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Here’s another FRIENDS reference for all you fans out there. You likely recall the episode where Ross Geller began speaking at a lecture with a fake British accent out of nervousness. He tried to slyly phase it out until his students noticed, urging him to come clean.
But unlike Ross, these people who shared their stories on Reddit many years ago chose to live out their lies. They chose the “fake it ‘til you make it” route, even if it meant altering their realities, some of them, for good.
How can someone keep a charade going for years? Read on to find out.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
This is a lie with a happy ending and I'll take it to my grave.
TLDR: Mom prayed for help to fund a trip with her kids; thinks he delivered
Background - My mother is a very emotional person and there are 5 boys in my family. So she doesn't get to have alot of emotion moments that she gets to share with her kids. We mostly just make fucn of her (in a playful way) and everyone moves on. She has cried at every big, medium, and small event in our lives, and I love that I have a woman in my life that cares so much about me and my siblings.
Background 2 - I was a jerk of a kid. But I am actively trying to make up for the patience my parents had for me.
Story - My parents are almost empty nesters and live in Colorado, last year by complete mistake all of her kids found jobs/school in Utah County, Utah. We all live about 20 minutes from each other, completely on a fluke. My mother decided she wanted to take up on one last road trip, so we flew in to Colorado, and she drove us back home. It doesnt sound like too much, but my family is poor and it was a very nice gesture. Plus there are places on the way we always used to stop at, like the Little America Hotel in WY. And the Grand America brunch buffet. All of this is far too expensive for my parents so on the way I discreetly called and payed for everything, or would sneak out during a meal to "go to the bathroom" and would slip a waiter a card.
At each stop the staff would play along and mention how the room had to be changed so they gave it to us for free, or how a kind stranger payed for our meal. And I was never caught. My family's appreciation for the amazing people of the midwest was too much for my mother and she broke down to me and told me how she had no idea how she was going to pay for our trip but she did it anyway because she wanted to be with her boys one last time before we were all too busy, or she too old. She then told me how she prayed for help and God gave it to her.
I am not religious, but my Mom is and there is no way I'm going to tell her the most spiritual experience she had had in a long time was her sneaky son.
Love you Mama.
edit: Moral of the story kids, being good to your parents can get you gold. Doooo iiiiiit.
Stardust she/her 4 weeks ago
I’m also not religious but I’d say that your mother was right because god blessed your mom with a son like you
Parmeisan 4 weeks ago
I was about to say the same. I am also not religious (I'm more of a "we can't know either way" person) but surely God could simply have acted through her son to grant her prayer.
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Alex Mosby 4 weeks ago
She thought God answered her prayers through kind strangers, but it was someone she knew.
my sox are in flux 3 weeks ago
I mean, in a way, God did pay for the trip. He used you and your love for your mom to do it. Some miracles are ordinary acts of love.
RELATED:
#2
When I was a little kid, I told my mom I really liked her tuna casserole. I was just trying to be nice and pay her a compliment since she seemed like she was having a bad day.
Pretty much every time I go to visit her she has some tuna casserole waiting for me. I don't actually like tuna casserole that much, but it's such a sweet gesture that I don't have the heart to tell her to stop. This has been going on for over thirty years now.
Mari 1 month ago
It is very sweet. I have a friend who makes a traditional soup that I don't like. I was always eating it because I knew she had a lot of work and made it with love. One day I said to her: "I remember once you made a vegetarian lasagna and I loved it so much". From that day on she always makes that lasagna when I am coming over. And I am so glad that I can compliment her without lying.
Billo66 1 month ago
My sister in law gifted us with dill pickles. She made them with apple cider vinegar instead of white. They were horrible, but we told her how good they were and then we were inundated with nasty pickles. Yes, I know this is an episode of Andy Griffith. That's why we referred to them as "Aunt Bea Pickles" God bless her.
glowworm2 4 weeks ago
I immediately thought of that episode of Andy Griffith.
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Leigh 4 weeks ago
I dont like fish or mushrooms but i still love moms tuna casserole! Only time ill eat it.
Mike F 4 weeks ago
Holy cow, I thought I was the only one who put mushrooms in it.
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Nira Amana 4 weeks ago
We have this really nasty dish in my country, nobody likes it, it is almost out of fashion, but generation of my granma used to cook it a lot. Pasta, cabbage and powdered sugar. My friend told me a story how all his family, after his grandma's funeral, came back to her house and there was a massive pot of this dish, left behind by granma, bit past its date. Whole family sat down and ate it in silence, cause it was the last thing she ever cooked. Very bittersweet
Antoinette Bas Dohmen Lipperts 3 weeks ago
When my grandparents had their birthdays, we would have a meal there. With bread, rolls, pastries and homemade potato salad. My grandma realized that i can not eat that. Because i’m a vegetarian ( since i was 12) and she didn’t like that. So she made the big plate ( with meat) and a small plate without meat.. back than being vegetarian was not that common so i was really happy she took that effort.. so then every birthday/holiday there was a little vegetarian plate for me… eventhough she ( as a farmer) thought being a vegetarian is silly..writing this in the kitchen she used to make it in… we live there now. She sadly passed away because of covid
Robin Roper 4 weeks ago
OP should tell her that something has changed in his/her digestive system and they can no longer tolerate the combination of whatever mom puts in the casserole.
#3
A couple years ago, I went to a bar in a town I didn't expect to be in very often, and I decided to don a Scottish accent and make up a back story for a fictitious version of myself.
Now, I doubt my accent would have fooled someone actually *from* Edinburgh, but by the end of the night I had a group of Americans and one bemused Australian chatting with me about the things that make the US a strange place to visit from abroad. Shots were bought, back slaps given, and a good night had; I thought nothing else of it.
...until I was dating a girl from the next town over, and she took me to her favorite bar. That bar. We walked in, someone greeted my by my "name", and I did the only thing I could do -- cheerfully donned my fraudulent accent, explained that my business trip had been indefinitely extended, and spent the next twenty minutes furtively explaining to my date that I wasn't a con man, just an ex actor with terrible impulse control.
glowworm2 4 weeks ago
This is pretty cute though. Especially explaining the persona to the probably confused date afterwards.
Babs Ishkabibble 4 weeks ago
Pretty cute? Sure, if you're into fakery and lies.
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Pferdchen 4 weeks ago
He clearly has to visit Edinburgh, just some he can honestly say he's from there. You know, just like the people who visit Harvard once and say they went to Harvard 😀
BeesEelsAndPups 4 weeks ago
When I was last in Edinburgh, I got drunk as hell. Exactly drunk enough that my friends, all Scottish, goaded me into doing my very best Scottish accent. I am not good at accents. They nearly pissed themselves with laughter.
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LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I did this once, when I was a teenager of 13 or 14, babysitting my best friend's little cousins with him XD Little cousins were maybe 5 and 7 at the time and one of the days my friend and I babysat, the older cousin had some of her friends over. I, for some reason, decided to employ my "Acting with an Accent" cassette tape skills and pretended I was from Scotland. My friend blinked, but he knew I was a weird kid, so he rolled with it and played along XD I probably sounded about as ludicrously over the top as Groundskeeper Willie (luckily they were young kids!) XD And so, every time we went back over to babysit his cousins again, I had to remember to put on the Scottish accent for them XD After a while it sort of turned into a cute game where I had the cousins "help" me "sound more American" and we "worked" on my Scottish accent sounding less Scottish. I still feel bad that I deceived a bunch of younger kids when I was a kid, though XD
Emma London 4 weeks ago
I have a really extrovert friend who decided that in one particular bar she was a native english speaker named this-and-this (We are European) She befriended the bar personnel and now every time we go I'll have to brace myself for an evening in English. (Which isn't that hard but it's irritating when you just wanted to releax and take it easy that night.)
