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What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "satanism"? Is it the band Rammstein? A group of black-clothed youths gathering at the cemetery at the dawn of light? Or maybe it's a witch, throwing animals into a pot to make a possession potion?
The 1980s Satanic Panic saw Christian fundamentalists push the idea that evil cults were systematically abusing children in rituals and committing widespread murder, and successfully convince the general public through sensational news coverage.
While religion can be a beautiful thing, those Christian groups typically misrepresented the Church's beliefs and practices in order to fabricate a real-world villain behind the conspiracy for the media. And we can still see leftovers from this time.
They're especially evident in a recent Reddit post where the user Dreammare56 asked others, "What's the stupidest thing [you've] ever seen a religious person call 'satanic'?"
From Coca-Cola to a microscope, here are some of the most ridiculous answers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The same teacher who taught abstinence only sex-ED class took away my deck of Magic cards because they were satanic.
How am i supposed to keep my virginity without my Magic cards!?
v 3 years ago
Are you sure it didn't feel like the devil running a hot poker up your nose?
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martin734 3 years ago
Does anyone else find it ironic that most places that teach abstinence only sex-ed are members of a religion that is based around an instance of abstinence not being an effective form of birth control?
and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 2 years ago (edited)
LMAO oh my GOD that’s true!! Edit: sorry didn’t realize how old this was
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Allen Lavine 3 years ago
You want me to join a club with chess as in girls chess now I don't believe in god
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Michael Sanders 3 years ago (edited)
Ok I’m confused. So did BP just put a pic of regular playing cards and the cards in question are magic the gathering or something, or did the teacher think playing cards were satanic? Cuz that would really clear up why Christians keep bailing on my poker night.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 3 years ago
Teacher thought specialty cards that you perform magic tricks with were satanic. That's my thought.
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Tell him you had them cursed so that if someone took them off you without your permission bad luck falls on them, and it gets worse the longer they keep them. Also, if you don't have the cards to play with then you will just have to play with yourself and hope you don't go blind
RELATED:
#2
Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny s**t.
MarmotArchivist 3 years ago
A satanic magpie, who acquired the power of human speach through Satan.
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cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Just say, "If god created the earth and rocks are of the earth, then god created the rocks. Are you saying God is satanic?"
Raven Sheridan 3 years ago
These so called "Christians" should blame God then. I mean, he created those crystals. So by their logic, God is satanic? 🤨
Jodagoatisagoat 3 years ago
It's just rock collecting! Why would you think that it is satanic?! If OP loves rock collecting, let them collect rocks!
iblowsheep 3 years ago
That's the oft omitted 11th commandment "Thou Shalt not covet shiny s**t!"
Lyle Laylin 3 years ago
Goldstone isn't a crystal, or a stone. It's artificial - glass
Load More Replies...Dreammare56 said the thought of making this post was quite a spontaneous one. "I was watching TV and the question came into my head when I saw something about the Satanic Panic," the Redditor told Bored Panda.
It was a time when preachers like Jerry Falwell and his Moral Majority, founded in 1979, gained prominence across the country, passing along a literal fire-and-brimstone style of Christianity.
Anti-occult crusaders like Pat Pulling, who believed her son's death by suicide was actually the result of a Dungeons and Dragons curse, campaigned against role-playing games as something dangerous and demonic, backed by occult fearmongering from Chick and his Chick Tracts.
#3
Being left handed...a church I visited wouldn't let me play music bc of it.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
"There are none so blind as those who will not see.” –attributed to John Heywood, 1546
Sue Lynn Chan 3 years ago (edited)
Any left handed people out there? Because I want to make a club .
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Tell 'em you masturbate to pictures of them with your left hand while chanting the lords prayer backwards
Iampenny 3 years ago
Thank God this belief has mostly vanished, my dad was left -handed (as am I) he was hit and punished in school as a child for writing with his left hand, so glad I didn't have to go through that.
May 3 years ago
In my family it was my Grandmother who was made to use her right hand in the 30s (?) my dad is left handed too, but wasn't made to switch (50s)
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Selina Ali 3 years ago
Yes! And me! I was told that it was filthy to write with your left hand. If left hands are so filthy why are you born with it? Ps. I’m Muslim
May 3 years ago
I'm not muslim, but even I know why the left hand is traditionally considered to be dirty in muslim cultures
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Ogre Juan Canolli 3 years ago
Left Side Is Controlled By The Opposite Side Of Brain. ERGO Only Lefties Are In Their Right Minds
#4
I was maybe 8 years old at most. Evangelical church my parents forced us to attend convinced my family that the following were satanic: Disney, dragons, music that wasn’t for God, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, all gaming consoles. Basically anything enjoyable for a kid. My mom preceded to cut the tapes from our original cassette Disney collection. PlayStation was taken apart since the chip had the number “666” engraved in it. (It did not.) they tried driving over my gameboy with a truck and it didn’t break surprisingly. Then a lady from church flipped it open and she twisted it and bam there went my gameboy. Funny thing is the following week both her kids got gameboys. To this day I’m still upset about that.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
NEVER trust a religion that wants you to either give up, hand over or destroy your personal belongings
Monday 3 years ago
There was a rumor that started floating around our primary school that only pokemon with red eyes were evil since the devil could look through their eyes and possess you. I spent way too long staring at my Ponyta tazo trying to see if it would work...
Whodathunkit 3 years ago
Okay, I was a big church goer at one point, but I didn't often agree with the teachings. Parents wouldn't allow their kids to celebrate Halloween. Pokémon was bad. Certain music and books and clothing. My thing was, if God is so big and powerful, why are you so scared of all this stuff??? Never made sense to me EXCEPT that maybe the church was trying to exert control.
Shnookumpie 3 years ago
Whoa..... that was..... wow.... cruel....... I'm very upset on your behalf. I'm imagining my son when he was 8 and if someone destroyed his most beloved treasures. Breaks my heart you suffered that.
#5
Washing machine. Apparently if you watched the swirling motion for too long, you would get hypnotized and the devil could enter your head. So be warned.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
I had a girlfriend who used to like sitting on the washing machine during certain cycles. Is that safe from the devil?
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago
I've heard that female masterbation and orgasm can open a portal to hell so.
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VikingAbroad 3 years ago
My cat likes to watch the washing machine. This may be the explanation...
Rodney Bowie 3 years ago
LOL!! "Enter your head" "Hey Satan, can't you just, like, enter someone's head cuz you're a spirit and all that?" "Yeah, but they gotta be dizzy first."
Do_You_Think_I_Give_A_Tortilla 3 years ago
Y’all need to listen up that is some serious s**t /s
Nothing made sense. But as Vox pointed out, even though the most damaging effects of Satanic Panic were felt within the legal system, there were broader ramifications, too — and many of them linger today.
Fans of Dungeons and Dragons and other allegedly "occult" games were demonized for years. Strange conspiracy theories flourished, including rumors of subliminal messages in rock music, a conspiracy about Procter & Gamble that won the company a $19.25 million settlement, the creepy clown hoax of 2016, and concern over one guy’s weird Airbnb decor.
"In my opinion, these people and their absurd claims do kinda bring down the reputation of religion as a whole, especially Christianity," Dreammare56 said.
#6
Back in the 90's my family had a home pc. We didn't have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good old fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious.
So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn't get in trouble ever. So this isn't something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect.
I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. "Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant" “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn't get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs.
iblowsheep 3 years ago (edited)
Her is a good example, assuming it;s true, of the type of distress these people are put through as a result of the f****d up s**t they believe. They do not exist in a vacuum. Someone, surely her parents, drubbed this crap into this woman's head at an early age. Over the years it grew and festered and was perpetuated by other like-minded and misguided victims, and it ultimately caused her to be distraught over such a ludicrous thing. If you do not see that this is abuse, then you are part of the problem.
John Baker 3 years ago
And yet Bible-thumpers get offended if you say religion is a mental illness...
Lulu Lemons 3 years ago
I think anyone who has a religion would be upset at being told that
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Rebecca Trinkner 3 years ago
That's hilarious. Also what is a guy like that doing married to a religious nut job like that?
#7
Tampons.
I'm not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90's, there was a "God Botherer" protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman.
Marianne 3 years ago
I don't know who needs to hear this, but inserting a tampon is not giving us pleasure. Like not at all.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Ask her if it confused her after her first tampon made her climax instead of her dad
Vicky Z 3 years ago
It's the same people that think that we enjoy pushing a tampon inside us or that we have fun during an ob appointment🙄
CatWoman312 3 years ago
So according to her we should just bleed freely onto our clothes? Genius solution.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
So you're supposed to just wrap yourself in old rags? Or, did she think you should be in a tent outside the city?
#8
So many things, but this one’s my favorite. Ready? Paleontologists. The idea is that the dinosaurs never actually existed and paleontologists just plant the fossils and bones to steer people away from “The Truth”. Clearly the work of the devil! Eek! My eyes rolled so far back in my head they almost got stuck.
Angela Horak 3 years ago
Yes! My parents' church also taught that scientists sneak around in the dead of night planting fake bones in the ground to try to stop people from going to heaven.
Strawberry Moofin 3 years ago
My family is christian and as a kid I was fascinated with dinosaurs and fossils. My mom even encouraged me to learn more about them and would take me to museums often. I don't get why people can't accept that dinosaurs were real smh
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Vicky Z 3 years ago (edited)
To be honest i never really liked Ross! He was my least favourite 😅😅😅
CatWoman312 3 years ago
Some of those bones are very bulky and heavy. How do they explain that?
