People Online Are Pointing Out Signs That An Adult Is Not Acting His Age, So Here Are 30 Signs Of Emotional And Mental Immaturity
Childhood and youth have their charm and supply most of us with memories that, if not always magical, are vivid and emotionally charged. There are so many things we love in children - openness to experiences, energy, and lightheartedness. These are all positive things. However, they have to be supplemented with other character traits and skills once people grow up. Otherwise, someone who is mature physically can appear to be just a little child emotionally and mentally. Identifying such character traits in you or your partner can be a first step towards dealing with difficult situations and maybe finally… growing up. People in this Reddit thread brought up 32 indications that a person is emotionally immature.
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Being an Andrew Tate fan
Andrew Tate, a social media influencer and a former professional kickboxer, is a self-described misogynist. He says women belong at home, can’t drive, and are a man’s property. He was arrested in 2022 in Romania. He is suspected of human trafficking and forming an organized crime group. Still, his videos have 11.6 billion views on TikTok.
If I met someone who's like "I listen to Andrew Tate" it'd be the last time I hold any respect for that person....if possible I will also completely cut them out of my life.
Reacts badly to hearing “no” instead of calmly accepting it like an adult.
This is something most preschoolers learn. If someone can't cope with it as an adult...run for the hills, my friend. RUN.
He thinks periods are ick and throws a tantrum if you send him out to pick up tampons.
My soon to be son in law, will put a tampon in his pocket when he knows it's my daughter's time of the month just in case she forgets or doesn't have enough on her. I love him for this because my daughter really suffers and he tries to make things as easy as I for her.
Being quick to anger which results into destroying things like punching holes in walls or breaking furniture. Added bonus when they aren't the ones who fix their messes.
Yes, my ex. He once destroyed my phone because he asked a mate what the location of the Thunderdome was and i said from across the room Calder Park Races is also called the Thunderdome, I shouldn't have interrupted and didn't know what I was talking about. We lived 10 minutes from there, I lived there all my life and he was from across the other side of the city. Learnt all about his true attitude to me that day, it was my phone too and no he did not replace it. When we broke up he moved back in with his mum, they had a fight and he punched a hole in her wall. He rang me for sympathy cos she upset him,like seriously?
Misogyny and racism.
I live in the Caribbean, specifically Trinidad and it amazes me how many racist persons you come across...on an island that's known as the "melting pot" even our anthem has "every creed and race find and equal place".
When he never admits he's wrong. Also, a lack of emotional regulation. A mature man is able to understand his emotions, process them and properly communicate them.
This sounds dumb but playing a game with him. Like a simple no stakes card/board game. If he throws a hissy fit because he didn’t win (especially if he’s never played before) he is immature and shows his true personality.
I think game playing is an underrated life skill. Playing any kind of skill-based game like Chess, Go, or eurogames like Ticket to Ride, Settlers of Catan (or literally *thousands of others*) enhances the players' understanding of The Theory Of Mind, the (almost) uniquely human ability to visualize what another person knows and doesn't know. That kind of non-emotional empathy is useful in any number of other areas. Likewise, understanding how working within a system of rules leads to better outcomes would help people understand how politics works.
Insecurity. They brag or show off, especially to other men or about ‘macho’ things- how many women they have [made love] with, women they want to [make love] with (yeah, Charlize Theron is going go for a dude with a neckbeard), how tough they are, their truck / guns/ love of MMA. Performative masculinity.
Or conversely they try to build themselves up by putting others down. Some men do this really obviously. But with some men, it’s more subtle. They seem like an ok guy, then out of left field ‘women take good men for granted and just want a wallet.’
Obviously, all men don’t have fragile male egos. But the ones who do are insufferable.
The whole alpha male idea is a complete myth. The writer of the book about wolves who was the first to describe it, David Mech, has repeatedly said it was wrong, he did more research later that disproved his initial theories but the myth of the alpha male simply won't die. You're not an alpha male, you're an arrogant bully who is terrified of his own feelings so refuses to acknowledge them and so insecure about yourself that you have to put on an act of what you think a man is. You're lying to yourself and everyone else.
Avoiding responsibility. No accountability for his own actions.
Victim mentality. Somehow his ex’s are always the one who have done him wrong. Not knowing how to realize or articulate their emotions. No ambition AND no action towards making those ambitions reality.
Thinking that watching him do something he enjoys but that you can't join in with is going to be the highlight of your night. This is a toddler showing off in front of mom so that she'll lavish him with praise. If he's this self-centered when he's being nice imagine what a nightmare he is when he's throwing a tantrum.
