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“No Social Skills” And Other 35 Signs That Someone Grew Up With Helicopter Parents
Have you ever met someone who seemed to be kind of unprepared for the life of an adult? Maybe they struggle with certain social skills, are a little naive, or something else that you can find mentioned in today's list.
Well, turns out it might stem from a person's childhood. To be more specific, it might be a sign that they had a pretty sheltered one, which "forces" them to exhibit these quirks. And while it can sometimes be a tad endearing, in other cases it's pretty troubling. Read up and decide which sign is which!
More info: Reddit
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#1
As someone who actually grew up sheltered.
My answer is having no social skills or any real life experience.
I am still trying to undo the damage of growing up the way I have has done to me, and I am 26. Don't shelter your children.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
I didn't grow up particularly sheltered but my social skills are less than nothing. There are other reasons...
RELATED:
#2
I s**t you not I went to high school with a girl who thought people only died in movies. Her parents wanted her to “stay their little girl” as long as they could. We had a say no to d***s showing and she passed out.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
At school we watched a video of childbirth. Funny how the big-ærse bullies were the first ones on the floor.
#3
They think that if they lost at something (like an election) then the other person must have cheated.
Multa Nocte 4 months ago
What? No one could ever believe that if they lost an election that someone else must have cheated. Only a complete, utter, moronic, self-indulgent baby child/asshole could ever think - er, sorry, er, well, um . . . .
It’s programmed into most parents to be protective of their children. After all, it’s their youngling—it’s their offspring; they are responsible for their well-being in this world. Yet, some parents take it too far and become overprotective.
Overprotective parents often go beyond necessary measures to shield their children from various things, such as harm, failure, or disappointment. It is explained that overprotectiveness stems from the fear of these aforementioned things and the unknown, and from personal experiences.
#4
Have a friend ive known for 25 years, he has an insane helicopter mom
> refuses to eat anything that isn't a plain, well done burger
>has never traveled, explored hobbies outside of games, interacted with women.
>very socially stunted because he has no passions or experinces to draw from
>deathly afraid to try anything new, especially foods. Very inconvenient
>still working minimum wage at 33 because mother doesn't let him take a manager job
>strict curfew at 33
> very poorly dressed.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
Had a manager job - absolutely hated it. Now I'm the chief bog scrubber with pathetic pay but I know that the moment I clock out I don't need to think about work until the next day when I clock in. There's no "just finish this at home" or "you're paid by day not by hour and your seven hour days are more like nine" and all the other ruses. I'd rather less pay and zero stress and time by myself than being wedded to Teams and those endless important meetings that take so much time that could be dealt with as a five line email. Eff that ess!
#5
Once they’re exposed to the things they were sheltered from (the opposite s*x, d***s, alcohol), they go completely off the rails overindulging in it.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
Has happened to many a college student. I wasn't necessarily sheltered, but my mom cooked most of my meals - balanced, healthy ones - at home. Eating whatever I wanted on my own I started gaining weight which led to an ED. Was not fun.
#6
They have little to no social life because they weren't allowed to go outside and play with friends growing up.
source: me. Most of my childhood was spent in front of a television or reading books.
Glen Ellyn 4 months ago
This is absolutely fine for a lot of us. Especially in today's world with so many angry and hateful people around. It's a shame, but that's the way it is.
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Janissary35680 4 months ago
Oh I was allowed. I just realized there were better ways to spend my time.
Lila Allen 4 months ago
Why deal with reality when fictional worlds are so so much better.
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CD Mills 4 months ago
I spent a lot of time reading, up a tree. I was a nature-loving bookworm. I spent the other half of my time being a tomboy with my older brother who taught me to be a proper little brother even though I was his little sister. I had the best of both worlds! 😁
Tonja Jackson 1 month ago
Me too! I am an avid bookworm still. I will wear a dress if I HAVE to but at work I wear steel-toed boots and deliver bus parts for the county transit agency (my profile picture was taken at work!).
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Kakashisith 1 month ago
I knowingly preferred reading and games to "friends", cause my school bullies were literally my neighbor`s kids, when I was young. They were older than me, so I just stayed inside, where it was peaceful.
