30 Of The Best ‘It Doesn’t Work Like That’ Tales Shared By Representatives Of Different Professions
It’s no secret that fiction spreads faster than truth. Myths are no exception. Blame the communal imagination, internet folklore, word of mouth and so on, but in reality, we are all susceptible to false claims and and wrong assumptions.
Jobs we do are no exception. Just think of the way we imagine a spy (thanks, James Bond!) or a crime detective (thanks, X-files!) and you see how easy it is to succumb to cliches.
So in order to debunk those stubborn myths surrounding common professions and see how they really work, we looked at various Reddit threads where people share the myths behind things they do for a living. The results are in below, so scroll down!
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IT - that we just Google everything. It's not true. Sometimes we remember the solution from the last time we googled it.
Contrary to popular belief, not every magician has a beautiful assistant. In fact, the only time I make women disappear is when I tell them I'm a magician.
No longer my profession - BUT I was a stripper for 5 years.
We, in my experience, tend to have MOTHER issues, not father.
I'm dead serious. I've been to a lot of ex-stripper weddings. Their dads are *always* there.
The mothers not invited.
Strippers both terrify and amaze me HOW DO YOU HOLD YOURSELF UP ON A SKINNY POLE
Although a myth exists for probably every profession, it’s no secret that the jobs that attract the most myths are the ones that are the most unusual, intriguing and mysterious, like detectives and forensic experts.Other professions that feed our shared imagination are the more unique ones. Think of fragrance creators, ghostwriters, taxidermists and so on and so on.
Sheila Lowe has one of these incredibly fascinating professions people don’t normally know much about. Lowe is a professional handwriting examiner with more than four decades of experience. She has been qualified to testify in cases of handwriting authentication since 1985, and has also qualified in cases of personality assessment. Lowe is also a multi-published and award-winning book author with the “Forensic Handwriting Mystery” fiction series, among others.
So Bored Panda spoke with Lowe to find out more about what it takes to be a handwriting examiner, and the myths surrounding this unique profession.
People always think welders are all stupid alcoholics. In my experience most of the welders I've worked with, and including myself, are pretty intelligent alcoholics.
I've worked with addiction services and I've never met a stupid addict. I've met plenty who didn't have the greatest education due to unsettled home lives, but none that were stupid. Lots of addicts become addicts precisely because their brains never leave them alone.
That scientists know everything about every science subject. Typically, we are very specialized. I don't know shit about biology, for instance. Nonetheless, people think I know about anything sciency even though I only studied a very particular slice of something.
Another myth is that we are scientists all the time. When I play golf, I'm not calculating the trajectory of the ball. I'm just hitting the fucking ball. Usually off into the trees.
THIS. I hate this c**p of "damn scientists flying to mars instead of curing cancer" idiots. Astrophysicists are NOT trained as oncologists. That's as thick as saying "damn auto mechanics can't fix my laptop". Grow the f**k up.
If you are getting this genuine argument, I'm sorry you are dealing with idiots, however, the version i usually hear slightly better articulated is "why are we giving grant money to scientists to do X instead of to the ones who need to do Y". Not lumping all scientists together, but lumping the grant money.
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I blame this on TV/movies where "the scientist" is an expert in every possible scientific field . The same problem exists with doctors in TV/movie. Like "the doctor" can do everything from diagnose, and find a cure for, an previously unknown disease to a heart transplant.
If I played golf, I probably would calculate the trajectory of the ball. I once read a book, and in the introduction, the author explains these some people tell her that being a scientist makes you not appreciate nature because you look at a flower and don't just see a flower. She goes on to suggest that scientists enjoy nature more than others because we see more. We think of the way the trees evolved to make that flower, of the bees that pollinate it, of the way the light reflects off of it in wavelengths that make those colors. The way she put it was easy better than I am, but the point is made. I get a lot out of my training!
I am all this. And more. And know a precious few who either are this too, and/or think it's cool <3 Thank you
Load More Replies... I have observed this among the professors that teach veterinary medicine. One that is specialized in pathology (for example) will often have much less knowledge about nutrition, surgery or animal behavior than the ones focused on those fields. They all share the same basic knowledge of veterinary medicine, but beyond that - everyone is an expert only in their field.
Same situation when you told your friends you are a software engineer. They assume you can hack NSA and can build a graphic card from scratch.
Exactly! That's why we SHOULD scoff when the media rolls out these long list of scientists who all agree on "the science" if you've ever looked at who was ON that list, 3/4 of them aren't even in a similar field. Another example... Them trotting out Bill Nye for everything from climate change to covid, to human biology. He's a MECHANICAL ENGINEER! From Wikipedia - Bill Nye the Science Guy, is an American mechanical engineer, science communicator, and television presenter. What the heck kind of made up c**p is a "science communicator". My university advisor never mentioned that as a career option.
