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30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online
Having someone who you can rely on can enrich your existence in so many ways; good friends can bring out the best in you, and they're always ready to give you a hand whenever you feel like your life may start to crumble apart.
However, it’s important to give back and remember that every connection has its do’s and don'ts, and there are certain ethics that nobody communicates yet everyone always follows, even if the person in question is a random passer-by:
"Girls of Reddit, what is an unspoken rule of 'Girl Code?’" – this online user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities to ask about the unwritten rules that women tend to live by. The question has managed to receive over 30K upvotes and 7.8K worth of comments discussing the most important rules of girlhood.
More info: Reddit
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#1
You help other women who seem to be in trouble. When I was a teenager my mom and I went to Walmart to get groceries. We split up to save time and a man started stalking me through the aisles. I finally got out to a main area and saw a lady with two kids. Walked right up to her and stood as close as possible. She was confused but when I made a motion at the guy, she understood. She loudly thanked me for getting the milk and called me honey. Also referred to her son as my brother. Once the guy left she stayed with me until I saw my mom, and then stayed where she was until I got to my mom and motioned that I was okay. That lady deserves an award for helping me that day.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Everyone should help people in this scary predicament. This needs to be at the top!
Katinka Min 3 years ago (edited)
I dream, that one day men will stop being predators and stop stalking, raping and killing women.
Wilko Lunenburg 3 years ago
Almost all things mentioned here also apply to men. Okay, I do not have any tampons with me, but come to me for protection and I'm your brother / dad / friend.
propgamer XL 3 years ago
When I was young a guy was bothering me at the bus station and then I saw my roommate. He accidentally had to take the same bus home. ERIC!!! You big best friend and roommate from me! Was so happy to see him. Guy left immediately.
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AustrianGirl 3 years ago
I'm six years older than my sister, when she started going to parties she had to have someone to drive her and her friends (I'm from Austria, drinking at 16, driving at 17). A lot of times she asked me to come with her so they had a diver. Somehow I often ended up with a couple of drunk girls (I didn't know most of them), which I pretended to be my sisters or cousins...just to get rid of some really annoying guys. I always tried to get them to either call their parents or talk them out of their phone to call the parents or siblings myself - because no way I would let a drunk girl go with a guy she didn't know before being drunk, or go with a drunk driver. Some girls were really mad at me because the parents were not happy how drunk they were, but I will never forget that one mom thanking me in tears for looking out for her daughter. (Turned out she lost her older daughter because she got in a car with a drunk driver.)
Priscilla Reshell 3 years ago
If anyone comes up to and acts like they know me and there's a creepy man behind them I'll gladly act like I know them ❤️
Tigerpacingthecage 3 years ago
This is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. When I was younger (I'm 34 and more invisible to that now - not as easy as a target) and considered a "prey" many older (to me) women have helped me, especially at bus stops. I'm grateful but SO sad it's needed. I'm happy to help now. These type of "men" are usually going after kids and young women - like 12-20yrs. It's disgusting. And most other men just ignore (accept) it.
Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago (edited)
this is exactly what I would do for any woman in this position! Pro tip: be fat. it's like I don't even exist to men or women or people since gaining 100lbs.Thanks Prednisone! You're the best! 🤣
Gail Peterson 3 years ago
Sad, but true fact. My weight has fluctuated from size 4 to 20+ multiple times during my adult years, and when I'm heavy it's like I'm almost invisible. No eye contact now vs much eye contact when I was thin. Since I have experienced it several times I try to make sure I'm not perpetuating that with others.
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WordWeaver 3 years ago
It's so wrong that this should EVER be necessary. Men need to stop seeing females as prey animals! But well done to all those who protect the endangered!
RELATED:
#2
Person 1: I like your dress!
Person 2: Thanks! It has pockets! <displays said pockets>
If your dress has pockets, you let them know.
Fiona Parky 3 years ago
You also have to put your hands in the pockets as you say this. It’s a thing
Disgruntled Pelican 3 years ago
My wedding dress had pockets! And those pockets were big enough to hold my phone and tissues! Best dress ever
ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
then you have to tell them where they can get the dress because dresses with pockets are precious
IAmSomeone 3 years ago
If u don't tell anyone, then you don't have pockets or they're fake. And when u tell them, you have to put your hands in da pockets.
Load More Replies... Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
I like this one! Too bad the pockets aren’t even big enough to hold our phones!
Lillukka79 3 years ago
I just bought a dress, made in UK, that has pockets that will hold my phone, keys and wallet! Just ordered it in q nother colour, because it is the best dress ever!
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IAmSomeone 3 years ago
They're the only reason. Now I want to learn... I'm wearing a dress rn and it has no pockets. I have jeans somewhere in my closet, the pockets are too small or fake. I want to learn how to sew...
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Heather Honer 3 years ago
Once, when someone complimented my dress, my husband told them it has pockets before I could! He wasn't being snarky, he was being sincere! Such a cutie.
#3
If there's a red spot on her pants you tell her discreetly and immediately.
EDIT: A lot of guys are asking what to do if they see a woman with a blood stain. You have two options. You could tell her yourself which may or may not be appreciated depending on the woman. Or you could simply ask another woman to tell her. I love how many guys wanna help look out for the ladies who end up in this predicament! :D
Dippin Dot 3 years ago
My son is almost 14 and I have told him if he sees this in school he immediately hands the girl his sweatshirt to tie around her waste - and just needs to say “you’ll want to tie this around your waste. You can bring it back to me tomorrow.” If he doesn’t have a sweatshirt he needs to just be polite and say “I don’t want you to get embarrassed but I thought you should know you have something on your pants” and point to his own butt…
Luke Deulen 3 years ago
I don't see why a woman should get mad at a man for letting them know. They're just trying to help and if people want to normalize periods and talking about periods, which I agree with, it should be normal for a man to let a woman know.
Kaos 3 years ago
Not mad, just more embarrassing. It definitely should be normalized. But people get embarrassed about anything on their butt anyway! Hahaha!
Load More Replies... WordWeaver 3 years ago
I don't like it that we are brought up to be ashamed of a natural part of our lives. Has happened to me and oh, the embarrassment! The second time was at the start of menopause, when I was totally caught out by a surprise flow. (Hadn't had a period for years at that point!) I was gobsmacked by the unsupportive attitude of my female boss because I needed to go home and change my clothes. I only lived 15 minutes away but what a fuss she made about getting my class covered for while. No sisterhood there!
Gail Peterson 3 years ago
Shame on her. If anyone should empathize with this happening it's another woman.
Load More Replies... ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago
If a guy has to say it to a woman he doesn't know, even if it isn't true, he can always add "I have sisters" "and I would want someone to tell them"
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
THAT is an excellent idea! And here’s something weird—- every guy has a MOM who’s also a women-person. So the sisters” part isn’t necessary; just say “I have a Mom & I’d want people to help her out” and that way every. Single. Man can be helpful & truthful !
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Sarah Jux 3 years ago
We only feel embarrassed because it isn't normalized and considered taboo to talk about. How is a 100% normal function of our bodies seen as shameful or embarrassing?
James G. Currie 3 years ago (edited)
Superstition... In some places, they still believe that a menstruating woman can curdle milk, desanctify holy ground, and make a man's salvation at risk...etc. After all, for millenia people understood that when you bleed, you die; yet women are bleeding life threatening amounts of what is seen as blood, and and surviving an apparent lethal wound. So...women are *obviously* in league with Evil. -- Never call the human animal logical. If something can explain it with a wave of the hand, we want to believe...so eventually we do, even if it ends-up demonising half the species. >Sigh< There is a disadvantage to having intelligence and an imagination.
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ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
always give them a jacket, skirt, or sweater to hide it with if you have one
Justin Hollowell 3 years ago
I'm a single dad with a 14 year old daughter... I have pads stashed every where... pup truck, full size truck and camper trailer
Heather Glomb 3 years ago
Men, say something like "please don't be embarrassed, it's a normal, natural thing, but your period leaked through your pants." If you're not confident about being blunt, try the more subtle "you might have sat in something, you should go to the restroom to check." Say either quietly, to her, preferably away from others if possible. You absolutely can ask another woman to mention it instead, but if one isn't around, don't wait and hope someone else will notice. Once we start leaking, it's usually a rapid process to stamping the seat with our blood-soaked butts.
