We often hear how, for some people, being under the influence unlocks their hidden artistic souls. It might be true for some, and it might be an urban myth. We won’t know for sure, and each person can have different results. There is one example out there that might get us closer to understanding this phenomenon—self-portraits on drugs by Bryan Lewis Saunders.
Mostly known for his art on drugs, Bryan also expresses his artistic soul with performance art and poetry, videography, and stand-up tragedy. And it’s not your usual inspirational poems about life. He set out on his self-portrait a day journey in 1995, and since then, he hasn’t missed a single day. His most viral work of self-portraits under the influence is also part of this long-time commitment.
Bryan Lewis Saunders’ art is obviously on a more niche side; the painted self-portraits on drugs put him on the map, as no one has ever attempted something like this. For those who love that kind of art, these creative illustrations can act as a getaway drug into the world of Saunders. He is undoubtedly one of the most notable modern artists with a vast portfolio of different, thought-provoking art forms.
So dig into this list and explore the perception of the world by a brain under the influence. Share these portraits with your friends, and while you’re welcome to appreciate the art, we urge you not to attempt to recreate something similar. Stay safe and healthy!
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Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 Caps Onset)
I don’t want to try drugs, but I’ve always wanted to see the perspective of it
One of the safest things going, no-one has ever died from magic mushrooms, every adult should take these at least once in their life, studies have shown they can help with PTSD etc.
"2 caps" means nothing. How much did they weigh, what species, etc. That could be a very mild dose, or a huge one. Very unscientific.
Ativan / Haloperidol (Doseage Unknown In Hospital)
I do not get the fuss here (Bored Panda readers being offended by everything as usual .. :/) This is a psychoactive chemical substance too and if the artist had the opportunity to put in in the list as experiment, why not? The portrait has interesting informational value, he probably did not feel whole, like something is missing in his mind?
Those two can be the same sometimes. In some cases the only difference is legality.
Load More Replies...People with anxiety disorders are not psychotic; Ativan is an anxiolytic.
Load More Replies...Alcohol
It’s hard to follow that this is the most accepted drug in society when it does this to your brain compared to the others.
this looks like one of those modern art paintings worth a zillion bucks
Now he should try the experiment with graduated amounts of alcohol. Clearly this was A LOT.
Oh but no complaints about this one Monika, even though alcohol kills hundreds of thousands a year while magic mushrooms have killed precisely zero people ever.
Eventually he tried to write "How to draw under the influence of Alcohol".
Marijuana (G13)
Weirdest thing I did was apologise to a tree for bumping into it....otherwise just funny....would've been happier in portrait...
As a closed off and reserved introvert, I talk way more. I'm also extra careful and take things slow. I find that the next mornings I focus a lot better.
Load More Replies...me when i'm late for going into the test chamberrrr and breaking reality
Morphine IV (Doseage Unknown)
If this is not a hoax... if only Mr. Saunders could have stopped right there, cleaned up and seriously studied that latest creation of his, then compared it to his body of work up to that point, he might have recognized the potential riding along inside of him. But apparently thrill-seeking took charge of his brain and this pathway became lost to all of us. R.I.P. Mr. Saunders’ brain, the art world is only left to wonder what-if?
This. "R.I.P. Mr. Saunders’ brain, the art world is only left to wonder what-if?"
Load More Replies...I can’t believe someone made this with color pencils, water color, pencils, but it looks like it’s a collage. Amazing!
I don’t know what to think about the meaning, but this is definitely an amazing style
so now we can see, what Piccasso was using all the time…. but really cool painting.
What Motivates Bryan Lewis Saunders to Draw Self-Portraits Under the Influence?
After a hiking trip with his friend and a harsh experience living in a drug-infested building, Bryan had a psychotic break due to dehydration, which led him to experiment with drawing self-portraits on drugs despite never trying them before.
His experiment was just as successful as other mediums in addressing the mission of his art—tragedy. Saunders often addresses how he seeks to unearth emotions from his audience. Unlike many other famous paintings, he aims his art to make men cry publicly and make everyone feel the feelings of life many people know but choose to ignore for their own sanity.
