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“We’re just trying to protect you! We only have rules because we love you!”
Kids need structure, and it is their parents’ responsibility to ensure that they are safe and well taken care of. But there is a difference between providing love and protection and creating an authoritarian regime in your household.
If you grew up with strict parents, you are likely either an expert at lying and sneaking out, or you’ve never broken a rule in your entire life. The effects of strict parenting can vary, but one thing’s for sure: strict parents are extremely creative with their arbitrary rules and punishments. Below, we’ve gathered some of the most ridiculous rules people who had strict parents shared in this Reddit thread, so you pandas can either bond over being raised in a similarly harsh home or be thankful that your parents didn't ground you for coming home at 8:03pm. Keep reading to also find interviews with parenting educator and coach and the woman behind the Word from the Bird blog, Hillary Gruener, and Editor-in-Chief of Parent for Brain, Pamela Li, MS, MBA.
Be sure to upvote the rules you find particularly silly, and let us know in the comments what household rules you were required to obey growing up. Then, if you’re interested in reading a Bored Panda article discussing harmful ideas parents should stop teaching their kids, check out this story next.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I got grounded from an end of year party at age 11 for getting a B on a paper, even though I still got all A's. I was devastated. It was thrown by my best friend... and I had been looking forward to it all year. I had the perfect dress to wear because my aunt's mother took me shopping and bought this cool dress that made me feel like Molly F*cking Ringwald. I was never allowed to wear it before, and it had been in my closet since September! I was seriously having a Cinderella moment—although I honestly related more to Jane Eyre because I was adopted and a bookworm.
The day of party I was bawling. I was a good kid. I tried to be perfect every waking moment... then I was grounded from my best friend's party.
The mom of my best friend knew how tough it was at home. I was screamed at, belittled, hit all the time. This party was a f*cking beacon.
Arlene, the BFF's mom, barged in my house, and told me to get ready and get my stuff together to spend the night. My mom protested.
Arlene said, "How about I call CPS about the 50 f*cking cats in your house?"
I went to the party, and Arlene taught me to be a badass.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Thank goodness this one had a happy ending - I felt SO BAD for that kid. :(
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
The sad fact is that the straight-A-students rarely makes the perfect employes anyway. Unless you are extremely bright, getting all these A's requires you to put in A LOT of work, which will come at with a cost on the rest of your "education" as decent human being, as there is only 24h in a day, which forces you to make some sacrifices in other areas. Furthermore doing everything to the absolutely best level will possible generate perfectionism which comes from a low selfestem, stemming from a fear of making a mistake. Therefore many straight A students will end up breaking down after a period of having met real life, where you, despite giving it all you can, will at times get a bad outcome due to circumstances which are beyond your control.
Myriah Fields 3 years ago
im technically not allowed to apply for college my last year of high school because my dad refuses to give me access to my personal email account bc I got in trouble two years ago. Other than that I get straight A's and I am a good student
To hear from an expert why strict parenting is not the best method of raising kids, we reached out to parenting educator and coach Hillary Gruener. First, we asked Hillary what some of the problems with strict parenting are. "Connection should always come before correction," she told Bored Panda. "Strict parenting leans more towards constant correction, and unhealthy expectation of a child to perform the 'right' way. This can lead children to feel inadequate in the eyes of their parents, possibly causing them to struggle with lifelong insecurity. It can also lead to people pleasing or rebellion."
"But when parents can guide and teach their child through example and loving discipline, it gets our agenda out of the way, and has the child’s best interest at heart — for them to have genuine hearts instead of perfect behavior. Strict parenting misses their hearts and becomes hyper focused on behavior," Hillary explained.
RELATED:
#2
My mom wouldn't let me have any female friends growing up. Joke's on her, I'm gay!
Shannon Stephens 3 years ago
All of these stories make me sad...I'm 4 months pregnant with my second little boy and I couldn't imagine treating my children like any of these "parents".
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago (edited)
Lol, oh the hirony, reminds me of a case of someone that didn't let her Daughter " do anything " widout a shaperon, funny thing the chaperon was a " double agent " and She got pregnant ( full Disclosure i was the shaperon, and She was my sister ) and since my Mother tried the same c**p on me ( stop me from going out at night with my friends ) i use to go with my sister as a shaperon, and then leave her with her boyfriend ( now my brother in law ), in other words, don't f*****g stop your kids from having fun, teach them to be carefull, warn them, but let them be free to " experience the world "
We also asked Hillary why parents sometimes feel the need to be too strict with their kids. "I know for myself, it’s convenient when my kids listen, are well-behaved, and things are peachy," Hillary shared. "Sometimes, being strict gets the job done, but it often misses the heart. My desire to control any given situation can often cause me to become more strict, have unrealistic expectations, and forgo the heart of the matter — for my kids to have genuine hearts."
"I think most of us desire control in some way or another," she explained. "It’s human. So other than it coming from that, it can also be a result of how we were raised. Unhealthy cycles are repeated when we don’t address them and do the work to be humble and apologetic to our kids, while also making changes where we need. Misbehaved children are a call for us as parents to look within and make sure their behavior isn’t a result of something we need to adjust in our parenting."
#3
When I was in 5th grade I wrote some stuff in my diary about masturbating, and like a month later, my mom went through all my stuff. She would randomly go in my room, tear it apart, I'd always get in trouble for SOMETHING, and then I'd have to clean up the mess and be grounded for whatever amount she felt like that day.
So anyway, she found that diary entry. She picks me up from school and won't talk to me. I get home, my door was removed from my room, that diary entry was taped on the wall, and I was threatened with a belt if I didn't answer all her invasive questions.
F****d up.
Talitha Jansen 3 years ago
A parent removing a door to the child's bedroom is so wrong on many levels. Clearly they can't parent without giving their kids a safe space. Not to mention how damaging it is to punish kids for masturbating in the safety of their own room
Louloubelle 3 years ago
This is anecdotal, but my brother did an internship at a free mental health clinic for school. He ran into home situations, and every house that the kids didn't have a door, those kids had eating disorders. Every single one.
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Bad Alchemy 3 years ago
That's some seriously effed-up bad parenting. Children deserve privacy, too. This is traumatizing, a betrayal of trust, and teaches so many bad lessons this comment box doesn't have enough space to list them. Stupid woman.
Gemma jones 3 years ago
my parents put a lock on the phone, raided my sisters and my room, said we never cleaned our rooms and beat us for the mess they created, lol they burnt our things in the back yard, we told teachers and family and no one would help us
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I had a friend in highschool who wasn't allowed to close her bedroom door (and yes, her dad was a religious nut). Nowadays she's so paranoid about her privacy that she refuses to own a smartphone.
Andy Smith 3 years ago
The only time I took my kids door off was when she was 3-4 and loved to slam it when having a tantrum. Took it off for a few weeks and never had another slamming fit
Louloubelle 3 years ago
I realize that it takes time, but how about just talking with your child about why you don't slam doors? And before you ask, yes, I am a parent. Yes, they slammed the doors. And yes, they did it when they were little. Taking a door off gives children the knowledge that they have no control in their lives. This is incredibly not healthy.
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SparkleFarts 3 years ago
This is why, even at 47, I just cannot bring myself to write in a diary/journal. My mother accuses me of being cagey, but that is learned survival behavior
We also asked Hillary if she had any advice for parents who are tempted to be extremely strict with their kids. "Always have your child’s best interest in mind," she said. "As the adult, it’s your job to set the tone of your household. Ask yourself, 'Do I want to raise genuine hearts or people-pleasers? Do I want my children to fear me when they have done something wrong or feel safe to come to me with anything?'"
"Set realistic boundaries and hold to them to keep everyone accountable, including yourself," Hillary continued. "You can come up with a family guide and list out all the things you expect of one another. For example, be kind, be gracious, put your dish in the dishwasher when you’re done eating, etc. Personalize it to your family. Give your kids clear ideas about what they CAN do, instead of focusing on all they are doing wrong."
Finally, Hillary shared, "Give your kids grace. So much grace. And the most important, if you mess up, simply apologize. There is so much power in your children seeing you own your mistakes."
If you're interested in hearing more wise words from Hillary about parenting, you can find her blog Word from the Bird right here and her Instagram account right here.
#4
I was not allowed to use public restrooms. I "ruined" our Disney trip because of how many times we had to go back to the hotel when I was six. And I quite honestly had accidents when I was far too old to do so because my parents had my teachers reporting bathroom use to them, too. There was no place I could safely use the restroom other than home without getting into trouble. Finally I got to use public restrooms without punishment when I f*cking went to college. I got pretty good at hiding restroom use in high school because the high school refused to report it to my parents. Why did none of these teachers spot the abuse? How?
Misha Writer 3 years ago
I worked at a day care, big chain, lots of locations. Anyway, I'd call the front desk on the in house phone to request relief for a bathroom break, and half the time no one would come. Manager tried to write me up for leaving my class out of ratio. I refused to sign the paperwork, and told her "I am 25 years old, I know when I need to use the bathroom. When I call you and ask for coverage because I need a bathroom break, it's because I. Need. A. Bathroom. Break. If you insist on filing this report, I will report you to HR. And so we're clear, when I call for relief, I expect relief or I will call HR and inform them you refuse to give grown adults access to a bathroom." (Obviously, if there was a legit reason for delay, that's entirely different. For the record, I never had a problem getting coverage again, after that conversation (and I was *not* written up).
The Silly Stellar Jay 3 years ago
Sheesh, I can't even imagine the justification the parents were using to not let you use public bathrooms. What an awful form of abusive control.
Rei 3 years ago
How do you ensure that your child will have accidents far beyond toddler and diaper phase? Just do what these parents were doing.
Moya Satterwhite 3 years ago
I always picked up a coffee as I walked through the cafeteria at work. That would last me till lunch or a quick break. When I ran into a problem of not having relief for the toilet, a boss said I wouldn’t need it if I didn’t drink so much. I don’t think he cared if my one kidney failed.
Kirsti Tuers 2 years ago
For having one drink before midday? Gaslighting bastard
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Angie Falzarano 3 months ago
I went to school with a girl like this. Mom picked her up every day for lunch so she could use the restroom at home. You didn't happen to grow up in ftw tx?
Victoria Knudsen 2 years ago
Many years ago I taught school and one of the things they laughed about in the teachers lounge was that one of the parents in the school said kids could get sexually transmitted diseases from using toilets in a rival school. Unbelievable.
#5
I was not allowed to watch Pokémon because it "taught evolution." Hahah.
Ian Conelley 3 years ago
Sounds like one of Greg Locke's sermons. The preacher who burns Harry Potter books and Ouija boards. "Pokemon are demons!" "We're having a Pokémon game cartridge burning' TONIGHT, oh yeah!" "Nintendo is the devil!" SMH.
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Paul Macdonell 3 years ago
I agree with this. They should instead read the bible where they will be taught to enslave their daughters, kill their sons and learn tips on how to be progressive in the 3rd century.
N Gregory 3 years ago
(supportive hint - put /s. Some people genuinely don't understand satire or sarcasm and will downvote you into oblivion)
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Salma Hernández 3 years ago
Yes, because evolution means that if you touch a rock, you evolve, if you have friends, you may evolve depending if its day or night.
SheamusFanFrom1987 3 years ago
I'll bet even Pokemon, who by nature can only say one thing aka their names, are waaaaaayyyy smarter than these kind of bozo parents.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
They are, some even smarter than normal humans
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Thor Haugen 3 years ago
I am a quite a bit older, but my Mom didn't want me to watch the original Star Trek for the same reason.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Yeah, that guy with the pointed ears made the devil seem attractive.
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UncleRussian 3 years ago
Ah yes I remember how I evolved from a Mankey to a human when I hit lvl 21
Being a parent is an extremely difficult job. There is so much pressure to do and say the right things to ensure that your children grow up to be kind, productive, intelligent, well-adjusted, contributing members of society. It’s natural to desire a little too much control over your children’s lives, as you just want the best for them, and you may fear that something will go wrong if they have too much freedom. But we have to allow kids autonomy. They are individuals, after all, and we can do everything in our power to guide them, but we cannot control them.
I grew up in a relatively strict household and attended a very strict private, religious school as a kid. I felt like there were rules everywhere I went. I never felt safe to explore, share my feelings or even ask questions, as it was so ingrained in me that I should just think inside the box and color inside the lines. Eventually, I attended arts school as a teen, and my whole world opened up. I was exposed to different kids of people, new lifestyles and ideas, and I met kids who weren’t scared of their parents or breaking the rules. Suddenly, the pendulum swung, and I felt the uncontrollable urge to rebel.
#6
My dad didn't believe in periods. And when I cried that I needed feminine products gave me food stamps to buy them. I was humiliated
MagicalUnicorn 3 years ago
was he one of those who believed that one could 'let it go' at once while on toilet? sorry you had to experience that
Helen Waight 3 years ago
One of those ‘just hold it in’, or believed that periods only happen to women who’ve had sex and are therefore sinful. (That last one was from a friend’s father back in 1994. Ye gods)
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Helen Witten 3 years ago
If there is any strictness involved in this post it's how the dad is strictly a pure AH. i had a male friend who was a the sole parent to two daughters. When it came time for his eldest daughter to have her first period he drove down to the nearest pharmacy (not easy as he lived in a rural area) and consulted with a female shop assistant on what he should do and buy etc. That's how father should approach the situation.
Louloubelle 3 years ago
My father was a really good man, and even though my two sisters and I also had a great mother, my dad learned about what we needed, and we're feeling when it came to periods. He was the one who took care of me, because I had endometriosis, and would get violently ill with every period. He even went to the library (no internet back then) and discovered what it was that was causing me such misery, and explained it to me. I was about 15. And had the sense of humor to tell my mother he should have invested in Tampax stock when I was born (youngest of 3 girls).
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Paul Macdonell 3 years ago
When gets old and becomes incontinent tell him, sorry, you don't believe in diapers.
Lilla Ontherun 3 years ago
A grown a.s man, who made at least one kid has no idea how the female body works. Shame on him and also shame on the education system.
Nunya Business 3 years ago
Ugh! He should be made to clean up after 1,000 heavily menstruating women without feminine products.
Sinkvenice 3 years ago
That's absolutely disgusting. It would be thoroughly deserved!