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
Stars and blackholes are just optical illusions/s
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An injured bat. The person I knew smashed the poor thing to death because it was "satanic." F**king awful.
Casey Burns 3 years ago
Hey hey hey. You can't go around smashing bat smashers. Then every bat smasher would be smashed with a bat.
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Raven Sheridan 3 years ago (edited)
So they murdered one of God's creatures? Not very Christian. Rest In Peace, little bat. 😔🦇
ColdBlooded 3 years ago
*opens tradoor* secret 24 carat gold underground apartment under church
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Curran Evans 3 years ago
Lame!! Bats are cool! They eat the real satanic blood sucking beasts....mosquitoes!
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Amazing how all of this crap originates from a place of fear and ignorance. If there was a god, it would be face-palming so damn hard.
M. A. McKnight 🇺🇦 3 years ago
May that person spend Eternity being bitten by the thousands of insects that bat would have eaten!
Robert T 3 years ago
That's a criminal offence. Report them to the Police, or at least the RSPCA (or your local equivalent).
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
You should have called some kind of animal control, as bats are a protected species in most places
#10
My father was a Baptist pastor and had no issue with me playing D&D (3.5 at the time). When he married my step mother, she was a religious zealot and kept at my dad to stop me. One day I came home from school and they were both sitting in the living room and had all my D&D books in a plastic bag, SM having convinced my father they should trash them. I challenged them saying, how could they know they were bad. SM pulled out the players handbook and started reading the description of the cleric spell Chant. "If two clerics of the same religion are chanting, the bonuses are whatever (she didn't know the word cumulative)". I turned to my dad and said, how can you say these are bad if you don't even know what the words mean. He agreed and gave me my books back. TL,DR: My step mother's limited vocabulary saved my D&D books
John Baker 3 years ago
Or not married her in the first place. There had to have been red flags.
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KiwiBubbles 3 years ago
My church and my pastor always taught that things like D&D, Harry Potter, all that stuff to do with magic and spells are TOTALLY FINE AND SAFE for Christians as long as you don't start trying to actually really cast spells like a witchcraft Wicca type thing. I really want to get into D&D actually, it just seems so complicated and intimidating to learn!
Hazel Sage 3 years ago
A lot of game stores host gaming nights, with all kinds of different games being played. Several of the stores in my area host “D&D for beginners” games, where a veteran DM teaches you how the system works, how to build a character, what all the dice mean, etc., and then runs a simple scenario. That’s how I learned, and it was awesome! I’ll spare you the anecdotes, but I do highly recommend that you visit/look up game stores in your area, and see if they have similar events.
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Nunya Bus 3 years ago
I never got any of this. Trust me if any of this stuff (D&D, MAGIC cards, Harry Potter, etc) could actually produce demons to do my will and give me the power to summon stuff, set stuff on the fire etc, trust me I'd be all over that.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Yeah, most Christian's get the concept of fiction! In fact I went to a church service labelled 'Church of the latter day geek' :)
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Zach Heimann 1 year ago
I think no one understands DnD until playing it. I’ve been reading a DnD guidebook for a month and I still have no f*****g clue how it works
#11
Sporks.
I once heard someone say, "The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Are forks masculine because they have three prongs? Should we have three prongs? I only have one prong....
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Wait...my forks have four prongs. What does THAT mean? Ghosts? Zombies?? Devils?? I can spear MORE food? Aaagh! Anarchy! End times!
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Marla 3 years ago
Sporks are just confused. Remember, you won't find any sporks in nature. But more importantly, I fear for the spoons that have to share the same slots in the utensil drawers as sporks. The teaspoons in particular are liable to get confused and think that this sort of thing is normal and natural.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
Worse, the sporks may corrupt those spoons and turn them gay. Err...sporky.
Load More Replies... LH25 3 years ago
Same ones who claimed that that one Teletubbie was promoting homosexuality
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Casey Burns 3 years ago
Actually this is pretty funny. Because depending on which language your speaking defines the gender of your utensils.
Danielle Ocasio Fast 3 years ago
On first read I thought it said the spork is the devil's uterus 🤣
Historyharlot93 3 years ago
This is a true fact: back in the 1400s, forks were becoming popular with European nobles and kings. Until then folks just used spoons and knives to eat. Many leaders saw forks as a dangerous fad and outlawed them. They had 2 tines back then, and the Pope himself called them the Devil’s Pitchfork. Which proves that even back then, some people had too much time on their hands so they fought about trivial things.
#12
I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs.
Edit: my wife said her cousins weren't allowed to eat candy on Halloween when they were kids because their mom didn't want to celebrate the "devils birthday".
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
That's rich coming from a religion that drinks the blood of Christ and eats the body of Christ
Phill Healey 3 years ago
Halloween literally is a religious event. Halloween or Hallowe'en (a contraction of "All Hallows' evening"), less commonly known as Allhalloween, All Hallows' Eve, or All Saints' Eve,[ is a celebration observed in many countries on 31 October, the eve of the Western Christian feast of All Hallows' Day. It begins the observance of Allhallowtide,the time in the liturgical year dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows), martyrs, and all the departed.
BobTheDeathGripper 3 years ago
Which in turn is based on the pagan festival of Samhain where the veil between life and death is thin and you can communicate with the departed.
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Dre Mosley 3 years ago
I saw a truck on the highway once that read, "Halloween is Hell's Christmas."
Na Schi 3 years ago
Probably those morons watched "Nightmare before Christmas" to many times and took it literally.
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InvaderZim 3 years ago
My uncle who is a flatearther, anti vaxer, methhead, and Christian, doesn’t let his kids celebrate Halloween because if the devils birthday thing
Luna Crow 3 years ago
True story: wasn't allowed to celebrate Halloween as a kid for same b******t reasons. Went trick-or-treating for the first time in my 20's, wearing a hazmat suit, around the hour most kids are going home, with a finely crafted presentation about the dangers of sugar consumption, and the offer to properly dispose of leftovers. I ended up with SO much candy, and better yet, hanging out having drinks with the adults who were done with the kids' part of the evening
#13
That dog who got abandoned by his Christian owners bc he was ‘gay’. (He was then adopted by a lesbian couple)
Bored Turtle Princess 3 years ago
How the hell do you know if your dog is gay? Were they the sexuality police or what?
Seabeast 3 years ago
Dogs will hump as a display of dominance and apparently this dog dominated another male.
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Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Beat me to it. I think OP may have gotten mixed up because of the viral man hating chihuahua that was adopted by a lesbian.
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Izaac Murchie 3 years ago
Wait. I must have read that wrong. Your dog is gay so you abandon it?! How the hell (sorry Christians) do you know your dog is gay?! "Oh yeah he played with that dog that is the same gender as him. Damn my dogs gay. BYE!"
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
This one killed me. It's so ridiculous. I remember reading that and was very happy to hear that pup was given up cuz now it's in a home with loving people. My pup humps his brother all the time; he also has an obsession with lace, bras, skirts and panties. I still love the jerk
MusicalNerd 3 years ago
Have they actually read the Bible? Never does it ever mention animals sinning... it was humans that ate the forbidden fruit in Genesis 3...
Sharon Vaughn 3 years ago
It's normal for alpha-males to "hump" other males to exert their superiority. Human alpha-males prefer intimidation and bullying. Does that make them "gay"?
#14
Dark brown eyes. There was this batshit lady at my old church who worked in the youth ministry. She accused my sister of devil worship saying that she had "shark eyes".
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Nothing to do with race since brown eyes is extremely common in whites
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Susan Green 3 years ago
I have brown eyes too. I guess I must be evil then.
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
Considering the fact that shark eyes are all black with no sclera showing, and brown is the dominant and most widespread color of human eyes all over the world, then batshit crazy lady was a stranger to both reason and facts.
MagicJacket 3 years ago
You know the thing about a shark…he's got lifeless eyes, black eyes, like a doll's eye. When he comes at ya, he doesn't seem be living, until he bites ya and the black eyes roll over white...
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
I'm sure she went back home and prayed to her painting of very white, Nordic-looking Jesus with his crystal blue eyes and pearly-white teeth.
#15
"Godzilla" because god's name shouldn't be used like that. Told his kids there was a spelling error and it's actually called "Goodzilla".
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
In the original translation from the Japanese Gojira to English, his name became Gozilla. No one knows why the D was added. For those of you waiting for the joke: The creators are thinking of removing the D as he keeps tripping over it
King Kashue 3 years ago
No worries. It's Gojira - Gorilla/Whale - so 'God' isn't even in there. (I mean, it's actually ゴジラ, but you get what I mean).
Marek Čtrnáct 3 years ago
Fun thing is that the name is actually Gojira - mix of "gorila" and "kujira", which means "whale" - two big, dangerous animals.
Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
Tell them watch the Roland Emerich movie with Zilla then(that movie took the God out of Godzilla).
#16
My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I'm told, i wasn't there). She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil. I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma's head. I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those b***hes would come back and try that same shit. I'll personally throw them out the house.
juice 3 years ago
i’m guessing it bore a resemblance to devil horns? which is idiotic, but it's the best reasoning i can come up with
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Tom Hanlin 3 years ago
Well, you know rabbits are evil. That's why they're associated with the resurrection of Christ.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
Stab them? Jeez, I’d throw ‘em into a void
Load More Replies... Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
If they'd tried something like that with my granny they'd have needed the pope as backup, she'd have beaten seven shades out of them all and torched the chapel for good measure.
Eric Soliday 3 years ago
Do they think Easter is evil too or just everything fun? Enjoy your f-Ing life you only got one
#17
The Lord of the Rings works and The Chronicles of Narnia. Both Tolkien and Lewis were devout Christians.