Lorraine Woollands 4 months ago
I don't know if my mum was a helicopter parent , I was a only child. I was painfully shy, my mum was one that said and did things like (talk to people, they think you are antisocial, then she would answer for me when people did talk to me. She would say make friends, then said things like not them, they are too old for you or they are too young for you, or don't talk to them we don't like the family. Something else as I got older was go out make friends, but be back by 8 o'clock, even in my late teens. ) I am 60 years old now and suffer from anxiety and depression and agoraphobia, all I believe brought on by my childhood. I live alone, don't go out and don't have any friends , and I am very lonely.
Dorothy Smith 3 months ago
You have whatever it takes to have a friend and to be a friend. Step out and forward a little at a time..you are worthy.
Load More Replies...Some folks tend to call them helicopter parents. The term was coined back in 1990 by child development researchers Foster Cline and Jim Fay to describe a parent who “hovers over a child like a helicopter.”
Either way, helicopter parenting often leads to the kids growing up sheltered. Basically, a kid is raised in continuous comfort and security, which is nice while they’re growing up, but becomes rather a problem when they’re an adult. That’s because such a cozy environment doesn’t prepare them for the various difficulties grown-ups have to deal with and it stunts their social skills.
#7
They have strong opinions yet they can't explain why they have them.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
They've been told what to think. I imagine that letting different information into their brains is very painful and disturbing to them.
#8
A colleague once told me, very seriously, that there is no such thing as a bad parent.
#9
Have made no mistakes to learn from,
Assume all of their knowledge is all of everyone's knowledge and that the sources are legitimate.
WindySwede 4 months ago
#2: that's why homeshooling should be banned. (Without really specific reasons?)
Does this make you wonder whether you grew up sheltered? Or maybe whether you ever met people who grew up like this? Well, here’s where today’s listicle comes to help. In it, you will find a plethora of signs that someone grew up sheltered.
Granted, these aren’t official criteria made by psychologists or other specialists, only the things netizens who answered the question on Reddit “What are clear signs that someone grew up sheltered?” have noticed throughout their lives, so take it with a grain of salt.
#10
They get a little nervous when a show or movie for adults comes on. In my experience a lot of these types of people were never allowed to watch anything rated PG-13 or higher and they subconsciously still fear getting in trouble over it.
#11
Guy I knew in college grew up very wealthy, where even his parents were even living high on the hog off their parents earnings. None of them worked a day in their lives as their earnings were all passive. Anyway, he couldn't feed himself. Literally starved for several days before he was taught about the cafeteria. He always just had food brought to him by servants at the appropriate times and when it didn't appear he didn't know what to do. He was also just generally clueless about life and living, no independence bone in his body.
#12
Never locking the doors of their house.
I know someone who grew up in a very sheltered little suburb, what you might call a bubble. They now live in a somewhat dodgy area, but half the time they don’t even bother locking their doors. I don’t understand why… It’s such a tiny amount of effort, and it could save you a lot of trauma, your possessions, and possibly your life.
Okay, now that we've figured out what signifies a sheltered person, how can one get rid of the consequences of such a childhood? Well, as it usually goes with problems that stem from a person's psyche, therapy is the best way to go about it.
A professional can provide a safe space for a person to unpack everything, from emotions to experiences, and can help them figure out a way to work through the struggles it causes. For instance, they can help identify behavior patterns that turn into unhealthy coping mechanisms and turn them into healthier ones. You get the gist.
#13
When they tell you something that is common knowledge as if it's some obscure fact because they just learned it.
My roommate seems to have never been taught how to clean as a kid. Like, he's not lazy or a jerk. He just legitimately *does not know* how to recognize when something needs cleaning or how to go about cleaning it. When he's trying to be helpful, he still asks me pretty much exactly what he should do because he can't just look at something, recognize it needs doing, and do it.
Anyway, he's been trying to be more independent and pro-active, and the other day he was like "so it turns out that because bathrooms get wet, the dust that accumulates in them kinda gets matted down, and then you have to really scrub or wipe it down in order to get rid of it." He was telling me this like it's a little-known fact or some kind of revelation. I don't want to make anybody feel stupid for learning new things, so I was just kinda like "oh yeah, that's a good observation.".
#14
-acting like manual labor workers are "dumb"
-complaining about waiters, tipping poorly and making comments like "well, they should have gone to college"
-general lack of empathy and an overstated feeling of righteousness.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
That doesn't necessarily come from being sheltered. Some people are just mean-spirited and thrive on feeling like they're better than everyone else.
