29 People Call Out What Things We Should Stop Accepting As Normal And Call Them What They Are – Sexist
Society has normalized a lot of things that are blatantly sexist—that’s what the ‘Power To Her’ channel shared in a viral TikTok video that caught the attention of many women on the platform. According to the ‘Power to Her’ project’s video, one of the most mind-blowingly sexist things that are still prevalent in modern society is the fact that women are pressured to change their last names once they get married.
Meanwhile, other TikTokers pitched in with their own examples of what kinds of sexist behaviors have been normalized. From brides wearing white dresses that symbolize purity, innocence, and virginity, and fathers ‘giving away’ their daughters after they walk them down the aisle to other sexist behaviors that you can find in everyday life. Have a look at some of the most insightful responses to ‘Power To Her’s’ video and upvote the ones that you’ve noticed in society, too, dear Pandas.
More info: TikTok | PowerToHer.org
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I've tried numerous times and asked numerous doctors if I can have my tubes tied because I don't want to have children, nor does my husband. They want to have a meeting with both me and my husband, they tell me I'll probably change my mind, that I'm too young or that I need to wait until I have at least one child. Even though I don't want any. But my husband can make a phone call and set up an appointment, just like that.
THIS. Even if the laws are on your side, most doctors won't do it and give you all kinds of illegal and irrelevant excuses, and there's nothing you can do about it, except for going from doctor to doctor until you luck out. Had a huge fight with my former OBG/YN because he wouldn't tie my tubes because "I was too young (23) and eventually *my husband* could want kids. I literally kicked him in the nuts while cursing at him. Would do it again.
I whacked a doc in the gonads when he was giving me an exam when he said it wouldn't hurt if I had endometriosis... He lied, it hurt, I have it, and I regret ZERO. I'd have laughed if I was arrested, but the nurse was laughing when the doc hit the floor, so.... yep.
Load More Replies...I can't understand the argument "What if your future husband wants kids?" Why would you marry someone who wants kids when you don't?
Are men asked what their future wives would think, if they sign up for vasectomies? Men who've looked into the procedure, please tell us!
Load More Replies...And anyway we can always sign if they want and we won't go back to tell "oh i regretted it and it's your fault!"
Load More Replies...I am currently awaiting a salpingectomy. When I had my consult with the gyno, i knew that it would be difficult for me to be approved due to my age, even though I already have kids. I explained that the idea of me falling pregnant fills me with great anxiety. I also mentioned that if my contraception failed that I would have an abortion. After the consult the gyno went to the person in charge to seek approval. I was approved immediately. I am currently on the waiting list and can't wait to get it over and done with.
THIS times a thousand. The only person asking my hubby about his vasectomy? Was hid dad. Me wanting tubes tied for my health? Oh hell no. Heaven forbid I control MY body and MY reproduction after being told I wasn't gonna be able to have kids!
I have been denied three times a hysterectomy despite having a medical condition (adenomyosis) that can only be permanently cured having one. Despite not having kids. Then i was pushed to have other surgery without being told that if i got pregnant its really dangerous for me. Even with that in mind the gyn refused to sterilise me.
I had endometriosis. I did want kids, which I had at 40, through IVF. I asked for a hysterectomy multiple times after that. So, in spite of the fact that I did have children, was in my 40's and had a medical condition, it took another 9 years and a female doctor to finally get my hysterectomy.
Load More Replies...And yet if any random woman wants to have a child, no doctor would ever question her choice there. But having your tubes tied is somehow different? It isn’t. People are just trained to see women as birthing factories.
My 30+ year old friend had stage 4 endometriosis so bad she couldn't function. Dr wouldn't approve a hysterectomy because she was unmarried and she might meet a man who wanted kids one day. This is so f'd up.
School dress codes. This logic about girls needing to "cover up" is so problematic and flawed, because we're teaching girls that they are responsible for how men act when they show any part of their body.
Speaking as a survivor of Catholic school? Oh yeah. Our skirts had to be at our shins, below the tops of our socks... What, a peek of shinbone was THAT alluring? That wasn't we girls being "alluring". That was men being seriously perverted!
Load More Replies...But this isn't the only reason for a dress code. Having a dress code takes the stigma out of the inability to keep up with the rich kids. Some kids can't afford the Air Jordans or the nicest clothes. It's also less distracting if everyone is dressed exactly the same. There's no peacocking or making an entrance based on clothes.
Yes, that's true, but the way the dress code is enforced on young women isn't about this.
Load More Replies...I understand the author statement. But I think that having a dress code ( both for boys and girls) for school is essential. It's a form of respect towards other people and the istitution to not come to school in pyjamas or in shorts. But if the justification for dress code is only about the girls being provocative then they should also implement education class for the people that can't controls their impulses.
And no repercussion for pervy guys, just telling girls to cover up, and that it's their fault.
And that continues into our adulthood. I had a fight with a boyfriend once about how I wore a tank top and tight pants in a “bad neighborhood” and would attract attention. While that may be true, I should be free to live my life how I want and wear anything without being harassed by strangers and then blamed by the boyfriend.
Load More Replies...One day everyone in my science class was complaining about the dress code so we decided to all wear leggings (that were not allowed) with shirts that -gasp- show your collarbone. We all were sent to the principal's office, but the principal being a girl, did nothing. We didnt get in trouble except for a warning
Can't agree more with this one. It's got nothing to do with girls and what they wear -- teach your boys to not assault/harass women.
The logic is ridiculous and completely f****d. How about just do school uniforms.
Recently, girls in my country have been protesting against the double standard and the fact that clothes are described as "provocative". Very interesting to watch! So proud of these girls :)
this is flawed it is about controling what you put out , you cannot control what other think or feel or act or react, but you can control what what you let others see.
The prefix for men is Mr. and the prefix for women is Miss, Ms. and Mrs. A prefix for women is directly dependent on if she is single or married. It stays Mr. for men all their lives.
The other two should be eliminated entirely, imo. Ms. works for all.
Load More Replies...This is why Germany abandoned the use of Fräulein (not married woman) and only uses Frau now. We stopped using it in the late 90ies/ early 2000
Yes!! Same reason Netherlands banned "juffrouw/mejuffrouw" in the 70's (except for school teachers. They're always juffrouw somehow, married or not).
Load More Replies...In many countries, they have eliminated prefixes for women based on marriage status. For instance, its been illegal in France for about 10 years to use mademoiselle in government documents.
So why have miss and mrs? I think that's the point of the post.
Load More Replies...This is mostly an english language thing though. It's not like that in every language.
I mean that's not entirely true, lots of European languages do something similar. Like frau/fräulein ... There's no male equivalent it's just herr. Lots of others do this too.
Load More Replies...Before you claim 'Ms' is a default, look it up. In it's original use, a woman who used Ms was a widow.
Have an alternative? Since hardly anyone knows that, for me it has now lost that meaning so I would still prefer Ms.
Load More Replies...The ‘Power To Her’ organization aims to empower women in their communities. “We hope to encourage social change through promoting, educating and providing the necessary tools and services for progress,” the project explains on its website.