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
My dad was brilliant about periods, far more than my mother was. There were three of us all close in age, and every month he would buy what we needed, along with a bag of chocolate bars and leave them in our room. He knew which brands we preferred and how absorbant they needed to be, and made sure there were painkillers in the house. He was also great when we were having a strop or upset over something-if we were sulking in our room, he would leave a mug of tea and some cookies outside the door, and push a little note under it saying it was there and if we wanted to talk, to come and find him.
I’m not saying that having strict parents turned me into a delinquent or anything like that, but it certainly did impact who I am as a person. (Just ask my therapist, she’ll tell you!) And while I think I turned out just fine, there is no denying that growing up surrounded by strict rules and the fear of being punished or disappointing your parents has an impact on a person. In fact, according to VOA, overly strict parenting can cause long-term psychological consequences.
One 22-year-old accounting student opened up to VOA about how having extremely strict parents who place huge amounts of pressure on her has led to struggling with depression and feeling like she has limited freedom to make her own decisions. “There’s no emotional attachment between me and my parents at all,” she shared. She even noted that each morning, she is met with a tirade of harsh words from her parents as they demand perfect academic performance from her.
#7
My parents once grounded me for two years for getting a B on my report card. They took everything out of my room besides the bed, and I wasn't allowed to do anything with friends. A year-and-a-half into it I asked if I could be un-grounded. At that point they had actually forgotten what they grounded me for, but they refused because "I must have done something bad."
They also refused to let me stay up past 8 pm. Even in high school.
girlsrock4ever 3 years ago
This is the difference between the AVERAGE American & AVERAGE Indian parent (I put average because not all parents).
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Thor Haugen 3 years ago
There wasn't a punishment, but I once brought home a report card in junior high where I got 98 percent in a class. I was so proud. My mom's response? "Where is the other 2 percent?"
girlsrock4ever 3 years ago
I got 99% in math. All my classmates were freaking out about it, especially this one girl who got 96%. I told my dad, and he was like "okay..." and ignored it. And during the parent-teacher meeting, when my teacher told them I got the highest grade in math (not just my class, but the entire grade), they were genuinely surprised ("Your classmates must be really dumb.") But they did buy me one small chips packet for this (and said "this isn't the SATs" even though they acted like it was before).
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That nerd Zoe ️🇺🇦️ 3 years ago
what the hell. our rule is I only get grounded for a week if I get a C. (I'll have a c, I failed a science test because the questions were repeated so if I got one wrong or misunderstood I got them all wrong)
Tamra 3 years ago
I am a parent, and I think grounding for a C grade is fairly harsh. No disrespect meant, but a C isn't a bad grade.
Load More Replies...Not every strict parent is concerned about grades above all else, though. Some are more worried about their children’s appearances, worried they will go down a path of substance abuse, fearful their kids will be poorly behaved or get arrested, worried their own reputation will be tarnished by their children or simply believe that because they are the adults, they should be in charge of all of their children’s decisions.
#8
Dad was a narcissist... Biggest rule in the house was not to make any noise around him. If he was home the whole house got quiet and tense. Even my mom used to eat her cereal in the bedroom because she'd get in trouble for chewing crunchy food. Now she's long rid of him and married to a way better guy, but she still apologizes for eating crackers.
Bluebrains 3 years ago
My dad is the same way. He had his own room in our house that we weren't allowed to go into unless he called us in. Dead silence whenever he was home. I used to wait by the window for him to get back from work ust so I could know when I'd have to get out of his way. Parents, please don't do this to your kids. It is so, so isolating.
Jessica Gilbert 3 years ago
Sadly I feel like I can relate. I have to be quiet when my mom is sleeping. My mom sleeps in our family room which is next to our kitchen. She refuses to sleep in a bedroom due to past traumas. So if she decides to take a nap which is often because she has insomnia, we have to be quiet. Let’s say you wake up in the middle of the night wanting to get something out of the fridge? You can’t go down as it’s your fault to not having eaten more. It’s ok if you get 2-3 hours of sleep but as long as you don’t wake her up. No one is allowed to go downstairs until it’s a designated time on the weekdays/weekends and everyone is to be off her floor by 10pm.
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Deborah B 3 years ago
Ugg. I feel this. That "quiet and tense" stomach clenching feeling? Whether it's your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, roommate, or even your boss. If you feel like that when they walk into the room, it's time to end that relationship.
MoMcB 3 years ago
I remember sitting outside my house in the car, in the freezing cold, as I'd rather be there than in the house with my ex.
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Xenia Harley 3 years ago
My father was also like this. he had a regular "Hour of Hate" where if we made too much noise, that's what we got. He would use a whip and made us jump up and down like birdies. Stuff like that. I told a friend once, as an adult, and she basically said, that was beyond abuse, and she would call it torture! Who does that?
Jeremy Callahan 3 years ago
Thank you. I suffer from misophonia and it's so hard on bad days to be around my family when they eat cereal. Luckily I've been diagnosed, but how many anger-challenged dads don't know the root of their anxiety?
Load More Replies... Becky Samuel 3 years ago
Not defending terrible parenting, but there number of people on Boredpanda complaining about lack of compassion or understanding for their misphonia. Yes, it was his responsibility to do something about it rather than take it out on his family, but it wasn't easy for men of older generations to break free from a lifetime of programming that therapy=bad.
Wick E. Scratch 3 years ago
I'll say it - If one's handling of Misophonia (or really any other diagnosis for that matter) results in loved ones living in fear of eating or drinking or breathing, or anything, because of how you react to them, then you are a complete f*cking pric* (not sure there is a diagnosis code for that) - full stop. Taking your misery out on those closest to you enough times that they worry about pissing you off is some bad sh*t to do to people, yo.
Load More Replies... FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Yeah, an ex-boss of mine is one. When his kids were old enough they worked there during school holidays. Surprise : they have some issues too....
#9
I attended Church three times on Sunday at 9 am, 11 am, and 7 pm, followed by Bible study Tuesday nights and youth group Friday nights. I can count on one hand the times I missed attending from birth until I moved out at 17.
I haven't been back since.
Ivo H 3 years ago
Oh my god, that's so twisted. Why does everything related to christianity feel like torture?
aZZy_d3Lta 3 years ago
honestly, it's not super bad! the bad part just gets the major voice. you can go if you want to, you can make some good friends, it's just HOW people try to get others to join ("you need to join!" vs "hey wanna come this once? i dont care if you say no") and HOW you make children go ("you HAVE to go to this curch activity" vs "hey aZZy, wanna go to this church activity?) it's the same with other thigns, such as gacha, tiktok, and fortnite, they aren't bad, but the bad part gets the main voice. people should really do more research before judging
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Shay Tracy 3 years ago
Same la. I don't even remember what I got in trouble for, but for punishment that week I had to go to all 3 services on Sunday, fasting meeting on Tuesday, prayer meeting on Wednesday, and youth group on Thursday. At my most generous now, I'm vaguely agnostic but 100% against organized religion.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Where did they get the idea that making churchgoing a punishment would make you want to be religious?
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Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
My mother recently APOLOGISED for pushing religion onto us children when we were young, saying she realised that I might not be such an atheist (agnostic, actually) if she hadn't forbidden me so many things. I wasn't allowed to read the Harry Potter books when they came out and had to smuggle them into my room from the library... BUT she recently sat down with my husband, my brother and me, to watch the first Harry Potter movie "cause she wanted to understand what we all like about it". - There can be growth, people, with time, talking and, sometimes, therapy.
Burnt Bagel 3 years ago
I go to church daily: I live in the mountains and I hike. Forced Christianity at a young age significantly f****d up my life for a long time. God is a lot easier to find in the trees before they are cut down to build a church….
To gain more insight on this topic, we also reached out to Pamela Li, MS, MBA, bestselling author and Editor-in-Chief of the online publication Parenting for Brain, to hear her thoughts. First, she laid out some of the issues commonly associated with strict parenting. “Children who are raised by strict parents often display externalizing behaviors or internalizing behavior,” Pamela told Bored Panda.
“Externalizing behavior occurs when rebellious children act out,” she explained. “They are at risk of behavioral or anti-social problems, such as aggression and delinquency. Internalizing behavior happens when children turn their negativity inwards resulting in mental health issues such as depression and anxiety.”
#10
No trends, or 'passing fads'.
Pokemon, banned. Barbies, banned. Beanie babies, banned. Playstation/Gameboys? Banned. Anything particularly fashionable, or popular *regardless of actual merit* was met with derision and we'd be mocked for even suggesting interest.
We were achingly frumpy kids with interests and cultural references (or lack thereof) that isolated us from our peers and they wondered why each of us were bullied.
Ann Mohrmann 3 years ago
I really can't see how Barbies are a 'passing fad'. Popular I'll give you.
Joshua Selbitschka 3 years ago
Honestly, the only one that really was a passing fad on that list was Beanie Babies as far as I know. Everything else has managed to stick around... though Gameboys have just evolved.
Load More Replies... Ashley Schriber 3 years ago
Ah, the old, "I'll make my kids independent thinkers...by pushing them to think as I do!" I'm quite familiar.
lenka 3 years ago
I hear what you are saying and I absolutely agree. On the other side though.... letting your kids have every latest fad isn't encouraging them to be independent thinkers either. It simply encourages them to follow the pack, rather than seek out their own interests and determine for themselves the value in a toy.
Load More Replies... lenka 3 years ago
I don't tend to buy into "fads" for my kids either because it is very expensive to keep up with the joneses and a horrible waste to buy and consume just for the sake of it and there is a new fad every week. I DO buy into the fads only if they have a genuine interest or there is value in the toy. I don't ban a fad, but I will not encourage it either. I didn't buy barbies (not that they are a fad) until they started being more than just pretty (i.e. doctors, pilots, vets etc) but my daughter bought one herself from her own birthday money which was fine by me. We don't do beanie babies but we do stuffed animals that support endangered species. Mostly we just encourage the kids to think about what they buy and WHY. if its just because everyone else has one, then its not really wise spending.
Amy 3 years ago
My Gram bought me a pilot Barbie and it was my favorite thing ever! And I did grow up to be a pilot. 😁
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Terry Butler 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe if the child had an allowance (could be contingent on doing reasonable chores), they could make some purchasing decisions and find out for themselves why sometimes fads are a waste of money. But sometimes spending a few dollars for something you really want is very satisfying.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
I wasn't allowed Barbies because she was worried it gave me unrealistic beauty standards. She was right, but it only made me want one more. So, I got the Sunshine Family--like every child with a wheat-grass-loving mother. They wore Birkenstocks and looked like they were planning to move in to a commune.
shammy wells 2 years ago
I'm 22 and my Parents banned me from almost all tech, little did they know I taught myself to hack computers and removed their restrictions, i worked a job online at school at age 15 and made 12000 dollars over a year. Their attempt to shelter me failed miserably and still I turned out as a totally cool graphic designer not some drunk crack addict that they thought unsheltered kids ended out as.
#11
I was interested in learning about Wicca, because I was young and in highschool. Early 2000's. When Harry Potter was still happening and all that stuff. My mom and step dad found out by reading an email I sent to my cousin. It was the summer and they freaked out. Took everything. I couldn't read, I couldn't listen to music, I couldn't watch TV or movies with the family, I couldn't hang out with friends, couldn't talk to my cousin anymore, basically anything that might bring me pleasure was taken. They made me do chores all day, would go on family outings without me. Soon I became a shell of a person. I was going to kill myself, I wanted to I just was scared of death so I decided not to go through with it. So I turned myself off. They hated it. They weren't getting a rise out of me anymore, anything they said to me, to extending my sentence I wouldn't react to. Since thier narcissism relied on a victim, I wasnt a source anymore. So they extended my grounding even further. They could have told me to go pick up dog s**t in the backyard with my teeth and I wouldn't have flinched. My step dad's family (just as terrible) would come over and belittle me as well. I was told to "smile". So I'd humor then and flash an empty smile for a second and return to my blank expression I had to find solace in. All this to "save me from going to hell" the only thing that saved me that summer was my visitation with my dad. My mom and step dad tried to paint him in a bad light like hr was the abusive one. Even as a kid I knew my dad didn't make me feel as bad and empty as they did. I eventually got through it. Years later, (about 4 years ago now) I ended up working at a job (unexpectedly) with a girl I used to play with in the neighborhood. I always wondered why she stopped showing up. When I wasnt home, or in another part of the house, she came to the door and asked to play. One of my parents opened the door and told her I didn't want to play with her anymore. I always wondered why she never hung out with me, or talked to me. Even finding this out in a more recent term, I cried and apologized to her. I could have had a great friendship. With a lot of people but they just wanted to alienate and control me. Unfortunately this is just the tip of the iceberg. I don't talk to them anymore, but I still llive in the same city as them and I have a lot of social anxiety because of that. One of my roommates, exhibits some of the behavior my parents were so kind as to bestow on me. It's making things difficult to handle. I just want people to be happy and live in a healthy environment. It's so f****d up that the biggest monsters in the world are the people closest to you. Edit: thank you kind stranger for the gold!
Stacy Kincannon 3 years ago
This sounds absolutely horrible! I hope you and the girl are fiends now. I hope you are getting therapy so you can retrain your brain to see what “ normal” is and to cement the fact that you did absolutely nothing wrong😢! Blessings for your new life🥰
Robert McKenzie 3 years ago
It is healthy for a young mind to learn! I read about many religions from simple curiosity and eventually decided that, with them all disagreeing more or less, they were all rubbish. Divine inspiration would be obviously consistent, so any disagreements must be man-made. My parents were not overly strict, and not religious nutters, so at least I have that to thank. Probably the greatest gift was my mum loved reading and encouraged it, but not comics.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
My parents never indoctrinated me into religion, but also left me free to make up my own mind (which is how it should be). When I was in highschool I also spent a lot of time in the library reading up on the various religions because I was curious. I ultimately concluded that it was all clearly made up and also nonsensical (and sometimes downright horrible) so I made the informed choice to become an atheist.
