People are really bizarre creatures. Although we usually blame cats for being the world’s biggest weirdos, honestly, we don’t fall far behind.
You see, we all have small rituals and odd quirks we do when feeling comfortable enough that nobody is watching, and if anyone asked why, we would probably be short of words.
So when a Redditor asked “What's the strangest thing you've ever been caught doing?” on AskReddit, the thread was destined to become a source of entertainment. And more. You know how people can’t stop cringing when watching 50 Day Fiance or The Bachelor? You are likely to feel similarly when reading through the most interesting responses we selected right below.
This post may include affiliate links.
My ex-girlfriend once caught me playing her cat like a banjo. I had the cat's front paws in my hand, and I strummed his tummy. The cat was purring so loud that it made her come in to see what was going on.
I was called in to assist my wife with putting together a friend's baby shower when her helper bailed at the last minute. My job was to prep the "dirty diaper game" which, if you've not heard of it, is played like this: an assortment of name brand candy bars and chocolates are unwrapped and then mushed into a diaper so as to resemble a baby's dirty diaper. The game participants then assess the contents of each "dirty" diaper and have a guess at what candy bar might be lurking within. Whoever has the most correct answers wins.
Because I was called in at the last minute, I had to complete the task while at work...
So there I was, in my office, fifteen or so diapers laying open on my desk, sleeves rolled up, hurriedly rolling what appeared to be a gooey, nutty turd in my hands...when my boss walks in.
We make eye contact.
He glances at my work, looks at me as though I am dangerously unstable, then slowly steps back out of the office without saying a word.
We've never spoken of it.
I picked up a pizza and was super excited to eat it. I put it in the passenger seat of my car and said something along the lines of, 'I'm gonna take you home and [mess] you up!' I then realized that my window was open, and so was the window of the car next to me. The driver had watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza.
If you’re a fan of popular reality shows, I don’t need to tell you how secondhand embarrassment feels. This phenomenon is often followed by uncontrollable cringe, an immediate tense in the body as if you were ready to evacuate it, aka “get outta here.” Reading these stories may too give you this feeling, and if they did, the chances are you’re far from the only one.
So you may wonder what exactly happens to us and our brains when we feel embarrassed for someone else. Emma Azzopardi, a psychotherapist and developing clinical psych, argues that our experience of secondhand embarrassment tells us much more about ourselves than we’d think. Turns out, it is related to our ability to empathize with the embarrassment or shame that another might feel, she told Refinery29.
When I bought my first pair of night vision goggles, I had them delivered to the TV station I worked at (not trusting my neighbors to leave my [stuff] alone).
So, I took a break and tried them out in the only truly dark room I could find. The mens room.
A coworker came in, flicked on the lights, and was startled to find me in the middle of the room, blinded by the sudden flash of normal light, brushing my teeth in the pitch dark with night vision goggles.
I had to go talk to HR about it. He was freaked out.
I was in standstill traffic (ie car had been turned off, people where loitering outside of their cars) and I had a baby squirrel that I was hand rearing in my car. I fed it some puppy milk formula from a bottle, looked up and realised I had an audience of about twenty people gawking at me
Me, newlywed to my then-husband. Had to leave our apartment and move in with his somewhat disabled mother. Two weeks in, he and I are having sexy times in our bedroom. Specifically, hes going downtown and eating at the Y. MIL knocks and immediately opens the door, saying "dinners on the table!". Awkward pause. Everyone freezes. His face is buried in my crotch. She stands shock still, then huffs, and says "Well, I see you've already eaten," slams the door and goes away.
We giggle, recoup, and go to eat. Most awkward meal of my life.
"As social animals, empathy is a key trait that evolved to help us to be part of a community and to live harmoniously within it. We recognize embarrassing situations for others through neural pathways activated in the anterior cingulate cortex and the left anterior insula regions of the brain. These are regions implicated in the experiencing of 'social pain' related to the situations that others, rather than us, find themselves in. It is these same cortical structures that are involved in the mental responses we would have if we witness the physical pain of another person."
When I was like 14, we got Jehovah’s Witnesses at our front door and my mother walked downstairs just in time to hear me say, “this is a strictly Satanist household and we shoot missionaries on sight.”
My parents are Jewish.
Im an ex JW. I got in trouble a few times for "air knocking" so no one opened the door when it was my turn to preach their b.s propaganda. No regrets either!
My friend's dog was black and named Cinders. When a group of religious solicitors came to her house, her dog got out and while she was screaming "Cinders, Cinders...", the solicitors thought she was hollering at them "Sinners, Sinners..."
I had forewarning that JWs were in the neighborhood, so before they got to my door I picked up my cat. When they arrived, I listened to their yap, then said, "Thank you, but I am a practicing witch, and this is my familiar." They left skid marks.
Load More Replies..."Come in ! Do you know about $cientology" works like a charm too ^_^
My dad was a theology student when they rang the door bell (what they didn´t know). He invited them in, they discussed about religion and the bible for a few hours and then they left and never returned.
I always feel kinda bad for the JW's that used to go door to door before the pandemic because of people pulling stunts like this. They ARE funny, but still I kinda cringe on behalf of the proselytizers. One of my ex's was in the Army and was visiting me on one of his leaves at the last place I lived at. I was working from home upstairs and he was doing some kinda P90X or whatever workout in the living room when the doorbell rang. He always worked out in boxer briefs but they were soaked, so he took them off and grabbed his jeans out of the laundry basket but just zipped them and didn't button. He answered the door a sweaty, panting mess and apparently the JW's left in a hurry. He told me about it later and I couldn't stop laughing because he was also sporting some nice hickeys which he'd forgotten about. But yeah... awkward.
