
Artist Takes A Different Drug Every Day And Draws A Self-Portrait Under The Influence, Suffers Brain Damage (30 Pics)
In March 1995, artist Bryan Lewis Saunders made a promise to himself to create a new self-portrait every day for the rest of his life. To this day, he has kept this promise; Saunders has made nearly 12,400 of them.
While this alone sounds like quite the experiment, in 2000, he set out to create an even more radical subseries within the project. The artist painted tens of self-portraits whilst being on mind-altering drugs, and so, "Under The Influence" was born.
Within weeks, he became lethargic and suffered mild brain damage. Saunders even became a frequent guest at the hospital. Nevertheless, he continued drawing. The artist sought "experiences that might profoundly affect his perception of self" and when you see just how different each of the drawings from "Under The Influence" is, you can't help but think he succeeded. Saunders said the brain damage resulted in "psychomotor retardation and confusion," but at least it was repairable. He's still conducting this experiment, but over greater lapses of time; though now he only takes drugs that are prescribed to him by a doctor.
Now have a look at the cool art, but don't try this at home.
More info: bryanlewissaunders.org | Instagram
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Psilocybin Mushrooms (2 Caps Onset)
"The drug series itself began in 2000 when I moved into an 11-story building with the idea that I would make a documentary on all of the interesting characters there," Saunders told Bored Panda in a statement. "The building is well-known in Johnson City for its creeps and loonies."
After moving in, however, a really difficult period in the artist's life postponed the series. One of his good friends died in a fire, another tried to shoot himself in the head but ended up with brain damage and permanent confusion, and while he was still in the hospital, Saunders's lung collapsed.
Ativan / Haloperidol (Doseage Unknown In Hospital)
I do not get the fuss here (Bored Panda readers being offended by everything as usual .. :/) This is a psychoactive chemical substance too and if the artist had the opportunity to put in in the list as experiment, why not? The portrait has interesting informational value, he probably did not feel whole, like something is missing in his mind?
To unwind, he went hiking with his buddy Brandon Bragg, something Saunders hadn't done before. "It was incredible," he said. "I had 5 pounds of art supplies with me! Every day, I saw tons of beautiful things in nature. I'm from the city and so every new kind of bark I saw, or toadstool, or wild animal gave me such a rich wealth of phenomena to draw and see myself in a totally different world. That experience was truly miraculous and healing. (To this day, that book is my favorite of all of the self-portrait books.) ... While Brandon and I were hiking one day, he asked me, 'Whatever happened with that documentary you were going to make with the veterans and the loonies?' And I told him how everything had happened so fast with the tragedies and how I thought the people would be really interesting to document, but in fact they were all on drugs, suffering in solitude, some too obese to physically leave their apartment, and for many, it was all they could do to get out of their recliners 3 times a day. I told him how when I first moved in, a paraplegic in a wheelchair showed me an encyclopedia of pills and said he could find at least one of every kind of pill in that book in the building and that book was huge."
Alcohol
When Saunders and Bragg got back to NY, the artist unknowingly became very dehydrated, started hallucinating, and had a psychotic break during which he ditched his friend at a monastery because he thought he was trying to poison him. "I took the Greyhound straight back to Tennessee, where I had an epiphany. I thought, not only am I going to draw myself every day, but I'm also going to do a different drug every day. After all, there was one of everything in the building... And that was when I officially started the project." It was a combination of dark sadness and easy access that led Saunders to satisfy his drive to experience as many different things as possible.
Marijuana (G13)
He said the images first went viral in January 2011, and it was "excruciatingly distressing and morbidly terrifying." Saunders got quite a few hate mails. "They either wanted me to commit suicide myself, or they themselves wanted the honor of putting me down like an animal. Sleazy companies came out of the woodwork too," he recalled. "This time around it's been so much nicer and friendlier."
But the popularity of this one experiment is pretty big. "It gives people an opportunity to discover some of the other things I do or have done as well. Things that I feel are a lot more important, both socially and artistically. And it's also opened the door to communicate with some other incredible people who feel that they are alone in the world, and in one way or another are suffering and having trouble. I'm older and like to think I can be of some help in that department."
For more on Saunders and his work, check out his book.
Morphine IV (Doseage Unknown)
LSD
https://www.drugpolicy.org/sites/default/files/LSD_Facts_Sheet.pdf
It's a drug (obviously) which, if I'm not mistaken, is known for its psychedelic effect (causes the user to see the world in wild colors and shapes, like in the portrait).
