People Online Are Pointing Out Signs That An Adult Is Not Acting His Age, So Here Are 30 Signs Of Emotional And Mental Immaturity
Childhood and youth have their charm and supply most of us with memories that, if not always magical, are vivid and emotionally charged. There are so many things we love in children - openness to experiences, energy, and lightheartedness. These are all positive things. However, they have to be supplemented with other character traits and skills once people grow up. Otherwise, someone who is mature physically can appear to be just a little child emotionally and mentally. Identifying such character traits in you or your partner can be a first step towards dealing with difficult situations and maybe finally… growing up. People in this Reddit thread brought up 32 indications that a person is emotionally immature.
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Being an Andrew Tate fan Andrew Tate, a social media influencer and a former professional kickboxer, is a self-described misogynist. He says women belong at home, can’t drive, and are a man’s property. He was arrested in 2022 in Romania. He is suspected of human trafficking and forming an organized crime group. Still, his videos have 11.6 billion views on TikTok.
If I met someone who's like "I listen to Andrew Tate" it'd be the last time I hold any respect for that person....if possible I will also completely cut them out of my life.
All his requests to be released were rejected by the judge. Prosecutors also found evidence of his unsuccessful attempts to convince local politicians to support him. He'd say things such as "you will get many votes if you publicly support me".
Happy to hear that news, he belongs to jail, for a long time
Load More Replies...The only good part was making donuts - I watched the round the world prison doco in Netflix 😂
Load More Replies...He targets teens with his c**p, yall need to say that. Targets children with his propaganda. Specifically.
I work with a guy who spouts Tate garbage daily. Broke up with his long time girlfriend when she got a promotion and made more then him. My wife just got the promotion she has worked towards for 10 years. She now makes more than me and I couldn't be more proud of her.
So you are not so insecure, that you need to make more than she does?
Load More Replies...Too funny..gross, but deserved..do you think they make him wear makeup??
Load More Replies...OK seriously, WHY does this scum bag have to have my last name? :( It's an awesome name and I love it, but he's ruining it. I propose we kick him out of the Tate clan permanently!
Reacts badly to hearing “no” instead of calmly accepting it like an adult.
This is something most preschoolers learn. If someone can't cope with it as an adult...run for the hills, my friend. RUN.
Yup. This can also be a hallmark of cult leaders and sales people involved in high-pressure organizations. Sadly, some seem to believe they’re doing a good thing by trying to bring the people they’re targeting to do what they’d like.
Probably gona get eaten allive for this. But thos hole thread is a sign your not mature at least like 2/3 parts off it why? All the posts is splattered with pronoms he his him he's himself. Kinda unfair is it not and 9 off the 10 pictures used are off men. Or implies that the man is inn the wrong. It wasnt posible to write/speak inn a gender neutral way no you had to stick 2/3 parts off the post on men. And maybe 2 on woman and some neutral Congratulations, lets stick most off the imature stuff on the males.
At the time you wrote this, no post in this thread - "Reacts badly to hearing “no” instead of calmly accepting it like an adult." - used the words "he", "his", or "him". Not one. And as of this moment, no one after you has, either.
Load More Replies...With your name, I'm sure NO is a word you have heard.
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Has to be asked to clean up or otherwise contribute.
When my husband cleans, he does a great job. The only problem being that he acts as though he’s done me a favor afterward.
Well, my wife is a stay at home mom and does almost all the cleaning. I have no problem in helping out, but the majority she wants to do herself on her on way. So if there is something I can help with, she just asks and I will happily do said thing. The thing I always do is iron my own clothes, and if needed the clothes of the rest of the family. (And no, I do not make a mess of things and just don't clean up. I also know how to do all the household tasks like washing and cleaning)
Puts trash on chair next to him. Hides dirty dishes til the mold walks up to you and says hi.
Or they have to make a "look at me" video to post on social media about how they "let" mom have a night off (once in a blue moon) and how they're doing everything for ONCE. Not only do they need to be asked, they need to be thrown a parade for doing it.
I understand the sentiment. I should clean up after myself and I do. But oftentimes for other house related chores, I gave difficulty because have the idea of doing that chore doesn't pop into my head that it's now time to do this or that. I do appreciate when I am pointed out a task/chore - it helps me function a bit better. But yes, I should likely work on doing it without being asked..
I think this is reasonable as long as you're trying.
Load More Replies...It's true that some women can be like this, my ex was a bit like this. Usually however, when it's with men, it comes with a healthy dose of patriarchal entitlement (my ex had mental health issues)
Dear Gustav, I voted negatively because my ex-son-in-law was in the military and he's one of the dirties messier person I have ever met. Not only that but also so self centered and with an acute selfishness.
This can be an issue for people with ADHD. I'm slowly getting better at being aware of what I am (or am not) contributing and improving at it, but I can definitely miss what's right in front of my nose or forget to do that thing I've been asked three times to do already. I don't think ADHD obliviousness is a red flag as long as the person is aware of their lack of awareness and is actively trying. If they get annoyed about being asked that's a whole other problem and DEFINITELY a red flag.