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Kristi Northcutt 2 years ago (edited)
I can't tell you how sad it makes me to read about parents who act this way. They alienate their children and are never aware that they lost one of the most important and fulfilling relationships it is possible for a human being to have. I was neither strict nor lenient with my children. I didn't try to be their friend but I tried to keep things between us loving,friendly and fun. I made my mistakes, unintentionally of course. My philosophy of parenting, as I look back on it, can be summed up as "hold on loosely". It's always waking a fine line, not being overbearing, but also not leaving children to feel adrift and alone in the world with no safety net. I am 58, and my daughters are 25 & 26, and they are easily my best friends. My friends are jealous because my girls love me and treat me with respect (which is mutual on both counts), while their children never want to spend time with them. I wish all parents could see their children are worth more than all the riches in the world.
Heather Vandegrift 3 years ago
I really hope you can find a way to get therapy, not only to unpack all the trains, but to give you healthy coping strategies for dealing with people like your roommate when they (intentionally or not) cause you to relive your trauma. And I hope you've explored Wicca and any other thing you were prevented from discovering! Blessed be 🌛🌕🌜
ctsbathory 3 years ago
I would find the nearest voodoo store and hex the daylights out of them! Or tell them I did so they woukd freak out and give me credit for all the bad things that ever happened to them for the rest of their lives.
corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
brb gotta finish my time machine so I can travel through time to kick some keisters
#12
Females of the family must cook and clean on holidays while males watch tv. Must buss male's plates every night. No visiting friend's houses no friends over at our house all the way through high school. Hair cannot be cut at or above shoulder. 7:00 pm bedtime. Not curfew. Bed time. Through junior high. Strictly enforced. Needless to say, I rebelled strong and hard.
XiaLi Wang 2 years ago
The word "cult" is thrown around too much and often used in the wrong context. If they said this was enforced by their family's religion, sure, it would make sense to describe it as a cult. But this sounds like a controlling, sexist, patriarchal family structure. I hope the OP continued their rebellion and found good people in her life
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Nunya Business 3 years ago
Were the girls allowed to wear pants? I grew up with family like this.
sturmwesen 3 years ago
naaa.. I had a friend from elementary till 8th grade. She was not allowed to cut more than a cm every few years. Not religious at all but very ehhhh gender-oriented?
Load More Replies... Terry Butler 3 years ago
I had to deal with this all my childhood. It was infuriating. When I got married, my husband would make a point of helping with clean-up.
Ashley Spurlock 3 years ago
I HATE long hair but I'm not allowed to cut it because it's "NoT lAdY lIkE"
Amanda 3 years ago
Sorry about that. I couldn't get haircuts they way I wanted either. So I just tied it up every single day. The not being allowed to have control over your own body at,well an age old enuff to be on here commenting, is just b.s. I don't see how a Mom can do things like this to a daughter. Some people may not think it's a big deal but it is. It's a sign of larger misogynistic control.
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Wesley Humphreys 3 years ago
That’s not how members of the Church of Jesus Christ function. I’m a member, and this is not one our beliefs, or guidelines. I don’t know anyone that follows this belief as a member.
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“Children with strict parents also tend to have inflexible thinking, lower self-esteem, peer rejection, and relationship problems,” Pamela continued. “Strict parenting backfires when parents try to control their children’s academic performance. The more they force their children to follow rules in doing their homework or getting good grades, the less motivated they are. Those who enforce rules by taking away privileges will run out of things to take away sooner or later, and their children will still not be motivated.”
#13
My parents were horrible parents in general, but the most bizarre rule that my siblings and I had to follow was that we weren't allowed to sneeze multiple times in a row. One sneeze? Fine. Another sneeze after some arbitrary number of minutes later? No problem. Two sneezes in a row? I would get yelled at for being unhygienic... and for having no manners. God forbid if you sneezed thrice or more in a row...
I have seasonal allergies, and one time my dad was in a particularly bad mood and caught me in a sneezing fit. He grounded me for a week.
Helen Waight 3 years ago
That’s like being grounded for hiccuping more than once! You can’t control some things!
Ivo H 3 years ago
My mom always sneezed in 7-sneeze bursts. No less, no more, exactly 7. This guy would go nuts near her.
WoodenLion 3 years ago
i go from 7-11 - always. so does my brother. i have no allergies.
Load More Replies... Ann Mohrmann 3 years ago
People generally sneeze in threes because you can't get the irritant up and out in just one.
Catte West 3 years ago
I would be permanently grounded. Always sneeze at least twice, sometimes five on a row. So sorry you had to live like that. Hope your life is better.
#14
I was not allowed to talk to boys. One Christmas Eve Day, I was doing last minute shopping in the downtown of our little town. I ran into two male friends from my German class and we talked for several minutes and wished each other a Merry Christmas. Oh I was fifteen at the time. My older sister drove by and saw me, told my parents I was " hanging out with boys " . When I walked in the house both my parents were waiting and the yelling began. Some Christmas Eve.
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
I'm sure the sister was under the same prohibition, and she either drank the Kool-Aid or was just downright mean to snitch out the sister.
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Balso Steele 3 years ago
10 years? Parents like that it'd be 3 years & 5 minutes. Split second she was 18.
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 3 years ago
All you will achieve by deniying children/teens contact with other children of the oposite sex is grown-ups who will be completely clueless when they have to form their first relationship, and that may end up making them inadvertently causing some abuse isues, due to misunderstandings. Thinking you can control teens and their hormones in that way absurd, and there are countless examples of such attempts failing. So a better strategy would be to make sure that they get the proper knowledge, and are well prepared. Otherwise you may very well end up in a situation where you have to deal with the teen pregnancy you were trying so hard to prevent.
Potato 3 years ago
Had a guy get mad when he saw me talking to another guy. He asked how I would feel if I saw him talking to another woman. Honestly? It would be great, because maybe he might learn more about women. (But also, I'm non-binary and pansexual, so that was just a tip of the issue.) Most of us are capable of having a conversation without wanting to f**k.
Load More Replies... Paul Macdonell 3 years ago
But were your brothers ordered not to talk to girls ??? I am guessing this fence was painted on only one side....
Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
I don't get "forbidding from talking to any particular gender"? How are kids supposed to learn to interact if they're prohibited.
Balso Steele 3 years ago
They aren't. They're meant to obey whatever man their parents force them to marry.
Load More Replies... Helen Waight 3 years ago
‘You can’t talk to or be friends with someone of a gender you’re attracted to’ is SUCH a bizarre mindset. I’m pansexual, am I never allowed friends again?
girlsrock4ever 3 years ago
It's not the gender you're attracted to, it's ONLY the opposite gender, because of the heteronormative society we live in.
Load More Replies... Helen Witten 3 years ago
That is something my sister would have done and all with a smug smile on her face. Sisters can be so argh!!!
Gemma jones 3 years ago
i slept at a guy friends house as i missed the last train home they thought i slept with him and didnt talk to me for two weeks, i was 22 as well, in case youre asking why didnt you move out, i was too scared to as they said i would never survive without them
Fester Sixonesixonethree 3 years ago
It's c**p like this that's kept me from speaking with either of my brothers for nearly 50 years. The hell with them.
#15
My mom was paranoid, and she thought everyone and everything was a kidnapper. She hated the mailman on our route. So when I was young, around three or four years old, my mom told me it was illegal to be outside when the mail came.
Around 11:15 am every day I'd see that truck coming. I'd high tail it inside the house, terrified I would be spotted.
Fast forward 30 years. I still genuinely feel a tinge of panic in the recesses of my brain when I see the mailman arrive. Only now it's overpowered by excitement over the latest Amazon package I don't really need.
Robert Hernandez 2 years ago
That's not even a thing... Amazon doesn't use the US postal service.
Shelley Barrows 2 years ago
Yes they do, depends on where you are and if it's small enough to fit in your mailbox. Even then sometimes they get out and drop it off at my door if it doesn't fit. It is usually something light. I know I get Amazon deliveries from the prime Vans from the USPS, and I'm not sure but I think it comes from UPS and FedEx too.
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We also asked her why parents feel the need to be so strict. “Many strict parents were raised by strict parents themselves,” Pamela explained. “The irony is that those who grew up without control crave control over their children. They suffer from inflexible thinking, just like their children. Their belief is that having strict rules is the only way to raise children who can meet their high standards. Any deviation from them is unacceptable. They are stuck in the either-or thinking, either the child follows the rules or they will be ruined and a failure as a result. For them, there is no middle ground.”
#16
I had a friend who wasn't allowed to sit on the couch. No matter the circumstances. That was the first time I realized something was really wrong in his house. The kicker - it was a crappy couch, so it's not like he was going to ruin it.
Edit: responding to a gazillion people at once.
To the folks looking for logic, you'll find none. No, the parents weren't saving the couch for company. No, the kids didn't have a history of damaging the couch. No, the kids weren't little troublemakers - they were surprisingly well-behaved teens (surprising because of how they were raised). This is about control, not logic. Domestic abuse is always about exerting control. Don't let anyone try to convince you otherwise.
Even after adding a note about child abuse, I'm still getting jokes about how my friend must be a dog. Thanks, Reddit.
Terry Butler 3 years ago
When children aren't allowed to challenge or question their parents' behaviors or decisions, you end up with weird rules like this. The child is in survival mode, and the parents are playing out old stuff from their own past.
Amanda perry 3 years ago
I was the perfect nerd. Had to sit on floor as it was my mums couch. Nor could I watch her TV. These rules didn't apply to my sister and brother
Mandy Randell 2 years ago
Ah Reddit. The only place you can post you were once raped and get inboxes from men offering to do the same. Or USDP. Yep cos that's what I need after an already traumatic experience.
ispeak catanese 3 years ago
The friend wasn't allowed to sit on the couch in his own home, not OP's home.
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#17
Was forced to drop out of school in the 5th grade because my grandmother believed that most people have no souls and were demon possessed.
She said that the world was unsafe to roam freely because Satan was trying to corrupt God's children. This lead to a very sheltered life and very silly things like having to pray over every individual item that entered the house. Food, toiletries, dish soap, you name it. I'd get woken up at 2am to be screamed at for 3+ hours over something 'God' had told her that I did wrong.
So yeah, I guess the most unreasonable rule I grew up with was not being allowed to leave the house.
Edit: ok I get it......apparently my life was binding of Isaac's storyline.
The Radio Demon 3 years ago
I agree. That isn't safe for the kid under any circumstances. If the parents want to be fiercely religious, that's fine, but don't let it out on the kid. Church every Sunday? Sure. Praying every night? Alright. But forcing the kid to drop out of school because of religion? Nope, that's a line that has to be drawn.
Load More Replies... Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
This grandmother had some serious mental derangement that needed immediate treatment of.
Catte West 3 years ago
I absolutely loathe people who use "religion" to force their insane values and beliefs on anyone. If they were truly religious they would see they are in total opposition of what it all means.
Rei 3 years ago (edited)
Someone please tell that lady that God is far more powerful than any demon so she doesn't need to be afraid. Fear comes from the pit and surely not from a strong faith. What hurts most though is that this fear had such negative impacts on a child.
Balso Steele 3 years ago
You can't argue with an insane person. "God allows it to test your faith" would be her retort
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censorshipsucks 3 years ago
wow, I would have gone out my way to blaspheme and descecrate until she had a heart attack. talk about abusive.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
My mom once told me she'd had a dream where I murdered a little boy. Specifically that I shot him with a bow and arrow while he was running away from me. I didn't get in trouble for it, but she told me that it must mean god was trying to tell her I had done something wrong.
#18
Mom hits me with kitchen utensils and yells that "i am not allowed to put my hands up to defend myself from her strikes"
Alexandra Davis 3 years ago
Hits insinuates this is still happening, I really hope this person reports this abuse to a trusted adult.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I can think of a few things to do. 1: bite her, kick her. 2. call the police/CPS ASAP. 3. beat HER with kitchen utensils and tell her that she can't put her hands up (f**k her.) 4. IT'S NOT DEFENSE IF IT'S OFFENSE.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
clarifying idea 4: If she yells, say it's offense, not defense. Then beat the s**t out of her. She deserves it. Good luck, random redditor....i hope you find a good family soon.
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Marcellium 3 years ago
This one with the current tense was worrisome. The original post is five years old, so hopefully this perosn is out of there, now.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago (edited)
Yea mine did the same s**t, just not with utensils, She is old school lol its bare hands.
Thor Haugen 3 years ago (edited)
My Mom slapped me once. This was when I was a kid and a lot shorter than her. I slapped her right back. She is the only person I have ever hit. Never happened again.
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
My mother broke so many wooden spoons over my head, she resorted to the metal soup ladle.
Terry Butler 3 years ago
I was beat regularly with anything on hand. We attended church 3-4 times a week. The preacher frequently preached, " Spare the rod and spoil the child." Thankfully, my middle school Sunday School teacher was a wonderful person who let me see how a kind adult behaves towards children. I have thanked her many times for giving me hope.
We also asked for any advice she has for parents who feel the temptation to be very strict. “The first step that parents can take if they realize that they are too strict is to talk to their children and get their perspectives,” Pamela shared. “For this to work, they must be open to feedback and criticism. The parents must understand that many things can be accomplished in more than one way. Instead of imposing extremely strict rules on their children, they can find a balance. Strict rules won’t help their kids succeed, but will only damage their relationships with them.”
#19
When I was in first grade, I had a writing homework assignment. My dad used to be weird about me erasing, because he wanted me to do it right the first time. I ended up erasing a lot on this homework, and my dad took the paper from me, ripped it in half, and told me to start over. Turned out it was the last sheet of paper in the entire house, and I don't remember why but for some reason we couldn't go and buy more paper that night.
So ironically, I ended up having to completely erase an old homework assignment to have a sheet of paper so I could start over... I'm 22 now, and still give him crap about that.
Pink kitty 3 years ago
Making mistakes is how you learn. How can anyone always do something perfectly the first time?
Gwyn 3 years ago
This is how you give your kids a complex. You don't have to do everything perfect all the time. Completed the assignment? It's readable? You met all the requirements? Good enough. Put out your extreme efforts on race day. The other days are training, you still put in the work, recover, and get better at what you are doing and have energy and enthusiasm for learning each day.
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
Ask any professional writer, any college grad, any English teacher, and they will all say the same thing, while you might do an outline and other preliminary work, writing starts with a rough draft that you then edit 1 to a gazillion times until it's done or you say screw it, it's good enough. Physicists and other science types often use white boards because it is so easy to erase and correct. White out was a thing because typos happen, even with the best typists.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
Nuts! Even the best writers write and rewrite constantly. It's how writing works. Frankly I would do a lot more than "give him c**p", but I am not you and I can't judge. As a parent, I can tell you we are far from perfect and we make mistakes. Being able to accept it, internalize it and change.