I don't feel bad. If you come to my home for the express purpose of telling me how wrong my beliefs are, you deserve to be harassed back.
Load More Replies...Years ago, J. Witness was told by my (Catholic) mother “Sorry, I’m Jewish, I don’t believe Jesus was the son of God”. She backed down the driveway, screaming “You’re gonna go to Hell! You’re gonna go straight to hell!” Mom still laughs about it
As a formal JW, i call bullsh*t. They do not believe in hell... thanks tho (not defending them at all just stating facts)
Load More Replies...My family just normally ignored the door to them, this probably would have been better 😂
I used to try to ignore them but they would just bang louder. Since they would always come early on a weekend morning, I was afraid they would wake up the grumpy old bear (aka then-husband), so I just started keeping a dollar by the front door and when they would start to pound on the door, I'd stick the dollar out and they would give me a pamphlet and go on. After about 5 or 6 weeks, they quit coming. Small price to pay for a little peace in the morning.
Load More Replies..."I'd be pleased to discuss this with you - if you'd care to head into the next room and disrobe I'll be in there shortly"
My parents would have laughed their butts off, or done that themselves.
Onward my holy brothers for the power of Christ compels you to annoy the satanist
Constitutional right to practice religion any way people want to, I'll defend anyone's right to that.
That ends where my right to be left the F alone in my own home begins. In their private spaces, in public spaces, all day long. Iin my space, my rights trump theirs
Load More Replies...My widowed godmother told them she'd consider joining if they came back with her husband for confirmation.
That is hilarious, your godmother is #bigbrain
Load More Replies...Not strange again. This is actually a known tactic to get them to leave your house alone
We always say, " I cannot talk to you. We're in the Jehovah's witness protection program"
I love the fact that he felt to add the "my parents are Jewish" part at the end as if it were somehow more fitting with other religions.
The same thing happened to my parents except the missionary said she didn't believe her so my dad lit a her wooden cross on fire without hesitation.
I was having lunch with a co worker a few months back where we were discussing another vile Co worker. I mentioned that a few people had actually started calling her Satan. Fast forward to the end of lunch, we get up and two guys from the table behind us suddenly jump up and come over to us holding out leaflets. One of them quickly says "We're sorry to eavesdrop but it sounds like you need these". On the cover it said "Do you know where you're going when you die?" We both burst out laughing at the sheer ignorance and just walked out.
My mom used to tell them we were Jewish. When I asked why, she said they give up easier since if you're not Jewish they figure they've got you halfway there.
My friend and I went to the movies and thought the place was empty, so we started running around and flailing our arms. Turns out, there was a man sitting in the far back corner the whole time just watching us.
When I was 14, I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta. My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since.
Parents of teenagers may see a lot of odd things. Frequently, it's easier just not to question it.
Driving my car through traffic. Have little trial sized hand lotion in my center console and my hands are dry-ish so I dispense the recommended amount and start rubbing it in. Traffic moves and I have to steer, accidentally get some lotion on my steering wheel. Which is leather. Now the part I touched is shiny and the rest isn't. Don't like the way that looks so I dispense more lotion and start working it into the leather. Now, this makes the rest of the leather bits look dull and pretty soon I am all in with this, lotioning whatever I can reach. Casually glance to my left left and there is a car full of people staring directly at me, eyes wide, as i thoroughly massage the interior of my vehicle like some sort of Buffalo Bill esqe auto enthusiast.
Late to the party but here goes.
When I was ten or eleven I snuck a certain magazine I was fairly interested in into the bathroom. I spent way too long in there with it. On my way out I heard a lot of noise outside the bathroom. So I decided to hide the mag under my shirt in front of my chest. Exiting the bathroom I had to pass by the living room in which my father and all his siblings were siting in. Three aunt’s and an uncle. He shouted for me as I passed by, “Hey get back here! What’s under your shirt?”
I walked back slowly, head held low. He reached into my shirt in front of everyone and grabbed the magazine. The look of confusion on his and everyone else’s faces when he produced the Nintendo Power was priceless.
I can’t remember why, but I was in the shower and started loudly reciting the trailer for Gremlins 2. I stepped out of the bathroom and my mom was there pissing herself with laughter.
I once ran up the stairs on all fours. I hadn't realized that my best friend had already come over.
Walking across the road to the dumpster with a bag of trash. One arm pulled into my hoodie. Flapping it like a wing, and slowly moving forward while going in circles. Saying to myself "Flying in circles, flying in circles." Realizing that I was not circling in the right direction for the 'wing' I had and reversing to circle oppositewise. Saying "Flying in circles the wrong way."
Come back inside and find that my whole family had been watching me.
I was at an old tourist junk store that was 3 stories named the Gay Dolphin- I’m like 17 and I let out the biggest fart and asked my sister- “did you hear that lol”
Like 30 mins later we are on the 3rd floor basement looking at sharks teeth and this old man walks by and goes, “I heard that” and just keeps walking.
I once had a coworker who worked at a customer site and had a crush on one of the women who worked there, too. One day, the woman came back from lunch and saw him pick up the cushion from her chair and sniff it. He was asked to leave.
As a toddler, my dog bit my diaper so, in retaliation, I bit my dog in the butt, and my mother caught me.
I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while.
In Skyrim, I went and collected thousands of cabbages and filled my house completely, and was running around laughing.
Hard to explain to someone who walks in, and sees you looking at a screen full of cabbages laughing your ass off.
It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience.
A UPS delivery guy once caught my grandma biting her toenails. She was in the sunroom with the screen door open, and the guy walked up to the door and witnessed that.
