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Deciding to marry someone is one of the biggest choices we ever make. It’s full of excitement, hope, and sometimes, unexpected realizations. Because, while saying “Yes” can feel magical, there are moments when something shifts, and that “Yes” turns into a very firm “No.”

That’s exactly what sparked an online thread where someone asked, “People who called off their weddings, why?” The responses came pouring in, revealing everything from sudden red flags to heartbreaking betrayals. In this collection, people share the real, raw, and sometimes even hilarious reasons they pulled the plug before walking down the aisle. Whether you're curious, cautious, or just love a good escape story, these moments are full of emotion, self-awareness, and a surprising amount of relief.

#1

Man in blue shirt and loosened tie drinking whiskey, reflecting on people who called off their wedding decisions. Not me but my older cousin. She was engaged to a man who had previously had a drinking problem. She refused to get engaged to him until he got sober. He did, so they got engaged and planned their wedding.

Nine days before the wedding she found out he started drinking again. She instantly cancelled the wedding.

I remember being a very young teenager at the dinner table where all my aunts, my mother, great aunt, and my grandmother were gossiping about it. And by gossiping I mean they were all heavily praising my cousin for sticking to her guns and knowing when to leave. They ALL agreed it was so much better to leave before the wedding.

It was a formative moment for me.

Here were all these older women, who were country club members and old fashioned and had already spent all this money to fly in, and they were ALL absolutely on my cousins side from the jump. This wasn’t a cheap wedding. These weren’t “new age” women. And since it had been hidden so well, they all had no idea about the drinking problem and had actually loved the soon-to-be-groom. He’d had total family approval.

It made me so much more comfortable than my peers leaving relationships that just weren’t working. I knew my family wouldn’t judge me even if he seemed nice and it would be a hassle for them if I decided “no”. So I didn’t stick around bad relationships and never felt pressure to keep up appearances that everything was perfect around my family.

I’m so grateful to my cousin for having the courage to cancel that wedding. And I’m so happy for her she’s in a rock solid marriage now with wonderful children she’s raising to know they’re loved and supported.

Hereibe , rthanuthattaphong Report

Lila Allen
Community Member
6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love that the older women in her family gave her a shiny spine so she doesn't feel obligated to stay in bad relationships.

Roni Stone
Community Member
Premium
6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Shiny spine. I really like that imagery. The collective supported one of the members.

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Parmeisan
Community Member
6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is an excellent reminder to all of us. Children hear what you say, and watch what you do, and your reactions and choices throughout your life can have lasting impact on *their* lives.

Anxious&Bored Bear
Community Member
6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a beautiful legacy to pass onto the next generations.

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    #2

    Two children playing with a blue fishing game toy, illustrating people who called off their wedding breaking down why. I had two of my own very young children. I told him while we were dating I wasn't sure I wanted more children so if it was what he was looking for we should split. About 8 months later, he asked me to marry him. The more arrangements we made he kept talking about growing the family. I agreed when my youngest was in school I would have one more so he could have a bio child. He kept talking about having 5 more.

    I kept telling him it wasn't too late to call off but I wasn't having five more. He insisted he loved me and didn't care if we had any more but he always dreamt of a big family. A WEEK out from the wedding I heard him talking to a buddy that planned on forcing me into creating his family.

    Four days from the wedding, I canceled and ended our relationship.

    27 years later, he is married w/6 kids and one on the way.

    I am married w/ my 2 adult kids in their 30's and my nephew in his early 20's.

    We were out thousands of dollars but it saved us both from being unhappy.

    If you are asking because you are considering it. DO IT.

    Trust yourself and do not worry what everyone else will think.

    2angel22 , Polesie Toys Report

    ॐBoyGanesh
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Force her? That would make this guy an abüser at best, but more likely a rāpist.

    Cee Cee
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mess with contraception is my take on this vile individual.

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    Deborah B
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're out the wedding expenses either way. If you cancel it, look on it as saving money by not having the divorce bills too.

    Earonn -
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    tbh, the forced breeder deserves to be unhappy. Forcing a woman to have his children? WTF, these Joseph Fritzl fanboys need to be sterilised.

    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Master manipulator. Get's what he wants but makes seem like it was your idea. Classic

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    #3

    Older woman looking upset and distant during a conversation about people who called off their wedding and breakup reasons. His mother. It felt like she was planning her own wedding. I had no say in anything. She uninvited my best friend and cousins from my bridal party behind my back because they were single and instead invited a niece of hers I never met and the groomsmen gfs who I barely knew. She booked a hall and picked the menu without consulting us even though she wasn't contributing a cent. Whenever I brought up all this to my now ex, he took his mother's side. That to me was massive red flag and knew she was always going to be butting in and he would always take her side so I called it all off.

    His now wife is a mini version of his mother. She used to be cute but now has same Karen haircut and colour as his mother and even dressed the same as her. Glad I walked out of that mess while I could.

    SchmoopsAhoy , YuriArcursPeopleimages Report

    Katiekat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Holy emotional incest, Batman!

    Max Fox
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We HOPE that it's emotional only, because if his wife is modeling herself physically after his mom, then I don't know.

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    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!! A lot of people would have ignored that flag

    Sam Trudeau
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally fair to stay out of things like that

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    When a fairytale wedding on screen suddenly takes a dramatic turn, doesn’t your heart skip a beat? While it might seem like that level of chaos is reserved for rom-coms or soap operas, real-life wedding drama can be just as intense and even more unpredictable. This thread is proof that sometimes, the aisle turns into a runway... straight out the door.

    From betrayals to buried secrets, there are plenty of reasons someone might cancel a wedding at the last minute. Cheating, lies, or even realizing they’re not ready—some red flags just can’t be ignored. And when those deal-breakers surface right before “I do,” calling it off can be the hardest, yet bravest, decision of all.

    #4

    Couple having a heated argument at home, illustrating relationship issues that led to calling off their wedding. We hadn't sent the invites yet but had booked the venue. They started talking about starting a family right away. They had known I was child free for the duration of our relationship. I guess they just thought that I was trapped and would change my mind? I did, about marrying them.

    I'm so grateful to younger me for sticking to my guns.

    Margray , YuriArcursPeopleimages Report

    nm
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    arthbach
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me introduce you to a concept that's been around since William Shakespeare's day, singular 'they'. When a person's séx is not divulged we can use the clunky 'he/she' or the more useful 'they'. - - - There's also the possibility they (as in the writer of unknown séx) was referring to their fiance/e and family.

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    #5

    Man wrapped in foil hat and blanket holding a sign, illustrating people who called off their wedding reasons. My friend's fiancé turned out to be a flat-earther. Guess that was the tip of the iceberg. Wedding's off, sanity's intact.

    Gold_Platform_8781 , dmytros9 Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so strange to me for someone to believe the earth is flat...like...we have so much proof. It's not the 1400s.

    Tropical Tarot
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many people knew that it is round. Christopher Columbus just thought it was smaller than it actually is. He didn't know about the Americas.

