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Adults Are Sharing Life Truths They Weren’t Prepared For And Here Are 30 Of Them
Interview With Expert
Roughly seven in ten Americans think young adults today have a harder time than their parents did when it comes to things like saving for the future (72%), paying for college (71%), and buying a home (70%), according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.
To get a better understanding of the possible struggles, Reddit user Raeraegoawayy asked everyone on the platform to share the "sad realities" of being a grown-up that they believe people entering adulthood should be aware of.
From comments about the daily grind to confessions about their relationships, continue scrolling to check out the replies, and don't miss the conversation we had with mental health thought leader and behavioral economics expert, Joyce Marter — you'll find it in between the entries.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You can do everything right and it can still go wrong.
RELATED:
#2
The stupid s**t you do to your body adds up. Headphones at max volume? Enjoy your tinnitus. Being a goofball and head banging as hard as you can to Metallica in the 90s? Wake-up with neck pain. Showing off how much you can lift or carry and not lifting with your knees? Have fun with the back spasms after you move too quickly the wrong way.
Take it easy on your body.
Alexia 1 year ago
Being overweight just because you enjoy sweets, bacon and French fries too much? Your knees and heart will have a say later.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
I swim every day. There is a 300+ pound old guy who comes to the pool and just gets in and holds onto the edge. He does no exercise at all. I was told by the pool guards he just gets in because the floating makes him feel lighter. So sad really.
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MushroomHead22 1 year ago
Tinnitus: yeah got that. its annoying, i need a fan to sleep at night and can't remain anywhere without noise. Headbanging to a song: um ok, maybe neck pain the next day, but not down the line. Lifting with your back and not your legs: regardless of age this is stupid, but generally you feel the pain NOW and not later.
To learn how to cultivate resilience in the face of modern challenges, we spoke with Joyce Marter, a licensed psychotherapist, successful entrepreneur, author, and avid advocate of mental health. With over two decades of experience helping individuals, government agencies, and Fortune 500 companies, Marter shared her insights on resilience-building techniques:
"Practice mindfulness strategies such as breath work, meditation, yoga, or unplugging from technology and connecting with nature," she told Bored Panda. "Mindfulness helps us detach from our egos (our minds) and connect with our essence (our spirit, soul, or authentic self), which helps us to drop the defensiveness and cultivate acceptance and resilience—the ability to move through challenges, bounce back and persevere."
"Healthy detachment is a mindfulness practice where we cultivate healthy separation from our emotions, the negative emotions of others, expectation and outcome so that we can respond consciously instead of reacting emotionally. Having a growth mindset fosters resilience because we view challenges as opportunities for growth and development."
#3
Being an adult is living with regrets.
It's not only ok to look back and wish you did things different, it's proof of growth.
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
I disagree. It's much more healthy to look back and recognize mistakes so you don't make them again, recognize where you went right so you DO it again, and acknowledging that all of that led you to where you are now. Time is linear, we can't change the past. But if we're unhappy with the "now," it's never too late to make changes.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Don't live with regrets. Learn from those mistakes and keep moving forward.
Kathryn Walker 1 year ago
We only regret in hindsight, after we have learned from our mistakes. But if we went back in time, as who we were then, we would probably make the exact same choices. We can only be who we are in the moment. Maybe we lacked the information we needed to make a better choice, or we simply were not wise enough yet to understand the consequences. Not your fault. The best that you can do is all that you can ever hope to do. You. Not every single other person on the planet who would have done better, but only you. Look at what you have now, who you are now. This is the result of all those regrets.
Papa 1 year ago
I have many regrets. Most of them are about things I've done that hurt people, even though that was never my intention.
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Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
If you've done your best ,yet still failed - no regrets.Better to have tried and failed than not to have tried at all. We all learn from our mistakes.
#4
The advice of "Follow your passion" in careers only goes so far. If your passion happens to align with a lucrative career track, then you're golden. But if it requires a TON of work to get your passions to make money, then keep them as a hobby. Get a job that you can tolerate to pay the bills, and do what you love for free because you love doing it. I wouldn't say that data entry is my passion, but it gives me plenty of free time to rescue animals, garden and travel.
Rali Meyer 1 year ago
Do NOT follow your passion in earning money. You lose perspective. You can never decide when to quit
The Shark 1 year ago
I made the dumb decision to "follow my dream" and pursue animal science as a degree, right before the recession. I knew it would never be super lucrative, but was clearly too naive to realize that the skills I have were more relevant 100 years ago than they are today, and my degree is utterly worthless.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Or find a job somewhat related to your interests and hobbies. At least you will then enjoy part of that job. But if it goes bad, it will not ruin your enjoyment of that activity. For example, I am a jazz keyboardist who always like to use tools and work on things. I ended up working on electronic keyboards, organs and synthesizers for 36 years. I loved it! But one takes the bad with the good. Running a business was the dull part.
UrAllMorons 1 year ago
When your passion becomes a requirement because it's your job, you lose it as your passion
#5
In my experience, the older you get the less people care. Until finally nobody cares. If you don't put in the effort to reach out to people, nobody else will.
This panda votes 1 year ago
Sounds sad, but I find this oddly freeing. No one cares, so I can do what I want!
Chich 1 year ago
It is not. I have friends who are into their 70s & 80s. Health issues limit their mobility. Family and friends are away. People may care but few look in or call. Big difference betwixt alone and lonely.
