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For those of you who don't already know, today is International Women's Day, so we thought we'd honor the occasion by bringing you this hilarious list of tweets that many women are sure to relate to. Compiled by Bored Panda, the funny and witty collection spans everything from relationships, fashion, and periods, to life, love, and everything in-between. You don't need to be a woman to find them funny, but they're sure to make you laugh if you are. Don't forget to vote for the best, and happy International Women's Day!
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#1
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
"When your legs don't work like they used to before, and I can't sweep you off of your feet, I will give you my tennis shoes girl, and I will walk in my socks on the street, cuz darlin' I will be loving you, until were 70"
Roxanne Hughes 8 years ago
But when we're 70, no more love for you! Always thought it should be "when" not "til"!
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Master Markus 8 years ago
I am resisting my horrible correctional urge to explain why being courteous towards women is not what chivalry was. I'm sorry.
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Mary Marty 8 years ago
What a man, what a man, what a man, What a mighty good man He's a mighty mighty good man What a man, what a man, what a man,…
Louiiiise 8 years ago
This is very sweet, but I can't relate to that at all as advertised in the main description.
Pualani Dalton 8 years ago
Looks like her heels broke, or am I just crazy? It looks like it separated :)
RELATED:
#2
Jeanne Deaux 8 years ago
Your mom seems to be an amazing cook. And generous with the quantity too. Can she adopt me? (I help in the kitchen if I can) ^_^
#3
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
also the pic on the right represents is the unsolicited "selfie" he thinks every chick wants to see but really doesn't.
Bunnies are better!! 8 years ago
my random quote of the day: when in doubt, eat chocolate (nom, nom, nom)
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#4
Kate Thuma 8 years ago
scrolling down I just thought it didn't have an arm, which kind of made sense with that sleeve.......but then it all came into view. 😝
Koko Sempai 8 years ago
when I first saw this is was like wtf a game glitch or something!? took me a moment to understand what was going on lol
Denise Stark 8 years ago
I need that. It's getting increasingly hard to bend over to put socks on.
#5
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
I'm not certain if that kid is exuding confidence or trying to exuding the fact that she has a diabolical plan for that bird.
Virgil Blue 8 years ago
"You still think having a bird as a pet is stupid Charlene? Shall I introduce my stupid owl to your hamsters then?"
#6
Daria B 8 years ago
This reminded me of the airport in Beijing. At the security control, female officers were checking female passingers, and male males.
Omg! My Thid! 8 years ago
The makers of the pads want you to think "ooo pretty" so then you'll buy those pads.
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Patricia Ross 8 years ago
I use to work for TSA so let me tell you, it get soooo much worse than that cute little colorful display.
Bekki Sala 8 years ago
I usually put my roos on top..nice element of surprise after taco night.
Ironcat_xox 8 years ago
Some guys be like: WTF is that in your hand like why are you holding a- *opens* 0.0 oh
Daria B 8 years ago
Those are no tampons. They're pads. And, yes, they can get big. Especially the overnight ones.
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Renee Wamsat-Wells 8 years ago
Barrie, this makes me think of when you've talked about finally shaving your legs! Lol!!!
Kristin Giæver 8 years ago
Wow, do I feel sorry for you. You need to educate yourself.
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#8
Daria B 8 years ago
Or: When you suddenly remember you have to hang your clothes out of the laundry.
Mick and Lee 8 years ago
Oh my gosh yes. So many times have I gotten comfy in bed for the night, and then remember FRICKEN WET LAUNDRY.
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Tayla Sargent 8 years ago
I wouldn't ever sleep if I remembered all the awkward things I did it 2008 🙄🤔
Kira Leseman 8 years ago
I dream I am in highschool all the time. I can never remember my locker code or class schedule and on and on. I'm 35 years old. It's getting quite annoying.
Bunnies are better!! 8 years ago
Yes!! I am always thinking of all the awkward things i've done in my life. Why can't I just forget all that and remember what the test is on in math instead?
#9
Lucie Pelčáková 8 years ago
I did the same and it's the best thing you can do. I really can't believe how expensive chokers are when in reality you can make them yourself for such a litte price.
Bunnies are better!! 8 years ago
They are called chokers for a reason ya know (gah, My throat, I'm choking)
Daniel Fleming 8 years ago
one of the (r******d) kids at school did this. He didn't tie it tho. Just laid a shoestring around his neck. Claimed the string cost $25.
#10
Claire Kidd 8 years ago
Dogs should not be eating cake. It's not good for them. Please learn how to take care of an animal before buying one!
#11
#12
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
lol I can relate. I'm not mad I was forced to slam on my breaks, i'm just mad my s**t is on the floor and i probably won't find my chapstick until I sell the car.