#4
My personal unspoken rule is keep an eye on other girls drinks when you are at the bar. Even if I don't know them. I have asked random strangers to keep an eye on mine and they are always like, "GIRL YES we have to look out for each other!"
Lauradda Stuper 3 years ago
Dont get me wrong this is highly important but still when it comes to drinks at a party/bar I just wouldnt ever let my drink out of my own eyes because not all women are innocent...
Charles Williams 3 years ago
Thank you. Why would you trust some rando girl as if women have never committed any crimes? If it's not somebody that you already know and trust with your life, don't trust them with your drink.
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Amanda Wallace 3 years ago
Never never take your own eyes off your drink. Human traffickers often use women to lure other women. There are also women predators.
Kim W 3 years ago
100% true . I learned if you leave a drink unattended don't bother drinking it when you return .
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pusheen buttercup 3 years ago
Random strangers who eagerly agree to watch your drink may be predators too, or working with one - even if it is a woman. I understand if sometimes there are no better options available - just be careful
Chel Bolin 3 years ago
My friends took me out one night. One was playing pool and instead of leaving her drink with us she took it with her. She turned her back to make a pool shot and someone drugged her drink. It hit fast, she spent 45 minutes locked in the bathroom. I then had to get help putting her in her car and taking her to urgent care.
Kelsey Taylor 3 years ago
But don’t assume that other women are going to keep a lookout on your drink. There are weirdos errywhere.
Anne McKinney 3 years ago
You can also hand your drink to the bartender to put behind the bar if you're using the restroom or going to dance. They'll be happy to do it for you.
#5
If another girl comes over to you and pretends to know you, no questions asked we've been friends for 30 years and haven't seen each other in 5.
And always give a tampon if you have one, and someone needs one.
Edit: never lend tampons, always give.
Lisa Whipp Myhre 3 years ago
I gave a lady my little fan I could stick in my phone's port; I was just ending menopause and she was just starting. She was so freakin happy!
Kristyn Ratigan 3 years ago
I always keep a few tampons on me all of the time for this very reason! I've given a few to people,asI hope someone would help me out if I was in the same boat! ❤️
Esiaa 3 years ago
Same, always have a few on me. I've helped several colleagues already.
Load More Replies... AAPnonraeba 3 years ago
I had once sat by another woman on the bench when we were waiting for a train. Because a wobbly, drunken guy was stumbling to my bench where I sat alone with spot free (two places on a bench) she just glanced at the guy, I smiled shyly and we sat together untill train arrived. Then we boarded, he didn't, and we went to different seats with a nods. No pretending, just agreement and mutual vigil.
Steven John 3 years ago
Hell, I thought that one was a parent thing. I've called "Dad" so often, I just turn around with "How is my favourite child right now?"
Sara Matta 3 years ago
If one of my friends sits down and says "pretend to have a conversation with me". Even if I don't know you. I will make up a stupidly long story and keep it going as long as I can and try to move them to another place further from where they approched me from. Then I pretend like I'm going to show them something (for show) and pull my phone and type in if they are trying to get away from someone and say just blink 3 times if yes don't respond
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
Good on you! When I went to NYC with my family (summer before freshman year), my mom gave my little brother and I a lot of safety rules. Most of them were common sense, stay in sight, don’t take stuff from strangers, etc, but one that she stressed was that if a woman comes up and pretends to know you, PLAY ALONG, they’re probably being stalked. FYI mom went to college in NYC and said she has needed to use that tactic before.
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#6
As far as I've ever seen, every girl knows 'the look'. 'The look' is a look a girl gets on her face when she is in a situation that she doesn't want to be in, it's part 'help me' and part 'get me out of here'.
When you see this look, you step in. Doesn't matter if you know the girl or not.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
I will be anyone's aunt. ANYONE'S. AUNT. ANY. TIME. I just have to see the look or have them look my way for too long, and BOOM, I swoop in with Auntie check-in. I will also call any female (or male), no matter age, color, nationality, or religion "Sugar Pop" if I think they need help because that is the nickname I call my nieces.
Richard Scott Taylor 3 years ago
Adopt-a-dad here.. I can recognize that look across the room. I have been a Dad, Granddad, and even an older sugar daddy to women with the look. Nothing like an older large loud white guy asking what your intentions are with my ________ to get creeps to goway. My unasked for privileges become a useful tool.
New Everywhere 3 years ago (edited)
Very much appreciated way to use that privilege 😊
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Sparkle_Queen 3 years ago
Once at school some random girl was with a guy who was saying inappropriate/uncomfortable stuff and she was like help me.on her face and I was like hey bestie can u come to my locker with me, now she's one of my (actual) besties
ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
and depending on her age you pretend to be her mom/aunt or her bestie. you get her tf out of there if you can
Christopher Bowers 3 years ago
As a guy Im good at reading people and have sensed when someone was uncomfortable around someone else and I discreetly will do a signal or beforr the pandemic would mouth the words" you okay?" Being a tall and broad guy i may be intimidating to other guys, but I was raised right and do my best to lend a hand to anyone that may be in need.
A Thousand Years Wide 3 years ago (edited)
This happened to me and no one helped. I gave everyone that walked by the look and even started yelling for help and swatting the drunk guys hands off me. People can be oblivious and have the bystander bias sometimes. Someone actually told me they didn't help because they assumed I wanted to be there with him and that I could have walked away if I didn't. Dude was sloppily putting his arms around me and deadweighting them on me when I was trying to swat him off. It wasn't easy to get away.
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Sometimes it’s hard to tell, when it’s drinking time. More than once I’ve been told Go Away by a woman who looked to me was in trouble. Seems they were just tipsy & mad at the guy. Still doesn’t stop me from jumping in though-I’m a little old white lady with a loud voice!
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Bee she/her 3 years ago
I had to give that look for an older girl because a teacher was verbally abusing me and she was watching to make sure he didn’t touch me.
Stephanie Hutchinson 3 years ago
One of my now besties saw creeps trying to talk to me. She came up...never seen her before in my life, and said OMG THERE YOU ARE WEVE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU ALL NIGHT" And she pulled me away and said in sorey you looked so uncomfortable. Later that year, i beat a boy up at the same bar for hurting her.
#7
No women left behind at the club. You look out for and take care of your girls and don’t let random men drag them away without their explicit permission.
Joely King 3 years ago
Literally any girl who looks alone or uncomfortable with someone. Always watch out for your girls no matter what.
Omi bub 3 years ago
Even if your friend gives explicit permission a good friend will take you to one side, point out how under the influence you are (if needed) & that you are definitely sure. Then get a photo of the man's face
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Indosidius 3 years ago
Men have a saying: Bro's before ho's. I think women should have a saying: sisters before misters.
Kaydin Hutton 3 years ago
You go together you LEAVE together unless she gives sober consent before hand. Let me put this in bold SOBER CONSENT is the ONLY consent you should accept!
Esiaa 3 years ago
Exactly. I also always ask for a message when they get home so I know they're safe.
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Shawn Gula 3 years ago
Had two guys at closing time try to drag my friend to their tiny two seater car! My friend is literally 95lbs and we were pulling on her like a wish bone. She was laughing and drunk, I was sober and not going to lose this human tug of war! I finally caught the attention of the HUGE security guard who was easily 6'5 and 250 lbs of muscle. He said what going on here, I said these guys are trying to take my friend and just then they let her go and said noo we were playin. They were not just playin, we had already been dragged about 10-15 feet towards their car, plus they had both her hands by then and I had her by the waist
Barbara Jacobs 3 years ago
I've seen girl that drank to much in a corner , helped them, got them water sat with them til there friends found them . You never no who or what can happen to them .