K Barnes 4 weeks ago (edited)
I have a coworker who does this... goes out to the bar and makes up elaborate fictitious stories about her life to strangers. I don't get the appeal but she thinks it's an excellent pastime. This coworker is one of the most selfish and spoiled people I know who doesn't care about others at all if it means her enjoyment or benefit.
#4
My brother had a gf with a younger sister my age and they all came to watch me play baseball once. I was pretty smitten with the younger sister and so after the game I started bragging about how I played guitar. My brother laughed in my face and said I had got a guitar but it had been collecting dust for months and I'd never have the patience to learn an instrument anyway.
I was so embarrassed by being called out and doubted, I went home, told my mom I wanted to take lessons again, and here I am 20 years later still playing guitar every day.
sbj 1 month ago
Nice to hear about the guitar but what I really want to know, did anything happen between you and the younger sister?
CP 4 weeks ago (edited)
That got me thinking. How often do siblings marry siblings from the same family? It seems like the opportunity is there when meeting the new family.
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#5
Well... There's a lot about my past I keep secret from 99% of people I know or will ever know - and that is I used to be a prostitute and was hooked on ice for a few years. I've always struggled with depression and for a while I was in a very low place that led to some terrible decisions in my life. Even my family (except for my immediate family) I had to keep up a lie that I was doing these other respectable jobs and was successful in life because I was too ashamed to admit the truth. And the few genuine friends I had I confided in and eventually they gave up on me as a lost cause. Now I haven't done that job for a while and I actually do have a 'respectable' job now and have gone back to university to pursue my dreams. Fingers crossed..
Laserleader 1 month ago
Good for you. My sister proudly calls herself a "hotel h00ker" because of her many bad decisions, but that doesnt make me love her less. I just wish she keeps making good ones like you have.
Earonn - 4 weeks ago
I wish people would finally stop being shytes and no longer look down on prostitvtes. Se.x workers deliver a service that is apparently in high demand. You don't like it? Then don't buy it. Or at least be angry at the men who pay for se.x. I wonder what would happen if somehow the name and face of every man who ever went to a se.xworker became public. Using one's body to make a living isn't shameful. Stealing from others is shameful. Not paying taxes is shameful. Being a slum lord or corrupt politician is shameful.
Apatheist Account2 4 weeks ago
Agreed. It's only the ultra-moralistic and religious who think there's anything wrong with it, but as long as there's no coercion involved, there's really nothing wrong with it. Now that we can have safe s3x for pleasure and not procreation, the reasons for being against it have disappeared.
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Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Not sharing a piece of private information that is no one else's business is not lying. You're not obligated to give others private information be that medical or personal.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Even the crappiest person is not defined by their job, so why would a great person be defined by a past job, even a questionable job? Good on OP for her success
#6
When I was 13 I was playing world of Warcraft and someone asked me my age. 13 was so young so I lied and said I was 14, cause that meant I was so much more mature. Well I kept playing wow, with the same group of people, and 4 years later they thought I was 18.
Someone started asking me how my applications to college were going since I was that age. Being caught in the lie about my age I played along and asked for advice. I played along with the advice which resulted in me actually putting in a college application to a university and.... I got in. As a high school junior.
So to keep up this lie about my age I now had to finish high school quickly so I could actually go to this university that accepted me. Great part is that I was able to do this by overloading my spring semester of "Senior" year high school with online classes (yay Florida online high school). I managed to graduate high school a year early and went to university a year early to keep this lie going.
So here I am, at a university 1000miles from my home state, finished my BS and am now doing a masters, all because 14 sounded way more mature than 13 on a video game.
(Sorry for formatting, on my cell phone in the lab I am working in for my masters project, lol).
Parmeisan 4 weeks ago
This is a really cute story but I have trouble with the idea that it would be hard to admit the lie later. Am I weird in this? They were just a kid at the time, at age 20 or so if you still hang out with this online group I think it would be easy to go, "So funny story guys, when I was 13....."
Plentyofoomph 4 weeks ago
I have a hard time any university would accept you without seeing valid ID
#7
I was scared of heights and would get sick by the sight of blood. needed a job, lied about all this to become a firefighter.
I love my job, drive an ambulance too and overcame my fears.
Mari 1 month ago
Great you overcame your fears! I wanted to become a nurse but I was too afraid of blood. I gave up my studies. A few years later, my MIL became very ill and I was her private nurse for many years. I learned everything from insuline shots to measuring her blood tension to wash her on her bed. I could handle everything, it is a shame I didn't study because of my fears.
K Barnes 4 weeks ago
I used to be terrible afraid of blood but after 15 years as an elementary teacher it no longer bothers me. Lots of exposure therapy helped me get over it when I had no choice. Glad you got over your fears, too.
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kansasmagic 4 weeks ago
Um...don't you need some kind of qualifications to be a firefighter or EMT? It's not just two questions about heights and blood.
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
You do but probationary firefighters get started and then take classes to certify. So that's probably what they are referring to
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Anne Roberts 4 weeks ago
You are in a wonderful and helpful profession. Kudos to you for overcoming your fears!
#8
Pretty silly but I think it fits the bill. When I was about 5 I remember being in the bathroom and brushing my teeth. My mum was there and berated me for something. Later, being a sensitive child, I was crying in bed about it. My parents came in all concerned and my mum asked: "was it because I yelled at you earlier?". Embarrassed at being caught out so easily I said " no.. I'm sad because.. Because I can't swim". Soon after I was taken to swimming lessons. I hated swimming.
LB 1 month ago
I mean all kids should learn how to swim... Maybe not if they live in a desert.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
As someone from Arizona, most definitely learn if you live in the desert. "Living in the desert" does not mean you will never ever not once come across a body of water to swim in. Swimming pools are EVERYWHERE in Phoenix and Tucson, and places in and around Sedona, Flagstaff, and other areas are have lots of rivers and lakes. So yeah, EVERYONE should learn how to swim.
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Alexia 4 weeks ago
This reminds me of my own similar experience. My mother was a hysterical, abus1ve parent who used to yell at me, belittle and beat me for anything, even for the smallest trifles (for ex. if I spilled a glass of water). And this happened daily. She once beat me so badly that my face was full of blood. One evening, I was in bed and I started crying uncontrollably. She heard me and snapped at me: "stop it or I'll give you reasons to cry". I lied to her that I had had a bad dream. In reality, I was crying because I wanted to d1e. I couldn't take being treated like that anymore, and I was making plans for su1cide. I was 9 years old. (I did have an attempt shortly after, but somebody unknowingly stopped me). Currently I am LC with her for many years already; she is now a very religious person. She said she was sorry but she is not able to process how badly she damaged me. And I still wonder if I should tell her about it, or take the secret to my grave.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I'm sorry, friend. I was in the same place you were through my entire childhood and young adulthood with my mother (I never escaped her, and I attempted su!cide seriously twice, stopped myself at the last second because of my cat.) I can tell you that my mother is now 80, about to turn 81, and she thinks she was a great mother. If I ever try to tell her about any of the abúse, she immediately goes into this dramatic yelling fit of "Oh, so I was a TERRIBLE mother, I KNOW, blame me for EVERYTHING" (which is true, but not what I was trying to tell her, I was just trying to talk to her gently about it.) She will never change, and it is unlikely your mother will either :( Even though your mother may have "found religion", she may just be using it as a cover for any bad feelings she has of guilt or shame. Which means she doesn't actually care that she hurts you, she just doesn't want to feel bad HERSELF that she hurt you. You can try talking to her and couching it as an absolution.