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    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️🏃🏻‍♀️

    Vinny DaPooh
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://youtu.be/JsETzrRr3is?si=GFpTHQ5KxohIopuu Antarctica experiment should have ended this once and for all

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    #6

    Hands holding a rosary with a cross in a church pew, symbolizing reflection on people who called off their wedding. Even though the bride wasn't a practicing Jehovah's Witness she still wanted the atheist groom to convert to please her very religious family who weren't coming to the wedding and hadn't spoken a word to him during the three years they had been dating.

    darybrain , Dolina Modlitwy Report

    Ace
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Difficult to imagine how an atheist could "convert".

    Mike F
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like he got the better end of that deal.

    Dusty's mom
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does a Catholic Rosary have to do with Jehova's Witness? This photo is kind of offensive.

    SaraCapybara
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure rosary beads have a role in Jehovah's Witness ceremonies.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    JW is known to be a cult. So essentially she was asking him to enter a cult. No thank you l!

    Billo66
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Man, religion really is just random people believing random stuff isn't it? And everyones is the best. I probably didn't pick right. I can't even find a 4 leaf clover. I think Agnostic aptly descibes me. Like Schrödinger's God. Only now, we have to close the box to find out hehe.

    Sven Horlemann
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, please lie and fake it, because, that is how we live our religion.

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    The emotional toll of a canceled wedding is heavy, not just for the couple, but for everyone around them. There’s heartbreak, embarrassment, and lots of unanswered questions. But let’s not forget the financial blow. With venues, vendors, travel, and attire involved, it’s not just feelings that get crushed, it’s wallets, too.

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    To better understand the financial impact of wedding cancellations, Bored Panda spoke with Raghubir Singh, the founder of BMP Weddings. With years of experience and a reputation for pulling off elegant, large-scale events, Singh has seen it all. He generously offered insight into what happens behind the scenes when things don’t go as planned. "There’s more to it than just a postponed celebration," he said. “It affects everyone who was a part of building the big day.” And the ripple effect is often bigger than most people imagine.

    #7

    Healthcare worker in blue scrubs and gloves holding a coronavirus vaccine vial, relating to people who called off their wedding. She turned out to be an antivaxxer.

    Septopuss7 , freepik Report

    Mike F
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like that is something that would come up in conversation some time during the relationship.

    quentariel
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe, but before covid it's possible that the topic just never came up. Especially if you don't have kids or are not travelling anywhere where vaccines are recommended. But covid really flushed out all antivaxxers in the open.

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    Sam Trudeau
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anti-vaxxers aren't funny, they aren't "non-conformists". They're a dangerous branch of humanity that we need to get rid of. Canada still has hope with its vaccine mandates being in effect

    K Barnes
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some of Canada. The premier of Alberta called the anti-vaxxers one of the most "discriminated against" groups there is.

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    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    🚩🏃🏻‍♀️🚩🏃🏼🚩🏃🏼‍♀️🚩🏃🏼🚩

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    #8

    Pregnant person gently holding their belly, illustrating stories of people who called off their wedding and reasons why. She got pregnant and I do not have a p***s to facilitate that.

    It ended up being the best thing for me in the long run! I moved cross country and have a better than I could’ve ever imagined having with her!

    Tate_0_tot , RDNE Stock project Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of that post some time back with the navy officer asking for time off citing "my wife wants to get pregnant this weekend and I'd like to be there when it happens" lol

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was a story recently about another woman in this situation. Her partner swore she hadn't been unfaithful and for once Reddit didn't jump to OMG leave her. They said either she's been drugged and r***d or the doctor f****d up. Turns out that even though she told the doctor she hadn't had s*x with a man they refused to do more tests beyond the pregnancy test. Pregnancy hormones present without other indications of pregnancy should require further tests because the person could have ovarian cancer - which they did. Thankfully reddit's advice led to the OP going with her partner to get a second opinion and finding out the truth early enough for her partner to get treatment. NB if you're AMAB and you test positive for pregnancy that also means you might have cancer (prostate cancer in this case) so if any of you guys or your friends take one as a joke/drunken dare and come up positive, go see a doctor ASAP.

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    Nina
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That does sound like a red flag 😅

    Timbob
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Better what ?

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    #9

    Man lying on a brown leather couch, looking at phone, illustrating people who called off their wedding reasons. A coworker called off her wedding because her fiance did none of the planning with her. He just starfish’ed his way through. The final straw was when she pulled up a catering meal plan she tried to plan with him *for six months*, and he lost it on her because “she should’ve known his father hated cottage cheese.”

    Broke up with him there, reimbursed him for the measly “half” he paid for everything…which was like only 25%.

    100percentapplejuice , ipolly80 Report

    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too, want to know what "starfished" means. Sounds like maybe they just laid there inert with arms and legs splayed out?

    Nina
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. As I know it, it means the woman just laying like a starfish while having sëx, so just being present without actively participating.

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    Mike F
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTAF is "starfish'ed his way through"?

    Zena
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've only heard of "starfishing" to describe a woman who just lies on her back, arms and legs open (like a starfish), not doing anything at all to participate except being present, during s*x. So I assume it's the "not doing anything at all to participate except being present", thinking that's sufficient part, that applies here.

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    Nova Rook
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heard starfished a decade or so back when playing hockey with some older teens. They chirped at their buddy for 'starfishing' and when I gave them a 'what'? they said look how he looks - he was just lying on the ice doing nothing. No idea how this term originated or other meanings but it popped its head up into hockey culture.

    azubi
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Rika, though downvoted, might have a Point. Overall, I'm a little suspicious as to why all these stories are only ever told by those who are in the right.

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cottage cheese on a wedding catering menu...?

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for her, saves on the divorce costs 👍

    Kalikima
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who serves cottage cheese at a wedding? Honest question..

    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It could be an ingredient. In my culture we have quite a few food items where cottage cheese features prominently. Maybe it's because of this, but I seriously don't understand the hate it gets (or why some people act as if it's a completely new idea).

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    Rika
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    What's the context, though ? The man might be an AH... or the coworker might be the AH who forced him into a wedding and expected him to be very excited about it.

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    “We put our souls into every wedding,” Singh shared. “From custom decor to intricate planning, everything is tailored to the couple.” The goal is always to create an unforgettable experience. "But when a wedding is called off, all that preparation often goes to waste." While the emotional toll is high for the couple, Singh reminds us the work doesn't disappear. The effort from dozens of professionals often vanishes without recognition.

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    #10

    Couple arguing outside a house, illustrating people who called off their wedding and reasons behind breakup. He became violent during our engagement, finally choking me until I was unconscious. I visited my parents a few days later. I assume my dad saw the bruises, because for the first time I can remember he had a sit-down, emotional conversation to ask if this was the life I really wanted, where I saw myself in 5 years. I realized my now-ex was probably going to k**l me, and indeed he did point a gun at me when I broke up with him. I had to get a restraining order and actually ended up studying abroad that summer in an attempt to get away from him. He moved schools and later married (then divorced) my step-cousin.

    LuvMyD0ggo , RDNE Stock project Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for her. She got out. Glad her dad stepped up and showed her she would be supported if she got away.

    Joe Reaves
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    According to experts, your partner choking you is the biggest red flag that they will go on to murder you. Even if you've decided for whatever reason that you can live with someone occasionally laying hands on you (no one should have to live with that but it can be hard to leave a DV situation) if your partner ever chokes you (non-consensually) IMMEDIATELY make a plan to safely escape. There are charities out there that will help you if you don't have a support network.