#15
My husband bless his heart one of the most intelligent person I know, grew up middle class, and thought if you missed the due date on a utility bill they shut it off the next day. He had no idea they don’t shut off the day it’s due and that you could go in person at a cash checking place and pay part of it and that if they do shut it off because you so late, you get charged a reconnection fee. He was appalled by all of that.
Besides therapy, there are several other things that can be done. Here, on this Reddit thread, cybercitizens give plenty of options.
Volunteering can help one develop social skills, meet people, and give back to the community. Or, reading specific books on the topic. These are just a few examples – it all depends on exactly what a person lacks and what they want to work on. The good news is that it’s all doable.
Have you ever met someone who grew up sheltered? Or maybe you were the one? If you don’t mind, open up about your experiences with us in the comments!
#16
They act shocked about consequences, literally shocked.
They are baffled when people don't want to do stuff for them. They truly think others should be completely onboard for catering to them.
They constantly seek out someone to fight their battles. .
Wat Tyler's Revenge 4 months ago
These are people that were never told no, have never done sport, and have rarely, if ever, faced any obstacles at all. When the SHTF, they'll be the first to go.
#17
Entitlement and can barely function as independent adults. They can usually manage their own hygiene, but can't cook, clean, do laundry, do taxes, figure out a budget or menu for the week etc.
It's even worse if they expect their romantic partners to make up the difference - that's not a partner, that's a surrogate parent.
#18
They think just call the police solves everything. Like ma’am… this isn’t a Hallmark movie.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
Amateurs. If you really want something solved, solicit the assistance of those kindly middle-aged women that renovate gardens.
#19
Seeing someone's way of life that's different from yours and automatically deeming it as weird or assuming stereotypes.
Austzn 4 months ago (edited)
This isn't a sheltering issue either, this is just normal life in your everyday evangelical US Christian church. Personally, I'm interested in people who are different from me and want to know about them. If they are twats, I'll figure them out pretty quick typically. HA. got one over on BP, "t**t, t**t, t**t" 🤣 Edit:Dang, they caught onto some of the words.
#20
Inability to admit to being a nepo baby.
Imo there’s actually nothing wrong with that and it doesn’t mean nepo babies can’t work hard and have their efforts recognized. If I were really wealthy and decided to have kids I would absolutely provide them with as many tools to become as successful, well rounded adults as possible. But it grinds my gears when someone refuses to admit how much easier it was to get to where they are because they were given better opportunities.
My SO and I had an ex-friend who is a recently graduated and board certified dentist and works full time at his parents’ clinic… both of whom are also dentists. He is an only child, only ever went to private school in Canada, studied at NYU for undergrad and dental school, but never had to work to afford tuition AND had a healthy allowance from parents as an adult. The only work experience he ever had was dental admin work for his parents during the summers in between. One time he told us that one time a patient of his called him a nepo baby and it really upset him because he “worked really hard”. Seriously??
#22
Saying they don’t do something because their parents wouldn’t approve, even though they’re an adult.
Worrying about how their parents will react to them doing normal things adults do, like having a cocktail or driving at night.
Being shocked by other people doing normal things adults do, like cursing or mentioning that they’re queer.
Not knowing any bands or artists that aren’t Christian.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
That's the point of these big mega churches with their own cinemas and constant forms of activities and entertainment. They do not want their members interacting with the world. They want them to stay in their big, cozy bubble.
#23
Automatically believing everyone you meet is benevolent and has good intentions.
Mel in Georgia 4 months ago
There's a balance to be had. A sheltered kid can also be taught to believe that everyone is horrible and you can't trust anyone. I think I'd rather be the trusting type.
#24
They are scared of a lot of people who are not like them, they call other situations weird, because of their unworldliness. Every Mormon woman I have met act like this when they come across marginilized people, urban people, or gay people. They act all scared and s**t.
Rick Murray 4 months ago
They're probably taught some nonsense like those people have the devil inside them and staying too close for too long will taint their soul...
#25
- Having very little desire to travel to anywhere they haven’t already been
- thinking the nearest city is dangerous, no matter what, and a deep distrust of teachers, doctors or other professionals (except cops)
- either really /really/ clueless about money or hyper vigilant about how they spend their money, in ways that show that they aren’t used to earning their own money
- crash out HARD freshman year of college when they have a taste of freedom/have to manage their own time & routines.
#26
Inability to handle emotional discomfort and/or uncertainty.
#27
They don't know how to clean anything.