I was doing inventory in my freezer and the freezer in inside the store's cooler. Obviously, it was freezing, and my boobs got the worst of it that day. I walked out of the freezer cupping my boobs with my hands and doing some lamaze type breathing, and saying, "cold titties, ooh, ohh, ha." Did not realize the Pepsi vendor was there. Made awkward eye contact and I scurried out and did not return until he was gone. Thankfully, he never brought it up.
He could have been like, "Hey this Pepsi is a little warm, could you help me out"
One time my girlfriend and I had just left the house. She then remembered she needed something and went back in. Now, our house (Golders Green, London), was semi-detached with the neighbours house.
The neighbours motorbike was kind of in our shared front yard. Since I was waiting for my girlfriend, I decided to sit on the motorbike.
I heard the front door of the house close behind me, so, trying to be funny for my girlfriend, I leaned over the tank of the motorbike and started pretending to rev the throttle and making Vrrooom, Vroom motorbike noises. Like, really getting into it. I didn't hear any laughing, so I turned around and it was actually my neighbour standing there with this wtf look on his face.
Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules. They had their own voices too.
I was once a server, and we have ranch dressing in bags, which were so satisfying to squish. I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something. I looked to my left and saw my manager staring at me.
I used to love the feel of the sachets of fabric softener and would go down the supermarket aisle going "squishiable, squishiable, squishiable.
Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me.
One time, I was popping my friend’s back by picking him up from behind and bouncing him repeatedly. A teacher walked in the room and we both froze.
As a pet sitter, sometimes you get lonely when the majority of your interactions are with animals. Sooo, to combat this I sometimes pretend to be the inner voice of whatever dog I'm walking, responding out loud to whatever they're sniffing or whatever grabs their attention. Each dog has his/her own weird voice as well. More than once people have walked around a corner to hear me doing this.
My father once saw me put my foot up on a chair and smack my own [butt]. My leg had fallen asleep.
I was 14 getting it on with my hand and surround sound headphones...my dad walks in on me half asleep and mumbles, “what are you doin boy?” And shuts the door, but then COMES BACK IN TO VERIFY WHAT HE’S WITNESSED and has the audacity to say “you playin’ with yer meat?”
In basic training, we got back to our bunks late, were all exhausted and my body felt broken. Instead of taking a shower I decided to clean my self with babywipes. Usually nobody is paying attention to you because they all have their own things to do, but someone watched me wipe my groin area, under my pants and then proceed to stuff it in a drawer in my bed because I was to tired to get up and throw it away. The person watching me said "WTF are you saving that for later or something?"
In third grade, I went to the bathroom and, thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart. I turned around and saw that some other kids had come in as I had released that massive fart.
I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after that
Arguing with myself (well, not myself - the actual person just wasn't there, so I was standing in) in the mirror. With animated facial expressions and gestures. Lips moving, but with no sound. I now reserve these hypothetical arguments for the shower. When I am home alone.
One of my old roommates walked in on me singing naked into a hairbrush once.
Found a stray cat hanging out in my apartment complex. Decided it would be a great idea to sit on the ground next to him and meow to him. He meowed back each time, so he and I just sat on the sidewalk together having a "conversation" for quite some time. Eventually I even picked him up and carried him around with me on my way to the complex laundry room. Passed by several people who either gave me a "this dude is definitely high" look or just kinda giggle at me. Nothing embarassing about this situation really, I just know me in my PJ's talking to a very dirty, dusty stray cat may have looked... weird.
I think he and I had a great conversation, though.
I was leaving a voicemail for a client to call me back and my voice went from normal to Scottish to southern all in a span of 30-40 seconds. (was not intential I was just tired.)
I thought I was alone at the time as I was in the back room. When all of a sudden I hear guy wrenching laughter from the support department.
Not as bad as others but pretty strange
I once jokingly made an Instagram story of me pretending to shoot oranges out of my bum. My girl walked in on me in the bedroom with my drawers on throwing oranges so it looked like a POV of them popping out my butt.
My dad walked in on my and my brother vacuuming our d**ks into the tube attachment. He just shook his head and walked out of the room
Used to work for medical insurance. You would be surprised not only how common this is but just how often it goes wrong and necessitates a trip to the ER
I once dropped a full litter of milk on the kitchen island and it made me give up and just lay down below the milk waterfall that was created and just drink it. This happen at 3 am and mother witnessed it as she was also awake and thirsty.
When I was going through puberty I started getting a lot of hair on my ass, which I hated. So I started shaving my ass. Once my older brother decided to try and throw a cup of cold water on me in the shower. He rips open thr curtain to me slightly bent over with shaving cream on my ass and a razor in my hand. He stops for a second, throws the cup anyway then proceeds to laugh uncontrollably and tell everyone in the house what he caught me doing.
I was playing VR Chat with a skeleton skin on and I kept doing stupid dances that may or may not have involved a jerkoff motion. I heard my wife's voice from outside the headset go "what the [hell]?!?"
I was trying to get my neck to crack because it was tight. I was turning it quick to the side and saying "crack, crack damnit" as I was doing it for probably ten seconds or so.
To a bystander I was just making awkward head movements and professing my love for crack.
I was running down the hall at school when my trousers fell down revealing that I was also wearing Jeans underneath. The other kids in the hall almost started to laugh until they saw the Jeans and thier faces turned to pure confusion.
In high school english class, we went to the computer lab to do a poetry project. Can't remember the specifics but I remember we had to find a bunch of different poems that we liked. I had a flashback to my sister reading me a poem about a guy who accidentally has sex with a chimpanzee, so I fired up a Google search for "Poems about making love to chimpanzees". My english teacher's teacher senses must have been tingling, because he appeared right behind me, and very loudly asked why I was looking for poems about making love to chimpanzees.