Mary Jeffries 3 years ago
The whole time I was reading the chronicles of Narnia I kept thinking why was Aslan never around when they needed him? He could’ve been so much help to so many people and he only showed up occasionally. It really drove home some frustrations about Christianity.
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King Kashue 3 years ago
The Lion, Witch, and the Wardrobe is actually a pretty obvious (and sometimes even a bit heavy-handed) Christian allegory.
Napoleon dynamite 3 years ago
The Chronicles of Narnia is written by C.S Lewis He is a Christian!!!
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
He was baptized in the Church of Ireland, fell away from it while at prep school, and became a member of the Church of England when he was 32, in part because of the influence of his friend J. R. R. Tolkien.
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Anjelika 3 years ago
One of my favourite books is the golden compass series (his dark materials) while the older I grew the less I liked Narnia , it became too obvious for me
Ozacoter 3 years ago
Do you remember the drama that the church started when they released the first movie? And that was after heavily censor the content so it was not obvios that it was a book against religion
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Louie Cooper 3 years ago
My grandmother was deadset against both these movies. She hated them, said they were the work of the devil because it promoted non-Christian views. Nothing me or my brother said could change her mind...and then one day the pastor mentioned he'd watched the 3rd LotR movie and thought it a work of art. Suddenly it was the best movie in the world and that it was the perfect example of good vs evil. She never did change her mind about Harry Potter though
#18
Frank Zappa's album "Jazz From Hell" was required to have an "Explicit lyrics" sticker. It is instrumental.
Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
Thank you, Tipper (with full support from Al) Gore!!! This is specifically and solely why my uncles and dozens of their friends in Broward County, Florida voted for Nader. Yes, because of Tipper Gore & her PMRC, George W. Bush became president of the USA.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
I remember watching the hearings about this. I had the pleasure of meeting Frank back in 1971 in Tampa at USF. My first famous musician experience. I was 15.
Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
The irony was that by putting "parental advisory" stickers on albums they just made kids want them more, I can't complain though because the whole thing angered Ice T resulting in writing some of my favourite songs by him.
Sharon Vaughn 3 years ago
It's rather irksome when people condemn something w/o listening, viewing, or reading it first.
#19
Hard rock. My idiot aunt thought that AC/DC stood for "Anti-Christ, Devil Child." F**kin' idiot. She is also the most obviously in-the-closet person I've ever met in my life. I have a gaydar that barely functions, but she's super duper mega ultra gay. Perhaps she'd have had a happier life if she'd spent less time poring over "Balls to the Wall" like it was a Satanic verse and kissed a girl instead.
Sean Sean 3 years ago
Back in the 80's they also thought the band KISS stood for "Knights in Satan's Service".
Curran Evans 3 years ago
70's and 80's, but yeah. Had a teacher tell me that one and the AC/DC one while I wore my KISS shirt proud. Laughed in her face.
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Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
I heard that one too. For real, the southern united states' is like a freaking wasteland of paranoia and hypocrisy.
Dale Kastelberg 3 years ago
Being from the South, many things taught can cause paranoia big time.
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John Carr 3 years ago
The Anti-Christ, Devil Child thing was everywhere. Think it was started by the PMRC (Parents Music Resource Center) who were a bunch of white Washington wives bent on furthering their husbands political careers by feeding the media with crap about music. The term even made it to rural Ireland. My best friends family were hyper religious and kept preaching to me about the evils of metal. I used to get a great laugh out of wearing more and more graphic tshirts.....AC/DC, Maiden, Slayer, Deicide etc.
Shnookumpie 3 years ago
To this day, I don't know why, but my mother BURNED my cassette tapes of 'Chicago'..... I had to listen to the radio for hours to record those songs!🥺
Na Schi 3 years ago
When you play them backwards you can hear actually the Devils indoctrination... or so I've learned from Little Nicky 🤗
Load More Replies... Raeann Wood 3 years ago
That is good ole 80's Satanic panic Sh**. I remember that...RUSH also stood for Ruling Under Satan's House...Led Zepplin's Stairway to Heaven....the Piper is calling...yeah suppose to be the devil...I could go on and on.....
#20
Without a shred of sarcasm I once heard an evangelical describe hot cheetos as a product of the devil.
Nunya Bus 3 years ago
Yeah, I'm with Nathaniel. I'm an atheist too, but I know the devil exists because....mayonnaise.
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Bob Standen 3 years ago
It was invented by the Mexican janitor at the factory, of course he got a pat on the back and his picture in the papers, but not a penny of the millions made by the company from it.
Almarako94 3 years ago
If you think about it, where the human mind finds it's limits, it puts a god. Thus a God is the product of stupidity.
ColdBlooded 3 years ago
*chomp chomp chomp* *spit out hot cheetos* *get headache from stupidity of the world*
#21
I remember a lady saying she refused to eat mushrooms, they were satanic because they grew in the dark.
Raven Sheridan 3 years ago (edited)
Well, she ain't a fun guy. (Get it!? Fungi.) Sorry, I couldn't resist. 😁
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Tell her she spent 9 months growing in the dark and then call her a mushroom
Sasha 3 years ago
You cant ever sleep. Cause when you close your eyes, all you see is darkness and if you stay like that too long you transform into a goat.
Na Schi 3 years ago
In former timed they had a solution to this (at least in Europe)... as long as you sit upright while sleeping the Death can't get you. Only when lying your head down, the Death will take you and most likely delivery you directly to the Devils realm. Saying so, I'm going to enjoy my nice, comfy and utterly horizontal bed 🤭🤫
Load More Replies... Enby.Minecraft.Bee. 3 years ago
Mushrooms aren't the only things that live under rocks i guess.
#22
Star Trek. Mostly, I think, because my racist uncle couldn't stomach a black woman and an asian dude being functional members of a spaceship crew.
Rez Fidel 3 years ago
Now religous war will rage the planet.. don´t ever blasphemise StarTrek you warpless heretic borg pagans.
shodokai 3 years ago
Sesame Street was initially banned in several South Eastern states due to the casting of hispanic and black actors.
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
Holy f**k, make him watch 21 Jumpstreet, I wanna know if he'll start saying cops are satanic
Freya the Wanderer 3 years ago
I'd love to know what that boob thought of ST:TNG. Data the android, Worf the Klingon - and Picard being bald
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
Star Trek gave me PTSD, or rather my sibling, the true Spawn of Satan did. My mother bought him a very expensive reel to reel tape recorder so he could record every episode. If I took a deep breath I got punched during a commercial. After about 3 episodes, I had enough abuse, especially as my mother did nothing to protect me. I still cannot watch ST.
Rebecca O’Donnell 3 years ago
I’m so sorry to hear that. I can appreciate the abuse being magnified because nothing was done to stop it. It is my belief in Karma that gets me through the cruelty of human nature.
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#23
Unicorns. Their horns are the sign of satan. I wish I was making this up.
Nunya Bus 3 years ago
Yeah, and it's the emblem of Scotland, so.....is all of Scotland the devil?
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Marianne 3 years ago
That's interesting, because unicorns were also seen as a symbol of Christ.
MarmotArchivist 3 years ago
Right. Since the middle ages the unicorn was associated with Christ and purity. It was believed that only a virigin could capture one. The one horn also symbolised the one god and a unicorn could purify water with its horn.
Load More Replies... Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
The thought of Satan riding majestically on the back of a sparkly pink "Lisa Frank" style unique oddly fills be with glee.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I just remembered a game I used to enjoy called Red Faction: Armageddon. I loved the Mr Toots weapon! It was a small unicorn that fired rainbow farts of absolute destruction!
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ThePanInPanda 3 years ago
I had an old friend who told me I couldn't go to heaven if I believed in unicorns, but we were 6 at the time, so I've never held it against her.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
This was a common theme in the church I went to as I child. Unicorns were of the devil and the horns were satanic.
#24
Wifi. Because they didn't understand how it could work without wires.
Henry Hagens 3 years ago
In that case clearly they practice what they preach
Load More Replies... Vicky Z 3 years ago
I used to know a person that was insisting to open the windows to let the internet out because it was harmful and evil🙄
John Baker 3 years ago
There's a lot more than just ignorance involved in a lot of these examples. There's also a healthy dose of just plain stupid.
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The Claustrophobic Turtle 3 years ago
Just because there is an invisible force that really works ??? lmao😂
#25
A microscope. An acquaintance of mine called a microscope a “gift from the devil” because it makes people question the divine plan.
jon gilbertson 3 years ago
ugh, crap like that burns me a*se. how many kids die because their parents chose prayer over ACTUAL medicine. sad
Na Schi 3 years ago
Unfortunately there are dying much more good/innocent people than the pissants who deserve it by spreading such b******t.
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You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
actually no, the DEVIL gives Eve the knowledge of good and evil (free will). God is the one that said "do not eat of the tree" or "you will become like US (the elohim)".
Load More Replies... Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
People who deny science and logical facts scare the beejesus out of me. They're the ones that contribute to the spread of false facts and fearmongering.
shodokai 3 years ago
I'll take 'unanswerable questions' every day over 'unquestionable answers'.
Miranda Prince 3 years ago
Huh. All the devil ever gave me was socks. A microscope is a much better gift.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
If knowing more and understanding the world better makes you question your beliefs, maybe you *should* question your beliefs.
Phillip Wayne Doty 3 years ago
Antonie Philips van Leeuwenhoek (1632-1723) was a devout Calvinist [Christian] and he is the one who invented the Microscope.