R.A. Haley received a fair amount of down votes. I could be way off, but I think R.A. Haley meant that, sometimes your spouse's standards could be the problem as opposed to laziness on your part. No matter how much you clean, they will always find something you didn't do right or it wasn't good enough. This would indicate a toxic relationship. As I said, I could be way off in my assessment of the comment, I just didn't think R.A. Haley deserved all of those down votes, but freedom of choice and to each their own...I wouldn't have it any other way. Be well Pandas!!🙂
He thinks periods are ick and throws a tantrum if you send him out to pick up tampons.
My soon to be son in law, will put a tampon in his pocket when he knows it's my daughter's time of the month just in case she forgets or doesn't have enough on her. I love him for this because my daughter really suffers and he tries to make things as easy as I for her.
Your son is amazing! I bet he also heats up wheat bags and provides ibuprofen.
Load More Replies...I grew up with a dad who had no trouble buying sanitary supplies for his 3 daughters-he knew which types we liked, what absorption level we needed, and every month he left a bag of them along with a selection of chocolate bars in our bedrooms. He was so much easier to talk to than our mother, and this was the late 70s/early 80s. It was a huge shock to discover as a young adult that he was very much a one-off, and my first serious partner turned out to be an idiot who complained bitterly about it lasting 5 days (he thought I controlled the flow and could get rid of it all in one go if I wanted). I wasn't allowed to keep tampons in the bathroom where he might accidentally see them, he would deliberately not buy them if they were on the shopping list (too embarrassing and WTF should he pay for my luxury items?) That relationship didn't last too long after moving in together, thankfully.
If they can't talk about periods or buy me a tampon they do not get sex. Simple
Amen. You are too you and don't know what the f**k you are doing.
Load More Replies...Sometimes when my wife is changing her pad, she will say something along the lines of “Its like a murder scene” for giggles
I don't care if he thinks it is icky because I feel icky and hate the whole deal myself. It is kind of gross. To me. So he can think it's gross....but in a "Damn, my babes has to deal with some real human grossness. I feel for her and am going to be nice about it like she would if the shoe were on the other foot...." Kind of way. If I'm in a position to ask him to get me tampons? Boy, you best get those mfers with a smile or you are NEVER touching where they go again.
I’m a woman I find any kind of bodily fluids gross-vomit, poop, pee, blood, period blood. I hate dealing with it and I don’t like talking about it. Yes it is clearly all natural doesn’t mean I have to enjoy it in any way it’s still icky to me. Nothing wrong with buying the products for someone. It’s childish to make a big deal about it.
Load More Replies...I remember my ex suggesting that I don’t buy applicator tampons and just reuse an applicator with the non-applicator type as they were cheaper! Took me far too long to convince him that wasn’t a thing, especially as all applicators at the time were cardboard…
I'm having visions here that he thought an applicator was like some sort of wide muzzle gun that you aim from a distance and fire a tampon at your ladybits.
Load More Replies...Jimmy Carr: I'm a modern man and have no problem buying tampons - but some people feel it's not a "proper present". Sorry Mum...
When I was a stripper I found personally these were guys who also thought we had pillow fights and traded bras at sleepovers 😆
I wasn't a stripper and I still think this
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Being quick to anger which results into destroying things like punching holes in walls or breaking furniture. Added bonus when they aren't the ones who fix their messes.
Yes, my ex. He once destroyed my phone because he asked a mate what the location of the Thunderdome was and i said from across the room Calder Park Races is also called the Thunderdome, I shouldn't have interrupted and didn't know what I was talking about. We lived 10 minutes from there, I lived there all my life and he was from across the other side of the city. Learnt all about his true attitude to me that day, it was my phone too and no he did not replace it. When we broke up he moved back in with his mum, they had a fight and he punched a hole in her wall. He rang me for sympathy cos she upset him,like seriously?
That’s a clear sign of a potentially abusive relationship. At that point, make clear that if your significant other ever does that again, he or she needs to take accountability and you’re either getting counseling or separating. This goes for married folks. too. until they get the help they need, they should not be able to be in proximity to you.
The most important lesson I ever learn and when I realized I was an adults was when I learned to control and my anger in healthy ways. Working out and talking about it with my wife. I'm healthy and happier now.
My ex never put his hands on me in anger, but punched tons of holes in our walls over really stupid things like getting frustrated at a game on his phone. He once threw his own phone through one of my paintings and lodged it in the wall. He couldn't handle even the slightest annoyance. It got really old having to fix the damages he caused because he doesnt know how to fix anything, so I always had to.
I'm quick tempered but I don't hit and break things, I go do fat bong rips instead
As a late diagnosed autist with toxic coping mechanisms: I apologise!!! I know it's wrong, but I cannot help myself any other way 😢
Last time I was that angry I clenched my fist so hard my hand was red and burning
Exactly why do so many American homes apparently have walls made out of cardboard anyway?
There are exactly zero houses in the US with walls made of cardboard. The material used is called 'drywall' or 'sheetrock.' It's a 1.3 cm thick board of compressed (mainly) gypsum which is screwed into the studs. The seams are then taped and filled with joint compound, then sanded smooth. It's cheaper and faster than lath-and-plaster walls. Since it was invented in the late-1800s, there are loads of houses in the US with lath-and-plaster walls.
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Misogyny and racism.
I live in the Caribbean, specifically Trinidad and it amazes me how many racist persons you come across...on an island that's known as the "melting pot" even our anthem has "every creed and race find and equal place".