Load More Replies...Illicit drug use is – directly and indirectly – responsible for over 750,000 deaths per year. https://ourworldindata.org/illicit-drug-use
1 sm Glass Of Absinth
Absinth was disappointing...esp. when I realised what it tasted like....
20mg Valium
Abilify / Xanax / Ativan (Dosage Unknown In Hospital)
Bath Salts
Opium
Makes me wonder what, if anything, other famous artists might have been on
4mg Dilaudid
Omg so this is what melting on the couch looks like! I'm gonna go tell my brother he's been doing it wrong. XD
2 Bottles Of Cough Syrup
Nitrous Oxide
1/2 Gram Cocaine
This looks like a wild dream. There's a Jet Ski and he's been doing mathematical calculations too!
DMT (During And After)
Everything that we experience, and everything that we not capable of experiencing... damn that deep
90mg Abilify (After 3 Months Usage 3x Maximum Dose)
1 Shot Of Dilaudid / 3 Shots Of Morphine (In The ER With Kidney Stones)
Khat (Chew And Tea)
10mg Ambien
3mg Klonopin
Marijuana Resin
Carbon Monoxide Inhalation
Carbon monoxyde inhalation? WTF, this is so dangerous
Celexa (Dosage Unknown)
15mg Buspar (Snorted)
1 "Bump" Of Crystalmeth
Heroin (Snorted)
Huffing Lighter Fluid
Huffing Gas (During And After)
Note: this post originally had 66 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Just remember kids he ended up with brain damage...
I feel like this was just a reason to take a bunch of drugs
Well...then again...science?
And produce mediocre art
I think it would show the effects better if he had tempted to try to make the same style of portret every time. Now its hard to tell what the effect of the drug is cause they are all made in different style.
my thoughts! hard to compare..
I understand what you’re saying however maybe even with that intention, that very framework morphed into a different prerogative upon each various effect of different drugs. In this state of mind perhaps we could make it a point to aim for consistency but get entirely sidetracked when our mind is altered off ‘normal’ course.
Carter Harrington follower
Wtf is this guy dead
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Grace Galan what
The only one missing is the one where he's on nothing.
Interesting notion... wonder how he would render himself sober?
This dude is gonna die oh my gosh-
I know! Is the dude even ok RN?
It says he has brain damage, which is insanely concerning. Also brings up quite a few questions, like did he know what these drugs were doing to him? If he did, why did he continue to do it? Why did he even do this project in the first place?
That poor brain
it"s disturbing, and should not be published like this, accessible to everyone, including minors
What is accessible? A list of names/terminology? Wikipedia already has that... Not sure what that changes to a minor.
I saw this mostly as look at how bad these drugs are. I see many of these are medical (in hospital), but it is pretty irresponsible to play with all these drugs. His art is interesting, and I hope he is ok.
Love
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J. Normal love
Teens and minors aren't stupid, though? I mean, some of them are, but same goes for adults.
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boredpanDaman love
And this is why you don't do drugs, kids.
Absolute troll for exposure.
Why would someone willingly put themselves into this
What's next? Cooking the same recipe under different drugs?
Nah, it has been done : "recettes pompettes" Canada and France. Cooking with a drunk celebrity, this was fake like this story.
This does not seem like a good idea especially considering that he was in the hospital during most of these...
THere should be also one made while he was sober since his style seems to be a little bit surrealistic anyway. Also, Witkacy did this before it was cool :P
This is not cool. Never was.
I’ve never understood the appeal of drugs
A lot of unknown dosage around here ... just sayin', not judgin', but ... man, be careful, don't rely on luck all that much ... I mean ... CO? Man... Don't kill yourself!
most, well pretty much all, dealers don't know how many milligrams of that active ingredient are in the drug they're selling. Hell they don't even know if it contains what they think it does at all.
Alan Green ?
(1) I'm glad he survived, (2) I'm not sure *how* he survived, (3) how many overdoses was this?
I aim to only take the drugs that I actually need and no more... I did overdo it with some alcohol a few weeks into the Lockdown here in the UK in April, but normally, I only drink a small amount and infrequently. I have tried weed and hash but it's permitted in my homeland (The Netherlands) and been prescribed various drugs throughout my life which I have not abused. Dangerous game to play for art's sake...
I have no idea what most of these are. I'm so boring!