When I was around 10 years old I was getting curious about sex so I decided to look it up in the dictionary. Wouldn’t you know it my ultra conservative mother walks in the room so I try to play it off like I was looking up the Heida Native American tribe. She called me out for being in the S’s but I doubled down and pretended i was possibly dyslexic. What a tangled web I wove.
That's actually sad. We have an open age appropriate door in my house. I will explain anything to my kids. No one should grow up like this kid.
I have a really weird habit of needing to jump up and down while blasting music in my ears. It's the only way I enjoy listening to music. I have no idea why. Obviously, I only do this in private, but because I am blasting music, I've been walked in on a couple of times, sometimes wearing only underwear whilst I jump up and down like an idiot.
In college, in lab, was coding to get double linked list to work.. when my program worked, I hugged the monitor and kissed it .. it’s crt monitor, so yeah am old :) Right at that moment janitor guy walks in and sees it all and has this puzzled look
Was at the driveway at Wendy's and had exact change as I was switching the money one hand to another the quarter slipped in between my legs and I went to grab it but it slipped down further and the guy comes to the window as I have one hand full with cash and the other hand in between my legs trying to grab the quarter. He looked and me and said "I'm not even going to ask" and I just said "the quarter fell between my legs I have exact change" I got it and handed it to him pulled up to the next window to get my food and it set it what he thought he saw me doing. So embarrassing.
Sort of absent-mindedly blowing on a kettle to cool it down before pouring the water over the coffee. My wife thought that was pretty funny...
eating cake icing in my closet at 1 am, not from a cake or anything, straight from the container. with a spoon.
I stopped at a store to buy a baby-shower gift and coffee supplies. Without thinking, I bought just three items: (1) a bag of sugar, (2) a bag of coffee beans, and (3) a breast pump.
At a 7-Eleven, about 2am, several years ago, I was buying a pack of cigarettes, a pack of condoms and a candy bar. I didn't have enough money and had to get my lady friend to give me a dollar.
One time my (then) girlfriend's mom caught me pissing in her kitchen sink when I was bombed out on Ambien. I had no recollection of it the next morning.
Oh yeah, Ambien can be really obnoxious! It’s not uncommon for me to wake up in the morning and wonder, “What the heck is wrong with my stomach?” And then I walk out to the living room, and find evidence that I’d eaten something really weird. The weirdest so far was the morning I woke up to a bowl half-filled with tuna (liberally salted and peppered), goldfish crackers, Raisin Bran, and milk. I didn’t eat much that day. 🙄
I once was walking to a store while smoking a cigarette. It was only about half gone, but not wanting to litter I scraped it across the ground and tossed it in a half empty trash can. As it goes in I catch a glimpse of it still smoking and go to check it so I'm not responsible for a potential fire.
People walked by right after I waited for a moment and smelled directly in the trash can for any signs of burning. Yes, I did quit smoking after.
Contrary to most porno seens, getting caught masterbating by your sister- in-law is not ideal.
After I graduated highschool my parents took me to a fancy Brazilian barbecue place. You had these little wooden dowels that were green on one side and red on the other. Now they would come bearing very well cooked meat. Obviously I ate way too much.
So much in fact I woke up sweating at almost three in the morning. Now having too much meat in your stomach is like having a heavy solid weight stuck in your stomach. Now my sleep addled brain decided the best idea to get rid of this heavy meat ball in my stomach was to move. And that is the story of how my mother found me dancing very seriously at 3 in the morning.
Sitting on the floor of my kitchen with the lights turned off while making Mac and cheese.
It doesn’t help that the roommate who caught me is the one who would always find me sitting on the floor eating animal crackers or cereal out of the box.
Rewiring a microwave to go past its automatic shutoff temperatures to make neat rocks and glass out of rocks I found in the backyard.
It wasn’t my family’s microwave, and my friend wasn’t home at the time. His father just stared at me, as I and his kitchen were covered in clay and pumice dust. And in his microwave. His only microwave.
My friend was due back from the hardware store in five minutes. Those were some very uncomfortable minutes.
When i was like 13 i had my two friends (female) showing me (male) on my stomach what a "happy trail" was. Their dad walked into the room with me having me shirt pulled up and the two girls touching my trail. Was really awkward cause up to that point I'm pretty sure he thought I was gay.
Caught in the garden singing "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor looking sorrowful by my sister after a bird didn't return to her eggs in the nest she'd made in our shed.
One of the bottom tier songs on that album, but Mike Shinoda is legend
When we were in our twenties, a good song came on the radio and I was trying to make my brother dance to it. I put my hands on his shoulders and was moving him back and forth. My parents saw this and had a strange look on their faces. I asked what was wrong and they said 'we thought you were choking him'. Guess I should learn better dance moves.
I was licking the bottle of empty gatorade saying "damn I wish I left some for today"
My friends and I did some questionably gay pranks back in the day as pubescent boys. Moon infront of the tv screen, stuff like that.
One day I snuck into my friends room (he had glass doors to the front yard) and got ready. I got naked and put on a sombrero, and equipped my pecker in the wide end of a vuvuzela. Laid in his bed in wait...
Few minutes later his mom walks in during a family function. I was mortified, she either didn’t notice or just ignored it and walked out. Was I caught? Too afraid to ask.
I was the pet of the day
I mean by my Best friend made me naked and put a dog collar and went a walk with me in his house and i was the pet of a day.
And his parents caught us and said "WTF" I couldn't speak until i got home.
