How many times have we seen such a plot in movies - a person leaves the prison gates, then someone from their previous life or someone from their future life approaches - and a series of exciting adventures begins. Real life, unfortunately, is completely different from what we see on the screen...
When released from prison, some people unfortunately return to crime, but even for those who sincerely try to live a decent life again, this process is not at all smooth, simply because prison is a completely different world that leaves an imprint on everyone who has been there. And the redditors in this thread open up about the prison habits that invariably accompanied them or their acquaintances after their release.
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I did almost seven years. Been out two years. I'm 35. From Wisconsin. Wisconsin has a law called "Truth in Sentencing", You do 100% of your time. There are multiple head counts where the guards make sure that all of the inmates are accounted for. Every morning at 5:00 a.m. I felt like I was doing something wrong if I slept past 5:00 a.m. It took me almost six months before I slept past 5:00. Even now, 6:00 a.m. is sleeping in for me. It has allowed me to never be late to work, and show up everyday. I was a drug dealer with no work ethic, and I slept until noon. Ironically, I am more successful than I ever thought I would be because of this habit. I actually just got poached by another company who offered me a 150% salary increase. Nice to see you, new tax bracket. In two years, I have become a model parolee. My life is great. I married my wife last September. I go to therapy for a multitude of conditions that manifested while I was a guest of the state. I was diagnosed with general and social anxiety disorder, and PTSD. I was out a few months and I had a panic attack. I had no idea what was happening to me. I was literally paralyzed and afraid. I thought prison ruined me. It made me a better person in general. I am not praising Wisconsin DOC by any means. The guards dehumananized the inmates and treated us like pure garbage with no hope. They always told people "You'll be back". I won't be back. People that go back produce job security. They want people to come back so they do what they can to steal your dreams. I changed myself. Prison allowed me to step back and really look at my life. I saw who I hurt. I saw who was there for me. I saw who abandoned me. I became focused on change after my third year. I contemplated suicide because I wasn't even half done with my sentence. After I seriously thought about hanging my life up I committed myself to being the best human being I could be. I revolted by behaving, teaching myself things, and being positive. My life is now amazing. I'm surrounded by people who love me and support me. All of the "ex cons" reading this, and people just interested in this thread, that label is b******t. We are human beings with feelings. We can change. Stay positive and stay hopeful. Never give up. All of my fellow Redditor's, one love.
I wish you all the best. I hope someone reading this takes it to heart.
I didn't use a fork for a few weeks. Ate everything with a spoon without thinking. It's not the most interesting thing but I hadn't noticed it posted here.
Ah! The good old 'spork'... ( I worked many, many years as a prison/ county jail nurse)
staring at sharp things. Like theres no desire to use them innapropriatly but you are just kinda shocked they're there and available for use. You might be suprised what qualifies as a sharp object. I remember whenever someone tried to hand me a knife or something to cut veggies Id be afraid to touch it. Glass was the biggest thing though, just mirrors in all the bathrooms. real ones. I could smash that s**t and have a big jagged weapon, i cant believe this italian restraunt has such a dangerous thing in their bathroom.
stopping thinking of objects as weapons is hard
Well, according to inexorable statistics, the United States is the world leader in incarceration, having over 1.8 million imprisoned just in 2023. At the same time, every year approximately 600 thousand people leave the prison gates - and they all need to somehow integrate into ordinary life. Alas, not everyone actually succeeds in this.
According to data from the Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS), among prisoners released from jails in 34 states in the five-year period from 2012 to 2017, seventy percent were arrested again within the next five years. As for prisoners with juvenile records, here the recidivism rate is even higher - 80%. Yes, imprisonment has a strong influence on the human psyche, even too much...
Doing laps. In prison, every time you get time on the yard, you do laps. Seriously, almost every single person does it too. When you get out, it's hard to break that habit.
I did this alot in jail. There's not much room. You rarely get to go outside. It would help going to sleep because I tired my body out. I can sleep through anything now. Door bangs, fights, toilets, yelling, etc. Once I'm asleep I don't wake up for s**t.
I find myself hoarding toilet paper under my bed. Sometimes I do it without thinking and I'll look under there and have 10 rolls of tp
Hoard feminine hygiene products. We were super limited on the number of pads or tampons they gave us. They didn't give any to the women in holding cells. There was dried and fresh menstrual blood on the floor and concrete benches, and a drain in the middle of the rooms like they intended to hose down the room, but if they did it was not often enough.
