ADVERTISEMENT

Deciding to marry someone can mean threading a fine line between discovering what picking a life partner will be like and avoiding hitching yourself to the wrong person. As many folks have discovered later in life, people can be full of surprises.
Someone asked women “What did your spouse hide from you until after you were already married?” and people shared both dark and wholesome stories. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments below.

#1

“What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We never married and are no longer together, but she is the mother of my son. She hid from me just how good of a mum she would be, was of the opinion for a long time she never wanted any kids, but we spoke about it and decided to have one, what a woman she is, she's got pretty bad depression, early menopause, and endometriosis, every day for her is different, but god that woman steps up every day for our son, things didn't work between us nothing bad, just circumstances, but I love that woman so much for what she does.

Federal-Aardvark-722 , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Diolla
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a lovely post 😊

Kindlovinghumble
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love how he recognizes how hard it is to function when having any or all of these and how she fights through it for the love of their child. Most exes just bash and say they don't understand how their ex can't just step up and pretend none of their symptoms exist when truth is they are most likely giving their best when at their worst. Well done for being so caring, encouraging and positive!

Sage da therian
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This may be a dumb question but: wouldn't she like having menopause esrly, because periods with endometriois are so painful?

PrettyJoyBird
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably. Menopause can have long list of symptoms one still includes painful cramps. Everyone is different though.

Load More Replies...
Brian Droste
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe having a child is helping with her depression?

Haywood Jablome
Community Member
1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont want to say im crazy, but it's telling when I see positivity and immediately get bored

RELATED:
    #2

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he is a really hard worker. He completely changed the day we got married. I don’t mean change in a bad way. He f*****g stepped his game up. He puts in the work every single day to keep our marriage in such a good spot.

    buzzingbuzzer , Miguelangel Miquelena/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Bonkers & Curious Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This just made me cry. I wish I could find someone like that! <3

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why does the marriage change his attitude? I don't understand why he didn't put in the hard work before

    Lil Miss Hobbit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or maybe she didn't realize how hard working he was until they moved in together?

    Load More Replies...
    Paulo Leitao
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when any woman says "he steped up" or "he needs to step up" it usualy means she will be lagging behind when he does step up but will make 0 changes to herself.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #3

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His favourite dinosaur is the triceratops. I had to hear it from our two year old.

    mldl , Ash Berlin/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

    Lil Miss Hobbit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Huge green flag. Triceratops are the best.

    Min
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once you're an adult, people stop asking what your favorite dinosaur is. It's like they don't even care.

    Hmmm hmmmm
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know right , can we start a hey pandas what's your favourite dinosaur

    Load More Replies...
    Isabella
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a funny one, hahaha!

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oooh, the baggage! Imagine keeping something like that a secret going into a marriage. Divorce, sister!

    Untamed Snark
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why don't people discuss things like this s before they get married? Dinosaurs are something that should be discussed in the first few dates.

    Mocha the Lion
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    people with lesser known favorite extinct creatures! what are they? for me im obsessed with prehistoric crocodillians, like the quinkana

    Key Lime
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why it's important to visit dinosaur museums.

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thst is my favorite dinosaur also.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, I would have shouted it out during sex.

    View more comments

    Privacy is always important to some degree, even in a marriage. In many places there are legal protections in case you do need to spill the beans, but in most situations, like the ones here, the issues are hardly criminal. On the other hand, talking about trauma, for example, is a classic case where privacy might be important, marriage or not.

    While holding something from your spouse forever might be questionable, sometimes speaking about something difficult to talk about isn’t as easy as just sitting down and spilling the beans. The various traumatic examples in these stories are evidence of that. Childhood trauma and horrible relationships all influence what a person feels comfortable or uncomfortable speaking about.

    #4

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he loves jigsaw puzzles! I guess I didn't tell him I did either. We found out on our honeymoon. It started a lovely tradition where we now buy a challenging puzzle from the places we visit together.

    _pie_pie_pie_ , Magda Ehlers/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #5

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) How freaking smart he was. Some things had never come up before. But he could figure out how to do stuff, fix stuff, problem solve…he never failed to surprise me.

    adoglovingartteacher , Kenny Eliason/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do people date for like 2 weeks before they marry? In the X years you're living together in some places, stuff like this come up.

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We married six months after we met so we learned a bit about each other after the wedding day.

    Load More Replies...
    Paulo Leitao
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is the kind of thing you should know about someone before you marry. wtf ??

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #6

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That my husband can make this sound with his mouth and it sounds EXACTLY like a guinea pig. I still don't get how he does it, now our 10 year old son can also make this sound and I just dont get it. It's some form of sorcery.

    throwaway_bandittt , Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Sivi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, I do this.. but with my laugh

    Elise Deegan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My almost 10 year old does this and I'm like "what is happening?!!"

    Sage da therian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can too! I have two guinea pigs, lol

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My brother does a spot on imitation of the magpie from Bananas in Pyjamas

    #7

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Oof that he was predominantly asexual. I support Aces, but that's really something you need to let your partner know about before a commitment like that.

    Roleplayer_MidRNova , Andrew Davie/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Tamra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is definitely something to discuss with a partner that you want to build a life with.

    foxgirl158
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even with one you aren’t sure if you want to build a life with. When my now gf and I sat down to talk about if we wanted to date or not, that was one of the first things I brought up. Luckily it didn’t bother her (I think she is as well, she just doesn’t realize it yet)

    Load More Replies...
    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your post is the reason I read this article. You have all my empathy. It may seem shallow, but physical intimacy is part of the reason I sought a partner, not just a best friend. It's not just the sex, it's to feel wanted. I wish you well.

    Thomas Jenkins
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Premarital sex is not only important, it's also necessary for a happy union

    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only advice my mom gave me was to sleep with them beforehand, and let anyone know if I was abused. Lady was right.

    Load More Replies...
    b
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen this a couple of times. Maybe the thinking is if they love them enough, that sex won't matter?

    Angie Falzarano
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah my ex didn't tell me he was a cross dressee until after we married. Then other things in the marriage I believe he is bi or is gay but won't come out of the closet. Or at least won't till his parents pass since he is the only living child. Older bro and younger bro both committed auicide

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I’ve got a crazy one. I found out my ex husband had an adult baby/diaper fetish after we married. He had even gone as far as putting up ads online looking for women to change him. Found one of his ads where he made up a story about being incontinent from a car accident…which was completely false and made up. He told me about this fetish after we got married, but it never came up again until the end of our marriage, which is when I found the ads he put online. He wanted to act on it more and wanted me to be involved. I didn’t understand it and, to be honest, it grossed me TF out. We started seeing a marriage counselor, and she suggested me giving him boundaries…like certain days where he was allowed to wear the briefs and do adult baby stuff. All it took was one time seeing him, a grown man sitting on a blanket on the floor with a pacifier, bottle, and adult diaper on, I just couldn’t take it…I ended the marriage shortly after that.

    Airbear61181 , David Shankbone/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This would totally weird me out too. Can't blame OP for ending that marriage.