Hell, I’m in the US and apparently the poem on the freaking Statue of Liberty doesn’t mean anything anymore. (“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…”)
Load More Replies...This isn't a gender issue or a maturity issue. It's called being an evil F**K. If you actually HATE people for just existing--not what they think or espouse, just the fact that they exist---then you are the Nazi in the Indiana Jones Film of Life.
No Joe, it makes you lonely, and weird. And your Mom deserves better.
Load More Replies...I love how every single one of these is about men. How much more sexist can you get?
Please don't downvote me into oblivion (I've noticed this entire list has been quite downvote-happy so far), but I don't think this has anything to do with immaturity. Everything I've witnessed or read points to kids don't care. Even in the segregation days the kids didn't let that stop them from playing together. It's only after they've been poisoned by bigots that they adopt prejudice into their programming. This one's more a sign of systemic problems with society than a personal maturity level
Unforgivable in all instances! It does not matter why, who or where!! It's blunt stupidity!! it's trump behavior, and we all know how that goes! 😳😳
Hey now! Nobody respects women more than Trump. He said so! 😆
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When he never admits he's wrong. Also, a lack of emotional regulation. A mature man is able to understand his emotions, process them and properly communicate them.
On the contrary, I think it fits perfectly. There are people whose first impulse is to hit out-they can't regulate their emotions, they can't deal with negative emotions and their immediate reaction is violence. Rather than verbalise why they are upset, or angry, or disappointed, they use their fists. It's easier reacting physically without thought rather than taking a deep breath and thinking to yourself "why am I feeling so angry?" and trying to rationalise your feelings. Some people are incapable of that sort of reflection and insight, and prefer violence against others as a response.
Load More Replies...Mature PERSON, not only a man. Let's not make this turn into gender thing.
Not that easy if he has mental illness. That's an issue I have with the younger generation. They think because they have all of these resources and have learned since they were young that you can easily get help for your mental illness, that people with mental illness that aren't overcoming symptoms are simply toxic instead of caring about other human beings and their plight, they just think you're a bad person. We grew up in a different time, bro.. We will take more time to get past our past and mental problems because of how society was when we were growing up.
I think the last is asking too much. Many men and women have trouble understanding their own emotions.
You will know slightly more as soon as you admit that you don't know everything.
I rarely need to say I'm wrong - for the same reason I rarely need to say that the sun rises in the east or that the Pacific Ocean is wet.
This sounds dumb but playing a game with him. Like a simple no stakes card/board game. If he throws a hissy fit because he didn’t win (especially if he’s never played before) he is immature and shows his true personality.
I think game playing is an underrated life skill. Playing any kind of skill-based game like Chess, Go, or eurogames like Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan (or literally *thousands of others*) enhances the players' understanding of The Theory Of Mind, the (almost) uniquely human ability to visualize what another person knows and doesn't know. That kind of non-emotional empathy is useful in any number of other areas. Likewise, understanding how working within a system of rules leads to better outcomes would help people understand how politics works.
It's also a great way of figuring out where your own strengths lie! Trying a variety of boardgames with a variety of rules/play styles and figuring out which ones you're naturally good at is a great way to figure out in a low stakes way what you're naturally good at. It can also be a fascinating insight into your own character to compare what games you're good at vs what games you actually enjoy (two very different categories usually!) And why! Pen and paper roleplay games are also great for teaching/demonstrating the softer skills (teamwork, collaboration, problem solving, reading group dynamics, ect)
Load More Replies...An ex bought me Scrabble for my birthday (he knew I like word games). He flipped the board after losing badly. Took the game and never went back.
I don't get angry in games...but I do get competitive...I've been told that I start off cool and just zone in. Lol
I'm also thinking it might not be a hissy fit, it might be justifying why they lost. "I only lost because of (something out of their control)". Now that I think about it, I'm still guilty of this at times.
I am always finding ways to do stuff with the kids. I play their video games with them, even though I’m terrible, because I like spending time with them. My husband never wants to put in the energy to try a new game (he is 100% Madden only). I don’t think he gets that the game itself isn’t necessarily the fun part. Spending time with the kids is what’s important.
I do that too. Then I get too into it and get good at the game, and then my son gets annoyed with me and moves to a new game. I'm trying to learn to play the game without getting too into it. It's a challenge for me.
Load More Replies...Once again, how to describe my ex without even seeing him. I like playing card games and board games but don’t particularly care if I win. Mr Mensa never caught on that I was throwing them so that he’d still play them. For 15 years.
Just remembered. Playing scrabble one time (the one game I wouldn’t throw). I spelled a word “quoin” which is the smooth blocks you can see on the corners of castles). He said it East’s word. Got out the scrabble dictionary and there it was. He says “how do you know that?!? I, a rabid reader, said “Read it in a book today.” From him “That’s not fair!”
Load More Replies...Doesn't have to be a board game. Could be a two player console game. Even a cooperative one. Immature people can't do cooperative games, in my experience. They need to be superior, and can't deal with a lack of dominating others. They will treat peaceful games as though the games are sh*t on their shoe.
Insecurity. They brag or show off, especially to other men or about ‘macho’ things- how many women they have [made love] with, women they want to [make love] with (yeah, Charlize Theron is going go for a dude with a neckbeard), how tough they are, their truck / guns/ love of MMA. Performative masculinity.