Katie Howerton 3 years ago
Far too many times I have been left at the bar or my friends/family thinking that they're ok being left behind no matter how much I insisted on them coming with me and it turned out poorly for them
J Martinez 3 years ago
This was a definite unspoken rule for my friends and I. We arrive and leave together. If one doesn't leave with us, we'll never include her in our group. Once a girl refused to leave with us no matter how we insisted and the argument was getting very loud at the club. Later we found out that she left with a guy who then picked up another guy. They demanded that she had sex with them. She was lucky to escape the situation. Still, we didn't invite her again to go out with us. We already felt awful and guilty that this happened to her.
B. C. 3 years ago
Not always girls!!! My daughter was taught to do the same and she told me about this time she and her girl-friend (they share the house together with other people) got another drunk girl they sort of knew out of a bar situation where some guys where looking at the girl as prey. The girl was so drunk she couldn't remember where she lived so they took her to their home. She starting crying and shouting as loud as she could walking up the other tenants. My daughter tried to calm her down and the girl tried to strangle my daughter. Didn't remember anything the next day. Told my daughter to never ever do that again. If a woman chooses to be that drunk, she should bear the consequences (not in a bad way) ...
#8
Always give each other tampons and pads when needed.
Deborah B 3 years ago
Yes! And you also have to tell her if she has bled through. If she has bullied you or been nasty to you in the past, you aren't obligated to loan her your cardigan or jacket to tie around her waist, just offer to tell her friend(s) she needs them in the bathroom.
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a_smol_berry 3 years ago (edited)
One time (I think I was like 12) I was with my dad and brothers in a roller skating arcade thing (it’s the fun spot in New York) but I didn’t have my bag in the building with me. It was out in the car. But I went to the bathroom and noticed I had gotten my period. So I panically left and went around asking people there if they had any pads. But the first lady I had asked told me she was on menopause (she looked way younger across the building) but she brought me to the front desk and got me a pad and I always think of her and strive to be like her. I think the best thing was that she had actually looked in her bag for something.
Has sold soul for corn chip 3 years ago
Im always the one people go to when in need of sanitary products, even if I don't like them much. Even when I'm not on my period I always have some on hand
Heather Glomb 3 years ago
I use the cup, but keep a few spare tampons in my bag just in case someone needs one.
Amanda Briles 3 years ago
Along these same lines, if a woman asks you for a quarter, you give it. She doesn't need two dimes and a nickel. She doesn't need a dollar. She REALLY needs a quarter, exactly.
Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Yes because said sanitation is more important than any petty ( or not so petty) feud.
#9
If their strap is twisted, untwist it. Always carry extra feminine products, and extra hair Ties. And if she’s being harassed, you just link up and walk with her, no questions asked.
Also, my daughters have a literal code... if they ever text me the secret code, I will drop everything I’m doing and call them immediately, make up a major crisis and demand to come get them immediately. Make it 100% my fault, but give them an immediate out to any situation they don’t feel able to simply walk away from.
Amy Sessions 3 years ago
We have used it in our family, with each other and our kids.
Load More Replies... Manic Mama 3 years ago (edited)
If my daughters text me "How is Grandma's dog" it means they need to be picked up NOW, but can't or don't want to say so. I make out that the dog passed away & we need to go be with Grandma. Hint: Grandma doesn't have a dog. Read that hint on Bored Panda.
Glen Ellyn 3 years ago
My children are grown & flown now, but years ago I told them they could ALWAYS use me as an excuse anytime someone suggests something they're not comfortable with. And they could call me for a ride home at any time, no questions asked.
Carlotta Müller 3 years ago
You should do that with your sons too. Sons too need a secure out of situations they can't come out alone!
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
What do they mean by a twisted strap? Backpack strap, bra strap (nope), purse strap?
ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
bra strap- let them know and ask first though!
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AAPnonraeba 3 years ago
My friend adviced me to rename her contact on the phone and call her by her male sounding nickname so I someone hears or lurks at my phone I might pretend I call my boyfriend.
WordWeaver 3 years ago
Because your Mum will support you a lot more than police will in many places. Police are already overwhelmed, while Mum has (one hopes) your safety at heart. It just makes me angry that so many men seem to think females are all fair game. Not people with hearts and feelings and a life but just useful orifices.
Somewhat-Guilty 3 years ago
The nicest thing a complete female stranger ever did for me was pull my hair out of the way and tie it back when she found me throwing up at a bar restroom. She petted my hair and said "it's going to be ok sweetie, I got you". I never saw her again. Thank you sweet stranger!!!
#10
If she's dating a known abuser, take turns getting her out of the house. Play cards, shop for shoes, ask her to help you lay out the garden, make pie. Never broach the subject yourself - just make sure she knows she's welcome any time, day or night, with or without advance notice.
Hill Branda 3 years ago
Ummm...what do reusable shopping bags have to do with this topic? You have the wrong picture to go with "If She's Dating an Abuser..."
Deborah B 3 years ago
If she's starting to date a known abuser, you owe her a heads up - even if you're not friends.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
If the relationship is new, she or he may not believe you, because they have not yet shown that kind of behaviour...and if the relationship is new, it is hard to see anything bad past the first flush of good feelings!
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Deanna Crichley 3 years ago
And it's just going to p*ss him off if you are all intervening all of the time.eventually she goes home, and there he is, spring loaded. It's fine to let her know she can go anywhere, but don't get in between. It could be dangerous for her.
AndThenICommented 3 years ago
I don’t see Publix as being a real advocate against domestic violence
A dragon within 3 years ago
I had a friend stay with me for a summer with her 3 kids. I have 2 of my own. 2 bedroom place, 1 1/2 baths, thank goodness. lol She went back to him which I hated but she knew she was welcome back any time. She did eventually leave him and ended up with a man who treated her like a princess.
Blarrg 3 years ago
I wonder about the part that says "Never broach the subject yourself". I get that you don't want to make her uncomfortable and push her away, but also wonder if there is a way to let her know 'I know you're hurting, it's okay to talk about it.'
Pam Derck 3 years ago (edited)
Having someone directly call it out puts you on the defensive -- either to defend yourself, or your choice in partner, or your partner. ("It's not ALL bad" or "They're not ALWAYS like this.") Indirect hints are good because you're leading them in the direction or realizing it for themselves without pushing them away. Eg, "They said that?" with an expression of concern, or "are you ok with that?" or "didn't that upset you?" are all good examples of prodding without isolating.
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WordWeaver 3 years ago
Seen it, had my fingers burnt. Can you really save someone from themselves? You can only try.
Stephanie Hutchinson 3 years ago
My bf and i watched this awkward date and as soon as the girl went to the bathroom he pushed me to go in there and i told her she could come with us and my bf would take care of him if the situation was bad. We drove her home.
Doesn't Matter 3 years ago
I had an abusive boyfriend once. He was always controlling then one day turned to threatening violence...I left the house on foot , thinking being out in the open would keep him from hurting me...He was following close behind me...Loudly whispering threats and telling me I better gtf back inside. My neighbor happened to be standing in her doorway with her two kids and heard me say "Please just go home" to him...We locked eyes and she looked right at him then back at me and said "Do you need to come in my house?" I said "yes" quietly and quickly sprinted up her walk way . We'd never talked before..I can't say I'd even seen her before..But in that moment she was willing to make my problem hers. I left my boyfriend standing on the sidewalk and closed the door. I'll say it took me until he actually hit me before I finally left him. But I'll never forget what she did for me.
#11
Do not post group pictures on social media with friends unless everyone involved knows & approves of said pic.
Daffodil 3 years ago
This is incredibly important! One time I went to a friends house for a sleepover, our plan for this was that we were going to go to a queer prom that was being held for kids in our district, but my parents are homophobic so I obviously couldn't ask them. There was a lot of people posting pictures/videos, and I did my best to stay out of most of them, but one video got posted that had me in it. Luckily my parents didn't follow the person who posted it, and therefore didn't see it, but it's always important. If they had seen that, I probably would've been grounded, or worse pulled out of public school entirely and been homeschooled. (I unfortunately wouldn't put it past them, the first time I came out they made me switch schools). Even if the situation isn't like this, and the person just doesn't want their picture posted, it's still important!!