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yea, i think that must be one of those kinks youre either all in or all out, i cant imagine anyone being like "meh" about it

    Load More Replies...
    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, this or any kind of fetish would weird me out. I don't really care what anyone else does as long as it's consensual , but that's not for me. I would have split after I found out. It's something he should have revealed prior to marriage.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I read the first sentence of this post and said, "Nope. Too early for this."

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To each their own. But for me, even though I am reasonably open minded, I would politely get the fück out.

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a friend who dated somebody into this and it was... interesting, for sure. Who am I to judge? I have my own weird stuff.

    ElfVibratorGlitter
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Exactly. Not my particular cup of tea, but if it's not hurting anyone else....

    Load More Replies...
    similarly
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This kind of stuff HAS to be discussed BEFORE marriage. You don't get married and THEN suddenly decide to ask your spouse to do weird stuff. Boundaries need to be declared AND respected before marriage.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #9

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A lot of stuff about his childhood- I knew he was abused, I didn’t know the extent of it and it makes me sick how his mother and father treated him. We cut his mom off years ago but his dad took off on his family when he turned 9 :( My husband has admitted he doesn’t really know what it’s like to have a family and that I am his family.

    beesus06 , SEYED ALI Taghavi/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    rararando
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes me so angry and sad and happy for them all at the same time )':

    StretcherBearer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one is relatable. Her dad died in a cheap motel in the middle of Nevada like he deserved and she has no contact with her mom.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Exactly how patient he'd be with my ADHD. The dude is superhuman. *I* get more frustrated about my ADHD than he does.

    RealBrookeSchwartz , Rachel Claire/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    #11

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That his family was crazy abusive and neglectful and he thought it was all normal until I told him no, it’s not normal to get beaten every day and it’s not normal for your mom to pass out drunk and you have to feed and take care of your baby brother at only 7 years old.

    SpaceForceLieutenant , Ahmed akacha/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Evelyn Fox
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor man. I hope he's making up for it by having a beautiful and happy life with you. <3

    Barbara Saunders
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That doesn't sound like he "hid" it, if he thought it was all normal.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #12

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He knew every word to the 2001 Cinematic masterpiece Shrek. I didn't know it until after we were married for FIVE YEARS.

    mandywydnam , dreamworks Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can do this too - but only for silent movies.

    Sven Horlemann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There need to be consequences. We just need to think of some!

    #13

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Married her thinking we had both been prior divorced once. Turns out she had been married an extra time. I thought Ok, its a Vegas thing or something when you were young, nope, she was married fo 7 years to her child hood sweetheart. Turns out she lied about just about everything to do with her personal life. Divorced three years later.

    NoSquirrel7184 , Christopher Campbell/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, that's trying to build a life on lies. Feel sorry for the man.

    Jessie
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprised it still took 3 years until the divorce, I would have broken it off right away. A marriage is built on trust and I don’t see how anyone can trust someone that has lied about their entire life.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #14

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) A second refrigerator in the garage. It was hidden. I saw our daughter eating a popsicle and I asked her where she got it. She said “dad’s fridge” and I asked what that meant. She walked outside and showed me what “dad’s fridge” was and I’ll be damned. I don’t know how I didn’t see it.

    Louisianimal0418 , whyamiKeenan/Flickr (not the actual photo) Report

    Allen Beloe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For keeping the cool stuff in

    Angela C
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you not notice a whole a*s refrigerator in your garage?

    Nicole Weymann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Simplest explanation: garage is not used for parking the car, but more as a workshop for him, hobby or otherwise. She may also be very unobservant.

    Load More Replies...
    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least it wasn’t a freezer…. I’ve been watching far too many true crime programmes recently.

    Ali H M Salehuddin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this happened as per what this BP title says, then the problem is with the wife; not with the husband. How can she not notice its there since before marriage till their daughter is old enough to talk!

    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A shop fridge is fairly common so dad may not have been 'hiding' it - may have just not thought it was worth mentioning it. I have an old fridge in my shop for soda and sometimes extra space for a BBQ / having people over. It is many years old but works. Recently I've been considering getting rid of it due to don't really use it any more. Or at the very least - clean it out and unplug it to save electricity.

    Glen Ellyn
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Known as a "Beer Fridge" around here.

    Scott Rackley
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, mine is a Kenmore that's over 50 years old, in mustard yellow, and runs like a top. I would love to see all the beer that's been through it. It was my papaw's beer fridge, and now it's mine.

    Load More Replies...
    Lil Miss Hobbit
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha. Check it out. There's probably treats in there

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You never went into the garage?

    Javelina Poppers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perfectly normal, I have a freezer and an old 60s fridge I call Walt since he's been around longer than my kids, practically one of the family.

    Paulo Leitao
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    wasnt that hidden if the kid found it.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #15

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He had never paid taxes during his military career. Never. 5 years. Still blows my mind how that’s even possible. Bottom line, 6 months into the marriage, I’m attempting to buy a sandwich and my card declines. That’s weird. Checked the joint bank account, IRS took everything.

    Marriednotdeadd , Diego González/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a good reason for a divorce...

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OP should look into the "unknowing spouse" provisions of the tax law. But that's assuming that she didn't know.

    MaggieMay85
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This can’t be true. The military takes out your taxes, except when deployed in combat areas. Also your chain of command would know. I was late for my pap and my 1st sgt knew. Nothing is confidential.

    PFD
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How... how is it even possible? A military career where you're working for the state, paid by the state.... every cent you earn known to the authorities... I'm astounded it's not just taken out of the paycheck.

    Justin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What i don't get is why military personnel (or any govt employee for that matter) pay taxes from their govt income. The money comes from the govt just to go right back to the govt. Seems unnecessarily circular and inefficient.

    Bobby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of those years not paying taxes may have been legal. If you are stationed in an active war zone for example. In the navy it's actually very common for people who want to reenlist to delay the reenlistment until the ship is in a war zone so that the first installment of any kind of bonus is tax exempt

    Candida Greco
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment has been deleted.

    View more comments
    #16

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) The insane way he was brought up. His siblings went to kindergarten but not him. He was locked in a room while the parents worked (he is the eldest). It still doesn’t bother him!

    hypnosssis , Anthony Wade/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he's locked that whole experience in a box and put it in a dark place? There might come a time something triggers that box to open, let's hope they can get some help if that happens.

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or sometimes we accept the fact we were little and had no control over any of it whatsoever and wasn't our fault and we don't let others actions define our existence. I was little and no control and now I am big and have all the control

    Load More Replies...
    #17

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was a paranoid schizophrenic.

    Successful-Ad7296 , Jakob Owens/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That might be something to disclose for the sake of (so not 'in lieu of') being open and honest with eachother 😬 (Edit: used opposite phrase of what I meant, original in brackets)

    Broad Panda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But wouldn't disclosing that be part of being open and honest?

    Load More Replies...
    Angrykitten
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This should be disclosed before marriage, all medical stuff should be disclosed

    MyCatsTheRealPanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man. I'm so sorry. I dealt with a mother in law that had this and a list of other mental health issues. It's a hard thing to deal with. Especially after it being hidden from you. Hope it all worked out.