#26
A toothache. "The devil is trying to enter my body." Was the quote. Initially i thought they were making a weird joke. They were serious.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Slap the person who says this and shout, "THE DEVIL IS MAKING YOU SPREAD HIS LIES TO CAUSE SUFFERING!" Sometimes you have to fight stupid with stupid
Fanstacia D 3 years ago
This is true. I once said to my evangelical aunt, “‘THEY’ (nice ambiguous ‘they’) are perpetuating anti-vax rhetoric to make our population ill.” She then shut up about her grandchildren getting their jabs.
Load More Replies... BakedKahuna 3 years ago
Reminds me of a Jewish curse. May all your teeth fall out except for one. So you can still get a toothache 😂😂😂
ColdBlooded 3 years ago
Used it on an annoying german guy... even though im muslim...
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Giles McArdell 3 years ago
Exorcise it, "The power of Crest compels you, the power of Crest compels you"
#27
My very religious aunt once referred to Hooters as “satan's snack shop”.
Her husband was a frequent visitor and she found the receipts in his truck lol
Angie Chan 3 years ago
I now want to run a place called Satan's Snack Shop in the worst way. All of the snacks will be downright sinful!
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Ha! Reminds me of a post a while back that referred to the c l i t o r i s as 'the devil's doorbell'. XD
DarkAngelNic 3 years ago
To be fair, it is a terrible company that treats its workers like crap and so do the customers so....
#28
Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students' fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time.
The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing... for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Loose, Footloose Kick off your Sunday shoes Please, Louise Pull me offa my knees Jack, get back C'mon before we crack Lose your blues Everybody cut Footloose
Miss Nobody 3 years ago
You're playing so cool, Obeying every rule, Dig way down in your heart, You're yearning, burning for some Somebody to tell you, That life ain't passing you by, I'm trying to tell you; It will if you don't even try
Load More Replies... John Dilligaf 3 years ago
For those wondering; the joke is an old Jewish Joke: A Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding, meets with their rabbi for counseling. The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together." "Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest.Men and women always dance separately." "Well, okay," says the man, "what about sex? Can we finally have sex?" "Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah (good thing) within marriage!" "What about different positions?" asks the man. "No problem," "Woman on top?" the man asks. "Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!" "Doggy style?" "Sure! Another mitzvah!" "On the kitchen table?" "Yes, yes! A mitzvah!" "Can we use hot oil, whips and toys" "Yes, A mitzvah!" "Can I push her against the wall and do it standing up?" “No! No!” the Rabbi exclaimed. “Not standing up! It might lead to dancing.”
Grace Noyes 3 years ago
Similar joke: Why can't christians have sex standing up? Because someone might think they were dancing.
Tonya Wallace 3 years ago
Today I learned.....lol I feel so stupid right now.🤦🏾
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Concept-Peter Roosdorp 3 years ago
I remember the barcode thing. The logic behind it is that all barcodes start with 2 lines, have 2 lines in the middle and two at the end. To identify it as a barcode. However, the same two lines are also the number 6, so in other words it was a capitalist devil symbol, 666, on all goods.
Joel Strauss 3 years ago
Sex could lead to dancing? For me it usually leads to a cigarette and a nap!
#29
My mom called my art satanic because I drew dragons and wolves with horns when I was a kid.
#30
Women speaking or asking questions in church.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
If you let women do that then where will it end? They'll be wanting to vote next.
The Deez 3 years ago
The church that my husband and I attended for about 18 years wouldn't allow women to do any kind of teaching on Sunday mornings because the elders thought that women shouldn't teach men. They could teach other women, though, so they had an active women's Bible Study! (Which I attended numerous times and really enjoyed!) They later expanded this view to include that women really shouldn't even do announcements on Sunday mornings! We don't attend that church any more, for other reasons, and it's only been in the last 7 months or so that I've looked back and gone, "Wait a minute... that's REALLY STUPID!" Can't believe I just accepted it as "truth" at the time!!! *eye roll*
LH25 3 years ago
Our church recently let our youth pastor go because he believed this. The final straw was when he protested a young woman leading a group of high-school girls. Like a young man doing so would be better!? And he was in his late 20s.
Cyndielouwhoo 3 years ago
Maybe he was angling for that assignment himself...
Load More Replies... Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
That's obviously awful, but at least this one has a direct scriptural reason behind it, if not a logical one. Thanks a lot, Paul (/s).
Kate Stephenson 3 years ago
Before I married my first husband at 19 we had to attend marriage counseling sessions with the paster of the church before he would perform our service. He told me among other things that I should never disagree with my husband in public, that he was head of our marriage and made all the decisions, ect... My husband was told to keep me under control and that he "really shouldn't" hit me to keep me in line, but said he said it in a sarcastic way and laughed, inferring what?
Fanstacia D 3 years ago
They start this early. This talk was weekly crap from my Sunday school teacher. :(
Load More Replies... Na Schi 3 years ago
Interesting enough how so many women bow down for an invisible but obviously male "God" and all the male priests in charge... even defend their stupid ideas. It shows how mightyful brainwashing can be when being applied from young age and carried over generations! (Not to mention that a lot of clerical people won't say no if a young boy kneels in front of them to, well, worship).
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Actually many people believe God is both male and female. He created man (as in human, not male) in his image.
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 3 years ago
Curse god and giving me a thinking mind. Why couldn’t he make me a mindless robot instead? 😒
Debby Marengo 3 years ago
I've been an Atheist since birth but raised by shyt Christians and then dumb enough to marry one. I went to his church being the new wife and made the mistake of asking him a question. He told me to shu my mouth in church. When we got home he beat my a**e for having the audacity to speak in a church. lol wow. Last time I joined his nasty self.
Fanstacia D 3 years ago
Holy s**t. I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you got out of there.
Load More Replies... #31
My mom was terrified I'd accidentally summon a demon playing yugioh.
rabbitsrabbit 3 years ago
Who cares about the devil? Does she realise how rich u will be if u manage to summon blue eyes white dragon into the world?
ComfyPanda 3 years ago
I do this every time I play with my 9 year old. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
Load More Replies... cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Get all the Royal Demon cards and give her something to worry about
Gin Sutaraito 3 years ago
Plot twist, she walks in one day to a Blue Eyes White Dragon in the garage lol
ColdBlooded 3 years ago
IDK why a patriarch came to MY house, cos im a muslim and TOLD ME TO BURN MY VALUABLE POKEMON CARDS COLLECTION. WORTH MORE THAN HIS LIFE. NO CAP.
#32
I wanted to learn to play the violin as a child but was told I couldn’t because it was the devil’s instrument.
Miss Nobody 3 years ago
🎶 the devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal
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Claire Nichols 3 years ago
As a parent... I can confirm! Any child learning at instrument (under the age of 7) IS a hell of a sound!!
Ann Dennis 3 years ago
LOL! My violin teacher once told me, "the definition of hell is living next door to a student violinist". (ah, she was just trying to be nice :)
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Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
He couldn't have been very good at playing it as I heard on good authority that he lost in a contest against a random redneck he bumped into.
. 3 years ago
Yes, like the person in the picture. (Yes, that is a viola, and yes, there is a difference.)
Load More Replies... #33
“Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.
ChimeraBubbles 3 years ago (edited)
Wow! I haven't seen this film since I was 11yo when I re-watched it multiple times per day. I was going through some particularly awful medical crap and it got me through. Humans are weird. Maybe I'm now possessed by the devil.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
It was nice to see the kid in it was inspired to join starfleet and the crew of Voyager. And his girlfriend lived her dream of becoming a chef, in New York of all places.
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Rez Fidel 3 years ago (edited)
So Dolph Lundgreen ist God?! Eh.. why not?....Scandinavians are awesome. Though i´d rather start a skeletor cult...feat. Nicholas Cage. Who is with me?
Kandi Heiple 3 years ago
Wow, I thought for sure I was going to have one that nobody else would say! My stepmom's parents thought He Man was demonic because he drew his power from Grey Skull and not from Christ. I can't believe there are other people out there who also think this way.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
we had this crap here, people were even doing bonfires with the dolls. pathetic.
Fanstacia D 3 years ago
Then Ghostbusters was released and whooo! that was a carnival ride at Christmas family dinner with my evangelical aunt and uncle.
Ozymandias73 3 years ago
" 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made. " lol classic
Kantami Blossom 3 years ago
Should have pointed out the characters come from another galaxy and have no God
Eric Soliday 3 years ago
I think people in church were terrifying others so much about whether they'd be saved so they become paranoid. Fear is a deterrent from God than anything else
Lukyan Terdal 3 years ago
How is Masters of the Universe satanic? He-Man prays every single day! It's right there in his song!
#34
My mom called my pants satanic (there was a chain on them).
Jonny Man 3 years ago
Call it something like "The Devil's Trousers," that has a less teeny-bopper ring to it.
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Na Schi 3 years ago
You got me laughing really hard here @cybermerlin2000
Load More Replies... CatWoman312 3 years ago
My mom wasn’t allowed to wear jeans as a teenager because they were a temptation and satanic
Grace Noyes 3 years ago
Oops, hit send too early. With Will Ferrell as the devil and Garth Brooks as a broken down country singer who needs a hit song. If you haven't seen it, check it out. Hilarious.
Load More Replies... #35
My dad wouldn't let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more.
The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.
Monday 3 years ago
A Sunday school teacher I once had was on the "harry potter is the devil's work" train....and he wonders why 70% of his class turned atheist.
John Baker 3 years ago
"Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived." ~ Isaac Asimov
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Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
Yeah... My mother used to be like that. She recently apologised and expressed her regret that she might have "pushed" me into atheism with her extreme views during my childhood. She actually watched the first Harry Potter movie with my husband and me when we visited, because she noticed that HP is something that connects most of my siblings, my husband and even my nieces, and she wants to know more about what we care about. Only took about two decades...