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago (edited)
My sister does this with every picture I'm in with her, posts without asking. I've told her numerous times I'm uncomfortable with pictures of myself on the internet, yet I'm told I'm just sensitive and being mean to her. My profile picture for both my Instagram and Facebook was taken in 2017, there are no selfies of myself anywhere.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
Who's telling you you're mean? If it's anyone other than Sis, they are ignorable. If it is Sis, the mean one is her... Unless you start enforcing your legal rights. In some areas, posting photos of someone without their permission is illegal. I believe that you can flag photos and report them as being posted without permission of one or more persons in it.
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Sparkle_Queen 3 years ago
My friend posted an ugly picture of me on her snap story and I didn't talk to her for a week cus apparently everyone else was ok with it (group pic) and she didn't think she needed to ask me 😡
Jayne Lindsey 3 years ago
When I was a front end supervisor, one of my cashiers was posting photos to Facebook and another didn't want anything to do with it. Not trying to stop the poster, but not being in the photos taken. Poster was extremely annoyed but was quickly shut down when I informed them that posting a photo of someone without their consent (particularly since this was when Facebook was brand new and didn't have all the security measures it does now) is an invasion of privacy by law 😐
#12
If you walk into the bathroom and the girl in there is being quiet, you do your business and leave as quickly as you can. Girl is trying to poop!
Mimi M 3 years ago
When I am in the ladies room at the mirror and someone's in the stall, I always turn the sink on until I leave. Give them some privacy, even if it's just to pee in peace.
Kristyn Ratigan 3 years ago
Yes,a MILLIONtimes!! Or use the hand dryer for a little extra time if there is one! When I'm out I have my stores I know their bathrooms are less crowded and I don't feel like I have to hold it! Some ladies still feel girls don't go #2, and will sit and laugh if they hear something in a stall. Don't be rude, everyone goes, everyone had diarrhea at some point or other, be a nice person and don't make them feel more uncomfortable about a very normal thing!
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Sarah Jux 3 years ago
Again try to stop being ashamed of bodily functions, we all poop, we all pee, we all fart loudly sometimes, no one is surprised.
Gail Peterson 3 years ago
Some people are simply shy, telling them not to be isn't going to change it like flipping a light switch.
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marianne eliza 3 years ago
Learn about and use the politely timed flush. Covers all kinds of sounds and rids the bowl of any odor producing substances quickly.
Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago
yes I do love a good courtesy flush! Or if the eagle is landing, nothing like a whoosh to cover a potential plop! You know, I've actually taught a few people about the courtesy flush. I wasn't aware that people didn't just know. I thought it was *instinktive* okay bye.
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European sparrow 3 years ago
This must be about American stalls. With big gaps all around the door.
Brina 3 years ago
It has nothing to do with the doors. It's about making "noises", some might find embarrassing
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Muffy Pease 3 years ago
Women do not poop in public bathrooms when there are others there. Probably PTSD from middleschool/high school when they would have been teased to have made any sort of audible sound in the bathroom.
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Nikki Angulo 3 years ago
Last time I was in Korea, the stalls in the Staff’s ladies room at the school I was working at had “noise makers” that played music or made water sounds that you could use! I played with them for fun (once.)
Heather Glomb 3 years ago
The military kinda beat this out of me - I don't care if someone hears me doing my business. I don't linger though because others may be sensitive and need to be alone.
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕 3 years ago
YES. THIS. 100%! I honestly thought I was the only one that does this cuz damn sometimes I pray girls will stop checking their damn hair and LEAVE, so I know the super quiet girl is praying I'll leave. I have legit had women try to talk to me through the stall while I'm waiting for them to gtfo!
Tiffany Schmidt 3 years ago
This one is so true lol. Im not going to lie I will wait until no one is in the bathroom to go
#13
Tell her when you see him cheating, snap a pic for proof if you can. I've lost friends for this but I'll still do it every time.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
In some cases, stupidity, in others, pride... "You're just trying to ruin my relationship 'cause you're jealous!" "You always wanted him yourself, and you're trying to make me break-up with him!" "Not possible, he *can't* be cheating on me, I do everything he wants!" -- In some cases, it is just "Shooting The Messenger." -- That all being said, make sure that the cute chick he's with at the restaraunt isn't actually a sister or cousin, etc...
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Jaden Alexander 3 years ago
Or tell HIM if you're friends with both and see her cheating. It's wrong no matter who does it.
propgamer XL 3 years ago (edited)
Tell her or him, even if you're not friends. A couple warned me that a guy was dating someone else too and sent me a pic. They didn't warn her though, so I did. Apparently a lot of ppl knew he was a cheater. We went to a fair and he knew the singer and asked him to sing a song for us. Guy sang Your cheating heart. I was like: what a peculiar song. He was warning me.
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Lucy 3 years ago
I cut ties with a best friend who knew & saw my ex-husband cheat & didn't tell me. She never said anything until another friend happened to see him out cheating & she told me right away then the supposed best friend admitted to knowing about it. Women should have each other's backs be it friends or not know each other.
Emreyhealth 3 years ago
I once did this for a girl I wasn't very close with, but after this, we exchanged phone numbers, cried about it together and then mutually hated on him. I was his neighbor and he LOATHED me after this, but what do I care? Although, the other girl was my friend, but she made her choice. His gf didn't choose to be cheated on.
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
But do make sure you have your facts straight. Do you really want to stir up that kind of drama to find out that was his sister/cousin he was hugging?
Cairo Iceis 3 years ago
I believe it goes both ways. I will not be friends with someone who cheats.
María J Jiménez 3 years ago
Mi sister lit don't believe any proof that I showed her, there where pics, audios, friends of him that felt bad for her and she still don't believe it.
Stephanie Hutchinson 3 years ago
Another time i met a guy online we hooked up a few times before tealizing he was in a long term relationship. I found her in his social media and told her everything because she looked so sweet and innocent. She was more understanding a girl looking out for a girl. I think that shows confidence and rational thought
Amy Stone-Chandler 3 years ago
Sadly, this often ends badly for the person telling them. Do it. ALWAYS.
#14
This could be a trend across genders too but when a girl says they love something you are wearing you always tell her where you bought it and how much it was and ESPECIALLY if you got it for a discount.
flutterbyy 3 years ago
What if they are the spoils I collected from a robbery, should I tell them the address?
GirlFriday 3 years ago
"My shoes? Thank you! Got them at Target for $4." THOSE ARE MY PEOPLE!!
New Everywhere 3 years ago
Mine too! I have this cute a*s dress I got from the thrift for like $2. I told my aunt after a compliment on it and she was all "don't talk about how much your clothes cost" Me: "but I'm so PROUD!!" A cousin tried to emabarass me by asking loudly in front of everyone about my shoes. I loudly (and proudly) proclaimed they were $5 and I love them and I'm cute and clever so HA! 😁
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𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕 3 years ago
Can't even count how many times a month I say, "Thanks, I got it at Goodwill! Five bucks!!"
Patsy 3 years ago
Us irish have a term for that. "Pennys hun" (Primark for those in the UK and......I don't have an American equivalent, sorry)
A Thousand Years Wide 3 years ago
My answer is almost always Goodwill which wouldn't be very helpful to them.
Person 3 years ago
with men it's more like "bro nice *blank*" "thanks." and if they care where you got it, they ask and you say "I have no clue lol I got it a really long time ago" which uh... could be anywhere from 10 days to 10 years... yeah most of us have no memory it's obvious by... everything.
C. Nels 3 years ago
Uugh people are always so annoying when I do this. They'll go like "YOU SHOULDNT SAY YOU GOT IT AT A CHEAP SHOP RESPECT YOURSELF". Why should I be embarrassed for finding nice clothes for a good price and sharing said knowledge. I thought it was a neurotypical thing but I guess the people around me just like to put me down 🥲
#15
Everyone is friends in the bar bathroom after 11, no matter what.
Joely King 3 years ago
Best friends foreverrrrrr! Until the bar closes and you never see them again.