    Roan The Demon Kitty
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have schizophrenia, alongside other mental health conditions, and I would say that it is 100% something that should come up well before marriage, hell, even before committing to more serious dating. I happen to be insanely lucky that my wife deals with it all so well, and that I'm well medicated for these issues. Not to there isn't bad days of course. It can be hell for both victim and family/friends/partners to have to deal with sometimes.

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She finally got diagnosed as bipolar, schizophrenia and manic after 10 years 2 of which she put me through hell/abuse/attempted suicide and attempted murder.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #18

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Years and years ago my relative hid a wife and kids across the globe from his new wife until she called his parents and the old wife answered 🫣 old wife thought he died in war.

    emptyteacupfan , Patricia Prudente/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Dragon mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What did I just read? Oh my ...

    Occam's Chainsaw
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm confused. Did the parents know about both wives?

    #19

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) I asked my mother about this once. She said she didn’t learn until after marriage that my dad very frequently attends funerals! She noticed in their first year there seemed to always be a friend of a family friend, extended relative, an old piano teacher, etc whose funeral mass my dad would attend. He’s from a huge family with tons of siblings/uncles/aunts with lots of extended friends and relatives. Latinos lol. She asked him why he attends every single one even if he hardly knew the person and he said he just feels strongly it’s the right thing to do, because his mom raised him that way. My dad is very wholesome. My parents have been married 42 years and he is still this way. It’s not infrequent I’ll catch up with my dad on the weekend and ask him what he’s up to and he says “well I’m attending the mass for so & so’s mom, remember her?” (I never do).

    She-Individual-24 , Ksenia Chernaya/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    FrogMan
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Weddings are optional, funerals are mandatory

    Svenne O'Lotta
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No they are not. Funerals are for the living.

    Load More Replies...
    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "If you don't go to other people's funerals, then they won't come to yours." - Yogi Berra

    StretcherBearer
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My uncle who was a total sociopath used read the obituarys of total strangers and then crash the wake for food and booze. Sometimes he would give a eulogy even and prayer since he was ordained in prison. Seriously.His exploites were legendary in our family. He was a jolly a*****e🤣

    Namea
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Often they have free food.

    Key Lime
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Dad always said - a funeral is for the living.

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Elizabeth Taylor arranged to be late for her own funeral. What a woman!

    Bored Seb
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if I don't go to my friends funeral, I'm afraid they won't come to mine :(

    Steve
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Common habit among ghostbusters

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We never got married but my partner hid that he was about to go bankrupt until I was 6 months pregnant. That was fun times!!

    stillnesswithin- , Towfiqu barbhuiya/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang.. that is so uncool!

    Nika the Great
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dude I don’t think uncool is the right word for this situation

    Load More Replies...
    #21

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That she was a trans woman (MtF).

    AfterHours22 , Andriyko Podilnyk/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nina
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's something you should discuss before marriage. Didn't they discuss wanting or not wanting children? It would feel as a big breach of trust to me.

    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, this is something that should have been brought up at the very beginning or else it's deceitful.

    Load More Replies...
    Micah<3
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just so everyone knows, her wife didn't realise/come out until after they were married! They've been together for 19 years, and her wife has been on HRT for 10 years now! They're still married!

    PFD
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thanks! A very different situation from what's suggested by the initial post.

    Load More Replies...
    Linus Nilsson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why are all the comments "you should have found this out earlier!"? If they only came to realize that they felt more natural as a woman after they were married, surely OP couldn't "find out" before?

    Rahul Pawa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People are reacting that way because the OP doesn't explain the situation clearly. I'm presuming you went to reddit to read the source to learn more.

    Load More Replies...
    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For context, she (OP) was already married to her partner when she transitioned, and they decided to stay together - she talks about it extensively in Reddit, how she had a husband and now has a wife.

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A friend of mine dealt with this in her own marriage many years ago. Her former husband went through all the transitions long ago as well. They had an excellent and strong friendship which continues to this day.

    Load More Replies...
    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surely this is first date information

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if the person realized this a while after being married.

    Load More Replies...
    Delenn
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honest question, I am a little confused: a woman married to a man (born male) and after being married for a time he realized he was a trans woman (was born male but identified as woman). The trans woman (who was still biologically male) told the wife and they decided tostay together. Is it correct? I am sorry, I am not trying to offend any trans who are here, just trying to understand who was who. With so little information I think there is a lot of people in the comments that are confused like me.

    Fox with a Dragon Tattoo
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ow... that's a difficult one. I dont know if I could stay married

    Shawn Barry
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is why straight men can't stand trans women. Liars! Ok, not all of them. why build your relationship on a lie

    Gary Geracci
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you were together a while, she must've had damn good doctors!

    nanofarad
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you dated this girl for long enough to get married and never ever had sex?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #22

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He hates mushrooms. I used to make this mushroom lasagna with 4 kinds of mushrooms and a mushroom bechamel and he would eat seconds! The deep streak of British politeness meaning he would eat whatever I made didn't break until a few years into marriage.

    laser_marquise , FOX/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Screaming_Icecream
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I believe this is one of the reasons the British people are so cautious with unfamiliar food! Once one accepts the portion, one has to eat it up to be polite, no matter how deeply repulsive it is for them. A student friend of mine cried in the toilet after she heroically ate the whole helping of traditional Slav meat jelly... So safer to decline anything unknown, always.

    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not so sure about the logic of that. Given in my town there are Chinese, Indian, Thai, Japanese, Italian, Vegan, Mexican, Polish and Caribbean restaurants thriving, I’d say Brits have quite adventurous tastes. Admittedly, we got the taste for most of them by invading their country….

    Load More Replies...
    Sara Frazer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mushroom lasagna sounds amazing 😩

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It does, I'm imagining how good it must have been

    Load More Replies...
    Jeremy Bolanos
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did he just one day have a breakdown in the kitchen as he saw another mushroom dish?

    Hodge Elmwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would eat the hell out of that!!

    Delenn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I also hate them, they smell like liquid cement to me. I don't remember a time when I did nit hate them

    Sophia L.
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate mushrooms. I could never.

    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish op would make this for me !

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #23

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That right up until the night before we got married that his family was trying to talk him out of getting married and even went so far as to say they’d cover for him if he cheated (he did not cheat and had no desire to). I’m glad he hid it before we married(I was dealing with wedding stress plus sick my own seriously ill parents so hearing this when we were engaged would have sent me over the edge). He did tell me not long after we got married. Will say that I’ve not fully trusted my Inlaws since then, and it’s been over 20 years.

    duckdontbackdown , Emma Bauso/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Saphyre Fyre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't trust them at all; let alone fully. At least you can trust your mate.

    Sven Horlemann
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, the BS my family thought important to come up with and discuss regarding my and my wifes wish to marry... wow. Married 33 years now. F*ck 'em.

    #24

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Not my spouse, but my friends' spouse hid kids he didn't take care of. The way she found out? Getting a letter from the IRS that their refund was snatched for back child support.

    rednecksnextdoor , Ana Klipper/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Poultry Geist
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my coworker was about 5 yo, his mom, him and his sister were all home doing what they would do and they got a knock at the door. It was a social worker with his half sister from a woman his dad had an affair with! Social worker left her there, the dad was at work! You can imagine how that evening probably went, but his mom stepped up and raised her with her other 2 kids and treated her as if she was her own child !