That is inhumane. Cruel and unusual punishment. Not to mention discriminatory, since only women receive this treatment.
Many convicts in prison develop a large number of specific habits that are caused by constantly being in a closed space, the regulation of many aspects of their lives by third-party rules and, let's be honest, the constant presence of danger - after all, they are 24/7 surrounded by people who have also broken the law. Accordingly, after release, adapting to ordinary life can be very, very difficult.
Taking as long as you want in the shower. For the longest time after I got out, I took less than 5 minute showers.
not having a timer on your shower is amazing or having to wait for it to go off and sit for 5 mins and press it again , covered in soap lol
I knew of a guy who got out after 15 years. He had to call a friend to come and let him out of his apartment. They'd go out, do some shopping or whatever and then his friend would "lock him up" for the night.
Dude could not work doors himself without irrational fear. He did get better after a few months, but I hear he still has trouble doing things independently.
Constantly looking over my shoulder. By far the hardest conditioning to break, which I haven't and doubt I ever will, is the constant pessimism and cautious optimism. You see, when you're waiting to work your way through court, get a deal, and get sentenced, you will have your dates changed 50 times, hope for certain things only to be disappointed, and any time you are told something hopeful it doesn't work out.
As a result, I never get excited for something until it actually happens. When my wife told me we were pregnant (I already knew from her symptoms that she was but still, you never know for sure till you take the test), I was obviously happy, but because I'm always cautiously optimistic and rarely show emotion, I couldn't feel comfortable or excited until I knew that my developing daughter was healthy. Even then, it didn't really hit me till she was born.
You can apply this to anything especially big events. Getting engaged, planning the wedding, buying a house, ANYTHING. I still hear from my wife how i wasn't crazy surprised or excited to be having a kid. I was, I actually was the half of the relationship who was dead set on a kid when my wife supposedly could've gone either way.
You just can't get your hopes up or look forward to anything until it is here or has happened. I've been home over 7 years now and with my wife for 6.5. She's truly the catalyst that motivated me to truly change my life and to not give any more of my life to the system, but she'll never know how happy she makes me because she misinterprets my cautious optimism/realism for pessimism or indifference.
Dude I feel this. I didn't spend much time in, but I went through trials and it was definitely unnerving to say the least. I had the same feeling during my own pregnancy as you described. I think it probably has more to do with how I was raised, but that c**p is what got me into the situation that got me locked up so. I always keep my expectations low, but I do get really excited when things work out.
Yes, being in prison is a traumatic psychological experience for most people, and adaptation to normal life after release should ideally include therapy and a whole range of psychological support. Unfortunately, this does not always correspond to reality...
“The biggest problem is the criminal justice system, and the mental health system are not closely aligned,” VeryWell Mind quotes Robert Morgan, PhD, chair and John G. Skelton Jr., regents endowed professor in the Department of Psychological Sciences at Texas Tech University. “We need to teach [former inmates] system management and how to cope. We need to teach them about their mental illness and make sure that they know once they leave, they need to reconnect with the mental health system.” In an ideal world - yes. In real life - who knows?
I don't smoke, but every time someone offered me a cig I would pocket it. on the inside thats a bartering chip, took me about a month or two to break
One cigarette sold for ten dollars in the prison I was in.
Sounds like there’s a major epidemic of ex-prisoners with PTSD that society doesn’t talk about.
Not to mention that there is a significantly higher number of people in prison with mental health problems and mental disabilities than there is in the general population, simply because we have a terrible mental health culture and we criminalize things we should be treating instead...
Making prison commissary-only food. Everyone around me thinks it is gross as hell to throw summer sausages, pickles, cheese, doritos, cheetos, and such into my ramen noodles, but good lord, I can't stop, and I have been out for five years.
Prison life has always had its reflection in culture - suffice it to say that the first place in the IMDb Top 250 list has been occupied by The Shawshank Redemption for several decades. However, we do not know what mental problems Andy Dufresne faced after his glorious escape - and he spent almost twenty years behind bars. Maybe Stephen King will write a sequel about all this one day - and meanwhile we're looking forward to your own comments and maybe own stories below this list as well.
A somewhat-friend of mine did a few years and the one habit he couldn't shake was distrusting people.
He said that people in prison are never nice, if they're nice it's because of a hidden motive. Up to this day he still doesn't trust people who act nice / generous / helpful / .. towards him.