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ILoveMySon 1 year ago
"A man should keep his friendships in constant repair". - Samuel Johnson
trollingergirl 1 year ago
This is so true. And foremeost: the doctors won't care. Had a backache at age 40 (at least in Germany): here is a prescription for physiotherapy, if it does not get better, maybe a health cure, duration about 3 weeks, will help. Backache at 60: too bad.
Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago (edited)
Not true where I come from.By and large, most South East Asians respect and take care of our elderly, especially if they can't take care of themselves. Admittedly more of us are sending their infirm old folks to elderly care homes, but there is still a stigma in the community against people who "abandon" their elderly parents after all they have done and sacrificed to take care of us.
LizzieBoredom 1 year ago
I've noticed old people have a tendency to talk about their ailments, the past, or who died. I'm 67 and I don't want to hang out with them.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
When my parents were that age they were looking out for my grandmothers. Their whole conversation was who's dead, who's going to die soon, who's getting this or that joint replaced, how many tablets are they on. I am now that age, looking out for my parents, and if I get away, I really don't want to discuss death and deterioration. Not even my own.
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 1 year ago
so i have to care that they don't care? i call them from time to time, they make no effort to call back. i stop caring. so i stop calling. im not the one who didn't care.
Marter, author of The Financial Mindset Fix: A Mental Fitness Program for an Abundant Life, suggested these everyday tips and habits to keep your mental well-being in check:
1) Establish a Morning Wellness Routine. "Instead of reaching for your phone and checking your social media, emails, or the news, establish a wellness routine each morning," the psychotherapist advised. "Take at least 10-15 minutes to stretch, meditate, do a short yoga practice, journal, pray or set your intentions for the day. This will help your mind and body ease into the day and set you up for success."
2) Practice Good Self-Care. "Be your own good parent and take care of yourself as you would somebody whom you love very much," Marter said. "Ensure proper nutrition, hydration, rest, exercise, and leisure activities. Sleep, diet, and exercise are key in promoting mental health. Ask your doctor to check your vitamin D levels and thyroid functioning, as these often affect our mental wellbeing."
3) Replace Your Inner Saboteur with Positive Affirmations. The psychotherapist said we can practice cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) by remaining aware of our self-talk, especially when our Inner Saboteur takes over and puts us down, triggering negativity. "Replace this self-sabotage with self-forgiveness, self-compassion, and self-affirmation."
#6
That in the end, you need to be your own best friend and cheer squad. Only you can lift yourself up out of life’s inevitable potholes.
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
ok that is terrible advice. its not "in the end" but to remember to... people put others first, but neglect themselves. care about yourself, give yourself praise, but never be your own best friend.
#7
That once you live on your own, It cost money every second of your life. Even if you stay in and hide in your bed, The bills are rolling like the counter on a gas station pump.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Suggestion?...if you can let off the trigger on the nozzle, do so. It's quite surprising finding out "online shopping therapy" is a false "God". Living simply is great revenge. Not talking about living in a fridge box, but not "needing" the latest toy/garment.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago
Not a fan of the horrors perpetrated by Teresa of Calcutta, but she did leave us a great credo: Live simply so that others may simply live
Load More Replies... Chich 1 year ago
Recall when someone got a job and moved out on her own shortly after. OMG the things she was going to buy! places she was going to go! Then the rent, heating, hydro, internet, phone etc bills started arriving. Surprisingly no one was very sympathetic to the cries of "It's not fair!"
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
I’m as much a city boy as the next, but buying a parcel of land away from civilization on a sparsely populated island & living off-grid greatly reduces the cost of living. We’ve a personal wind turbine & solar for power, a rain catchment system for water, grey water processing, a leach field and soil, aquatic and hydroponic gardens along with our tropical orchard. We invest time and, of course, upkeep & maintenance, but our only household bills are mobile phones, internet & subscriptions. We pay for things outright & pay off Amex monthly. People always talk about how expensive Hawaii is, but our cost of living to maintain our SF home & its trappings is easily 5 times as much. Obviously not everyone has the means or access to go off -grid, but it IS possible to reduce consumption of most everything & learn to live simpler in small, marked, meaningful ways.
#8
One sad reality is that life often doesn’t go as planned. Flexibility and resilience become essential skills for navigating adulthood.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
Nope, lose a good paying job due to your standards and unwillingness to "go along"...made me more resilient though.
General Anaesthesia 1 year ago (edited)
Having boundaries does not necessarily preclude flexibility.
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This panda votes 1 year ago
Resilience is something I hope to pass on to my kids. It's an essential skill.
4) Become Your Own Best Advocate. "Embrace your worth and live authentically in alignment with who you are at the core," Joyce Marter continued. "Communicate assertively, demonstrating respect for self and others, and set healthy boundaries at home and work. Negotiate to improve your financial health."
5) Access Support. "Nurture your support network like a garden—plant seeds for new relationships, nurture the ones that you cherish, and weed out toxic relationships. Ask for the specific help you need from a person in your network who is capable of providing it. Seek counseling or therapy as a routine and preventative form of healthcare, like going to the dentist or the doctor," the psychotherapist said.
#9
You have all the freedom to stay up as late as you want and eat candy for dinner. But you'll feel horrible if you do..