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially if you had planned on using that money for something special. Now all gone.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #25

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can catch flies in mid air like a f*****g ninja.

    WhatTheActualFluff , Nixon Johnson/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Kat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can do that! 😁

    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worked with a guy who, in his words, was one of the Vietnam boat refugees. The way he could catch a fly in his fingers was amazing. He said it was an art form he had refined growing up in swampland. He was an amazing guy in so many ways, but that was impressive!

    Mark Alexander
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do that. How else do you put them outside without killing them?

    Diana Schlafer
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband can do that, too. It's freaky!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #26

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His affairs. I married someone who was actively dating many other women and really great at hiding it - until we got married - then suddenly the affairs were everywhere and he didn’t try to hide them. Divorced now, obviously.

    jellybeancountr , photo nic/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Dee Tag
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand why people like this get married.

    Donna Peluda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just the logistics of this would drive me nuts.

    #27

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Our wedding night, I woke up from a deep sleep because he had terrible gas. His farts were so loud, and often, I actually felt badly for him! In the morning I asked if he was feeling okay, if the food had upset his stomach, if he needed to postpone our honeymoon trip… He had been holding it in for the five years we were dating.

    SapphireWork , Kampus Production/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Saphyre Fyre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like that was 5 years of gas, all at once. LOL

    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can still vividly remember each time a guy I was seriously seeing farting in front of me. "Did you just now decide to be comfortable?" "Yup."

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So the ever so distending belly didn't raise any flags?

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He'd been holding it in for five years, but couldn't wait until after the honeymoon?

    Brian Droste
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a long time to hold a fart in.

    Hodge Elmwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a deal breaker I'd want separate bedrooms.

    Tostones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Omg, I literally LOLed at this! And I am not even one for fart jokes. How awful it must have been for hm!!

    Susan Teter
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well at least he didn't Dutch oven you

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #28

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Bowel issues. They’re genetic and cause him to last an hour in the restroom daily. It really sucks when I have to pee. Also how destructively envious his mom was of my family. Explained why she’s always so critical of me, she’s looking for ways to tear me down to her level.

    thefifthtrilogy , Alex Simpson/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Bored something
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They really need a two toilet house.

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    two toilets is the one thing i insisted on and refused to budge from when he got our new home

    Load More Replies...
    Bored Seb
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how can you go all the way to marry someone without knowing they need to spend one hour daily in the restroom... that's something quite easy to spot...

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not healthy, at all. Please get your partner to a doctor... They should be checked for IBS and other colon issues.

    ManuelQue
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm pretty sure he has done just that since his issues are described as "genetic".

    Load More Replies...
    Pandaodboredem22
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Genetic may be absolutely true, but it sounds like a lazy diagnosis. What exactly genetic? My wife was diagnosed with IBS that nothing could be done about except manage symptoms for 31 years of her life, turns out it's Celiac. Explains the IBS and many other issues. And Celiac absolutely can be genetic. Moral of the story- I believe diagnoses of, it's genetic, or fibro mialgia, while the symptoms are 100% real, are cop out diagnoses.

    Huddo's sister
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just because they only wrote that it's genetic doesn't mean they don't have an official diagnosis of anything, maybe they just didn't want to go into specific. Also, fibromyalgia is not a cop out diagnosis. It's not just symptoms that are real, the cause is the immune system not reading sensory receptors properly and instead interpreting it as pain etc. It has been about 2 decades since doctors realised that fibromyalgia isn't just a mental thing but an auto-immune condition. IBS is often a diagnosis when the doctors can't find anything specific, but that doesn't mean it's not real. I have both IBS and Ceoliacs and they are quite different conditions. My symptoms are quite different when I have a reaction to gluten than when it is another intolerance. Both are controlled by diet and there is no reason to try and find another diagnosis than IBS if it is being controlled.

    Load More Replies...
    #29

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) $20,000 worth of credit card debt.

    edengetscreative , Emil Kalibradov/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Austin L
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine did not reveal roughly $87,000 of student loan debt until a couple years after we had moved in and already had at least 1 of the children but it was worth it for that associate's degree in a field they do not work in...

    Peggy Dodd
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I discovered $80,000 in credit card debt after my husband died. He'd taken cards out in my name, other cards in his name, and never told me about it. I'd trusted him with the finances and an inheritance from my grandmother. I loved him dearly but that was hard to get over.

    AlchemisT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If the person has the ability to pay and can pay for his/her needs without disruption, it is not a problem.

    Papa
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I disagree. The very fact that someone has that much credit card debt is a problem.

    Load More Replies...
    Clover
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This probably is quite common.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #30

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he can juggle lol like how did this not come up until after 8 years?

    DorkasaurusRex6 , Yi Liu/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only when you get married does the need to juggle things become paramount. Just ask my third and/or fifth wife.

    Justapanda
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What the heck is that picture 😆 🤣 😂

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A real juggler. That's what it looks like, not like Goofy does it where he holds out his hands and the balls describe a perfect circle.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #31

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Kids, his age, his felonies/attempt of m*rder charge, he didn’t own the house he was living like he said he did, a prior marriage. God that’s probably more but this was over 10 years ago.

    Unique-Connection-78 , Lukas Rychvalsky/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    DippityDooDerp
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn. That sounds suspiciously like my ex.

    Vishy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You think this is nasty. I was guest staying with a family. After lunch or dinner th whole family was tooting. It was nasty.

    #32

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he was contributing a percentage of his paycheck to a different bank account. I always knew he had another bank account (aka a personal account… we use our joint account for everything) but I always figured the money in it solely came from “odd jobs” and things of that nature. Then, one day, I saw his paystub, and noticed he was contributing $600 each pay check to his own personal account. It ended up causing the biggest fight we’ve ever had. I wasn’t upset/mad about the fact that he wanted a personal account or that he was contributing toward it- it was the fact that he hid it from me. After that, I set up my own personal account and started contributing $600 per paycheck to it as well.

    pbd1996 , Tima Miroshnichenko/Pexels (not the actual photo) Report

    Diolla
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is not bad, but the secrecy is

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think everyone should have a personal account in a marriage.

    David
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well, kudos to both of you that you have jobs that allow you to set aside $600 each every paycheck.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We always did 3 accounts - 1 joint for all the bills and one personal account for each of us. We put the same amount into the joint every payday and did what we wanted with the rest. Our one rule was that we'd discuss any personal purchases over $200 - not to ask permission, just as an FYI (and admittedly, sometimes to stop each other from buying stupid sh*t).

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If these $600 deposits are causing division, they can just direct deposit both of them to me and be happy with their sense of closure.

    El Cucuy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem, as the OP stated was "it was the fact that he hid it from me"

    Load More Replies...
    Hodge Elmwood
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't imagine making enough money that r could spare $600 per check just for savings.

    Lisa Delgado
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm confused as to why OP is concerned about how much he contributes to his personal account. As long as what he contributes to the joint account is sufficient, there's no problem. My husband and I have a joint account and we each have a personal account. I don't know how much he puts into his personal account and he doesn't know how much I put into mine.

    PrettyJoyBird
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yall sound like you each make a LOT of money. To not know how much ec contributes AFTER bills. Did you both grow up wealthy?