#13
Zori the degu 8 years ago
It`s actually a silky anteater-the smallest of the three species of anteaters.Yup, it doesn`t look dangerous, but in fact, when it is sleeping, it uses its tail to keep its body completely straight. If a predator attacks, the anteater uses its claws as very dangerous hooks. The movement it makes while attacking the enemy won it the local nickname "Thank `e God".
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Victoria Jolley 8 years ago
What if they are like sweet hearts and grow up and have kids haha lol so cute
Hannah Dobbins 6 years ago
This literally makes me cry. This is so cuutee... I'm a failure lolz
#15
#16
ADHORTATOR 8 years ago
I got to show this to my wife..... if you don't hear from me tomorrow, call the Police!
LizzyM 8 years ago
Addy, I know it's been only 8 hrs since your comment, but are you ok? Or should we call the po-pos?
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Kacper Bieńkowski 8 years ago
Maybe some kind of eco-driving mode or... in hybrid car - electric engine working while the petrol engine is off.
Load More Replies... Fairleas Mian 8 years ago
Or when you've been telling the husband for months that it is making a noise and he tells you not to worry about it...then he is surprised when this happens "all of a sudden" and you get, "Why didn't you tell me about this???"
Naomi Prior 8 years ago
So strange...exactly the reason I use the term "he" for my car!!!
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David Martinez 8 years ago
no. if we spot something interesting we blatantly point it out and all other guys turn their heads in a very non-subtle manner.
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#18
Zori the degu 8 years ago
I also love them! I`ll be having one in two months!
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#19
Amanda Panda 8 years ago
To which you proceed to say "I just think its funny how....." and he gets hit with a s**t storm of c**p you've been holding in for the last 3 mos.
Petar 8 years ago
When a man asks - is there a problem, you say - YES, there is problem! Do not expect us to understand the lying. :) Also every man will choose to believe you instead of having conversation about something you want to talk about but instead you choose to just roll your eyes. Man are simple beings. Why don't you be like them? :)
GoodWolf 8 years ago
Same with lying about an orgasm. If he doesn't notice I haven't had one yet, I will tell him.
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Paweŀ Ziem 8 years ago
Ah, I used to love doing this on purpose to my gf. I had loads of fun, and also nice benefit - now she tells me stuff right away, so we can improve ourself constantly and stay GLORIOUS! I listen, she does too, best move. Ever.
#20
Sondre Strøm Linde 8 years ago
Haha, I almost did something similar years ago. I spotted a very cheap pair of military pants in a toy catalogue.. Turned out it was for an action figure. Found out before I ordered, thankfully.
Ironcat_xox 8 years ago
It's like when u order off of amazon and the package is WAY TO SMALL to be ur thing but ur like: there's still hope right? It WASNT IT
#21
#22
🌟Jim Phoenix🌟 8 years ago
This is me around stereotypical boys. I am a boy who acts like the stereotype from long ago: Polite, kind, etc.
Victoria Jolley 8 years ago
i have to have someone to look at me when i talk to them it makes me feel like they aren't listening to me...
Joane Whitehouse 8 years ago
"and where do you two think you're going? You're not going anywhere till you clean up this mess"
Becki Rainbow 8 years ago
Looks like a angry cornered animal to me. Stop pissing about with animals for fun. Idiots.
Lazy Panda 8 years ago
If you guys listened to me, we'd all be better off. I try to say something about something, and then later that something goes wrong and I'm just thinking "I told you guys this would happen and nobody listen to me." I actually lost almost half a grade in a group project because nobody listened to me :(
#23
Mia Maharia 8 years ago
Isn't it garfield nephew....what's his name.....that grey smaller cat ..nibbles or sumthing..... Nermaaal....yes that's Nermal....
Lazy Panda 8 years ago
I watched this play at my school today, it was so boring that that's what I looked like for an hour, only I was human
Ironcat_xox 8 years ago
I just love the snowman blanket in the bag cuz this is literally ME after Christmas
#24
#25
#26
Ok Ha-Neul 8 years ago
heaven? she sees herself in heaven??? puppy heaven!!!!take me with you
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Ólöf Hallbjörg Harðardóttir 8 years ago
Turn them into German Shepherds, then that's totally me in 10 years!!
#27
Victoria Jolley 8 years ago
i cried when i cut my hair......it was to my back and had to cut it to my shoulders
Nina's Channel 8 years ago
Mine was to my butt and I cut it to above my shoulders by I don't regret it anymore because I know my hair will make others feel better.
Nina's Channel 8 years ago
I donated it because one of my friends had cancer at the time and I wanted to give something to all those suffering like she was at the time
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E Menendez 8 years ago
Everyone would look like that without photoshop. Particularly if it fits and won't fall off.