Also, dishes. So many f*****g dishes all the time.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
Dishes and when I was taking care of my Mom, figuring out what to make for dinner, Every. Damn. Night! Now that I only have to worry about myself, cereal is always a good alternative.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Do you know how cheap dishwashers cost? Mine is called Juan and I only have to pay him $7.50 an hour (still more than he makes at his day job)
Catharina Geerts 1 year ago
Also for washing the dishes there's a machine. I was very happy when I could buy one of those!!
#10
Not everything is black and white , most things are shades of grey.
J Anderson 1 year ago
Adopting logical information and modifying your ideas and/or opinions is a rational state of being.
Load More Replies... Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
My VERY religious SIL and I fell into the pro-choice/pro-life discussion. Sadly, around that time, a 10 year old child in Ohio had to travel to Indiana to have the results of a rape/molestation taken care of. "So...in your world that child had to carry that pregnancy to term".... "No".. "Ain't black and white anymore..is it?".."No"
Abe Hartman 1 year ago
If you talk to the more sensibly of pro lifers you'll find that's quite normal. It's just the crazy radical ones who spend 24/7 on social media.
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keyboardtek 1 year ago (edited)
The world was always shades of grey. But religious dogma reprograms our kids brain into think in black & white absolutes. As do watching TV westerns and action films where the good guy always wins and there are clear bad guys. In high school, four of us kids got in trouble for beating up one kid. At first thought, everyone thought that was really bad. Then they found out this kid was a major bully who daily got each of us alone and tormented us daily. When the four of us learned we were not the only ones getting picked on, we decided we had more power to fight him as a group. So where is the clear black and white in this situation?
Toothless Feline 1 year ago
Outside of pure mathematics, nothing is truly binary. Everything has a transition zone between the extremes, no matter how small.
DON'T PANIC! 1 year ago (edited)
1) Frequently, choices are between options that aren't what you want, but you have to pick one. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good. 2) Sometimes a choice is presented as one you must make, but it turns out that "none of the above" is a viable option if the situation will not get worse.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
Some things are accepted as shades of gray, when in fact some things are very black and white. Know which.
#11
Life is more about how you react to things and less about what happens to you.
Good and bad things will happen in life. What matters is how you react to it.
Senjo Krane 1 year ago
This is the most important thing in my opinion. It makes the difference between misry and happiness.
LB 1 year ago
That falls under the category of 'bad things that happen'... I don't know if I agree with the quote entirely. Psychological issues, according to most research, are not just chemical imbalances. Sometimes there's genetic risks, but there's often other problems, poverty, trauma, not having a social life, etc etc. According to the 'recovery perspective' we don't need to find an underlying sickness to treat the symptoms, and there's always some improvement possible based on the capacity and desires of the person. Source: I have a PhD in depression research.
Load More Replies... keyboardtek 1 year ago
Endurance is the root of all change. Got to learn how to roll with life's punches.
Jessica Senia 1 year ago
Y'know, some people have short fuses due to issues like anxiety, and they don't always react to things in great ways. We don't love that about ourselves. We know it's a problem. But we can't help it sometimes. And being judged by other people for it is super helpful....
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
F.u.c.k.ing YES. 99% of life is outside my control. Only my actions matter, not the outcome.
Papa 1 year ago
I agree with you that our actions matter, but I would like to add that our attitude does too.
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antoinette maldari 1 year ago
Yes, you will experience much more if you view the world through your eyes and ears instead of through the lens on your phone.
#12
Everyone is very f*****g dumb.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
If one has had one's mind programmed by a religion, a cult, or a hateful political party, being dumb makes it very hard to see that you have been conned and lied to all those years. Having at least a little useful logical thinking skill is the only way one can escape those limiting mindsets.
Abe Hartman 1 year ago
It's not the parties so much as the extremes of both.
Load More Replies... Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
Stupidity IS a disability if you keep on voting in the same type of self-centred, lying and corrupt politicians time after time.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
I was reading a Texas GOP election campaign statement the other day where they said basically, 'Vote for us and we'll fix everything wrong in our state' . Lol, they have been in power there since 1994. THEY are what is wrong in the state yet they keep getting voted back in.
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Scott Rackley 1 year ago
Gets worse as you get older. This is not "old man yelling at clouds", this is actually true.
According to some estimates, just 4.3 percent of people have no health problems. Additionally, 1 in every 8 people in the world live with a mental disorder. At a certain point, our burden can become too heavy to handle on our own.
Marter highlighted the following as common signs that we might benefit from seeing a therapist, counselor, or other external support:
- Physical, cognitive, and emotional signs of stress;
- Difficulty sleeping;
- Changes in weight or appetite;
- Symptoms of burnout, such as feeling overwhelmed, fatigued, apathetic, irritable, frustrated, or unmotivated;
- Low self-esteem;
- Panic attacks;
- Thoughts about self-harm or harming others;
- Substance misuse;
- Disordered eating behaviors;
- Decreased functioning at home or work;
- Social isolation or withdrawal;
- Interpersonal conflicts at home or work.
However, it's important to remember that "we shouldn't wait to see a therapist or counselor until we are suffering," Marter said. "We wouldn't wait to see a dentist until our teeth start falling out. See a counselor proactively and preventatively for a wellness checkup, just like you would go to the dentist or the doctor for an annual screening."
#13
While you’re growing up, your parents are growing older.