Olivia Daly 3 years ago
There's an app for that 😉 Trying to reunite bar friends based on vague experiences listed
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Jami Stewart-Laycock 3 years ago
An instant room full of new besties! Girl followed me into the potty once and asked how I knew her date who has followed me to the bar for drinks when I arrived with my husband and friends. I said oh dear lord!!! Sweetie please do yourself, and woman kind as a whole a huge favor and RUN. RUN NOW, FAST AND FAR! She was shocked and said thank you before leaving just before me. Then got to watch her get to the table dude looked at me she grabbed her bag and said she needed to go. When asked why, she let him know her odd vibe had been confirmed and she was out. Sweet girl I hope you are well wherever you are, be glad you missed the whole firing squad here not just dodging the bullet.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 3 years ago
This was true 30 years ago when I was out partying. Except for the occasional boyfriend stealer. LOL
Kel 3 years ago
If you're ever in Vegas, check out the Golden Tiki women's room. The stall handles are bronze d***s, there is a speaker talking about "the history of the penis" and the wallpaper is covered in illustrations of fruit & nude people. You will giggle & make new friends in there literally every time you go in, I swear. It's why I love the place 🤣
Kel 3 years ago
So, of everything I've seen censored on BP, Penis is the one word allowed here? Lmao
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Amy Stone-Chandler 3 years ago
One reason I don't go to bars. Or drink booze. No. I don't want to be your friend. Your smashed and annoying. Lol
#16
- Protect each other. Don't care if it's your sister or a complete stranger.
- text your friends to check if they got home safe
- stay with them while their uber or taxi etc comes
- Check over that message she is going to send to the guy she likes to see if it sounds okay. Some communications require a group effort
- Sanitary items to all vaginal having humans who need.
Autistic apricot 3 years ago
( if this is offensive please tell me) I am not trans but whenever my friends talk about periods and how it sucks for girls, I say “it’s not just girls who can have periods and not all girls do” Again I’m really sorry if that was offensive
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Susana Manso-Donikian 3 years ago
I agree, all women should have access to sanitary products! Such a small but important item that is overlooked. Some Girls cannot go to school when they have their period due to the lack of them.
James G. Currie 3 years ago
Worked briefly at a all girls school...they had several bins on each floor in the main building for sanitary products for donation for low income and homeless women.
Stephanie Hutchinson 3 years ago
This guy prob had a paid for date he followed her into the bathroo. My lil 5'1 friend was in there said "youre not supposed to be in here" he GOUGED her face. I walked in and saw her vleeding and got into protect mode. Said WHO DID THIS?!! she went out and pointed to him. I walked up asked if he did that he said yea. I asked if he felt like a man? Asked if he felt good? Then asked if he wanted to know how she felt. Then i took my claws and dug into his face from eyes to chin. Made im bleed like a lion attack. Skin rolled up in my nails. He drew back and punched me. I didnt evem fall in 4im heeps but when i opened my eyes, every man in the bar had tackled him like he was holding a football. There was a dogpile. And my lil friend is in there throwing punches.
Awsomemom52 3 years ago
A young girl (maybe 14/15) was walking down the street well ahead of me (f,52). Followed by 2 men (around 30), who made lewd remarks about / to her and caught up with her more and more. You could tell she was tense... which the men found hilarious. I walked past them, linked my arm with the girl and gave her a quick smile. Then I looked back and gave the guys a "mother bear look". It quickly became very quiet behind us. The girl cried a little and said that she was slowly but surely panicking, because the guys were getting closer and closer.
Shaista Afridi 3 years ago
I go to an all girls school. We have a large box outside the nurse's office full of pads and tampons, even full packs that you can take home for free
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 3 years ago
So, what happens when her uber turns up and you are left alone?
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago
You go with her… Ubers aren’t all that safe either.
Load More Replies... #17
Do not....f**k your friends boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
Duncan Sunday 3 years ago
Okay but how does this work in a one horse town?
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Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
I had a friend ask me for permission to date my ex first; I said yes, they've been married 8 years now. :)
Mousey 3 years ago
I did the same! My best friend and my ex ended up happily married with 3 kids!
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Kel_how 3 years ago
Devil's advocate: I don't know that this one is always true. I think it depends on quite a few factors -- how close you and said friend are, the reason for the breakup, time from breakup to new relationship, etc. My mom and one of my close friends married their friends' ex and they're both still happily married.
Judes 3 years ago
Sure, don't f**k your friend's boyfriend, but if he's an ex then it really isn't any of her business. She doesn't own him for the rest of his life. Of course, if he was an arsehole to her, that's a different story.
propgamer XL 3 years ago
My sister ran off with a roommate, when she lived in a house with her bf and he had to move for a year for his study. She befriended the other girl there and she said, when she broke up with him: I'll go comfort him. They're all still best friends. They go on holidays together. They went to each other's weddings and just poked fun at it.
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Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
My "best friend" and my ex hooked up within days of him dumping me. No rationalization of "it depends" or "maybe" or "true love!" changes the fact that they were and are two selfish, insecure jerks who treated me worse than garbage. The good news is, they absolutely deserve each other, and I got to do the whole "living well is the best revenge" thing while they're stuck with each other's b******t.
Seanette Blaylock 3 years ago
Definitely not her current guy. Ex would depend on how long ago the breakup was and why, what kind of terms they're on with each other, etc.
Anna Tribe 3 years ago
How about my best friend having an affair with my husband behind my back? That sucked. Haven't had a best friend for 20 years now because I don't trust anyone well enough.
Brian Stanton 3 years ago
Mate poaching, be careful who you let around your partner
Load More Replies... Susana Manso-Donikian 3 years ago
NEVER! Such a trashy thing to do especially when there are so many fish in the sea.
Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago
I have a friend, we were really close but every time I brought her around my people, she would f**k the whole team & just recently I realized she didn't care about me bc some of those people, I liked a lot & it hurt me.
#18
Lipstick on their teeth, eyeliner in the corner of their eye, skirt tucked into pantyhose. You let them know without making a huge deal about it.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
The universal sign for lipstick on someone's teeth is to touch (or come close to) your own front teeth with your index finger while looking at the other woman. Every woman knows what mean.
Ansi 3 years ago (edited)
Yes. 👍 Eye contact and a light touch really does the trick. Once in a shopping mall I was walking towards this unknown girl with her zipper down. Her pants were very tight so it really showed. I locked eyes with her from afar, held it and did a small motion towards my own zipper. She got the hint right away and smiled a thanks. It's almost weird how well that works even with a stranger. EDITING for people that have a hard time with small hints. In this example we passed eachother in a rather big mall. If I was standing next to her in a queue I would have wispered something instead. Don't worry, girl code wont let you down either. We're here for you too. 👍❤️
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dido74 3 years ago
Years ago … was walking down the hall delivering mail to each secretary. Suddenly, a male co-worker came up behind me and put his coat over my shoulders. Seems I was walking down the hall with my skirt tucked in my pantyhose. Not one of those 10 women told me and they did nothing. I was so embarrassed but he was such a gentleman. Knew who my friends were after that!
Hagen Radcliffe 3 years ago
Hahaha. tRump going up the steps of the plane. Bwahaaaaa!
Load More Replies... Bee she/her 3 years ago
I once told my teacher her dress was tucked into her pants and she was refusing to speak English for a lesson so I had to translate it into Spanish. It was a mess
Emily 3 years ago
I've had to tell some strangers their skirt/dress is malfunctioning in the back. My strategy is to usually walk up beside/behind them and hand on the shoulder, when they look at me for getting too close I tell them quietly their skirt is tucked or something and then I walk directly behind her until she can adjust or get to a restroom
Ines Olabarria-Smith 3 years ago
Always say it and give the trick to make sure it doesn’t happen after you apply it. Lick your finger with your lips around it, every extra will stick to your finger.
Terry Butler 3 years ago
For "Your slip is showing," we used to quietly say, "It's snowing down south." Fun memory.
Emerson Blackwitt 3 years ago
Don't be a jerk about pointing things out and don't say anything loudly. Tell them secretly.
Shannon Juarez 3 years ago
I let a lady know about a huge run she had in her nylons on the back of her leg. She was very thankful since it was very noticeable from the back and she hadn't seen it yet.