Or conversely they try to build themselves up by putting others down. Some men do this really obviously. But with some men, it’s more subtle. They seem like an ok guy, then out of left field ‘women take good men for granted and just want a wallet.’
Obviously, all men don’t have fragile male egos. But the ones who do are insufferable.
The whole alpha male idea is a complete myth. The writer of the book about wolves who was the first to describe it, David Mech, has repeatedly said it was wrong, he did more research later that disproved his initial theories but the myth of the alpha male simply won't die. You're not an alpha male, you're an arrogant bully who is terrified of his own feelings so refuses to acknowledge them and so insecure about yourself that you have to put on an act of what you think a man is. You're lying to yourself and everyone else.
You are so right. Look at the leader of a wolf pack. He doesn’t behave at all like the human ‘alpha male.’ I’d rather live with the wolves.
Load More Replies...I'm guessing the f-word was switched to "making love", looks ridiculous, at the very least use sex. I seriously doubt that kind of person makes love.
The original poster did in fact use the word sex..... BP still changed it to make love.
Load More Replies...I totally agree, but don't forget, that many women does put others down for no reason that I can understand.
Likes movies showing "Real men" like Terence Hill/ Budget Spencer and knows all their movie quotes. Thinks that's real life. Won't pay with change because it's underneath him.
Avoiding responsibility. No accountability for his own actions.
Thank you Joe!! I feel exactly the same way, I know I screw up..but I'm ready to deal with it!
Load More Replies...The new guy at work came up short $30 at the end up of the night. He attempted to blame the system because "I never lie and I know I checked all of my tickets when taking them out." It was his 3rd day working there and the 2nd time he came up short. Other things he wouldn't accept help on because he said he knew how to do it: refilling the syrups, I had to go refill them later because he did 2 of them out of 10; taking out the trash, he somehow screwed up taking out the trash and took the whole can instead of the bag; napkins, I told him we were out of napkins but he still wanted to go get them because he "knew where they are kept."
Keep a written record of this fellows offenses and build a case.
Load More Replies...I won’t tolerate this kind of behavior in a 3rd grade student much less an adult!!
Oh you mean like the prescholars I work with who are always claiming that he hit the other guy, because he hit first, so it is really the other guys fault.
"I spilled the coffee because you were to r******d to put it somewhere else"....
Victim mentality. Somehow his ex’s are always the one who have done him wrong. Not knowing how to realize or articulate their emotions. No ambition AND no action towards making those ambitions reality.
Yes!!!! I had to experience this a few times before learning this the hard way. Also people who say they hate drama somehow always seem to be at the center of the most of it…🤔
Load More Replies...Yep again my ex. Was told when we broke up he only worked because i made him work. Like, whatabout creating a future secure of financial issues? When I was between jobs for 2 weeks however he said that he hoped I didn't expect him to be the sole earner, no I didn't I was actively seeking and found work within 2 weeks.
Had a friend like this who was so secretly toxic because he acted nice and sweet but every bad situation in his life was always someone else's fault; his divorce, his job situation, his living situation. But when it came to doing things to help himself, no, he couldn't do that either. You tend to want to sympathize with others so it slips by you at first.
Yep, I've got a friend like this too.. more of a distant friend I still keep in touch with these days. You're right, it can be hard to spot at first. Once you notice the habit pattern of always blaming the other party it might be tempting to try as a friend to help recognize and fix the problem, but IME they're not mature enough to hear that either :/
Load More Replies...My childhood was rather traumatic but I still bust my a*s to do what I gotta do
Victim mentality! Like when everything is at fault for YOUR life sucking the way it does. Prices, physical problems, your looks, how you live, what you can do..... Oh yeah. Cry me a river.
Thinking that watching him do something he enjoys but that you can't join in with is going to be the highlight of your night. This is a toddler showing off in front of mom so that she'll lavish him with praise. If he's this self-centered when he's being nice imagine what a nightmare he is when he's throwing a tantrum.
Meh. This depends....is it reciprocal? I can see going to see my dude play basketball or play in his band being the highlight of my night. I can't join in but I would enjoy it. And if he sees coming to watch my thing as the highlight of HIS night, we are probably a great match. Reciprocity is the issue. He is imaginary btw.
So glad I'm old enough to be done with his garbage. No, I do not want to sit and watch you play video games.
I agree with you in principle but oddly enough I like watching people play video games.
Load More Replies...The number of guys I’ve gone out with who think I want to sit there and watch them play video games. Psh, I’m going to go home and play my own damn game on my own damn PC
I really can't understand why you aren't happy. Every night we watch my favorite shows while you scratch my back for at least 45 minutes. And you're not happy? -my ex (and my stupid a*s thinking that this was okay and I needed to just go with the flow and keep him happy.) I hope he reads this. He will know who he is, seeing as this was our entire relationship in a nutshell
Can't go night night without out you, pretends to want to spend time/ watch a movie just so he can safely fall asleep after 2 minutes.
Black and white thinking. Not taking accountability for their actions and always finding a way to blame someone else for their mistakes. Refuses to apologize or “I’m sorry you feel that way” apologies. Won’t listen to or seems uninterested in your opinions. dismisses or invalidates your feelings. Oblivious to emotional or social cues after repeated attempts or conversations. Disrespects or argues against your boundaries.
