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20 People Share What Made Them Notice Their Friends Have A Bad Marriage
Article created by: Mindaugas Balčiauskas
Having a healthy romantic relationship is a lot of hard work! It’s not something that simply turns out well if you ignore it. You constantly have to put in the effort to make it flourish. Without effort, it’s slowly going to wither. Spouses who disrespect and avoid each other, don't show interest in one another, and have poor conflict resolution are at risk of getting divorced.
The r/AskReddit community, inspired by one internet user, revealed some of the subtle and overt signs that someone’s marriage is on the rocks. We’ve collected their top red flags to share with you. Scroll down to see what behavior should be cause for concern.
Bored Panda reached out to the author of the thread, redditor u/AnitaDickenme123. They were kind enough to share their thoughts about the importance of trust and respect, as well as how to communicate about problems in long-lasting relationships. You’ll find our full interview with them as you read on.
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#1
They're just always in a bad mood when they're around their spouse. This was the case with my best friend. I had only ever known her after she met her spouse, and she was always so low energy, easily irritated, and generally unhappy, mostly around him. It was so much a part of their dynamic that I (shamefully) assumed thats who she was. After a nasty split, she's become so much happier, lighter, and more herself. She started telling me about all the emotional abuse (and borderline physical abuse) after he was gone. I'm very happy and proud of her for getting out of it.
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#2
Sleeping on the couch. I slept on the couch for a year because of insomnia.. got a divorce and my insomnia went away within what seems like days.
#3
Never wants to go home, doesn’t like bringing their spouse as plus one, speaking poorly of spouse, future plans sound more “I” than “We”, and lack of excitement around the holidays
#4
Ummm, his wife came into the office one day and he introduced her to me as "his future ex-wife" with a sly smile.
Yeah, they're divorced now.
#6
Lesser known symptom: working long hours habitually. I knew a guy that wasted tons of time in the office, but worked every night until 7:00 or 8:00 because he clearly hated his wife and daughters. Also works for people who spend all their time volunteering to get out of the house. They always complain about how busy they are, but they have no problem talking to you while working.
#7
She told me her husband said he would babysit their children so we could go out. Last time I checked taking care of your own kids was called parenting not babysitting!
#8
They flirt a lot. A lot of unhappily married people I know are quick to flirt with anyone who seems interested because they want to feel that spark again.
#10
My ex was so fake when we went anywhere involving other couples. But as soon as the car door closed to leave, the witch returned. My friends saw through her. She was torture.
#12
They never communicate, even over the simplest things. Feelings, plans, thoughts, life needs etc…
#13
They’re constantly making snide remarks about their spouse and then saying “it’s just a joke!”
Edit to add: I’m not talking about easy going picking on your spouse, I mean very mean clearly sensitive subject type of remarks.
#16
When they don’t care what the other person is doing or where they are . Basically, two people who live separate lives and live like roommates.
#18
For me, the big sign that things had fully unraveled in my marriage when I would go out with friends and I would get absolutely obliterated drunk. I’d have so much fun being with my friends and not currently coping with my god awful marriage that I’d just go overboard and get totally wrecked.
So glad those days and that life is behind me
#19
Look at their face when they get a cell phone call and see that it's from their spouse. Tells you everything.
#20
If they're plastering social media with how HAPPY they are, and they're SO IN LOVE, and THEY'RE GOING TO BE TOGETHER FOREVER, that's a sure sign that things are in the process of going sideways.
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