    Nikole
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can see that, because it’s so personal and visceral, and you have to keep at it.

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    Kristin
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's so scary to be in an a*****e relationship 😕 I can't stand when I hear people say "well just leave" it's not that simple and alot dont realize it's the most dangerous time to attempt. I know first hand from my ex husband.

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad her dad finally stood up to the mark and gave her fatherly advice and support ❤️

    #11

    Couple sitting on bed facing each other closely, illustrating people who called off their wedding and relationship struggles. Two weeks out I walked into her on top of my (now ex) friend on Valentine's Day. That'll do it.

    jbp216 , Annu1tochka Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well that would be completely devastating.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Certainly took the romance out of Valentine's Day probably permanently.

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    Kristin
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dont understand cheaters and can't stand them. If your unhappy then f****n end it!!!! If something is wrong in the relationship then talk about it and try to resolve it and if it dont resolve then end it!!!

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, but why did you leave her alone on V-day?

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    people do have to work, go to school keep living their lives.

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    #12

    Two young girls holding hands and walking outdoors on a wooden path, symbolizing friendship and support after calling off wedding. Had a cousin that called off his wedding a month before. He found out she had already been married before and had 2 young kids that she left back in her home country.

    TwinkieHead , Pixabay Report

    geezeronthehill
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if she got a divorce or just left.

    Sparkle
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In some countries women can't get divorced period. The only way to get out is to run. Sometimes it's safer to leave the kids then risk your husband coming after you.

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    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    These are pretty important things to mention 😔

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    “We always try to be empathetic,” he added. “It’s a heartbreaking decision for the couple.” But even with understanding, the practical side remains. “There are caterers, decorators, lighting teams, florists: we all put in days of effort.” When a wedding is canceled suddenly, these professionals are left with expenses and lost opportunities. “That’s the part people rarely think about,” he said.

    Singh noted that large venues usually demand significant deposits that are often much more than 10%. “It’s money we pay upfront to lock the date and space,” he said. If a wedding is canceled close to the date, that money is typically gone. “Most venues don’t offer refunds for last-minute cancellations,” he explained. In some cases, a penalty is added on top of the loss.

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    #13

    Couple in bed appearing distant and upset, illustrating emotions of people who called off their wedding. I had a medical crisis requiring multiple surgeries, and his reaction was to yell at me for faking illnesses to get out of housework and breaking my things to “motivate” me to get out of bed. He seemed so relieved when I ended it, that I’m pretty sure that was exactly what he wanted without looking like the bad guy.

    nopersh8me , Pavel Danilyuk Report

    Orysha
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It makes him look even worse.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah I am not sure how it makes him look like the good guy that he noped out because she was sick and destroyed property in retaliation for her getting sick.

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait, breaking up makes him look like the bad guy, but breaking her things doesn't? What a p***k.

    Jane Doe
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WTF scumbags is she dating that "braking things" is not bad guy behaviour? OH, he could say she broke up with him. Poor guy had no idea it was coming. So she's not going to tell anyone what really happened? It won't get out at all?

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    Janelle Collard
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wonder if he had a side piece all along? 🤔

    Amanda Reinstatler
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a punk b!tch coward. Like those losers who tell their SO's bestie about how they cheated, "but please dont tell" which they of course will, and the loser wont have to do the dirty work

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like an a*****e situation. Multiple reasons but also for the breaking of Her things not his. She is so much better off without him in her life ❤️

    barbara Nivens
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something like this is why my ex is an ex. I had my first neck surgery, could do nothing for 3 months. Not a thing, neck brace 24/7 and he acted like I did it just to get him. Friends took better care of me than he did.

    #14

    Couple in tense conversation at home, reflecting on reasons why they called off their wedding. He said, if I knew you had a chronic illness, I never would have dated you.

    While beating him to arrange all the refunds, I found out…
    1. He was on parole for a cyber fraud crime
    2. He was trying to pull a dodgy on our home loan application during settlement which placed all the risk against my parents home.

    FatPabloParty , Media_photos Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OK this is why we run background checks before we get serious with people.

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    #15

    Security officer standing outside with arms crossed wearing sunglasses during daytime, illustrating reasons people called off their wedding. Two months before the wedding, police showed up at the house stating they had a warrant for his arrest.

    For robbing a gas station of Kratom. (OTC d**g?)

    Dude had a raging a*******n and I realized this was not the life I wanted to live. Dumped him and the house like a sack of rocks.

    Few years later I rekindled with my highschool sweetheart and we now have a beautiful baby, hold out until you find what you really deserve and never, ever settle for less

    Edit: no more wedding police

    Hungrytapeworm- , Kindel Media Report

    Na Schi
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Typically BP and I'm so tired to guess what the censored word in this case is. It's not äddiction or ässault nor ässhole... Can someone maybe help me please to figure it out? (The "drüg" was obvious at least). Thank you all in advance.

    Grazina Strolia
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do you say it's not ad-diction? That's what I read it as...

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    Kristin
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes I looked up Kratom lol and it brought up a tree. I was a little confused 😕 lmao

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    Catering costs are another major concern. “Most caterers ask for full payment before the event,” Singh said. “They need time to source high-quality ingredients, especially for custom menus.” He explained that many Indian weddings require imported or specialty items. “Once that food is prepped, we can’t just return it,” he added. “We let the staff take some, and the rest is donated to avoid waste.”

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    Florists also take a hit when weddings are canceled last minute. “Indian weddings use an enormous amount of fresh flowers,” Singh explained. “Garlands, backdrops, table settings, it adds up.” These flowers are ordered in bulk and often customized. “They’re perishable, and we can’t repurpose them for another client.” That’s a lot of cost that can’t be recovered.

    #16

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever I was 19 and about to marry a loser but I was “in love”. My best friend said she wouldn’t be my maid of honour if I went through with it. She was not a bossy woman, nor was she comfortable saying it. I walked away and am extremely thankful I did.

    Pellegrino22 , SHVETS production Report

    #17

    Couple kissing passionately outdoors while friends in the background discuss people who called off their wedding reasons. She went to a party, found someone better and called it off about 2,5 months before the wedding. 10 yrs together, 2 kids.

    That’s 2 years ago, I’m not doing well.

    Whackles , ImageSourceCur Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh wow...does this really happen...like I know it happened here but like, is this common or were there other things happening in that 10 years. Really messed up for the other person though.

    ElfVibratorGlitter
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe, you don't know her side. He could be a raging alcoholic or something? Not saying he is...

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    #18

    Couple lying in bed with intertwined feet under a star-patterned blanket, illustrating people who called off their wedding. Caught her cheating 3 months before.

    darth-skeletor , maksymiv Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is wrong with these people?? Why commit and then cheat? If you don't want to be with them, just break up. I mean how hard is that?

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    “We also pay the DJ in advance,” Singh added. “That locks in their time so they don’t take other gigs.” If a cancellation happens, the payment is non-refundable. “They’ve reserved the day for us, and that’s income lost if we cancel.” For live performers and specialty artists, the same rules usually apply. “It’s a professional courtesy and part of the cost.”