I mean I agree, but where tf did that come from?
Load More Replies...I think an important thing to remember about this kind of dynamic is if you stay in a relationship with this kind of person you are going to be resentful of them because they are treating you like s**t and you have to continue to establish some sort of boundaries and some sort of self dignity. In order to do that you aren't going to continue to apologize to them when they throw a fit. You aren't going to continue to cater to their emotional breakdowns. You aren't going to continue to compromise with them and constantly give them what they want. So unfortunately these psychopaths can very stealthy turn this entire dynamic around and once again point the finger at you and say that you are doing exactly what they are guilty of doing and it will continue to go in the never-ending circle. Because you are a good person and you will feel guilty and try to fix things. You will start to think you are crazy and the problem. If this is happening to you and you are seeking mental health treatment thinking you are the problem you need to leave. They are literally driving you crazy with gaslighting and you need to leave there is no other option
You hit the nail on head. I came up with a saying after my divorce from an emotional and physically abusive husband:. Men---No good, low down, two timing, double dirty crossing, egotistical, self centered, male shovenist, sex maniac, narcissist, cheating rat.
Has a child-like temperament and can't delay gratification. It's always concerning when he can't excersize restraint.
Like when my dad is sick. He reverts to acting like a toddler. Complete with tantrums. I recently read him the riot act when I watched him swear at my mother over something incredibly stupid, just because he was ill and felt terrible. Sorry, but you are still an adult and are expected to behave as such - I don't care how bad your cold is!
Like picking something at the shop himself and then throwing a huge hissy fit asking why he has to eat this garbage
PHEWWWW my first boyfriend would cry and throw tantrums when I refused seggs, break things and kick my dog. I could have bought a beach house with all the therapy I've had.
Whines. If they whine even once, just remember that in the long run this is intolerable. It doesn't matter how much you think you love this person. They're not going to stop whining. It's got to be a deal-breaker
Cheating, lying about cheating, using health issues as an excuse to cheat, talking to other girls on Bumble while laying next to you in bed on vacation after flying down to visit.
I agree, cheaters are awful but this sounds oddly personal. I wanna hear what health reasons this guy came up with! 🤣
I really don't understand the whole cheating thing. If there are issues in the relationship, talk about them. It really is not that hard people! If you are together for many years, it is only normal that you may develop feelings for someone else. But, you don't need to act one them. Just spend extra (quality) time with you partner and those feelings will disappear.
Very specific example... Using anything as an "excuse" to cheat is just crazy anyway.
"health issues as an excuse to cheat," How inna hell does THAT work ?
Well, this one is pretty specific. Can anyone help me understand "using health issues as an excuse to cheat"? Or is that part of the specificity?
I suppose health issues of their partner as kind of "justification", not health issues of the cheater themselves.
Load More Replies...Only ever had 2 committed relationships, 1 was crazy so I ended that. Other cheated on me. 38 and have spent only 2 years in a relationship. Bachelor's don't have this issue
Based on your comments it's truly no wonder women want nothing to do with you.
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Everything is a joke to him.
Humor can help release tension or to express one’s feelings without fully committing to them. However, it can and often is used to disguise the truth, keep another person at distance, distract oneself from engaging with feelings behind the joke, and avoid self-awareness.
I know a lot of people are used to the Schroedingers A-Hole type of guy here, but as a prime example of another, more subtle example of this problem: there are those of us that regularly use self deprecating humor and jokes about everything mundane to keep an emotional distance from everyone. Even if hyper self aware, it keeps most genuine emotions far from the mind and let's us isolate our own problems.
Calling women "females", describing themselves as traditional in terms of relationships or gender roles, or wanting a relationship just to have children.
It's quite useful though, if someone uses that term in a derogatory or dismissive fashion (or even worse, the term 'femoid') then it marks them out as someone to avoid.
Incels, neckbeards, and niceguys ™ come to mind... Women are never women to these individuals. However they are "female" or a "femoid", or...every derogatory term in the book. But never "woman". It comes off as their way of dehumanizing. Personally I don't mind hearing the word female if it's for medical purposes, but hearing it from the mentioned examples gives it creepy/cringey vibes.
Load More Replies...I work in market research. Female is a perfectly normal term (as is Male). We have in the past few years added Other, Intersex, Non-binary and prefer not to say, but thinking "females" is immature in every context is very blinkered.
I think the issue is that the term "female" is very biological and its use seems to imply that the speaker views women as "creatures" related to reproduction rather than real, actual people or peers. I'm sure that it's sometimes used innocuously, but I see the term come up way too often in misogynistic posts to consider it a coincidence.
Load More Replies...This is weird. I can't tell you how many abusive men that I have met actually try to get a girl pregnant because they want to have a goddamn baby. Like they actually say that they wanted to have a baby and they basically used the woman to have the baby. Now we think of it as trying to trap you in a relationship. It's not always that. Sometimes you are just an incubator for their ego. Think about that
If it’s literally his upbringing and it’s simply a matter of fact for him, that’s one thing. If he uses that to justify mistreating women and isn’t willing to learn from his mistakes, that’s another.
Hmm, agree with calling women "females" & entering a relationship only for children. Maybe I get downvoted to oblivion, but I don't see anything wrong with some folks wanting a "traditional" (whatever that means) relationship or wanting gender roles. I'm sure there are many people like this among all sexes, to each their own.