Kat 3 years ago
Call me old, but I always had to do writing assignments first in a draft and then copy the result in ink. Handing in a pencilled paper with erased stuff seems ... Lack of respect...
juice 3 years ago
maybe for middle or high school, but this was the first grade.
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#20
Have a friend who isn't allowed to go out if "he's already had too much fun this weekend." That's the only reason, they think he'll become corrupted if he has too much fun and that he won't know how to work. He's in college
Lisa H 3 years ago
Probably just smiling. Given the rule, the parents are obviously nuts.
Load More Replies... Mary Rogers 3 years ago (edited)
Wow. He's in college and presumably an adult (unless he graduated high school early) and his parents are still controlling him? What they are actually doing is stunting his growth so when he gets a job he won't know how to make his own decisions. He will be waiting for his boss to tell him everything he should do.
jeff adams 2 years ago
Jokingly told my daughter that she could go out as long as she didn't have any fun. She looked at me as if I had 2 heads.
#21
I wasn't allowed to say "i died" on mario. I "lost one of my chances to succeed".
sonja erickson 3 years ago
My mom had the same rule!! She also took away the gun that came with the Nintendo for duck hunt...
Fluff Filled Mushrooms 3 years ago
How odd my parents do this as well, but I can understand their reasoning... (Both have seen combat + lost people to war)
TheLadyMagic 3 years ago
This one at least I understand their reasoning. There is power in the spoken word. You can manifest what is spoken into reality. I didn't say I agree with it I said I understand it.
“It is not easy for people with rigid thinking to realize their own problems,” Pamela added. “If this is difficult for them, it is good to seek professional help. Experienced counselors can help them see more possibilities in any given situation so that they aren't trapped in black-and-white thinking.”
If you’d like to hear more wise words from Pamela, be sure to check out her website Parenting for Brain right here. And if you’d like to read an article she wrote on the topic of strict parents, you can find that right here.
#22
For every minute I was late coming in from curfew, I got grounded a week. I once spent ten weeks grounded due to a sobriety check point.
Anne McKinney 3 years ago
Especially since he obviously passed at the checkpoint.
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Phyllis Turbin 3 years ago
You should have anticipated that. 🙄 (Our postal supervisor's comment for an accident delaying returning to the office on time.)
Kristi Northcutt 2 years ago
Wouldn't it be nice if we were all prescient?
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#23
My father was very very strict. I wasn't allowed to have alone time with my mother. He beat the s**t out of me constantly. But the oddest thing that still bugs me to this day, is that he would burn all my things as punishment. And I get it, seeing my Toys and valuables burning sucked, and I probably learned some lessons. But he not only burned toys, he would burn EVERYTHING. Every year or so for school we would go to Meijer and buy me new school clothes and shoes. He would also burn those, like sometimes days after he bought them. At 8 years old I remember thinking...you now have to buy me more clothes. But that wasn't the point I suppose. He once took me to the palace of auburn hills in Detroit to see the globe trotters one year and during the night he bought me a globe trotters basketball and jersey. We had a fun night. The very next day, I had left something on the floor in my room and his punishment, among other things, was to burn the basketball and jersey he bought for like 150 dollars less than 24 hours earlier. It just never made sense to me. My friends would joke about it all throughout middle and high school.
Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
Yep. He probably bought things like the basketball and jersey with the plan to burn them the minute they did something wrong - they weren't true gifts, just methods of control.
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Bad Alchemy 3 years ago
This is not being strict. This is being a controlling, abusing monster. He needs some jail time to round out his human experience, preferably with a cellmate named Big Mike.
Bailey W. 3 years ago
Kids. They were kids. Kids don't understand the problem enough to react in a better way. Most of them at least not. And that's okay. They just weren't able to help him and that's the way a kid copes with something like that.
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Phil Green 3 years ago
Sounds as though he may have had a mental problem. It's rather sad. And I am sorry you had to put up with that kind of treatment.
#24
I had a ton. I think the most unreasonable was that we (my siblings and I) weren't allowed to know where we were going during car rides. If we'd ask we were told "Business", and figure it out we were going to the store, etc. only after we arrived to our destination.
This lasted until I moved out.
Another was asking for permission to use the bathroom every time. This didn't last as long.
Meeple13 3 years ago
I can understand what must've happened to get rid of the bathroom rule XD
InvincibleRodent 3 years ago
Malicious compliance, I would have woken them up at 2 am to ask to go to pee. One week of that, and the rule is gone.
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Spannidandoolar 3 years ago
If we were going somewhere fun my parents wouldn't tell us where we were going (it could be as sime as going to see our cousins), they'd spell out where we were going to each other and we'd get so excited, looking for roads we recognised etc. As a result of this I can clearly remember the day I learnt to spell, thirty odd years later.
Lia Salvatore 3 years ago
Whenever we ask where we are going, Dad just says "eNJoy thE dRiVe", and doesnt tell us. I just ask mom. This must have sucked, so sorry.
Amanda 3 years ago
Sometimes when we would ask my Dad,(who was usually a narcissistic duckbag) but onetime in a good mood he said "follow me" , I thought was funny. So now like 30 yrs later I say it to kids in my car in rare occasion when they don't already no where we are going ahead.
Load More Replies...So what’s the healthy alternative to strict parenting? According to Dr. Laura Markham at Aha! Parenting, the ideal style of parenting is authoritative. “I call this parenting style ‘Empathic Limits’ to get across the point that we do set limits, just like the Authoritarian (strict) parents, but we do it with empathy, just like the Permissive parents,” Dr. Laura explains. “Children thrive on Limits and Age-appropriate expectations, but only if they're set with empathy… What we're really aiming for is the expectations and limits that keep kids functioning at a high level, combined with the warmth and support of ‘Permissive’. That combination of empathy and limits is the sweet spot that raises amazing kids -- and makes for the best parenting.”
#25
I wasn't allowed to swim in public swimming pools because I would catch AIDS. My P.E. class would go to the pool one week per year, I had to walk laps around the pool because I couldn't participate.
MagicalUnicorn 3 years ago
oh my gosh, that's one of most morose ones i read and definitely not how biology works
Beth L 3 years ago
There was a lot that *wasn't* known about HIV/AIDS in the 1980s. Kids with AIDS were banned from schools. Children's Services wouldn't place HIV+ kids in a house with healthy kids because they might use the wrong toothbrush. Adults who had AIDS were often disowned by their families and died alone, their remains unclaimed. Sometimes their family would ban their friends/lovers from the hospital as well. AIDS was a poorly understood and always fatal virus back then.
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ctsbathory 3 years ago
When I was a teenager I had a friend with HIV. I once accompanied him to a support group. The kid next to me had been sharing and when he finished I hugged him. That made him cry because he hadn't been hugged by anyone since he was diagnosed. It was heart breaking. I have worked with the Aids foundation since then because I just could not bare knowing suffering like that existed and not do whatever small thing I could to stop it. My friend passed away from the desease unfortunately. I'm so grateful that medical science didn't stop looking for treatments and hopefully I will never lose another friend to that awful deaseae.
Helen Witten 3 years ago
I have to say I do avoid public swimming pools these days and not because of aids specifically. I just can't get it out of my head how many people might be peeing in the water. Other peoples snot plus someone suffering diaohherea being swished around in the mix is enough to completely put me off public swimming pools.
Helen Waight 3 years ago
I can appreciate that feeling, I won’t go near saunas or jacuzzis for germ fears either. However my local swimming pool I scoped out enough to know they’ll shut it down the instant fecal matter is seen and the water treatment plant is easily countering the small level of pee. But I won’t go to a place I don’t know.
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Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
This made me lol... although back in the early days of AIDS/HIV we really didn't know how it was spread
Demongrrrrl 3 years ago
Polio closed a lot of swimming pools in the 1940s & 50s. I think it really transmissible in water, unlike AIDS
Nathan Pogorzala 3 years ago
I'm sure these people take Hydroxychloroquine and Invermectin. Don't know s**t from Shinola when it comes to medical practices, biology or infectious diseases.
#26
I was not allowed to wear makeup or shave until 16. My mom was controlling about food. Everything was kept track of. I had to be in marching band in order to get my permit. I had a job, but even if I worked second shift (which I did) and came home at 11, I would have to clear the plates from the table for the dinner that they ate. If I asked to hang out with a friend in the presence of said friend, the answer was automatically no. I was only allowed to do things if the friend or their parent was paying for it. The straw that broke the camels back (and ultimately made me move out at 16) was that I had to live like a boarder. Showers cost five dollars, a load of laundry was $1.00 for washer, $1.00 for dryer. Telephone time cost $.25 per minute.
Ann Mohrmann 3 years ago
That last one is illegal, your parents have to provide for you until you're 18.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
My mother kicked me out of the house when I was 17 because I threatened to call the police the next time my father beat me. I lived in my car and worked two jobs to keep going to university because I couldn't get a student loan. Apparently my "family" lived in a nice neighborhood so they assumed I would waste the money.
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Bad Alchemy 3 years ago
Somedays I wish there was a law that requires taking education and passing a test for a Parenting License before you can have kids.
Sarah SH 3 years ago (edited)
Is it weird that a lot of these make me wonder what these parents’ parents were like? Like what kind of environment did THEY grow up in? For a bit when my kids were younger (elementary) I was kind of pushy with some hygiene things (like overly-rinsing their hair after they washed it to be sure all of the shampoo was rinsed out and combing and re-combing their hair). I later explained to them it was because my parents hardly ever bathed me or combed my hair much as a kid and never really taught me how to take care of that stuff myself. After I was bullied relentlessly at school for being the grubby kid, I would try to wash my hair myself, but would make it worse because I looked like greasy and crusty from not rinsing out all of the shampoo. I let up on the pushiness when I realized that being over the top with stuff might cause it’s own issues.
Sinnsyk Jakte 2 years ago
My female progenitor wouldn't let me shave with a fresh blade; she always made me shave with her used ones.
Savannah C 2 years ago
I had a friend who’s mom started charging her for things at 15 and made her buy all her own things, including toiletries. She was homeschooled and had to work almost full-time hours at McDonalds until she swapped to public school. Her parents also hoarded a lot of the groceries in their room, like sodas and snacks so all the kids had were their basic meals. Oh, and every time I rode with them somewhere her mom demanded gas money from me even if they were already going to that place.
#27
My mom was insanely controlling about food. Weird rules were in place like "one slice of lunch meat per sandwich." No one but her was allowed to cook. She'd make one giant batch of spaghetti or something and we'd have leftovers for days, so she only had to make dinner twice a week. She did not work or anything, just didn't like cooking every day. Breakfast was cold cereal and you'd only be allowed a small bowl with just enough milk to moisten it. Occasionally she'd bake something she called Corn Toasties which was simply cornbread baked in a sheet pan. She'd cut them into squares and fill the freezer with them and we could have one of those for breakfast as an alternative. Once when I was fourteen I bought a pack of hot dogs at the store, snuck them home, and lit the grill. I was almost done cooking them when she came out screaming about fire hazards and swatted the plate out of my hand. She had been making spaghetti, what an ungrateful little bastard I was. So then she orders a pizza for the rest of my family, wraps individual servings of spaghetti in freezer paper, and puts them away. She tells me that I will be eating nothing else until it's all gone. Took about two months to choke it all down. Went without eating a lot of days. I was also grounded for over a year. But I sure learned a lot about "consequences."
Ms. Sådmån 3 years ago
why do some parents ground their children for over a year!?? My mother only ever grounded me for a week at MAX and I turned out fine.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
I never grounded my daughter. She really never gave me reason to and I would have considered it an extreme punishment. I know some kids are more difficult and I have no experience with them, so I should keep my peace, but in my experience, the kids with very strict, or too lax, parents rarely grow up to be balanced individuals.
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censorshipsucks 3 years ago
I find this "grounding" thing to be some sort of american punishment. In my early years occasionally we'd get a smack but that was it. Apart from that it would be proportional to whatever was wrong. E.g. you break something, you have to either fix it, clean it up, or replace it.
Jack Holt 3 years ago
Me too. Was never grounded, but usually hit or made to clean something. It wasn't that bad in comparison to a lot of the stories on here.
Load More Replies... Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
Awful. Growing up in poverty, where you couldn't afford to cook as it involved switching on the oven, MIGHT have influenced much of her behaviour and they might have been poor still. I come from that kind of background which is why I wonder. My mother tried to work but my father stopped her (controlling to say the least and daft as it kept us poorer). However, reasoned discussion should be a thing and if you can't do it, maybe think more deeply about having children. I knew we had little money and had to be careful, when it came to buying clothing it was very obvious. Children understand far more than people credit them with. You can have reasons for things, you can have mental hang ups and and problems but that shouldn't be visited on small kiddies who have no power or say over what their lives look like. That's very much based on my own experience and might be miles off for OPs situation of course - and still doesn't make her mom's behaviour okay in the slightest.
Brenda 2 years ago
My longest grounding was supposed to be 2 months and yes,I did deserve punishment. But after 2 weeks it was lifted because my mom told dad I wasn't the only one being punished. I've always remembered that. When I had to discipline my kids I always remembered that I would have to deal with them during it. Made for some creative punishments that I could live with. They also had ways to "earn time off" (take days off grounding) if it was appropriate. If you can't remember why you grounded them, then you shouldn't have done it.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
Perhaps. But then that should have been explained to the children if that was the case.
Load More Replies... Gemma jones 3 years ago
i got grounded for going to college too much, i went on a weekend lol i wouldnt mind but they never let me out any way so being grounded made no difference to my lack of a social life lol
Bruce Ferrier 2 years ago
Don't worry, you aren't an ungrateful bastard, your parents just are terrible
Pheline 3 years ago
Don’t make kids finish everything on their plate especially when it’s nasty- canned peas anyone?- and they didn’t choose it. Or especially ever. It was considered to be the height of comedy when I gagged on my "food" (or said I couldn’t learn to play that guitar built for an adult someone gave me, or skate on the Sears ice skates with thin leather boots and blades that weren’t sharpened after my sister finished with them) Also don’t choose what you buy based on what the older kids liked. Eldest daughter likes Colby & Swiss cheese? Ok. That’s what we always get. (Not even good stuff- lousy presliced for the Swiss) David likes Braunschweiger? Yup. Gotta keep buying that.