Artful Penguin 4 months ago
My brother's first wife didn't know how to clean because her mom wouldn't teach her. Her mom cleaned the whole house with bleach every single day, and didn't trust anyone else so she never taught her kids. My SIL could cook amazing meals, was very independent, great mom. But when she washed dishes, we had to go back after her and rewash most of them. Never said anything though because she was a total sweetheart.
#28
Sheltered people often seem naive, unaware of real world struggles like money or jobs, and shocked by adult topics.
They avoid conflict, trust too easily, and lack basic life skills.
Overprotected, they rely on parents, crumble under stress, and struggle with independence, needing experience to adapt.
Janet Sparrow 3 months ago
This summer was the first summer my 17 year-old granddaughter got a job. Initially, we were worried about her, but that girl got that working s**t in the first three days. She really liked it, she figured everything out, she started telling other people what to do, lol and she came away from that summer job a better person a more mature person. It’s really excellent for them to work because they’re not the center of attention at their job.
#29
They're completely helpless and can't do basic things. My friend's adult ex couldn't do laundry or even make a sandwich because his mommy did everything for him.
#30
They think institutions run on the values they claim instead of power, PR, optics, money, etc.
#31
I met a 23 year old woman who lived in Miami her whole life and she said Panera Bread was her favorite place to eat down there.
#32
Too trusting of others. Making decisions on emotions instead of facts. Emotionally immature. Falls for sales pitches and overspends.
#33
Either very trusting of people or distrusts anyone who is different (race, religion, ethnicity, nationality, etc.).
Nikki Sevven 3 months ago
Off topic, but all three of these young women are stunningly gorgeous.
#34
Not being allowed to do certain activities like sports, riding a bike, skateboarding etc because their parents were afraid of them getting hurt.
#35
Believing that 'the city' is dangerous despite never experiencing crime or knowing anyone who has experienced crime in the city.
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What do you think ?
Artful Penguin 4 months ago
Raised in a religious household. No movie theaters, no secular music, no pants etc. Moved to a different state when I was 14 yrs old and had to go to public school. I got to wear jeans! Learned what p0t smelled like. Learned that babies are not, in fact, conceived when the happy couple kisses on their wedding day, and are not born through the belly button.
R Dennis 4 months ago
I interviewed a teenager for a job at Panera. Her mom sat down right next to her. I told the mom I was interviewing the teen and that I needed her to go to a different table. She moved behind me practically touching the back of my head. When another manager asked how it went, I said she seemed like a good kid, but there was no way I was going to hire her mother...
brittany 4 months ago
i went to high school with a girl who, when she got married in her 20s, had to have the wedding night explained to her by the best man. she had no idea that anything was supposed to happen on the wedding night. this was in the late 2000s so she could have googled it but it never occurred to her.
Craig Reynolds 1 month ago
His mom wrote him an absence note from work; he was in his early 30s. Word quickly circulated, and he was mocked so badly by coworkers that he quit out of embarrassment. Then his mom showed up and tried demanding severance pay! Umm, hello? He quit. Security has to escort her out.
Little Bit 4 months ago
Events an adult they can't make decisions for themselves because they've never been allowed to.
Artful Penguin 4 months ago
Raised in a religious household. No movie theaters, no secular music, no pants etc. Moved to a different state when I was 14 yrs old and had to go to public school. I got to wear jeans! Learned what p0t smelled like. Learned that babies are not, in fact, conceived when the happy couple kisses on their wedding day, and are not born through the belly button.
R Dennis 4 months ago
I interviewed a teenager for a job at Panera. Her mom sat down right next to her. I told the mom I was interviewing the teen and that I needed her to go to a different table. She moved behind me practically touching the back of my head. When another manager asked how it went, I said she seemed like a good kid, but there was no way I was going to hire her mother...
brittany 4 months ago
i went to high school with a girl who, when she got married in her 20s, had to have the wedding night explained to her by the best man. she had no idea that anything was supposed to happen on the wedding night. this was in the late 2000s so she could have googled it but it never occurred to her.
Craig Reynolds 1 month ago
His mom wrote him an absence note from work; he was in his early 30s. Word quickly circulated, and he was mocked so badly by coworkers that he quit out of embarrassment. Then his mom showed up and tried demanding severance pay! Umm, hello? He quit. Security has to escort her out.
Little Bit 4 months ago
Events an adult they can't make decisions for themselves because they've never been allowed to.
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