He keeps saying "I understand what you're saying/feeling," then in the next breath says something that proves himself wrong.
Binge drinking vehicle antifreeze when he can’t afford real alcohol is also a bad sign. (Mostly a Russian soldier thing.) EDIT: Sorry! It was Russian soldiers drinking brake fluid from their vehicles. Here is a link https://www.rbth.com/history/327553-crazy-soviet-alcohol
I'm getting concerned. Are you ok dear? Do you need to talk to someone?
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Damn. This brought me back to four months ago when I was googling “is he too emotionally guarded for a relationship,” without realizing that really his lack of affection was because he had a whole other relationship outside of me.
Anyway, a few things:
- He treats you based on how he’s feeling, justifies his behavior on how he’s feeling
- Instead of making you a priority, he explains his lack of effort with excuses
- Disappears whenever you have a serious conversation or are addressing a conflict
- Does not hold space or empathy for your emotional wounds & intensities
- References past loves just a little too much
- Claims being “emotional” is something they’ve grown out of
- Does not respect your time, aka doesn’t plan dates in advance; doesn’t make a routine out of your time together (aka seeing each other every weekend); you’re often waiting for them to initiate plans either the day of or the night before
An unhealthy fascination with death/suicide is also a no go for some.
Not really appreciating your responses, kitten. Kind of insensitive?
Load More Replies...This whole list basically all just points to cheating and could have been finished after the first paragraph!
How about if you come over to their house and they literally make you wait like as if you're in a waiting room while they finished doing whatever else they're doing. Yes that's actually happened to me. The hardest thing for me to believe is that this is a common thing so common that it's here on board panda. This behavior is disgusting and somehow people still don't understand that this is really how these men are behaving. Somehow it's so hard to explain to people what you're going through. At what point are we going to realize that this is going to be something that we come across on the reg and every woman needs to avoid it like a plague
Hot headed, can't apologize, doesn't know how to clean, needs you to be a parent to him, doesn't take care of himself/ doesn't try to improve in life ECT ECT. (This doesn't just apply to men though)
I'm glad someone mentioned "can't apologize". I would also add that people who always add an excuse to their apology are not mature either.
That he can’t accept when a woman expresses that she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with him and that she doesn’t want to remain in contact with him. So he takes the “biggest sore loser” approach and makes up stories about her/talks trash about her on social media and to anyone who will listen. Then he claims himself to be the victim and she is the one who “ruined his life.”
My ex does this every time he's done with a relationship. When he and his first wife divorced, everything was her fault. After I divorced him, everything was my fault. He's remarried now. If she ever leaves him, everything will be her fault. He uses his past relationships to make his current love interest feel sorry for him because he's been treated so badly by "evil" women. He also makes sure none of these women know each other, or ever communicate, because then his lies would be exposed. He makes his exes out to be the worst people who have ever lived, so that his current partner will believe the worst and want nothing to do with the person. I divorced him 11 years ago and I am still hearing lies that he spreads about me. I'm so glad to be out of that chaos and drama.
Dating a significantly younger girl and then lying to his mother and friends about your age because he’s not comfortable with telling them your real age because deep down he knows it’s wrong (an actual experience)
well there are a lot of things to unpack here, this person is talking about one very specific example. And yes if the man lies about his gf's age, its immature, but as long as they are of legal age, I dont care what you do. I knew a man who met his wife when she was 21 and he was 35, they were married 60 year until she died (were together 61 years in total), he lived to 104. The hiding the age bc they are uncomfortable is a sign of immaturity, but as I said, as long as both parties are legal and there was no grooming, I dont care.
In response to why this is gross with Leo as an example: Because the human brain is not fully developed until age 24-26. So when someone who is 48, relationship savvy and rich, is dating a 19 year old who is not, there is such an unequal power dynamic on so many levels it is just predatory. He dates women who are physiologically unable to understand and analyze the situation accurately. Legality is only one issue when looking at an age difference. It's not just the age difference. It is what her actual brain function in relation to age is in comparison to his. I hope that helps.
Load More Replies...I can see the lying thing, but age gap? How is that anyone's right to judge? If two people are committed, love and support each other and are happy how is age difference something to have to comment about? It's an unfortunate social construct and condemnatory views are just a form of bigotry. Live and let live.
me: (an 11 trans kid) scrolling thru Imgur, random person: oh your art is so good what to talk? me: sure why not! you seem nice! *turns out to be a child predetor* me: emotionally scared for life
Does that work the other way around ? I was 22 and her son was 23. Nobody had a problem...
Nope. You already made it clear that science and brain function don't matter. How about statistics? FATHERLESS women are most likely to date well above their age. Women with strong relationships with their fathers are least likely....hmmm. They are seeking the SECURITY that they missed. In this culture that looks like status and money. You have very strong opinions for someone who doesn't get the facts. It's not acknowledged because of WHY. Men would have to admit to a social and cultural fault. Very few of you are willing to do that.
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Gets angry at you after you tell them the way you feel during a disagreement.
Depends on the disagreement. If it’s caused because you’d rather sacrifice him to Satan than do the dishes, he’s allowed to get mad at you
Yes, I experienced this as a partner who would get mad at me anytime I was mad about something. I felt like I wasn't allowed to be angry.