Lucas Schnock 8 years ago
Everyone would look like that with a healthy lifestyle, it's a fact.
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Master Markus 8 years ago
I don't know, I hear that children are more tender. Yeah, I'm going with the cannibalism angle. YOU STARTED IT!
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#30
Ironcat_xox 8 years ago
When u have the perfect outfit and then you realize you don't fit into those jeans anymore
#31
Joane Whitehouse 8 years ago
Oh Honey look. Can I go check out if they have those shoes in my size. It won't take long, I promise.
Nadine Lujan 8 years ago
Yup - fortunately I married a guy who does the same. It gets awkward if there are 2 dogs in different directions.
#32
Grace Bohmer 8 years ago
chocolate is actual a good exfoliant but how would waste chocolate on their face
#33
Michel M. Prins 8 years ago
Men who say such things probably have never opened a biology book.
Lex 3 years ago
Well, for one thing, men can choose whether or not they want to shave. Women CANNOT choose whether or not we will menstruate. Since actually, both men and women can choose to shave, should not razors be considered luxury, rather necessity, the exact opposite of pads and tampons.
#34
#35
#36
🌟Jim Phoenix🌟 8 years ago
Again, this is me around stereotypical boys, and occasionally my little bro.
#37
Pandykinz 8 years ago
Disneyland? The character is from A Bug's Life so I'm just guessing. And the lady behind has Mickey ears on.
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Bridget Whitney 8 years ago
When my eating disorder was off the charts I'd say this.
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#39
#40
Nina's Channel 8 years ago
Sadly a lot of girls depending on their personality. I am not like that hi.
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#42
Kjorn 8 years ago
problem is woman still buy those magazine! if they stop buying it they'll stop. they just do want the client want.
Cassie 8 years ago
Sure, but they don't have to gender label stuff like that. I had to claim to be a boy every time McDonald's did Hot Wheels and Barbies in their Happy Meals. Why not ask me which I want instead of assigning a toy to me based on my gender? Sure, some kids will want Barbie and that's fine, but I don't have to want Barbie just because I'm a girl. These magazines would be better if their titles reflected the contents instead of which gender somebody thinks should be interested. I would have preferred the one on the right growing up, but I never understood why I had to feel rebellious being interested in that stuff because I wasn't a boy.
Load More Replies... Sweep the Leg 8 years ago
I once traded a Barbie prize for a G.I. Joe, and that was in the 90's. If little girls want to "explore," they're going to do it no matter what magazines say.
Cassie 8 years ago
Agreed. It's about time the magazines figured that out.
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Amalie Jaye 1 year ago
Even though I am a female, I would get the one on the right as it interests me more 😂
Master Markus 8 years ago
This is the THIRD TIME. I am so done with explaining that these are two unrelated magazines. I mean, there's an issue with having something like an outdoors magazine being marketed explicitly to boys, but... just know all the information.
Nina's Channel 8 years ago
But they do not have outdoors magazines for women and fashion magazines for men. That is the issue here. They are not being treated equally.
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Master Markus 8 years ago
Her head looks really big in the first picture and I can't tell why.
#44
Magic Forest > Lindsey 8 years ago
and that's why I just bought new glasses ;)
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Diana CrunChewy Watson 8 years ago
When this happens, I just sit quietly and contemplate what b******t I must have pulled in a former life.
Pi... 8 years ago
Lol. That's so me sometimes. Thinking who or what I've wronged in the past that I'm being punished for in the present!
Load More Replies... 🌟Jim Phoenix🌟 8 years ago
1 problem being a boy with long hair. Annoying rating: OMFG OFF DA CHARTS
#45
Ric Kolseth 8 years ago
Nah. They just have a lot more of the pink in stock, so they will sell more of the pink since guys will buy the cheapest one.
moonsong23 8 years ago
Not sure if you got the point, so I will clarify. The pink one had girlish eyelashes and is therefore a female. The red one doesn't, so is a male. The male version is worth more money, so basically a store's way of saying males are worth more.
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#46
Lorraine 8 years ago
Agreed! Salts, bubbles, candles, music, book--everything has to be just right!
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Rickey Jones 8 years ago
Her: Quick I need cooking spray, graham crackers, and some chocolate. Me: Why? Her: No time to explain, just do it.
Neurotic_Octopus 8 years ago
Omg, this makes me so sad D: .....though to be honest, I would probably scrape them off and eat them anyway once the iron cooled.....
#48
Stille20 8 years ago
True when women say it too! I hate when girls say that, or a guy says it to me. Like what am I? A velociraptor?