    Load More Replies...
    Barbara Saunders
    Community Member
    9 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, a friend of mine had a secret account that came in handy when her husband had a nervous breakdown, took up drinking, and quit his job, just as the eldest child was applying to college.

    Gary Geracci
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You both must have damn good jobs to contribute $600.00 each paycheck

    Sunshine
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who can afford to set aside $600 per paycheck?!

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #33

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Substance addiction.

    devinmoore0315 , Annie Spratt/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Hugh Cookson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly far too common nowadays - so much for he outdated 'war on d***s' mantra being relevant almost 50 years after the idiot Reagan coined it. Find another way, implement it and sort the problem out - yup, it's going to be difficult but in the long run, surely it will benefit everyone !!

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof. That's a hard nope for me. I'd be outta there.

    Saphyre Fyre
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Without even trying to get him to get help to get clean?? Don't get married. Marriage isn't all fun and games, happy 24/7. Sometimes one needs their spouse's support to be able to tackle the demons.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #34

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he cheated on me and had a kid.

    Lolabelle1223 , Diego Lozano/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    that_gay_snake(he/they)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    nope. leave him and don't pay money to support him in any way

    #35

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) We (thankfully) didn’t get married, but…I knew he had 2 kids from two previous women. I didn’t know about the other 3 from two other women until after we moved in. After we broke up he went on to have 2 more with two other women. He doesn’t take care of a single one.

    sunnysideup2323 , Jonathan Borba/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    kelsischloe1986
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nick Cannon is not in any way like this. Nick takes care of his kids and is an active part of their lives.

    Load More Replies...
    Bluonthefront
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Males like this need court ordered vasectomies

    Bluonthefront
    Community Member
    3 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Males like this need to have court ordered vasectomies.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    That he loves smelling me with what he now phrases as "deep druggie breaths." And strangely enough also licking me (and I mean in a non-sexual way and not as a precursor to sex). Like, he'll smell my neck in the morning, lightly give me a peck on the shoulder and then also lightly lick it, as though for good measure or something! Very quirky but endearing as well.

    IwastesomuchtimeonAB Report

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he just loves how she smells and tastes. So maybe dog-like?

    Load More Replies...
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone is really into you. The chemistry is right. Great match. Imagine you are not attracted to your partners natural smell?

    The PanDA
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean... Sounds kinda nice!

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I miss being sniffalupaguss. Not into the licking but a good inhale with a hug and the sometimes the sniffes turns to huffs and then it's on! Got to sniff and tickle until she laughs uncontrollably

    #37

    That he was an abuser who had no interest in attempting to be a decent person after the honeymoon stage ended. Never saw it coming...

    effingusername123 Report

    BoredPossum
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How can you miss this? Where I come from, most people live together for a few years before they marry.

    Very Scary Dragon
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In about half of the USA, what you describe would be called "living in sin" and would get you disowned by most of your family. You have no idea how much I wish "half" was an exaggeration.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #38

    That he had severe erectile dysfunction. (We were Jehovah witnesses at the time so no sex before marriage).

    sheifale Report

    kiley767
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You would never purchase a car before taking for a test drive. Same goes with this.

    Richienotsorich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very sad for both of them. Maybe he didn't 'hide' it if he hadn't had sex previously, how would he know he had ED?

    FABULOUS1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get you shouldnt go around sleeping with everyone. But marrying someone and finding out after they have erectile dysfunction or their bad in bed seems horrible to me.

    Delenn
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And that is the reason you should have sex before marriage (and live together too)

    ElfVibratorGlitter
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well there are pills and pumps for that. And attachments and toys.

    Lyoness
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does that also mean no Viagra?

    Lisa Delgado
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahaha! How did he know he had ED if he didn't have sex before marriage?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #39

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Tons of childhood trauma he has yet to deal with and a p*rn addiction.

    Puzzled-Mushroom8050 , Greta Schölderle Möller/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    porn and sex addiction can be devestating, get help if you think you need it, life can be better

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There comes a point where you have to decide how much your childhood trauma is going to rule your life. But porn addiction? Nope. Why bother being married to someone for whom you know you'll never be enough?

    #40

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he had a secret brother! I found out the day of our wedding. Funnily enough I couldn't 100% trust my husband after that and yes - he was very secretive about what his plans were and what his thoughts were even on a daily chat basis! and thats one of the reasons I ended up leaving. Update: I wasnt aware of the brother because he had never been mentioned in the 2 years Id known my husband before we married. I get that men have a lot going on in their minds and I respect that it is the way many sort things out - but keeping the existence of a brother secret was shocking to me. Even the family never mentioned the brother - he wasn't even in family photos. And he was (still is) the nicest guy. Im out of my own way now - Im open to life and humans with all their foibles.

    Alone_Target_1221 , Kylo/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Fat Harry (Oi / You)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I get that men have a lot going on in their minds" - I think she vastly overestimates us. I'm still pondering my favourite dinosaur from the previous post.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #41

    I kept a major secret from my husband. I told him late at night about three months after we were married, but we’re together for 10 years. Me: “I have something to tell you. This is may be the most secure that I’ve felt in our relationship and I hope it doesn’t change how you feel about me.” Him: “ok” Me: “I’m a Nickelback fan.” And now I’ve told all of Reddit. Might delete later.

    Inappropriate_Ballet Report

    Cammy Mack
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as they stay away from that early "soft rock" sound they were known for and go straight for heavy metal, they're actually pretty good. His voice is far more suited to that genre.

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never understood the hate of Nickelback

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my. No nickel back on the wedding soundtrack? Disappointed

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #42

    He hid that he can learn how to cook anything. He applies the same attention to detail and care to everything he sets out to do. He makes corn tortillas that are as good as my grandma's.

    applebubbeline Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #43

    That he was an amazing piano player and could sculpt realistic objects.

    No_Cup_3574 Report

    Landithy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    *Hopes this person isn't dating Bernard Black*.

    #44

    That he can curse fluently in French.

    Jillredhanded Report

    JenniB
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you hear him say f*ck (spelled phoque in French) he is actually talking about seals lol

    #45

    That he enjoyed taunting, hitting, and was kinder to strangers than his wife and babies. He refused to get help for being an abuser.

    kimemily11 Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #46

    The first meal I made for him when dating was way too horrendously salty but he didn’t want to hurt my feelings telling me. It took him almost 3 years to let me know.

    Just_AnotherLabRat Report

    JenniB
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first breakfast I made my now husband was undercooked pancakes (yuck). Twenty five years later he handles the pancake making lol

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wasn't the first thing I made for my husband... but my pancakes are not that great... I am an amazing cook otherwise and everyone loves my cooking (except the pancakes). My husband ALWAYS does the grilling and pancaking making and helps other times when I am tired, sick, etc... He refers to his pancakes as Kick @$$ pancakes and I really think this is an insult to my pancakes.