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I was never grounded, OF course, my Stepmom had beaten me and sliced my neck trying to kill me, but I survived and got adopted by my "mom" Nowadays I'm a caregiver to the same "mom" and aunt that adopted andtook care of me..... I wouldn't ever care for my stepmom like I am them
Are these responses reminding you of your own childhood, or are they teaching you what not to do with your own kids? Every parent goes about setting rules and expectations their own way, but I’m sure we can all agree that overly strict and arbitrary rules will not yield the best results… Keep upvoting the replies you find most ridiculous, and then let us know in the comments what the craziest rules your parents set for you were. And if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article highlighting things parents should stop teaching their kids, check out this story next.
#28
I had to write essays on tv shows that I wanted to watch, in order to have them unblocked by the parental controls. I remember writing a riveting piece on the educational and cultural benefit of Disney's That's So Raven. Also, I wasn't allowed to watch PG-13 movies, even after turning 13.
PattonPawter 2 years ago
Wikipedia and IMDB often have summaries of the shows.
Load More Replies... Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
I kinda like the idea of asking my child to write a short passage on WHY she should watch a show. [she's 9]
PattonPawter 2 years ago
Wikipedia and IMDB often have summaries of the shows.
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Stacey Rae 3 years ago
I had my daughter write two essays: 1) internet safety, and 2) risks of drug use. She is articulate and well informed
1.21Gigawatts?! 3 years ago
On the topic of internet safety, what do you guys think about saying your age? Like once a kid reach the point where you know how to avoid predators and stuff, do you think they should be allowed to be like “I’m 14 years old”?
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Okiedokie 3 years ago
I love writing essays. I wish my parents had let me do this, I'd have knocked it out of the park [maybe they knew that lol]. They just policed what we watched and listened to & didn't get a say.
That nerd Zoe ️🇺🇦️ 3 years ago
bro I watch stuff like Sweeney Todd with my parents a lot and I have since I was literally 11 lmao
#29
My dad wrote a whole manual on his rules. Most unreasonable was "you must tear the bread, you cannot use a knife to cut your bread."
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Tell your dad that cutting bread with a knife is terrific innovation. In fact, it's the greatest thing since ... well, sliced bread.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
Unless I am making a sandwich, and if I am having artisanal bread (what in italy we call simply "bread"). I like to rip it with my hands as well. But making a rule of it? That's nuts.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
Na dude, its a catholic thing, more extreme catholics believe that cutting or " stabbing " the bread is the same as cutting or stabbing Jesus. At my home we couldn't throw bread in the garbage, my Mother would go full mental, if you made a sandwish you would have to eat it, you couldn't throw any piece of it away.
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Jaybird3939 3 years ago
I always wonder what started these insane rules about food? I guess it's generational.
Julia Ford 2 years ago
That’s actually the “proper” way to do it. It’s extreme that your dad made a rule, should have just been suggested.
#30
No shoes on in the house under any circumstances. Was super uncomfortable when my brother's friend, who had prosethetic legs and always had shoes on, came over and didn't take his shoes off. Mom got really mad and confronted him.
LilliVB 3 years ago
Why WTF? It's really common in a lot of countries (Both in Asia and in Europe, including the one where I'm living in). Of course there can be exceptions if needed, but I think it's a pretty common hygienic rule
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Tamra 3 years ago
Some people commenting here aren't getting it. Shoes can provide much-needed stability to someone with a prosthetic leg, making walking safer and more comfortable. Yeah, I get not wearing shoes in the house, but this mother is placing the cleanliness of her house (and possibly her sense of control) over the consideration of someone who was missing two limbs. FFS.
Ms. Sådmån 3 years ago
As an asian, everyone I know takes off their shoes when entering the house. I don't really get the problem, who would want dirt all over their floors and carpet? The only exception would be if the person actually needs those shoes.
Jack Holt 3 years ago
Oh God that reminds me of this girl I used to know who was not allowed to use her wheelchair in the house. She was forced to crawl from room to room
Nandros M 3 years ago
This is stupid and extremely abusive. I wish to those who impose such rules to become in need of a wheelchair.
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Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 3 years ago
It's a prosthetic and shoes provide support more than the prosthetic. I have a foot that turns in and I'm getting surgery to straighten it out, but I have to wear shoes because walking on the side of my foot hurts ten times more than when I'm not wearing shoes. Shoes help with my stability and support for that foot, especially since it's gotten worse now that I'm older.
Rei 3 years ago
I am siding with Japan here on this issue. We walk into any room wih the same shoes on, that we had on while walking outside where dogs poop, people spit, and leave their crumbs, where there's dirt and debris and many things I won't name here, and now onto indoor floors, where we also sit, lay and play on the floor is kinda unhygienic if you think about it deeper. But the thing with the prosthetic leg is just ridiculous, since the shoe is needed for additional balance and support. I wonder how Japanese people handle such a situation. 🤔
ispeak catanese 3 years ago
Stupid woman could've provided him with slippers like my Japanese neighbors did for me.
Anna Losonczy 3 years ago (edited)
I live in Europe and shoes aren't allowed here either (I mean in my country it's definitely a rule). I don't understand why would anyone walk in their home with dirty shoes.
Tamra 3 years ago
Unless you *need* those shoes shoes to be able to walk with two prosthetic legs. What was the mother expecting this poor kid to do, be carried around by her kid? Crawl?
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Robert Beveridge 3 years ago
Lotta people in this thread have never gotten splinters in their feet while living in a crappy rental.
#31
Not allowed a key until I was 18 (or was it 16? Can't remember), yet nobody would be home once I got back from school so I would spend a lot of time 'hanging around' outside. I would usually be expected to be waiting outside, though sometimes it was forgotten this was a rule so I would go to the local library. Even once I was given a key, I wasn't allowed to stay home alone and had to vacate if they were. Once, I lost my key (turns out my cousin had it in his pocket but he forgot). My Stepdad said we would have to change the locks as 'someone might find them and rob the house' and when my Mum got home, she demanded I go and look for the keys again. I refused as I'd spent hours looking and knew I wouldn't be able to find them. She then demanded my phone, so I refused and sat on it. So then she gave me a long, hard look, picked up a box of trinkets on my bookcase and turned it over while staring at me. After I didn't react, she trashed more stuff in my room until I started to scream and shout at her, swearing (I didn't usually swear at her but the years of abuse meant I would burst into anger when she started on me), asking her what was wrong with her. While I screamed at her, she stopped and laughed at me incredulously, asking me in a calm voice when was wrong with ME. Then she said in a low threatening voice "find your f*****g keys" and left. So yeah, not the only ridiculous rule they had, but one that sticks out the most. Also, my bag was searched every morning before school and I wasn't allowed to wear short puffa jackets or jackets without arms. Edit: omg, I think this is my highest rated comment. Thanks guys!
Tara Moov 3 years ago
Reddit creeps me out. People post these shocking and heartbreaking things and then come back to comment on how many upvotes they're getting, sounding thrilled at the attention. It makes their experiences seem like a performance, even if they really happened.
Harry Hwt 3 years ago
I mean imagine all the attention they didn't get as children and young adults it feels good to get it out into the open and have people sympathize with your situation growing up
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Mario Strada 3 years ago
Unless you lose your keys along with your wallet, burglars are not going around trying every door in the neighborhood. Logic people. Logic.
Angie Falzarano 3 months ago
I was given a key for the back door my brother was given a key to the front door. Mom's excuse for that was in case we lost the key we could still get in. No it was more humiliate me by not having a key to the front door while golden child did.
Marci Rommal 2 years ago
I can beat this. My parents never let me have a key, even as an adult. If they weren't there to open the door, I needed to wait. I LIVED THERE AT THE TIME!
#32
My parent were pretty slack on everything except one thing No video games console ever, and no online games on the computer because that how you get virus and make the computer run slow .... So I was playing my mmorpg when they were sleeping, in a hidden file, in a file, in another file, in another file and I was changing the appereance of every file icon
Vorknkx 3 years ago
Sounds familiar. My folks were crazy about filling up hard drive space (and hard drives had low capacity back then), even though we didn't really need a lot of free space (no internet meant no downloading of big stuff). So sometimes I resorted to hiding extra games in concealed folders here and there, to avoid accusations of occupying too much disk space.
Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
I still can't stop regularly emptying the trash and deleting files and emails because I've only ever owned laptops and the early ones had such limited HD space.
Load More Replies... Moya Satterwhite 3 years ago
I’m now convinced that my parents must have been crazy, they never beat me or gave me outrageous punishments. They were nice ordinary people who loved their daughters.
Whitefox 3 years ago
Lol, my mom was rabid about on-line stuff. She was convinced it was going to make our phone bill be outrageous. My dad who knew better Let me log on when she was out of town for work. I had a 100ft phone cord because I was also not allowed a phone in my room (late 80's early 90's) That I was allowed to run from their phone in their bedroom to my room. Now, usually mom opened the garage when she came home and I could hear that (my room is on top of the garage) and could hurriedly retract the cord. One time she came in through the front door. I was doomed! She screamed at me from my door. I panicked and threw dad right under that bus. He was ready for this though and had her look back over the phone bills for the past few months and noticed that there really had been no change due to my logging on. 3 days later, I arrive home to hear the printer (dot matrix) going nuts. Turns out now mom is hooked because dad showed her how to find recipes on-line. She had printed out an entire ream!
Shang Robin 2 years ago
Hide them in applications. You can open them by showing package contents
Vix Spiderthrust 3 years ago
Exactly what several.generations said about television, and before that books, and before that the Ancient Greeks had a hissy fit about theatre...
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#33
I have too many to name growing up in an Asian household but the one that was the most embarrassing was I was not allowed to shave my legs or armpits and I hit puberty at an early age. So I had really hairy armpits and legs and was forced to wear shorts to gym class. I was so embarrassed about my legs that I would wear shorts with opaque pantyhose which just made the whole situation worse and was the butt of many jokes in middle school. My mom has apologized thousands of times since, but it still brings back crappy memories.
Diana 3 years ago
At least you got an apology. All the crappy things my parents did to me and not one apology ever.
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Whitefox 3 years ago
I was not supposed to start shaving until I was 16. I got hairy at 13. I snuck one of my moms razors and started at 13. No one figured it out till I was 15 and had given dad an indian rug burn and he tried to return the favor. They were mad, but at that point punishing me wouldn't have accomplished much. I was allowed to continue and was grounded from the phone for a week. I never really talked on the phone and they knew this.
Leslie Cully 3 years ago
Oh man! My mom taught me to shave my legs when I was 8!! They were very hairy with dark hair.
Mary Rogers 3 years ago
I had the same problem. My mother thought I was "too young" even though I was right on schedule with puberty. She just didn't want me to grow up.
Writer Panda (she/her) 3 years ago
I am insecure about my body hair, but my mom won't let me shave because when you shave the hair grows back coarse and dark. Don't worry my mom isn't abusive, she is actually very kind
MIKA NUTTER 3 years ago
Tell your mom that's a common myth :) Go ahead and Google it, shaving will not change hair color or anything else about it. It just makes the ends of the hairs feel stubbly at first. The hair itself isn't changed in texture or thickness.
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Jacqueline Williams 2 years ago
I used to steal my dads razor and shave cause I wasnt allowed to at age 12. I was a cheerleader and the whole team wpuld have had to wear nylons if one person didn't shave
#34
We could not listen to music with guitars in it. I will never forget the day my brother was listening to Sabbath Bloody Sabbath and my father took the radio and threw it through the window. Spent my childhood listening to Richard Marx and Michael Bolton. Thanks dad.
Ace 3 years ago
Guitars=Rock and Roll=Devil Music, I guess. If I had children I'd probably have to think of a better excuse to forbid them from listening to rap and hip-hop. It's really just about control and wanting them to only like the things you like.
Load More Replies... Talitha Jansen 3 years ago
What a violent man. I hope he got the help he clearly needed at the time.
Phyllis Turbin 3 years ago
Richard Marx and Michael Bolton music have guitars. They're also awesome!
#35
I wasn't allowed to cross any streets until middle school. Thus, my best friends were the ones who lived on the same block as me.
TheAquarius1978 3 years ago
My Mother hás a lot of detects, She beated the c**p out of me, sheltered me behind belief etc, but One thing She did right, with 11 years old i was allready taking the public buss to go to shcool Alone, i had to take One bus fromy house to the city center, and then another One from the city center to the school, and that taught me to be carefull and to manage myself ( FYI She followed me for a couple of days to check how i was managing, i passed the test )
Nunya Business 3 years ago
I must confess I am guilty of this with my kids. It's not them I don't trust, it's idiot drivers.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
When she was a toddler, my daughter started running down one of the very steep San Francisco hills. The moment we realized she was running downhill, I tore after her, realizing that the cross street was a busy artery (California St.). I was going so fast that by the time I reached her all I could do was shove her backwards between the parked cars and I ended up in the middle of traffic like an imbecile, dodging cars and getting my share of middle fingers and screeching brakes. I would have yelled at her, but I was so out of breath and scared shitless I just couldn't. I will never forget the horror of seeing her running away toward almost certain death. I still shudder at the memory.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
this makes sense if you see how people drive in our country. my kids are like 12-ish and I still walk them across the road for this reason.
girlsrock4ever 3 years ago
These types of accidents are very prevalent in with younger children, somewhat rare with preteens, and not present at all with teens. People become teens in 7th grade, so this one is only insane because mom was less protective. Thank you for reading my case study.
Lorna Lay 3 years ago
Omg, this! I wasn’t allowed to cross my own street until I was 15 and even then my mother would stand in the yard or at the window and watch ‘to make sure I made it.’ As if even after looking both ways and waiting until clear a speeding car would somehow appear out of thin air to run me down.
#36
No dragons, no fairies, no trolls, no witches or magic. No holidays- no eating the holiday candies and cupcakes at school or even in those packages. No saying the pledge of allegiance. No dating until 18, which was meant for marriage and had to be with a chaperone. No "worldly" friends over. No loving my grandma too much because she wasn't going to 'paradise' with us.. I could go on. TL;DR my mom was a strict Jehovah's Witness who followed all the rules to a T.