#19
If you get breast cancer, let as many people as possible feel your lump so they know what they are looking for! Before my mastectomy, my breast made a lot of new friends—early detection can mean the difference between life and death.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Eh this one is a little weird for me tho it may just be my introverted self talking
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
I think the point here is not to have other women diagnose a lump, as it seems from a few comments here, but to help other women to recognize a risky lump, dimple or anomaly.
JPotts 3 years ago
When I had obgyn class, there was a breast model with different size lumps in it. Part of learning breast examination. Serious question, are women not taught self breast exam by their obgyn? I always thought the doctors would sit you down on your first visit and explain everything with a big flip chart and models. Or am I giving doctors too much credit?
Sandrapocalypse 3 years ago
I had a lump, I let all my close friends and family, but not strangers feel it. It's so they know what to "look" for in their own breast when they do an exam. Breast lumps are hard to find.
Anna Wiltshizzle 3 years ago
I had breast cancer and offered my few friends and female family to feel. No one took me up on it, I was surprised. Useful info!
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
And even if you don't have breast cancer, remind your friends to do checkups anyway! All genders can get breast cancer, all that matters is the fact that you have nipples.
Kel_how 3 years ago
Perhaps doctors should have examples to feel in their offices. I'm not letting just anyone touch my body, but it is incredibly important to know what to feel for.
Lazy Panda (she/her/hers) 3 years ago
They do have medical models for this, I remember trying one at a health fair in college and it was informative to know what you might be looking for.
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Party Poison (They/Them) 3 years ago
Examining your own breasts every few weeks for lumps is also very important for AMAB transfem people and trans girls to know. If you have breast tissue, you also have the same chance to get breast cancer.
Elizabeth Rose 3 years ago
men can get breast cancer too. my boyfriend has moobs and I'm constantly telling him he needs to check them frequently. It's one of many problems obesity can cause. it's important we tell everyone on the gender spectrum no matter where you fall, bc no one is immune.
Load More Replies... Hill Branda 3 years ago
Annnd.......NO. You go to a few medical people who are trained in detecting cancer.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
This is strange to me; I understand what you're saying, but it could be a really difficult conversation.
#20
Human wall any girl if the only option is to pee in public
Emma Starr 3 years ago
Yeah, I was on a trip to Poland with a school group and there were no places to go at all...we found a field that seemed to have cover. Nope. Caught pants down peeing on the ground in Poland.
Omi bub 3 years ago
When I went to carnival in Rio the girls took umbrellas so that they could put it up for some extra cover. Kinda genius!
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AAPnonraeba 3 years ago
Never gape if you spot someone peeing in the "wild" they wouldn't do it if they didn't have too.
Leesha Coons 3 years ago
I was at a country concert one summer, and of course the ladies bathroom line was a mile long. While the mens line only had a few people. I spotted a group of girls in the mens line, thought WTH and joined them. We all formed a wall around each girl as she took turns squatting over a urinal bc the wait time for the stalls was too long. We were in and out in no time flat! The guys in line couldn’t believe what they were seeing 😂🤣
Brand New Day 3 years ago
I was at a concert and the line was OOOOBER long. I jumped behind a tent to pee and ran smack into another girl squatting to do the same. She looked panicked! I said "honey I just wanna pee too! Scoot over, oh..and we're friends now!"
Brand New Day 3 years ago
Cuz when your butts out and rubbing elbows with a stranger, peeing behind a tent...you gotta be friends!.
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Mountainslady1 3 years ago
I have no problem peeing outside, long as I have something I can pee behind where no one can see me
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
Always. Ditto for bathrooms. I'll stand watch for you, you stand for me. Big events are terrible. Idk why they don't realize that women need more time so we need more stalls.
#21
if friend drinks too much and starts to puke, always hold her hair back for her
ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
or tie it up. that brings me to another rule: you ALWAYS lend or give hair ties when another girl asks for one! (this is not just for girls of course)
TheTurbulentAdvocate 3 years ago
Yess! I used to have at least one hair tie with me even after I cut my hair short. Gave away my last one quite some time ago tho. Seems it's time to buy new ones.
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Jill Hojnacki 3 years ago
While I truly appreciate this one, I’d have a problem putting it into action. I’m a sympathetic vomiter. I even have a problem watching pets do it. If I stuck around to help, she’d have to move over. Sorry.
Awsomemom52 3 years ago (edited)
I was helping a woman I only knew by sight who was really wasted and throwing up. She ruined my shoes, which didn't really bother me. They were cheap shoes that were also incredibly uncomfortable. She was so upset and cried (which was probably mainly due to the alcohol😂). Two weeks later I went back to the same club where all this happened... where she found me and gave me money to replace the shoes. I took the money and that was it. We never spoke to each other or even greeted each other when we crossed paths.
#22
If your friend gets back with her s***ty ex you always support your friend but you also tell her the truth and say if the relationship is toxic.
Blarrg 3 years ago
I always told my daughters that rule 1 is "Don't date jerks." Rule 2 is that you'll know he's a jerk if your friends and family tell you he's a jerk. You'll often be the last to realize it.
Blackstone 3 years ago (edited)
This should be to taught to everyone. Gaslighting is real but relies on the douchebag isolating you from other voices. We need to teach our kids this early and often, and friends and family need to be sure to always speak up. It needs to become very uncool for someone to not listen to their besties (or family if they are usually trustworthy) when they bring up concerns.
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Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Best advice I heard: Always remind them of things THEY said or had issues with. Do not add more to it. Instead of saying "they're a b****" say "remember when they said and did X, Y, and Z and it made you feel horrible?" Always repeat the things, don't create new insults. It'll only hurt your relationship with your friend.
Charles Williams 3 years ago
What if she was the reason why it was toxic? Are you still going to tell the truth? And, are you going to tell him the truth as well?
Katie O'Brien 3 years ago
A guy(20m) that I(33f) see as my little brother recently had a girl ghost him and he even said ‘if she comes back, I’ll probably take her back, I still love her’ and he said he wouldn’t tell me incase she hurts him again. He said he was afraid I’d say ‘I told you so’ like everyone else and make fun of him. I looked at him dead in the eyes and assured him ‘I’ll never do that. We can’t control who we love, and we all make the wrong decisions in our lives. If she hurts you, I will be there to comfort you and tell you you’re not alone. I’d never pick on you for it.’
Emerson Blackwitt 3 years ago
Yes. I'm completely honest with my friends. If the guys a cheater, I tell her.
#23
This one especially applies to college girls. If you're at a party and you see a girl doing something she might regret the next day due to drinking WAY too much, you go over there and make sure shes okay.
ohjojo (you/your's) 3 years ago
And if you have a brother in college, you let them know how to be a man means never ever taking advantage of a drunk girl.
voice of reason 3 years ago
And help her home. Dont trust the guys who'll say "I'll make sure she gets home".
WordWeaver 3 years ago
Of course, but if only I had known then what I know NOW! lol And had had the sense.
#24
You always pretend that you know each other when a guy is being a jerk and you (or they) need a way out of a conversation.
BonnyDK 3 years ago
I had a high school friend help me out this way. There was a tall guy in one of my classes that was hitting on me in Jr. college. Would not leave me alone. Followed me across campus. Kept asking me out and I kept turning him down. He was getting particularly aggressive when I turned a corner and my friend from HS grabbed me close and kissed me well! Acted like he was my boyfriend. The guy had been saying I wouldn't date him cause he was black. My high school friend was black. The guy left in shock and did not bother me again. My friend told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. Very thankful he was there when I needed him.
Kids Krueger 3 years ago
That's good, but I hope you were cool with that. Good friend tho!
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Ambry Petersen 3 years ago
Always safety in numbers. Thankfully I usually didn't have that problem, I had a weight lifting older brother and football, wrestling cousins. Few guys would have dared mess with me. While great for keeping bullies at bay it made getting a date more of a challenge lol.
Debbie Oates 3 years ago
My BFF & I would go dancing 3x a week, married with kids. When a man continues to hit on one of us she would wrap herself around me and say "you have to ask my gf. I'm 6' she's 5'3".Shed cuddle up under my arm and I'd twirl her hair and play the mean lesbian. If I didn't get mean the guy thought. Woo wee 2 girls. Most men are scared of me bc of my height. I've done this with other ladies. Had a young 12yo girl grab my arm & call me Mom.. I played right along till mom showed. I was thanked profusely. We have to help each other out.. friend or foe or stranger.