The founder of ‘Power To Her,’ Sachreet Chahal and Shuchi Jain, seek to end gender-based inequalities on a global level. Having met at the Schulich School of Business, the two women eventually grew closer together, shared the things they faced as women, and decided to form the organization.
Back in 2017 I bought a house as a single woman, this year I sold it. My and my partner decided to buy a new house together. With the money I made from selling my old house, I put the entire down payment on the new one. The mortgage company, the insurance, home warranty addresses him as the owner of this house and I'm the "co-borrower".
Depends on the mortgage company. Some do it based on income, some do it based on who is top of the application, some do it by age. Its not a sexist thing. Ours is based on income so my wife is primary even though I handled the process start to finish. Who gives a s**t?
Load More Replies...If you got the new mortgage together, you're co-borrowers, and his name came first on the application. ---- source: the mortgage guy I married. You are equal owners and equally liable regardless of the phrasing.
not sure where this is located, but every time we've bought property, the lender asks us which of us would like to be primary/secondary
UK. Highest salary is what the mortgage is calculated on and so is first on the paperwork.
You could have put your name first but regardless, it doesn't matter as you are co-owners and co-borrowers.
My bosses business was somehow put under her husbands name and neither one of them did that
Well, she could have demanded to be the primary person on the loan. The mortgage company, insurance, home warranty are doing nothing wrong, they're just going by what's on the paperwork (PS: when husband and wife are buying the car I usually put wife as buyer if she is the primary driver)
When we were closing on our home, the seller's representative said to my husband "I see that the mortgage is on your name, so you have to do all the work" and then turned to me and said "oh and all YOU have to do is to sit and look pretty ". I really wanted to punch her in the face.
Yes! I make way more money and yet I'm listed as co-borrower on the mortgage and "spouse" on the taxes. It has always bothered me.
A woman with boundaries is selfish, rude, mean, harsh. A man with boundaries is confident, powerful, successful, ambitious.
A woman is 'bossy' a man 'has good leadership skills'. In same vein though women are sensitive & men are soft.
A woman is a bitch, a man is assertive or a "boss"
Load More Replies...OMG yes. This is proven by one of my opinion posts. I told a story of how I went off on a man after mansplaining and I was the villain. So ridiculous.
I was a supervisor for years before making management (not due to gender, they are slow to promote anyone, I earned it in fewer yrs then some of the men). A lot of females come to me asking for advise on becoming/being a new supervisor. I tell them it's tough. They will be called/considered a b***h when they are firm even if they are nice about it. I tell all my supervisors regardless of gender to stick with it, be firm, fair, and respectful to staff, and never yell/scream at them.
I call shenanigans on that. Maybe you are just around the wrong men.
When people come up to me and tell me my daughter's really beautiful and that I better watch our for her when she gets older. Like, they're actually expecting our daughters to be sexually assaulted.
Okay. So where I live. We have arranged marriages. I don’t mind. What I do mind is that I’m 17 and our weird neighbour hinted my mom that she thought I was pretty and her son was at marrying age. Ewgh. Creepy old ladies. Edit: Yes my parents shoed her away.
My great grandparents had an arranged marriage in 1920. She was 18, he was 30. They HATED each other for over 60 years. Don't let anyone tell you who to marry.
Load More Replies...Worse, they're saying that they deserve to be sexually assaulted just because they're pretty and female.
What a spectacular overreaction! It's intended as a compliment. The girl or boy (it can apply to either) is attractive and saying that, is suggesting that they will get lots of romantic interest and a large pool of potential suitors to choose from when they are older. And you reckon people are saying that to their niece and meaning she deserves to be sexually attacked? Absolute rubbish. Everybody just wants to be offended these days.
Load More Replies...And yet, even "unattractive" girls get assaulted. UGH. This whole thing just... UGH.
Actually, physically and mentally disabled women are at VERY high risk of being raped. Women in comas get raped. Elderly women get raped. ...///... It's not about sex. It's about power and causing pain.
Load More Replies...It's meant as a compliment ... not that they'll be assaulted , but they'll get a lot of attention
Gross and creepy anyway, even if they didn’t mean she’d be assaulted. Nobody should be looking at a kid and thinking about their future sexuality or whatever.
That's not necessarily what was meant. It could mean that she will have boys/girls chasing her wanting to date her. People used to say that about my son. Told me to watch out, all the girls are going to be fighting over him.
I always took it as "Be ready, because so many boys will be hanging out on your porch just talk to her."
Yes.. thats how most people mean it.. unless they're just a sicko
Load More Replies...This usually means that she will attract a lot of boys/girls and it's said equally for boys and girls. It's a cute way to say they will be attractive when older. There is no insinuation of a negative occurence.
I've said it to my cousin because her daughter is very smart and goofy like we were growing up. Has nothing to do with fighting off boys, just she's already a handful with friends and activities. You don't have to be the prettiest girl or boy in class to have an active social life.
Load More Replies...“Power To Her means giving the power back to each and every single woman and providing them with the help and resources to live their most authentic life,” they explain.
Founder Shuchi, a professional dancer and choreographer with a penchant for traveling and content creation, hopes to raise awareness about the issues that women face through the project. Meanwhile, Sachreet, an aspiring writer and a philanthropist, has always had a passion for social activism and always dreamed about starting a non-profit organization.
Women are forced to take sole responsibility for contraception, when women are only fertile 3-5 days of the year. Men are fertile every single day of the year. The biggest gimmick of all was that it was sold to us as a way of independence.
That must mean 3-5 days a month, not a year! Most women have a fertile period every cycle.
Actually it's right what the post says. A woman has 1 ripe egg cell per month which is fertile for 3-5 days. But actually, not every single month a woman has an egg cell that could become a baby because if might happen that the cell gets lost or damaged. It's ... Written very weirdly
Load More Replies...I choose to view it, that if I want to have sex, I should make sure I'm taking the proper precautions not to get pregnant because I don't want a baby right now. Same with STDs I get tested and I ask my partner to get tested. And for a lot of women in the 1950s when birth control first came out it was an source of independence, especially for young ladies who weren't married, and for those who were married and already had several children and didn't want anymore.
Personally I would prefer to take control and make sure I could not conceive rather than put the responsibility to someone who, when it comes to sex, lives in the moment.
I would rather be responsible for my own body than to depend on someone else to be
How male actors like Ryan Gosling or Leonardo DiCaprio can play the main character their entire careers but each time their female co-star/love interest gets younger.
Don't forget the actresses for the 'mums' are often only a few years older than the actors playing their 'son'
I think the best example is Sally Fields/Tom Hanks. In 1988's "Punchline" Sally is his friend and he hits on her. 6 years later she's his mom in "Forrest Gump" because her age passed a "0" ending.
Load More Replies...I like movies/series from the UK. They show normal relationships between the sexes, even to go so far as to show average-looking people close to the same age dating and actually being into each other and enjoying themselves! (Imagine that!)
Yeah, first time I watched a British show, as a teenager, I was like "wait, the ugly character is going to have sex? And that is not a comedic scene?". I was so conditioned by American media that it took me a moment.
Load More Replies...For Leonardo DiCaprio it's in real life too 😕 He's 46 and has never had a girlfriend older than 25.
Yeah. Kate Winslet literally plays grannies nowadays and Leo is still playing studs. C mon!