Black and white thinking. Not taking accountability for their actions and always finding a way to blame someone else for their mistakes. Refuses to apologize or “I’m sorry you feel that way” apologies. Won’t listen to or seems uninterested in your opinions. dismisses or invalidates your feelings. Oblivious to emotional or social cues after repeated attempts or conversations. Disrespects or argues against your boundaries.
Has a child-like temperament and can't delay gratification. It's always concerning when he can't excersize restraint.
Like when my dad is sick. He reverts to acting like a toddler. Complete with tantrums. I recently read him the riot act when I watched him swear at my mother over something incredibly stupid, just because he was ill and felt terrible. Sorry, but you are still an adult and are expected to behave as such - I don't care how bad your cold is!
Cheating, lying about cheating, using health issues as an excuse to cheat, talking to other girls on Bumble while laying next to you in bed on vacation after flying down to visit.
I agree, cheaters are awful but this sounds oddly personal. I wanna hear what health reasons this guy came up with! 🤣
Everything is a joke to him.
Humor can help release tension or to express one’s feelings without fully committing to them. However, it can and often is used to disguise the truth, keep another person at distance, distract oneself from engaging with feelings behind the joke, and avoid self-awareness.
I know a lot of people are used to the Schroedingers A-Hole type of guy here, but as a prime example of another, more subtle example of this problem: there are those of us that regularly use self deprecating humor and jokes about everything mundane to keep an emotional distance from everyone. Even if hyper self aware, it keeps most genuine emotions far from the mind and let's us isolate our own problems.
Calling women "females", describing themselves as traditional in terms of relationships or gender roles, or wanting a relationship just to have children.
It's quite useful though, if someone uses that term in a derogatory or dismissive fashion (or even worse, the term 'femoid') then it marks them out as someone to avoid.
Incels, neckbeards, and niceguys ™ come to mind... Women are never women to these individuals. However they are "female" or a "femoid", or...every derogatory term in the book. But never "woman". It comes off as their way of dehumanizing. Personally I don't mind hearing the word female if it's for medical purposes, but hearing it from the mentioned examples gives it creepy/cringey vibes.
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I work in market research. Female is a perfectly normal term (as is Male). We have in the past few years added Other, Intersex, Non-binary and prefer not to say, but thinking "females" is immature in every context is very blinkered.
I think the issue is that the term "female" is very biological and its use seems to imply that the speaker views women as "creatures" related to reproduction rather than real, actual people or peers. I'm sure that it's sometimes used innocuously, but I see the term come up way too often in misogynistic posts to consider it a coincidence.
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This is weird. I can't tell you how many abusive men that I have met actually try to get a girl pregnant because they want to have a goddamn baby. Like they actually say that they wanted to have a baby and they basically used the woman to have the baby. Now we think of it as trying to trap you in a relationship. It's not always that. Sometimes you are just an incubator for their ego. Think about that
If it’s literally his upbringing and it’s simply a matter of fact for him, that’s one thing. If he uses that to justify mistreating women and isn’t willing to learn from his mistakes, that’s another.
Hmm, agree with calling women "females" & entering a relationship only for children. Maybe I get downvoted to oblivion, but I don't see anything wrong with some folks wanting a "traditional" (whatever that means) relationship or wanting gender roles. I'm sure there are many people like this among all sexes, to each their own.
I always respect someone's pronouns, but…maybe I'm missing something, but what's wrong with referring to a woman as female if she doesn't have a problem with it?
i am a feminist...am i being submissive by adopting a title with the same root word as female?...OP is a little too sensitive IMHO...
He keeps saying "I understand what you're saying/feeling," then in the next breath says something that proves himself wrong.
Binge drinking vehicle antifreeze when he can’t afford real alcohol is also a bad sign. (Mostly a Russian soldier thing.) EDIT: Sorry! It was Russian soldiers drinking brake fluid from their vehicles. Here is a link https://www.rbth.com/history/327553-crazy-soviet-alcohol
Damn. This brought me back to four months ago when I was googling “is he too emotionally guarded for a relationship,” without realizing that really his lack of affection was because he had a whole other relationship outside of me.
Anyway, a few things:
- He treats you based on how he’s feeling, justifies his behavior on how he’s feeling
- Instead of making you a priority, he explains his lack of effort with excuses
- Disappears whenever you have a serious conversation or are addressing a conflict
- Does not hold space or empathy for your emotional wounds & intensities
- References past loves just a little too much
- Claims being “emotional” is something they’ve grown out of
- Does not respect your time, aka doesn’t plan dates in advance; doesn’t make a routine out of your time together (aka seeing each other every weekend); you’re often waiting for them to initiate plans either the day of or the night before
An unhealthy fascination with death/suicide is also a no go for some.
