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“How Crazy All Their Exes Are”: 35 Things People Boast About Without Realizing It’s A Major Red Flag About Them
“I don’t like to brag, but–”
We all know humility is a great quality to have, but there is a time and place for celebrating our accomplishments as well. Earn your PhD? You deserve to be proud of that. Beat a life-threatening illness? I wouldn’t blame you for telling everyone you know. Complete an ultramarathon? That’s something worth posting on Facebook about. But if you get less than 5 hours of sleep every night, can drink an entire bottle of tequila by yourself or think all of your exes are “toxic and crazy”, you might want to keep those things to yourself…
One curious Reddit user recently asked people to share things others brag about that signal red flags, and readers did not hold back in the replies. So below, we’ve gathered a list of some of those qualities and "accomplishments" people should stop being so proud of to remind you pandas which boasts to look out for. Keep reading to also find an interview we were lucky enough to receive from Viktor Sander, a counselor at SocialSelf.
Be sure to upvote the responses you strongly agree with, and let us know in the comments any other brags that would send you running out the door. Then if you’d like to read another Bored Panda article discussing red flags to look out for, look no further than right here!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The people who instantly have a solution for everything.
Fat? Eat less. Addicted? Quit. Depressed? Smile more. Broke? Get a better job. Tired? Sleep more.
There is nuance to the issues of society. Major red flag if you're in your 20's or older and can't critically think.
We all know that nobody likes a braggart, but why do we brag in the first place? What compels us to want to share our accomplishments so openly? To gain some insight on this topic, we reached out to Viktor Sander, a counselor at SocialSelf. "I believe people primarily brag because they’re insecure about their own value," Viktor told Bored Panda. "They want to be validated by others, they want to feel liked, or they want to feel better than others. The problem is that bragging usually has the opposite effect - people will like and validate us less if we brag."
We were also curious if there are ever times where it is acceptable to boast. "It’s more socially acceptable to brag about major life accomplishments, such as getting a job, finishing your degree, getting married, or buying a house," Viktor shared. So if you've recently done any of those things, go nuts! Enjoy your socially acceptable bragging for a limited time only.
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#2
They boast about how many drinks they can hold "and still drive home without a problem."
#3
When a professor brags about how many people have failed their class
We also wanted to know if Viktor would consider any brags to be red flags. "Accidentally bragging about something is seldom a deal-breaker in itself," he shared. "Everyone needs validation, and sometimes things slip out of us when we try to get that validation in a clumsy way such as bragging."
"For me, a red flag would be if someone brags about being mean or disrespectful to others," Viktor added. "That signals they have badly developed empathy and a flawed moral compass."
#4
Self-victimizers who need to out-victimize everyone within a 100 foot radius. No one - and I mean *no one* - has *ever* had it harder than they did/do. One-uppers (or one-downers?) extraordinaire.
Also, 'Nice Guys'. "I'm the nicest guy you'll ever meet" = Run!
#5
Bragging about successfully tricking people.
Not like April Fools harmless pranks, stuff like stealing or cheating.
The Darkest Timeline 3 years ago
I was told by someone with an unnatural orange glow that this makes them smart.
Sometimes, our loved ones may not realize they have a tendency for being boastful, so we asked Viktor if he had any advice for navigating those situations. "If someone you care about brags, I would recommend a non-reactive, but still polite response," he told Bored Panda. "A non-reactive reply discourages their bragging, without the need for confrontation."
"For example, you can reply, 'Oh, I see' and then switch topics. There’s usually no need to confront someone about bragging. By not reacting, we make sure they’re not rewarded for their bragging to discourage the behavior," he explained. "Also, keep in mind that they’re probably bragging because they feel insecure and want your validation. Realizing that they’re just insecure can make it easier to put things into perspective and not take their bragging personally."
If you'd like to hear more wise words from Viktor and the rest of the team at SocialSelf, be sure to visit their website right here.