CatWoman312 3 years ago
We read “The witches” in 5th grade and my classmate, whose dad was a preacher, wasn’t allowed to read the book and had to leave the room when we read it because it was satanic to read about witches. He also wasn’t allowed to read Harry Potter for the same reason. He grew up to be a bigot shocker.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
wow that is next-level medieval peasant gibbering-fear superstitiousness.
ToyWyvern 3 years ago
If the dad was fundamentalist enough to stop the kid from seeing magic, he'd also forbid the kid from watching girls in a beach town.
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AnxietyRiddenMom 3 years ago
When I met my now husband, he had two children from a previous marriage. They were 9 and 6. I happen to love Harry Potter a whole lot and we were going to watch the ones I had on DVD. The oldest looks at me and says Nonna (grandmother they lived with) days we can watch them because they have witchcraft in them. I asked each girl if they thought the movies were real. They both said no. I asked them them if they were going to try to become witches after watching them. They said no. I said, well at my house you can watch these because I know you know it's a make believe story and you're not going to practice witchcraft after we watch them.
#36
F**king Hello Kitty. Some religious f**ktards from my sister-in-law's family, took away all the Hello Kitty toys from my niece and burnt them because... sigh... there is a demon in the sumerian mythology who, just like the famous cartoon cat, has no mouth, so Hello Kitty is obviously daemonic.
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth because they wanted her to have the same emotion as the person looking at her. Like, if you're sad, then she's sad, if you're happy, then she's happy
Pink Dahlia 3 years ago
I'm 53 and I LOVE Hello Kitty... I have her everywhere. Hello Hell, here I come!
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Invite them to a barbecue. Make them what they want and liberally lace their favourite sauces with superglue. When they can speak or open their mouths, declare them as servants of Alû and kill them
Uber Mensch 3 years ago
So... they're worried that their God isn't powerful enough to defeat a Sumerian demon? Where is their faith?
ChickenNugget 3 years ago (edited)
I do not agree that she's demonic, but there is a creepy urban legend surrounding Hello Kitty. I don't believe it, but its quite interesting
Phillip Wayne Doty 3 years ago
according to the author, Hello Kitty is a little girl that lives outside of London and she is not a cat but wears a mask. so this one is dumber than most.
#37
Oh man.
A paperback copy of Frankenstein's monster with an illustration of the monster on the front.
The experience of feeling desire for black men.
Pokémon.
Yoga.
Source: grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community rampant with ignorance and bigotry of all kinds.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
If the book did NOT have an illustration of the monster, would that be okay?
Gummy_wormz 3 years ago
"The experience of feeling desire for black men"?? So they were r@cist dipshits?
Oskar Dora 3 years ago
Well hold on now.. if black women are ok I think we can make this work. You ladies will just have to (not) take one for the team and go for the chinese guy if you want to get to heaven
Load More Replies... Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
I'd love to hear why being attracted to someone with a different skin color is a "sin". Idiocy at it's worst.
Tuna Fish 3 years ago
We were always told it was because of the "be not unequally yolked" scripture. It also excused their racism toward foreigners of any color and believers of other faiths. It was kinda like a catch all for bigotry. But don't worry according to them I'm definitely going to hell so I'll see y'all there!
Load More Replies... Caeli Norfoe 3 years ago
Yoga, for the record is not Christian, but it isn't satanic either; it is a form of Hindu prayer.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
You get one group of people offended if you separate the practice of yoga from it's religious significance and another group offended if you don't.
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ColdBlooded 3 years ago
My muslim cousin marries an english christian. Islam: Okay with that. Christians like the patriarch or something: You have married a devil. those ********.
M. William Bell 3 years ago
Knowledge is knowing that Frankenstein wasn't the monster; wisdom is knowing that he (and the religious idiots) are the monsters.
Lea S. 3 years ago
This reminds me of an experience I had. I love this children's book God Bless the Gargoyles by Dav Pilkey. The illustrations are done in india ink, deep blues and greens. The artwork is beautiful and the message is loving and poetic. I was working at a daycare where, I couldn't seem to up my popularity with the other teachers. No matter what I did, it was wrong. Mostly I was doing what the boss/owner told me to - and I was supposed to ignore her and listen to them. They were bullies. So I bring in this book to read to my class when we were on the letter G. All the kids love it. I got my hands on some extra copies and it was great. I could calm them down at least twice a day with a nice snuggly quiet read of it, and they loved to read it themselves and play the parts of the angels and gargoyles. This teacher next door to me, one of the bullies. She grabs the book from a group of kids one day and when they started to get upset runs to my bosses and says the scary monsters in the book
Lea S. 3 years ago
upset them. The only thing she knew about the book is that the gargoyles weren't cute, they were ugly. They were ugly so that meant demonic and bad and whatever else. Where does it say in the bible that people who are ugly are demonic?! Who teaches a child that someone who isn't conventionally handsome should be feared?! Sorry about the long post just, still want to go back to that place and ask that question.
Load More Replies... #38
i was once wearing my hat backwards and got called a devil worshipper.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
People like that are dealt with by saying things like, "You're wearing nylon and polyester. They are artificial creations and not natural. You are wearing the devil's clothing as god provides natural materials for clothing" Yes, I have done this and caused a bit of an argument between a bunch of religious nutters. It was fun
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
or worse, wearing a polyester-cotton shirt. Leviticus 19:19 and Deuteronomy 22:11
Load More Replies... cybermerlin2000 3 years ago (edited)
No, you wear one made of mixed and blended fabrics of elaborately woven warp silk, polyester and nylon, and you become a Satinist
Load More Replies... Rebecca Trinkner 3 years ago
I have never seen a Satanist wear a backwards cap. Not really their style.
ColdBlooded 3 years ago
Yeah, they do the horned helmet. Which I once wore past a church on a sunday.😈
Load More Replies... Tom Hanlin 3 years ago
Well, shucks, it obviously just means you can't figure out how hats work. Can you tie your shoes? 'cause they make them with Velcro straps now.
Curran Evans 3 years ago
Wow I much be a HUGE devil worshipper. I've worn a backwards hat since high school! Praise him! LOL!!!!
#39
My wife's mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.
ComfyPanda 3 years ago
But uh yea. I'd hold a grudge if you dragged me outta the Care Bears movie!!!! In fact I watched it just the other day!!! 37 female and NOT ASHAMED!!!! Those bears rock!
ComfyPanda 3 years ago
Lol you had to go and bring the Telletubbies into this huh. They legit are the devil.
Oskar Dora 3 years ago
So she is a true christian :D because they say that they forgive others, but its all Bull*hit
#40
I saw a sign yesterday that called fat people who eat excessively, satanic. The guy holding the sign was at least 100lbs heavier than I am, and I'm 230lbs. Also, the sign didn't make any sense to begin with...
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
Are you sure that was religious intolerance and not an advertisement?
Mary Jeffries 3 years ago
I guess they won’t be reading the research about obesity then?
Load More Replies... #41
Acting - the entire profession. Backwards satanic messages in the "Mr. Ed" theme song. Liberalism - everything liberal is satanic. I've heard all three.
Nathaniel 3 years ago
The evil liberals, wanting everyone to be treated fairly, how dare they?
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
The liberal thing confuses me so much; like, did we read about the same Jesus from the same Bible?
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
I highly doubt these fanatic losers have even opened a bible in their lives. They are like broken records that repeat the same ten bible verses out of context to support their hateful views.
Load More Replies... Giles McArdell 3 years ago
I never understand how you can claim to follow Jesus' teachings but still have right wing views. Do these people ever actually read the new testament or do they stop as soon as all the floods and plagues and smiting's stop?
TheNewJenBrady 3 years ago
I haven't thought about the Mr. Ed theme song in years and apparently my brain still knows all the lyrics
Linda Lee 3 years ago
Liberals = Left. Right wing = conservatives, aka The Religious Right.
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#42
Having more than 2pets at home.
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
No wonder your name has a question mark.
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ComfyPanda 3 years ago
SNAP!!!! But here's the thing lol God told Noah to go forth and bring every animal two by two into the Ark. Technically not his pets but your comment is still funny as hell!!! Sorry for the theology lesson *facepalm*
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Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
Whelp, I guess I'm going to have to put Cerebrus and Fenris up for adoption since they are eating me out of house and home. Nobody is into virgin sacrifices these days.
Kisses4Katie 3 years ago
I assume that means satan has lots of pets. I’d rather hang out there when I’m done.
Sasha 3 years ago
Actually ive kinda experienced this myself. I currently have 5 pets. 3 of them are snakes. While i get why some people find liking snakes weird, some of my religious relatives urging me to get rid of them cause theyre the symbol of the devil is just batty. Ironically most of my pets are little shits (as they tend to be, thats how i like it), my most gentle and meek pet is actually my oldest snake. That thing will let you do whatever to her, no complaints, while my dog raises hell when im on the phone cause the attention isnt on her and my fish will nip my hands while im cleaning to get my attention.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
This really sounds like fun, especially even the fish asking for attention!
Load More Replies... Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
Because mom doesn’t want another pet, and it’s a way to say no without looking like the bad guy.
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#43
I've heard someone say black people were demons because their skin is burnt from being in hell so long.
Nunya Bus 3 years ago
Nathaniel, you're my new best friend. Best response!
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You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
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Nikki Sevven 3 years ago
When were they in Hell? Before their birth? So you're expressing a belief in reincarnation?