Of course, the artist runs into those people who get “inspired” by his sometimes scary paintings, but not in the way he intended. He still tries to reach them, though, even if it’s too late for them.
LSD
1 sm Glass Of Absinth
Absinth was disappointing...esp. when I realised what it tasted like....
Everything you've ever heard about absinth is a myth. It's just a drink, no more potent than tequila.
Absinth is basically just Ouzo, but 120 proof instead of 80 proof. There's nothing really weird about it. It's just strong booze with a...Let's say....Reputation.
Well the alcohol was different as the standardisation wasn't the same and then it is really the strength of the thujone, in the wormwood, in the absinthe. I am not aware of proper absinthe outside of Europe, or not imported from Europe. But even so these days...???Most of the time there is no wormwood...and if they go out of their way to say it is there, they can still reduce the amount of thujone..... We used to be able to (1900's to 1940's)buy morphine and cocaine over the counter in the chemist, when you can do that, who cares about the absinthe you are drinking....
Load More Replies...Haha I like it. I'm surprised there is no green or cloudy 'louche' tones
While your mind seems to stay busy why destroy what's left.
20mg Valium
Abilify / Xanax / Ativan (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)
But do you remember drawing it on Xanax, is the question.
The Birth of "Under The Influence"
In March 1995, artist Bryan promised himself to create a new self-portrait every day for the rest of his life. He has kept this promise; Saunders has made nearly 12,400 of them. Of course, nothing could rival the most famous portraits, but the concept alone sets the artist apart from everyone else.
While this sounds like quite the experiment, in 2000, he set out to create an even more radical subseries within the project. The artist painted tens of self-portraits while on mind-altering drugs, so "Under The Influence" was born.
Bath Salts
I read bath salts and was like “bath salts, ok...WAIT, BATH SALTS, how do you “take” bath salts”
Opium
Makes me wonder what, if anything, other famous artists might have been on
Opium is a highly addictive narcotic drug acquired in the dried latex form the opium poppy (Papaver somniferum) seed pod. The latex is bitter in taste and contains varying amounts of alkaloids such as morphine, codeine, thebaine and papaverine. Other synthetic or semisynthetic opium derivatives include fentanyl, methadone, oxycodone and hydrocodone. https://www.drugs.com/illicit/opium.html
"The widespread smoking of opium introduced by the Dutch resulted in the Chinese Empire prohibiting its use. However, following military success by the British during the Opium War in 1856, opium cultivation and its use in China increased and became more widespread. The British colonial government established, through Hong Kong, one of the largest business centres for prepared opium flowing into China. In 1918, opium accounted for nearly 45% of the colonial government’s revenue and it continued to contribute a significant proportion of its revenue until the beginning of World War II. The ease of opium availability resulted in a high prevalence of opium addiction" https://www.who.int/substance_abuse/activities/opium_abuse_and_its_management.pdf
4mg Dilaudid
Omg so this is what melting on the couch looks like! I'm gonna go tell my brother he's been doing it wrong. XD
I was given Dilaudid after major surgery and repeated the name to myself (a lot) so that I wouldn't forget what was making me feel so not-in-pain-anymore. Also, the nursing staff went "well, DUH" when I said I felt hot -- how was I supposed to know that was a common thing with painkillers?
: This medication is used to help relieve moderate to severe pain. Hydromorphone belongs to a class of drugs known as opioid analgesics. Hydromorphone has a risk for abuse and addiction, which can lead to overdose and death. Hydromorphone may also cause severe, possibly fatal, breathing problems.
What Are the Most Famous Books by Bryan Lewis Saunders?
Artist’s written media are not what they seem. The books contain writings and illustrations that scratch your itch regarding non-mainstream art. Bryan Lewis Saunder’s bibliography includes:
- 87 Dreams of a Sociopath
- The Reasons Why I Dream with Knives
- Channel Zero
- We Don’t Need Another Doctor, We Can Run Our Own Tests
- The Confessor
Saunders released 11 books, each exploring a different topic, but all holding the one and only style of Bryan.