A couple guys I know-after being out for 5-10 yrs- wrap their arms around their plates and shovel food in their mouths at the speed of light. They are also super defensive of their food. When I first got to know them I jokingly swiped a chip off one of their plates and he flipped his fork up and demanded I give it back, freaked me out a lil
Realising I could just get up and go somewhere. That I could make plans tomorrow from a thousand different choices.
Hard to break the habit of checking everyone who enters your vicinity. It feels like you’ve gotta mark everyone off as a non threat
Edit: I don’t care if you do that and you’ve never been to prison
Love the edit here. People who have never been in a situation love to tell people who have how much they know about the situation they have never been in.
Definitely sleeping habits. Still haven't broke them. Haven't slept a full night in over a decade. Any noise and my eyes are open and I'm wide awake. I can hear really well. A raccoon comes nightly to eat scraps and cat food and I can hear him crunching outside on the porch from bed on the opposite side of the house (roughly 60feet away). Wide awake.
All of this sounds eerily similar to be being deployed ....
Both involve putting desperate people into traumatizing situations full of dehumanization and violence, so I kinda see why.
My ex would sleep a certain way all the time. To me it seemed like he was sleeping as if he was in a coffin,his arms crossed and wouldn’t move the entire night for a couple months. He eventually broke that habit.
Edit: a word
Yeah, I feel this. My prison "single bed" was about 15cm shorter than a regular single bed. I've been out for almost 3 years now, and I still freak out that I'm falling off my bed, even though it's a double bed now, and only me.
My uncle was in prison for a while and we've talked a bit about his experience and how it effected him:
-He has a hard time not being violent. You'd never guess since he mainly just sits in a corner and smokes but he's been out for nearly ten years and still always struggles with using his words
-The guy cannot stand authority. He tells me that its hard to listen to bosses when you know you're probably smarter and tougher than them. He knows most people feel this way, but he just can't ignore it. He's taken up professional carving so he can be his boss.
-He's really in touch with our native roots now, on account of joining a first nations gang in prison.
-Doesn't talk much, I don't know if that's because of prison but he really only speaks if he wants to. Not the type of guy who likes to talk just to talk.
-Doesn't have a lot. He has some sort of abandonment issue or something so he doesn't want a lot of things to miss if he goes back to prison.
-For all the time he doesn't spend with people, he's out with nature or doing something in the wilderness. I think it helps keep him calm and feel connected.
Nice enough guy, but prison kind of f****d him up I think and he's going to live his life being slightly disconnected with people
I noticed a kitchen hand as a teenager in the restaurant I grew up in, he was so funny and cool and hot etc and then he ‘went away’ and a year later when he was back, he was overly reserved, not talking and fun like he used to be. Someone had to pull me aside and explain cos I was so young/naive and confused. He was only in for dealing a small amount of pot. Which is scary to think 1gram of weed means a year later youlll be a different person in a bad and sad way.
Not me personally but I know a guy that said after he got out he just wanted McDonald's. When he got there he spent 20 minutes staring at the menu trying to decide what to order because he wasn't used to having choices.
I have served people like this in restaurants 😆 they are darling. I just end up picking something for them. Based on a short list of questions like what do you hate and what do you love (like eg. do you hate cheese or love it, chicken or beef? )
The hardest thing has been to talk without using the words f**k, f*****g or a*****e in every sentence.
I had to completely change my sense of time. I agree with all the people who said they ate super fast, but then we would slow walk back from the chow hall- any excuse for a few minutes more outside.
I made sure I never consolidated enjoyable things. If I had a snack- I ate it and concentrated on it. If there was something good on TV, I watched it. Now, I’ll snack while I watch a movie because there aren’t enough hours in the day- but on the inside I was trying to make hours and days go away.
I’ve got a good job now, and nice respectable friends, but I still react to confrontational situations more quickly, decisively and... efficiently than they do. I’m able to pull back at the last minute, but it’s pretty clear that violence is not a tool in their arsenal.
This stretching of things to fill time is so hard to explain to people who are working and keeping house and doing all the 'normal' things. When you have disabilities that make it impossible to achieve more than one or two things in a day, time stretches out like a vast void in front of you and it's hard to imagine how to fill the decades ahead without going completely nuts. All you can do is try not to think about it and do whatever it takes to get through right now.
When my dad got out of prison (10+ years) we nicknamed him Martha Stewart because he was such a clean freak. His home looks like an ikea catalog, he has glass containers for his shoes, he wakes up early to iron/wash/scrub everything.
When I lived with him for a year, I was grounded so many times over leaving water drops in the sink.