I forget which one it was, I believe it was Foster Dad John, he'd foster litters of kittens and had a live stream going. So obviously being kittens, 18+ hours a day it was just a steady video of them sleeping, but it was entertaining as hell when they actually were active.
I'd be in my basement typical college room programming, and have this live stream of kitties on my other monitor and my roommates would come in to ask me about dinner or heading to later classes or something like that, I'm there with code pulled up on one side, text books all over, and then a random live feed of some dude's living room on the other side. A decade later every time I talk to them they don't let me live it down. It was soothing, doing math and programming homework I needed some random kitties to keep me company but couldn't adopt one of my own so I'd bring that up.
I had a coworker who looked a lot like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. I mentioned it to him once, and he said he gets that a lot.
I got to talking to him about Beef Jerky, and how I had recently tried it for the first time. I explained that I wanted to try it because it’s probably the closest human equivalent to dog treats.
“Of course I never will, but I’ve always been curious about eating dog treats...”
...and just as I finish that sentence, the general manager walks by and catches the end of what I had just said. I preceded to laugh and walk away because I love when people walk-in on conversations at the most confusing possible moment.
Slapping my belly and listening to sound it made. At least they found it funny
Holding up the pee inside my foreskin to "charge up" the stream, and then release just at breaking point. I was 10, didn't lock the door. My brother happened to walk by. Been doing it ever since, gets you going more powerfully
HAHAHAHAHAHA WHY DO BOYS ALWAYS DO THE WEIRDEST STUFF WITH THEIR PEN1SES? I think I’ve done the same thing before….
Trying to pry ribs off a roadkill deer carcass.
For context, I'm a bone collector. Most of my collection comes from oddity shops, but sometimes you just find a really good opportunity on the side of a highway. I never did get those ribs, though. I was so embarrassed I immediately drove off.
I was working nights at this liquor store. I step outside and hit my pipe and get high AF... then I go back in and I get to stocking shelves.
Well, high ass me, for a reason I still do not understand, got Jewel's "You were meant for me" stuck in my head. I have no idea why... this was in like 2004 long after Jewel's career had peeked and faded...
Anyway, I'm all stoned and singing Jewel... loudly... while stocking the cooler when I decide to have fun with it and sing it almost as though it was a Youtube apology video.
So now I'm cry-singing Jewel's "You were meant for me" at the top of my lungs, when a customer pops their head around the corner and says, "Um... are you open... and are... are you OK?"
Apparently our door beeper had gone on the fritz...
I tried to explain I was just stoned and effing around... but they were having none of it and continued to look at me as though I'd lost my damn mind, not just for the remainder of that transaction, but since they were a regular for years after.
Rummaging through my (then-boyfriend) ex's laundry basket looking for his ID card and getting caught by his roommate. Iirc, I was caught holding his pants with a "I-can-explain" expression.
I had a spare hour between classes and he didn't have his ID card, meaning he'd have to walk home after work instead of riding the bus. So I rode the bus to his house, got his ID, then got back in time for class.
It's funny that I can laugh about this and feel nothing for him now. I'm healing and I'm happy.
why wouldnt you be able to laugh about this? Why would this even be weird after just telling the roommate you were getting the ID
I hopped out the shower one day and was inexplicably overcome with the desire to see if I could balance upside down on my head. I use to do it all the time growing up. Guess I wanted to know if I still had it.
The thing is, this desire had to be sated immediately. Even before I threw on some clothes. So I drop my towel, flip on top of my head and start balancing like the good old days. Even held my arms out by my side to try it hands free.
Out of no where my mother and ex gf burst into my room (without knocking with their rude asses) and get a face full of me upside down, naked in what can only be described as a reverse T stance. They screamed, I laughed and I think I clipped through the ground a bit due to s**t collision
Microwaving my cereal before eating it
When I was about 8 or so, me (M) and my neighbor (M) decided to do some pole dancing at the stop sign at the end of our street, complete with hollering at the cars driving by. Some laughed. A few honked....one [jerk] stopped and chased us away yelling at us. Then, when he saw which houses we ran into he came and talked to our parents about what he had seen....
I built a joint before work the other day and forgot to wash my hands afterwards, so when i was on the bus i sniffed my fingers to check if they stunk of weed and halfway theough giving them a good sniff i noticed a couple of people looking at me.
During summer camp, I was caught in the girls lavatory.
There were only 2 toilets in each facility, and two camp counselors endlessly monopolized the men's (I waited at least 20 minutes, and they were still in there).
Since I was desperate to go, I used the girl's because there was no one around - that is, until I came out, and got caught.
My friend and I fighting over my trousers.
I wash my booty hole every day and I dry it with the pair of underwear from the previous day after I get out of the shower. That way none of my towels are [butt]-towels where someone's face might go someday. Call me weird. One time my ex walked in on me in the middle of standing Captain Morgan'd on the side of the tub, wiping my [butt] with my underwear and immediately accused me of "cleaning" my [butt] with my underwear. Took a month to convince her that wasn't the case and get her to stop making fun of me for it.
Early morning, was speaking gibberish nonsense. My dad witnessed it all.
Doing a joker impression in the mirror
My oldest son does impressions in the mirror ALL the time. He also likes to pace and have conversations with himself. It started when he was six and he is sixteen now, and still does this. He calls them his imagination talks. It bothers my husband, but not me. He explained to me that he puts himself in a movie or show he just watched, but not as any of the characters. He creates his own character, and then proceeds to come up with his own lines. I swear, between the impressions he does (and they've gotten REALLY good) he'll either be a screen writer or an actor who is really good at improv.