2 Bottles Of Cough Syrup
If you drink too much cough syrup it can get you high. If you drink too much you can also die.
Load More Replies...its interesting how this one has multiple languages, both chinese and korean (well the korean is pasted on the page)
Dextromethorphan (DXM) is an ingredient in many over-the-counter (OTC) cough and cold medicines. Taking a lot of DXM causes hallucinations and out-of-body sensations, DXM also can make users have trouble controlling their limbs and cause blurred vision, slurred speech, dizziness, and impaired judgment. Other short-term effects include: paranoia and confusion; excessive sweating; nausea and vomiting (large quantities of cough syrup almost always cause people to throw up); belly pain; irregular heartbeat and high blood pressure; restlessness; dry, itchy skin and facial redness, and large quantities can cause dangerous side effects, including loss of consciousness, seizures, brain damage, and death. https://kidshealth.org/en/parents/cough-cold-medicine-abuse.html
Nitrous Oxide
There is no safe level of drug use. Prolonged exposure to nitrous oxide may result in: memory loss, vitamin B12 depletion (long-term depletion causes brain and nerve damage), ringing or buzzing in the ears, incontinence, numbness in the hands or feet, limb spasms, potential birth defects (if consumed during pregnancy), weakened immune system, disruption to reproductive systems, depression, psychological dependence, psychosis. https://adf.org.au/drug-facts/nitrous-oxide/
1/2 Gram Cocaine
This looks like a wild dream. There's a Jet Ski and he's been doing mathematical calculations too!
It's been 40 years but the sense of clarity that came from cocaine use was astonishing. Maths? No problem. Hand-to-eye coordination? Spectacular. It's probably how William Tell was able to shoot that apple on his kid's head...
Going somewhere but can't find directions.
Load More Replies...I had a moment years ago where I thought people are in the wall.
Just have to say, it was another lifetime ago, like over 20 years.
Load More Replies...N O T H I S I S U N A C C E P T A B L E D O N ' T D O D R U G S K I D S
Bryan Lewis Saunders and the Effects of the Experiment
Within weeks of undergoing this experiment, he became lethargic and suffered mild brain damage. Saunders even became a frequent guest at the hospital. Nevertheless, he continued drawing. The artist sought "experiences that might profoundly affect his perception of self," when you see just how different each of the drawings from "Under The Influence" is, you can't help but think he succeeded.
Saunders said the brain damage resulted in "psychomotor retardation and confusion," but at least it was repairable. He's still conducting this experiment, but over greater lapses of time, and with drugs prescribed by a doctor.
DMT (During And After)
Everything that we experience, and everything that we not capable of experiencing... damn that deep
It can be synthesized into smokable crystals that give a 15-minute high that seems a lot longer. The brain releases it when we die, and some have theorized that it's responsible for near-death experiences and the "whole life flashed in front of my eyes) phenomenon.
Load More Replies...I just want to know how he made such a great sketch ON DMT. After, sure, no problem. ON? 🤯
90mg Abilify (After 3 Months Usage 3x Maximum Dose)
Good question. I don't know if you meant it in sarcasm, but it made me wonder if you can guage the usefulness and safety of a substance - by seeing through peoples' art - how it affects one's view of themselves.
Load More Replies...Such excessive dosing was not a good idea for sure, regardless if the artist actually needed the medication or not. And what the heck are those four protruding .. things? Is this a different kind of self-portrait?
Taking an antipsychotic for three months at three times the maximum dose? I think this man's brain was full of holes before he began these dangerous experiments on himself. Please do not copy!
worse than the aneurysm you had while trying to spell 'aneurysm'?
Load More Replies...What Other Types of Media Has Bryan Lewis Saunders Published?