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Zac Boliek 4 weeks ago
i also hate swimming. but i hate drowning more so you know if i gotta chose i guess ill choose to swim when i need to. everyone should know how to honestly. its sad to see how many kids drown in family swimming pools every year, especially when they were more than old enough to be taught how to swim. i mean, you can teach a 6 month old baby to hold their breath and roll onto their back when they fall into water, so its really on the parents every time for not teaching the kids how to swim ( i know sometimes the kid can swim but cant get themselves out so they get too tired to continue but even then its still the parents fault for not securing the d**n pool)
#9
I'm the kind of person that always leaves my shoes tied and just slips them on. I'm dating this girl for a couple months and then one day my shoe gets untied but I'm too lazy to retie it. It really bothers her and she insists on me tying it. I really don't want to bend over and do it for some reason. It was around the time when Liam Neeson got his shoe tied by Olivia Wilde and I was crazy jealous because I really liked Olivia Wilde since watching House.
She eventually asks me "Don't you know how to tie your shoes???". In my head I'm seeing Liam Neeson getting his shoes tied by Oliva Wilde and how cool it looks. So I say "No... I never learned how, you can't tell anyone..."
To this day, when my shoe gets untied in public she will pull me off to the side away from other people and secretly tie my shoe. For some reason it makes her happy and it's the sweetest thing ever. I can't understand how she would even tolerate a grown man who doesn't know how to tie his own shoe! I'll never be Liam Neeson cool, but I've found my Oliva Wilde.
arthbach 4 weeks ago
Poppy, too right. If an adult doesn't know how to do an adult thing, teach them, but don't do it for them.
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Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
My wife taught one of her kindergarten students how to tie his shoes. It took a little longer than most because he had only one arm. She first taught herself how to tie her shoes with one arm, and then it was easy to show him.
Ghostchaplain16 4 weeks ago
Upvote for your wife Michael. My wife (retired) and my daughter were/are elementary school teachers, and God love them all, it's anything but easy. That your wife took the time to learn and then teach this skill is a big deal; and likely one of a thousand similar big deals she does as a teacher!
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Joey Marlin 4 weeks ago
I do walk with a stick, mainly for balance but I have osteoarthritis at quite a young age, but the number of times a complete stranger has offered to do up my shoelaces when they come undone! I always think it's very kind but I struggle with the idea of it and I am mostly capable (may take me some time to get back up again!). When I had my flu vaccine recently I was struggling to get my hoodie back on and the pharmacist offered to help. I'm not that old and I didn't think I looked quite that useless! Though apparently I do... I'm never offended, just slightly disheartened!
BrunoVI 4 weeks ago (edited)
I have absolutely never tripped over my untied shoelaces. How could you possibly trip over a lace? But it seems to totally freak out about one third of public, to the point where they absolutely can't stop obsessing over them being untied. Strangers absolutely demanding you tie them THIS INSTANT! NOW! WHERE THEY COULD SEE YOU! "As soon as I get someplace comfortable to do so" WILL NOT DO! YOU COULD TRIP!!! Oh, God, You're going to fall and break your neck!!! They;ll chase you down! So one day the boss's admin assistant can see my shoelace. It's tied, but the ends are long, because the laces are very, very long. So to make her happy, I have to make a big ol' loop for each lace. Which I then proceed to stick my other shoe into and fall on my face.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Autism has many symptoms and behaviors and one of them is late learning childhood lessons like shoe-tying.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
Except that's not what is happening with OP. OP KNOWS how to tie their shoes, they just lied to their GF that they didn't. OP is not autistic.
Load More Replies... K Barnes 4 weeks ago
I think it's really embarrassing. It's not cute for an adult to not have a kindergarten skill (even pretending) and have someone do the most basic thing for them forever. Especially because they saw a celebrity do something. To each their own!
Load More Replies... #10
I had a coworker tell me he got married on accident. It was Christmas morning and he bought his girlfriend a ring as a Christmas present. They were both sitting around the tree and when she opened it she started to cry and said "well are you going to ask me." Thats when he realized what he had done. He got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. Moral of the story, don't ever buy a ring for a girl unless you are planning on marrying her.
Bob Brooce 4 weeks ago
Thank you. For some reason "on accident" really annoys me.
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Nadine Debard 4 weeks ago
My boyfriend offered me a wonderful ring for our first Christmas in front of his family, I froze and asked " is it... an engagement ring?" He said no, it's too early for that, just a nice ring I thought you would love. That's how you do. Now we're married.
Austzn 4 weeks ago (edited)
That's right, just as De Beers wants it to be. What's really sad is this person made a major life decision based on internalizing themes of marketing.
Gin 4 weeks ago
De Beers marketed diamonds, we have no idea if this was a diamond. If it wasn't meant to be an engagement ring it could have had any stone. De Beers didn't care about other stones.
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Joe Publique 4 weeks ago
Let's retire "on accident". It's horrendous. "By" shows how something happened (like "by accident"), and "on" shows why something happened (like "on purpose"). It's not hard.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Are rings a gift you give? Especially unseen. I would assume a regular jewelry gift of a ring is selected at a store with the intended fifteen picking it out, just like with a necklace or bracelet.
Epona 4 weeks ago
What does "intended fifteen" mean? As for "Are rings a gift you give?": My mom got given a ring when she was 21 with her birthstone (or maybe it was a small diamond, which is not her birthstone) in it from her dad after her mom passed away (as did her 3 siblings and their respective birthstones/diamonds). Some people give regular (as in non-engagement ring) rings as gifts because of family tradition.
Load More Replies... #11
That I am a functioning and productive member of society. Day 13,687 and they have no idea.
Cloud Ryn 1 month ago
Im a functioning member of society just not a productive one does that count?😀
Upstaged75 4 weeks ago
I'm barely functioning and only productive once in a while.
Load More Replies... SweetCheesySpaghetti 4 weeks ago
Same. I'm considered the screwup of my family despite having the highest paying job (career, really), a healthy marriage, and a very intelligent and happy child. I pay my taxes, I vote, and my bills are never late. I have a retirement find and life insurance policies for my family. I don't do d***s or drink in excess. But yea. I'm a screwup.
Kit Black 4 weeks ago
I think that says more about your family than it does about you - if they need to see you as a s***w up, clearly we can't rely on their judgment...
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#12
I am a professor and many times I will tell personal stories in an effort to demonstrate tough concepts. About half of these stories I made up at some point.
I don't remember which ones are real and which ones are lies. So I just go with them and don't worry about it.
Gareth 1 month ago
Learning through stories/history makes learning easier, keep teaching professor.
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Personalization is the key to making history engaging. A bunch of dry facts they never remember but the story about Peter the Great trying to slide around Europe incognito despite being a ridiculously tall red head with a Russian accent... that they remember and thus are able to remember about the reforms he brought to Russia as a result of that trip.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
I asked one of my students "Do you think I would ever lie to this class?" She relied "Well ... not about math." She knew me so well.
Thomas Gilfoyle 3 weeks ago
A colleague always said "Never let untruth stand in the way teaching a Truth."