Anytime you want to talk about something serious or something that’s bothering you, he’ll deflect and try to change the subject or ignore you because they don’t like dealing with uncomfortable situations.
That's more of a "it's not about me so I'm not going to listen to you and your .....!".
or, and i don't know the specifics, but maybe you don't make a safe space for arguing...can happen to either sex...sometimes people avoid out of cowardice or indifference...but sometimes they avoid conflict b/c they know the other person will shame, yell, escalate in a way that would make anyone uncomfortable...not a black and white red flag
Using all kinds of excuses to act poorly. His mental health, his parents, past relationships, you, etc etc. All people have their scars but an adult recognizes them, takes ownership/accountability for them and takes action to make themselves better.
Wait, we can't have mental health problems now? We've only just got used to admitting to having them!
Controlling, jealous, lacks consideration for the input of others, can't or won't take care of himself, can't fathom somebody having a different opinion than him without taking it as a personal attack, continually dates women or men a LOT younger than himself, can't stand opposition or to be told no, blames others for his own actions, angers quickly and/or violently, and can't hold down a job among a few.
My roommate is a man half my age (he was born 6 months before my blood son.) a dear friend I have known most of a decade. I decided we should become roommates (yes me, he’s got issues, real ones. He’s disabled so I pay for housing and food, mostly). My son in law asked if we were lovers. I love my friend, but…. I just looked at my son in law and said “did you look at him?”
See, why bring up a political ideology in this? Do you feel attacked and need to externalize your own insecurities man? Do you need a hug? To talk to someone?
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When he's lived at his apartment for a period of time & it looks like he just moved in. Stuff still in bins/containers. A single couch, TV, & gaming system in his living room, little to no other furniture. No pillowcases, sheets on the bed, or just a mattress on the floor. Nothing on the walls except a few Kobe Bryant posters. Piles of laundry everywhere, piles of dishes everywhere. Hanging bed sheets in place of curtains, or no curtains at all. Messy floors & counters, stains, etc. Only knows how to cook kraft dinner & frozen pizza.
Hm. "Little to no furniture" may have some exceptions. My apartment only had very basic furniture for years, just because I was saving every cent and couldn't afford other pieces. Agree with the rest.
My first apartment had moving boxes with towels over them for end tables. The place was clean though.
Load More Replies...I disagree with pictures on the wall: It took me 4 years to find something I really valued to hang up.
I don't see any necessary problems with this. I'm a 36 year old woman who lives alone and my apartment looks just like this. Undecorated and messy. Because I value doing something important with my time instead of cleaning and decorating. I wouldn't mind at all if my future husband's home looked like that as well. Where I'm living now is just a temporary apartment. Our future home together will (maybe) be nicely decorated, or at least clean, because it will have meaning to us. Cleaning is overrated, and so are curtains. Messiness is often a sign of intelligence. The person who wrote this post would not get along with me.
Sounds like a poorly raised 18 year old in their first apartment, but sadly I've met a 40 year old that lives like that...
Sounds about right for a first apartment for an 18 yo living the dream. The 40 yo is probably divorced and can barely afford child support and alimony. Sometimes people are on the spectrum and that's what you get. ADHD is no guarantee you'll get anything done. Or maybe they're both serial killers and are too busy hiding bodies to decorate.
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When he cannot give a straightforward answer
Demanding/expecting a simple answer can itself be a sign of immaturity. Some things just ain't simple, and acting like they are is a big fat red flag.
Ghosting,
Lies
KLT, for some reason, one of those things just seems a little bit unlike the rest.
Load More Replies...Love that these posted about men when are common flags that women do all the time in relationships as well. Some are definitely more likely in males but some I've seen a lot across the way. Why not just say things that are reg flags in relationships and drop all the "he"s in the article.
When having those emotionally deep conversations or being vulnerable with them. They laugh it off, dismiss it, change the subject, or try to debate it like your feelings aren't really your feelings. They could also blow up and become mad or upset at these feelings too. Instead of empathizing, understanding, or trying to comprehend what you are feeling.
They will side step any emotional depth and keep everything surface level or compensate by being overly sexual. Because emotional vulnerability is really scary for them /s so they gave to compensate with the physical vulnerable by being a gross creepy perv.
They will have an excuse for everything. And nothing is ever their fault. So being broke in mountains of debt and unemployed. Is because of circumstance not because of their own choices and decisions. And not understanding the amount of s**t they are really in.
Randomly screaming profanities in public libraries would also be a nopitty noper.
Unless you're the librarian. It's a tough job.
Load More Replies...He gets mad over a parking spot.
See, to a point. In the Northeast of the US, Road Rage is just a way of life. And games get frustrating. You should never be violent or destructive, but getting frustrated is fine.
Load More Replies...Or, has to pass everyone in his visual scope on the highway, cause he has to be first!!
Someone who feels the need to play devil's advocate.
Sometimes that's the best (and only) way to point out the flaw in someone's plan. It's not a need, it's a sensible approach.
People tend to abuse this concept to derail everything they don't like to do or discuss. That's what's meant here with the need to do it in any situation even when it's not sensible. Also playing devil's advocate needs skill and knowledge. It's not just spinning silly situations that never will come to pass and are extremely unlikely or irrelevant. Most people who tried to do that in the past didn't even know how to do it right. Devil's advocate is a role that is specifically assigned to a person by the others in a decision group. That person then does some research on the topic assigned to them to find likely flaws by comparing data to similar situations and then presents it during a discussion meeting. Just throwing in random 'what-ifs' to make discussion more difficult is not being a devil's advocate. It's an unhealthy compulsion.