It was, like, seven to ten years ago that Amy Schumer did a famous sketch about this (Last F**kable Day), and things are still the same.
Yeah I'm not really a fan but she does have some funny bits, that and her 12 angry men inside Amy Schumer bit was great.I also think the hate she gets is intensified because she is a lady. There are plenty of annoying male comics that get way less vitriol than she does.
Load More Replies...Drives me nuts to see that older men are always paired with much younger women to be their love interests. I would love to see a movie where Betty white is paired with Brad Pitt for a love interest. It would never be made
Well Betty White is like 99 so I think it might be too late for that. And Brad Pitt is like old now anyway, he's almost 60. To be equivalent to the Leo stereotype you'd have to pair someone his age with someone young... So like Angelina Jolie (47) maybe with someone the age of the women Leo dates. But I agree I'd like to see more age appropriate pairings, and sure some where the trope is flipped.
Load More Replies...
It's not only normalized but viewed as "cute" when a man can't do the basic parts of parenting. "Oh my husband can't even be with the kids for two hours without calling me haha". "That's nothing, mine won't even touch the dirty diapers." What's funny about only women being expected to know how to take care of their children?
I have to say where I come from, that's not true (anymore). When I go on a 3 day trip with my girlfriends, the dads stay with the kids and it's perfectly normal. No problems whatsoever.
Same for The Netherlands and Scandinavian countries 🙂
Load More Replies...This is sexist both ways, I know a whole bunch of Fathers and we are all perfectly capable with our kids. Adverts and shows constantly portray Dads as bungling incompetents with Kids and it's supposed to be funny.
Agree. I get so cranky on behalf of both men and women when I see ads that make men out to be stupid and incapable.
Load More Replies...My sister in law is 10 years older than my husband.. when she had her first child his brother was 16 y.o. and baby sitted his nephew ( and later, the second and third nephew) he helped with all, from meals to change and nap . When we had our first son he was actually more prepared than me..he taught me how to hold our baby and helped me with the first diaper change.. he was wonderful while I didn't know what to do, he turned out to be a great father, we share all the duties that concern the children ...
My favourite is when they say they are "babysitting" their OWN CHILDREN, no IDIOT you are PARENTING!
This drives me nuts. After our daughter was born, my wife had to spend 10 days in the hospital due to complications. Certainly gave me a crash course in caring for a newborn. She came home, and after 2 months or so went back to work. I stayed at home and cared for our daughter. Same with my son, who came along about 15 months later. I was the primary caregiver for 5 years. My wife is a fantastic mother, but I have changed more diapers than she has (I used to take our friends 2 kids during the day so they could work), made more breakfast, lunch, and dinner than she has, and experienced more tantrums than she has. But guess what? She's made more money than I have, and made it possible for me to stay home with our children. Our kids are now 13 and 14, and we both work from home. I'm still the chief cook and bottle-washer, and take care of the house, but she's the one who diligently tracks their school work, chores, social life, etc. A relationship is all about sharing.
A single dad is brave and to be supported, a single mom not so much.
Yes and a single mom is shamed for not having a husband too, my parents are divorced and whenever my teachers found that out they acted like my mom was a horrible parent
Load More Replies...In our family it is just the opposite and not cute.. My wife can not be alone with our kids without calling me.. My brother-in-law is in the same situation if he travels his wife sends their kids to her mom's place..
I remember being out with my dad as a kid back in the 80s. A friend of his said to him so you're babysitting then? My dad replied no, I'm looking after my daughter. Babysitting is what I give my older daughter extra pocket money for to look after her when my wife and I want to go out in the evening.
‘Power To Her’ bases its activities on three main pillars in order to empower “a large network of women from different backgrounds and ethnicities.”
The first pillar that the project is founded on is all about mutual support and growth. The second is about educating society about women’s issues, gender stereotypes, toxic beauty standards, access to education, inequality in the workplace, and the lack of women in positions of power. The final pillar is providing people with the necessary tools and services to empower them to give back to marginalized communities.
Whenever a girl has an attitude or is in a bad mood, she gets asked if it's her "time of the month".
And it's true, men have hormonal cycles too. "Manstruation" cycles were proposed to be monthly, though the results were never replicated, but have been shown to be daily cycles. I mean this to be informative, and in no way comparing what men experience to what women experience. A good laymen's explanation can be found here: https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/82275/do-men-have-monthly-hormone-cycle
Load More Replies...I hate this one. So I've learned to say, 'Maybe, but what's your excuse?" Yes, I'm a "b-tch" by those standards. But why aren't men "a-holes"?
I also say the same! Yes it is what's your excuse for being an asshole?
Load More Replies...No, it's not. I'm pissed off all year, every day and no, I'm not gonna smile for you. Hit the road.
Facts. I don’t smile at anyone, have anxiety and anger issues, you would not believe how often I get asked if it’s my period.
Load More Replies...This! Makes me mad every time! Also, if a woman gets angry, she's told to stop being hysterical.
If women would start naming their times of the month it'd be much easier for us to remember what issue they are referring to...
When I'm mad at my stepbrothers for being ignorant my stepmother will be like she will say that I'm on my period like wtf its always the excuse im mad because im mad. Simple as that
It's so normalized for women to change their last name after getting married. This is the name you got your degree with, the name associated with all your accomplishments. Yet society just expects you to pack it up and change it the second you get married.
The fact that so many men expect their S/O to change their last name for them is a red flag.
I understand all the arguments for why you would want to change your last name. To be part of the family and it's easier for the kids and all that. BUT the fact is that the pressure is solely put on women.
I never changed my name. I love my husband, but I'm his wife/partner, not his sister. And I'm quite pissed that my children MUST have my husbands name, why not both surnames?
Nothing is stopping you from giving your children double barrelled names. But still....Damn you society!!
Load More Replies...Friends of mine both just picked a new last name when they married. New start for both. And my wife wanted mine partly because her dad was a jerk. New start for her. Change if you want/need, don't if you don't.
When I got married, I took my wife's surname. I had no attachment to my own, and wanted to support her and show I wasn't going to be controlling her life. My father really didn't like it, and neither did her parents. None of the arguments I've heard explain why the women should change her name, just explain why one of the people should change their name. It's horrible that the pressure is on women.
I've been married for almost 14 years now and, though we initially followed the traditional route (purely because it's the norm), as of about 2 years ago we decided to switch to my wife's surname. I identify much more as part of her family than the one I grew up in
Load More Replies...I didn't change mine because I just couldn't think of myself with another name. I felt my identity was somehow linked to my full name. I did get a lot of criticism, but I didn't care. However, my best friend and her husband did something cool; they both changed their last names to a joint version after they got married, like Smith-Jones. Their kids got that joint last name too when born.
I always thought this was really weird. It feels like aggressive ownership to slap your name on anything, let alone a person. In the overall context, it seems that ownership is exactly the point.
Of course it's not for every one and certainly shouldn't be forced upon or be an expectation. I took my hubby's last name and I love it. Much better than my maiden surname.
There is no woman on the planet that has her own last name. Your last name is your father's last name, as is your mother's and her mother's, so on and so on....