When my husband and I had just started dating I stayed over his house. His dog slept in his room. His mom chased the dog while we were all eating breakfast bc the dog had something in his mouth. It was the condom he threw away the night before.
I once tried to hoover my laptop keyboard to get rid of all the crap (weed and tobacco tbh) between the keys and accidentally hoovered up one of the keytops off it. It was a hoover with a bag so I took the bag out and was feeling it from the outside for the key but because I didn't know exactly how a key in a hoover bag would feel I then took off another key and popped it into the top of the bag so i could...(yeah, yeah...i know, dumb idea but I did say weed was involved) see what it felt like sure in the knowledge that once I'd felt that one, I'd be more able to find the original.. dropped it too far and lost that one too. So.. i got a plastic sheet and took off my clothes as I didn't want to get them covered in all the crap... and about 5 minutes later I was sat crossed legged on the floor with a hoover bag full of dust between my legs and pretty much all over me.. in just my boxer shorts - and that's how my flatmate saw me when he came in from work. Like I'd got some dust fetish
I was lying in bed, avoiding getting up for the day, and I decided I wanted to know if I could still roll my "R"s ten years after my last Spanish class. So I muttered to myself, "Burrito," over and over, trying to get the "R" sound correct. I didn't realize my boyfriend was home. He just stood out in the hallway listening to me, until he finally said, "What. The Hell. Are You Doing?"
I once fell asleep on the subway while listening to music. I woke up confused just as a live track was ending with applause, and somehow in my confusion, I started clapping too. My fellow commuters seemed to think it odd...
When I was a kid, we got a big snowstorm and I went into the yard and dug myself a nice tunnel system with wider areas to sit/stand in. I would periodically pop my head out of one of the holes, yell at cars, then pop back in. Did this fir like 45 minutes, went back in, found my whole family laughing. 🤣🤣
If we ever get enough snow here, I will certainly be doing this.
Load More Replies...I didn't get caught doing it, but I was attending an event at a museum ... the restroom is lit dark ... it looked like a big restroom so walk over to the far end and this guy is in my way, but I didn't want to make any contact so we kept going back and forth with each other until I realized the reason the restroom looked bigger was because the whole wall was a huge mirror and I was running into my own reflection ...
Sitting in a HUMVEE during field training back in my Army days. Bored waiting on the LT and NCOs to decide what we were doing that day. Noticed the windshield was fogging up. I started wiping it with a cloth while singing in a horrible opera voice "IT'S ALLLLLLL ON THE INSIIIIIIIIIDE!!!" Only to discover, when leadership came out of their tent and looked in my direction, that the vehicle's radio had a hot mike due to a stuck button. I had sung to the entire battalion.
A friend dropped by to see me and was sent down to my basement where I was. Doing a killer air guitar to Pink Floyd's Turning Away. In my boxers. While hanging upside down on my inversion table. Smartphones weren't a thing yet or I'd still be paying blackmail.
I was caught headbanging in my room by a friend once. I was on a bottom floor, window open, and she walked by. I lived in a private area in the woods so only friends and family ever walked by. I thought I had 5 more min before she arrived.
Load More Replies...I once opened my back door with a flourish to let my two elderly dogs outside and told them to “Fly! Unleash hell my furry minions!” only to see someone walking past just at that moment. They heard it all.
How many times would i upvote this comment if i could? Not enough.
Load More Replies...I sat in the back row in Mrs. Newton’s 4th grade class. We were doing spelling exercises as a class, but I loved and spelling and was very good at it. So I closed my eyes and was going to do the whole worksheet by myself at the end of the lesson and just be so proud of my nerdy little self. Trouble is, I could still hear Mrs. Newton and the other students, so I plugged my ears and very quietly hummed Star Wars music to myself. Or maybe not quietly, because after a couple of minutes I opened my eyes to my teacher and the entire class looking at me. The Force was not with me.
When I was in the Navy, one of the guys on the ship could put string up his nose and pull it out of his mouth. He used on the "new" guys when we pulled out of port in rough weather, as we usually were served greasy spaghetti as our first meal out. He would sit with the "new" guys, start to eat, say he wasn't feeling well, head to the bathroom and come back with the string hanging out of his nose and mouth and just sit down and start eating. Needless to say, most would get up an leave for the bathroom shortly after. A friend and I decided to learn that trick. We were practicing snorting string and had about 12" of it up our noses when our LT walked in. There we sat with string hanging out our noses and he had this confused look on his face. He looked at us for about a minute, shook his head and walked out as he shut the door. Turns out, there is a trick to it. You have to swallow when the string gets to the back of your throat or it all just goes into your sinuses. Who knew.
No-one actually saw me doing it, but if anyone walked in on me the other day they'd have found me singing "Perfect" by 11 Acorn Lane to one of my pet rats. 🎶 "Perfect, perfect, wouldn't change a thing about you, perfect, perfect - you were made for me!" 🎶 Ah, the benefits of living alone.
I talk to one of my cats all the time. While this in itself doesn't sound that strange, it really is. He's a very talkative cat with a very loud voice so whenever he meows, I will respond with something like 'oh, really?' and then he'll meow again. I'll respond with 'I know' and it just keeps going from there. My favorite time to do it is at night when he really wants to go outside. Now I do let him out, but he's a mostly black cat so if he's inside once the sun goes down, he's in for the night. So he'll meow and I'll respond with things like 'I know you want to go outside but the sun is down. You know the rules.' I'll have full conversations with him like I can understand what he says. My family doesn't find it very strange anymore.