    Other service providers might not require advance payment, but that doesn’t mean there’s no financial hit. “Hair stylists, makeup artists, transport vendors, some we pay after the event,” he said. “But even they often charge a cancellation fee.” Singh said that it’s standard in the industry. “You can’t pull out last-minute and expect zero loss,” he added.

    #19

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever She told me that she was settling for me and had viewed our relationship as transactional for some time.


    I wanted a spouse not a roommate.

    PoorlyDrawnBees , Vera Arsic Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truly don't get how you could stay married to someone you don't love. I mean with the ups and downs and frustrations... why would you put up with that if you didn't love them?

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    #20

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever She hit me.

    anon , engin akyurt Report

    AtMostAFabulist
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No reason to stay after that.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have got to start teaching people abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter if it's guy hitting girl or girl hitting guy. It's abuse. Period. I know way too many guys who are too ashamed to admit that they are being abused because their a****r is a woman.

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    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    women hitting men is not talked about enough. My mother was the violent drunk, my father doesn't know that we remember.

    Pollymere
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate that people think DV is only men hurting women. It's women hitting their partners, and men hitting their partners, irrespective of gender.

    #21

    Family playing outdoors as a child joyfully swings between parents, reflecting on people who called off their wedding reasons. I was engaged and one night my fiancée was leaving my place and went to say bye to my two young kids. My son said “Bye, I love you!” My fiancée didn’t say it back, looked like he saw a ghost. I gave it a few days before saying, “You know we need to talk about the other night, right?” And he said, “I don’t know what happened, all I could think was I need to get out of here now”. That was it, I called it off. In hindsight I shouldn’t have ever accepted his proposal before he told my kids he loved them.
    That said, he was a wonderful boyfriend and I’m thankful for the fun times we had. He just wasn’t ready to be a step dad at all.

    Optimal_Character516 , Gustavo Fring Report

    and_a_touch_of_the_’tism
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s… kinda nice actually? Sounds like OP doesn’t have any harsh feelings

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah this sounds like a good and positive choice for both of them. He recognized he wasn't ready. They talked and decided to separate. If only everyone could be self aware and communicate.

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    UpupaEpops
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I appreciate that OP cared about the feelings of her children enough to not force someone on them who doesn't want them.

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the thing, not everyone is ready to be a parent/or step parent. I have no maternal instincts at all and I'm 51. This story is kind of sad 😔

    Pollymere
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I realised "Fiancé"... It made a lot more sense.

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    “And then, of course, we pay our own staff,” Singh continued. “From planners to assistants, everyone works long hours.” The preparations for a wedding often start weeks in advance. “Even if the event doesn’t happen, their time and effort deserve compensation.” That payroll doesn’t stop just because a party didn’t happen. “We still have a team to support.”

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    #22

    Close-up of a clenched fist symbolizing people who called off their wedding and shared their reasons. He punched me in the face.

    I was going to type the story but it's not interesting or important. We got into a fight and he was an emotional troglodyte who reacted accordingly.

    I called the cops and took half the money out of our checking account. We were living paycheck to paycheck so everything bounced. I laughed about it to his bestie when he called to tell me to give it back.

    omgkelwtf , wirestock Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey you saw the signs and you reacted appropriately. You got out. That's what matters.

    #23

    Couple having a serious discussion at home, reflecting on reasons people called off their wedding and starfish’ed through it. We moved in together after the engagement. Her Armenian parents threw a $20k engagement party at a yacht club and invited something like 50 people. I invited my family and like 6 friends. There was a priest who said something in Armenian. It was essentially a wedding without the vows. 

    Anyway, we moved in together on a 6 month lease and it became very apparent that she did not know how to function in life. Didn’t pay her own bills or credit cards yet thought I was financially irresponsible because I had student loans and credit card debt from college. 

    She was so spoiled and out of touch that when we looked for houses her requirements were, “AT LEAST 2,000 sq ft and a pool.” Maybe her dad would have given us the down payment, but I wasn’t sticking around to find out.

    Ninja edit: Mind you, this was in 2008 right before the crash. Homes like she wanted were $800k+ and large numbers of them would soon be foreclosed on after they drop by half

    Back to original:

    She wanted me to get rid of my cats. She got pissed off and jealous when I went to my sister’s baby shower a day early to help saying, “I’m way more important than some baby.” She didn’t like me spending time with anyone but her and she didn’t want to spend time with my family. She wanted to stop having s*x until we were married because her aunt told her it was in the Bible. I made it clear that any one of those things was a dealbreaker for me. 

    She got sick, threw up all over the apartment and didn’t clean it up, expecting me to do it, which I did when I got home out of caring for her but 8 hours of vomit on carpet left a stain. The second time she got sick and threw up all over the bathroom and I told her she can do it or leave the bathroom door shut. It took a week. 

    Then came the baby trap. I saw it, side stepped it, and made plans to go. Got a new job, moved back to my home town, and got my happiness back. That was all in 4 months of the 6 month lease. I realized most of the way through that that not only did I not love her, I didn’t even like her. I dodged a huge bullet. Several, actually.

    audiate , Mikhail Nilov Report

    Allison Slagle (Randomosity)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've ended it immediately after she told me to get rid of the cats.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah dude was out there ignoring a whole forest of red flags

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    setsuriseikou
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So OP didn't even like her, but not having s*x until they were married still was a dealbreaker?

    Debbie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm also having doubts about the getting sick part - she shoud have thrown up in a bucket or toilet, but if that is out of reach - Having to clean it up while your already sick is kind of mean. Just to clarify, is "being sick" here usually meant as having fever, like the flu? Or is it only nausea? It kind of depends on the level of sickness. If he didn't take care of her and yes, cleaned up her vomit while/when she was sick (fever/flu/very unwell) then he is an AH as well. (Yes, she is too for the cats and baby thing).

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    #24

    Couple cuddling in bed surrounded by pillows, illustrating emotions related to people who called off their wedding. Her best friend crashed the wedding, she spilled something that utterly shattered me, she had s*x with her ex the night before our wedding, I’m glad cause I would have ended up in a paternity court to determine which child is mine and I bet I won’t be the father of them all.

    Jadeport , nd3000 Report

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was really confused here for a long time. The best friend told him his fiance.... I'd thought he'd slept with the best friend but didn't know about it 🤦🏻‍♀️😂😂😂

    Leah Brown
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would her best friend not be invited in the first place and instead have to "crash" the wedding?? That right there would be a HUGE RED FLAG!

    Anony Mouse
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why wasn’t her best friend invited?


    Singh emphasized that planners do everything they can to minimize the damage. “We renegotiate with vendors, try to reuse materials, even push back delivery dates,” he said. “We do our best to cushion the blow.” Most couples are understanding and cooperative. “They usually help us cover unavoidable costs,” he noted. “But not every situation is that smooth.”

    “We’ve had couples or more often, families, who become difficult,” Singh admitted. “They refuse to pay or argue about terms after canceling.” That puts planners in a tough spot, balancing professionalism with damage control. “It adds extra stress to an already sensitive situation.” Still, Singh says they try to handle everything with grace. “Because ultimately, someone’s heart is broken.”