Janie Mack 3 years ago
There must have been a character limit because this poster missed a lot. No birthdays, no Halloween, no smurfs, and...oh yeah, no blood transfusions. Ah, memories.
FABULOUS1 3 years ago
I have a couple of friends who we all grew up in a JW household, and most of the stories are the same as this. I remember clearly not being able to do the pledge of allegiance and not being able to celebrate with the other children at school for holidays. My mother freaked out when I asked to be a witch one Halloween.
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Iirc Jesus is supposed to have said "come to me" , those idiots changed it into "force your kids towards me"
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
My father-in-law is a strict Jehovahs Witness as well. He likes to call me a pagan witch, which I take as a compliment. I even have a separate shelf on one of my bookcases devoted specifically to paganism and Wiccan just to irritate him. It's fun. I'm apparently the evil woman who led his children off the path and started with his oldest son. All 4 of his kids were so far away from that religion that I cannot take credit. I'm just convenient as a scapegoat.
corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
My cousins mom wouldn't let them read or watch Harry Potter because of the 'witchcraft'... We're mormon...
Bad Alchemy 3 years ago
Oh yeah, didn't need to read the last line before knowing the poor kid grew up LDS. That sux.
#37
Oh god. I wasn't allowed to go out, like ever. If I was gonna hang out with someone it had to be on the weekend planned at least a week ahead, and my parents had to meet their parents and drive me there. They would come get me before the sun went down. Not a rule, but if I got up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night or was reading because I couldn't sleep, my mom would come screaming up the stairs "WHY ARE YOU UP??" And sometimes hit me. I wasn't allowed to close the door in my room. There's more but that's what I can think of right now. Mostly my mother would just yell about everything.
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
It would be a sooo much better world if folks like that had to pass some tests before being able to have kids
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
Who do you trust enough to create, administer, and grade the test? Imagine if it was the self-proclaimed "Christian" right wing.
Load More Replies... #38
My stepmom decided that I was using too much shampoo, she would get a little medicine cup before my shower and pour the designated amount into it. It wasn't ever enough becuase I had hair down to my butt. I also wasn't allowed to use conditioner. Screw her.
Trudi Morris 3 years ago
Being a stepmum has no bearing on this. Being a despicable human does
Load More Replies... LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
My parents did this too. I had long THICK hair. I remember being very annoyed once by this and I poured the entire bottle out. It was worth it.
#39
Individuality was almost a cardinal sin in my parents house. You wear what they like. You eat what they like. You do what they like. You DO NOT under ANY circumstances act like a human being with hopes, dreams, and opinions.
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
Kinda like the Boredpanda comments section on an average day then. (Low hanging fruit, couldn't resist)
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Aileen Grist 3 years ago
My father told me that I didn't get opinions or choices until I was paying my own way. The day I started work I was expected to make every decision unaided although I'd never been taught any thing about how you make a decision - it took me years to learn how to handle money
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
Was I the one who wrote this? I remember one time during my rebellious phase I came home and found all my "unapproved clothes" gone, as well as a box of keepsakes I had. I started eating my own food from the cafeteria in high school the moment I entered it, paying with allowance and birthday money just so I could develop my own tastes. I'm 35 and my parents wonder why the only family member ill talk to regularly is my 3 year old nephew.
#40
I was/am not allowed to do the following: use the washing machine, wash the dishes, pull the weeds, vacuum outside of my room, I must ask to use the vacuum, I can't cook a meal, I can't have the remote, I get instructed on how to use the microwave that I've been using for years and if I ask where we are going I get told " out" and I have to dress in jeans, a shirt and running shoes no matter how hot because he doesn't like shorts. and no jacket no matter how cold.
#41
I was from a large family and discipline was very strict. If myself or one of my siblings broke one of the major rules, my parents would hold a 'Truth Session'. All the children would be brought to my Dad's study where the guilty party would be given an opportunity to confess. If nobody came forward, we would be hit in turn in order of ascending age. The eldest four were hit with a sewer rod while, in deference to their age, the youngest ones would get a whack of a bamboo stick. A sewer rod is basically a four foot long flexible rubber rod, around an inch thick and with a metal cap. It would leave the most remarkable welts. Horrendous things really. Anyway, this would continue until someone admitted their 'guilt'. At that point they would receive the blows that everyone else had received to that point. So that was awful. I fully acknowledge that. I'm under no illusions. However, that wasn't the actual unreasonableness. No, the unreasonable part was that the person who 'caused' the Truth Session didn't always receive the accrued punishment owed for having their siblings beaten. Sometimes they could just be let go making their siblings HATE them for causing pain to them. There'd be no explanation. The study door would be opened and we'd all be told to leave. That meant you could be rewarded for holding out and avoiding the punishment you'd definitely get if you admitted it at the beginning. My parents now tell fun stories about how when I was a child and I'd done something wrong, I'd always begin with, 'let me tell you my story.' 'Haha' they chortle at my childish phrasing while I recall the terror that such an approach was meant to stave off.
Kitty Koshkin 3 years ago
As other people have said already, PEOPLE SHOULD NEED A PARENTING LICENCE!!!
Grey Blue 3 years ago
This reminds me of two stories from my childhood. I was about 4 years old, and had 2 older siblings (my brother was 6 and my sister was almost 11). Now I was a very quiet, sweet, overly obedient child. The only time I got into trouble as if my siblings convinced me to do something they knew we weren’t supposed to do. They knew I’d never tell on them, because I was afraid of them. Anyway one day my mother’s boyfriend called us three kids into the kitchen. Someone had carved an X on top of the refrigerator (the freezer part). Now, I was too small to reach it, but could have done it had I stood on a chair. Obviously, I didn’t do it though, and in this instance I didn’t know whether my brother or sister did it (even if I did, I wouldn’t have told). Since no one would come out and confess, my mom’s boyfriend decided to take turns hitting us with this thick leather belt, until I couldn’t take it anymore. I said it was me (he knew it wasn’t, but thought I was covering for my siblings).
Grey Blue 3 years ago
Then to add insult to injury, I was grounded for the day as well. This was the beginning of the summer, and being grounded meant that you only left the bedroom for meals and to use the bathroom. No tv, no radio, no phone (which I didn’t care about, who the hell was I calling at 4yrs old?) Now this next event is even more screwed up, but I didn’t realize it until I was older. Same summer, different week someone had done something (obviously wasn’t me) but my mom’s boyfriend gave us a choice. A “whooping” with that belt or be grounded for a week. I told you what grounding consisted of in our household. My siblings both decided to be grounded for a week. I decided to take the “whooping”. My sibs laughed at me, calling me stupid and whatnot while boyfriend gets the belt. They get sent to their room, I got beaten for maybe a full minute. Couldn’t sit comfortably for a few hours. But the look on their faces while they watched me through the window for that week was worth it to me.
Load More Replies... #42
I wasnt allowed to shrug, or say "I don't know"
if anything tech related went wrong, it was assumed that i broke it on purpose, even if the only reason anyone knew it was broken is because I was trying to fix it.
Birthday parties were a no go, christmas was a no go, any party whatsoever was a no go
Jon Steensen 3 years ago
Oh, but people who don't know what they are doing but pretend to do so are some of the most dangerous folks out there. The world is big, and it is impossible to know everything about everything, so sometimes an "I don't know" is the most rational thing to say rather than causing a mess trying to do something you simply can't.
#43
I refused to greet my sister's new boyfriend with more than a, "Sup?" so later that night my mom Hulk-smashed my laptop, double-fist style.
#44
If my father yelled up the stairs to me, I wasn't allowed to yell back "what?". Instead I would have to come down the stairs to see what he wanted... even if it was just to tell me something or ask a question
Pink kitty 3 years ago
If it's good enough for the goose it's good enough for the gander. Why can Dad yell through the house but the kid can't
Rosie Hamilton 3 years ago
Double standards. Father could have gone up the stairs to talk to the child. Most of us learn very well by example. Set good ones.
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Fluffy Griffin 3 years ago
So it's the opposite at my house. I'll be downstairs doing laundry and the kids will be at the top yelling "MOM" and then trying to have a full on yelling conversation. Like, walk down the stairs and just talk to me, you lazy turd. (Said with all loving sincerity)
Lara Verne 3 years ago
My father used to do this. I had to go upstairs to see what he wanted. Sometimes he was just too lazy to stand up and turn off lights in his room.
#45
My parents were slack, my best friends parents were so strict. She would escape to my house for freedom. 12th grade. Prom. Her parents allowed her to go to prom but said she wasn't allowed to dance. We all went to prom, had fun dancing. Until she saw her parents standing at the back watching. She then moved out for university. After her first year, she came home to work for the summer. She had been on her own for a year and supporting herself and her parents gave her a 9pm curfew. She spent a lot of time at my house that summer. She was married by the next summer and didn't have to deal with it. Edit: this is a small selection of the intense upbringing my friend went through. Tiny even.
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Poor kid : sounds like she got married just to get away from her parents.
#46
My moms curfew was 7pm and her brothers was 12am. Her brother was about two years younger than her and my Grandaddy's logic was that "Girls get themselves into more trouble than boys." My poor mother only ever attended church functions for fun until she graduated from high school.
Mandy Randell 2 years ago
My partner tried this with our kids. It didn't end well for him. Both sexes are treated equally now.
Load More Replies... #47
In the 1970s, my extremely conservative Mormon mother would take the masks from out grocery-store plastic Halloween costumes (those wretched ones with the thin elastic string to hold them on) and widen they eye holes with scissors as much as she could without destroying the mask. When we asked why this was necessary, she informed us that "in our church, we don't like masks because it was a group of masked men who murdered Brother Joseph (Smith). So we want to be able to see your face clearly enough even with your Halloween masks on." Totally pointless and ineffectual dogmatism, except that whatever that is was never any kind of LDS dogma.
Vorknkx 3 years ago
Good thing Joseph Smith didn't drown, or else they'd probably forbid drinking water!
Harry Hwt 3 years ago
Probably would save a lot of people because of the Darwin award
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Carter Allen 3 years ago
But, the people who murdered Joseph Smith didn't wear masks, this makes no sense.
aZZy_d3Lta 3 years ago
yeah, they had no masks, they just came in and shot them.
Load More Replies... corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
Nowhere did it say the men were masked. He and his brother Hyrum were killed by a mob...
#48
Long list. Dad is a Baptist preacher. A few of the ones I hated most: Could only listen to gospel music. (No country, rap, pop, etc.) No Harry Potter. (Witchcraft is of the Devil.) No staying at friends' houses on Saturdays. Church was on Sunday. No long hair or spiky hair. No Spring break trips. Even after I moved out, I had to endure advice and lectures about how going on these trips hurt my testimony. We weren't even drinking; just wanted to go to the beach.
censorshipsucks 3 years ago
lol witchcraft you mean like multiplying food, raising the dead, converting water to wine, and walking on water? that kind of witchcraft?
Blazej Kowalczyk 3 years ago (edited)
No no - these are miracles, not witchcraft, you see! You may ask, what's the difference? Well, miracles come from God and witchcraft comes from the devil. How do you know the difference? You just do! Amy questions? /S
Load More Replies... FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Shame on him. Any preacher I respect is against censorship or forcing someone to do stuff against their will. Iirc Jesus is supposed to have said "come to me" and not "force your kids to me"
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
He also said "...go and make disciples of all nations...". I think that includes their own kids. These people might be taking it to a weird extreme, but I don't think the Bible gets a pass on this, and a lot of Christians would agree it's of the utmost importance to 'train your children in the way they should go' (brainwash them).
Load More Replies... #49
A friend of mine wasn't allowed to wear shorts to school unless it was already over 80 degrees when she had to leave. School started at 7:40 AM so this almost never happened even on days when it reached over 90 mid day. The school didn't have air conditioning.
Helen Waight 3 years ago
The way some people think that a girl or woman’s dress is somehow going to cause men to attack them and is therefore we should cover up as much as possible is just bizarre. I had to wear long skirts at school - we had no other options - and summer was utter hell.
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
Could not agree more : victim-blaming is a cowardly way to go. ( I used cowardly because of censorship. Wich I don't like either.)
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#50
Well, I pretty much couldn't do anything at all. I wasn't even allowed to put posters on my wall. I'm not sure whether it was to protect the wall or some other silly reason. All I wanted to put up was a cute poster of a cuddly seal. So I ended up sticking it behind my door. My dad once told me that he was going to 'ground' me due to my poor performance in school. So I simply responded with, 'go ahead, ground me. It's not like I go anywhere anyway.' His dead silence after that was an acknowledgement that he knew I had a point there. My radio was taken away during exams. Because I had to 'concentrate'. THE RADIO HELPED ME CONCENTRATE.
Sanchez Vasile 3 years ago (edited)
mine were more subtle. like someone was teaching them. They forbade most of the behaviors in the article, but "stimulated" some and even mocked me when I wasn't able to do them, like going out. But the truth was revealed when I was out - curfews, detailed interrogations, talk with others about me etc.; also, no praising despite my good results, only constant pressure; i wasn't so soft before that, I definitely became after. my brother, that was to continue the family's tradition, had none of these: swearing from 5 years old, mingling with the kids that were forbidden to me, bad marks, destroying things - no consequences!
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Yikes. I hope you are far, FAR away from that 'family' now.
Load More Replies... Bruce Ferrier 2 years ago
The last part is like turning off your internet in online classes so you can't play games
#51
Once got electronic access taken away because I don't "Share myself." Jokes on them I'm still a recluse, can't fix what ain't broken.
Psycho Cat 3 years ago
share yourself? Am I understanding this correctly? I sure hope I'm not.
Scott Andrews 3 years ago
Because the OP said they're still a recluse, I think they meant that they lost all the things like iPads and phones that were making them reclusive, hiding away in their bedroom. I also hope they weren't meaning it the way that you thought they might be.
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#52
I was not allowed to use the money cheat on Sims growing up because that's not how the 'real world' works. I used the cheat once and couldn't explain where all the money I had came from so I was grounded and had Sims taken away.
Ian Conelley 3 years ago
It actually does work in the real world, but only if you're born rich like Elon Musk, and your parents own an emerald mine in apartheid South Africa.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
As the line from Gravity Falls goes, "Pacifica's rich - she's cheating at *life*."