So? In the same way, you could argue that no man has his own name, either... after all, his name is his father's name...
Load More Replies...In Korea (and I guess in other Asian countries as well) women never take the husband's name, they think it is a weird tradition in the Western culture. I think it comes from the idea that they got their names from their parents, who they respect, therefore they wouldn't change their names ever.
I can understand that, but I really dislike my last name. Therefore I would happily take my husband's, if I ever married. It is not disrespect to my parents in any way.
Load More Replies...I encouraged my beloved not to take my name, but she had some serious issues with her father and was glad to change it. I'm glad she took my name by choice not by pressure or tradition.
When anything happens to a woman, be a crime or an accident, they're almost always referred to as a wife/mother first on a news broadcast. The fact that she's not reffered by her name first but by her relationship to others is messed up. There's always a difference when men are mentioned. It's always "local man", and then they later mention that he's a husband or a father.
In the netherlands they recently referred to the royal couple as "The queen and her husband" in a newspaper, fun fact: in this case the husband is actually the monarch of the country i.e. he is the king
If the main thrust of the article was about the Queen, rather than the King, or them as a couple , this is correct.
Load More Replies...I think it also depends on the nature of the news. If it's some kind of "tragedy" you want to stress the fact that he/she has kids to make it more emotional. If it's something more mundane, like politics, they usually refer to respondents by their job ( "local eterpreneur", " citizen of..." ). At Ieast in my county.
Yes, like "*Name*, mother/daughter/sister/partner of *Name*........."
Ive never really noticed this, but I don't live a high crime area. But a description of who someone is in news is only to garner more interest &/or sympathy.
It's the it more respectful to be called a wife or mother, rather than a local man? If it's sexist in any way it would be towards them man.
When this sort of thing is done automatically, it's very irritating to me. Introducing someone by which famous person is their spouse makes sense if we otherwise wouldn't recognize that person, but it's automatic even if 'spouse of whoever' is a celebrity on their own. Especially if their name is entirely left out of the story!
Literally everything about traditional weddings. Your dad gives you away so that you can be passed from one man to another man. You have to wear a white dress, because if you're not a virgin, you're [useless]. It's bad luck for the man to see the bride on the day of the wedding because back when marriages were all arranged, if the guy saw the bride before, sometimes he would want to call it off because he didn't fancy her, and that would bring shame on...the bride. That's also why the veil is a thing. Traditionally, the bride's family pays for the wedding.
This depends on where you live, most of these don't apply to my culture. In my country the bride and groom make their entrance together for both the civil and church marriage ceremonies. There is no giving away of the bride as part of the marriage ceremony itself.
White dress were no a thing until queen Victoria wore one, women used to wear a new fancy dress and were expected to use this dress in another party or ceremony. Its has nothing to do with purity, it was pure fashion.
When did the white-dress-equals-virginity thing happen? We know exactly when white wedding dresses came into vogue down to the day (thanks, Vic), but when did it start to equate to a claim of virginity?
Load More Replies...But that's the thing with traditions, they stay the same even as times change. If you don't want to do them, no worries. You do you.
Yup. And I think these meanings fade over time, it’s just the tradition that people want to keep. Like the white dress.
Load More Replies...I don’t know about this. It’s bit of exaggerated. These are just traditions and I don’t think that when your dad walks you to the altar, anybody sees it as he is literally giving you to another man. I understand it used be like that in past, but now it’s just innocent tradition which I think is beautiful to both, the daughter and also her dad. Feminists just need to calm down, not everything is sexist and oppressive.
Goodness sake there's enough hatred in the world against women that we don't need to start ripping one another down for traditions we enjoy in our own private affairs. I never found it humiliating or sexist and my father certainly never considered me his "property". I loved it as a father-daughter thing and a way to involve him in the ceremony.
Load More Replies...Actually Queen Victoria set the standard when she married in 1840. It was never about virginity but rather a fashion statement that the West adopted and now everything thinks it's about virginity and it's being perpetuated which is pretty dumb
Yes, white requires a lot of money to keep clean and produce--it was a status symbol, not about purity--but it eventually became one.
Load More Replies...If you feel like you "have" to do these things, that's your hangup.
Nowhere in this post does it claim that people "have" to do those things. Nowhere in this post does it say anything like "stop making people do this". You are jumping to conclusions about the intent and purpose of these posts.
Load More Replies...Omg I didn't do all stuff even in 2003. Hubbie and I walked the isle together, I had a silver dress because that was my favorite colour, kept my own name... There are no rules by law; except for saying the words. It's your day, so make it your day! You want to wear white, do that... Make new traditions, do so to. And don't forget there will always be someone whining, ignore them!
All the things you have listed do not have to happen, it is just people wanting tradition on their special day, that is all.
Or you just go to a judge, do a civil ceremony, no giving/taking/BS. the end. :-)
Shaving. If a woman doesn't shave, it's considered "manly" and "nasty". Makeup is targeted specifically towards women, and when a man uses it, he's considered less of a man.
I personally like how my legs look when I shave them, which is why I shave them. If someone doesn't like that on themselves or just doesn't want to, they shouldn't be forced to. Same thing for makeup.
I like my legs smooth but I'm aware that it's only because the society taught me to like it. 100 years ago no woman preferred her legs shaved. It's one of those things that I'm aware of but can't seem to let go.
Load More Replies...In high school, I felt bad for the boys for not being able to wear make up. Foundation covers up breakouts and the girls could hide their pimples and the boys couldn't.
This only speaks for today. Back when, men would wear powdered wigs and rouge and heels. Just not fashionable nowadays.
I don't even notice my wife's long leg hair anymore. She will one day and then ask why l didn't tell her. Didn't notice...
I shave my legs because they are less itchy when I wear pants but my best friend doesn't shave hers and I met someone at school who referred to her as "the girl who doesn't shave her legs" and I got so mad because we are so young and already shaving our legs is the norm and if you don't then you get made fun of for it
Oh also I left out that when she told her mom that people where making fun of her for not shaving her legs her mom forced her to get a razor instead of teach her about the sexist norms in society
Load More Replies...Women don't kill themselves to look good for men, but for other women.
I shave because I don't like have hairy legs or pits , not because I have to.
Giving the mothers the custody on Monday-Friday, and giving the dads the weekends where they get to be the fun parent, no school, no pickups, no homework.
Could be avoided if parents behaved like grown ups when splitting up and work things out fairly for them and their children, though... But it seems a lot of people forget their children come first, not their mutual hatred.
YES! Parents should work together and it is terrible that they can't put their children first.
Load More Replies...My mom works in custody and is supposed to help fix that. She does a good job from what I hear
Load More Replies...Blame it on a system that favours the mothers more than the fathers when it comes to custody.
It’s easy to blame the system, but it’s also often the men, many of whom never pursue any sort of custody of their own children.
Load More Replies...It's a matter of perspective. From another point of view, the mother gets most days with the kids and has her weekend free.
And the kids get some stability in their life. How do you expect them to go to school of they are with their father on tuesday and wednesday, and he lives in a totally different part of the city? Not everyone drives their kids to school.
Load More Replies...To me, that's the guys getting screwed. If I ever divorced, I would want as much time with my kiddo as possible. The fun dad may come as you have exactly 2 days to make the most of your time with your kid.