For a month every summer my sister and I would go stay with our grandparents in another state. Our visit during summer when I was 11 coincided with her neighbor having his nephew visiting for a month. I made friends with 'most' of the kids on her street over the years, but there was one girl, age 12, that for some reason didn't like me. Well, this nephew was 13 and cute, charming, funny all the girls had but crushes on him, that girl especially. She immediately was stuck like glue to him, trying her best to get noticed. But the minute we locked eyes, that was it and we became each other's 'first love', whatever that means at 11 and 13 years old. Anyway, to get privacy, we would go on the side of my grandparents garage and hold hands and kiss, we also picked that spot because it was in view of that girls house to make her mad. She came out one day, saw us. We saw her face turn bright red and then she turned around and stomped back inside. We laughed. Here's the kicker, because he was a foot taller than me I would stand on a cinder block so I didn't have to look up nor him down. We watched for cars to come so we weren't caught by family (my 2 aunt's still lived at home). After dinner my aunt says "me and John (her boyfriend) saw you kissing that boy and why were you standing on a block?" I was mortified, scared she tell grandma, who'd tell my parents and they would have definitely grounded me for weeks once I got home. But she was cool and didn't blab. She did however tease me unmercifully for the next 20+ years. Hahaha, remember when I caught you you smooching and would then tell the entire family, aunt's uncles grandparents cousins sisters brothers etc the stories (she caught us more than once).
I love music and always wished I could sing. I often have this side-fantasy that I went on American Idol or XFactor or something and won it all. I love putting my headphones on and just pretending I'm some great singer and I'm performing. My phone is linked by my bluetooth in my car and I had a friend in the car and he's like, "why is your playlist named 'My XFactor Audition'? Lol kind of embarrassing.
One time, about a year ago, in the air force cadets, I got new pants. Exciting, right? I didn't try these pants on until a week later, on a field craft camp. They were about six sizes too big, and pooled around my skinny, teenaged body in waves of khaki. Turns out, they had mixed up my pants, with my friends, who was about three years older than me and built like a chunky slenderman. But anyways. I, having the maturity levels of an eight year old, i decided that when we went out to practice some camouflaging in the dark, i would pull them up to my shoulders and run around like an armless blob. Naturally, I fell on my face. And that was when the Warrant Officer found me.
I got caught singing one eyed one horn purple people eater in the restroom at McDonald's when I was a kid.. A few weeks or months or so go by and I was told I sat up straight in the bed(family gathering on air mattress in living room parents playing cards in dining room) I start reciting Bill and Ted Totally bogus dude and done jacked up face expression. And laid right back down And went to sleep!! I was an odd child
Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it outit.. :) AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> www.worksful.com
8 yrs old I had a friend call me up to come over to his house. I quickly got dressed in a hurry, biked a few blocks past numerous ppl, and arrived at my location without pants on.
When my husband and I had just started dating I stayed over his house. His dog slept in his room. His mom chased the dog while we were all eating breakfast bc the dog had something in his mouth. It was the condom he threw away the night before.
I once tried to hoover my laptop keyboard to get rid of all the crap (weed and tobacco tbh) between the keys and accidentally hoovered up one of the keytops off it. It was a hoover with a bag so I took the bag out and was feeling it from the outside for the key but because I didn't know exactly how a key in a hoover bag would feel I then took off another key and popped it into the top of the bag so i could...(yeah, yeah...i know, dumb idea but I did say weed was involved) see what it felt like sure in the knowledge that once I'd felt that one, I'd be more able to find the original.. dropped it too far and lost that one too. So.. i got a plastic sheet and took off my clothes as I didn't want to get them covered in all the crap... and about 5 minutes later I was sat crossed legged on the floor with a hoover bag full of dust between my legs and pretty much all over me.. in just my boxer shorts - and that's how my flatmate saw me when he came in from work. Like I'd got some dust fetish
I was lying in bed, avoiding getting up for the day, and I decided I wanted to know if I could still roll my "R"s ten years after my last Spanish class. So I muttered to myself, "Burrito," over and over, trying to get the "R" sound correct. I didn't realize my boyfriend was home. He just stood out in the hallway listening to me, until he finally said, "What. The Hell. Are You Doing?"
I once fell asleep on the subway while listening to music. I woke up confused just as a live track was ending with applause, and somehow in my confusion, I started clapping too. My fellow commuters seemed to think it odd...
When I was a kid, we got a big snowstorm and I went into the yard and dug myself a nice tunnel system with wider areas to sit/stand in. I would periodically pop my head out of one of the holes, yell at cars, then pop back in. Did this fir like 45 minutes, went back in, found my whole family laughing. 🤣🤣
If we ever get enough snow here, I will certainly be doing this.
Load More Replies...I didn't get caught doing it, but I was attending an event at a museum ... the restroom is lit dark ... it looked like a big restroom so walk over to the far end and this guy is in my way, but I didn't want to make any contact so we kept going back and forth with each other until I realized the reason the restroom looked bigger was because the whole wall was a huge mirror and I was running into my own reflection ...
Sitting in a HUMVEE during field training back in my Army days. Bored waiting on the LT and NCOs to decide what we were doing that day. Noticed the windshield was fogging up. I started wiping it with a cloth while singing in a horrible opera voice "IT'S ALLLLLLL ON THE INSIIIIIIIIIDE!!!" Only to discover, when leadership came out of their tent and looked in my direction, that the vehicle's radio had a hot mike due to a stuck button. I had sung to the entire battalion.
A friend dropped by to see me and was sent down to my basement where I was. Doing a killer air guitar to Pink Floyd's Turning Away. In my boxers. While hanging upside down on my inversion table. Smartphones weren't a thing yet or I'd still be paying blackmail.