    Load More Replies...
    maka paka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of my ex cooking a Kedgiree (fish) where the fish had gone off and i swallowed it down saying how nice it was (i ate first), she took one bite, said this is off, told me to stop eating and binned it, had food poisoning after, oh that was fun

    Lesley Relph
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My future hubs didn't tell me he was vegetarian when I invited him to dinner for our first date. I served roast chicken. He ate it.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #47

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He didn’t know how to use the washing machine

    fullpurplejacket , PlanetCare/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Bobby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to think "it's pretty simple how can anyone screw it up" then my son broke the washer on his first unsupervised load

    Javelina Poppers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom made us learn how to wash our own clothes and to cook. She said, "mom isn't always going to be around to coddle you." Thanks mom, training that's served me well.

    robin aldrich
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or was it intentional incompetence?

    #48

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) His bisexuality.

    LilMamiDaisy420 , Drew Hays/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does this matter if they are faithful? They chose you. If you are worried about their body count, regardless of gender, you have trust issues to handle. Its like being upset that they used to date both redheads and blonds and you are blond. If you are the first blond, maybe there's an issue but those redheads are their exes and don't matter otherwise.

    Kurtz Frausun
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    While it's true they chose you, it's still part of who you are. Marriage is about sharing yourself entirely with a person. And our sexual orientation plays a HUGE part in our daily lives. Why not tell the person you love who the real you is? And if they aren't comfortable with it, they weren't the right one.

    Load More Replies...
    Anna Ekberg
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This list was about secrets about partners found out after marriage. This post doesn't state if they are ok with this or not? I think this a decision to make each on their own. I mean i think the person in this situation should be able to decide if this feels right or wrong for them. This might be a dealbreaker to some people and there could be a million reasons for that.

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In the interest of having an open and honest marriage, I do think it's something that should be mentioned before marriage. If they are monogamous it's fine, but it's nice to know who you are married to.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The more you know about what your partner likes in bed, the more fun the sex is. And the more meaningful.

    Marcellus II
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shouldn't matter. Whether straight or bisexual, the question is whether you are inclined to be faithful or not, that's what they shouldn't be hiding.

    Full Name
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    If we are going to have trivial things like this on the list, then we should also have other trivia too. e.g. They weren't a big fan of Ocean Colour Scene or they preferred raspberries to strawberries.

    David Hale
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is NOT trivial. It is a serious part of who a person is. You are 100% wrong! Comparing apples to car tires.

    Load More Replies...
    #49

    I got super excited when we saw a Bigfoot museum in North Georgia and wanted to go. My husband was shocked. This is the day we learned we have different opinions on whether he’s real or not. Told me he might not of married me had he known my beliefs on Bigfoot. Guess it never came up before.

    55Sweeptheleg Report

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    im sorry but i dont think bigfoot is worthy of being a deal breaker... crazy, harmful conspiracy theories i can understand, but bigfoot is so innocent as far as beliefs go

    flower petals
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The flat Earth folks I couldn’t date because the belief depends on mind numbing stupidity, but Bigfoot is a kinda harmless belief.

    Load More Replies...
    Ace
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Err, you believe that Bigfoot is real and you think it's your partner that was hiding a secret?

    Tropical Tarot
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need to find this museum. I detoured to go to the Squidbillies statue in Ellijay, Georgia so definitely a Bigfoot museum.

    Load More Replies...
    May
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't see the harm in believing Big Foot might exist.

    Diana Lucas
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What wrong with believing in Bigfoot? If someone wants to believe in Bigfoot, go for it!

    sheetzy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't believe Bigfoot is real, but I would absolutely go the the Bigfoot Museum

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Try dating a potter fan or Disney fan. I will take big foot girl any day

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #50

    6 months in, he admitted to being in love with his ex from 5 years prior. I found the letter he wrote to her and confronted him about it, and then he admitted it. The letter tells her how he missed her, was still in love with her, could never love anyone else, and would do anything to get back with her.

    Msliz14 Report

    #51

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) He never graduated from college... Which all of us thought he had an associates related to physical therapy.

    misatomoscato , Charles DeLoye/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Maim
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope he isn't practicing physical therapy......

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #52

    A big ol destructive ragey temper.

    bethafoot Report

    #53

    How antisocial and rude his family actually is and just how mentally draining they can be. Also forgot to mention how controlling his mother is and how everyone uses him.

    popsum22 Report

    flower petals
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you marry into a family, this can be a nasty surprise. Best to know in advance!

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #54

    Probably that he had no interest in maintaining a relationship after marriage. He just left it and made zero effort anymore, carried on with his own life as if I wasn't a factor in it. He also lied a lot and did cheat at least once (he didn't consider happy endings cheating, I do.) so I'm sure that happened prior to marriage as well. He's now my ex.

    Iworkinfashionblah Report

    Jinx (she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lmao, the list of disloyal activities some people dont consider cheating is long and ridiculous

    robin aldrich
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it seems to be the fun of the chase for some men. once they "catch" you...no more attention to the relationship.. (I speak from a personal experience)

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #55

    1. That he was actually an introvert, despite saying he was an extrovert. This means we have a very different life to the one pre-marriage / cohabitation and potentially one I would not have opted into. 2. That despite nodding and smiling and saying all the right things before hand, he didn’t actually want to put our relationship first to ensure we were rock solid for our potential children. The second I was pregnant I became in effect his gestational carrier. Makes him a great dad and a practically non-existent husband.

    onandonwego123 Report

    #56

    That my ring was picked out and designed by his ex wooooo.

    firsttimemamachloe Report

    Me Oh My (He/They)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This one's pretty harmless, but also SUPER weird.

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ok, there is a big difference here if the ring was picked out and designed for his ex then he gave it to you (BIG NO-NO)!!!! If his ex was a jewelry designer and they were still friends/on good terms and she helped him pick it out and design it and sold it to him specifically for her, then I think that might be ok. I rather do business with someone who knows and understands me especially if it is something personal.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #57

    That he had a thing for taking photos of me when I was asleep/ medicated. Well not just me, it was all of his partners he ever had, oh and some friends. This wasn't just a few photos either. I only found how deep this rabbit hole went after I ended our relationship.

    CatsbeeCats Report

    Javelina Poppers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Worked with a guy who took pictures of his wife sleeping nude and had them on his toolbox at work for the whole shop to see.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #58

    That he had a DUI. That he actually did not have the college degree he said he had (found that out during the divorce). I am pretty sure he hid lots of other things too, but I try not to think about it now.

    waltrautfishing Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #59

    He was an addict. He was addicted to shopping, s*x, gambling, and m*th.

    giglbox06 Report

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, math addiction is really an epidemic!

    Dread Pirate Roberts
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did he manage to hide all of that? Especially the meth 😳

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was addicted to playing sax and math and he did all the shopping. He was probably good at gambling with all the math he did

    View more comments
    #60

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) Oh yeah and he thinks of k*lling people multiple times a day, every single day. Shoulda believed him.

    Beckalouboo , Nappy/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Jeevesssssss
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The photo used really bothers me, BP.

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What, dude's thinking of people from the village of Kelling, Norfolk, every day, all day long? This is hard, there are, like, 177 people there! And it seems that the village had a reputation for smuggling, so maybe he has some stuff he need to import without going through customs?

    Strings
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait... I have those thoughts every day, as well. Then again, I work retail during the day, so...

    View more comments
    #61

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) That he has ADHD. Our son was recently diagnosed with it and that’s when it came out.