Hot headed, can't apologize, doesn't know how to clean, needs you to be a parent to him, doesn't take care of himself/ doesn't try to improve in life ECT ECT. (This doesn't just apply to men though)
That he can’t accept when a woman expresses that she doesn’t want a romantic relationship with him and that she doesn’t want to remain in contact with him. So he takes the “biggest sore loser” approach and makes up stories about her/talks trash about her on social media and to anyone who will listen. Then he claims himself to be the victim and she is the one who “ruined his life.”
Dating a significantly younger girl and then lying to his mother and friends about your age because he’s not comfortable with telling them your real age because deep down he knows it’s wrong (an actual experience)
well there are a lot of things to unpack here, this person is talking about one very specific example. And yes if the man lies about his gf's age, its immature, but as long as they are of legal age, I dont care what you do. I knew a man who met his wife when she was 21 and he was 35, they were married 60 year until she died (were together 61 years in total), he lived to 104. The hiding the age bc they are uncomfortable is a sign of immaturity, but as I said, as long as both parties are legal and there was no grooming, I dont care.
Gets angry at you after you tell them the way you feel during a disagreement.
Depends on the disagreement. If it’s caused because you’d rather sacrifice him to Satan than do the dishes, he’s allowed to get mad at you
Anytime you want to talk about something serious or something that’s bothering you, he’ll deflect and try to change the subject or ignore you because they don’t like dealing with uncomfortable situations.
That's more of a "it's not about me so I'm not going to listen to you and your .....!".
Using all kinds of excuses to act poorly. His mental health, his parents, past relationships, you, etc etc. All people have their scars but an adult recognizes them, takes ownership/accountability for them and takes action to make themselves better.
Wait, we can't have mental health problems now? We've only just got used to admitting to having them!
Controlling, jealous, lacks consideration for the input of others, can't or won't take care of himself, can't fathom somebody having a different opinion than him without taking it as a personal attack, continually dates women or men a LOT younger than himself, can't stand opposition or to be told no, blames others for his own actions, angers quickly and/or violently, and can't hold down a job among a few.
When he's lived at his apartment for a period of time & it looks like he just moved in. Stuff still in bins/containers. A single couch, TV, & gaming system in his living room, little to no other furniture. No pillowcases, sheets on the bed, or just a mattress on the floor. Nothing on the walls except a few Kobe Bryant posters. Piles of laundry everywhere, piles of dishes everywhere. Hanging bed sheets in place of curtains, or no curtains at all. Messy floors & counters, stains, etc. Only knows how to cook kraft dinner & frozen pizza.
When he cannot give a straightforward answer
When having those emotionally deep conversations or being vulnerable with them. They laugh it off, dismiss it, change the subject, or try to debate it like your feelings aren't really your feelings. They could also blow up and become mad or upset at these feelings too. Instead of empathizing, understanding, or trying to comprehend what you are feeling.
They will side step any emotional depth and keep everything surface level or compensate by being overly sexual. Because emotional vulnerability is really scary for them /s so they gave to compensate with the physical vulnerable by being a gross creepy perv.
They will have an excuse for everything. And nothing is ever their fault. So being broke in mountains of debt and unemployed. Is because of circumstance not because of their own choices and decisions. And not understanding the amount of s**t they are really in.
Randomly screaming profanities in public libraries would also be a nopitty noper.
Note: this post originally had 32 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Probably get downvoted for this but I guarantee I'm not the only one thinking it. Apart from a few gender specific things, most of these can relate to anyone who isn't emotionally mature, or just mature in general.
Yeah I'm not sure why these are aimed at a particular sex. Most of these can be applied to women as well. In fact, several of them reminded me of particular women.
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I'm female. So in the interest of equality, is there going to be a "emotionally immature women" post as well? I'm not sure I added any value to my day by reading this. Apparently I need to stick to the happy/funny/meme-y posts! (I detest daylight saving time and am exhausted, forgive me.)
There's plenty of them! You just have to specifically search for them, or sometimes they'll eventually pop right up in your feed instead. From the time I've been on bored panda, I've seen around 10 of them so far.
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Idk I'm personally getting a little bored of them, but most of these lists are snatched up from reddit, including the "AskWomen", "AskMen" subreddits etc.. Which is why most of these posts are all Identical.