Talk about a don't do drugs lesson
Cool art, but the fact of drugs is a big no no from me. Please don’t do this ever again. ☠️
The thing is... he knows what drugs he's about to take. He clearly has experience taking them (a 4mg does of dilauduid is HUGE!!!), so he comes to the art with a preconceived idea. Valium = sleepy. LSD = psychadelic. So... I'm a little MEH about this one.
I think bullshit. A one time dose of most of these isn't going to change your perception that fast , that radically. Over time maybe when your brain gets to the Swiss cheese stage but not instantaneously.
I thought so too...some of these are just anti-depressants... how is this radically changing his art style? And the carbon monoxide one as well as a few others, I don't think you'd be drawing at all... It feels like a way for a mediocre artist to get attention.
This is incredibly fascinating to me. It kinda looks into how the mind works when on these substances, and this project could even be used as actual research into what changes in one's psyche during this stuff.
I should also add I don't condone this particular stuff? This guy was incredibly irresponsible from what I can tell. I'll only praise responsible research
He made cool art... but was it worth it? Did you only start taking drugs for the art? We’re you always a druggie? Why are you encouraging drugs? Was it worth it? WHY?????
mate jean M.B. was also a drug addict and one of his paintings sold for 110 million, so maybe it is worth it? if you dont die first like he did💀
Ok. Never ever any kind of drug for me. They are all horrible.
this is a really interesting article on the effects drugs have on your perception and creative ability and coordination
He must live near the Mexican border. That or he's Walter White.
Well, yes, very much of the violence of the US drug trade is exported to Mexico. If you don't buy/use the drugs, you do not feed the narcotraficantes.
This would make a fascinating scientific study, if he had documented the time between paintings and drug taking it might have helped to document the affects of drugs. I kind of hope he did especially if he died. I wonder how much time he left between each drug... The concern for me is that he says the hospital doesn't know what dosage he was administered for some of the drugs.. surely a hospital would record that?
Now I know why I don't really like abstract art - I was never high enough for it.
i've done some wonderful abstract art. i have never taken drugs or consumed alcohol, I'm 13. The key to abstract art is to just let it create itself. if you try/think to hard, it won't turn out right. i've found music helps too.
i dont feel bad for him. he made his choices
Really liked some of these
Ahhh, where to begin? I believe he did do a lot of the drugs he claims in this piece, but I do NOT believe for a second that those drugs influenced the drawings that dramatically. Having partaken in some of the "meds" listed, I feel it's a reach. That said, he is a talented artist though!
what
This guy is not exactly the role model, but I must admit that I have found this immensely interesting. The pictures provide limited information because it is not clear how much of the painting final form is the actual drug effect and what is current mood / artistic idea / mentioned brain damage (which was inevitable when you look at the used chemicals and dosage..) Still there is certain informational value in this. Similar although much shorter and more safe experiment was done with other artist. They gave him LSD and he kept painting portraits during whole trip. It was medically controlled and safe tho, unlike the guy in the article.
I am severely disappointed at the exclusion of krokodil and jenkem.
Interesting. This might help me understand the filters people might be seeing the world through. I've taken a some antianxiety meds, and those renderings seem spot on. This will be a helpful reference for all the ones I never plan to take.
4th december 1986 is 12400 days from today 14th nov 2020 but they said march 1995 not mentioning the day number so its 9391 days from 1st march 1995 to 14th nov 2020. oh wait i didnt read it all from 2000 he started making 10s of portraits per day so the number went up huh?
It’s probably best not to encourage this unfortunate person
I agree - I doubt anyone who abused drugs on a daily basis would be able to stick to a rigid regime of artistic practice.
Most of these seem to be what he thinks it would be like. I am not sure I could do anything useful after a decent dose of psylocybin for instance
or carbon monoxide...
. . . And then he died.
Is he dead.
These are really good drawings, but I still don’t think he should’ve sacrificed his health for this. Don’t do drugs kids.
I know it’s “artistic” but this is so stupid. “I’m just going to do every drug I can think of FoR ArT” 🤦🏻♀️
Polish artist Witkacy was doing it almost 100 years ago. He was genius anyway :) www.culture.pl/en/article/witkacy-the-scandalising-portrait-artist www.twistedspoon.com/narcotics.html www.polandsite.proboards.com/thread/1974/witkacy-drug-inspired-artist
Of course he has brain damage now
I wonder if he’s being supervised by a doctor or something, or if he’s just doing this on his own.