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    #25

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever I called off my wedding about 2 weeks before. He was emotionally and verbally a*****e throughout our relationship but it only got worse the closer we got to the wedding. I knew if we got married I would be divorced within a year. Best decision of my life!

    Mysterious-Bell-733 , RDNE Stock project Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh yeah... if he's that a*****e before the wedding you just know it's going to get a whole lot worse after.

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    #26

    Person sitting on a chair clutching their stomach, illustrating emotional stress related to people who called off their wedding. We fell apart after a miscarriage and he drew farther away from me, to the point I wasn't recognizing the person I was with. We never fought, and then we were fighting about the most minor things almost every day, and he refused to apologize when he hurt me, always hurting me more and more.

    One day I walked 40 minutes in the sun to meet him after work at his house and he picked a fight because I wanted to hear one (seriously, one) Fleetwood Mac song to relax after a very stressful day. He was such a d**k that I chose to go back to my home walking after that (another 40 minutes walking) and he just sent me a message to ask how I was the other day. No apologies, no nothing. All this time we started planning the wedding and while I just wanted to set a date and make it as intimate as possible, he wanted a big shindig with all the bells and whistles, the mere thought of it scared me.

    Then he started saying he wanted to explore his bisexuality (we're both bi, he never "lived" it, I did) and a little later he asked to open the relationship. I didn't want to, but did it, and it unfolded as the classic tale of reluctant open relationships: he got out with so many people the first weeks (men and women) and asked me to give it a try. Even helped me install tinder. I started going out with people, then realized I was having so much fun and being treated so much better by strangers than in my almost five year engagement. And I got SO MANY dates. Meanwhile, he realized he wanted to be only with me after all and started having jealousy fits. I realized I didn't want that for my life anymore. I broke up with him and when I did, he became again the person I longed for all this time and tried to win me over again, but I just didn't love him like that anymore, although I still had a lot of appreciation for him.

    We tried again three times, which of course didn't work, took some needed time apart and now we can call each other friends again and mean it (it's not all black and white--example: he saved me from s*****e after I was drugged and r***d a year later). I'll be a bridesmaid at his wedding this year and he'll be a groomsmen at mine. We both had a say in "approving" our current significant others, cause we know each other upside down and know if someone wouldn't be good for each other. He apologized a lot for his actions in the past and redeemed himself. In summary, we realized we were better as friends than romantic partners, and found people we're way more compatible with (and I'm pleased to say my now partner sings Fleetwood Mac at the top of his lungs with me).

    deceasedin1903 , Sora Shimazaki Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought this was going to end horribly, but it's lovely to see that all the bad ended up with both of them finding healthy relationships.

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm always amused at how the person who wants to "open the relationship - i.e. CHEAT" is the one that ends up being single because they get jealous and the other one realises that other people are nicer.

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    #27

    Couple lying in bed together under gray patterned blanket, symbolizing people who called off their wedding reasons. Few months before the wedding found evidence that he’d been cheating with my (married) ex best friend and bridesmaid. They were both total gaslighting AHs after I found out and made sure to get everyone we knew to think I was crazy. Fun times….

    Horror-Fruit1942 , Yan Krukau Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh completely. Bad enough you're trashy and sleep with a friend's SO, but to then turn around and paint them a villain. Yeah that's ez pass to evil town.

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    #28

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever Not me but a friend. He called it off just about a week before after she called his son, who has autism and is a nice kid, a "r****d". .

    CryptographerMore944 , Tuấn Kiệt Jr. Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bet she said worse to the kid when he wasn't around. People like that should be dropped in a volcano

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    Lene
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Had to zoom in on the kid's hat. I thought he had some weird AI poop on the top of his hat. Lol. Turns out to be brown bunny ears. 🤣

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    “It’s always a tricky situation,” Singh concluded. “We want to support the couple, even if the wedding doesn’t happen.” Weddings are about love, joy, and celebration. But when they don’t go as planned, they leave a trail of emotional and financial weight. Have you ever attended a wedding that got canceled last-minute? Was it emotional, dramatic or a bit of both? Tell us your story.

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    #29

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever I wanted a very small ceremony and he demanded something extravagant. I wanted to be married but I hate weddings. I think they're a waste of money.

    Planet_Ziltoidia , Rony Gonzalez Report

    KatSaidWhat
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not always. But the bigger, the worse. When it becomes about the wedding instead of the marriage, re-evaluate.

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    Sparkle
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had a beautiful small wedding in a small church. No professional photographer but you know what I remember how fun and stress free my mom was. The glitz and glam don't matter you're friends and family celebrating with them matters the rest is just background noise.

    #30

    40 Wedding Cancellations That Turned Out To Be The Smartest Move Ever My ex was mentally and verbally abused by his parents. As time went on, he thought it was okay to treat me the way his dad treated his mom, and control me. I saw him pushing a baby stroller about six months later; he was cheating and had a child with his now wife.

    SharonAlyse , Anton Uniqueton Report

    G A
    Community Member
    6 months ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    This comment has been deleted.

    Kit Black
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was cheating... he was cheating on the girl who broke up with him. And then married the girl he was cheating with because she was already pregnant...

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    #31

    Two men sharing a tender kiss outdoors, symbolizing relationships and the reasons people called off their wedding. 1st one: He came out as Gay.

    2nd one: He used me for a green card.

    LostCastleStars96 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    Julia Mckinney
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Please tell us that the third time was the charm.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm kinda surprised the first time wasn't the charm. I mean if you're heterosexual and he's not that's kind of a deal breaker.

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    #32

    I called off my first engagement about 2 months before the wedding: I was quite young and he was a good bit older and previously married. I gradually came to a realization that I had different views, wanted to continue my education, see the world etc. I was rationalizing to myself that we could probably have a few good years but had zero expectation that we would stay married. After I called it off, my family and friends universally told me I had done the right thing. In retrospect, he was jealous and controlling and it was kind of a terrible relationship. But guess what? I went to graduate school, travelled the world and have been married to my true love for 31 years.

    ToughLingonberry1434 Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The minute you start thinking of it as a starter marriage or that there's an expiration date you have to know that it is not a good idea to go forward.

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    #33

    Pregnant woman standing outdoors near the ocean in autumn, symbolizing people who called off their wedding reasons. My sister called hers off. A girl she didn't know came up to her and told her she was pregnant. Guess who the daddy was?

    Ashilleong , Negative Space Report

    roddy
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if it wasn't true?

    Leah Brown
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm assuming either a test was done or the dude confessed. I for sure would not move forward with planning, let alone go through with a wedding if there was even a remote possibility my fiancé knocked up another woman!

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    #34

    My two college friends had been dating since sophomore year. They planned their wedding for the fall after graduation. He called it off the day before. I love her, but she was very controlling in their relationship. He never really tried to push back. He was also realizing that she may have a drinking problem. He didn’t want to deal with that forever.

    It was a mess. They lived together. They had all mutual friends. Ultimately, it was the right choice. He should have figured it out earlier. They both eventually married other people. She got sober about 10 years later.

    annikahansen7-9 Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Glad he found his shiny spine and stood up before they got married. Just sad it took him so long.