Em Watson 1 year ago
My mum died 14 years ago, and my dad has dementia, so I'm his carer. I'm only 42 and I grieve for the man he used to be. My dad was my superhero, and I miss him so much. I'll do everything in my power to look after and care for him, like he did for me.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
And when you get old yourself and want to get their advice about how they cope with old age, they can no longer hear you, or their mind is no longer sharp. So talk with them often when they are younger.
BookFanatic 1 year ago
Oh, this one hurts. I've lost both my parents and am now watching my aunts and uncles pass. One of these days it'll be my friend group that starts to thin out.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago (edited)
I think losing my Dad when I was so young and in such a traumatic way that it made me much different then other kids my age. I knew that Mom could walk out of the house and never come home again. Dad went to work and the next time I saw him was 2 days later in a casket at his funeral. It also made me so much closer to Mom, because after Dad was killed any extended family that we had disappeared. I had Mom and it was the last 6 kids at home so that was it, there was no one else. Monday morning when Dad was leaving for work I was mad for some reason and it was the ONLY time that I didn't say "I love you" give him a hug and kiss goodbye. It doesn't matter if I'm pissed off at someone, I ALWAYS say I love you if that person is leaving, hang up the phone or when they're going to bed. I couldn't live with myself knowing that I had the chance to tell someone that I love them and didn't take it and that was the last time I saw or spoke to them.
JohnGalt 1 year ago (edited)
This REALLY hit me today as I was helping my dad out with some manual labor stuff around his house. I am now the "strong" man in the family, and he is the one that needs the help. Needed a hug from dad today as I realized that I have less time left with him than I thought I had.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
I'm hoping for the cyborg revolution where I can have my brain transferred into a super robot body.
#14
Adulting is mostly just being tired and doing laundry.
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
It's like they're secretly buying new clothes and sneaking them into the laundry. Also, how does an infant wear so many outfits????
Load More Replies... MushroomHead22 1 year ago
paper plates. paper cups. paper utensils. toilet paper. paper clothes. paper sheets. paper couch. everything paper. just recycle everything.
#15
Time hits the FFW button after high school... it feels like January was last month sometimes. Next thing you know is been 10 years.
Rosecrucian Roeth 1 year ago
I'm sitting here, 75 years old, and wondering why the past 45 years went by like 45 miiutes :(
Schmebulock 1 year ago
That's because school is usually boring and time flies when you are having fun. College and the 20s are the greatest times ever!
keyboardtek 1 year ago
At age 70, short term memory is so bad that time is either in the here and now, or random memories from one's youth.
Catharina Geerts 1 year ago
Sadly, yes. And the older you get, the worse it gets (shedding a tear)
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
when I got my first real job at 20 years old, the first thing i said to my then 37 year old supervisor "does life move faster the older you get"... he couldn't quite answer me. but it did make me realise; as a child time seems so slow because you always something to look forward to; the time from start of school to christmas was soooo long, in my 20s it flew by. as an adult i dont have something to look forward to unless i pay for it myself.
#16
You can prepare yourself as much as you want, life will always throw you a curve ball. Especially as an adult.
S Bow 1 year ago
A friend once said "I'm so far behind I can see my own a*s" I thought that was hilarious and accurate.
Load More Replies... Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
No one gets the best of everything. The happiest people are those who make the best of what they have.
MushroomHead22 1 year ago
actually thats just life. everyone has a curveball thrown at them, but you never know if you've got a Randy Johnson curve ball or a Roger Clemens curveball. its how you swing at the curve that defines you as a person.
#17
Life isn’t fair.
You can work harder, be better qualified, but still get passed over for promotion. You can be the perfect partner, but they can choose to drop you anytime.
Breadcrumb. 1 year ago
Prech, different cultures have conflicting ideas of what's "fair".
Load More Replies... Child of the Stars 1 year ago
An important one I think many people don't understand is hard worker/good at your job =/= would be a good fit for a promotion. A promotion often means a supervisory or management position, and just because you know the job doesn't mean you have the appropriate leadership skills to supervise or manage others in the role.
Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
Man proposes, God disposes. Whatever your job, be sincere and do the best that you can.You will be happy and peaceful when you're laid to your final rest. You know you've made a difference and you did your best.
#18
You’re not guaranteed anything. Not love, not happiness. I think most people grow up taking for granted that these things WILL happen. Reality is a lot more complex. If you’re lucky what most of us do get looks something more like a comfortable compromise. And a lot of us end up going through life with less.
Russell Tilling 1 year ago
I found out at 58 after my wife left me, that I am on the spectrum (neuro-diverse)! So I am now having to re-orient/re-invent/re-appraise myself, what I want and how I behave. Didn’t see that coming, but it does explain a lot about my past. Enjoy the good times cos things always change eventually. Remember Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs!
#19
The number of possible life paths you have decreases as you get older. Sometimes it actually is too late to start.
Tams21 1 year ago
I have major mobility issues that leave me struggling with everyday tasks on some days but I've always wanted to learn to ski. There is no way that is ever going to happen! I love your optimism but sometimes it really is too late.
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Child of the Stars 1 year ago
Maybe it's too late to start a career towards CEO, but it's never too late to change your direction. Sometimes just working towards a goal is enough.