    Starlettohara23 , Steven Fortier/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    Nicola Mawson
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same. My ex has an irregular heart beat. Would have been useful to know

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You couldn't tell before? Does it make a difference? In sickness and in health. Maybe you should get checked out

    Nano Iders
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Is the man in the picture the husband OP is talking about? If not I don't get ADHD vibes from a guy smiling to the camera.

    Natalia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It says "not the actual photo" underneath

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #62

    That he has Asthma and has an inhaler…we’ve been together 10 years.

    ireallylikecowsok Report

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that’s something a partner should know!

    #63

    My ex husband hid the fact that he dropped out of high school. We had lots of issues though, but I found this fact out from his cousin who didn’t know that I didn’t know. She said something like, “I’m so proud of him for where he is in life. He came so far after dropping out of high school.” And I was standing there looking at her like a deer in headlights. His dropping out would NOT have been a dealbreaker, but I never got over his lying (on top of a sh*tload of other issues).

    lotoseater Report

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was the straw that broke the camel's back.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #64

    That he’s as much a foodie as me. He always seemed to be kinda “meh” when it came to food and it was partly because of his many food allergies. Now? After 3 years of marriage he is just as much invested in food as I am. Sometimes more than me. We watch so many cooking shows together now and he’s learning so much about cooking…… his skills are rivaling mine haha!

    JDMOokami21 Report

    #65

    He assumed that after we got married we’d start going everywhere together and doing everything together. I’m an introvert who has always been open about needing a lot of time to myself. It was a struggle for a while.

    laurel-eye Report

    Judy Reynolds
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need alone time, but since Covid, I have not been getting it. He simply doesn't understand.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm an introvert. My wife is an extrovert who gets me.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #66

    After 28 years of marriage, I found out that my husband had been a D & D nerd before we met. We were alternative-grunge people when we married. Honestly, I don’t know if I would have dated him to begin with, had I known that, but I’m glad I did! He’s a super sweet guy and would/does do anything for me. 💗.

    InternationalAir2918 Report

    Bored something
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    D&D is so much fun.! Especially now our kids are old enough to play too.

    Kat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't wait for our little guy to be old enough. (If he's interested)

    Load More Replies...
    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hmm.... many, many, MANY alternative/grunge/metal/punk folks I ever met was much into D&D and other rpl's of all sorts. So I don't really understand how this could come as a surprise. Lol.

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My thoughts exactly, this is 99% of my friend group

    Load More Replies...
    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please give D&D a try, it can be such a delightful game!

    #67

    His anger issues 😞.

    Crazy_Ad4505 Report

    #68

    Their first-degree misdemeanor charge. Since divorced.

    K1ndr3dSoul Report

    madbakes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish this was more specific. This could mean so many things.

    Pheebs
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, though for a misdemeanor it’s probably petty theft or DUI. Where I live, it also generally means no property or person damage.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #69

    He deliberately, with full malice of forethought deceived me into thinking he was an adventurous eater when he is the pickiest eater alive. Take heed-- this is a valid reason for a long engagement. He'd have never been able to keep up the façade much longer than he did, so if I had given it some time I could have made an informed decision about spending the rest of my life with a man who wasn't try anything new, or a casserole.

    Aunt_Anne Report

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well dear, I’m sorry you’re a picky eater but casserole is what’s for dinner.

    Javelina Poppers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have my limits, but very few. When in Thailand for a year in the 70s, I ate from street vendors, floating markets, you name it. Most I liked, some I didn't and it was an adventure and it sure didn't kill my farang a s s.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In other words, he tried to please you.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #70

    That he pronounces “gif” as “jif.” Horrifying.

    redtailedrabbit Report

    Natalia
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is how it's supposed to be pronounced, unfortunately!

    Bobby
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't agree with the creator on the pronunciation. The g stands for graphics. That's a hard g, so logically the acronym should also have a hard g

    Load More Replies...
    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let it go. Its been 37 years. We all know what a person means. Common usage means both are right.

    #71

    How much of a football fan he was. We met while we were both still in college so maybe he was too busy to watch? Or purposely hid it? I’m not sure but he’s an emotionally ridiculous man-child whenever his team is on. It’s infuriating because I hate sports and his reactions. Other than that, a very solid marriage.

    Oubliette_95 Report

    Lene
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have begun to help my kids to bed early if there's handball or football/soccer on TV because my otherwise quiet and calm bf will yell and scream and hit his hands so hard onto the table that the kids get scared. I try to talk to him about it and he says: "oh, I'm just being patriotic". Uuhhmm.... no, sweetheart, you're being an aggressive a-hole. Because anyone who makes my kids scared even AFTER they have been informed of it... well, they are a-holes, imo. But when he doesn't watch sports he's a nice and quiet dude.

    Austin L
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The social behavior of sport-spectators has always confused me greatly.

    FABULOUS1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I loved my wife more after meeting her when we realized we both loved the same football team. Which is best because she would of had a lonely season on the couch. 😂

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #72

    We’ve been together since we were 14, he admitted to me 6 years after marriage that he lost his virginity to me which was a shock because when we met I was under the impression he has slept with a couple girls already. Biggest shock lol.

    mami_mundo8 Report

    MrsFettesVette
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good lord, how did he justify having multiple partners at the tender age of 14? Wtf

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You thought he was a sexual veteran at 14?

    #73

    That he doesn't understand how to use cleaning supplies. I asked him to wipe down the table and he used hand sanitizer rather than a Lysol spray or wipe. I often catch him using windex for wiping down the kitchen counters or cleaning up floor messes. Most people would use a paper towel where it's completely open or folded up neatly- not him, he crinkles the paper towel immediately before wiping his mouth or cleaning a mess and I keep having to remind him that he's wasting a lot of surface space on the paper towel. He uses a wet wipe before using toilet paper. I always thought use the toilet paper first, then wipe with a wet wipe to clean/freshen your b******e but nope, he says the wet wipe gets it all clean immediately and then the TP dries his butt. That's fair. The man is wicked smart when it comes to numbers. But that common sense is truly lacking with him. Sometimes I just stare at him when he's cleaning and wonder how he got here. But ultimately, it isn't hurting anyone so I walk away lol.

    moremacadonimorechee Report

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, except... "But ultimately, it isn't hurting anyone so I walk away lol."

    Load More Replies...
    Somethingpenguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like me: kinda good at math, but has absolutely no common sense or an idea of what is etiquette

    Somethingpenguin
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    (context: my dad is friends with a lot of semi-important people, and is one himself, but I have no idea what to do when I visit him, or go on a trip with him)

    Load More Replies...
    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband cleans things differently than I do. It’s hard to watch sometimes but if I badger him about it then he stops doing it. So, if he’s cleaning something so I don’t have to - then it isn’t wrong.