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
That's fine. Just don't invent family members or pets you don't have to embellish your stories. Because people will later ask about them
Ghostchaplain16 4 weeks ago
Or if you're Ross Geller, maybe don't fake a British accent...
Load More Replies... #13
When I was a kid, for birthdays, my mom would always gets us whatever cake we wanted (chocolate, vanilla, cookie, ice cream, etc.). Well, one year (I was probably about 8 or 9), she got me an ice cream cake. I don't like ice cream cake AT ALL... it's not even cake! I like Cake, I like Ice cream, but not ice cream cake! Well, she was so happy that she "had gotten my favorite cake and flavor right" that I just went along with it....
Then next year, I got another ice cream cake.... still didn't say anything, not wanting to hurt her feelings again. And again the year after that. This has been going on every year since and I'm now 30....
Only my wife knows that I don't like ice cream cake, so each year she secretly gets me a cookie cake for at home and we don't tell my mom.
arthbach 4 weeks ago
How silly. A few weeks before your birthday, you say, "Mom, I have a new favourite flavour of cake. It's carrot cake. Is there any chance I might get one for my birthday this year?" Chances are the mom doesn't care what flavour of cake it is, just that she's providing the favourite one.
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
I'm confused because why wouldn't you tell mom she got it wrong? My mom is constantly mixing up which of us kids likes what and we just correct her.
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PawCamp 4 weeks ago
For my 16th birthday we were traveling to visit my dad in another state. I was given an ice cream cake. I am lactose intolerant. I ate it and paid for it, and never said a word about the disappointment. Sometimes, you know parents are trying and they are stressed and they think they did something wonderful, that you just don't want to bring up how dumb they were.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
That's... not okay, though. You have a medical condition that means you would be physically suffering and SICK after forcing yourself to eat that cake. That's not disappointment, that's practically masochism. It's not like you just dislike carrot cake and they got you a carrot cake - they got you a food that would make you physically ill to eat and you ate it anyway. That's a case where it may have been better to mention your condition, try to make it positive ("More cake for all of you guys!") and then maybe everyone could have taken a group trip to the grocery store for a safe cake - or even a cupcake.
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BrownEyedGrrl 4 weeks ago
For some reason, my mom thought my favorite kind of cake was Angel Food. She made one for my birthday for years. I HATE Angel Food cake, but pretended it was the best cake ever. I miss my mom and would give anything for one more of her cakes
#14
Met my wife on one of those telephone chat dating things in the 90's. Basically, before OKCupid, you would sign up for a voicemail and describe yourself. We connected and went out but were both embarrassed for using it. Fast forward 18 years, we continue to tell everyone we met in the music section at Borders.
Aileen Grist 4 weeks ago
My hubby put an ad in the local paper (Manchester Evening News - UK). I was the only one who answered their phone before 9 am on a Saturday morning, everyone else had answerphones, and I'm the only 1 he ever met.
Slmd 3 weeks ago
"Do you like pina coladas..." Literally meeting someone through a paper ad lol
Load More Replies... Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Before apps and websites, there was phone dates. Before that, ever since the invention of newspapers, there were personal ads, in some places there still are. Matrimonial ads were extremely common in the US from single men in isolated communities out west.
Tim Perry 4 weeks ago
I placed a personal ad and met my wife that way. Been married 34 years.
Load More Replies... #15
While me and my SO were still dating (maybe 2 weeks or so in), she winked at me when i walked into the pub she worked in. Me being the goof that i am winked back but messed it up on purpose and just sort of shut my eyes tight for a second, making her believe that I couldn't wink.
Now it's over 6 years later and she still doesn't think i'm capable of winking.
One of my favourite things to do is just stand behind her and wink normally, purely for my own amusement.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
I'm not from the UK so I don't get your comment jk
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#16
My sister has told our family that she was abducted by aliens. She says that that they come and take her once every few months and perform experiments on her. My parents found her an abduction support group and she has to go to meetings once a month. This has been going on for 7 years now. She told me that she was going to tell them initially it was an April Fools Day prank but she let it slide a little too long. Now look what happened.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
I first read the opening sentence as "My sister has told our family that she was adopted by aliens." I had that feeling many times growing up, most often when I was a teenager.
Laserleader 4 weeks ago
Aaaaaaand that is exactly how EVERY alien abduction happens, as well as almost every religion as well.
#17
Someone at work, who is grungy, a chain-smoker, and never washes her hands, made a carrot cake and was asking people to try it. I told them I was allergic to carrots. I love carrots. To this day whenever I order or bring a salad to work I have to have it with no carrots.
UnclePanda 4 weeks ago
Slowly start showing yourself eating tiny bits of carrots, always cut into 8 tiny pie slices. When she asks, tell her you're curing the problem with radial carrotomy.
UnclePanda 4 weeks ago
I'm here all week, folks, and twice on Sunday! Tell your friends!
Load More Replies... Parmeisan 4 weeks ago
This reminds me of the time we had a cake for a friend's birthday, but as another friend was cutting the cake he leaned down low and his gross, greasy hair fell across part of the cake. Afterward I insisted that everyone take a slice of cake home with them and was careful to give that piece to him.
#18
A lie I tell myself everyday - that I absolutely love my job
In reality, I like my job in that it is what I know to do best that will earn me money that pays my bills and a bit more, keeps me in a country that I like living in and honestly, I don't have any other hobby that is considered a productive use of my time
I'm envious of people who give up a paying job, take the risk of following a dream or a hobby and find happiness and eventually succeed in converting their hobby and passion into a vocation but I'm not one of them
So every morning, when I wake up, I tell myself that I absolutely love my job and that I will do it to the best of my ability and that I will never regret working in IT but I that's not really entirely true.
Debbie 4 weeks ago
Nonono do not turn your hobby into work. It so often kills the spark. It's ok to just work and do enjoyable things outside of work. (Though work should not be miserable, you need at least a nice team/colleges y to keep going).
Upstaged75 4 weeks ago
Yup. I tried it several times. (Horses) It just made me hate my hobby. Not that I love sitting at a desk writing emails all day, but it pays a lot better and is climate controlled. 😊
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Laserleader 4 weeks ago
I gave up driving for tourism and seniors to start my own courier service, after seeing repeated other delivery app businesses fail I designed one that worked in my hometown. I like my job sometimes, but I admit I often forget I love driving under the business pressure, until I see a golden sunset, snowy mountaintops, and the sparkling ocean. Keeps me going.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Your own personal cheer team. This skill will come in handy when you do decide to make a change
#19
When I was 10 I learned i could make myself throw up, so I used this to get out of school for like two weeks. My parents couldn't figure what was wrong with me because I didn't have a fever or anything. My aunt had the idea that I was allergic to red food dye, because her grandson (my second cousin) was. I just kinda rolled with it, and so for years my house never had red Gatorade it strawberry pop tarts etc.
I eventually told my parents I was faking it when I turned 20, they were not amused.
Lee Banks 1 month ago
I too discovered i could vomit on cue. Definitely used it to get out of things. My mom got super conncerend after several years and took me to a specialist. Turns out i not only have severe acid reflux, but was missing an important part of my digestive tract. Had major surgery abput six months later. The Dr. said that it would have likely caused esophogeal cancer in a few years. Faking it literally allowed me to make it.
Gin 4 weeks ago (edited)
Why would the lack of a fever mean that the child wasn't ill though? I mean, ignoring the fact that this child wasn't sick!! Many gastric illnesses occur without a fever, especially if it's caused by viruses like norovirus or bacteria such as Clostridium. The absence of a fever is seriously no indicator that the child isn't unwell. Go by other symptoms.