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
I do that for my brothers & male buds as well so they don't have to resort to bring outright rude.
Lee Kerr 3 years ago
I’ve had a couple of male friends use me as a human shield when they’ve felt other women are getting too friendly.
Load More Replies... Emerson Blackwitt 3 years ago
Yes. I am never alone, always with friends. I'll take them to my friends and play it off like we haven't seen them recently.
#25
Console the crying one
flutterbyy 3 years ago
Or offer them water (I'm really awkward at consoling people, so offering water seems to do the trick).
Bored Retsuko 3 years ago
You can also just ask if there's anything you can do for them? (Usually the answer is no thanks, but the fact that you asked makes the person feel a bit better)
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Tashiku Brock 3 years ago
Once I was sitting next to a young woman on the train and noticed she was quietly crying. I whispered "Do you need a hug?" She nodded "yes" and I hugged her tight. She thanked me and got off the train at the next stop. Another passenger asked what I said to her. I explained and told her sometimes you don't need to pry but you can always give support. Made my day.
Leslie Cookietown 3 years ago
Any form of communication is cool. They'd appreciate it; just knowing that you care and don't know exactly what to say!! 🤗
Tracey Kneasel 3 years ago
When I am upset in public I will never ask for consolation. I also know I would never turn it down. Does not happen often or easy so if I am crying something serious is going on.
Mine Truly 3 years ago
Once, I walked into the only bathroom, really needing to pee, and a drunk girl was sitting on the floor crying. I say there and consoled her for 15 minutes, desperately trying to hold it in, until her mood improved enough that I felt comfortable asking her to let me and the toilet have some alone time.
#26
if you're wearing a hair tie on your wrist and someone asks for a hair tie, you give it to them (and accept that you likely will never see it again)
Disgruntled Pelican 3 years ago
I always carry extra hair ties, tampons/pads, ibuprofen/tylenol, and a nail kit. You never know when someone will need it!
Kristyn Ratigan 3 years ago
My bag has always been a treasure trove of pens, tampons, pads,extra Bobbie pins, unused hair ties,a nail file and a few small prepackaged snacks. You never know who may need this for whatever reason! I used to carry a few safety pins that have helped people out of a clothing mishap. Everyone calls it my brick bag or mommy bag because it has so much randomness!
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Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
I always carry spare safety pins for a popped button, a ripped hem, etc. It can be a lifesaver for your friend or co-workers.
Amanda Wallace 3 years ago
I never take any hair accessory or hat from a stranger. It's how I got lice once from a scrunchie.
Teampandas GF 3 years ago
Once met a bald dad and his young daughter at the public swimming pool. She had hair to the hips, he had no clue and she was to shy to ask. I volunteered. I seemed to realize that it was his job to remember (for the next time)
#27
Also added to sanitary products, pain killers!! If you got em handy, help a b***h out!
What's In Your Head? 3 years ago (edited)
You know, those actually look like fantastic painkillers. I could definitely use a dose of stars, colours and glitter (in other words, new life energy!) now and then. If only it'd work that way.
Juachelle Echols 3 years ago
I’ve always shared until my trifling co workers started coming to me weekly for painkillers, bottles of water, bandaids, phone charger, gum, feminine products or whatever because I am an adult who comes to work prepared for anything. They were taking advantage of my kindness so I stopped. They would expect me to unplug my phone and give them the charger and then id have to hunt them down to get it back! If they were busy working all day their devices would be charged. We are teachers. I use mine for playing music for my students or playing phonics videos on YouTube during literacy development because my director refuses to buy the electronics we require for the classroom. The other teachers run their batteries down from having personal conversations or watching Netflix or Lifetime movies while on the clock.
Mimi M 3 years ago
I freely offer drugs and always carry them. You can really rescue someone (man or woman) just with two ibuprophen.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
Somehow, the men in my workspace always forget that I always, always, ALWAYS have painkillers with me (multiple kinds, too)
Iris Mustang 3 years ago
We weren’t allowed to carry otc painkillers in school but every female had something because you never know when you’d need it. A teacher once asked if anyone had anything for a headache. We all looked a little uncertain what to say. She goes “I have a killer headache, please” and a dozen hands shot up. even if she did end up ratting us out, we were still willing to help. (No ratting. She ended up being the teacher who understood teenagers needed more respect and trust, let us be ourselves in her class)
Cairo Iceis 3 years ago
I carry all products plus the Midol and the other one. I don't even have my period anymore, but I do have children and other female friends.
Karen Scheltema 3 years ago
You need to be careful about this one. Hopefully the person asking you is making a sound medical request. However, there could be an underlying serious medical issue. If that's the case and the medicine that you gave them proves harmful/fatal you could be sued for wrongful death. I'm not trying to discourage people from being nice but it's important to remember that you're not their doctor. For all you know, they may have contraindications that they're not aware of. My qualifications - pharmacist's mother.
#28
Stupid or not, the original Girl Code is that once you have any sort of sexual/romantic link to a guy (even just saying you like him) he is 100% off-limits to all friends.
(This rule is more nuanced when the object of desire is another woman.)
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
Unless it's a celebrity crush then by all means gush over the cuteness together
aj B 3 years ago
Ahh but if the opportunity arises for more then speculation/theoretical hookups what do the rules become then?
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Hala Nasser 3 years ago
I don't understand why not? Like you don't choose who you fall in love with. This person is not a property of anyone , no cheating for sure like after their story is finished
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Nuanced my a*s, if you are attracted to a person then they are off-limits for your friends.
Dawn Birdsong Olmsted 3 years ago
Why would the situation be different if the object of desire is female?
James Hamaker 3 years ago
I'm thinking, that is part of how society views how women are treating by others.
Load More Replies... Sparkle_Queen 3 years ago
My ex friend knew my crush, had a different crush, then started dating MY crush for some reason and broke my heart 😔
Deanna Crichley 3 years ago
There was a guy dating one of my friends, or who I thought was a friend. She was dating about 3 guys at the time, and he just was 't interested in her. They broke up. It actually was a while, but the guy was in my circle of friends, so we saw each other often, and slowly fell in intense like. I felt like I shouldn't date him in spite of my feelings, and another friend set me straight. She said K is dating so many guys we know, that you won't be able to date anyone you know. And she said K isn't thinking about you at all. Why are you thinking about her? And then she said, do you want to be happy? I did.
Load More Replies... DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
No, some girls/women have a crush on everybody. This doesn’t give them some sort of blanket “first dibs”. If you’re talking about your absolute best friend and her main crush, that’s different of course.
Anne Shirley 3 years ago
I think this is a really stupid one but I know it's exists. One time a friend mentioned to me that she liked a guy at church. I liked him too, but just didn't announce it because I prefer to keep my feelings private. When he asked me out, and I went out with him , she was really angry at me. I don't think that was fair or right.
A Thousand Years Wide 3 years ago
My sister's best friend became roommates with her ex and didn't out right tell her until he was completely moved in. I have no idea how that friendship survived that. My sister was livid!
#29
The 5-minute rule. If it can be fixed in 5 minutes or less tell her! If it can't (bloat situation etc..) then there's no need to say anything because it will literally only make her feel bad.
ace axolotl (she/her) 3 years ago
basically, here's what you can tell her: lipstick on teeth, food stuck in teeth, period stain, small makeup issues, a little knot in the hair etc. here's what you can't: outfit not great, tangled hair, bloated, etc.
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Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
I wish more people knew this. I've had someone point out a cavity on one of my front teeth and the roots of my hair growing out (in need of a dye job). Like, no, I can't just excuse myself and go fill the cavity myself in the bathroom or do a root touch up out in public. It makes you very self-conscious and even embarrassed.
WordWeaver 3 years ago
Bloat can be when your female body swells up with water because of period or maybe pregnancy.