I was caught headbanging in my room by a friend once. I was on a bottom floor, window open, and she walked by. I lived in a private area in the woods so only friends and family ever walked by. I thought I had 5 more min before she arrived.
Load More Replies...I once opened my back door with a flourish to let my two elderly dogs outside and told them to “Fly! Unleash hell my furry minions!” only to see someone walking past just at that moment. They heard it all.
How many times would i upvote this comment if i could? Not enough.
Load More Replies...I sat in the back row in Mrs. Newton’s 4th grade class. We were doing spelling exercises as a class, but I loved and spelling and was very good at it. So I closed my eyes and was going to do the whole worksheet by myself at the end of the lesson and just be so proud of my nerdy little self. Trouble is, I could still hear Mrs. Newton and the other students, so I plugged my ears and very quietly hummed Star Wars music to myself. Or maybe not quietly, because after a couple of minutes I opened my eyes to my teacher and the entire class looking at me. The Force was not with me.
When I was in the Navy, one of the guys on the ship could put string up his nose and pull it out of his mouth. He used on the "new" guys when we pulled out of port in rough weather, as we usually were served greasy spaghetti as our first meal out. He would sit with the "new" guys, start to eat, say he wasn't feeling well, head to the bathroom and come back with the string hanging out of his nose and mouth and just sit down and start eating. Needless to say, most would get up an leave for the bathroom shortly after. A friend and I decided to learn that trick. We were practicing snorting string and had about 12" of it up our noses when our LT walked in. There we sat with string hanging out our noses and he had this confused look on his face. He looked at us for about a minute, shook his head and walked out as he shut the door. Turns out, there is a trick to it. You have to swallow when the string gets to the back of your throat or it all just goes into your sinuses. Who knew.
No-one actually saw me doing it, but if anyone walked in on me the other day they'd have found me singing "Perfect" by 11 Acorn Lane to one of my pet rats. 🎶 "Perfect, perfect, wouldn't change a thing about you, perfect, perfect - you were made for me!" 🎶 Ah, the benefits of living alone.
I talk to one of my cats all the time. While this in itself doesn't sound that strange, it really is. He's a very talkative cat with a very loud voice so whenever he meows, I will respond with something like 'oh, really?' and then he'll meow again. I'll respond with 'I know' and it just keeps going from there. My favorite time to do it is at night when he really wants to go outside. Now I do let him out, but he's a mostly black cat so if he's inside once the sun goes down, he's in for the night. So he'll meow and I'll respond with things like 'I know you want to go outside but the sun is down. You know the rules.' I'll have full conversations with him like I can understand what he says. My family doesn't find it very strange anymore.
For a month every summer my sister and I would go stay with our grandparents in another state. Our visit during summer when I was 11 coincided with her neighbor having his nephew visiting for a month. I made friends with 'most' of the kids on her street over the years, but there was one girl, age 12, that for some reason didn't like me. Well, this nephew was 13 and cute, charming, funny all the girls had but crushes on him, that girl especially. She immediately was stuck like glue to him, trying her best to get noticed. But the minute we locked eyes, that was it and we became each other's 'first love', whatever that means at 11 and 13 years old. Anyway, to get privacy, we would go on the side of my grandparents garage and hold hands and kiss, we also picked that spot because it was in view of that girls house to make her mad. She came out one day, saw us. We saw her face turn bright red and then she turned around and stomped back inside. We laughed. Here's the kicker, because he was a foot taller than me I would stand on a cinder block so I didn't have to look up nor him down. We watched for cars to come so we weren't caught by family (my 2 aunt's still lived at home). After dinner my aunt says "me and John (her boyfriend) saw you kissing that boy and why were you standing on a block?" I was mortified, scared she tell grandma, who'd tell my parents and they would have definitely grounded me for weeks once I got home. But she was cool and didn't blab. She did however tease me unmercifully for the next 20+ years. Hahaha, remember when I caught you you smooching and would then tell the entire family, aunt's uncles grandparents cousins sisters brothers etc the stories (she caught us more than once).
I love music and always wished I could sing. I often have this side-fantasy that I went on American Idol or XFactor or something and won it all. I love putting my headphones on and just pretending I'm some great singer and I'm performing. My phone is linked by my bluetooth in my car and I had a friend in the car and he's like, "why is your playlist named 'My XFactor Audition'? Lol kind of embarrassing.
One time, about a year ago, in the air force cadets, I got new pants. Exciting, right? I didn't try these pants on until a week later, on a field craft camp. They were about six sizes too big, and pooled around my skinny, teenaged body in waves of khaki. Turns out, they had mixed up my pants, with my friends, who was about three years older than me and built like a chunky slenderman. But anyways. I, having the maturity levels of an eight year old, i decided that when we went out to practice some camouflaging in the dark, i would pull them up to my shoulders and run around like an armless blob. Naturally, I fell on my face. And that was when the Warrant Officer found me.
I got caught singing one eyed one horn purple people eater in the restroom at McDonald's when I was a kid.. A few weeks or months or so go by and I was told I sat up straight in the bed(family gathering on air mattress in living room parents playing cards in dining room) I start reciting Bill and Ted Totally bogus dude and done jacked up face expression. And laid right back down And went to sleep!! I was an odd child
Google pay 97$ per hour my last pay check was $8500 working 1o hours a week online. My younger brother friend has been averaging 12k for months now and he works about 22 hours a week. I cant believe how easy it was once I tried it outit.. :) AND GOOD LUCK.:) HERE====)> www.worksful.com
8 yrs old I had a friend call me up to come over to his house. I quickly got dressed in a hurry, biked a few blocks past numerous ppl, and arrived at my location without pants on.