Nomadus Aureus 8 years ago
TBH, if you can be a velociraptor, always go for being a velociraptor.
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Just a Purpler 8 years ago
I too carry a fork around. You just never know when someone might drop a perfect plate of spaghetti
Zori the degu 8 years ago
I`d use the fork as a weapon, because you never know... For now, I walk around with my termo-bottle ... I`m the girl nobody mess up with, because I have a heavy termos!
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Bobbi Newell 8 years ago
I carry a sharpie - you never know when you'll need a permanent black marker!
#50
Claire Nelson 8 years ago
Just go to CVS, stuff's cheap. If you buy expensive makeup it will cost a lot of money. It's not that much better, especially in the eyeshadow and lip pigment department.
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
I absolutely adore Milani makeup! It's affordable, long lasting and they're against animal testing.
Keyz Karanza 8 years ago
Women need to boycott make-up. When Loreal and Maybelline are on the verge of bankruptcy, you will see those prices drop pretty damn fast!
Lex 3 years ago
Actually, I love makeup. I just never wear it, because I don't want to deal with comments on howy preferred style of makeup doesn't go well with my complexion. I don't care that it doesn't matchy complexion, it's what I'm comfortable with. But I'm not going to boycott it.
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Lazy Panda 8 years ago
It is? Okay, well, good to know. I didn't use the stuff before though anyways
#51
#52
#53
AcousticGString 8 years ago
I have done this more than I care to admit after responding "I'm almost ready"
#54
#55
#56
criminalgirl 8 years ago
This isn't funny, if this was a man hitting a woman how would you feel? If you are not up to the challenge of a conversation or argument, keep you hands to yourself or walk away.
#57
#58
moonsong23 8 years ago
One time I put tomatoes in an ice cream cone and used no actual ice cream. It tasted good.
#59
Fairleas Mian 8 years ago
No kidding. And then they want to TOUCH THE HAIR. Here's a clue: DON'T.
#60
#61
Kat Blak 8 years ago
Meeeeemmory all alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then...
Dawn Frank 8 years ago
I'm 15 and have only ever walked into sephora once, I was in there for 20 minutes..... waiting in line to get a $20 gift card for my friend.
#62
🌟Jim Phoenix🌟 8 years ago
This is me when the stereotypical boys teased me about watching it!😊😊😊
#63
Nina's Channel 8 years ago
So she doesn't like small rodents that are relatives of the mouse but have stouter body and a shorter and more hairy tail? They seem cute.
#64
Kim Lee 8 years ago
Just because the article is about one gender doesn't mean it excludes all other genders
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Katinka Min 8 years ago
This looks like a WASP version of 'The Ring' (And where the hell is the rest of her body???)
Lena Sterling 8 years ago
This is also the same position I do when I'm relaxing in front of the TV.
Master Markus 8 years ago
That's a weird pose no matter what you're doing it for. She looks like a baby monkey clinging to it's mom.
#66
Julia NotMyLastname 8 years ago
Yes. I am, believe it or not, human. So I need to eat to stay alive, and how much I eat is not your business. Would you like me to say "OMG! Are you actually BREATHING again?!"? I don't think so.
#67
#68
Long Joan Silver 8 years ago
Me: "How can I help you today?" Customer: "good thanks, how are you?" Me: "...yeah, good thanks. How can I help you today?"
Just.a.ravenclaw.witch 4 years ago
someone: happy birthday!! me:oh, happy birthday!! me:......wiat wot
Claire Murray 4 years ago
Or- Waiter: Enjoy your meal. Me: Thanks, you too. Me:*internally dying
#69
Lazy Panda 8 years ago
Well taking that many pictures sure does use up a ton of power
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Lena Sterling 8 years ago
It's a lot easier: just start to love your body how it is, because it's unique and beautiful!
#74
Talise Snyder 8 years ago
COLLECTING YOUR JAR OF HEARTS, AND TEARING LOVE APART!
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#75
Neurotic_Octopus 8 years ago
Taking the picture while driving on what looks like a highway... On behalf of whoever you injure in a car wreck, I hope that s**t is permanent so everybody can see how stupid you are.
#78
#79
#80
Lex 3 years ago
Talking about how smooth and blemish free the pancake is. Most likely because of false and toxic beauty standards placed on women.
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CandyCorn 8 years ago
I know what you mean, it looks like makeup (not that hilarious) but I think its breakfast (crêpes) cooking in a pan.
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#82
Michelle 8 years ago
The lazyness to actually cook a real corn bread I presume
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What do you think ?
jacluckycat 8 years ago
Some of these are horrifyingly vapid to be considered statements of womanhood
jacluckycat 8 years ago
Some of these are horrifyingly vapid to be considered statements of womanhood
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