MJ 3 years ago (edited)
Sis-in-law made a comment one day: “You’re forehead is breaking out again.” Thank you for telling me; totally didnt notice it when i looked in the mirror this morning 😒. Also, thank you for reminding me that my recurring oily skin issue is obvious to the world. My self confidence just dropped ten points.
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
A bloated tummy, time-of-the-month-outbreak , bad hair cut or dye job, etc. We already know all about our flaws- no need to let us know again, thank you.
DDmaybeandor 3 years ago
Except, as pointed out before, period stain. You’ve got to tell her or her friend even if it can’t be “fixed” right now because you could be saving her from it getting worse.
Heather Glomb 3 years ago
I'd like to add: if you're not willing to put in effort to help them fix it, don't point it out.
WordWeaver 3 years ago
And you just feel ... blehhh. Someone telling you just makes you feel worse.
Amy Stone-Chandler 3 years ago
I think I'm missing something here? I'm almost 46 and have no clue what this actually means. I'm not going to watch anyone that's my friend struggle with something. Mostly because 1. I can likely help 2. It feels good to help people I care about. 3. I'm OCD
#30
There is an almost imperceptible line between intrusive prurience and interest in the sex lives of your friends that's defined by their inclination to share rather than you inquiring or making insinuations. Many friends will discuss sex candidly, others will use discretion, and some will resent the intrusion; always wait to be confided in rather than commit an indiscretion.
There are weird assumptions about the 'sisterhood' that we talk about penis sizes etc without reserve. This is untrue.
WordWeaver 3 years ago
Women have NO boundaries when it comes to health issues, but only when talking amongst women. Talking about men? Not so much.
Dylan Armstrong 3 years ago
Largely because we are more likely to get life saving info from our friends (or complete strangers) than our own doctor. Medical gaslighting (institutional misogyny) kills.
Load More Replies... Munchkin 3 years ago
The kindest thing I experienced was at the hospital. I'd just come out of an appointment with the neurologist who'd informed me further tests were required on me. I left the room with my mum, sat at the nearest bench and just started sobbing. A random Woman walked passed, turned on her heels and knelt down. Held my hand, gave me a pack of tissues and said whatever I was going through, it was going to be ok. And you know what, thankfully it was.
Jen Cook 3 years ago
There was once a girl in my building crying on the stairs. I never exchanged more than a friendly hello prior. I brought her tissues and a cozy lap blanket and sat with her. Told her I would listen as long as she needed or she didn't have to utter a word but I say with her and held her hand. There was a lonely in her that was palpable. Told her to knock on my door any time, day or night and she would have a no questions asked comfy spot with a friend as often as needed. Made sure she knew I'd never say a word to anyone. The greatest day was when she finally kicked out the guy who took pleasure in making her cry.
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Roos Dillema 3 years ago
Ok... for this one I need a dictionary. imperceptible intrusive inclination... ???? What is this all about?
Sareaesque 3 years ago
This can be a tricky one. I've never gone into details or shared anything I thought would embarrass my partner, but these can be really helpful conversations to have. They can help to identify potential health concerns, what is and is not healthy in a relationship, or inspire ways someone could improve their intimacy with their partner they might not have thought of before.
Sarah Moeding 3 years ago
I have never had a friend male or otherwise that we don't openly discuss sex with.
Jaybird3939 3 years ago
Having a personal conversation on speakerphone. I don't really need to hear about your ex's sh*tty behavior.
#31
When bra straps are on the loose you help adjusting them. Only question asked is how far up (or down) they prefer.
Edit: there was some confusement about consent and I think it great people think about that! But in this scenario girls usually come to you asking if you can help so consent is given. Keep up the thinking and helping!
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
Also, if your girlfriend comes to you saying that her bra's loose and biting her lip, help her adjust her bra and give her some lip balm! Help her out!
WordWeaver 3 years ago
Wouldn't it be better if bras fastened at the front? Mind you, have never regretted going for genie bras. And as for underwire - torture!
WordWeaver 3 years ago
And labels sticking up. A lot of us cut those off. And those weird loops attached to shoulders in clothing and which pop out around the neckline.
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
Supposed to be more unobtrusive. What it is is stupid to literally have to take your top off & get halfway out just to tighten a stupid strap. I hate bras!
#32
If another female asks if they look fat the answer is always "no" followed by a compliment.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I always respond with "Adherence to beauty standards is not the rent you owe to enjoy life."
smugdruggler 3 years ago
I would probably assume that they were asking "do I look fat IN THIS". So more of a clothing question than a body question. I would answer honestly.
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
BC we are insecure bc of the ones who say "my, gained a few, have you?" Just checking.
#33
Much like a code among smokers (you can ask anyone smoking to bum one) there are no barriers among complete strangers if she likes your dress/glasses/haircut/etc. You receive the compliment with delight and immediately give details as to how to acquire the same. Then you move on again like the total strangers that you are.
I had a woman just ask me once how I wash my hair (I have curly hair, so it's a big thing to know your "routine") and I spend 10 minutes speaking to a complete stranger on the streets of DC like she was my BFF about co-washing, hair twisting, hair products, and all that jazz.
(Once caveat to this is that, if there is a significant age difference between the compliment giver - being the older one - and the receiver, then there is a chance it might not be received well, it's a fine line.)
Melissa Johnson 3 years ago
Older women are sometimes more sensitive when it comes to feedback on their appearance. Especially since, most likely, they have their own routine that they like and they were just showing admiration.
Load More Replies... Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
As an older person (62),l 💖 gettin compliments from younger people (old ones, too!)
#34
Insult the bad ex when she's talking about him. I get it ok, sometimes the girl might be in the wrong too. But when consoling your girlfriend, it helps to insult their ex boyfriend and call them an idiot for not noticing nor appreciating how amazing she is. Her: "My boyfriend just dumped me over a text.*sniffle*" Me: "WTF. WHAT A D******D. I WILL FIGHT HIM." [Aaaaaaand then it gets weird when they get back together again. Sigh.]
Joely King 3 years ago
Until they get back together with them, then you're the bad guy and get avoided! Best to be understanding, supportive and neutral in my experience
Melissa Johnson 3 years ago
Hm...I take issue with this. I will support her in a neutral "I'm here to listen." way. But if I don't actually know him, or I don't think he was wrong, I will nod and respond in understanding, but non-committal ways.
Ange Marsden 3 years ago
This is a really bad idea because of they get back together with that person you've made it super awkward by saying lots of mean things about them...focus on them no the person they broke up with
Nicky Hands 3 years ago
Made this mistake with my daughter 😬 she came crying to me about him and that she’s going to break up with him...I tell her my true feelings about him, don’t trust him, not sure I like him, glad that she’s breaking up with him! They stay together n now I have to backtrack all the s**t I said about him 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
Gladys Hayes Southerland 3 years ago
Just say, "um hmm." And other agreeable noises that show you care (even tho this is the x time) but don't commit you .
Roxy Eastland 3 years ago
Exactly! My life lesson is never directly insult someone's partner or ex! People do get back together and if they make it work for decades that's your friendship tainted. *Ask* them how they feel. Sympathise with how they feel. You can comment on the behaviour - "dumping you by text is low behaviour' because if they get back together you can directly ask 'did you sort out the dumping by text thing, then?', clear the air, and move on. But if you insult them you've possibly drawn a line under that friendship.
What do you think ?
Sky Render 3 years ago (edited)
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
Fiona Parky 3 years ago
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
Mimi M 3 years ago
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Kim Vargas 3 years ago
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Christopher Metzinger 3 years ago
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
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AsexualShrimp 3 years ago
This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
Kosmap Gul 3 years ago
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Christopher Metzinger 3 years ago
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... Christine Brennan 3 years ago
She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Sky Render 3 years ago (edited)
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
Fiona Parky 3 years ago
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
Mimi M 3 years ago
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Kim Vargas 3 years ago
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
Christopher Metzinger 3 years ago
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies... AsexualShrimp 3 years ago
This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
Kosmap Gul 3 years ago
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
Unnamed Hooman 3 years ago
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Christopher Metzinger 3 years ago
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... Christine Brennan 3 years ago
She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
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