The artist partakes in a lot of different forms of art. Videography, audio works that include tape recordings of his sleep and even dreams. Bryan has adopted popular art mediums and adapted them into his own. Some of his latest audio and video works include:
- Stream of Unconscious Vol. 7 with Joke Lanz and Dylan Nyoukis (Stand-Up Tragedy Records, 2013)
- Bryan Lewis Saunders & James Hollenbaugh (Videography, 2012)
- The Confessor (Stand-Up Tragedy Records, 2013)
- Near Death Experience (Erratum audio works, 2010)
Most of Bryan Lewis Saunder's works are praised by those familiar with his message but hated by others. That's the life of an artist; the fear of being misunderstood often comes true in their lives. His self-portraits on drugs took the concept a step further, and those paintings reached the general population.
1 Shot Of Dilaudid / 3 Shots Of Morphine (In The ER With Kidney Stones)
I saw the face of a young man passing a stone and it was the face of a man about to die.
My dad has passed two and told me it's like someone dtaging a knife inside your parts until it passes. He had his 3rd stone zapped with ultrasonic waves to break it up.
Load More Replies...My dad had kidney stones; it happens when you pass a stone through your junk. When it happened to my dad, he had to go to the hospital (like four times) to get them removed.
Chicken little , most people pass them without drugs. And YES it hurts.
Yeah 'cause if you have kidney stones, they #1 would give you an IV, #2 they START with morphine and THEN Dilaudid and if you whipped out art supplies, they would tell you that you're full of s**t like this artis!
What kind of hospital does this dude go to????!! I had a giant kidney stone and pain for 2 years before it was finally diagnosed correctly & they didn't give me s**t! Even AFTER the surgery- told me to take Tylenol for discomfort! Hmm....what kind of hospital do I go to??
Khat (Chew And Tea)
Two of you in one painting, well one of you inside your head. Well done.
10mg Ambien
3mg Klonopin
Good lord, they give you 0.5mg for panic attacks and epilepsy. I'm surprised he could stay awake long enough to draw on 3mg.
Think of Klonopin as extended-release Xanax and far less addictive. I don't understand why they even prescribe Xanax when Klonopin is a better alternative. Oddly enough, Klonopin is successfully used as a solution to a Xanax addiction.
Marijuana Resin
Dude no! Resin is condensed sap that's 10x stronger. 10mg of resin is 100 mg of THC. A good high is ussually 10mg of THC.
The Hike of Transformation: Nature, Art, and the Connecting Troubling Reality
To unwind, Saunders went hiking with his buddy Brandon Bragg, something he hadn't done before. "It was incredible," he said. "I had 5 pounds of art supplies with me! Every day, I saw tons of beautiful things in nature. I'm from the city and so every new kind of bark I saw, or toadstool, or wild animal gave me such a rich wealth of phenomena to draw and see myself in a totally different world. That experience was truly miraculous and healing.
“While Brandon and I were hiking one day, he asked me, 'Whatever happened with that documentary you were going to make with the veterans and the loonies?' And I told him how everything had happened so fast with the tragedies and how I thought the people would be really interesting to document, but in fact they were all on drugs, suffering in solitude, some too obese to physically leave their apartment, and for many, it was all they could do to get out of their recliners 3 times a day.”
“I told him how when I first moved in, a paraplegic in a wheelchair showed me an encyclopedia of pills and said he could find at least one of every kind of pill in that book in the building and that book was huge."
Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
WHY would anyone do this to themselves??? No wonder he has brain damage.
Determined to die when others try so hard to live. It's hard not to say something unkind.
Celexa (Dosage Unknown)
He must have taken a crap ton, cuz Celexa is a very mild anti-anxiety drug.
The Unraveling Journey: Art, Hallucinations, and a Radical Project
When Saunders and Bragg returned to NY, the artist unknowingly became dehydrated, hallucinating, and had a psychotic break. He ditched his friend at a monastery because he thought he was trying to poison him.
"I took the Greyhound straight back to Tennessee, where I had an epiphany. I thought, not only am I going to draw myself every day, but I'm also going to do a different drug every day. After all, there was one of everything in the building... And that was when I officially started the project."