The Shark 1 year ago
I feel this a little too hard... I've been thinking of basically starting over, at 40. Unfortunately all the things I could pull off doing, nevermind have a minor shred of interest in, aren't worth paying for school or training, since entry level would already be a challenge to land, and the pay would be even less than the sad sum I earn now. My body also can't physically handle the grind anymore after too many years of working multiple jobs and too many hours while being constantly stressed, so it feels like starting over with already limited resources is setting myself up for failure. Or at best, won't improve my situation.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
I'm 39 and just started my second year of a 3 year accelerated bachelor's program. I'm a disabled veteran who has been single for the past 6+ years, after divorcing my abusive ex husband. I've honestly been busting my assss for the past 25+ years of my life and due to many other life issues, personally, physically, mentally, family, financially, to name a few, lol. I have decided to take a medical LOA. I have made the Dean's List every semester, which is at least a 3.5 GPA or above, which for someone who barely graduated high school mostly due to unmedicated very moderate/severe ADHD. (I had to eat bc I never finished this sentence/thought, wtf🤦🏻♀️tbf I ate some gummies earlier.) but anyways that's a pretty big deal for me.My point of all this is I'm going back to school at a university with 18-22 year olds for my BS in Radiology and plan on making close to $85k if not into the 6 figure pay scale, upon graduation working 3/4 days/week.You can still do it, at your own pace if you really want to, especially if you're not happy where you are. Hope this helps.
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Suby 1 year ago
True, but if you are able to make it to the point where you only need one job to survive (as opposed to several while going to college at the same time) or retire with decent benefits, you suddenly have more time available, and there are more options again. You might not make it to the Olympics, but you can pick up new hobbies, volunteer, etc.
#20
People at work can be just as, if not more childish than those at school. Some folk just wait for the opportunity to stab you in the back or belittle you publicly.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
That's when you become the "go to" person and perform adequately to demonstrate value. If they need help, help 'em, if they refuse help, let 'em twist.
Chich 1 year ago
The only difference from elementary school is that they now have pubic hair and drivers licences.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
Oh Jesus, I used to say this all of the damn time! I didn't enjoy that s**t when I was young the first time around, like it even less as a damn Adult.
#21
First, it goes by way faster than you think it will.
Old age doesn't come on gradually. One day you'll just be like, "Dude, I'm old. How the eff did that happen?"
Second, young people are awesome.
Forget all the stereotypes about self-centered, heartless, entitled youth. Young people have an innate ability to say to themselves, "Well, that didn't work out. Oh well, let's do something else."
For young people, screwing up and trying something else, or doing something and realizing it isn't for them, is a part of being young. At some point, we lose that when we get older.
Older people tend to wallow in their mistakes and feel like it's too late to change. They feel trapped in their decisions and obligations.
Working with college students in my 50s, young people have taught me three very important lessons:
1. It's OK to need help.
That's what friends do. My experience has been that young people can be the most loyal and true friends of all.
2. Quit taking life so damn seriously.
There's something funny about pretty much everything, so pull back, take a deep breath, and laugh.
3. It's OK to change and do something else.
You make a mistake? You're not dead! Do something else.
So my advice to young people is: respect youth, learn from them, and they'll respect you back and teach you plenty.
And never lose the qualities I named above.
El Dee 1 year ago
SO TRUE!! I'm not gonna be one of those oldies who goes on about 'the young people of today' Today's young people are tolerant, kind, inclusive and hard working. They have a sense of justice and fairness that was lacking in my (Gen X) generation. The 'young people of today' are thethe very best of us..
The Abe 1 year ago
I am a senior leader in the military. A lot of my Soldiers are younger than my actual children. I learn from them every day - they are the future and the most connected with the modern world we operate in. I still feel like the 1990s was a decade ago and have carry-over trauma from the forever-war.
A dude who likes to drum 1 year ago
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Šimon Špaček 1 year ago
Ask for help. When you think about it, what can you do alone? And I mean really alone? Of course you can cook, but did you grow all that things alone? Do you cook on wood you chopped yourself? And did you mine the ore to make your axe? Accept that you are a human and that we are social animals. Get help and give help to others. Everything gets easier when you accept that simple fact. Or in words of Sapkowski, "the only thing a man can do alone is masturbation."
#22
50 years I'm on this planet and I'm sitting here pondering what I can tell you that is a sad reality of being an adult. Nothing really springs to mind other than the daily grind of going to work. Do better in school and you can increase your prospects of having a job that you actually enjoy.
Scott Rackley 1 year ago
From a toolmaker who makes more than the engineers he reports too, I say this. Be the authority in your field. Be the person someone asks if this s**t is going to go sideways and explain why. Be the person the engineers come, begrudgingly, to post op their failure. Just don't rub it in, train your engineers.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
I've taken a lot of disrespect from co-workers due to me being the "go to" person in my area. Suck up, minion.. "Yeah, THAT'S the problem, I'm taking ownership for what I do." I am quite happy having folks rely on me. I am decidedly NOT happy doing YOUR tasks, and won't.
Load More Replies... Diolla 1 year ago (edited)
It's true. I loved school, got a master's degree, and have mostly had well-paying jobs that I chose myself. My sister, who is no less intelligent, did not enjoy school and left without diplomas. Up to this day she's struggling to make enough money, in minimum wage jobs. In this country, you are nothing without diplomas. I feel for her.
Susie Elle 1 year ago (edited)
I beg to differ. I did well in school but I'd rather be doing something else with my time. The issue is that the thing I'd rather be doing is a creative hobby of mine in a field that's oversaturated with other enthusiasts who want to do the same thing. To earn money with it is not something solely up to how much effort you put into it. I also only discovered I liked this so much a few years ago, so, in the end, what I'd really rather be doing with my time is totally unrelated to how well I did in school.