I have something similar that happens. After a stressful or traumatic event, I get the hardcore need for everything to be *right* and it isn't, I sometimes freak the f**k out. Poor guy is probably out of his mind trying to mentally stay together by physically making his world stable.
Not me - but guy who worked for me. When things were very busy, I would often get carry-out lunch for everyone and bring it back to the workplace. This one guy would eat a cheeseburger and french fries in two minutes. Wow! Once I asked him why he ate so quickly. He said "Well nobsforgma, I spent 7 years in a Federal prison and if you didn't eat your meal in 10 minutes, you didn't get anything. That 10 minutes often included the time it took standing in line to get your food." OK then. I never said anything to him about it after that.
My husband spent some time in juvie over 25 years ago. He still eats his food like someone is about to steal it. I've never seen him take longer than 7 minutes to eat a meal. No matter how hard he tries, he's never been able to break the habit.
Not being able to goto the free infirmary when sick or hurt.
Not me but my best friend who spent 2/3 of her life locked up in juvie and prison: If she wanted a glass of water, she would ask permission.
Also, if we were at my apartment and we're gonna leave to go somewhere, she would stand behind the door and wait for me to open it. As if the door to my apartment was locked and only I had the keys.
RIP M
I lack any faith/beliefs (other than a firm conviction that the Rainbow Bridge is a real place where our beloved pets go after death) but I sincerely hope M is at peace now.
I spent 72 months in prison for a tragic car accident that I had caused. After I was released I kept telling my wife exactly what I was doing without her asking. She thought it was funny at first but after a few weeks of it she was starting to get bothered.
Having your head on a swivel, protecting your personal property in an obsessive manner, and sizing everyone up. When I was locked up, I always knew what was going on 360 degrees around me. Only the last unit I was in had lockers with actually locks, so before that, I had to protect my commie, paperwork and books all the time. Most people would fight you to take your s**t because that is the respectful way to do it, but cat burglars are the worst; they sneak around and take s**t. They get f****d up by everyone when they get caught. It is code: you want my s**t, come get it. Not sneaking around and steal it. I’ve been out for almost a year and a half but I still constantly size people up. No matter where it is (grocery store, Walmart, walking down the street), I still analyze each person and figure my best course of action if we have to fight.
Dude I work with said for the first little bit after getting out he would take a leg out of his pants when he’d s**t. Not sure how common that was, dude’s a fighter though, so maybe that had something to do with it.
For people wondering: You're at your most vulnerable when pooping. This is why your dog looks at you while he poops, he's counting on you. In prison, if you've got pants around your ankles and are attacked, you're not able to stand, let a lone fight. Pants off 1 leg, you can stand up and fight.
Not wearing shoes in the shower. Eating with forks and knives. Having salt and pepper for food. Not always having to watch your back. Being able to get food when you want it, and just get up and leave to go for a drive or something.
Hardest habit? Talking s**t to dum***s old men who think they're right cuz they're old. Easiest habit? I'm never eating top ramen or getting a bowl cut from a Mexican "barber" again
Not an ex con but my step dad has been in and out of prison for the majority of his life, he always said that whenever he gets out of prison you're so use to to it being loud all the time that when he got home he couldn't sleep because it was so quiet.
My older brother is a trucker and cannot sleep at home. He's so used to the noise of the truck and vibration that sometimes on a home weekend, he still sleeps in the truck and goes home in the morning. His wife gets it but it sometimes aggravates her. He's lived in that thing for almost 12 years so that's home now.
Never been to prison. But i did a few months in county jail. Something i havnt seen mentioned is trading food. When i got out i asked my girlfried to trade me her chicken wings for my macorni. Pure habit. I really couldve just went to the kitchen and got more chicken
Just knowing what I could do to someone who crosses me. Knowing just how badly I could f**k them up physically and mentally. I have to remind myself that "no, this person probably has a family, probably hasn't done anything wrong in his life, don't destroy him just because you can."
Being in touch with and understanding your personal 'monster' doesn't make you a bad person. You are much less likely to lose control and do something you'll regret if you can admit to yourself that you are capable of doing these things. Pretending that we are all sweet little kitties is ignoring the fact that cats are ferocious predators that will kill for fun.