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    #35

    Couple sitting apart looking upset, illustrating people who called off their wedding and their reasons. He had cheated on me earlier in the relationship and I had stayed. He was very controlling of our finances and I fell out of love with him. I realized we barely had anything in common aside from our jobs. We were set to marry and then Covid hit. Our wedding got postponed and I took my chance then to leave. My mom and sister helped me pack up my belongings and I left all my furniture I had bought. I am now married to my best friend and we have a baby on the way.

    megl92 , LightFieldStudios Report

    arthbach
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Furniture is just 'stuff'. It's far, far easier to replace 'stuff' than try to reclaim the years spent with a person who is abusing you. It's not just the years you were in a relationship, but also the years where you spend second guessing yourself. Ditch the stuff, and be free.

    #36

    One friend of mine realized she was more in love with the idea of being married than the actual guy.

    adizz87 Report

    BrownEyedPanda
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In love with the moment, not the man. It happens.

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    #37

    He turned violent.

    cyberllama Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm glad so many people see the violence and take it for the warning sign it is. Glad they got out.

    #38

    Young woman in cozy sweater looking thoughtfully at her phone, reflecting on people who called off their wedding. Found out he had been cheating online for the entire duration of our relationship and called things off 6 months before the big day.

    shadowontheground , Ivan Samkov Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least you caught him before you got legally tied.

    #39

    Called off the wedding a month before the date.

    Came down to a variety of factors but the biggest one is that I just wasn’t happy. Relationships should have an element of compromise but it felt very one sided for me.

    I don’t regret the decision.

    Strider-SnG Report

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You did what felt right. And it was 😊

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    #40

    The wedding was a stressor that ultimately ended in him canceling and breaking up with me 6 months out.

    I was so fixated on everything being perfect and becoming the perfect wife to be for him and it just ended up being what neither of us wanted. Our honeymoon was booked and paid for and we couldn't refund it. We managed to get a minor amount of money back for the wedding things we'd booked but did lose money overall.

    We did not argue or get angry with each other, i was heartbroken and he was beside himself. We took time away from each other.

    Now literally 1 week away from what would have been our wedding day we are giving the relationship another go and going on the honeymoon as a holiday. Our first together in nearly 8 years.
    We'll see what happens.

    Codeinehaze Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope the OP got therapy in the meantime

    weatherwitch
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There really is no such thing as the perfect wife or the perfect husband. I do hope that the OP got counselling so they can understand where this unrealistic ideal is coming from and how to get past it too ❤️

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    #41

    My brother's wedding was called off because it was found out that he was a SEVERE alcoholic who refused help or even the concept of help.

    Her family mailed out apology/cancelation letters 3 days after the invitations.

    RealLiveLawyer Report

    Rali Meyer
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    okay, but how can this be hidden?

    #42

    Close-up of a person removing a wedding ring from their partner’s finger illustrating people who called off their wedding. “I won’t be ready to marry you until after we do therapy”
    One week later:
    "asks me to marry him on a ship in the middle of the ocean surrounded by 30 of his friends and family and family, thousands of others, with a full camera crew."

    I said yes. Later, said “we can only get married after we go through therapy” a few months, a million excuses, and several cycles of emotional manipulation later ✂️💍🙅‍♀️

    Careful-Mind-8317 , Uriel Mont Report

    Debbie
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who said the initial line? OP? And OP also later said that about therapy?

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I swear there ought to be some mandatory counseling to get a marriage license. I think it would save a lot of people from bad decisions.

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    #43

    This isn’t my experience, but my brother was engaged to his ex of six years. She was extremely controlling, emotionally manipulative, and obsessed with having everything her way. At the time, she was graduating college the same summer they were supposed to get married while my brother was already three years into a successful career, making great money. She wanted to move to a small town to be a teacher making 4x’s less than he did and expected him to walk away from everything he had built. When he said no, she became furious and became physically aggressive towards him. He ended the engagement a month before the wedding.
    After calling off the wedding, the ex stole the $10k honeymoon trip to Europe that my brother had paid for. Her aunt, who was the travel agent that booked everything, went back and quietly transferred all the reservations into his ex’s name, even though the credit card used was my brother’s. The ex ended up going on the honeymoon with her equally unhinged mom. And honestly, her mom had already hijacked the wedding planning anyway, she misspelled my brother’s name on the invitations and refused to correct the error. Between the two of them, it was clear they loved his bank account way more than they ever respected him. My brother didn’t even bother fighting them for the trip. He told us, “Money is replaceable, but my sanity isn’t.”

    Three months later, his ex got engaged to a guy she had previously introduced to my brother as her “lab partner.” It’s been four years, and let’s just say, she hasn’t aged well and seems pretty miserable. It was a complete disaster, but honestly, I’m just thankful she never became my sister-in-law.

    East-Manufacturer437 Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh look...trash took itself out.

    tw 72
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    $10K wedding trip is a lot to lose - but waaaaaay less than if they had married.

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    #44

    Found photos of my best friend naked on his phone (I was 19 and stupid and looked through his phone, would never do that ever again) she hadn’t sent them to him, she’d uploaded them onto what she thought was a private tumblr and he somehow found them without her knowing. Gave absolute creep vibes immediately. Worth mentioning he’d broken his phone a week earlier and I bought him the new one, and found he had emailed himself the photos to transfer to the new device. He to this day 8 years later tells anyone that will listen that we broke up cause I cheated on him.

    Topcxt Report

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    #45

    Found recent selfie style photos of him In bed with another girl. This was in the 90s so these were printed photos he hid in a drawer. Too bad I did alllll the laundry and found them barely concealed while putting away his underwear.

    Rainbowsparkletits Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that you were doing all the laundry should've tipped you off.

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    #46

    Woman with dark curly hair sitting with arms wrapped around knees, reflecting on people who called off their wedding reasons. I had some friends who did this. They loved each other but the would-be bride was kind of a mess and her partner put up with too much. She was constantly dealing with an eating disorder and s******l tendencies and was confused about her gender identity, but the real nail in the coffin was that she wanted to be poly and he didn't. 


    He ended up sort of letting her pursue other guys even though he hated the idea. He had been caretaking her for years and didn't think she could survive without him, but I think he snapped when she started seeing someone else and finally realized how lopsided their relationship was and that she was never going to give him what he needed and wanted.


    They had a dog they both loved, she took it because she was unstable and "needed" it more.


    She has since transitioned to living as a man, and I don't know what the ex partner is doing but I hope he's happy. He was an incredibly sweet person.

    potsieharris , Engin Akyurt Report

    quentariel
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Using her mental problems as an excuse to get the dog is the reddest possible red flag.

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah I didn't need the update about how she's doing... I want to know if the dog is ok.

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    #47

    Have you heard of the Taxi Cab Theory ? My (ex) fiancée’s father had passed away unexpectedly and he really lamented the fact that he (fiancée) wasn’t in a more responsible/respectable place at the time of his father’s passing. He had a job in the service industry and very quickly made arrangements to transition into medical sales and also, shortly thereafter, proposed. I think he thought the next logical, adult step in his life was marriage and we just happened to be dating.