Chich 1 year ago
And school does not have to be a degree. I passed over a university degree and went to college for a 2 yr diploma in a field I liked. I am also a mercenary in that I will do my best but if something more attractive comes along I will very likely head off. All in all, and maybe some luck tossed in I ended up making more than many friends with degrees and have worked in places I would have likely never experienced had I got a 'sensible" degree and settled down to a cubicle of drudge.
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 1 year ago
More schooling does not equate to a job you’d actually enjoy. I went to law school. I am a lawyer. . 10/10 do not recommend.
Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
So true this - in previous generations. The more highly qualified you were the easier to get a job.That was the way it was . Nowadays, looks like it's not just about paper qualifications. It's how well you can do your job, even if you don't have the certificates.
#23
You have to stop eating processed foods.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
Enjoy your coke and chips every now and then, just not every single day. It's all about balance, you won't die from drinking a sugary coke every once in a while.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
I was amazed to learn that insulin, which the body produces to process all that glucose, creates inflammation in the body. Too much sugar consumption ultimately causes the body to hurt.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
I have been drinking water with lemon for probably couple of years now. I don't like most flavored drinks anymore.
Abdullah Abd Rahman 1 year ago
Yes, processed food will harm you and can shorten your life , needless to say.
#24
How lonely it feels. I’m 20, so i’m still in the transitioning period of becoming an adult, and sometimes it’s so lonely because this is where everyone’s life starts to go at different paces & in different directions. You start growing as a person & sometimes that means growing apart from friends you thought you’d be with forever.
Dumb teenager 1 year ago
I’m hoping it’ll go the other way for me, and give me a fresh start. The less people who know me after I leave school, the better
Šimon Špaček 1 year ago
For me one of the best things in life was changing schools. I had to adapt to brand new environment and new people (not friends at that moment, friendship takes time to form) and of course I hated it back then. But it showed me what new start can do. If nobody knows you, nobody can bring up any mistake. Or something you liked before.
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Rali Meyer 1 year ago
I had always a few circle of friends, which overlapped. That was before social media...
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Only if you let it go that way. Stay involved with friends, family, and activities. If you stay at home wallowing on your couch then that is what you get.
#25
Your career can be ruined by other people through little fault of your own.
Alexia 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah. And if not ruined, then at least derailed. I was literally told by my manager that I could not get the promotion because I didn't "pay attention to my entourage." So great results, experience, positive feedback from co-workers meant nothing, as long as I refused to kiss his pathetic a*s.
Rali Meyer 1 year ago
This seems to be a US movie thing: "A" career. Like there is no alternative. I worked about half a dozen careers in my life.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
The people you work with are NOT your friends! You will get thrown under the bus to cover for others mistakes or so they can get ahead.
Batmanzeenee 1 year ago
I really like these posts, this one is especially important. I wish someone would have told me this when I was young, 43 now.
Multa Nocte 1 year ago
Scott, my friend, are you having a particularly bad day today?
Load More Replies... #26
You can do pretty much anything you want, which is great, but you have to deal with the consequences, which isn't great.
You can stay in bed all day and not work, but you will probably be broke. You can have a big party with your friends, but you have to pay for all the stuff and you have to clean up afterwards.
Basically, you have huge possibilities and opportunities, but it is all down to you.
#27
People will dislike you and sabotage you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. Oftentimes you have only three choices - tolerate it, leave, or go to war.
Leaving is usually the best option.
El Dee 1 year ago
Sadly, I agree. HR should help you but they genuinely aren't interested and, in fact, can often make matters worse..
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
HR exists to protect the company from lawsuits, no other reason.
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Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
Bullies, narcissists, and manipulative people are everywhere, and you have to actively protect yourself from their drama, toxicity, manipulation, abuse, or neglect. You have to know how to recognize those red flags before they leech their way into your life. Know your boundaries, stop people pleasing or you will be treated like a doormat, refuse to tolerate disrespect, practice self care! We're all imperfect humans making mistakes along the way and learning/growing from those mistakes. Don't let drama addicts bait you, literally walk away! What other people think of you is none of your business. Be a good parent, give your children the attention and affection that they deserve as they are our future, invest in every child!
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
I have a colleague who likes to stir the pot. It's created a lot of drama. Fortunately, she's more or less left me alone once she learned a) I won't play her gossip games and b) the boss knows I do my job and do it well (thank you, security cameras!).
Kit Black 1 year ago
Yeah, you know, we can see how happy you are with your life choices through all these lovely comments you've left here- pretty much screams do anything except what Scott does
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#28
None of us have a clue what we're doing or what's going to happen or what we should actually do.
#29
Nothing happens unless you make it happen! A blessing and a curse.
UrAllMorons 1 year ago
.... If you want it to happen, you do have to make it happen, but plenty of c**p happens without you lifting a finger. It's just not the stuff you want to happen.
#30
Remember when you were a kid and summer loomed large on the horizon? It took a while to get there but once you did, it was three months of glorious freedom, adventure, and comfortable boredom. When you’re an adult. You don’t get that anymore. You can look forward to your one or two five day vacations a year, or even just a measly three-day weekend, knowing that you’re going to pay the price when you get back to your job and have to catch up on everything that you missed. It’s an endless, plodding existence in cubicle-land. But maybe your office will have a decent vending machine or something.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
Even with my six weeks of paid leave I still long for summer vacation ;)
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keyboardtek 1 year ago
And then when you retire, if you did not save a ton of money, you cannot travel or do much. If arthritis takes over and limits your movement ability, you get stuck laying around and bored out of your mind.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
For some of us that worked from paycheck to paycheck you even didn't even to get a week of vacation or even an extra two or three days because you couldn't save money up for a vacation.