Laserleader 4 weeks ago
Why didn't the parents get an actual allergy test? They just guessed and never bothered to be sure. Vomiting is not a minor thing.
#20
I've been holding in my stomach for about 15 years now.
OneHappyPuppy 4 weeks ago
Hey me too! My aunt did that, I learned how to as well and now I do it without even trying to
Laserleader 4 weeks ago
Probably have great posture though (because you gotta pull those shoulders back to make the look work).
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I think OP is trying to say that they "suck in their gut/fat".
Load More Replies... #21
A girl I lived with two years ago thought I was stealing her yoghurt out of the fridge. I told her it couldn't have been me since I'm allergic to dairy, and now I still can't eat dairy in front of her or anyone from that friend group. She made me a dairy free cake for my birthday - the guilt is eating me alive.
Edit: yeah I ate the yoghurt and it was delicious. Also am not a guy!
#22
When I was younger I walking home at night and the street lights were off, I got scared and starting running, knocked myself clean out on a lamppost. Someone walking their dog found me and called the ambulance. I was that embarrassed when I woke up I told the nurse I was mugged (I was 12). My parents turned up at the same time as the police. I gave a description that sounded a lot like gonzo from the muppets and police were searching the area with sniffer dogs. Thank Christ nobody was arrested and I still haven't told my parents.
TiNaBoNiNa 4 weeks ago
With all of the doorbell cameras now, OP wouldn't have been able to get away with this today. It would, however, make a great fail video.
Debby Keir 4 weeks ago
Some places get dark before even school lets out and a 12 year old doesn't need to be escorted by mummy and daddy.
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#23
In an ironic twist of fate, I used to tell people that I had a heart condition, and that's why I took pills daily (it's actually Prozac).
Found out about a year and some change ago that I do, in fact, have a heart condition.
I lied so hard that I *retroactively gave myself a heart condition.*.
TiNaBoNiNa 4 weeks ago
A quick Google search shows one of the uncommon side affects of prolonged Prozak usage is heart issues.
BookFanatic 4 weeks ago
It can also cause wicked indigestion. I started Prozac abt 2 wks ago and thought i was having a heart attack until I did some judicious Googling.
Load More Replies... Papa 4 weeks ago
When I was a child I saw my mother taking a pill daily. When I asked she said it was to keep her from getting sick. I was much older than I should have been when I realized it was birth control pills. I thought she had some chronic disease and the pills were keeping her alive.
Luke Branwen 4 weeks ago
♫ I lied so hard 'bout my ill heart... in the end, I have to take these tablets ♫
#24
When I was 16, I had a school exam to take on a Wednesday. I had not studied for it, and was too lazy to, so I told my mother that I was sick. She kept me home from school, and I BSed and played video games and whatever.
Thursday rolls around, and I was still lazy and hadn't studied. I told my mother I was still sick, and I just wasn't able to go to school. She told me ok, but if I was sick again the next day, we were going to see a Dr. That was cool, I had intended to study that night for the exam anyway.
Friday comes, and yet again, my lazy teenager hadn't studied. So, yet again, I'm wayyy to sick to go to school. My mother says ok, pack up, we're going to the Dr. I thought, "Whatever, we've got insurance and they'll just tell me I have the flu." So, to the Dr. we went.
So, after a multitude of tests and stupid human tricks, I was diagnosed with appendicitis, and scheduled to have my appendix removed. I argued and said that couldn't be the problem, and, of course, the Dr. knew better. I was too far in at this point, and couldn't simply say "Sorry, mom. I was lying to get out of a stupid school test." So, here I am twenty years later with no appendix.
SomeFaustkateer 4 weeks ago
The doctor d**n well DID know better but shortly afterward he finally got that new boat he’d had his eye on.
Child of the Stars 1 month ago
Not to mention the inherent risks of anesthesia and surgery.
Load More Replies... Laserleader 4 weeks ago
Yeah but it can properly diagnosed without surgery
Load More Replies... Kit Black 4 weeks ago
All that does is confirm an infection. There have to be other symptoms to call it appendicitis.
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Sam Trudeau 4 weeks ago
*inhales* QUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!
#25
So once upon a time, I was sitting at lunch with friends in 9th grade. I was feeling under the weather (sore throat). That day, a friend of mine brought an enormous bag of Skittles to share. We all were having a jolly ole time (eating as well as pelting them at one another). Then my throat got really bad. I expressed this by touching my throat. I needed a moment before I could even think of speaking to explain. Someone proclaimed, "She's allergic to skittles!" Indeed, my throat did begin to close up. However, it was not due to a histamine reaction, but something closer to a throat that was further irritated by pure fructose.
Thus began my life as the girl who couldn't taste the rainbow.
Feel the Pain 4 weeks ago
OMG this happened to me once, I almost chocked on a skittle that was half in my mouth and half in my stomach (it felt that way) and no one around knew it was happening. I also can't taste the rainbow...
#26
That I am allergic to bees. I was so scared of them in grade school and junior high, that I convinced everybody that I am allergic so they don't judge me when I run from bees.
Dragons Exist 4 weeks ago
Why would you need an excuse to run from bees??? Even if you're not allergic you still wouldn't want to get stung by one
#27
When I was a kid, I got the bright idea to put a knotted cherry stem under my tongue, and then show my sister an untied stem and magically tie it in a knot in my mouth in seconds. Fast forward about 20 years my entire extended family thinks I have this weird ability to tie knots with my tongue... it's a complete lie. At this point I refuse to do it, and get, almost defensive when people bring it up or ask to show it again. Pretty sure I got the idea from the simpsons or pete & pete and now has stuck with me as a curse.
Debby Keir 4 weeks ago
My father told us he knew where to buy sliced bananas (still in their skin) Every banana was cut into slices - we thought it wonderful. Learned many years later how to do it.... (needle or sewing thread)
Nikki Sevven 4 weeks ago
I actually know someone who can legit do this, and I've watched her.
Load More Replies... #28
TL;DR - pretended I was the runner up to Daniel Radcliffe in the casting of Harry Potter.
In the UK there was an meant to be an "open call" for Harry Potter auditions. But due to the fiasco over the director of the first film it never happened.
However I'd still sent my letter off as suggested by the tv show Blue Peter who announced it.
I never heard back but for some reason my 11yr old brain was really mad at not getting a chance. When I started secondary school people kept telling me how much I looked like Harry Potter (the illustrated one the books showed, not Daniel Radcliffe, because at that point the news hadn't broken yet).
To this day I've no idea why I just went all in and told my school mates I'd gone all the way to the final auditions.
When Daniel Radcliffe was confirmed everyone asked me what he was like so I told them he was horrible lol (yeah, pre-pubescent me was jealous at all!!)
I kept that up all through secondary school until we left just because it was too embarrassing to admit otherwise
And no, I haven't met Daniel Radcliffe.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I actually auditioned for the voice of Young Nala in The Lion King when I was a kid XD (My mom had pushed me into child acting.) The script I read from was VERY different than how the movie turned out! (And yes, I DO have a page on IMDb, but no, I didn't get the part of Young Nala, lol)
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Tom Felton, the guy cast as Draco Malfoy, says in his book that he was auditioning for the Harry Potter character, and he had little clue about the character as he hadn't read the book.
Brian Droste 4 weeks ago (edited)
I thought I heard that Daniel Radcliff was a jerk. I could be wrong though. Anyone knows otherwise. You can correct me.