This post is laughable, because at least in the US, divorce and custody proceedings are tipped way in favor of the woman. The glorious down votes this will get proves the point.
If the kids are safe, it should be 50/50, no questions asked. One week on, one week off. Unfortunately, family law consistently favours mothers.
What if the parents live away from each other, the kids would have to be one week to one school, then one week to another? Why would they have to pay the price?
Load More Replies...It's easy if your father is like MY father: Since my parents divorced 14 yrs ago (I was 9) he picked me up TWICE. One time cinema, one time zoo. Every time it was only like 2,5 hours each, because there was this goddamned football match in the afternoon he had to see. What an A*****E!!!
The family court system overwhelmingly favors the mother. Dad could make 10x more money and live in a better, safer area, and they'd still rather give mom custody and have him forking over child support along with his little weekend visits.
That's a lie. The family court system is male-dominated and really hates women. You never see anybody admitting that DADS falsely accuse WOMEN, but it's practically a religious belief among dudes who are just eager to believe bad s**t about women. Oh, and don't try and whine about parental alienation, which was invented by MRAs, is acknowledged by NO reputable scientific----and, in fact, is rejected by them----and is only used by men against women.
Load More Replies...My cousin's custody arrangement is 4 on 4 off with her ex husband because it follows his firefighter shift work. sometimes it is weekends, sometimes it isn't.
The way society expects girls to be polite vs the way women expect men to be polite. Women are raised to be overly polite from childhood. This is a huge disservice to women — their conditioning to be polite can be so strong that it can lead to situations that put their safety in danger.
I once saw a experiment on TV, where the girl stopped saying "thank you" for a whole day. She wasn't being rude at all, was smiling when she felt like it and talking in a normal tone. Whenever her boyfriend gave her a compliment or something, or did something normal like passing the remote control or just normal relationship stuff, she answered him but didn't thank him. and by the end of the day he was absolutely mad at her, for no "real" reason. I think about this sometimes, because I say "thank you"all the time, even when it's not "my turn" to say it but men don't say "thank you" half as much, and it's totally okay.
As a man, my parents always taught me to say please and thank you. As a male Canadian, I also say sorry, even when it's "not my turn"
Load More Replies...I agree its ridiculous that women's lives are threatened by kindness but I think its equally ridiculous to feel men shouldn't be held to similar politeness standards. Few men have suffered for sending a thank you card. A long time ago, I had a discussion with friends about the Seinfeld ending and was convinced their conviction was right. Most crimes are just further on the spectrum of being an asshole. If you'd ask your mom first before taking $10 out of her purse and would never talk about her breasts, why would you think its ok to steal a car or yell obscenities at women walking down the street?
Yeah, the best answer to this issue is to raise the standards for the men, too. What goes around, comes around. Basic courtesy makes life easier for everyone.
Load More Replies...My dad expected subservience from women. My mom expected basic courtesy. If he hadn't been away from home a lot, that whole Catholic-no-divorce thing for Mom would've been as tossed out as he should've been. IMO
Well, it's always good to be polite . Not everyone has common sense I guess. You can be polite and still be in charge
Really? My son is very polite. And in my opinion the only that puts you in danger is being naive, to shy to speak up, or reckless.
I have a little brother who is the most disrespectful little sod ever. He punched my sister for asking him to move. Because she didn’t say please. 5 bucks if you manage to guess who got yelled at by my dad.
Load More Replies...Absurd, my parents taught all of us to be polite, not just my sisters. We should be able to expect common civility and it's sad that we even have to discuss it like this
That's not the point. They are not talking about common courtesy. They are talking about how women have to be nice to even men harassing them on the street or else they'll get stabbed. Or how they cannot reject a creepy man for fear of being attacked. Or even the example of My husband of 15 years paying me a compliment. We've been together since high school. I don't need to say the traditional "thank you," after so many years we have our own way of saying thanks to each other with our facial expressions because we are not formal. However, other people got angry I didn't say thank you or act politely enough to the compliment. My husband had to step in and tell them to back off. But they didn't seem to care if he said thank you or not.
Load More Replies...You are either taught or not to be polite, from my experience, regardless of sex. Being polite and subservient are not the same, though. But even so, some people are, some people aren't.
So not true. I'm super polite and then men I know are. How dose that put you in danger?! Lear to be polite and stand up for yourself, not that complicated
So I'm getting my banner ready for the next march: "Manners are sexist and can be dangerous for women". Have I really just read that?
If a man starts creeping on a woman, she will not tell him to f off or shout at him because she was taught to always be polite. This hesitation may seem like an invitation to the creep and it might end tragically for the woman. So yes, manners might cost a lot sometimes.
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I carried my baby for 9 months and birthed her, and yet she has my husband's last name.
The way last names work in most countries you'll always end up with a man's last name.
Load More Replies...In the UK we choose our baby's last name when we register them - it isn't automatic as some people think.
Yeah, my wife kept her last name, but when it came to the kids, she was just "give them your last name, it will be easier".
Load More Replies...If following society isn't a choice what is it ? You don't have to do it, therefor you can choose to do it or choose not to
Load More Replies...Upvote for the Shakespeare reference
Load More Replies...In Hispanic families the mothers name is the middle name and fathers name is the last. As an amateur genealogist, this makes things SUPER helpful trying to find and validate records
Some states (in the U.S.) require you to register the baby's surname as the father's last name, if the father is known. Mississippi and Louisiana requires the husband's surname if the woman is married; Indiana actually requires that the woman's surname be used, if she is unmarried unless there's an affadavit of paternity; North Dakota requires that the surname be one of the parents', so no making up a portmanteau of the parents' names... Tennessee has complicated rules. So not necessarily a choice!
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Why do we say "grow a pair" or "get some balls" when referring to a situation where someone needs to be strong or tough?
Works both ways, "crying like a girl" and "being a pussy"
It's not really working both ways- it's the same stupid gender stereotypes. Sexism means we all lose!
Load More Replies...“Why do people say "grow some balls"? Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” - Betty White
agree with noralin, " Balls are weak and sensitive. If you wanna be tough, grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.” - Betty White take it from the press
Load More Replies...Ironically, balls are one of the most vulnerable, sensitive parts of the anatomy: a gentle knock can cause considerable pain and completely incapacitate a man. Pussies, on the other hand, are remarkably tough, and have evolved to deal with extreme trauma in childbirth, on multiple occasions.
I love how they lampooned this in the TV series "The Magicians". Margo, the bad-ass queen, frequently tells men to "ovary up", and at one point, when a man is questioning his ability to do something, she says "You are *not* going to c**k out on me. I would have said pussy, but let's be honest, which one is stronger?"
Lol. That's my response when told to grow a pair. Up here or down there?
Load More Replies...That one lily allen song says it well "forget your balls and grow a pair of tits" theres also many other lines that say it all perfectly.
If you're a woman and you're walking anywhere, and there's a man coming at you, they'll expect you to move to accommodate them, they won't do it for you. I started playing a little game where I don't move for the man, and the amount of times they've run into me, because they expected me to move, is actually insane.