Andrei Marentette 3 years ago
As much as this is racist, it's funny. NOT BEING RACIST IN ANY WAY
Kevin Teng 3 years ago
Just like Nikki said. So they believe in reincarnation?
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Bella Jones 3 years ago
I read somewhere that being black was what was meant by 'the mark of Cain' from the Cain & Abel myth.
#44
For awhile I wasn't allowed to use the word "weird" because it was associated with witchcraft. Apparently because Shakespeare wrote about the witches of "weird".
Fanstacia D 3 years ago
Saw a friend get beaten by her father on the church bus, I front of everyone for saying “oh fruit” instead of “oh f*ck”.
#45
Being born in March. My father's mother told my mom she was birthing the anti christ because my sister was due in March. Just so happened to also fall around my aunt's wedding. Which is probably why. Aside from her hating my mother. Jokes on her. My parents have been married for almost 30 years and are very happy.
Lara Verne 3 years ago
Probably something like: "Everything I don't like is satanic, and I don't like March."
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Manu 3 years ago (edited)
No, March 24th here, 2+4=6 . Times 3 (March) =666. Also, I am left handed and liberal as funk. Bend over you mortal pink Dahlia. I am Satan
Load More Replies... Historyharlot93 3 years ago (edited)
The reasoning is mom is having a baby before her sister-in-laws wedding, thus ruining bridezillas wedding year. Only Satan himself could have the balls to do that! Voila! The anti christ is born!,
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
That's how I read it too but I'm still wondering about this family and their ability to perform those types of mental gymnastics...
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Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago
Could be ignorance to the origins of the old saying »Beware of the ides of March»
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
A good friend's father was shot down in Viet Nam then, returned home 2019, my divorce 1988, my mom died 1993. Not fond of the Ides of March.
Load More Replies... Philler Space 3 years ago
Didn't Jesus make a bunch of fish to feed everybody? He's gotta be cool with Pisces!
#46
The movie Jumanji. Couldn’t watch it until I was like 12 because my mom thought it was about a ouija board because the pieces moved by themselves.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
look of all the posts here this is the only one that vaguely makes sense because it actually depicts a possessed toy. I mean even DND isn't comparable, it puts you to sleep.
#47
I have a sunflower tattoo on my forearm, when I worked at ingles during college a man said it “was of the devil” and that I “defiled the body lovingly gifted by god” and god would be mad I disrespected his gift when I had to return “his” body when I returned to heaven.
Puppeteer Saint 3 years ago
Your body is a temple. Your body.. Your temple.. Decorate it however you like.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
You are the god the temple is dedicated too
Load More Replies... John Carr 3 years ago
I mentioned a religious family here earlier who were against heavy metal. They weren't happy to see my tats or piercings as my body does not belong to me. To my surprise, it belongs to god! Have to say that he's a very negligent landlord - arthritis, psoriasis and a few other things.
Yoga Kitty 3 years ago
Totally off topic - did you have problems with your tats due to the psoriasis? Did it flare up when you got them? Because mine is really acting up everytime I get so much as a simple scratch that I am truly wondering what would happen if I got a tattoo (had not problem with the piercing of my south pole, however, simply piercing the earlobes caused severe inflammation)...
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andrew hall 3 years ago
There is a verse in the Bible, don't remember which book, that says that the names of all of God's children are written on his hands. This was told to me by a Pastor and he said there is nothing wrong with tattoos.
The_Messy_Sys 3 years ago
christians be saying "oh, your body is a temple, dont ruin it with something like a tattoo!" and temples look like: TeMpLe-626...c4795.jpeg 
Martin Forbes 3 years ago
So did he ever stop to think what will God say to anyone if they ever get put on weight for any reason ?
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I had a religious nut say my pacemaker was satanic. I said it was scientific because God f*cks up everything he touched, and we have to correct his mistakes. She stormed off muttering angry crap under her breath
#48
The peace symbol.
My HS biology teacher saw me wearing one & explained the peace symbol.
It's a inverted cross... The sides have been bent down & away from God....
Richard Graham 3 years ago
The peace symbol was designed by Gerald Holtom for the British Campaign for Nuclear Disarmament in 1958. The vertical line in the center represents the flag semaphore signal for the letter D, and the downward lines on either side represent the semaphore signal for the letter N. “N” and “D”, for nuclear disarmament, enclosed in a circle.
Marianne 3 years ago
Same logic as people who think it's bad to say "X-mas", because you cross out "Christ".
Kenneth McCartney 3 years ago
The "X" in X-Mas stands for the X in Xristos, Greek for Christ.
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Queen Boudicca 3 years ago
I wish I could have explained that crucifixion was also done upside down...
#49
Twisted Sister. Dee Snider is a very well spoken, interesting man. Satan has nothing to do with it.
Flash Henry 3 years ago
Dee Snider is such a nice guy! I've met him twice--once at a restaurant I used to work at, and once at a horror movie convention. Such an awesome dude.
Jonny Man 3 years ago
Fun fact, Alice Cooper holds Bible study sessions and is a devout Christian to this day. And some of the kinkiest people in my local scene are also religious.
John Carr 3 years ago
Think that is more from his recovery from alcoholism and the AA. But there is no doubt about it - he is such a lovely guy. Met him years ago in London. Asked if I could get a photo with him. This was before digital cameras and I had only a few exposures left on the film. He got one of his entourage to take the pics and he ended up using all the film.
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#50
Vegetarianism.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
I know some nice vegetarians and vegans, but I have also threatened to b*tch slap some that should lay off the mushrooms and stop spouting bull crap
UnseeJuiceWitch (any pronouns) 2 years ago
wellll...... i am a very violent vegetarian I guess im satan now
Joel Strauss 3 years ago
Because Christianity is based on cannibalism, perhaps? Although I'm pretty sure vegetarians can partake of the Eucharist. Maybe not vegans though...
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
If the wine is vegan then yes. Also, not all Christians believe in transubstantiation. Catholics and maybe some Orthodox do, but many protestant denominations view the Eucharist is the metaphor and not literal.
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Kath Edwards 3 years ago
Vegetarianism, no. Veganism, yes. But that's mainly because many people just don't like vegans! lol
#51
A friends wife once got into some religious thing where anything of beauty was satanic. Flowers, scenery, anything beautiful. Satan was luring you with its beauty.
Bored Turtle Princess 3 years ago
Heaven is supposed to be beautiful, right? Then, is heaven also satanic?
Orange Is Aging 3 years ago
Excuse me? Do you per chance know if there are any well-rated asylums near where she lives?
Jonny Man 3 years ago
That sounds less like religion and more like someone going into psychosis with a satanic fixation. The Bible itself has verses talking about the beauty of flowers, birds, trees, and all the nice creatures on Planet Earth. Was Satan luring people in with the Bible, too? Oh wait, I've heard *that* argument as well...
#52
I’ve heard that when your eye twitches it means you are possessed by a demon and he is looking out your eye.
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
In my case, it twitches when a religious nutter just won't shut the f*ck up
UnseeJuiceWitch (any pronouns) 2 years ago
i dont have heterchromia but my eyes seen to change color in different light and i was told i was satans daughter and had holy water thrown at me.
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Catherine Binder 3 years ago
Sometimes when my insomnia acts up my eyes twitch really bad. I can only imagine what they would think of one of my insomnia/mania combos.
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Rebecca Trinkner 3 years ago
Ummmm.....No it's from looking at screens too long/too much and stress. Which living around people like that would likely cause.
#53
1. Coca Cola because the red supposedly represented the devil
2. A deck of playing cards
Grayson Wrigley 3 years ago
Additionally, my blood is now mostly Diet Coke. I guess since it's diet I'm only half Satan.
Load More Replies... Nathaniel 3 years ago
Britisher here. All our post boxes are red. Should we not post letters any more? Or get on famous London buses? Oh know! The guard around Buckingham Palace! Red uniforms! Satan's soldiers defending the Queen!
cybermerlin2000 3 years ago
This gave me a chuckle when I thought about the queens guards dressed in red and the phrase "God save the queen" I now think to myself "God save the queen, and may Satan secure the perimeter" Upvoted you for it
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 3 years ago
But, one of the main social events for churches is card nights (or it used to be)?!
#54
Doom, you literally kill evil demons and send them back to hell in order to save humanity. I used to argue about this a lot growing up in Catholic schools and my teachers were not having it. Ironically I've heard it's a popular video game among priests.
Sabs 3 years ago
John Romero tells the story of how they got a animal heart of a sheep or cow or something delivered to the ID office one day. Tom hall also would get post cards with chimpanzees on them for years from some unknown person. The band Barenaked Ladies later did a song called “Another postcard” based off the event.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago (edited)
I could see religious people having a problem with it just because the way it portrays demons and hell is different than the way they interpret the bible. I don't see anyone shouting about Renaissance painters' depictions of cherubs though, or about Jesus looking like a blonde Italian.
#55
An energy drink. EDIT: yes I was talking about Monster.
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I saw a nutbar 'explain' why Monster drink is evil some time ago. It was hysterical.
Scott Kelly 3 years ago
I saw that same video. Something about how the M logo is three 6's in Hebrew. And that the O in MONSTER has a cross in it, and when you drink it the cross is then turned upside-down. And then the "Unleash The Beast" slogan. She probably put more thought into it than the designers themselves lol.
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#56
Hot chocolate. “I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind, that’s the devils temperature.”
Shawn Len Smith 3 years ago
That is a direct quote from the character “Kenneth Parcell” on the sitcom 30 Rock. So, no—you did not hear this in real life. I’m an atheist BTW— just don’t like plagiarism.