#6
Bragging about how people are scared of them and no one will ever cross them because they know they will get there a*s beat, how crazy they are
#7
"Owning" or "Triggering" people: "I'm so difficult to get along with that I was able to annoy someone into an outburt with only a brief interraction." really isn't the flex some people think it is.
We hope the examples on this list aren't reminding you too much of anyone you know personally, but if they are, it might be time to give them some gentle reminders that these brags aren't helping them out. Keep upvoting the responses you find particularly relatable, and let us know in the comments what other brags make you roll your eyes. Then if you're looking for another Bored Panda article featuring red flags to look out for, you can find that right here!
#8
How crazy all their exes are
Meredith Adams 3 years ago
It’s a HUGE red flag when someone says that all of their exes were crazy. If someone you’re dating tells you that, steer clear!
#9
“I don’t have a filter.”
#10
How much they work and how little they sleep. That's an unbalanced person and they're unlikely to have an idea of "success" that includes other people.
Yettichild 3 years ago
Honestly, I can't imagine not sleeping much voluntarily. I can't sleep well and it makes my life very difficult. I would give up a lot to sleep better.
#11
“Over half of you will quit this class before the semester ends. The half of that remaining will fail” Had a professor say this and could only think man you must be a sh***y teacher. Searched him up and sure enough most people quit because the way he taught was counterproductive and half the class time was spent talking down to them. I requested to be added to a different professor.
#12
Men who can't talk to women like they're human beings and refer to them as "females"
NotTodaySatan!! 3 years ago
Maybe it's my age? I can't wrap my head around why it is all the sudden bad to refer to women (is using *women* acceptable?) as *female*? Are they not females? We still call men, *men*. I'm not being intentionally ignorant, I simply don't "get" it. I've seen others explain it I still am baffled.
#13
How they grew up in a time when raging abuse was the norm. And they "turned out just fine"...
#15
Being "brutally honest" or "having no filter." This usually signals a severe lack of tact. Source: Me. I was this guy in my early 20s and have since chilled out.
Okasan Willis 3 years ago
My daughter has autism and it is part of her disorder that she has very little filter
#16
How much they “don’t care what other people think.”
If you have to constantly tell others and yourself “I don’t care,” you *totally* do, you just wish you didn’t.
#17
Their "alpha" status. Their high standards.
#18
Scoring four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High School in Chicago during the 1966 City Championship
#19
I have a coworker who is kind of like the first one. She is generally a one-upper, and she has had a really hard life. But you can't talk about yourself for more than 30 seconds before she has a story about either how awesome she is, or how much harder than you she's had it. It's exhausting.
#20
"I am (such a) a nice person".
If you have to point it out, it's probably not true.
#21
This is the relationship version of, "If you work with a guy who's an a**hole, then that guy's an a**hole. If you work with 20 guys and every last one is them is an asshole, you're the asshole."
Sinister Murder 3 years ago
Actually, I worked in a toxic workenvironment that turned everybody in an a*****e. Quit and quite happy at my new normal colleagues job.
#22
Bragging about not knowing things.
Also, bragging about how little they sleep.
#23
Ah, the person at my job who bought up all the toilet paper during the pandemic so they could sell it to coworkers at an inflated price.
They can keep their Mercedes. I'd rather not be a monster.
Mario Strada 3 years ago
What Mercedes? The one with paint stripper all over it and the 4 flat tires? That one? I wonder how many rolls of toilet paper it will take to pay for that paint job.
#24
How quickly they cut people out of their lives.
Sometimes it can be a good thing to cut people out of your life. There are definitely people who are toxic to you and you are better off without their influence or presence. But it should almost always be bittersweet to actually do this.
People who actually brag about this usually are people who refuse to accept personal fault, or to work on themselves at all.
David 3 years ago
I know a couple of people who do this. In both cases I also know enough of their personal dirt / tea to know they would not want to be treated the way they treat others and that their, "It's everyone else not me" tales are in all cases at least exaggerated and in some cases complete fabrications of their own minds.
#25
Being "good at manipulation." Nuh-uh rule one of manipulation is to seem trustworthy
#26
Their luxurious material possessions and lavish lifestyle despite using debt and not having the money to support such a lifestyle.
The Scout 3 years ago
You can tell the really rich from the wannabe rich often by the way they display (or NOT display) their wealth. A Patek Phillipe costs about ten times the money of a Rolex, but it is simply an elegant, unimposing watch, while the Rolex is an ugly brick you are carrying on your wrist that just looks expensive. Simple black cashmere turtleneck vs. bright glittering Versace Jacket. Also, brand logos are frowned upon.
#28
being toxic, “omg I’m literally so manipulative uwu🥺 everyone’s afraid of me hehehe I’m so problematic and toxic, I constantly get cancelled online for *insert problematic/
offensive statement* No one can mess with me or else I’ll dox them, spread rumors and [take out] their whole family🤪I once beat someone up for bumping into me and I constantly use people for my own sake ahahaha“
#29
How much they identify with The Joker, Tommy Shelby, Tyler Durden, Jordan Belfort, or a number of other characters like that.
#30
Firing their employees. It can be necessary to do so, but when you brag about it (so real *bragging*, not just telling), it sounds like you love executing power over weaker people and hurting them.
#31
Getting a rise out of people isn’t particularly a difficult thing to do. People just do this because they like the feeling of control that they get like they can make someone else mad. I used to do this when I was younger, but then I realized I was just being an immature asshole.
#32
Owning dangerous pet Owning a lot of guns Being racist or anti gay Being rich Being promiscuous
#33
If a woman says "I'm not about that drama b******t" she is ALL about that drama.
#34
How "in the know" they are.
At some point, it just becomes you turning into a conspiracy nut
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
I knew a guy whose way of sharing info always began with "here's what you don't know." When told that he was basically calling others ignorant, he briefly apologized and kept doing it. He just didn't care.
#35
This is going back to my high school days but I knew a kid who bragged that her mam didn’t care. She could drink, smoke and do drugs! Half the time when you’d stop by her mother would offer to get you drugs. I learnt early on this isn’t cool and is a massive red flag. I’m not saying i’ve grown up to be sober and perfect but even I think it’s messed up to offer it to your kid. She literally didn’t care, she slept over at mine most days till social got involved. She used to brag to everyone at school though even after she’d been removed from her mother that she was cool. Sad to think how she turned out really.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
My aunt had a high school friend like that. After she told her friend she wouldn't be allowed to do those things, the friend said, I wish my mom cared about me enough to stop me. So sad.
#36
How they always tell it like it is, without sugar coating. Those people love to hurt others in the guise of honesty.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
This depends upon the culture you were raised in, too. In some countries, the people are very straightforward in a way that an American would interpret as rude, but it is the norm. Others are known for being extra polite.
#37
Bragging about a time they pushed moral boundaries in order to make a quick buck, and how “smart” they are for what they did. *Ex: buying out all the generators from 6 neighboring towns, waiting for the projected hurricane to hit, then upselling them to desperate homeowners to make a profit.* F*****g cruel.
#38
“I’m not like the other girls”
BetterBitterButter 3 years ago
If you have three eyes, breathe with your gills and there is an antannae on your head then you might not be like the other girls.
#39
My mom constantly brags about how big of a b***h she is and I'm just like... That's not a good thing
#40
When they brag about their firearms, especially in the plural. Talking excitedly about the yummy venison from the deer you legally bagged is fine. I’m not opposed to hunting, and I consider handgun ownership a personal choice as long as the owner also accepts absolute personal responsibility for it. But the people who own a deer rifle or do occasional target shooting with a handgun aren’t usually the same people who actually brag about their guns.
Kate Jones 3 years ago (edited)
As I've gotten older my stance on hunting has become less rigid. If you're going to actually use the animal then...okay. I don't understand why you feel the need to do that and I find it kind of silly that you need to play dress up in army fatigues and go out and kill something to eat. But...whatever. That being said, I despise sport hunting. 9 times out of 10 it's some jerk who would poop his own pants if ever put into an actually dangerous situation with an animal. The 'hunting' is really the park employees cornering the animal into a small space so some entitled little b***h can shoot a beautiful- often on the verge of extinction- animal in the head and take a picture of it to brag about to their friends. There's absolutely no point to it other than some person who feels insecure and inadequate having to hurt or kill an animal who did nothing to them in order to feel a momentary rush of superiority that they shouldn't even feel because you didn't do anything.
#41
Their investments. A particular Crypto, MLM, a stock pick or trading strategy, etc. More than likely they have an ego and got lucky and it will crash before they pull their money
#42
Bragging about illegal/shady stuff they get away with. They should be ashamed of that stuff and not proud of it.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
A criminal record impacts your life a lot more than just jail time. It can prevent travel, a career, relationships and so on. Young people who kill have effectively committed suicide, that's how much they have thrown away.
#43
How many people they've slept with.
#44
When someone one ups your struggles. It proves that they like to make conversations about themselves.
#46
Their IQ.
#47
If the residents of a town or neighborhood say that it’s a good place to raise children as one of the first reasons to move in, I assume it’s a pretty miserable place for everyone else.
#49
Or the similar salty person who has to drag you beyond their saltiness because you having any ounce of positivity drives them insane
CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago
I know what OP is talking about. I had a friend that would find the negative in every positive. Just got a raise? Well, your boss is going to work you like a mule. Got engaged. Well, it'll end within five years. Won the lottery, well, they'll take half in taxes.
#50
People who brag about how empathetic and compassionate they are. It seems to be motivated by a need for attention instead of actual caring about other beings more often than not.
#51
Every person I met who has ever told me "I will do anything I can to survive" has been a thief, and essentially says "How can you be mad at me, I told you so" when they inevitably get caught. Also, telling everyone that will listen that they are a "sociopath." I'm not a psychologist, but I'm pretty sure actual sociopaths don't go around telling people they are one. You're just an a*****e. Being an a*****e doesn't make you a sociopath.
Anaïs Grobin 3 years ago
Nope. And though most people with diagnosable psychopathy and ASPD don't feel one way or the other about harming people to obtain a goal, they DO fear non-social repercussions, like jail time and such, and most have no criminal record. They do not commit crimes, because being in prison does not align with their goals. The overwhelming majority of people incarcerated for violent crime do NOT have ASPD or psychopathy. Although I don't have ASPD, I have reason to know a lot about this subject. No, sociopaths don't go around bragging about it, but if asked.. many of them will happily tell you about it.
#52
People that won’t shut up about their “trauma” and hardships make questionable claims.
Hypoxia Smurf 3 years ago
Citing a brain injury in infancy gives me an excuse for any bad behavior, hey?
#53
Murdering people. Like, not jokingly, being like "I could totally get away with being [insert serial killer here". And the people who think that the Dahmer story is so mundane.
Donkey boi 3 years ago
I once heard it said that, 'The easiest way to get away with murder is to not tell anyone'.
#57
Currently It people online who say therapy should be avoid while flexing how bad there mental health Is.
Blurryface 3 years ago
Translation: Currently, it’s people online who say therapy should be avoided while flexing how bad their mental health is. Have a great day, lovely pandas!
#58
When people brag about how they could get their baby mum or dad back. And rave about how their ex getting a new partner isn't welcome.
#59
The results of their ancestry DNA tests. Mentioning it in passing when it’s relevant is fine and interesting but some people get way too attached to those percentages and never seen to stop bragging about how they’re 15% “something that makes me feel interesting to say I am”
Antoinette Maldari 3 years ago
Like people who brag that they are 1/16 Cherokee (or another Native American). Probably because the European invaders raped your great-great++ grandmother. Sorry.
#60
Couples that claim they never ever fight or argue, they’re a ticking time bomb.
King Joffrey 3 years ago
I've been with my wife for close to 20 years and we almost never fight (in the sense of having a shouting match). We often exchange arguments though...
#61
“Winning” the breakup.
#62
Since I’m still in school, it’s about how they can cheat their way through their grades and not get caught. Like sure we all do it every once and a while, but if that’s all you do for your grades, everyone just hears your not smart enough to do your work on your own or too lazy. Also, your bullshitting your way through high school? And you wanna go to COLLEGE? They’re probably not a good person.
#63
For women "I'm a b***h and I'm proud of it" comes to mind.
Bleep Bloop 3 years ago
Okay but, this often comes as a response to people saying you're a b***h because you're a woman and are assertive/outspoken/boundary -setting rather than people pleasing. Trying to reclaim the term and turn it into a shield is a natural reaction.
#64
Being an empath 🚩🚩🚩
#65
Bragging in general, not necessarily about achievement, but more along the lines of wealth, ownership, career.
Hypoxia Smurf 3 years ago
Most of what I've done in life is nothing to brag about. Aren't we all there?
#68
I once worked for a man who bragged about being a stone cold sociopath. And yep, he did not pay his invoices. I blame myself the most. Since then I have adopted "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I KILL U"
#69
how f****d up they got the day before
Carol Emory 3 years ago
I hated this being a non-traditional student in college. Every Monday having to hear the guys in the back talk about how wasted everyone was at the party. Yep...not something to be proud of.
#71
Yes. This means “I refuse to consider how my words might affect those around me.”
#72
On dating apps women will post something like this in their bio “il text you back immediately or 6 hours from now” or “bad at replying to text so don’t be upset” those women scream red flag to me lol
crowspectre (he/they) 3 years ago
Nah that's just how people are with phones. You shouldn't expect women or anyone yo be checking their phone ever 5 seconds
What do you think ?
Patrick Linnen 3 years ago
"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." - Dr. Maya Angelou
Greta Kolding 3 years ago
People who brag about how cheap they managed to buy something when holdaying in a poor country. That vendor needs to earn enough to feed himself and his family. Next to him tou are a f*****g millionaire, so at least pay a respectable price.
Jestinna Welch 2 years ago
This is one of the few things where my mom's opinion and mine differ. She says bargaining with the merchants is all part of the fun and experience when going to other countries. She believes that the merchants at tourists attractions in other countries over price things because they already know people are going to want to bargain. And that may have some truth to it, but my opinion is, if you see something you want, just buy it for what the vendor has marked. It's already gonna be less expensive. And most of that stuff is made by hand and a lot of work and effort goes into making it. Plus, like this thing says, I'm like a millionaire to them, comparatively speaking. Besides, it's not like we spent thousands of dollars on a vacation to save money. So, she cringes whenever I buy stuff a price value and I cringe whenever she starts bargaining lol.
Load More Replies... Greta Kolding 3 years ago
People who are proud of having a fierce temperament and frequently go completely ape s**t on others. Nothing to brag about, in my book - please learn self control.
Patrick Linnen 3 years ago
"When people show you who they are, believe them the first time." - Dr. Maya Angelou
Greta Kolding 3 years ago
People who brag about how cheap they managed to buy something when holdaying in a poor country. That vendor needs to earn enough to feed himself and his family. Next to him tou are a f*****g millionaire, so at least pay a respectable price.
Jestinna Welch 2 years ago
This is one of the few things where my mom's opinion and mine differ. She says bargaining with the merchants is all part of the fun and experience when going to other countries. She believes that the merchants at tourists attractions in other countries over price things because they already know people are going to want to bargain. And that may have some truth to it, but my opinion is, if you see something you want, just buy it for what the vendor has marked. It's already gonna be less expensive. And most of that stuff is made by hand and a lot of work and effort goes into making it. Plus, like this thing says, I'm like a millionaire to them, comparatively speaking. Besides, it's not like we spent thousands of dollars on a vacation to save money. So, she cringes whenever I buy stuff a price value and I cringe whenever she starts bargaining lol.
Load More Replies... Greta Kolding 3 years ago
People who are proud of having a fierce temperament and frequently go completely ape s**t on others. Nothing to brag about, in my book - please learn self control.
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