I call bs. I'm a woman and I've noticed that it's usually the women who won't move
Not a gender thing. More of a personality issue and phone zombies.
Load More Replies...I read about this in a study a few years ago and actually experimented with it myself for a little while. I now hold my course and dont acknowledge or move for them. Mostly they kind of look at me surprised, but I've had several bump into me and one stop dead and demand to know why I had not made space for him! I replied with, well, you saw me... why didnt YOU make space for me? I was telling a male friend about my little experiment and he started checking it out too... firstly by noticing that he moved for men, but women moved for him. Then he started making a conscious decision to move for women and he was astounded.
I do the same. I can remember one dude, after he had to go around me as I stuck to the side I was on. "What the f**k?" he screamed. It was like I had wronged him. I shrugged and kept walking.
That`s very true - I have tried this some times when finding just EVERYONE running into me: making a conscious effort to straighten the back, focusing the eyes in front and just EXPECTING everyone to move because I`m going somewhere importand - and it makes all the difference. Lots of training carrying hot tea to my train every morning in a full station ;).
Load More Replies...Wow, this one really touches a nerve with people. I don't understand why so many readers have a hard time believing that many (not all) men have many ways of unconsciously asserting their dominance over women.
wtf, I always move for anyone, man or woman. It's polite, and also I don't expect anyone to do anything for me, so I always try to take initiative.
It's normalized to ask a woman "when are you expecting to have kids?". Would you ask that if I was a man? When corportations hire women, they usually anticipate that they're going to take a maternity leave and this is considered a due cost for them, and this is something that people use to justify the pay gap.
It's illegal to ask that question in Canada. I don't know about anywhere else.
Yeah it's illegal in the US so employers just assume it now and will pay you less or not hire you.
Load More Replies...yea but men dont birth the child and women do and its alot on your body even if your not having kids now you could in the future or accidentally
If I don't want kids, I'm making damn sure it stays that way
Load More Replies...I'm a man and I get asked all the time do you have kids? when are you going to have kids? why don't you want to have kids? And lets not forget how they always say to me "you'll change your mind!"
Where I work men get 6 months paid paternity leave, to match the 6 months maternity leave for female employees. That's obviously great and very progressive, but as a non-breeder feel a bit left out. Where's my goddamn 6 months?! :P
However, I did one time during a performance interview got told ; you will be working parttime any time soon. "And why is that?" I asked, "well" he said, " you just got married and probably now you will be having kids and want to stay at home, with your kids" I said : "you have kids, don't you want to stay at home with yours?" "neh" he said, "working parttime is not my cup of tea" . I told him it isn't my cup of tea either and also that my private life is none of his business. And then reported the story to HR.
Drinking. Everytime I order a whiskey on the rocks, men look at me like "really, you like whiskey?" Where does it say that girls are only allowed to drink wine or sangrias, and if she likes stronger drinks, she's trying to be something that she's not. And even with roles reversed, why are guys not allowed to order fruity drinks, how does that make him less of a man?
Who the fck gives this much thought to other people's opinions, anyway? I drink whisky and the one time someone pointed it out, I replied "are we making a list of all the drinks we orderdered?' and that was it.
Well the problem is that you asked for it on the rocks.... whiskey should always be neat. Thats the real problem.
Load More Replies...My favorite travel story involves my love of fruity drinks and my wife’s love of beer. Short version: We were in Montana, just a road trip. Stopped for the night and decided to hit the bar next to the hotel. She ordered a beer, and I announced, “I’d like a strawberry daiquiri!” You haven’t lived until you see every head in the place turn in stunned silence to glare at you, only to realize you are much larger than most of them and clearly don’t care what they think. “And can I get a sugar rim, please?” Sealed it. I like what I like, and my wife loves me for it. Had there been a Hollywood battle, I have zero doubt she’d be right there next to me cracking skulls too. Tiny as she is, my lady’s fearless.
Sounds like my husband. He looks like a lumberjack and loves sweet, tropical rum drinks and gives not a single, solitary s*** what anyone thinks about it. My cocktail tastes are for more stereotypically male drinks. Even when the person serving us the drinks is the same one who took our order, more often than not the pink thing with the umbrella gets set down in front of me.
Load More Replies...I fricking love the fruity drinks. Not a fan of “Men’s alcahol” at all. And surprisingly, I’m straight. Edit: recently figured out that I am not. I'm asexual. Second edit; So, it turns out I'm not a man either. It's been an interesting few years
My someone likes wine, I drink gin. The number of times we get the wrong glass...
I'd have to say gift giving. Presents from "mom and dad", but the dad has no idea what's in them because mom bought them.
That's not sexist- your partner is lazy ass if they can't be bothered to shop for their own kids.
one think is being sexist and the other is being lazy, although men gat away with lazy when it comes to kids...so a bit of both
Load More Replies...People often have roles in a relationship. My dad always did the dishes and mowed the lawn. My mom kept the finances and picked out gifts... so what. that's not sexist
In a relationship it's about leveraging what you're good at. I am absolutely terrible at picking out gifts. I would happily give that responsibility to my partner if they happen to be good at it. I have strong mechanical aptitude, so I'll take care of that stuff.
Load More Replies...Who says the dad isn't involved? We don't exactly know if he just trust his wife's judgement more than his own. When it comes to presents for anybody I let my GF hande it because I'm pretty dumb when it comes to such things
This! When I first started dating my husband I had never dated anyone with kids. At Xmas I picked out the gifts. He told me the boys were into but I made the suggestion. His tween daughter I picked out. I won't let him buy me gifts. He's awful! Lol! My ex boyfriend was good at gifts. Some people just don't have it.
Load More Replies...I enjoy gift shopping and love to take my time, whilst my hubby hates shopping and would rather get something quick and get out. I would rather do the shopping by myself. I even do my brothers Christmas shopping, not because I can't say no, but because I love doing it. Don't care whose money I spend lol. I also don't care that my hubby doesn't know what I bought everyone, he still contributed, he works for the money.
That's called good delegation because he doesn't want to put up with her bitching that he got the 'wrong' thing...
not sexist...lazy, lack of planning, lack of communication/discussion. "What should we get X for Christmas?" problem solved.
I dont agree with this sh*t. I cant remember the last time my mom let my dad buy a gift for me or anyone else
It's same in my house but that's more because my mum forgets to tell dad than he's lazy. Dad buys stuff as well tho just less
Our fathers walking us down the aisle whenever we get married, because that comes from a time when women were considered property. The father is giving his property away to a new man, because now the woman is supposed to be the husband's property. I feel like that should've been done with when women got rights, it's not cute. I'm not doing that.
I have no issue with the idea of my dad walking down the aisle with me. However, I would not include the line "who gives this woman to this man".
I absolutely loved when my dad walked me from the car. And that had nothing to do with changing 'ownership'. It was nice to have him by my side and walk with me. My mum died earlier that year but I'd have both of them in the car if she was alive.
I was at one wedding where the groom came came down the aisle at the beginning of the processional with his mother and father. The bride came down the aisle at the end of the processional with her parents. The parents on both sides gave their child to the other. This showed both support and equality in my mind.
It's just a tradition if you don't like it don't do it. Plus there are a lot of girls without dads.