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drugs promotion should be banned. it's like saying you can head to something taking drugs. not cool
Just because it's "for the art" doesn't make it any less stupid. This guy is an idiot. Not worth brain damage.
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This is despicable. Bored Panda should not be promoting the abuse of illicit substances.
An overall very dangerous art experiment, one that I would never do, but it's really fascinating to see the effects of psychoactive drugs on the brain and how it affects both motor control of materials and the artist's vision of self during. Interestingly enough, it really reminds me of some pieces I've seen from severely mentally ill artists, especially the ones under the influence of mushrooms, PCP, and cocaine.
Proof positive that talent and intelligence are one and the same thing.
Look at me,i am an artist and i am sooo special...So special that i will make a performance,i will take drugs every day.Wow,i am so different and special becuase i am an artist and i take drugs and i draw myself...
A relative of mine was murdered when he was 21 by a drug addict who had combined some kind of synthetic drug with alcohol. He wanted to kill someone because he thought it would be cool to see what it was like - and my cousin's son happened to cross paths with him. I find this whole post offensive, and I am sure that everyone who has lost a relative or a friend to drug abuse or drug related violence agrees, as does everyone who is unfortunate enough to have a drug addict in the family. Shame on you, Bored Panda, for this one.
While I really do feel sympathy you shouldn't be offended by articles on drugs. Maybe it's down to you to stay away from them if they remind you of what happened. People are dying from Covid but it doesn't stop some of the Covid meme pages being amusing. Alcohol fuels lots of domestic violence, and death by drink driving, but articles about things people do when drunk are still amusing. There are people out there who have suffered horrific injuries from dog attacks. You wouldn't want BP to stop publishing articles about doggos. Recognize this article really has nothing to do with what happened to your relative. It's just reminding you of what happened and bringing back the feelings you had when it happened but that has nothing to do with the guy in this article or the substances he is taking. The villain is the guy who took your relative. And I hope I haven't offended you. I'm really not trying to.
This guy is clearly an idiot and recidivist drug abuser, whose greatest impact on the world seems to be an enormous burden to the public health system.
This is brilliant.
It's people like this who take medication irresponsibly that make it harder for chronic patients to get the medication they depend on for a basic quality of life. This guy is an a**hole for doing that.
Thanks for promoting this utter stupidity.
god gives you one life and body what you do with it is up to you :)
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Wow, BoredPanda...I don't know what to say (this is almost as creepy as the article you posted about that woman who drew with her menstrual blood). "Glorifying" drug use in the name of "art"-- I just don't get it. This is just disturbing and I'm not really seeing how this is innovative creative. Perhaps I'm just square and need to open my mind. "He suffered mild brain damage and was a frequent guest at hospitals"-- hmm, what did he think would happen?
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First class, grade A idiot.
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For ethical reasons, no art gallery would display this reckless body of work. Nor should Bored Panda.
many many modern artist use drugs to create more extreme art
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Interesting story. Wrong platform. This should not be posted as entertainment. There are too many kids on this site.
I mean, as a kid myself, I think that we already know plenty about drugs and the consequences. I can't speak for everyone of course, but I didn't see this art and think to myself, "okay this looks fun imma do drugs". Just my opinion, of course. :)
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All I read was "Artist takes a different drug every day" and "66 pictures". Sorry BP, but this content doesn't belong here. Some may call this man an artist, I just call people like him idiots.
Just remember kids he ended up with brain damage...
I feel like this was just a reason to take a bunch of drugs
Well...then again...science?
And produce mediocre art
I think it would show the effects better if he had tempted to try to make the same style of portret every time. Now its hard to tell what the effect of the drug is cause they are all made in different style.
my thoughts! hard to compare..
I understand what you’re saying however maybe even with that intention, that very framework morphed into a different prerogative upon each various effect of different drugs. In this state of mind perhaps we could make it a point to aim for consistency but get entirely sidetracked when our mind is altered off ‘normal’ course.
Carter Harrington follower
Wtf is this guy dead
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Grace Galan what
The only one missing is the one where he's on nothing.
Interesting notion... wonder how he would render himself sober?
This dude is gonna die oh my gosh-
I know! Is the dude even ok RN?
It says he has brain damage, which is insanely concerning. Also brings up quite a few questions, like did he know what these drugs were doing to him? If he did, why did he continue to do it? Why did he even do this project in the first place?