Catherine Binder 3 years ago
It's also a weird Mormon thing. No hot beverages.
Load More Replies... XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
What are they gonna do when they finds out how much the gays love our iced coffee?
Anne Van Staden 3 years ago
I'm a Christian. And I'm soooooooo confused by these posts. Who are these people????
Honu 3 years ago
I've heard of the Mormon rule against "hot drinks" but I thought that specifically meant stimulating drinks, not high-temperature drinks. So caffeinated drinks like coffee and tea would be both hot and stimulating, but the ban was on caffeine and alcohol in general. Well, as far as I know. I'm no expert on the LDS church.
#57
The 80's country music song 'Elvira' by the Oak Ridge Boys.
They were convinced they were singing 'Hell Fire Up' instead of 'Elvira'.
#58
Any and all snakes. “They’re of the devil” is the actual quote.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
I find it fascinating how the snake became tied to sin and evil due to Christianity. In some other cultures, the snake is a symbol of transformation, transcendence, rebirth, and creativity.
#59
My old a** antisemitic neighbor who kept shouting that the synagogue down the block was satan's temple.
K- THULU 3 years ago
Oh yes I've heard plenty of these. My late father,who was born a jew, used to help out some Christian neighbors when the husband had a stroke.doing their shopping, gardening ect. He was talking to the wife one day and she was talking about good deeds and the path to heaven, and my dad, jokingly, said " well I'll be ok with everything I've been doing for you" and she looked him in the eye with a stern expression on he face and said " oh no, you're going to hell.....cause you're a jew! " what a fkn evil cnt
Queen Boudicca 3 years ago
And he lived as a Jew, as did his mother, father, disciples... I have this argument w my dad, but to be fair, he was born Catholic in 1934 in Germany. We are at least ro the point he watches what he says around me.
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Dynein 3 years ago
Oh, I've encountered this, too, except for mosques. A missionary giving a little presentation in our Christian youth group showed picture of a mosque's interior that, with some imagination, could be interpreted as an ugly face. He argued that the face represented Satan and that this showed that Muslims were actually worshiping Satan. (I was too shy to speak up and ask him what this implied for gothic churches)
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
The southern Baptist church my parents took me to as a kid thought Catholics were satanic
John Baker 3 years ago
And according to Catholics, they're the only true Christians, since according to their mythology, their church was founded by Jebus himself.
Load More Replies... Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
Is this rooted in the whole '*the* Jews killed Jesus' thing? Technically, the Romans killed Jesus at *some* Jews behest. But, Jesus was a Jew. Christianity is a sect of Judaism. So... I guess they have to hate themselves.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
People don’t think things through. Yes, some Jewish leaders urged Pilate to order the crucifixion. But Jesus was here on earth to die for everyone’s sins. Someone had to kill him; otherwise, no sacrifice, no remission of sin, no eternal life. The Jewish leaders were just as much part of God’s plan as the Angel Gabriel.
Load More Replies... Eric Mac Fadden 3 years ago
I lived in front of a synagogue, when Hava Nagila begun to play me and my wife run to each other to dance in our tiny apartment... it was all walled with metal gates because a bomb in the 90's. And being jew in Brazil isn't the most usual thing
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
It makes me so mad that so many people use their faith as reason to hate other's faith! Please know not all Christians feel this way, in fact many attend multi-faith services and rallies! You should absolutely not be using your faith as a reason to tear other people down!
#60
I've seen evangelicals call Mormons satanic. A few called the Pope the anti-Christ.
Monday 3 years ago
Yeah Christianity is weird. There are so many types and they mostly hate each other. The Protestant church our school "belonged to" taught us Catholicism was evil since humans can never be divine (the whole saint angle I guess?).
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
but that makes zero sense because anglicanism is protestant and has just as many saints.
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Laura Nitschmann 3 years ago
My family is LDS (Mormon), I assure you, they worship Jesus Christ & not Satan.
#61
Decorative owls (owl-themed home decor).
John Dilligaf 3 years ago
Also because Owls are heavily associated with the Greek goddess Athena, and therefore a pagan symbol
Load More Replies... M O'Connell 3 years ago
This strongly depends on what religion that person belongs to. I know of at least one native American group to which owls are an omen of death.
#62
My friend's mom cut the tail off his Nightcrawler action figure cause it was pointed like the devil's tail. She didn't appreciate the Medieval Spawn figure I gave him for his birthday when we were 9, either.
Marianne 3 years ago
Isn't Nightcrawler a passionate Christian? And the fact that he looks like a devil is used to set him apart from Angel, who is evil?
loranthippus 3 years ago
Angel isn't evil- he was mutilated, abused then brainwashed.
Load More Replies... #63
Black hair ties were banned at my friends Christian school because they were the devil's colour.
Jo Johannsen 3 years ago
Oh, the color the priests wear? And nuns? And, in many countries, the color of mourning.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
That's a crock of bull-crap. Don't they know that Satan's favourite colour is an eye-blinding hot pink?
#64
When I was a kid, someone said I was a devil worshipper for wearing a D.A.R.E t shirt. A lot of people also tried telling my mom that I was doing drugs because of the same shirt. I was 11 and apparently a lot of people didn't understand what D.A.R.E was about lmao
Mouse 3 years ago
Majority of the people I've known/met wearing a dare shirt or hat were doing so ironically and most definitely did drugs😁
Lizzie Andricks 3 years ago
true. common theme at my highschool was if you wanted drugs, find the kid in the d.a.r.e. shirt
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Sam 3 years ago
An absolute failure of an anti drug program run in schools
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Dee Mendes 3 years ago
the best "DARE" parody shirt I ever saw, said Drugs Are Really Expensive
Furmama0501 3 years ago
Okay. Let's do the opposite of what D.A.R.E. wants us to do *facepalm*
Sue Hazlewood 3 years ago
I have a D.A.R.E cap from when I was in a walk/run race to raise money for them.
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
Why would you raise money to harmful failures?
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#65
Once I heard a radio preacher going on about Barney, the purple dinosaur, calling him "Barney, the Purple Demon". The same guy had it in for The Smurfs as well.
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
I have never heard of Barney before, but I googled the dino and it's kinda creepy tbh.
gay insomniac assassin panda 3 years ago
I have watched it ONCE and HATED it. 10/10 would not recommend
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You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
supported. I am sure if you take off barney's mask it's actually MJ.
#66
I have an Aunt that has called every election the one with Satan. Clinton, Bush, Obama, Trump, and Biden all of them. She hasn't missed a beat since I've been old enough to listen to her. she has found everyone of them lacking any "godlyness" at all. Every single election year she says it's the end of times mark her words. What's stupid is she just moves on to the next one with the prophecy isn't fulfilled
King Kashue 3 years ago
Eh, I can at least respect the consistency. If someone's only one party and not the other, or jst Obama, or - most mind-boggling - everyone *but* the philandering con artist serial sexual assailant, then that's some nonsense. The position "All politicians are immoral and sinful and lacking in righteousness"? That can at least be defended. ;)
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
Except Obama. Political decisions aside, on a personal level, I can't think of anything wrong with that man.
Load More Replies... Nathaniel 3 years ago
Keep saying every President is the anti-Christ, and maybe one day, you might be right!
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
These are the same ignorant idiots that refuse to vote and then froth at the mouth and say that the country they live in is going to hell.
John Baker 3 years ago
It would be a hell of a lot worse if they did vote.
Load More Replies... #67
Crazy religious grandpa told me I'd go to hell for eating a ham sandwich lmao
XSpooky_Mint 3 years ago
Because pigs are concidered "unclean" shellfish and dogs too
Load More Replies... #68
Video games.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
well duh they are fun and distract one from reading the bore-ble.
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
The entire POINT of video games it to DEFEAT THE EVIL PEOPLE. I just DO NOT GET IT! WHY?! Video games are FUN. Why do you do this???
#69
Every single kid's show that wasn't VeggieTales. Quite a few Pentecostal families I know will only allow their kids to watch that cartoon. Talk about indoctrination at a young age.
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
My Uncle still gifts veggie tales videos to my son. My son is 14... Last time my Uncle was here he gave my son another veggie tales video, my son looked at him and said "You do realize I'm 14, right. I'm not 2, stop trying to brainwash me"
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Wait you're not allowed to like them past age 14?
Load More Replies... sirfryingpan 3 years ago
My dads coworkers son (6M at the time) was showing me his stuff when we visited their house. Their family is kinda religious but not to the point of these people, they don’t really care. The kid showed me a boatload of veggie tales and other kids movies and says “these are my movies, they teach me about god!”
Kerri Russ 3 years ago
Atheist here... I LOVE VeggieTales! We played them all the time for our kid when he was growing up. We still play the Silly Songs DVD occasionally and the kid is 22. LOL! Just fun animation and fun songs.
#70
Foosball.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Mama say alligators are ornery cuz they got all them teeth and no toothbrush lol
Load More Replies... sirfryingpan 3 years ago
“Ben Franklin didn’t invent the lightning rod, I did! Ben Franklin is the devil!”
#71
Shorts. I had a friend who walked into a church during summer wearing shorts and they kicked him out saying shorts on Sunday were an abomination to God. What a joke.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
I bet these idiots however would cry about muslim women's clothing and say it's oppression etc.... when it's exactly just what they have done!
Huddo's sister 3 years ago (edited)
My church has the view, if you want to worship, what does it matter what you wear? During summer most of us youth would wear thongs (for you Americans, no I don't mean g-strings, I mean flip flops, but no one would care if we did wear g strings) and shorts etc. In the past (my grandparent's youth) they did have a problem with twins who were milliners though, because they wore impressive hats purely for vanities sake and competition, which is not the purpose of church, but they couldn't really say anything about it.