A combination of dark sadness and easy access led Saunders to satisfy his drive to experience as many different things as possible.
15mg Buspar (Snorted)
1 "Bump" Of Crystalmeth
Pcp
Maybe he's just rage-drawing on everything he sees.
Load More Replies...Don't DO this. I've heard it can make people murderously angry while they're on it.
From Viral Controversy to Empathetic Connection: the Impact of Saunders' Experiment
He said the images first went viral in January 2011, and it was "excruciatingly distressing and morbidly terrifying." Saunders got quite a few hate mails. "They either wanted me to commit suicide myself, or they themselves wanted the honor of putting me down like an animal. Sleazy companies came out of the woodwork too," he recalled. "This time around it's been so much nicer and friendlier."
But the popularity of this one experiment is enormous. "It gives people an opportunity to discover some of the other things I do or have done as well. Things that I feel are a lot more important, both socially and artistically. And it's also opened the door to communicate with some other incredible people who feel that they are alone in the world, and in one way or another are suffering and having trouble. I'm older and like to think I can be of some help in that department."
Heroin (Snorted)
Uh, yeah ... less efficient than IV'ing, but kinda common.
Load More Replies...A relative of mine was murdered when he was 21 by a drug addict who had combined some kind of synthetic drug with alcohol. He wanted to kill someone because he thought it would be cool to see what it was like - and my cousin's son happened to cross paths with him.
bath salts man or synthectic cathonate. even the slightest od can send you into a murderous rage. my friend was on it and he punched in his glass windows until he cut his hands up so bad he bled to death. absolutely despise this drug sorry it had to affect you too
Load More Replies...He's in there, just he's got an elephant on his head . . . as you might!
you can snort heroin? I thought you got it from putting needles in his veins...
Huffing Lighter Fluid
Huffing Gas (During And After)
He is obviously a very talented artist. I like the pictures. Can someone explain whether he created the images to illustrate how he was feeling during/after each experiment, or has he created them inadvertently while under the influence, but thinking he's making a normal illustration?
10mg Adderall
Adderall....I will clean your house, and your house, and YOUR house. Everybody's house.
Was wondering when this would show. I was prescribed Adderal at young age and lemme tell ya I was super energetic all the time but then like every hour IMMEDIATELY EXHAUSTED. That s**t was a mess, glad I take different medication now...
Computer Duster (2 Squirts)
Oh lord. I can hear the wawawawa in my ears now. (I was a stupid 17 year old).
Same thing with a can of whip cream. It's called whip-ets. If you hold the nossel very gently it will open enough just for the gasses to escape. It's stupid.
300mg Lithium
Also a very sucessful treatment for bipolar disorder andmanic depression.
Load More Replies...Marijuana (Kine Bud)
100mg Tramadol
I really feel like this doesn't represent tramadol at all. For me, it makes me motivated, enthusiastic and the need to be doing something productive (organising my things, changing room layout, practical learning, baking). That is until the the haunting headaches arrive, depending on which dose I took. I'd recommend codeine over tramadol :)
If you are meant to take it, it may be different. It is a endophin imitator yeah??? Opioid... The difference between someone prescribed a med and someone who doesn't need to take it, but does in quantity, I imagine, can be very different.....
Load More Replies...4 Butalbitals (Doseage Unknown)
7.5mg Hydrocodone / 7.5mg Oxycodone / 3mg Xanax
Yeah I know several people who OD'd on methadone and Xanax mixed.
Load More Replies...He is a serious drug abuser. Two oxys and a Xanax are barely going to touch him. If he ever needs true pain control like in hospice, then he may have real problems getting it.
10mg Lortab
Novocaine
7.5mg Percocet
250mg Soma
Valium I.V. (Doseage Unknown In Hospital)
25i-Nbome
Also, DON'T do Nbome, versions of it has killed people on pretty low doses
Load More Replies...Salvia Divinorum (Before And After)
By now this person is dead inside. They are going to live to, like, 60
SD doesn always do anything. It's said that a slight majority doesn't feel anything. I got out of it - fast changing size of pupils, along with everything getting darker and brighter, randomly - and some blurry stuff at the edge of the field of vision. Found it to be boring (this was in the year before it was forbidden in germany ... 2004 or so?).