That poor brain
it"s disturbing, and should not be published like this, accessible to everyone, including minors
What is accessible? A list of names/terminology? Wikipedia already has that... Not sure what that changes to a minor.
I saw this mostly as look at how bad these drugs are. I see many of these are medical (in hospital), but it is pretty irresponsible to play with all these drugs. His art is interesting, and I hope he is ok.
Love
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J. Normal love
Teens and minors aren't stupid, though? I mean, some of them are, but same goes for adults.
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boredpanDaman love
And this is why you don't do drugs, kids.
Absolute troll for exposure.
Why would someone willingly put themselves into this
What's next? Cooking the same recipe under different drugs?
Nah, it has been done : "recettes pompettes" Canada and France. Cooking with a drunk celebrity, this was fake like this story.
This does not seem like a good idea especially considering that he was in the hospital during most of these...
THere should be also one made while he was sober since his style seems to be a little bit surrealistic anyway. Also, Witkacy did this before it was cool :P
This is not cool. Never was.
I’ve never understood the appeal of drugs
A lot of unknown dosage around here ... just sayin', not judgin', but ... man, be careful, don't rely on luck all that much ... I mean ... CO? Man... Don't kill yourself!
most, well pretty much all, dealers don't know how many milligrams of that active ingredient are in the drug they're selling. Hell they don't even know if it contains what they think it does at all.
Alan Green ?
(1) I'm glad he survived, (2) I'm not sure *how* he survived, (3) how many overdoses was this?
I aim to only take the drugs that I actually need and no more... I did overdo it with some alcohol a few weeks into the Lockdown here in the UK in April, but normally, I only drink a small amount and infrequently. I have tried weed and hash but it's permitted in my homeland (The Netherlands) and been prescribed various drugs throughout my life which I have not abused. Dangerous game to play for art's sake...
I have no idea what most of these are. I'm so boring!
Talk about a don't do drugs lesson
Cool art, but the fact of drugs is a big no no from me. Please don’t do this ever again. ☠️
The thing is... he knows what drugs he's about to take. He clearly has experience taking them (a 4mg does of dilauduid is HUGE!!!), so he comes to the art with a preconceived idea. Valium = sleepy. LSD = psychadelic. So... I'm a little MEH about this one.
I think bullshit. A one time dose of most of these isn't going to change your perception that fast , that radically. Over time maybe when your brain gets to the Swiss cheese stage but not instantaneously.
I thought so too...some of these are just anti-depressants... how is this radically changing his art style? And the carbon monoxide one as well as a few others, I don't think you'd be drawing at all... It feels like a way for a mediocre artist to get attention.
This is incredibly fascinating to me. It kinda looks into how the mind works when on these substances, and this project could even be used as actual research into what changes in one's psyche during this stuff.
I should also add I don't condone this particular stuff? This guy was incredibly irresponsible from what I can tell. I'll only praise responsible research
He made cool art... but was it worth it? Did you only start taking drugs for the art? We’re you always a druggie? Why are you encouraging drugs? Was it worth it? WHY?????
mate jean M.B. was also a drug addict and one of his paintings sold for 110 million, so maybe it is worth it? if you dont die first like he did💀
Ok. Never ever any kind of drug for me. They are all horrible.
this is a really interesting article on the effects drugs have on your perception and creative ability and coordination
He must live near the Mexican border. That or he's Walter White.
Well, yes, very much of the violence of the US drug trade is exported to Mexico. If you don't buy/use the drugs, you do not feed the narcotraficantes.
This would make a fascinating scientific study, if he had documented the time between paintings and drug taking it might have helped to document the affects of drugs. I kind of hope he did especially if he died. I wonder how much time he left between each drug... The concern for me is that he says the hospital doesn't know what dosage he was administered for some of the drugs.. surely a hospital would record that?
Now I know why I don't really like abstract art - I was never high enough for it.
i've done some wonderful abstract art. i have never taken drugs or consumed alcohol, I'm 13. The key to abstract art is to just let it create itself. if you try/think to hard, it won't turn out right. i've found music helps too.
i dont feel bad for him. he made his choices
Really liked some of these
Ahhh, where to begin? I believe he did do a lot of the drugs he claims in this piece, but I do NOT believe for a second that those drugs influenced the drawings that dramatically. Having partaken in some of the "meds" listed, I feel it's a reach. That said, he is a talented artist though!
what