That’s not what it means to people now. My father has been a big part of my life and I want to share that moment with him.
Head of house, to protect. It was his responsibility, now the husbands. If she is in a burning building he now has to go get her.
That is fine. Don't swap your dad's name for your husband's either. Also, don't do the $5,000 dress. If a $75 rented tux is good enough for your equal partner, then a dress (cough,... sexist) of equal value is good enough for you.
Organizing parties. Not only do women take care of the food, they also clean everything up afterwards. Men are just standing there unbothered.
Gotta say I never cooked a damn thing for thanksgiving dinner. Group of 30. Husband did all of it. I did clean up. We had a house rule. One cooks the other cleans.
Uh.... I cook the food b/c I liek to cook. He does the clean-up. This is not that universal. if you have a stand-around spouse, then talk about it to them, please!
The one BBQ I went to, the husband stood at the grill not knowing what to do with the burgers - stared while the group of women who attended, were working and not enjoying the get together. The wife of the husband eventually dumped him after that. None of us were happy none of the guys helped.
Men playing video games all day. If I were to play video games all day then I'd be neglecting my kid, but when a man does it, it's a good thing that he's home and not out there cheating.
Nowhere here it says that female gamers dont exist. It says that we cannot be 24/7 gaming like a kid would because we have to do housechores.
Load More Replies...Who ever said that? It's good he's not out there cheating? You need to surround yourself with better people.
Yeah, the further down in this list I get, the more it's like "whoa, you just have baaad people in your life".
Load More Replies...1.17777777777777777777777777777777!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Load More Replies...I game, do chores, look after my daughter, cook, and game some more. He does the same, minus cooking, we're a team, and it's sad to think that it's not always the case. We all enjoy life together.
Anyone playing games all day long needs a serious reality check, IMO.
Uhm, a father who's on the computer all day is not a father but a subtenant.
I think a lot of people assume that video games means sitting at a console in front of the TV. there are tons of women who spend all day on their phones playing games (as well as men). Look up the stats, it's pretty well a 50/50 split male and female gamers.
Girls are raised to be wives and told what they can or can't do in their present for what their future husband might like. You have to keep your "purity" because your future husband might like that, you can't wear that, you can't look this way, you can't post those videos, you have to know how to cook and clean as if those aren't human traits that we all need to know how to do as adults to stay alive. But "boys will be boys" and are allowed to do whatever they want.
In what century were you raised?? This hasn't been the norm for a lot of women in a lot of different countries for at least a few decades...
Perhaps where you are from this does not apply, but everything in this post is true to what I see in the day-to-day
Load More Replies...I was raised the same as my brothers. No sexism. No one forced me to cook and we all cleaned the house every Saturday, no ifs or buts about it.
Men are raised to be walking ATMs. Everything is about getting a job being able to have enough money for the family.
There must be few girls that are still raised like this but this is no longer the majority. This post is awful....
Girls are raised to be wives and told what they can or can't do in their present for what their future husband might like. You have to keep your "purity" because your future husband might like that, you can't wear that, you can't look this way, you can't post those videos, you have to know how to cook and clean as if those aren't human traits that we all need to know how to do as adults to stay alive. But "boys will be boys" and are allowed to do whatever they want.
Ummmm.... No. Boys should also be held to the same standard. They should be raised to be Husbands and Men, not boys and male sluts.
This isn't the 50's anymore. I rarely encounter people that think like this.
Engagement rings. We have a "symbol" on our hand saying we belong to someone else, while men get to go around and do whatever they want, no one knows if they're taken.
I had an engagement ring, it was such a relief to not have random people constantly proposing to me. Okay that last part is a lie, but I did have an engagement ring!
Load More Replies...I hope if someone proposes to the OP on this one they don't get her a ring. See how she reacts.
I'm not married but I used to wear a ring when going out clubbing, it kept away most of the lecherous men.
I did too at work before I was married. I hated when men thought Me being nice bc it was my job and they took it as flirting and would corner me. Couldn't be mean bc I'd get in trouble especially if they weren't outwardly being disrespectful
Load More Replies...Speaking of, I just had this conversation g with my parents. I said "Why do women always get these big ole chunky diamonds? I couldn't wear that I'd snag it on something. I'd rather have a plain little band" and my mom was like "well YOU don't get to pick it. It's the man giving to you so he gets to pick it." 1st of all, I'm gay. 2nd, why does the man get to pick the ring anyways? They aren't going to be the one wearing it. I want to be comfortable in a ring that I'm going to be wearing why don't I get to pick it out..
OH HE will know if he f***s up while engaged...she'll kill him
I wear a ring every day, and have no problem saying I'm taken because I'm proud of my wife.
When a woman decides to propose to a man, she is looked down by society. It's so normalized for only men to propose.
It's unusual for sure, but are women who do this actually looked down on? I've never met anyone who'd think that.
I know people who would look down on the man for not having proposed himself. But I hope this will change in the next decades.
Load More Replies...I had no ring, just the spurr of the moment. We were talking about something and my boyfriend said "when we get married... such and such" and I replied with "well then, will you marry me?" Took him a split second to say "Yes, and will you marry me?" I said yes and thus we were engaged. We kinda both proposed but I was first haha. We tied the knot last January in a 20 minute ceremony and 4 friends present. We are still waiting to have our wedding reception as we planned to have one last summer (my parents live abroad) but postponed it by 2 years.
Load More Replies...That's nonsense, too. A LOT of women propose to their future mates. The key is that most men LIKE that - it takes a lot of the pressure off them.
I proposed to my husband, I love that story and share it when context calls for it. All I got was high fives and tons of congrats so far. And I'm from a pretty conservative country, so I call bs on that one
Neither of us proposed, actually. We'd been talking for a long time about marriage and when we should do it (after we graduated university). And then we decided we would go out and pick out our rings together. Afterward, we had a nice lunch. Everyone expected to hear a story with a big romantic gesture, but it worked for us and we are happy.
I don’t think she’s looked down upon. If anything the man is looked down on for not proposing.
Had an ex who just dropped off the radar for about 36hrs without any warning late one February. No calls or responses to texts from me and he had made dinner plans for us during that time because anniversary so I was quite worried. When they finally answered their phone March 1 their explanation was "I didn't want you proposing to me". I had not even known it was a thing that on leap years women were "allowed" to propose. I had no intention of proposing ever. Just one of the reasons they are an ex
People would look down on the man, for not proposing. Only a minority would look down on the woman. And even that would be in the 1990s or something. Most people now would praise the woman.
Why are ships and cars referred to with the pronouns she/her? The English language doesn't really refer to things as "masculine" or "feminine". The fact that we personify these inanimate objects as women and give them female names, doesn't sit right with me. Research says that this has a variety of reasons, ranging from viewing a vessel as a motherly, womb-like, life sustaining figure, to jokingly likening a ship to a woman who is "expensive" to keep and needs a man to guide her, and a lick of paint to look good.
This is from way back when anglers went to sea for months at a time, so the owners usually named their boats after their wives so they had a piece of the hearth with them.
The irony of referring to ships as "she" is that sailors in some cultures believed it was bad luck to have a woman aboard.