    He was about 5 years older than me and I still felt very young to be getting married (24). I suggested a two year engagement to ease that feeling, which also meant we were together three years total at the time of the wedding.

    Weeks before the wedding, I was waking up every day sick to my stomach and just couldn’t fathom having to work so hard to be happy for the rest of my life. It’s nothing against him at all, I loved him and his family—I just don’t think it was the right fit and I think we wanted different things.

    I called off the wedding a little less than 3 weeks before. It was a destination wedding and it gave everyone just enough time before the 2 week cutoff to cancel for a refund, if they chose.

    I definitely think it was the right decision. Very shortly after we broke up, he started dating a girl he worked with and they married and have two kids. This was over 10 years ago and I have gotten to do everything I ever wanted in my life and more. I think we’re both happier for it.

    Callmedutyfree Report

    tw 72
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "The Taxi Cab Theory, often attributed to the TV show "S*x and the City," suggests that men are like taxis: they turn their "available" light on when they are ready to settle down, and then they'll choose the first person who's waiting, regardless of their long-term relationship history."

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    #48

    The woman I was engaged to really changed once the ring hit her finger. I started paying closer attention to things and how she’d act or what she’d say. The longer things went on it became extremely clear all she was interested in was my money and her never having to work again, essentially a gold digger. Sorry, I’m not going to provide for someone that wants to take, take, take and eventually bring nothing to the table after I’ve worked hard to provide for myself.

    Elk-BowHunter1969 Report

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    #49

    Two women holding wine glasses, smiling and talking at a social event about people who called off their wedding. Best friends since middle school. They were all set and about a month out when he went out with us (me +6 of our close friends) and saw her with some woman none of knew at a bar we were just stopping in for a 12 bar 12 beers pub crawl. She pretended she didn't recognize him. Told bar security that he was a stalker. After a bit of arguing we were able to convince them he was her fiance. It went back and forth, security asked everyone to leave. Turns out the woman she was with is her girlfriend and his fiance was gay and hadn't told anyone. She was just with him as cover. He called off the wedding. He was at least nice enough to not out her to her family (very devout muslims, she wast practicing though). She did eventually marry that woman 2 years later.

    My friend found someone else and they're expecting thir first kid in a few months.

    TimeMasterBob , cottonbro studio Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh this is sad all around. Sad that she couldn't be herself and felt she should hide it and sad that she used him to hide it.

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    #50

    A good friend of mine called off her wedding a couple months before the big date because she and her fiancé realized they weren’t in love anymore.

    She ended up having a big party on the original date instead and even danced in her wedding dress as part of it to celebrate her commitment to *herself*.

    aloe_veracity Report

    DennyS (denzoren)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This seems mutual and nice that they both realized it early on.

    #51

    His mom started taking over the wedding planning. When we tried to put our foot down, she would literally take him out to ice cream and tell him why he needed to do x,y, and z. She said that my family’s only purpose in life was to cause problems for her (my sister pushed me to make sure the wedding was what I wanted). She said the wedding was not “our wedding, but it was the family’s wedding.” After we broke up, she spent time calling my family members to tell them I’m a rotten person and calling me to tell me that I was unloveable. She blocked not just me, but my entire family on Facebook (including people she wasn’t friends with nor had she ever met in real life). 18 months later he was engaged again. I sometimes think about that poor woman and hope that narcissist learned her lesson.

    TipsyLover17 Report

    AtMostAFabulist
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Narcissists never learn a lesson.

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    #52

    I called off my wedding two months out. We loved the idea of marriage more than each other. Counseling exposed big differences — kids, careers — that we hadn’t faced. It felt wrong, so I ended it. Heartbreaking, but I’m relieved now.

    Dexsport_Fam Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why premarital counseling should be mandatory. A lot of people don't realize this stuff until it's too late.

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    #53

    His mother. I couldn't see spending the rest of my life with her in it.

    Also his jealousy. Every time I talked about anyone- a coworker, a friend etc he'd ask me how long I'd been sleeping with them. I never cheated, but he did- a LOT.

    Anxious-Mood665 Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One thing I've learned from reddit... if they accuse you of cheating, they are cheating.

    #54

    A friend of mine had her fiancé suddenly call it off *days* before the wedding. His excuse was that he "wasn't ready". He'd cleared all his things out within a week, and went off to basic training not long after.

    She was *devastated*. I remember getting the call with her in hysterics and having to take some of the wedding decor out so she wouldn't have to look at it.

    She's long since gotten married, with three kids, and seems pretty blissfully happy for it. I thought they got together a bit too fast after what happened, but her husband is genuinely still over the moon about her a good 13 years since the wedding.

    beachpellini Report

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    #55

    Simply put, I loved him but was not IN love with him. My family adored him, his family adored mine. We went to school together and we had the same tight friend group.

    We were the only two from our group to attend the same college. He was very bright and helped tutor me where I fell short. I thought we were casually dating… until he proposed in front of all our family, friends, several High school teachers and an entire restaurant.

    After that our moms really pushed the planning. Before I knew it I had a dress, a venue and was sitting down for our tasting. That’s where I lost it. I just couldn’t see myself or him being happy a decade down the road.

    I called it off the next day, lost most of my friends and my mom stopped speaking to me for few months. A year, to the weekend, he got married to our marriage counselors niece. So I feel he recovered quickly.

    When it’s not ment to be, it sucks, but it will all work out for the best.

    tacokahlessi Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ouch... sucks that others were so invested in the fantasy they didn't care about her reality.

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    #56

    I fought with her... On a ballpark average... 45m-3 hrs at least once a week, sometimes up to 3x a week, for 7 years... None of my friends liked her much and I thought I had a normal relationship... I remember when I proposed to her, we fought every night that week for like 3 hours. Despite having the perfect cliff side plan and proposal, she blew a gasket on me about 'causing bad omens' because I remarked on the dark clouds moving in from the shore... I took the ring back and did a second proposal later in the week of equal thought... She had a way of pushing every button I had. If I wanted to talk it out, she wanted to discuss it tomorrow. If I wanted to discuss it tomorrow, she had to talk it out all night.

    I had been a long time smoker, on/off, actively quitting, you know... Anyhow, I had been smoking when she wasn't around and finally stopped caring about being caught. I came out one morning on my porch after fighting with her the night before. She walked out and said, "you're smoking again?" with a condescending tone, like the kind of "eat s**t, I'm so much better than you" tone you get off someone who's about to run down a list of how much they love you but how inconsiderate you are. My next response was, "I'm done. We're done." Followed by her stammering through disbelief and then trying to tell me that I'm destroying her daughter's (not mine) future and current home (my home). Best $35k loss ever.

    My life was immediately better without her and I'm married to a woman who in 5 years I have had 5 arguments with. Most of those arguments came from me working with her to undo the defensive/offensive mechanisms I built up to prevent being hurt. I also quit smoking (actually). Amazing what you can do when you aren't stressed to the limit.

    We talked on/off over the years. Mostly when she was down/out/depressed and alone from one failed relationship or another. Most recently, she ended up arrested for domestic a*****t. He hired a lawyer in secret and PI to follow her around for a divorce case he'd been building up. So, yeah, apparently I wasn't the only dude who felt trapped by crazy and wanted out.