Load More Replies...Sounds more like someone doesn't like considering that there may be more ways to look at an issue than they think. This sounds more like a 'you' problem than a 'him' problem.
I think it depends on the people involved, the reason he's doing it. To some people is interesting playing the devil's advocate, it allows them to see different point of view, to be flexible and more understanding of the different parts of the problem. I'm not getting annoyed to people that are doing it as long as it's not maliciously done, with the only purpose of annoying me.
Seeing the potential other side of a circumstance is healthy. However, sometimes it's smarter to let the other person have their "moment of joy." If the person telling you seems happy or excited, in that moment they'd appreciate being able to feel those feelings, instead of feeling detailed by negative thoughts. You can always bring up your idea. Just give them 5 minutes (or couple of hours) to ride the emotional high they are on. They need that like you need logic. It will help them function and they'll likely be more open to hearing your "constructive criticisms" with an open mind.
Probably get downvoted for this but I guarantee I'm not the only one thinking it. Apart from a few gender specific things, most of these can relate to anyone who isn't emotionally mature, or just mature in general.
Yeah I'm not sure why these are aimed at a particular sex. Most of these can be applied to women as well. In fact, several of them reminded me of particular women.
Load More Replies...I'm female. So in the interest of equality, is there going to be a "emotionally immature women" post as well? I'm not sure I added any value to my day by reading this. Apparently I need to stick to the happy/funny/meme-y posts! (I detest daylight saving time and am exhausted, forgive me.)
There's plenty of them! You just have to specifically search for them, or sometimes they'll eventually pop right up in your feed instead. From the time I've been on bored panda, I've seen around 10 of them so far.
Load More Replies...Idk I'm personally getting a little bored of them, but most of these lists are snatched up from reddit, including the "AskWomen", "AskMen" subreddits etc.. Which is why most of these posts are all Identical.
Load More Replies...OK, so everyone pretty much agreed on these traits as typical of an immature male. So can someone please explain why around 63 million Americans in 2016 wanted such a person as their president and, having seen those traits on display for four years, a *further* 11 million Americans in 2020 said "more please"
I heard this same complaint, but the end worded...differently. "11 million Americans in 2020 said "harder daddy"" 😆
Load More Replies...This whole thing reads like a list of things people didn't like about their exes
As a woman I feel that asking people to make this list is a good way to tell if a specific woman is immature mentally. >~>;
As a woman, this list is offensive and I'm going to fix it: if SHE thinks it's the man's responsibility to make all the money and complains/throws a tantrum when she has to get a job and pay bills. When SHE looks at her children as social media capital. When SHE thinks it's cute to Facebook/ Instagram stalk old friends and exes. When SHE talks about a man's penis size as if it matters. When SHE has "red flags" that include height, weight, and income minimum requirements. When HER bills are late but she just spent $400 at Ulta and thinks the solution is to find a man to "take care of her." When SHE thinks female empowerment means belittling men or the men in her life. I could go on...
Probably get downvoted for this but I guarantee I'm not the only one thinking it. Apart from a few gender specific things, most of these can relate to anyone who isn't emotionally mature, or just mature in general.
Yeah I'm not sure why these are aimed at a particular sex. Most of these can be applied to women as well. In fact, several of them reminded me of particular women.
Load More Replies...I'm female. So in the interest of equality, is there going to be a "emotionally immature women" post as well? I'm not sure I added any value to my day by reading this. Apparently I need to stick to the happy/funny/meme-y posts! (I detest daylight saving time and am exhausted, forgive me.)
There's plenty of them! You just have to specifically search for them, or sometimes they'll eventually pop right up in your feed instead. From the time I've been on bored panda, I've seen around 10 of them so far.
Load More Replies...Idk I'm personally getting a little bored of them, but most of these lists are snatched up from reddit, including the "AskWomen", "AskMen" subreddits etc.. Which is why most of these posts are all Identical.
Load More Replies...OK, so everyone pretty much agreed on these traits as typical of an immature male. So can someone please explain why around 63 million Americans in 2016 wanted such a person as their president and, having seen those traits on display for four years, a *further* 11 million Americans in 2020 said "more please"
I heard this same complaint, but the end worded...differently. "11 million Americans in 2020 said "harder daddy"" 😆
Load More Replies...This whole thing reads like a list of things people didn't like about their exes
As a woman I feel that asking people to make this list is a good way to tell if a specific woman is immature mentally. >~>;
As a woman, this list is offensive and I'm going to fix it: if SHE thinks it's the man's responsibility to make all the money and complains/throws a tantrum when she has to get a job and pay bills. When SHE looks at her children as social media capital. When SHE thinks it's cute to Facebook/ Instagram stalk old friends and exes. When SHE talks about a man's penis size as if it matters. When SHE has "red flags" that include height, weight, and income minimum requirements. When HER bills are late but she just spent $400 at Ulta and thinks the solution is to find a man to "take care of her." When SHE thinks female empowerment means belittling men or the men in her life. I could go on...