Upstaged75 3 years ago
I went to grade school with a kid who wasn't allowed to wear shorts for "religious reasons". WTF? Our school had no AC either so I always felt bad for him when it was hot. Poor kid.
AnxietyRiddenMom 3 years ago
The church I went to as a young girl, starting at age 11 I think. Anyways, they preached that girls had to have long hair, no makeup, skirts to their knees. Men must never have long hair. It was a Wesleyan church. I even did bible bowl with them. As I got older, into my teens, I started questioning things. Why would God send a murderer to hell and also me for cutting my hair. I decided I didn't want anything to do with it. I ended up arguing with the jerk who drove the church bus and he made me walk home with my little sister and best friend. Great people they were.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
Well you have to look your absolute best for God you know, outwardly. /s
#72
Movie theaters. My dad couldn't go to movie theaters as a kid, because his parents are so obsessively religious.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
Now there are, back then not so much, and probably not often at the local theater.
Load More Replies... Shnookumpie 3 years ago
My husband's mom told him not to see Wizard of Oz when he was a kid because it was evil, becauseof the witches. He snuck in to see it anyway. He said he saw something scary in the dark on his way home and was convinced for years she was right.
#73
The sound of an electric guitar. Mental gymnastics.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
I was told drums are bad. Any song with a beat (which is pretty much all of them), because it induces the listener into a primal state, and I guess evil spirits can... I don't know, sneak into your head, or something?
Rebekah Krause 3 years ago
I was raised an evangelical Baptist and we were taught any from rhythms that emphasized an offbeat or the third beat. Supposedly emphasizing the offbeat made you more likely to dance (satanic) and emphasizing the third beat was mocking God. I can’t even begin to go over the stupid stuff we were taught, including most things from this article.
Load More Replies... Eric Mac Fadden 3 years ago
Nietzsche said: "Without Music, Life Would Be a Mistake". I don't agree with everything he said, but this one is my motto
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
What would be the meaning of life without music?
Load More Replies... #74
Frickin hell, professional basketball… Edit: for those asking, it has to do with the NBA supporting BLM. Although the majority of my church supports the purpose of BLM, they don’t follow it because of the violence they’ve caused in my town. However, this crazy woman said that BLM was the work of satan, and I just think she’s completely wrong.
Joel Strauss 3 years ago
I swear I read this twice before I realized you weren't talking about the Bureau of Land Management! It's early here and I haven't had my coffee yet.
Ann Dennis 3 years ago
LOL! Same here the first time I saw" BLM" in a headline.That tends to happen to folks from out in the country.
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#75
The song Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Eurythmics.
John Carr 3 years ago
Maybe because Annie Lennox had extremely short (and brightly orange dyed) hair at the time and wore mens suits. She was once even accused of travelling on a false passport when entering the US - the immigration official thought that she was a man in drag with a womans passport :D
Frying Pan 3 years ago
I'm listening to that song right now...it's amazing, how dare this person insult it
BakedKahuna 3 years ago
Maybe because of the beat which makes you want to dance and this could lead to sex??
#76
I used to go to a Christian private school and I argued to all of my classmates that Korn was satanic. I hadn't heard any of their music or seen them, but someone on the internet said it and that was legit enough for me. I still cringe.
Flash Henry 3 years ago
The teachers in my Catholic high school were convinced I was a devil worshiper because of the bands I listened to, all metal and rock. Korn was one of them.
Ghosts 3 years ago
Brian Welch (guitarist) left the band & released Christian rock album. Not sure why you were downvoted.
Load More Replies... #77
Catholicism. Evangelicals are weird.
Jette Wang Wahnon 3 years ago
In my catholic school we were not allowed any make up or pierced ears (vanity one of the 7 deadly sins)...back-fired, because one year some little French girls attended our school and as they had their ears pierced and wearing ear rings we asked why they could have pierced ears and not us...the answer...because they were hard of hearing and that helped them to hear better...
#78
Birthdays. The Bible mentions a couple and they ended badly. Hence birthday's must be "satanic"... one more reason to celebrate!!
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
No, their reasoning is that celebrating your own birth is putting yourself above Christ
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Darren Fusellier 3 years ago
So ironic, preaching from the world's biggest fairy tale, it's not even a decent read FFS. Silly wankers lol
#79
DnD, but strangely enough not the Lord of the Rings.
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
You're not wrong, but Tolkien created an entire backstory mythology counter to the biblical mythology. I personally love LoTR, by the way!
Load More Replies... #80
Once I had a classmate and she had a cartilage piercing. We had an assembly and this group of people with puppets came and told the story of easter, at the end we were walking out and one of the people from the group walked over to my classmate and said "what is that thing on your ear?" She said its a cartilage piercing and the person from the group walked over to where the group was packing their stuff and said "She has definitely got to have worshipped the devil. That disgusting ear piercing she's got."
#81
When I was young around 5-7 years old my mom threw away a Hobgoblin toy because Radio Vision Christiana said to rid your home of satanic images. I remember it because it was the first time my Mom lied to me because she told me she didn't know what happened to it.
#82
The Little Mermaid.
GirlFriday 3 years ago
Ursula was the devil and she tempted Ariel into giving up her voice for pleasures of the flesh. In the end, Ariel enjoyed the pleasures of the flesh so much that she abandoned her family in Christ to walk amongst the sinners. Yep. Totally satanic.
Virgil Blue 3 years ago
Weird, people in the sea can probably do a lot more interesting pleasures of the flesh with the zero buoyancy and all. Plus dolphins. Don't ask about the dolphins.
Load More Replies... Orbitale 3 years ago
well she lure good Christian men, swimming almost naked all day ...i guess ?
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#84
One time my wife’s cousin was watching Seinfeld. Their Grandma, bless her heart, comes into the room, sees Seinfeld on the tv and says, “Turn this off right now. How could you watch this p**nography?!”
What do you think ?
Swan 3 years ago
everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...
Helmut Kok 3 years ago
And those that say it can't explain what commuism is
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Kira Okah 3 years ago
My friend was called demon possessed because of her medical necklace - she had a caduceus pendant with her medical info on it. Not because of her having allergies or any of her medical issues, but because it was a caduceus. Apparently, the caduceus is the symbol of Enki, and Enki is apparently the leviathan, so carrying his symbol means he's possessing her or something such like that. It was weird.
Elleana Sky Lopez 3 years ago
In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.
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Suzi Q 3 years ago
I want you to know that most Christians aren't like that. There's some Uber extreme "Christians" (think "Footloose" whacks,) that thinks everything is satanic that doesn't "glorify God." You hear about them more because it's outrageous. Most Christians focus on leading by example, not fire and brimstone. There's a woman at my church who makes the best deviled eggs and they all love Harry Potter. It makes me mad that those zealots ruin it for normal people.
Kandi Heiple 3 years ago
Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians
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KimB 3 years ago
I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)
Gonzalo Terán 3 years ago
The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...
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Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
Christians in the posts above: "Life must be boring! Don't do anything except praise god and cover your body with long flowing clothes! No dancing! No movies! No tattoos! No bacon! No toys which look like something at all!" .... Muslim extremists: "YES! WE AGREE"... Christians in the posts above... "No, not like that. You guys are also satanic."
Commander OwO 3 years ago
Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!
Swan 3 years ago
everything they don't like don't want to exist don't know don't WANT to know...
Helmut Kok 3 years ago
And those that say it can't explain what commuism is
Load More Replies... Kira Okah 3 years ago
My friend was called demon possessed because of her medical necklace - she had a caduceus pendant with her medical info on it. Not because of her having allergies or any of her medical issues, but because it was a caduceus. Apparently, the caduceus is the symbol of Enki, and Enki is apparently the leviathan, so carrying his symbol means he's possessing her or something such like that. It was weird.
Elleana Sky Lopez 3 years ago
In the Christian Bible, the book of Job, God talks about his great work making the Leviathan. He was incredibly proud of that creature and it was just that, a sea beast.
Load More Replies... Suzi Q 3 years ago
I want you to know that most Christians aren't like that. There's some Uber extreme "Christians" (think "Footloose" whacks,) that thinks everything is satanic that doesn't "glorify God." You hear about them more because it's outrageous. Most Christians focus on leading by example, not fire and brimstone. There's a woman at my church who makes the best deviled eggs and they all love Harry Potter. It makes me mad that those zealots ruin it for normal people.
Kandi Heiple 3 years ago
Tell the other Christians, not us. Ive had nothing but bad experiences with Christians
Load More Replies... KimB 3 years ago
I couldn't read these without hearing Kathy Bates saying "that's the devil" : D (The Waterboy)
Gonzalo Terán 3 years ago
The problem is that in almost every post here, the outcome was like Kathy Bates, but in Misery...
Load More Replies... Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Epilepsy. My own grandmothers. One insisted on calling a priest, another gave us stuff ot "ward away the devil". Really? .... *sigh*
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago (edited)
The more I read about these truly horrible, racist, homophobic, fanatical idiots, the more I'm rooting for Satan.
You cant stop the truth 3 years ago
Christians in the posts above: "Life must be boring! Don't do anything except praise god and cover your body with long flowing clothes! No dancing! No movies! No tattoos! No bacon! No toys which look like something at all!" .... Muslim extremists: "YES! WE AGREE"... Christians in the posts above... "No, not like that. You guys are also satanic."
Commander OwO 3 years ago
Existing is satanic because then you are allowing devils to *possibly* possess you. Not existing prevents this, so let's stop existing!
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