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
On the other hand, I'm far more confident and comfortable in my own skin at almost 42 years old that I wouldn't trade the last 25+ years for ANYTHING.
fly on the wall 1 year ago
What a bleak picture you paint! May I suggest to get a skill and become self employed? At worst when you complain that the boss is an a*s you know your concerns will fall on the right ears. Seriously though, self employment is the ultimate in self reliance.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
This is only true if you don't set firm boundaries in your work/life balance.
#31
Life is only better if you’re proactive about it. 80% of the time, people who are happy or unhappy are that way because of the decisions they make. You are responsible for your own happiness, and that’s a good thing.
Parents are no longer signing you up for sports or taking you on vacations. You gotta plan that s**t yourself. But now you get to choose what you do and when. Also, it’s your responsibility to enjoy your rest. It’s all in the mindset.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
And, for God's sake, you can over/under schedule your life as you see fit.
Šimon Špaček 1 year ago
Often it is not the decisions you make, but decision you do not make (if that makes sense). You can decide to make a call and schedule a dentist appointment. Or you can not-decide and let it be. It will be more expansive later... A lot of things are not-decisions. Also, "I will start exercise next week" is not-decision, unless you have a really, really good reason not to start today (by good reason I mean "I'm in hospital" or something like that, not "I don't really want to")
#32
The way the world should work and the way that it actually does are sometimes very different things. Don’t confuse them.
For me, this was especially true in the workplace. Being good at what you do and willing to work hard sometimes isn’t what matters.
That said, people skills can be learned and improved upon.
Nikki Gross 1 year ago
Unfortunately, most jobs involve learning how to play politics, don't confuse co-workers for friends.
#33
No one is coming to help. You'd better pay attention and make good decisions.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
And if you make a bad one, fix it (if you can), learn from it, ask for grace, retain the painful memory and move on.
#34
Relationships now require effort to maintain. You need to dedicate energy and time to making plans and meeting friends. It's worth it!
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
Your most important relationship is with yourself, and your children. Partners and friends will come and go, but your family will (usually) be there for you (unless you have a 20 something year old adult child now because it's so cool for them to disrespect and cut off their parents, pretending everything they didn't like during teen years was "toxic", and rename introverts as being "on the spectrum")
#35
LIfe is a 1 player game. 1 Life...no checkpoints...Your experience stays with you. Treat people well, and they will remember you. Treat people badly, and they will never aid you again.
#36
You often don’t have time to do things you once enjoyed. You either have too many responsibilities like kids, extra shifts or generally working late, errands, grocery shopping, or coming home and just being too tired.
You have to try your best not to “grind” and burn yourself out. Find a comfortable medium and try to find time for yourself. .
Brandie Litchfield 1 year ago
It's always time to cook or plan a meal, then wash dishes constantly.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Life is change and it never stays the same for long, but most of this depends on your own life choices.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
Kids are the ultimate time consumer. The notion that they will give one happiness is a myth. The fun part is about 1/10th the time. Hard work and worry is 9/10th.
Lora Leigh 1 year ago
Scott, don't. There are plenty of examples in your family of people breeding who shouldn't.
Load More Replies... #37
When you're young, you identify as a person who hasn't figured out life yet, but but one day you'll be a functioning mature adult who has all their s**t together.
That doesn't ever leave you. You always feel confused in a big world. You still identify as a clueless young person, except you're body isn't young anymore. It's old and failing. And you don't identify with *these* young people, because they're strange. The young people you identify with don't exist anymore, which is lonely and isolating. The old people who had their s**t together when you were young also don't exist, which is also lonely and isolating. Time speeds up, and each year goes faster than the last. You're in a freight train accelerating towards a cliff and scary fast speeds, but you're still waiting for your life to begin, and you're starting to realize that you might have missed that chance a long time ago.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
And your life experience often is no help as the problems you experience in old age are a whole different set of problems.
#38
Free time becomes a luxury.
#39
Sleeping is a luxury. Sleep well especially at afternoon and also at night when your parents tell you too sleep, just sleep.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
Sleep is very important and since you spend so much time doing it don't neglect it. Buy the best bed you can afford!
#40
You don't have to have nap time but you want nap time and you can't have nap time.
keyboardtek 1 year ago
I owned a repair shop and worked alone. I would lock up, put a sign on the door about going to the dentist, and go into the back room and take a nap.
Schmebulock 1 year ago
You should take a short nap regularly. It's proven to have health benefits.
#41
That a lot of other adults, even ones that are younger than you, will try to out-adult you or make you feel like you aren't an adult or basically inferior.
Whether you have a career or a job, the amount of years you work there is usually how old (or intelligent) your superiors will treat you, and that's if you are lucky. (Ex. you work somewhere 2 years you get treated like a 2 year old, you work somewhere 30 years, you get treated like a grown up at a nursery home.)
Most other adults will try to judge your character and value based on where you work, how much you work, and/or how much spending power you have. They will put a lot of emphasis on this. They will only care if you are good person or not and your "inner beauty" or lack of it if they can use you and want to use you.