Lucas 4 weeks ago
He had a wee battle with alcoholism for a while - that could well explain any jerk tendencies during that time but what I've read about him tends to be positive. Though unless you actually know someone, who can be sure?
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#29
Told my employer that I was Jewish. Not Jewish. Had to research all the holidays, pick a temple to be a member of, etc.
Had to get a new job.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 4 weeks ago
OP said on Reddit it was because they attended serviced with a Jewish friend so it was so they could get out of work to go with them.
Load More Replies... Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
You idiot. You could've been a non-observant Jew from a non-observant family
BookFanatic 4 weeks ago
My BF did that all through college. Legit had everyone believing it. When we started dating, I told him I was looking forward to learning more about Hannukah. He told me he just lied about it to see how many people he could get to believe him. Weird man.
#30
I have to pretend to have a bad memory because when I remember small or insignificant details people tend to get a little weird about it.
Stardust she/her 4 weeks ago
Same! My memory gets so creepily accurate at times that people are both amazed and creeped out when I bring up what they said 3 months ago on a Wednesday at 11am
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Same. That look they give you like you're a stalker or something
Load More Replies... kansasmagic 4 weeks ago
By "remember" do you mean "constantly remind and harass other people about what they said/did"?
Zac 4 weeks ago (edited)
they might, but i have to do this too, like ill be talking to my friends on a discord call a week after seeing them in person, and one was like "d**n i cant find my blue rubber airpod case" and i was like "its in the mesh bowl on the dining room table at your moms house under the fake pears" and sometimes that level of detailed memory does freak people out and they want an explanation for how you remember it. idk i remember it because i saw you put it there last week. but that isnt always a good enough answer and some people truly do get offended by it. its just how my brain works. i cant remember where my wallet is but i know i have a single red paperclip under the bottom corner of the 6th sheet of paper on a stack on my desk that i set there a month ago. basically if i make a decision to remember something i do forever.
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Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
I'm glad you see how it can intimidate others to be good at something they aren't. Self-awareness is helpful
#31
When I was a kid and playing on xbox live with people from all over the world, I used to put on this dutch-sounding accent when talking to new people, partly because I didn't like how my normal accent sounded, especially when hearing it back, and also because I was/am weird. I met some good friends throughout the year or so that I did it. I'm still in touch but no where near as much as we used to be, we'll have a skype call every now and again, and even after 6-7 years, I still put the accent on to them. Obviously with us being good friends, I also lied about an awful lot of background things. It's like I created this other person. I never intended for it to go like this, but I could never tell them I've lied about my accent, which stemmed in to a bunch of other things... and even now after all these years... I'm the dutch guy that has only ever spoke english. It goes much deeper but, that's basically it.
#32
I have a horizontal scar on my stomach from a surgery I had when I was a baby. For some reason in elementary school I would tell everyone that it was from when a bear attacked me.
I'm now almost 30 and people I went to elementary school with still recognize me in public as that guy that got attacked by a bear.
Daniel Atkins 4 weeks ago
this reminds me of my Great Uncle who was onery and would embellish things for his and other's amusement. He had a scar on his face from a skin graft, but he told everyone he was bit by an alligator. Thing is he lived in the middle of the United States no where near alligator habitat. I had to ask my dad to find out the true story.
Hugo 1 month ago
I stupidly managed to put my hand through a glass panel in a door. Luckily didn't sever either an artery or a tendon, but it left a scar on my wrist. A girlfriend told me she'd done much the same and told people she'd tried to commit suicíde. That's not something I would be proud of!
Zac 4 weeks ago
its not pride its acceptance of their past. its part of healing for some people. pretending everything was always okay isnt healing. sometimes saying that you have been there to someone who is struggling is what they need to know they arent alone. hiding the truth only hurts. ive been there, and i never feel shame to talk about it because it was my reality at one point and others reality now.
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Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
They first time my friend met her partner, he said he was attacked by a shark, that's why his arm was deformed. She believed him (she found it hard to tell when I was being sarcastic too lol), though he did tell her by the end of the date that it just a birth defect.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
Probably some people are amused by the story and don't feel the need to knock you down a peg. It's a pretty harmless lie
#33
I once told people I had been bitten by a venomous snake to get out of work for a few days.... I had already called in sick a ton of times and just could not face them if I did it again. I am young and in good health, there is just no way even an old frail person is ill as much as I am calling in.... so yes snake bite. They knew I kept venomous and I thought "this is a great idea".
Turns out they were fascinated and wanted to see so I had to wrap my foot up in a huge bandage and hobble around for weeks.... luckily I was moving to another job I actually didn't hate a few weeks after that. I didn't have to deform my own foot or actually let one of my venomous bite me so that I would not get busted... I was not far off doing so!!
Justanotherpanda 1 month ago
Hating your job does not make you a bad employee perse. Stupid for not finding something else sooner, but not bad.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 4 weeks ago (edited)
A venomous snake caused me to stay away from work a lot. But then he got transferred, and my next boss was a lot better.
Barbara Hill 3 weeks ago
Dumb thing to do. even dumber if you had let your snake bite you. You would have really been ill.
#34
I dislocated my knee dancing like a maniac whilst drunk in January. Ended up on crutches for three weeks. Told everyone at work I did it bending down to grab something from the freezer because I didn't want them to think I was a drunken maniac. People at work are still shocked that I dislocated it so 'easily' and keep saying how unlucky I am and bringing the sympathy. Now I just feel like a fraud.
Cindy Brick 4 weeks ago
Why not start telling the truth now? I honestly think people won't care.
arthbach 4 weeks ago
Like dislocating my little finger by lifting an empty plastic bag? Dislocation comes easily to some of us. :o(
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tresgatos72 4 weeks ago
I dislocated my knee just sitting down into a chair. Passed out from the pain, fell and hit the floor, and it popped back in. I still went to Disneyland that day as planned. I didn't need crutches or anything besides ibuprofen. I was only a stupid 20-something then.
#35
I had never watched Seven Samurai by Akira Kurosawa. I was discussing movies with a friend I met online and lied to them that I have watched it. The friend was like, "Oh, cool. I haven't watched it though." I thought the matter was laid to rest and moved on to other movies for discussion.
Our friendship grew stronger and finally decided to meet IRL.
Though I was excited to meet them, however, the lie about the Japanese movie kept pestering me and was scared that they might ask me about the movie I haven't watched. And unlike online chatting, in a face to face conversation, I won't be able to take help of the internet.
So, I downloaded and watched the entire movie before meeting this person. I don't regret watching the movie. But the trepidations might have been avoided by not lying to them in the first place.
And no, the friend didn't ask me about Seven Samurai when we met.
Multa Nocte 4 weeks ago (edited)
A group of us in college went to see "Ran" by Akira Kurosawa and two of us fell asleep. We were woken by the third one of us getting up and walking out of it. Still have no idea what happened. Edit: Just looked up the plot on Google and I STILL have no idea what it was about.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
That film is awesome in a movie theater, if you ever get a chance to see it on a big screen. It's very visual. I remember it being black and white
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
It is in black and white. It was made in the early 1950s, when color TV/movies were still somewhat limited and rare. B&W film was still the norm.
Load More Replies... LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
I'm actually quite fond of both movies XD
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#36
At, work, for whatever reason ,when I first started I told a girl that I was married...I was never married...It got so out of hand that I actually bought a fake wedding ring....The whole hospital thinks I'm a husband...I've had friends call in pretending they're my wife....It's so crazy out of hand now that I think I would be fired if the truth came out.