Load More Replies... Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
You play video games to *escape* from how boring, painful and inconvenient the real world is, FFS. Way to miss the point.
FakeOptimist 3 years ago
So they think having money doesn't give you an advantage in the real world ???? Like a better education, business opportunities, lawyers if you get into trouble....
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 3 years ago
uhhhh... money cheating is PRECISELY how the real world works. If "work" was how you got money, everyone in africa would be a millionaire.
#53
I have a ton. One was that I had to always give 24 hours notice if I wasn't going to be home for dinner any night of the week. Because you know, dinner plans are never made the day of...this lasted until I moved out when I was 19. I thought that would get better, but it actually became worse. My sister and I go to dinner to our parents every Sunday, and now they need 72 hours notice if we're not going to be there. Also had 10pm curfew every day of the week until I moved out. Sleeping in was never a thing, 9am wake-up call otherwise. Parents had sensors on our doors so they could tell if we left our rooms in the night. Cameras covering every inch of outside. We weren't allowed to use the bathrooms after midnight. My stepmother came storming out of her room one night when I went to the bathroom at 230am because, you know, sometimes you wake up and need to go and I was sick of peeing in a bottle because of their rule. She stormed out and confronted me and looked like she was about to hit me. I said 'I f*****g dare you' as I was ready to hit her back. So many. Edit: spelling Edit 2: at one point, they cut off power to our rooms at 10:00pm every single night. This lasted less than a month, but still happened.
#54
"You cant have privacy" literally quoted from my dad
Myriah Fields 3 years ago
I am 17 and my dad just said "your future is up to me" I have no phone and no access to personal email to apply for college bc he said no :(
indiecognition 3 years ago
That sounds difficult. Do you have a school counselor, or someone in a library who could help?
Load More Replies... #55
30 mins of internet time a day and 99% of the time, that was supervised--as in mom looking over my shoulder and commenting on conversations. We had webtv (RIP) & when they weren't home, they would literally lock the keyboard in a toolbox. My sis and I could never have friends stay over because "the house is a mess." No amount of cleaning satisfied mom, because the real reason was she wanted to be able to fight with my dad at-will.
#56
"Even if I'm wrong, I'm right." This caused a lot of confusion on my part and rage on theirs. I got my head knocked through a cabinet door for eating a grape wrong, and even more trouble when I cried. Edit: Thanks dude, for the gold, I cheesed too dang hard. In short, yes I still see my parents regularly. I'm at their house with my daughter. Yes, I've always known they were kinda f****d off in the brain, I've learned to take no s**t though, my husband has been there since we were 16, and I attribute my take no shitness to him.
Robert McKenzie 3 years ago
How can you possibly eat a grape incorrectly? Ludicrous. If we need a licence to drive, why don't parents need a licence to have kids?
#57
My mum makes me and my siblings pray even though she never prays. It's messed up. She cooks and cleans but a lot of her day is spent back biting about people on the phone with my auntie. Why the f**k should we be devout Muslims when you don't follow the five pillars and you commit sin on a daily basis? And when I point it out, I'm the one who needs to shut up. Total BS. The worst human beings are the ones who aren't self aware. My mother is the worst human being I have ever met. She plays the victim so she she can find a perpetrator. All my parents have taught me is how I shouldn't conduct myself. That's the only bright side to this.
Deborah Stuart 3 years ago
I hope you leave this kind of toxicity behind and NEVER look back! Good luck if you can’t. I feel for you!!!
Sue User 3 years ago
Wth ? Never diminish someones suffering by saying c**p like this.
Load More Replies... #58
Where do I start? Pretty sure my dad was a psychopath. There were unwritten rules with him that he'd make up on the spot, so my siblings and I never messed with him. I didn't ask him for anything ever because you wouldn't get it and he'd beat the s**t out of you for daring to ask him. That meant no school trips, no gifts, no birthdays, basically none of the stuff other kids had.
#59
Not my parents, but my best friend's parents were insanely strict growing up. When we were pre teens and sleepovers were all the rage, if we wanted to have one (we literally lived on the same street, it's a 2 minute walk between our parents' houses), we had to plan it at least a month in advance, if not more. Even then for whatever reason her parents would only agree to them rarely, so really we'd only get to have like 2-3 a year. One time I started getting sick at school on a Friday and we had planned a sleepover (ages ago as usual) for that night. I was feeling absolutely awful but tried my best to stay at school because obviously if I went home sick the sleepover would be called off. Made it to lunch and then the teacher called me over and said I was white as a ghost and burning up and had to go home. My best friend and I were devastated. Sad day.
#60
I was called at a friend's house at 11 PM at night because I left 2 T-Shirts slung over the chair in my room vs. hanging them in my closet. I had to go back to my house and then I was grounded for a week. Upon getting home, my mother had gone through my entire room and tossed every item out of my dresser. She claimed they were messily put in the dresser.... Fun stuff.
Rens 3 years ago
My stepfather would regularly go through all my clothes and toss them on the floor, including my underwear and my sanitary products. This was because my drawers inside my wardrobe were "untidy".
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I hope that he has to lick a dirty diaper for a month.
Load More Replies... Sanchez Vasile 3 years ago
Huge humiliating scandal for locking the cars' doors, the empty luggage carrier at the back, a supplemental metal mask they put on it but not the third, bicycle chain that they also put it there. No consequences for my brother who was entrusted to check the oil engine, even if he didn't have a driver license, and forgot to put the lid back, causing a collision.
#61
I had a friend who wasn't allowed to say the word "stupid," and tried to report me to the teacher when I said it. Teacher yelled at me and then told me it was okay in private and "not to say it around that one kid." Nice guy, though, just had a helicopter mom. EDIT: Thanks for all the support. For anyone who thinks I'm s******g on the guy, let me remind you he was a very close friend. I eventually caught onto the concept of a helicopter mom thanks to this kid, so I just rolled with all the weird things his mom made him do. I also remember he would complain about the school lunch because it was too unhealthy.
Dave Forster 3 years ago
Our Daughters class has decreed that she isn't allowed to say the word stupid, she has to use the word 'silly' I told her that, that was stupid! And set down a new rule, things can be stupid (stupid TV, Stupid floor, whatever) but calling another person was stupid and if they were in fact doing stupid/silly things just to walk away...so lets see how that goes!
#62
I'm a few months away from turning 18 and moving out. I'm still not allowed to sleep in the same room as my phone
Becky Samuel 3 years ago
Control freak parents, but not actually a bad habit to get into. A few hours of downtime from phones and tablets every day is healthy.
Wesley Humphreys 3 years ago
The blue light messes with melatonin production, which can detriment the sleep schedule
Load More Replies... #63
no sneezing or yawning b/w 1230pm and 430pm
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
I got in trouble at school for yawning once, just because the teacher thought I was faking it because we were all waiting for another child to give an answer and I was supposedly mocking them. I was in grade 2 and the quietest kid in the class!
#64
I'm sure plenty of you can relate: no sleepovers, no matter what age you are, and if you want to hang out: >"Where? When? What time? With whom? Why? What will you do? What're their phone numbers? Dads' numbers? Moms' numbers? How long? Names? Are they good kids? How do I know? Do I know them? What are their grades? Do they get in trouble often? What type of parents do they have?"
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
My mom and dad ask everything up till 'Names?'. They also ask 'Do I know them?'
Mandy Randell 2 years ago
Personally I think these kinds of questions should be asked. If someone new is staying at mine that my kids have asked to have over I always ask for the parents contact details so I can let them know where exactly I live. I also need to know if the kid has any allergies and if the restrict any kind of food/drink. (sensible stuff like no coffee for a 12 year old I enforce. I don't if the parents say no sweets etc) chatting to the parents this way also gives me some insight into the kids' life so I can offer help if I get the feeling they may need someone to reach out and offer.
#65
We had to duck when opening the door for strangers just in case they were holding a gun at our head-level
Jennifer Crompton 3 years ago
Can you imagine the reactions of the "strangers" on the other side of the door?!? "Hello crouching human" lol
#66
This one was the most ridiculous- I wasn't allowed to leave the coffee pot out. My mother had a really nice espresso machine that I could never master the art of using, so we had an ancient mr. Coffee machine that I would use. My mother would get super irritated if I left the machine on the counter after I was done using it. My best friends can remember plenty of times my mother would do that whisper yell trick "labeille87 what is that coffee pot doing out?" Once she was actually so pissed about the coffee pot being left out she grounded me for a week. The kicker to the whole thing was once I moved out, I came home to visit and there's my mom's nice espresso machine and a brand new mr. Coffee on the kitchen counter. I turned to my mother "what is that doing on the counter?" My mom "oh your dad bought a new mr. Coffee and it's not nearly as ugly the old one." Her whole reason for getting pissed off for years was because the old one was UGLY.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
While I understand your point, parents should lead by example. The mom in this case was being hypocritical: a "do what I say, not what I do" situation. PSA to Pandas: DO NOT DOWNVOTE PEOPLE YOU DISAGREE WITH. DOWNVOTES GET THAT USER BANNED WITHOUT NOTICE.
Load More Replies... #67
I couldn't drink water from my bathroom. My bathroom genuinely had colder water and the best water in the house. Mom got suspicious when I'd leave to my bathroom for a few seconds every few minutes. I don't know what she possibly thought I was doing, but no more bathroom water. I had to drink lukewarm peasant water like the rest of my family.
Penny Fan 3 years ago
Not unreasonable in some places. In the UK only the kitchen cold water runs from the mains. bathroom water is from a tank (filled from the mains) but it's been standing, can become tainted and in older systems, isn't filtered at all.
DuchessDegu 3 years ago
Ok but then explain to the kid why it's not safe, not just forbid them from drinking it
Load More Replies... #68
There were a lot but the most ridiculous one to me was they didn't want me volunteering during high school. I was visiting the elderly and they said it was too dangerous to be around strangers like that and the time was taking away from my studies. Most extra curriculars I wanted to do they had a huge problem with but it didn't hit me how absurd it was until it was about senior citizens.
#69
When I think back on it, there weren't really any unreasonable standing rules. More like every now and then my parents would explode on something minor to make up for the lack of parenting. I love my parents, but they don't seem to get the idea that not being around much f****d their kids up a bit. I was *extremely* shy and withdrawn, and my brother is a narcissist. It would take quite a few paragraphs to explain, but suffice to say their lack of checks and balances on him, and my family's doting on him legitimized his belief that everything revolves around him. On the other hand, nobody paid attention to me, which is partially on me. I'm quite happy to fade into the background in any situation. I hate attention. Maybe cause I didn't get any when I was young and when I did it felt weird? I don't really know. But yeah, I specifically remember the few times where my dad was shouting in anger at me, and neither made any sense. Once, he told us, during the middle of summer, when we were about 13 and 15, not to go outside while he was out. Mind you, we were 13 and 15, and literally every single day during the summer, no one was home, and we were outside unsupervised all f*****g day. So my brother was like 'rules don't apply to me' and goes outside. Dad came home, starts screaming at him, then starts getting pissed at me and whacks me for not stopping him. At the time, dude was like twice my size, and no one could tell him s**t, so... Another time, on my birthday, all I wanted was a remote controlled car. So I got one. Brother proceeds to take it out while I'm not there. Dumbass tries to control it and ride a bike at the same time, runs it over and breaks it. Puts it back, doesn't tell anyone. I find it, get pissed, dad of course thinks I'm lying to cover my own a*s, and I get whacked a bit. Brother thought it was funny. Instead of parenting, dad went the easy route, assigned blame and punishment, went back to doing whatever the hell it was he was doing. Fast forward 20+ years. Brother is rapidly heading for a divorce that he just can't believe is his fault. Haven't said a word to him in maybe 3 years? Honestly lost track. I can't talk to him because he'll blame random bad s**t that happened to him on something I or my best friend did like 25 years ago. Dad is disabled, lays around all day, can't understand why no one comes to visit. Mom (love her to death, but she's an idiot) makes excuses for both of them. I used to idolize my father and I glossed over a lot. Been thinking a lot about him lately and coming to terms with the fact that he's an a*****e, much like my brother. Which sucks, but the truth is the best policy. TL;DR: The lack of consistent rules was, for me anyway, worse than a strict environment.
Sanchez Vasile 3 years ago (edited)
And now imagine 3 narcissists instead of one, working together and immersed in an entire narcissist society that loved snitching and preyed upon victims offered by the families.
Robert McKenzie 3 years ago
"The lack of consistent rules was ... worse than a strict environment." Excellent point! Kids can cope with consistent boundaries, even if unfair, but a constantly shifting environment can ruin you.
Deborah Stuart 3 years ago
So sorry for your personal story. I think you should speak to him now to explain how YOUR world was like in your eyes. If a parent passes away without him knowing how you feel, you’ll always resent him. Even if he doesn’t agree, at least he’ll know, and your mam
#70
No dating till marriage.
#71
My dad wouldn't let me use straws because he said it could cut through my tongue or cheek like a hole punch. He also got mad at me when I said "What the.. ?" when I was 11. Didn't even finish with anything, just "What the... ?"
#72
Currently on holiday in Japan...have to message every hour to update them on what I am doing
Gemma jones 3 years ago
god my mom had to do that with my dad, such a door mat, i told her to tell him to jog on but she never would stand up to him, i did, never touched me again
Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
How on Earth would they enforce this silly rule if you decided not to comply?
IDK_Something 3 years ago
Not complying leads to bigger, worse abuse, usually.
Load More Replies... #73
No TV or rock music. Both were of the Devil. I did watch some TV when at a friends house and I mostly listened to the music I liked but I did miss out on some TV series that my friends talked about.
T. Unnamable 3 years ago
In the early 60s my uncle wouldn't let his teenage daughters listen to that "N-word" music. On the radio it wasn't much of a problem but he flipped when he saw black faces on TV.
#74
My wife's parents are still strict and it's annoying whenever we visit. You're not allowed to sleep in even if you're off work and you can't lounge around in your PJs and have to be fully dressed in the morning, again, even if you don't work. S**t doesn't make sense. Edit: The majority of people replying have been asking why we put up with it. Well, we barely stay over. It's usually just holidays so it's not like it's all the time. It was more prevalent when my wife still lived there when we first met. We just go along with it to stay on their good side as they help us out when we need it.