    LordofCope Report

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    #57

    Because she cheated. So I immediately broke it off and walked away. No coming back from that.

    Birdo-the-Besto Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen people come back from that and stay married, but I can never figure out how. After someone 100% proves you cannot trust them, I don't see how you could ever have a decent relationship.

    Blue Bunny of Happiness
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. I’m impressed that people can, but I couldn’t. My fiancé ended our engagement and a few weeks later (we were still living together, but in separate rooms until we got finances separated) told me he’d made the biggest mistake of his life and that he’d buy me a new engagement ring and wanted us to be together. Heck no. The trust was well and truly gone from that relationship. There was zero indication that he was cheating, I just couldn’t trust that he’d not change his mind again. Turned out okay in the end. He paid the very large deposit for our joint mortgage as he sold his original house, but felt guilty ending the engagement so gave me half the equity when we spilt up. Only reason I ever managed to get on the property ladder before prices shot up.

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    #58

    Realized we wanted totally different lives.

    SyrTiny Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Again premarital counseling would have prevented this.

    #59

    My ex fiancee actually broke up with me 5 months to our wedding day. Likely super unhappy and she gave me an ultimatum to propose to her which was likely the nail in the coffin anyway. She actually did me a service by doing that. I lived the next 7-8 years single while she had 4 kids with her new husband. We both got what we wanted.

    rawchallengecone Report

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    #60

    My fiancé kept trying to plan, but rejected me and freaked out any time I tried to contribute. We started having weird prolonged “talks” about our relationship, he was basically trying to get me to break up with him so he wasn’t the bad guy. Eventually I gave him the ring back, and 2 months later he posted a YouTube video coming out.

    bedroomblogger Report

    Lila Allen
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We really need to stop deciding someone is a " bad guy" for choosing to end a relationship. You're only the bad guy if you're intentionally hurtful. If you decide it's not for you, even if the other person doesn't want out that shouldn't make you the "bad guy"

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    #61

    He came after me and tried to choke me. Just before he was saying I didn’t respect him and he was upset I had gotten a wedding card and not him. It was the culmination of bizarre behaviors that increased closer to the wedding. I legitimately think he had a tbi and I just didn’t see the effects until it was THERE. I cancelled the wedding 1.5 weeks before the date.

    I was lucky to get to my parents. His mother took our wedding gifts. I was pretty shocked about that and still am 15 years later. He sold everything in the apartment, then disappeared into Montana afterward and last I heard he was living unhoused in Hawaii.

    TheEquineLibrarian Report

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    #62

    All of a sudden he wanted to move out of state, to a very specific place that he had ties to with an organization he volunteered with. 3 months before our wedding date he still didn’t have his tux and when I asked him if he was going to get it he looked me dead in eyes and said “I’m not even excited for a wedding”. I will never forget how I felt in that moment. I was crushed. To this day I don’t know why he wanted to leave so bad. He wouldn’t even wait for me to figure out a place we could both be happy going to. He asked me to go with him but it didn’t feel genuine. This was almost exactly one year ago and I am still heartbroken and haven’t been able to fully move on.

    lcerimel Report

    #63

    He barely showed a interest in having kids and mentioned not wanting any. That was it for me. I always wanted kids. Now I'm married with 3 of my own.

    Morel3etterness Report

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    #64

    He slept with my friend and her husband while I was out of town.

    decentlyample Report

    AtMostAFabulist
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At the same time? 😳

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    #65

    Got engaged, tried to plan the wedding but he kept dodging and dodging. Finally it turns out he signed a contract behind my back to be an embassy guard, which enabled him from getting married (marine). He didn't want to break up with me and be the bad guy (his words).

    So I gladly became the bad guy. He was also just so emotionally draining and horrible. Glad I called it off.

    FrancisOfTheFilth_ Report

    #66

    I was being pushed into it by her Italian family. Luckily I pulled out at the last moment but it was close. All the arrangements were made. Best decision I ever made.

    TomLondra Report

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    #67

    Well after nearly two years of zero contribution (financially, mentally, and physically) I was pretty much f*****g over it. Really highlighted how much it was to pacify me and how little emotional support and connection there was in our relationship.

    ruthless_taurean Report

    #68

    I discovered she had been cheating on me months before our engagement. The outcome? Anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem that have stuck with me since 2019, f**k her!

    psychoticpinneaple Report

    Strings
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or don't. She probably has a disease or three

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    #69

    Not proud of this, but someone I always had very strong feelings for reentered my life at a time where i was really vulnerable. Limerence took over, my engagement blew up. And no, it didn't work out with him either.

    janually Report

    Papa
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought "Limerence" was a typo, but it turns out it's a real word.

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    TIL: Limerence is a Psychology term referring a state of involuntary obsession with another person. The experience of limerence is different from love or lust in that it is based on the uncertainty that the person you desire, called the “limerent object” in the literature, also desires you. Since limerence is the desire to be desired, it is a cognitive, as well as physical, and emotional experience. As the focus of limerence is whether or not the object of desire reciprocates the feelings, rather than actually falling in love with the person, it is almost always one-sided.

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    #70

    We were both in the Navy, stationed on a ship in Japan. We'd been together almost three years when I got stationed back stateside and she was going to get out about three months later, come up to Virginia and live with me while I was finishing a school, then we were going to get married, deposits were all paid and everything. I realized in those three months away from her that she had been emotionally a*****e. I ended up cheating on her with another woman in my class and broke up with her and called off the wedding when she came up to visit me after she got out, she made me tell everyone because she still wanted to get married. After I got stationed in Washington, she would call me randomly when she was drunk or high and tell me how much I f****d her up. Then, I started therapy and recalled a memory I had blacked out of her SA-ing me and when I confronted her she couldn't even tell me why she did it. She eventually called me out of the blue with something she "needed to get off my chest" and admitted that she had cheated on me with two other women less than 30 days after I left Japan. We don't talk anymore.

    BeckyJ018 Report

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    #71

    I met her maid of honour at the rehearsal and we were both hit with the lightning bolt.

    specialdelivery88 Report

    LakotaWolf (she/her)
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know there's such a thing as willpower, right? "Destined lovers" isn't a real thing, nor is those weird werewolf-novel "fated mates" thing. If you are in a committed relationship, you might FEEL attraction to another person - be it physical, emotional, social, or a mix - and THAT is okay - but IMO, it's pretty crappy to allow those feelings to develop any further.

    Bartlet for world domination
    Community Member
    6 months ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd prefer to marry a man who just fell for your maid of honor?

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    Earonn -
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes, I got hit with that, too. Friend of a friend. Just saw him across the room. didn't end the relationship I was in but rather tried to understand why my subconscious would do that. Came to know that guy, though - again, through our mutual friend - and he's a wonderful person, but so was my then-partner. "Infatuation at first sight" isn't "love".

    Vinny DaPooh
    Community Member
    6 months ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My fiance left the big city on a business trip to help rebrand a small bed and breakfast in th country. While there she met the part time lumberjack that was trying to save his family's failing cookie business. She fell in love with him and left me. Oh wait. That's Hallmark Movies