Zac 4 weeks ago
yeah but then he will be a recently divorced man working in a hospital, where he will inevitably fall in love with a nurse and have to keep it up for decades. he gotta leave that placelol
Load More Replies... Laserleader 4 weeks ago (edited)
He had a "phone" wife according to the story. And how many people actually need to have their spouse ever meet them at work?
Load More Replies... #37
I got busted in a long time lie... When my wife and I started dating she was always asking me to do something when I was sitting down, or yell at me from another room which is a major pet peeve of mine. I was playing with little firecrackers one day.. As a grown up, and went to toss one but the wick burned down quickly and went off by my ear. I lost hearing in that ear for about 3 days. During that 3 days when she called for me I never really heard her so instead of asking me to do things she found it easier to do it herself, and stopped shouting from other rooms and just came to me instead. My hearing came back fully but I played it off as partially damaged. This will seem rude, but when she would call my name I would ignore it 2 or 3 times and she'd usually just give up and leave me be... I played it off for about a year and a half until my daughter was born and they stuck this thing in her ears to test her hearing. I asked how it worked, so they stuck it in my "deaf" ear to demonstrate how it worked. The nurse said "you're hearing is perfect" and my wife shot me a puzzling look and questioned me about my hearing later that night. She was worried something was wrong with the machine they used to test our new born baby's hearing. I came clean, she was more amused than mad, and I still don't know how that machine works...
Stardust she/her 4 weeks ago
Dude, I feel bad for your poor wife. I get that yelling across rooms is frustrating but c’mon :/
Zac 4 weeks ago
nah im with him on this one. screaming my name from the other room when you could use the two feet that god so thoughtfully attached to the bottoms of your legs to walk in there and speak to me like a normal human, will forever drive me insane. i grew up with a family member like that who would stand at the bottom of a staircase, or in another room, or in the yard, and SCREAM for us as kids, literally scream out our names in an ever growing rage until she went hoarse. it wasnt that she couldnt get up and come find us, it was that she was "being disrespected" by us children when we didnt sprint to her and ask "yes your majesty what service do you require of me, your humble servant." so she just refused to do anything but yell for us.
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#38
There's a chain of BBQ chicken restaurants here in Canada called Swiss Chalet.
I didn't really like them when I was a kid, I didn't really like chicken and I hated the BBQ sauce they put on their chicken. But as I've gotten older, I LOVE Chicken now and actually like the chicken from Swiss Chalet...
It wasn't really a lie back then, but now... I don't know man. I've kept the facade up for so long... I don't think I can rightly admit I like Swiss Chalet now...
Good chicken, but their fries are bad though.
Multa Nocte 4 weeks ago
I believe you'll find it is defined a little differently than that by most people. ;-)
Load More Replies... #39
I'm 2 years sober, but during the midst of my drinking years I worked at a place that they actually gave me a "Vacationer of the Year" award because I was "gone" so much. I'd say 50% of those times I was either hungover or planning to drink.
But the worse of the worse is using "my grandpa died" to get off working a weekend, and then using "my grandma died" too to get off the following weekend. Nobody brought it up too much because either they knew I was full of s**t, or because it was a touchy subject.
To this day it's one of my top 5 most guilty inducing memories of drinking. Someday I'd like to go in to my former bosses and come clean, since I believe apologizing/making amends is a big step in recovery.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
There's a level of relaxation that you get from apologizing for past wrongs and asking what you can do to correct them.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 weeks ago
No. The onus is on you to figure out HOW to make amends. You don't ask the person that you hurt or wronged to do MORE work and figure out FOR you how YOU can make it up to them. YOU have to do that work *yourself* if you are truly sorry and truly want to make amends. Otherwise you're just throwing it back into the lap of the person you hurt/wronged, and not taking ANY actual responsibility for it or doing ANY work on it yourself, and THAT'S wrong.
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ILoveMySon 3 weeks ago
My mother used an excuse of the death of her grandmother who, indeed, died shortly thereafter. Mom never lied to get out of work again.
#40
It isn't super ridiculously out of hand but only 3 people in the world know it's true
My current GF and I have been together for 11 months, we met on tinder, but I was in a cult that didn't allow online dating at all, and to s lesser extent, phones in general, so she and I told EVERYONE that we met in downtown Denver. I gotta come clean to my mom about it sooner or later.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
OP needs to come clean to his mom that she no longer controls his life and he's not going to pretend otherwise.
Load More Replies... Slmd 3 weeks ago
He was in the cult, she went along with the lie so he didn't get in trouble.
Load More Replies... #41
That I'm straight.
My friends and family know that I'm gay but for everyone else I'm straight.
Poppy 4 weeks ago
In your own time and space and when you're safe to do so, the lie will stop.
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Less a lie and more a none of their business until you feel comfortable sharing.
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Rafael 4 weeks ago (edited)
I had a group of friends (3 people) that just assumed I was gay for a long time, and I had no idea. They couldn't fathom back them why a straight guy would be friends with gay men, and the subject just never arose, for about 3 months. I was actually at a gay bar with them celebrating something when I mentioned my (then) new gf, and they were shocked. I'm kind of proud that I didn't give any obvious "straight guy" vibes for so long :-)
Laserleader 4 weeks ago
Why would it matter in public anyway? Its not like being gay requires anything visually and I despise when men use "fake" gay accents that sound like California Valley girls. It pissed me off when my Dad acquired one after he came out. It was obtuse and gross.
#42
When I was goofing around at school everyone used to make fun of me for being foreign so I lied and said I was actually born here. It kind of snowballed and then I got this big job and it became kind of an issue.
Think I got away with it though.
WindySwede 4 weeks ago
At least this was 10y ago, no more info on that reddit-thread.
Load More Replies... #43
I once lied about qualifications to get a part time job. Beeb working full time in that field for over a decade. If people found out I'd probably get sued.
Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
This depends on whether the job is heart surgeon or cryptocurrency broker.
WindySwede 4 weeks ago
User deleted, so can't be 100% on who is OP in link. 🤷♂️
Load More Replies... Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Um... have you considered getting the qualifications? That seems like it would solve that problem
Zac 4 weeks ago
a lot of the time the "qualifications" they are looking for can be superseded by experience, which he obviously has now. getting the qualifications now could present a whole new realm of issues. like in my industry, qualifications are typically paid for by the company, so if i were to go get my certs, which i already have dont worry, the bill would go to my company unless i paid out of pocket which no one ever does. imagine how surprised his boss would be to see an invoice for "basic qualifications certification" with a 10 year employee name on it. also it wouldnt stop him from being sued for anything that was done before he had them. his best bet is to rely on his experience and hope he doesnt f**k up bad enough for anyone to question him.
Load More Replies... #44
I told my friends that the reason i laugh so much is because when I got surgery on my tonsils, they gave me too much laughing gas.
Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
This is like a dad joke. You laugh because you like your dad, not because he's a comedian
#45
I am currently studying Chinese in Beijing. My Chinese isn't that great and listening is by far my worst skill. So I will often get asked questions that I think I understand but don't. For instance, I was asked if you can haggle prices in America and I told the class you can. Since I am the only American in the class, nobody knows any better. All my lies are small, and completely accidental, but there are so many of them. If anybody in that class actually goes to America they are going to be in for a big suprise. And if any of them spoke English they would know I am not an 18 year old from a small town with no buses, trains, or taxis, who doesn't know how to properly use a fork and knife.