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OK, so everyone pretty much agreed on these traits as typical of an immature male. So can someone please explain why around 63 million Americans in 2016 wanted such a person as their president and, having seen those traits on display for four years, a *further* 11 million Americans in 2020 said "more please"
I heard this same complaint, but the end worded...differently. "11 million Americans in 2020 said "harder daddy"" 😆
Load More Replies... This whole thing reads like a list of things people didn't like about their exes
As a woman I feel that asking people to make this list is a good way to tell if a specific woman is immature mentally. >~>;
As a woman, this list is offensive and I'm going to fix it: if SHE thinks it's the man's responsibility to make all the money and complains/throws a tantrum when she has to get a job and pay bills. When SHE looks at her children as social media capital. When SHE thinks it's cute to Facebook/ Instagram stalk old friends and exes. When SHE talks about a man's penis size as if it matters. When SHE has "red flags" that include height, weight, and income minimum requirements. When HER bills are late but she just spent $400 at Ulta and thinks the solution is to find a man to "take care of her." When SHE thinks female empowerment means belittling men or the men in her life. I could go on...
most descriptions fit two categories - the slacker and the narcissist. but they are at the opposite sides, and the narcissist is the new normal now - conscious efforts were put in this. how would you call the snitcher, the pro-war party, the karen, the libertarian or its opposite, the canceller? they are narcissists whose character becomes more visible in a context or another.
I don't understand why they made these seem men-specific when I know for a fact I have seen grown women also behave in this manner...very unbecoming so. Can we quit gender bashing? That in itself is a sign of immaturity.
All of these sound like emotional and/or verbal abuse. I lived with it for almost 16 years. And my ex was like 90 percent of these descriptions. But as many have already said, this can happen to a woman or a man and everyone in between.
Probably get downvoted for this but I guarantee I'm not the only one thinking it. Apart from a few gender specific things, most of these can relate to anyone who isn't emotionally mature, or just mature in general.
Yeah I'm not sure why these are aimed at a particular sex. Most of these can be applied to women as well. In fact, several of them reminded me of particular women.
Load More Replies... I'm female. So in the interest of equality, is there going to be a "emotionally immature women" post as well? I'm not sure I added any value to my day by reading this. Apparently I need to stick to the happy/funny/meme-y posts! (I detest daylight saving time and am exhausted, forgive me.)
There's plenty of them! You just have to specifically search for them, or sometimes they'll eventually pop right up in your feed instead. From the time I've been on bored panda, I've seen around 10 of them so far.
Load More Replies... Idk I'm personally getting a little bored of them, but most of these lists are snatched up from reddit, including the "AskWomen", "AskMen" subreddits etc.. Which is why most of these posts are all Identical.
Load More Replies... OK, so everyone pretty much agreed on these traits as typical of an immature male. So can someone please explain why around 63 million Americans in 2016 wanted such a person as their president and, having seen those traits on display for four years, a *further* 11 million Americans in 2020 said "more please"
I heard this same complaint, but the end worded...differently. "11 million Americans in 2020 said "harder daddy"" 😆
Load More Replies... This whole thing reads like a list of things people didn't like about their exes
As a woman I feel that asking people to make this list is a good way to tell if a specific woman is immature mentally. >~>;
As a woman, this list is offensive and I'm going to fix it: if SHE thinks it's the man's responsibility to make all the money and complains/throws a tantrum when she has to get a job and pay bills. When SHE looks at her children as social media capital. When SHE thinks it's cute to Facebook/ Instagram stalk old friends and exes. When SHE talks about a man's penis size as if it matters. When SHE has "red flags" that include height, weight, and income minimum requirements. When HER bills are late but she just spent $400 at Ulta and thinks the solution is to find a man to "take care of her." When SHE thinks female empowerment means belittling men or the men in her life. I could go on...
most descriptions fit two categories - the slacker and the narcissist. but they are at the opposite sides, and the narcissist is the new normal now - conscious efforts were put in this. how would you call the snitcher, the pro-war party, the karen, the libertarian or its opposite, the canceller? they are narcissists whose character becomes more visible in a context or another.
I don't understand why they made these seem men-specific when I know for a fact I have seen grown women also behave in this manner...very unbecoming so. Can we quit gender bashing? That in itself is a sign of immaturity.
All of these sound like emotional and/or verbal abuse. I lived with it for almost 16 years. And my ex was like 90 percent of these descriptions. But as many have already said, this can happen to a woman or a man and everyone in between.