Not only can you not do whatever you want (there are a number of barriers like public sentiment, the law, the government, money, criminals, etc), but you are restricted on what you can do, and you can't even do what you need to do sometimes. On top of that, a lot of burdens and responsibilities are placed on your shoulders suddenly.
To your town/city, county, state, country, continent, and the world, you only matter as a number. You don't even make up a whole fraction of a percentage. On that scale, you might as well not even exists, and no, they don't care about you. They do, however, care about your money and how it's divided up and allocated. So, outside of your small circle, the only thing about you that matters is how much money you are receiving, spending, being stolen, and being collected.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
I have two friends who are older than me who every once in a while tell me they 'know better because I have more life experience than you do'. I hate it so much, it makes me feel like a child and, meanwhile, they f*ck up in life just as many times as I do.
Tim Gearing 1 year ago
Next time they say that, quote Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw: “A life spent making mistakes is not only more honourable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing”
Load More Replies... Slowdown 1 year ago
I thought the same thing. The OP has a real misanthropic world view.
Load More Replies... #42
You'll really understand that your choices matter for you and your ability to clearly decide will either fill you with a sense of power or dread.
#43
Society kind of stops giving a s**t about you. When you're young they see you as a kid with potential, and most people will go out of their way to guide you and encourage you, and then at a certain age it kind of just stops. No one cares to know anymore about what your future goals or aspirations are etc. Especially if you're a man and average to below average looking you become kind of invisible.
Geoffrey Scott 1 year ago
...or...if you are unsure how to do something. Treated as lesser than.
Child of the Stars 1 year ago
As a person who has felt invisible for most of their life: I look at it this way: invisible people have an easier time of f.u.c.king up and learning from it. I finally owned that invisibility and used it to improve myself. Not one person I wanted to notice has noticed. But I'm almost 12 years sober; have 2 healthy kids; have a stable, decent-paying, full-time job; am enrolled in school; and have a small circle of trusted friends. My self-confidence has absolutely exploded. All as the result of realizing that being invisible gave me a way of changing myself into someone I respect for exactly who she is and what she's accomplished.
#44
The good: You can eat as much ice-cream as you want.
The bad: You can eat as much ice-cream as you want.
No, seriously. You think that you get all the freedom in the world when you become an adult, but you are trading ALL your free time just for the means to survive...
Schmebulock 1 year ago
All that dairy will have you spending extra time on the porcelain throne.
François Bouzigues 1 year ago
Litterally the first thing i did with my first paycheck. I bought fancy ice creams, and ate as much as i would. Spoiler alert, my tummy did ache afterwards.
Corvus 1 year ago
A better way to put this is "You MAY eat as much ice-cream as you want... but you CAN'T."
keyboardtek 1 year ago
If you are lactose intolerant, you won't want to eat ice cream!
Load More Replies... Nikki Gross 1 year ago
I will admit, when I first started to make a little bit of money and didn't have to watch every penny I spent, I ate like a little kid. The cereal we couldn't afford, the good ice cream and frozen pizzas, mac and cheese, hell yes! All of the name brand food after eating generic and off brands for years, yes please. Once I got it out of my system I was good, but man for awhile it was like a kid in a candy shop whenever I went to the grocery store.
#45
You will spend your life working to buy time… what time?…. Time you aren’t actively working to buy more time….
#46
The opportunities you receive will always be based on your perceived value, not what you feel you are owed or entitled to.
#47
Those churches are still around for a reason. The real hope and the real joy is there. It doesn’t come in the form of regulations and tax breaks. It comes in the freest form of mind to heal the soul and empower the brain to make society good for all around you.
Some call it religion, God, many other names for God, etc. but what it really is, is a form of self love and preservation.
No government or lover or family or friend can make laws enough to give you that inner peace. That Zen.
You’ve got to find your own spirituality and your own faith, put it to a purpose, and THEN you will be happy.
Simple gifts of random kindness throughout the day is all you need to do.
Lora Leigh 1 year ago
Those churches are still around because of money and corrupt community and legislative influence. They subsist of the manipulation of those who either don't know aby better or choose not to.
Julius Zuke 1 year ago
However flawed and human churches are, the message of hope, love, and empathy is universally needed. Go to church Learn those messages. It's OK to notice that people's walk don't match their talk.That means you "get it." At that point, it's OK to walk away from hypocrites (Jesus did!)and love your neighbors in your own way.
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Bill Hankel 1 year ago
Some random person online says it's "fake" ... oh, no! Evidence please.
#48
People nowadays have absolutely no feelings at all. They want the "scoop" on their cellphone to post on social media.
What do you think ?
This panda votes 1 year ago
One of my sad truths I learned as an adult was that my religion wasn't true. Losing your religion suuuuuucks.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 1 year ago
i was never a "strong" believer anyway, but i found going full atheist incredibly liberating.
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Roberta Surprenant 1 year ago
All too true, I was youngest of five children and by the age of 24 I was an orphan.
This panda votes 1 year ago
One of my sad truths I learned as an adult was that my religion wasn't true. Losing your religion suuuuuucks.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 1 year ago
i was never a "strong" believer anyway, but i found going full atheist incredibly liberating.
Load More Replies... Roberta Surprenant 1 year ago
All too true, I was youngest of five children and by the age of 24 I was an orphan.
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