"Another tradition is to consider ships as female, referring to them as ‘she’. Although it may sound strange referring to an inanimate object as ‘she’, this tradition relates to the idea of a female figure such as a mother or goddess guiding and protecting a ship and crew. Another idea is that in many languages, objects are referred to using feminine or masculine nouns. This is less common in English which tends to use gender-neutral nouns, however referring to ships as ‘she’ may refer to far more ancient traditions"
I don't know, I think it depends on who is naming the boat or ship. Men usually give female names, while o personally know women who cal named their car a male name. Also, in German we say "it" to cars and ships.
Nevertheless a specific boat is called a she in German too (I'm Swiss).
Load More Replies...Ship is a feminine word. (Not being sexist, it’s true. Look it up if you don’t believe me)
Unpopular as usual, but most of these are enforced, allowed, encouraged and even justified by other women. If you married a useless slob and keep doing everything for him, it's not society forcing you to do it, it's just you being dumb. If it bothers you, stop putting up with it. It's really simple. Also, anyone can say crap to you, but it's you who give importance to their opinions.. this kind of posts piss me off, because it's just women complaining about crap they willingly put up with. Grow a pair of tits and ovaries, ffs!
I understand that some of these posts piss you off fir those reasons, but please consider that you are talking like someone who is in a position of power, not all women are being born into societies where that's the norm. Maybe try to see things from different angles before you're blaming the victim. Try to empower, not put down, feels better.
Load More Replies...I personally hate the phrase "Boys will be boys" because it just gives them an excuse to treat people however they want.
I especially hate it when male teachers say this about predominantly male classes. I try to explain to them that they are giving the boys excuses that will backfire later and arent teaching them anything other than it is ok to be pains in the a**.
Load More Replies...I would add that there are many indirect sexist conditionings given by society. For instance, how were single independent women usually portraited? The evil ones, the witches, etc. That getting marriage is the ultimate milestone and the biggest success in a woman's life. And many others like that, some also being addressed to men. It is changing thought, but most of us grew up with those wrong messages.
I will be downvoted for agreeing. Motherhood and marriage are still shown on TV, in movies, as the end-all be-all. Crying men are bad, crying women are okay but only if they stop crying after they're told to.... It's changed over my lifetime, but too slowly, IMO.
Load More Replies...It is merely the results of thousand of years of mind conditioning. but let's not forget also men too don't have it easy. To give a couple of examples: they cannot cry otherwise they are pussies, they cannot have certain jobs (like being a nanny i.e.) cause it would be considered either "gay" or "inappropriate" and we could go on forever with examples for both women and men. let's stop sexism from both sides machismo and feminism altogether ! and bring some nice balance to our lives for once !
Most of these are only traditional and honestly don't know mean people that still think that way. I feel like some people are way more old fashioned than I know of and I live in the Bible Belt in a small town (pop. 900) and next biggest town is (pop. 80,000). So.... who's still that old fashioned?
#6: married 'old world italian' who thought it was odd i wanted to keep my name. finally asked him if tradition was reversed, would he ever look in the mirror and say 'i'm mike [insert my last name}? he said, 'no, i'm mike [his last name]. exactly! then, made a deal. if we made it to 20 yrs i would change it. well, we did; and i did. then 10 yrs later divorced. took back my name but his still haunts me on insurance & other official docs. #8: gave my son my name. caused all sorts of issues when he went into military service. ended up having to hyphenate my & his dad's name to satisfy the air force.
Just a friendly FYI - the numbers change as the posts get up/downvoted. What was #6 when you commented is #7 now, it could be changed again in a few more hours. You are probably better off putting these comments under the posts themselves as they will stay connected to it that way. :)
Load More Replies...This is an odd article . Empowering females is great . Equality is great. The things posted here are based on opinion and honestly it seems like another type of complaining post rather than an empowering and educating post
Ever heard the expression "making a mountain out of a molehill"? Almost all of these pithy observations have not been "social norms" for over half a century at least. Whatever personal experiences to the contrary there may be.
Unpopular as usual, but most of these are enforced, allowed, encouraged and even justified by other women. If you married a useless slob and keep doing everything for him, it's not society forcing you to do it, it's just you being dumb. If it bothers you, stop putting up with it. It's really simple. Also, anyone can say crap to you, but it's you who give importance to their opinions.. this kind of posts piss me off, because it's just women complaining about crap they willingly put up with. Grow a pair of tits and ovaries, ffs!
I understand that some of these posts piss you off fir those reasons, but please consider that you are talking like someone who is in a position of power, not all women are being born into societies where that's the norm. Maybe try to see things from different angles before you're blaming the victim. Try to empower, not put down, feels better.
Load More Replies...I personally hate the phrase "Boys will be boys" because it just gives them an excuse to treat people however they want.
I especially hate it when male teachers say this about predominantly male classes. I try to explain to them that they are giving the boys excuses that will backfire later and arent teaching them anything other than it is ok to be pains in the a**.
Load More Replies...I would add that there are many indirect sexist conditionings given by society. For instance, how were single independent women usually portraited? The evil ones, the witches, etc. That getting marriage is the ultimate milestone and the biggest success in a woman's life. And many others like that, some also being addressed to men. It is changing thought, but most of us grew up with those wrong messages.
I will be downvoted for agreeing. Motherhood and marriage are still shown on TV, in movies, as the end-all be-all. Crying men are bad, crying women are okay but only if they stop crying after they're told to.... It's changed over my lifetime, but too slowly, IMO.
Load More Replies...It is merely the results of thousand of years of mind conditioning. but let's not forget also men too don't have it easy. To give a couple of examples: they cannot cry otherwise they are pussies, they cannot have certain jobs (like being a nanny i.e.) cause it would be considered either "gay" or "inappropriate" and we could go on forever with examples for both women and men. let's stop sexism from both sides machismo and feminism altogether ! and bring some nice balance to our lives for once !
Most of these are only traditional and honestly don't know mean people that still think that way. I feel like some people are way more old fashioned than I know of and I live in the Bible Belt in a small town (pop. 900) and next biggest town is (pop. 80,000). So.... who's still that old fashioned?
#6: married 'old world italian' who thought it was odd i wanted to keep my name. finally asked him if tradition was reversed, would he ever look in the mirror and say 'i'm mike [insert my last name}? he said, 'no, i'm mike [his last name]. exactly! then, made a deal. if we made it to 20 yrs i would change it. well, we did; and i did. then 10 yrs later divorced. took back my name but his still haunts me on insurance & other official docs. #8: gave my son my name. caused all sorts of issues when he went into military service. ended up having to hyphenate my & his dad's name to satisfy the air force.
Just a friendly FYI - the numbers change as the posts get up/downvoted. What was #6 when you commented is #7 now, it could be changed again in a few more hours. You are probably better off putting these comments under the posts themselves as they will stay connected to it that way. :)
Load More Replies...This is an odd article . Empowering females is great . Equality is great. The things posted here are based on opinion and honestly it seems like another type of complaining post rather than an empowering and educating post
Ever heard the expression "making a mountain out of a molehill"? Almost all of these pithy observations have not been "social norms" for over half a century at least. Whatever personal experiences to the contrary there may be.