Zac 4 weeks ago
i agree with the other comment, thats literally why were here. also, im concerned about your reading comprehension ability. the OP LITERALLY explains in the post youre replying to why they lie, they dont mean to , they have a hard time understanding the language correctly and dont realize it until after the fact. its not a lie its a mistake. how did you not understand that?
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Sally Moen 4 weeks ago
I will bet that if they do visit the US, the culture shock will be for multiple things, and your lies won't be at the top of the list
#46
Well, I met this really hot woman on a train and yada yada yada, she thinks I have a wooden leg.
arthbach 4 weeks ago
Ah, this is the plot of the television program, Coupling. It's series 2, episode one, "The Man with Two Legs". 'Jeff becomes obsessed with a woman whose leg he has admired from afar on the train. Faced with a chance to meet her, and the need to explain his delight at finding she has a second leg, he comes up with the lie that he is an amputee. Yet once she takes an interest, how is he ever to follow up? '
Daniel Atkins 4 weeks ago
Here she is thinking that he doesn't have a leg to stand on. Thank you and goodnight.
#47
Gents, when you ever meet a girl that for some reason falls for you head over heels, and worships the ground you walk on, be very careful when she asks you whether you love her.
I'm now married to her for four years and she's so gosh darn adorable that I don't have the heart to tell her "I'm not sure."
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
This is definitely the worst lie I've seen. Why would you do that to her? What happens when you decide you aren't
Load More Replies... Binny Tutera 4 weeks ago (edited)
My husband of 42 years loves to tell people we are deciding if it will last. Yes, he’s kidding.
Daniel Atkins 4 weeks ago
My father likes to tell people that my siblings and I are our mother's from her first marriage (leaving out the part that that it is his first and only marriage) Just because it confuses people and they will argue until they realize the part he left out.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 4 weeks ago
Better yet, be very careful when you ask someone to marry you. Don't do it unless you're sure you love her.
Emma London 4 weeks ago
People experience love in different ways, some people don't ever have that "my heart is full, I'm struck with lightning" feeling. It doesn't meant that they wouldn't deserve to live a full life with someone they are really compatible with.
Laserleader 4 weeks ago
If you think she's adorable then you probably do love her. Love isn't the passionate romance people expect, it's a person who makes life worth living, and since no side chick was mentioned the marriage seems solid.
#48
Everyone I work with thinks I watch The Walking Dead- I haven't viewed it since Season two. Now I find myself reading the synopsis of episodes the day after they come out just to perpetuate the lie.
arthbach 4 weeks ago
What's wrong with saying, "Nah, I don't watch it any more. I must prefer (insert television program/hobby of your choice)."
Lila Allen 4 weeks ago
Yeah a lot of these seem like really avoidable problems. Why would you be embarrassed or afraid to admit you don't like a show and don't watch it?
Load More Replies... #50
In elementary school I used to tell everyone I was Jewish. Now I know how to speak a few phrases of Hebrew and I get every Jewish holiday off.
What do you think ?
Stardust she/her 4 weeks ago
I pretended that I was an optimist in my new school by not showing negative emotions in front of anyone. Until last week when I shed a tear or two so now people think I’m going through rough times (i am going thru rough times but i dont want anyone to know) because according to them ‘Star is a person who can never cry’ so now they’re being nice to me and it just s***s being pitied. Even people who didn’t like me when i was younger are talking to me :/ I used to cry everyday in my old school so nobody noticed when I got actual depression
Zac 4 weeks ago
i know it s***s being pitied, but think of it this way, youve had such an important impact on so many peoples lives that they want to make you happier. they want you to be okay. even people who didnt used to like you have come to care for your well being. not many of us can have that impact on people like that. you must be a really great person to have so many care for you. it might be easier for your, if you were to confide in some of those people about what youre going through. it clearly seems like they want to help you because they love you. i hope everything works out for you Star, and im sorry youre having to navigate this difficult time. lean on your friends, like the song says, "we all need somebody to lean on"
Load More Replies... Rafael 4 weeks ago
Back in Brazil everyone loves football, it is the theme of conversation in every table with friends. When I got out for lunch people would always comment about it, and it was ways a boring conversations for me to say "no, I don't watch it". So I started to fake it. Read the headlines from the sports newspapers (a real thing there, so you can imagine) and would inteject with one comment or another and let the talk among themselves. Keep it up for 10 years until I moved out.
Roberta Surprenant 3 weeks ago
Three biggest lies : the check is in the mail, of course I will respect you in morning, I won't c*m in your mouth.
BrunoVI 4 weeks ago
It's a practice for Catholic tweens to choose a "confirmation" name when they get confirmed, when they finally become a Catholic of their own volition. I was late for the final practice ceremony, and we were told we didn't have to use our final choice for a name. I had been watching the Cosby show, and heard he had the craziest middle name I'd ever heard: Heathcliff Aloysius Huxtable (pronounced "Al-owe-wish-us.") So I used that, unaware that the priest had just given a talk about how St. Aloysius led him to Christ and the priesthood. He teared up and told everyone how moved he was that I had chosen his most beloved saint as my confirmation name. I couldn't possibly tell him I was only joking. And of course, Bill Cosby would always be one of the most adored people in America, right?
BrunoVI 4 weeks ago
It's not like anyone uses their confirmation name anyway.
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 4 weeks ago
I pretended that I was an optimist in my new school by not showing negative emotions in front of anyone. Until last week when I shed a tear or two so now people think I’m going through rough times (i am going thru rough times but i dont want anyone to know) because according to them ‘Star is a person who can never cry’ so now they’re being nice to me and it just s***s being pitied. Even people who didn’t like me when i was younger are talking to me :/ I used to cry everyday in my old school so nobody noticed when I got actual depression
Zac 4 weeks ago
i know it s***s being pitied, but think of it this way, youve had such an important impact on so many peoples lives that they want to make you happier. they want you to be okay. even people who didnt used to like you have come to care for your well being. not many of us can have that impact on people like that. you must be a really great person to have so many care for you. it might be easier for your, if you were to confide in some of those people about what youre going through. it clearly seems like they want to help you because they love you. i hope everything works out for you Star, and im sorry youre having to navigate this difficult time. lean on your friends, like the song says, "we all need somebody to lean on"
Load More Replies... Rafael 4 weeks ago
Back in Brazil everyone loves football, it is the theme of conversation in every table with friends. When I got out for lunch people would always comment about it, and it was ways a boring conversations for me to say "no, I don't watch it". So I started to fake it. Read the headlines from the sports newspapers (a real thing there, so you can imagine) and would inteject with one comment or another and let the talk among themselves. Keep it up for 10 years until I moved out.
Roberta Surprenant 3 weeks ago
Three biggest lies : the check is in the mail, of course I will respect you in morning, I won't c*m in your mouth.
BrunoVI 4 weeks ago
It's a practice for Catholic tweens to choose a "confirmation" name when they get confirmed, when they finally become a Catholic of their own volition. I was late for the final practice ceremony, and we were told we didn't have to use our final choice for a name. I had been watching the Cosby show, and heard he had the craziest middle name I'd ever heard: Heathcliff Aloysius Huxtable (pronounced "Al-owe-wish-us.") So I used that, unaware that the priest had just given a talk about how St. Aloysius led him to Christ and the priesthood. He teared up and told everyone how moved he was that I had chosen his most beloved saint as my confirmation name. I couldn't possibly tell him I was only joking. And of course, Bill Cosby would always be one of the most adored people in America, right?
BrunoVI 4 weeks ago
It's not like anyone uses their confirmation name anyway.
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