I know our beloved Shyla, soft can-opener and servant of the lovely Bouche and Audi, has always been open about spending time in prison. Shyla, if you happen across this article and my comment, I truly truly hope that you feel a measure of peace now, with your fur-darlings/everything else in your life. I am always constantly wishing you all the best. Gah okay, I know that sounds like Facebook "thoughts and prayers", but what I REALLY mean is that I think of you and your kitties often and I hope you are all happy <3 I consider you a friend even though we have never met IRL. :)
This is a lot like it feels after finally getting out of an abusive relationship with a narcissistic ex. I still hoard things I wasn't allowed to have like nice body products, toilet paper. I still always put away my things so that they don't get broken or taken away; I am always hyper vigilant, don't like anyone being behind me; always look for the way to escape; I still get triggered by men shouting, loud noises, and I avoid confrontation because I don't know how I might react if I feel threatened. It's been 5 years and I live alone for a reason; I will also never let anyone have access to or control of my money/bank account.
I don't know why you got downvoted, because there is a similarity when you are being so completely controlled and dehumanized. I'll probably get downvoted too, but I did do a year in jail as well as my time in scary manipulative relationships. If I had to chose between jail and my ex, I'd go back to jail.
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I did some time in my country. It was massively traumatic. I don't say that because I expect anybody to sympathise with me, but simply because it was. It's not the "hotel" the media likes to portray it as, by any measure. Imprisonment is the punishment and it is horrible. It goes well beyond being put in a room and locked in. Dehumanising and abusive treatment by staff or other inmates is not. I fully agree that the victims of crime are the main people who matter. But that shouldn't mean that retribution is the best focus of the justice system. The countries that have the lowest rates of recividism are those who treat their prisoners the most humanely. For my part, the prison staff I dealt with were professional and affable. They weren't there to make friends, but they weren't there to make lives difficult either. Being treated as a person made prison something I could build from and turn my life around from.
I do sympathize and I hope you are doing okay/better now! I have not been incarcerated, but I have struggled with substance abuse (yay drugs) for many years and while it is NOT the same thing, I know what it is like to be in a shítty situation that you really, really want to get out of, but can't (without help of some kind.) Again, not nearly the same thing, but you have my empathy. You paid your dues, and you deserve some peace now. (I was sober/in recovery for nearly a year but recently relapsed due to relationship/family stresses. Good times.)
Load More Replies... I know our beloved Shyla, soft can-opener and servant of the lovely Bouche and Audi, has always been open about spending time in prison. Shyla, if you happen across this article and my comment, I truly truly hope that you feel a measure of peace now, with your fur-darlings/everything else in your life. I am always constantly wishing you all the best. Gah okay, I know that sounds like Facebook "thoughts and prayers", but what I REALLY mean is that I think of you and your kitties often and I hope you are all happy <3 I consider you a friend even though we have never met IRL. :)
This is a lot like it feels after finally getting out of an abusive relationship with a narcissistic ex. I still hoard things I wasn't allowed to have like nice body products, toilet paper. I still always put away my things so that they don't get broken or taken away; I am always hyper vigilant, don't like anyone being behind me; always look for the way to escape; I still get triggered by men shouting, loud noises, and I avoid confrontation because I don't know how I might react if I feel threatened. It's been 5 years and I live alone for a reason; I will also never let anyone have access to or control of my money/bank account.
I don't know why you got downvoted, because there is a similarity when you are being so completely controlled and dehumanized. I'll probably get downvoted too, but I did do a year in jail as well as my time in scary manipulative relationships. If I had to chose between jail and my ex, I'd go back to jail.
Load More Replies... I did some time in my country. It was massively traumatic. I don't say that because I expect anybody to sympathise with me, but simply because it was. It's not the "hotel" the media likes to portray it as, by any measure. Imprisonment is the punishment and it is horrible. It goes well beyond being put in a room and locked in. Dehumanising and abusive treatment by staff or other inmates is not. I fully agree that the victims of crime are the main people who matter. But that shouldn't mean that retribution is the best focus of the justice system. The countries that have the lowest rates of recividism are those who treat their prisoners the most humanely. For my part, the prison staff I dealt with were professional and affable. They weren't there to make friends, but they weren't there to make lives difficult either. Being treated as a person made prison something I could build from and turn my life around from.
I do sympathize and I hope you are doing okay/better now! I have not been incarcerated, but I have struggled with substance abuse (yay drugs) for many years and while it is NOT the same thing, I know what it is like to be in a shítty situation that you really, really want to get out of, but can't (without help of some kind.) Again, not nearly the same thing, but you have my empathy. You paid your dues, and you deserve some peace now. (I was sober/in recovery for nearly a year but recently relapsed due to relationship/family stresses. Good times.)
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