    Justin Rogers
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it clean? Yes. Lysol is a carcinogenic and promotes super bacteria. Windex especially with vinegar actually cleans better and leaves nothing behind. Crumpled cleaning is weird but I assume it's a texture/ comfort thing. I wonder how you got anyone anywhere with your holier than thou attitude

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Eh. Windex on the counters isn't bad. It's got ammonia in it which has disinfecting properties. Actually, so does hand sanitizer. At least he takes initiative to clean. My partner won't even wipe up the crumbs after making toast.

    john doe
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please don't use wet wipes to clean your rear! I work in wastewater and these "flushable" wipes are anything but. They cause constant backups in the sanitary sewer system and are a huge pain in the a s s to deal with. There was recently a big lawsuit in the US that the various municipal wastewater systems won against various manufacturers of these wipes and we got some money to repair the damage that was done by these things. If regular TP doesn't work for you look into getting a bidet instead, everyone needs to cut it out with the wipes.

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wet wipes are fine if that's all you have access to for better cleanliness. So long as you treat them like menstrual products and wrap them in a couple squares of regular toilet paper to be tossed the bathroom garbage can.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #74

    That his step-father, whom officiated our wedding, said that he thought I was only with my husband for his money when he told him we were marrying a handful of months before. Also, surprise, there was never any money… Still isn’t.

    WitchyHealer Report

    #75

    That he knows all the lyrics to the entire Smurf’s Go Pop album.

    CAPalmer1 Report

    #76

    That he was so unable to communicate about perceived conflict that he would rather suggest food, activities, and future plans that he thought I would like but he didn’t like than possibly suggest the opposite, resulting in growing confusion on my part and increasing resentment on his part if I didn’t like an activity he suggested or if I thought I was capitulating to an activity or plan he suggested (when in reality he didn’t want to do it at all). He became more and more unhappy but insisted everything was fine and we were good. After he asked for a divorce it all came out. I have no idea how much of my marriage was a lie. All of the things we did that I thought we had fun doing may have been things he didn’t even like. It’s been absolutely mind boggling to understand retrospectively. If you ever see this happening in your relationship, please get couples communication therapy! This didn’t have to happen and it was so awful for both of us.

    LatrodectusGeometric Report

    Dragon mama
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was the same for me. A total mind-f.uck. I am still trying to figure out who I am and what I like 10 years later.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #77

    His performance anxiety, his road rage, his triggers… But time has also exposed his desire to be better.

    NeverNotSuspicious Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #78

    How much he farts. He held all that gas in for 3 damn years. Like damn.

    prettydotty_ Report

    Lee Banks
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't burp. You can figure out what that means. I warned my dude the day he asked me to move in.

    #79

    Kissing makes him uncomfortable.

    Tiny-Act3086 Report

    #80

    He has a life-sized cutout of Will Ferrell’s character from Anchorman just folded under his bed. Got it from an old neighbor who worked at a movie theater years ago. I only found this out because he randomly mentioned it in passing during a conversation. We’re not married yet and have been together for a couple years now.

    useallofthenames Report

    Rafael
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, there's still time to run! :-)

    FABULOUS1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My wife has a life size cutout of retired LA Ram Aaron Donald, and every bobble head of him and other players everywhere. Sadly I purchased many of them.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #81

    “What Did Your Spouse Hide From You Until After You Were Already Married?” (40 Answers) There is a curse on his family.

    CauliflowerBoomerang , Kayla Maurais/Unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    this is something you should know very early in the relationship

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Consider whether you are part of the family or part of the curse.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #82

    That he never actually wanted to get married or have the responsibilities that have to do with having a family. He just loved the chase and the satisfaction when I finally agreed to start daring him, but after he knew he 'got me', he lost interest pretty much lol.

    trentovna Report

    #83

    That he had a load of debt from being tricked into a local art school, and his inability to change or grow as a person because he got fed the lie that "we don't hit women under any circumstance" and then blamed me for being hurt by a woman i directly told him not to be alone with saying i should have done something its been 5 years of only me working and i want out so damn bad.

    LunettaBadru901 Report

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how do you get tricked into art school

    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do you not change or grow as a person because you weren't allowed to hit women?

    Load More Replies...
    maka paka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave asap - you have 1 life, don't waste it being miserable

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honey, leave. No matter how hard it is out there, it's easier when you don't have to worry about someone else's problems, only your own.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #84

    His fascination with serial killers and enjoyment of movies like 10 Things I Hate About You.

    I-Am-Not-Ok-Thx Report

    AlchemisT
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everyone has a fantasy world, damn it.

    Roan The Demon Kitty
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    given how popular true crime is, I'm hesitant to say this is that much of a problem, unless he begins to idolise certain killers or seems to think on also becoming a killer.

    Chewie Baron
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he likes Shakespeare?

    FABULOUS1
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No fascination with serial killers, she just likes to watch true crime every damn day.

    meeeeeeeeeeee
    Community Member
    1 year ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    He sounds like a typically girly

    #85

    That he knows how to install hardwood floors and did NOT let me know when we put new floors in our house (I got LVP, but now I know I could have gotten hardwood). I think about this a lot.

    Elaine330 Report

    Two_rolling_black_eyes
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know how to butcher a hog but I never want to do that again. I'll buy cuts of pork at the store and cut them up at home but there's no corpse hanging from a tree. Hardwood floors are so much more effort to install and maintain. If you have bad knees from installing them and sawdust in your lungs still from sanding them afterwards. you'll gladly take the pain in your knees to get the LVP done faster for love but still save your body.

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The pre-finished engineered hardwood is easy to install and easy to maintain.

    Load More Replies...
    Giraffy Window
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I know how to paint ceilings, but I hate it and it hurts me, and I'd rather either not paint them or hire someone.

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Knowing how to share decisions may be the most important skill in any marriage.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #86

    That he had histrionic personality disorder and was struggling with depression. Found out while 4 months pregnant.

    p4tend_p3nding Report

    Alexandra
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He should have told you before you got pregnant. There's an hereditary element to mental disease that needs to be adressed prior to starting a family.

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #87

    He was still smoking.

    ButtHoleNurse Report

    Ephemera Image
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ugh. Can't stand the smell. And it's like kissing an ashtray.

    Roy
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When did you kiss an ashtray, and why?

    Load More Replies...
    #88

    He always pretended to be “the cool guy” at work. I always had some doubts about this because of what an introvert he is, but was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, knowing he can be social with the right people. He was NOT the cool guy.

    JoyfulSuicide Report

    Michael Largey
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a complete introvert - except in front of an audience. This guy may be like that too.

    #89

    That his ex wife had serious mental health issues. My expectation was having “us” time every other weekend and one night a week since he had primary custody. Instead a month into our marriage his ex was hospitalized and we were driving his daughter to see his mother in long term hospital care every weekend. It took up our Saturdays.

    WastingMyLifeOnSocMd Report

    maka paka
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless he caused it, his ex's mental issues have nothing to do with his new gf/wife/friend etc. And he was being a good dad making sure his daughter saw her mum. This is exactly what i would do if something happened to the mother of my children and if my gf didn't like it she'd be gone. (Kids come first)

    Justme
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kids always come first no matter what. Just a few months into my relationship with my now-husband, his teenage son went through some mental health issues that got him into legal trouble. I took a few days off work to help look through the mountains when he disappeared for a few days. I’ll never be my step kids mom but I’ll put everything aside to find them and get them the help they need like a mom would.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But his caring about his daughter's mother and daughter by doing this is the biggest GREEN FLAG ever..

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT