Judging others—it’s something that we all do, all the time. Whether we’re aware of it or entirely subconsciously, we’re constantly evaluating and interpreting the world around us. Making comments about people and situations in our heads. Checking how the world conforms to how we imagine it should be like. And frowning upon anyone who litters!

After being prompted to open up by redditor u/supercoliofy, internet users began sharing the things that make them silently judge people. Taking a deep dive into their comments is enlightening: we’ve judged people for similar things; we’ve done some of the things in this list that deserve judgment.

Read on for some silent judgment-gone-loud, upvote the posts you agree with, and drop on by the comment section to share your opinions, dear Pandas. Do bamboo thieves make you angry? Do you think people give other bears more recognition? We’re very interested to hear what makes you silently judge someone.

Bored Panda reached out to Lee Chambers, a Psychologist and Wellbeing Consultant, to talk about why we judge other people, as well as what role this plays in our lives.

"Judging others is something that we as humans do, both consciously and automatically, and there are a number of reasons why we do it. Comically, we are often told as children not to judge others and have stories shared about how judging others can mean we upset them or lose opportunities to see what really lies behind our perception," he told Bored Panda. Scroll down for our interview with Lee!

#1

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People I immediately judge you if you make fun of someone who's trying. I saw someone make fun of an overweight classmate despite the fact that he was doing diets, running, and exercising. He's putting an effort and you have no right to s**t on him.

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Loty
Community Member
4 months ago

When I see an overweight person in a gym I always silently say to myself "good for you"

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Psychologist Lee, the founder of Essentialise Workplace Wellbeing and PhenomGames, revealed to Bored Panda some of the reasons why we judge other people.

"Sometimes, we judge others to feel superior ourselves, finding faults in others, highlighting them, and feeling better about ourselves in the process. Sometimes, we use it to work out where we fit in, recognizing how we want to be, where our aspirations lie, and how we don't want to become," he said.

"Sometimes, it's in response to our own flaws, and we attack others for what we don't like or don't see into ourselves. And on other occasions, it's to fit into a wider group who judge something or someone, and we conform and perform with the same judgment."

#2

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People People who have no awareness of their surroundings when they're out in public.

It doesn't cost anything to wait your turn in a queue, hold a door open for someone, turn on your indicators 10 seconds earlier than you just did, or not block off the entire pavement because you want to hold hands with your husband / wife.

It's so selfish. Drives me mad just thinking about it.

Thank you for the gold, kind stranger.

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Serial pacifist
Community Member
4 months ago

This. People who cut lines, either in shops or on the road 🙅🏻‍♂️

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#3

people who don't say please and thank you.

people who act like a d**k to service staff like cashiers and waiters.

people who generally show a lack of consideration to other people.

one thing my dad always told me: manners cost nothing.

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adiiantryx
Community Member
4 months ago

manners cost nothing but it pays to have them

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According to Lee, being judgmental can be good and it "does have some benefits when used mindfully," however.

"It can help us to set goals, find alignment with our values, it can help us to build the self-awareness of others and it can boost our self-esteem," he told Bored Panda.

"Add to that it can also help us to make positive social choices, and it's understanding how and why we judge that gives us the ability to use it for our benefits instead of escaping our flaws or pulling others down."

#4

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People Littering. It hurts to watch, I don't see how people can litter.

Edit: Hey Cloin

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Brian Bennett
Community Member
4 months ago

I think it is what you are taught in the home this is something that needs to be learned from birth! If I tried it outside - would you do that at home?

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#5

I judge people for not washing their hands after using the bathroom

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𝙸'𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚘𝚘𝚋!(new account)
Community Member
4 months ago

OMG! YES! My OCD spikes out of control for things like this. End up getting panic attacks if I feel surrounded by too much of it😓

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#6

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People Racism. In any form.

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Caro Caro
Community Member
4 months ago

Don't be silent about racism. Judge loud and clear. Make sure people hear your voice.

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Far from everyone makes errors with malicious intent. Quite often, people aren’t even aware that they’re making a mistake. Or they might not think that something that elicits judgment (like parking wrong or being late to meet someone all the friggin’ time) is actually that big of a deal. It’s selfishness and we’ve all got that, just in varying amounts.

We know that being self-aware of our own flaws is difficult. For one, nobody likes thinking that they’re less than perfect. Besides, we don’t have the luxury of seeing our behavior from a different perspective. That’s why it’s important to speak up if you see someone constantly making the same mistakes.

#7

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People When they have no knowledge of the topic but is still arguing to the person who actually has the knowledge. I mean seriously if you dont know what you're talking about then stfu

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Vicious Insect (they/them)
Community Member
4 months ago

I agree with Gordon here

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#8

40 People Open Up About What Makes Them Silently Judge People having a ton of kids while poor

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lenka
Community Member
4 months ago

If you are poor, you probably don't have access to affordable birth control.

Delboy
Community Member
4 months ago

Happens in countries like mine where birth control is free, education is given at school and abortion is readily available (again free)

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RP
Community Member
4 months ago

Not always a choice. Abuse, lack of access to medical services, a history of trauma leading you to try and fill a void of love with children. People can be broken easily, getting out of the cycle is hard.

Monday
Community Member
4 months ago

This is a pretty unfair one. Let's consider a situation where a financially stable family had 7 children, because they could afford to have 7 children and wanted a big family. Then suddenly the parents lose their jobs due to some large scale event, their savings quickly wither away from normal bills and some unforeseen health issues and now they're living below the breadline and people are judging and saying "well if you're so damn poor you shouldn't have had so many kids".

Katie Coxie
Community Member
4 months ago

That's hardly the norm and not what original poster was referring to. People who don't work and won't pay into a system yet expect handouts. Why should they have 7 subsidised kids whilst other people work to support their kids is what was meant.

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Jo Choto
Community Member
4 months ago

Easy to say, but a lot of people don't have a choice. Reasons: They have no access to birth control. Their religion doesn't allow it/encourages procreation. Children/sons are seen as success or wealth. Children are needed to help with farming and earning money. Cultural and social expectations. The reason why most wealthy people have fewer children is because they have endless choices. Poor people frequently do not.

iBlank
Community Member
4 months ago

Right! I am disgusted, not so much by the people involved, but by most of the reasons you listed that put them in that situation. Antiquated beliefs that date back to the beginning of civilization, before over-population became the crisis that it is now

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Caro Caro
Community Member
4 months ago

And pets and cars. I've seen many struggling families with 4 kids, 3 big dogs and a couple of cars of which only one actually works.

NsG
Community Member
4 months ago

I'd actually say multiple pets while poor gets more judgement from me than kids. In some cases the kids were unplanned (through lack of access to birth control or insufficient education and no help towards options provided - I have a different set of judgements reserved for if this support is readily available) but pets are always optional. And you can often tell whether it's a case of circumstances resulting in financial change (and you don't get rid of family just because you're newly poor and pets are family), or if it's always been like that and they just don't think beyond the next day and how to feed all these extra mouths.

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Gavin Johnson
Community Member
4 months ago

People judging others without actually knowing all the facts. Until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes keep your thoughts to your own trials and tribulations. There are many reasons that folk find themselves in financial difficulties, many that are out of their control, stop being so judgemental over something so complex.

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 months ago

That’s the whole point. Things you instantly judge for. Remember?

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tuzdayschild
Community Member
4 months ago

My first real job was for an engineering company owned by the youngest of 15 kids, raised in a poor family. They were given a great work ethic and now he employs dozens of people. You don't always need stuff to raise good people.

Chris Jones
Community Member
4 months ago

Plus people can be good despite poor parenting. Not all children of so called bad parents end up that way themselves. Many of us can look at our childhoods with clear eyes and see what was right and wrong.

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Christine Kuhn
Community Member
4 months ago

So, in the worst case they lack the mental capacity to use birth control....being not intelligent is a crime now? Say it open: you think they do it for the welfare money. And then prove your accusation. What's wrong with poor people having children? That we pay for it? We pay more in subsidies for big companies, shouldn't we stop that first, if money is a problem?

Caro Caro
Community Member
4 months ago

Yes, we should stop paying subsidies. That money is never used for the workers, it goes to the billionaires pockets and shareholders. I'm against this and we need a proper minimum wage so that everybody can live a normal life and pay their bills, take care of and afford children, FREE healthcare etc.

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Stephanie Keith
Community Member
4 months ago

The earth provides everything we humans already need to exist, live, create, build, and thrive. People do not have to go without their needs being met or stop having kids. The issue is bigger than that. We are run by a system that controls our needs with money. Make no mistake about it, we do not have to go without because we already have what we all need as far as resources go to live. We will be denied basic human needs if we don't have enough money. Not because we aren't working or putting in enough effort. But because of a one sided corrupt system that controls everything and everyone with money. It shouldn't be that way when we all have equal needs as human beings. There being enough for all people to sustain themselves. The problem is not the people who have to many kids. The problem is selfish, greedy, evil rulers who chose to create a have and have not world.

Justine Queequag
Community Member
4 months ago

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Blame game

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El muerto
Community Member
4 months ago

people that shame others because their poor...

Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
4 months ago

Different topic. This isn’t Shame for being poor, it’s shame for having kids you can’t afford. Remember? It’s right up there.

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Alex Edgley
Community Member
4 months ago

So now having children and pets is only for the well off. Poor people should obviously just live their lives and die alone.

Christine Kuhn
Community Member
4 months ago

And, reading some comments here, also without cars, houses, holidays (let's add phones and takeaway while we're at it)... Yeah,how horrible if we allowed poor people nice things. Better to support Walmart's poverty wages with our taxes, or subsidies for big companies!

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Veronica Sjöberg
Community Member
4 months ago

You have no say in others reproductive rights. You are free to be child free or have 10 children and no one should judge you. Some of the best parents I know are the ones considered "low income". Because they know they can't afford to "buy" their kids so they must be there for them. Find ways to be creative. Should we do mandatory sterilization for all poor people? And what if they had a higher income and then lost their jobs, should we take away their kids? What if the kids are a product of abuse? You never know. And in the end it doesn't matter.

Eiram
Community Member
4 months ago

I disagree because kids are humans and need personal and individual care. No person is a truly good parent to 10 kids (I suspect more than 2 is too much), because with so many to mind the parent is just a caretaker. I can say this because as the middle of 7 we all experienced great neglect and many kinds of abuse (mother did her best, father just worked). That many kids are just servants or organized like an army... none get real attention or help that matters.

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Healing Moon Breezes
Community Member
4 months ago

Ain't nothing wrong with being poor or being raised poor.

Melissa Boatman Linebaugh
Community Member
4 months ago

I have to admit to feeling this. A relative of mine has 5 kids and was a YUGE supporter of the prior administration and hates the damn commie liberals. Yet he happily takes food assistance and government insurance for his kids while refusing to commit to a full-time job. It’s mind boggling.

Justine Queequag
Community Member
4 months ago

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Exactly why work when you can get handouts poor people have a long history of quitting school,, quitting jobs quitting life and then blaming the rest of the world

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Fabian Meresse
Community Member
4 months ago

Being judgamental while probably not being poor

Jay Tamaalii
Community Member
4 months ago

I get where the OP is coming from where impoverished people deliberately have children whilst receiving government assistance. But it also hit close to home for me. My immigrant parents raised myself and my 3 siblings and we had a comfortable life up until I was 7. I'm the youngest. My dad got laid off after dealing with a workplace injury and we ended up becoming poor. I just remember struggling so bad and the many nights we went hungry yet my parents always found a way to make sure we were fed and clothed all while not receiving a single f**king handout from the government. Then we get conservative, closed minded, heartless nitwits who make assumptions that families like mine relied solely on govt assistance and are lazy and don't want to work. Kindly f*** off. Unless you understand impoverished ppls stories and approach them with empathy and understanding, you will never understand why they're poor. Don't make assumptions. It just makes you look uglier.

Cheri Aline Sydney
Community Member
4 months ago

I agree with everything you said Jay with the exception of your comment about "conservatives"... There are jerks on both sides of the aisle.... There were many negative, unkind, factually untrue, comments made on this topic, which were made by liberals. I make this analysis based on other comments the individuals have made elsewhere. Your comment is unfair to a vast number of conservatives and overly dismissive of a considerable number of offending liberals.

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housea
Community Member
4 months ago

I was born to a single teenage mother and was raised in poverty as 1 of 4 kids. I am now upper middle class, have a PhD and take care of my mother in her old age; I have zero debt and am a productive member of society. I know a LOT of poor families whose parents do a much better job than their wealthy counterparts. It is so elitist and ridiculous to assume that poverty = bad parents = bad children. Seriously, get over yourselves.

Josy Bannon
Community Member
4 months ago

I hear you

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Bart
Community Member
4 months ago

Or having a ton of kids for religious reasons...

Josy Bannon
Community Member
4 months ago

Or as a status symbol to match their nice house.

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MagicalUnicorn
Community Member
4 months ago

people should be able have kids only after passive extensive testing

Zophra
Community Member
4 months ago

unfortuately, this sounds like eugenics....

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Paula Marowsky
Community Member
4 months ago

Yeah, because only rich people have the rigth to have children. Anyone knows money makes people better parents, right?? *eyeroll*

Natalia Shoemark
Community Member
4 months ago

And pets too!

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guy barron
Community Member
4 months ago

But absolutely, let's make sure there are NO Planned Parenthood clinics in certain areas.

Salty Baritone
Community Member
4 months ago

You do realize the history of eugenics, planned parenthood, and black communities, right? In New York City, more black babies are aborted than born. Which was the plan…

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KatHat
Community Member
4 months ago

An acquaintance just found out she's pregnant for the second time. She's poor. She's in an abusive relationship (hint: she doesn't always have a say about whether she'll have sex or not). She already has a toddler. She also lives in Texas, and she found out she was pregnant at 7 weeks. Already past the point of legal abortion, which is 6 weeks. So - now what? Take THAT up with the asshole GQP who have decided that she shouldn't have any choices. She'll have that child and how will she pay for it? The GQP don't want to pay for healthcare or education or ANYTHING but they will make her bear that child. So maybe judge less.

Chris Jones
Community Member
4 months ago

I hope she finds the strength and wherewithal somehow to get away from her abuser. I know it's a terrifying situation to be in. Not to mention the brainwashing that goes on to make people stay - it should never be underestimated. If she won't leave for herself, which she should as she matters, she should leave for the children. They end up damaged as well. Poor woman. No judgement here, just sadness.

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