#75
Not my parents, but my highschool friend had very strict parents. This was shortly after 9/11 and the anthrax scare. It was halloween evening and a group of us were supposed to head out and light fireworks around the neighbourhood. Well, my friend wasn't allowed to come out that night because his mom was worried about terrorists bombing our city with anthrax. We live in Canada.
Sleepy children love Moon 3 years ago
I mean, the scary terrorists might try to come and bomb you guys, deciding they're bored with us in the US. /s
#76
Was only allowed 45 minutes of computer time daily. If anything happened to the computer, it was *the video games* fault, not the shady links my mom still clicks on 14 years later. Edit: I'm getting a lot of cool responses, but I can understand where my parents were coming from. I'm originally from Poland, which as a lot of people know was a communist country for a while. Everything was heavily regulated for quite some time. Even after '91, the "practices" were still common up until ~2003 (at least in the area I'm from), so I got a chance to experience "mild" communism, though I was a bit young to grasp politics. Coming to the U.S, they felt they had to regulate everything in the household, just because that's how it was since they were born. Since then, they've really cut back and for the most part, they're pretty relaxed about everything, thought I feel like I got the short end of the stick. Growing up, I wasn't allowed to hang out outside of school(even during high school) and in High School I wasn't allowed to date so my social experience was pretty pathetic to say the least. After graduating, my parents saw "no real threat from letting people hang out or date" so my brother got a smooth ride through high school. It's better now, although I still have issues meeting new people. I've kept a small circle of 2-3 friends that I talk to, but hopefully that changes next year if I move into NYC for school. --- At least I still have Runescape. :D
#77
No matter how right you are even if they are just flat out wrong they're always going to be correct just because they're you're parents Source: Filipino Parents
#78
I think it was when I came home for summer break during university and they tried to reimpose their 11pm curfew... That was the last summer. Edit: Thanks for being nitpicky :) That was pretty amateur haha
#79
My siblings had to eat 10 olives every day at dinner. I am the youngest so I guess my dad forgot about that rule.
OneHappyPuppy 3 years ago
Greek parents? My FIL used to pay my husband when he was a kid for every eaten olive. My MIL ate them and my husband just showed his dad the seeds. They joke about it to this day
#80
I could watch the Fairly Odd Parents, but not Wizards of Waverly Place because it featured magic. Maybe they thought that because Fairly Odd Parents was a cartoon, it was obviously fake? I don't know. I still watched every show they didn't let me watch when they weren't in the room.
#81
I changed my mind, I guess my parents weren’t so bad Edit: Wow, went for a hike today out of cell service and returned to 9k karma and 30+ comments. Since a couple people asked what I was going to say: It sounds pretty lame now compared to the rest of this thread, but I’ll explain a few. We weren’t allowed to swim in rivers, we were rarely allowed to go to friends’ houses unless the parents knew each other, we weren’t allowed to go anywhere on our own until we could drive (which was 18 for me), and just the usual strict-parent pushing to get all A’s.
corgiobsessed00 2 years ago
the river thing is odd, but understandable. Sounds similar to my parents except they gave up on straight A's after both my older siblings failed out of high school and had to get their GED's.
#82
Indian Parents, I could stay at a sleepover until 2am, but couldn't actually sleep at that persons house LOL
#83
Lots but the most annoying one was 1 hour of electronics a day. My parents always used to take away the cords to the machine when they would leave the house and so one time my dad went to rip out the cords like usual but he ended up taking the Wii cords instead of the Playstation. I was in awe that he couldn't make the distinction between the device that was black,lit up, and making noise and the idle white machine...
#84
Not my parents but I had a friend who got it pretty bad: "If you want to play for 1 hour, you have to also practice piano for 1 hour." These and other such rules were posted on his bedroom door.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
May I just: *sits my toddler cousin down next to piano, takes friend out, and locks parents in*
What do you think ?
Alexandra Davis 3 years ago
This post makes me want to go and visit my parents and hug and thank them for not only letting me have a normal childhood but a great and fun childhood! Most of these posts make me wonder why these people even had children as they obviously didn't love/ enjoy/ want them! Half are abusive and it breaks my heart knowing that kids grew up/ are growing up with parents like this. So many made me so angry or upset that I couldn't carry on reading for a few minutes.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Exactly what I was thinking! I feel SO lucky to have had the parents I had. They loved and wanted me and treated me like a human being with healthy boundaries and also the freedom to be my own person. This whole article was depressing. :(
Load More Replies... Rens 3 years ago
I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school because I could not tolerate living at home anymore. My stepfather used to walk into my bedroom when I was dressing and I wasn't allowed to have my door closed; he would walk in while I was taking shower; we had a jacuzzi and I was not allowed to wear a swimsuit I had to be naked as everybody else was too; the last time I swim in our own swimming pool he literally told my swimsuit of my body I was 15 at the time, I never used the pool again. I live very far from school, both high school and primary school, I had to take the bus home and wait outside because I was never allowed to have a key. I had two younger brother's who had lots of activities and my mother would often remember to pick them up from school but forget to pick me up from school (80's, before mobile phones) and I'd be waiting at school until my parents got home and realised I wasn't there, usually 5 p.m. or so. I never had friends over because I lived too far away, and because the house was always such a mess I never wanted friends over anyway. I was always expected to be responsible for my two younger brothers, including their bad behaviour, because I was always supposed to set a "good example". Because of undiagnosed dyslexia and ASD, I really had a difficult time at school and would get punished because I couldn't get good grades. I was still given beatings on my bare backside with a shoe until I left home. Years later my mother found out at my stepfather hedon unhealthy interest in young girls. He died 4 years ago and I've never been happier.
Pam 3 years ago
I’m so sorry you had a creep for a step father. Your mom was okay with the nudity and having to get dressed with the door open? Congratulations on his death.
Load More Replies...
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Then some of these same parents wonder why their adult children want nothing to do with them.
Gemma jones 3 years ago
cant have a double bed ( i had the same bed since i was 12 i was in my 20s and single) as only unmarried sluts have double beds, no internet, no boys, no computer, not allowed driving lessons, not allowed holidays as i didnt deserve it, not allowed to cook when i got home late as we are not a hotel, they would ration the loo paper, they made a map of the house and the rooms i am allowed in, the list is endless glad i finally got out
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
My mum once ripped out a page of my book and made me start my homework all over again because she "couldn't read my scrawl" Shockingly my handwriting never improved. I was also banned from watching Adventure Time because it was "too inappropriate for children". I always thought that was weird
Mister Dave 3 years ago
This one pisses me off so much. I got to the third entry and had to stop.
Hey! 3 years ago
I couldn't finish. All these are some sort of abuse. These are not "absurd", they are downright abusive one way or the other. Man, we had rules, and I had rules when the kids were home, but nothing like this. We had a schedule to see who was doing what that week (meal, cleaning, outings, etc.), of course bedtimes and curfews but nothing drastic. One big rule we had was that we'd knock and wait for an invitation before going into a room with the door closed (we'd stay in the hall and talk if opened).
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
There were no rules in my house, just screaming. You'd get screamed at for doing something one day, and you'd get screamed at for NOT doing the same thing the next day. It was completely random and crazy-making. I would get screamed at for cooking myself eggs in the morning, because it made the house smell like food. Making the house smell like food was a big one. I was once screamed at for putting rosemary on the supper that I made for them, because 'we don't use rosemary'. They would burst into my room screaming. My entire childhood was eggshells. I learned to have no reaction to anything, which at one point caused me to get misdiagnosed as autistic. I'm not autistic, it turned out I just have cptsd. Properly diagnosed 10 years ago as an adult. I left the state because of them, and have gone low contact.
Hey! 3 years ago
That!!! I can understand that. One of the rules I asked my husband to be implemented was to be no screaming in the house. Turns out, our house was so quiet while the kids grew up that my neighbors didn't believe I had 3. My husband and I are NOT screamers so our children ended-up not screaming either. I get where you come from and it's not easy. I separated from my family and don't regret it one bit. Screaming was just one thing among so many others.
Load More Replies...
Anicki 3 years ago
My father was notoriously greedy with money and especially food. He didn't let me and my sister eat from the fridge or pantry in his house. He had a walk-in pantry in the basement with all the "real food", but he locked both basement-door and the pantry and never let us down there. Our mother had to do lunch/dinner to bring for the weekends over there, so she knew we ate. We learned how to open the fridge-door slowly and quiet so he wouldn't hear, but he had an eagle-sense so we could always hear him walk fast and bounce hard down the stairs wondering what the hell we thought we were doing. We were allowed to have bits of candy sometimes, that he had in a locked book-shelf, but years-old hardened candy he got from a cruice yeeeears ago. When I legally could choose we're I wanted to live (at 12 ys old you can choose for yourself in Sweden), I stopped going there.... (Sorry for the bad english, not my native language).
MimSorensson 3 years ago
Dude, what an absolute weirdo. I get you not going there anymore, that’s just so messed up. Interesting to know the age for deciding yourself is 12 here in Sweden, by the way, I always thought it was 13 for some reason. 12 is better, a lot better. A year can be a very long time in some situations.
Load More Replies...
Alexandra Davis 3 years ago
This post makes me want to go and visit my parents and hug and thank them for not only letting me have a normal childhood but a great and fun childhood! Most of these posts make me wonder why these people even had children as they obviously didn't love/ enjoy/ want them! Half are abusive and it breaks my heart knowing that kids grew up/ are growing up with parents like this. So many made me so angry or upset that I couldn't carry on reading for a few minutes.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Exactly what I was thinking! I feel SO lucky to have had the parents I had. They loved and wanted me and treated me like a human being with healthy boundaries and also the freedom to be my own person. This whole article was depressing. :(
Load More Replies... Rens 3 years ago
I left home at 17 as soon as I finished high school because I could not tolerate living at home anymore. My stepfather used to walk into my bedroom when I was dressing and I wasn't allowed to have my door closed; he would walk in while I was taking shower; we had a jacuzzi and I was not allowed to wear a swimsuit I had to be naked as everybody else was too; the last time I swim in our own swimming pool he literally told my swimsuit of my body I was 15 at the time, I never used the pool again. I live very far from school, both high school and primary school, I had to take the bus home and wait outside because I was never allowed to have a key. I had two younger brother's who had lots of activities and my mother would often remember to pick them up from school but forget to pick me up from school (80's, before mobile phones) and I'd be waiting at school until my parents got home and realised I wasn't there, usually 5 p.m. or so. I never had friends over because I lived too far away, and because the house was always such a mess I never wanted friends over anyway. I was always expected to be responsible for my two younger brothers, including their bad behaviour, because I was always supposed to set a "good example". Because of undiagnosed dyslexia and ASD, I really had a difficult time at school and would get punished because I couldn't get good grades. I was still given beatings on my bare backside with a shoe until I left home. Years later my mother found out at my stepfather hedon unhealthy interest in young girls. He died 4 years ago and I've never been happier.
Pam 3 years ago
I’m so sorry you had a creep for a step father. Your mom was okay with the nudity and having to get dressed with the door open? Congratulations on his death.
Load More Replies... Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Then some of these same parents wonder why their adult children want nothing to do with them.
Gemma jones 3 years ago
cant have a double bed ( i had the same bed since i was 12 i was in my 20s and single) as only unmarried sluts have double beds, no internet, no boys, no computer, not allowed driving lessons, not allowed holidays as i didnt deserve it, not allowed to cook when i got home late as we are not a hotel, they would ration the loo paper, they made a map of the house and the rooms i am allowed in, the list is endless glad i finally got out
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
My mum once ripped out a page of my book and made me start my homework all over again because she "couldn't read my scrawl" Shockingly my handwriting never improved. I was also banned from watching Adventure Time because it was "too inappropriate for children". I always thought that was weird
Mister Dave 3 years ago
This one pisses me off so much. I got to the third entry and had to stop.
Hey! 3 years ago
I couldn't finish. All these are some sort of abuse. These are not "absurd", they are downright abusive one way or the other. Man, we had rules, and I had rules when the kids were home, but nothing like this. We had a schedule to see who was doing what that week (meal, cleaning, outings, etc.), of course bedtimes and curfews but nothing drastic. One big rule we had was that we'd knock and wait for an invitation before going into a room with the door closed (we'd stay in the hall and talk if opened).
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
There were no rules in my house, just screaming. You'd get screamed at for doing something one day, and you'd get screamed at for NOT doing the same thing the next day. It was completely random and crazy-making. I would get screamed at for cooking myself eggs in the morning, because it made the house smell like food. Making the house smell like food was a big one. I was once screamed at for putting rosemary on the supper that I made for them, because 'we don't use rosemary'. They would burst into my room screaming. My entire childhood was eggshells. I learned to have no reaction to anything, which at one point caused me to get misdiagnosed as autistic. I'm not autistic, it turned out I just have cptsd. Properly diagnosed 10 years ago as an adult. I left the state because of them, and have gone low contact.
Hey! 3 years ago
That!!! I can understand that. One of the rules I asked my husband to be implemented was to be no screaming in the house. Turns out, our house was so quiet while the kids grew up that my neighbors didn't believe I had 3. My husband and I are NOT screamers so our children ended-up not screaming either. I get where you come from and it's not easy. I separated from my family and don't regret it one bit. Screaming was just one thing among so many others.
Load More Replies... Anicki 3 years ago
My father was notoriously greedy with money and especially food. He didn't let me and my sister eat from the fridge or pantry in his house. He had a walk-in pantry in the basement with all the "real food", but he locked both basement-door and the pantry and never let us down there. Our mother had to do lunch/dinner to bring for the weekends over there, so she knew we ate. We learned how to open the fridge-door slowly and quiet so he wouldn't hear, but he had an eagle-sense so we could always hear him walk fast and bounce hard down the stairs wondering what the hell we thought we were doing. We were allowed to have bits of candy sometimes, that he had in a locked book-shelf, but years-old hardened candy he got from a cruice yeeeears ago. When I legally could choose we're I wanted to live (at 12 ys old you can choose for yourself in Sweden), I stopped going there.... (Sorry for the bad english, not my native language).
MimSorensson 3 years ago
Dude, what an absolute weirdo. I get you not going there anymore, that’s just so messed up. Interesting to know the age for deciding yourself is 12 here in Sweden, by the way, I always thought it was 13 for some reason. 12 is better, a lot better. A year can be a very long time in some situations.
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