Hash
Butane Honey Oil
4mg Risperdol
Oxycodone (Dosage Unknown)
Given his usage, I can't image HOW MUCH he'd have to take to fell this blissed out.
Depends on how used to opioides he is. Not at all - 20 mg will do. If severely (daily user) - three digits...
Load More Replies...1 Glass Of Pruno
"Prison wine" alcohol made from bread and juices... and it may or may not contaim methanol as well as ethanol.
Load More Replies...Ritalin (Doseage Unknown-Snorted)
Ritalin suxx. Took it as a kid. Turned me into an emotionless robot boi.
Valium IV, (Albuterol, Saline & Oxygen Mixture)
You know,, I've gotten breathing treatments for my asthma. Never with Valium as that kind of slows one's breathing.
2mg Xanax
Absolute Shatter
20mg Cyclobenzaprine
Hydrocodone And Oxycodone (Dosages Unknown)
100mg Trazadone
250mg Cephalexin (Painted W/ Watercolor Pencil, Water And Cephalexin)
60mg Geodon
50mg Zoloft (After 2 Weeks)
Interesting. But it can take 2-4 weeks to actually see the effect of Zoloft. Especially at a low dosage. This might still be placebo effect. Still interesting, though. Zoloft has allowed me personally to live a normal life. Many of these medicines, while dangerous if misused, can be life saving and greatly improve quality of life for people suffering from physical and mental ailments. I do realize this is supposed to reflect drugs that are habitually abused, however. It is very interesting to see the altered perspective and change in cognitive and motor function under the influence, though doing this is highly dangerous and should not be attempted by anyone.
HAHAHAHA! As someone who currently takes Zoloft, no. You aren't getting high off of 50 mgs. That's part of my prescription! I don't even know anything about drug use stuff! I've just taken zoloft for YEARS!
10mg Zyprexa (After 2 Weeks In Hospital)
Kief
100mg Seroquel
I'm supposed to take seroquel for anxiety. HALF a 7.5mg tablet wipes me out for two days. Have tried to use it to see if there was any change, but it turns out my tolerance is s**t.
Load More Replies...2mg Nicotine Gum (After Quitting Smoking For 2 Months)
Nitrous Oxide / Valium I.V. (Doseage Unknown At Dentist)
Sodium Thiopental IV
Pretty messed up to be so gd judgmental! A lot of this was drawn during hospital visits. Your comment is vile and ugly. You have NO idea who this guy really is, or what he's been through, but I think it is pretty amazing what he's done here. Plus, he's been brave enough to show us a side of him, totally exposed like this. I'd like to see you undertake such an artistic endeavor!
Load More Replies...I think he had some to begin with for even trying that.
Load More Replies...I think it would show the effects better if he had tempted to try to make the same style of portret every time. Now its hard to tell what the effect of the drug is cause they are all made in different style.
I understand what you’re saying however maybe even with that intention, that very framework morphed into a different prerogative upon each various effect of different drugs. In this state of mind perhaps we could make it a point to aim for consistency but get entirely sidetracked when our mind is altered off ‘normal’ course.
Load More Replies...Interesting notion... wonder how he would render himself sober?
Load More Replies...I think he had some to begin with for even trying that.
Load More Replies...I think it would show the effects better if he had tempted to try to make the same style of portret every time. Now its hard to tell what the effect of the drug is cause they are all made in different style.
I understand what you’re saying however maybe even with that intention, that very framework morphed into a different prerogative upon each various effect of different drugs. In this state of mind perhaps we could make it a point to aim for consistency but get entirely sidetracked when our mind is altered off ‘normal’ course.
Load More Replies...Interesting notion... wonder how he would render himself sober?
Load More Replies...