I agree, mostly. Science communicator is a job, though. Lots of things are jobs that don't have ccorresponsing degrees/direct careers from university. Usually science communication is a person who tries to bridge the gap between science, and people who know nothing about a scientific subject. It's a person who needs to study a topic, or many topics, and translate it. Think of it like the, "up-goer 5" from xkcd. Still, Bill Nye has become rather trash at modern science topics, particularly without a team of people to produce, and dictate a script.
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I'm looking at you big pharma: I get R & D is expensive but how about using 1/2 of your net profits to fund it seeing as how you'll be making billions with that patent. And the rest into your patient assistance programs for senior citizens who cannot afford their copays?
I'm a PHD scientist and so many people assumed I liked opera and poetry. Opera? Poetry? They watched too much TV.
But you definitely play chess 12 hours a day, right? And can solve a Rubik's cube in 0.79001 seconds, of course...
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yep. "You're an artist, you can design my bake sale flyer and my website for me right"
Load More Replies... Everybody should know at least a little biology. Otherwise you might very well end up with a child that you do not want, or have the means/skills to take care of.
I know! It bugs the ever loving c**p outta me that a very large number of females don't know how many "holes" they have, pardon the terminology. They think they pee and have sex out of the same hole!!! Like, are you serious right now? You can't feel the difference?! Those are 2 very different areas, that have different nerve endings! It drives me nuts they're out there having sex, yet know absolutely NOTHING about their anatomy! Sorry, I went off lol.
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Movies love to play up this myth. Who really goes to a party, sees some guy about to Tarzan swing off the 2nd floor lofted hallway and just calculates the trajectory to predict how it goes wrong? Looking at you The Ice Princess.
I was a biology major and I'd receive so many medical questions from friends and acquaintances. Like dude, I'm interested in plants so I have no clue why you have a funny rash; try Google or a real freaking doctor since I'm not a medical student.
This. As a phd in material science, I don't know s**t about 99% of material science. Much less other fields.
yep people don't understand how specific it is. Even in our own fields we are very humble about how little we know.
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Having a background in science makes you better at understanding science in general.
Also not to diss any doctorates directly but just because they have a doctorate doesn't mean they're actually smart. Just smart at one thing. All idiots are geniuses at 1 thing.
For real! Just like that person was saying about recovering addicts lol.
Load More Replies... Can't believe the BP censors left the penultimate sentence intact!
this is actually really accurate... lol. im an environmental scientist (in training) but i get asked about all sorts of science things, especially medical problems constantly from people i know @_@
Perhaps more time on the trajectory calculation would be of benefit.
I cracked up so hard at the last comment bot agree with it and the post
I thinl Bill Nye snf Neil Tyson are partly to blame for this. THe way they talk as professional opinions on subjects that aernt even their majors without ever prefacing it as such.
This is true of many experts. History professors don't know about every period in history of every part of the world. They usually know a lot about a few hundred years and a very detailed amount of information about one person.
Scientists appealing to their Physics PhD when arguing about medicine. Ugh.
I had a guy in training who tried to shut me, the trainer, up with the claim he was the specialist and I was the unskilled worker so I shouldn't tell him what to do. I told him after laughing right in his face: I'm doing this for the last 8 years, you have never done this before and your degree has nothing to do with this line of work. You are the unskilled worker here so shut up or I mark you as failed and there's nothing you can do about it. He tried to complain, got told he'd be fired if he didn't complete the training, and it set gim straight. But he didn't last long. We had a talk together before he quit and he was very humbled. He had totally underestimated the job. It was a callcenter and he said never in his life did he experience so much stress and pressure and had to memorize so much information in such a short time span. He was much more decent and amicable at the end. It's a fact of life, if you haven't done it before, whatever it is, you're unskilled. That's it.
Scientists don't even know everything about their own special field. If they did they wouldn't have any more work to do.
Not quite the same but my g.p. once told me something very similar - the family gp knows a little about a lot but no doctor knows everything about all illnesses, that's why there are specialists.
The same goes for being in the intelligence field. We collect data, analyze it, & come up with theories just like scientists. But walk up to someone who works collecting intel on Iran & ask them what is going on in Brazil & they will just stare at you & blink mindlessly.
Where do you live that you are just tripping over scientists all day long?
I was always accused of negative comments, no one wanted to discuss the alcoholic in the room.
U can make yur point more succinctly w/out the profanity. Profanity makes u less believabl as a scientist. Thank u.
I work retail. We are human beings with feelings and emotions. We just want to help you out.
If you're an a*****e to us, we won't help you.
“In my case, my handwriting career has taken me in two different directions. The first twenty years I focused on personality assessment through handwriting,” Lowe told us. “After that, I branched into handwriting authentication—working within the court system to identify forgeries. These days, that’s mostly what I do,” she added.
What Lowe likes the most about her profession is her ability to help people. “Whether it’s understanding them better or helping them with their legal battles—though I am not an advocate for the client, but for the truth.”
Farmer here.
I do not delight in killing the livestock, nor are any of them mistreated. We do not all support factory farms.
From bomb squad, I'd say the "Do I cut the red wire or the blue wire!" cliche is tiring.
Terrorists don't follow standardized wire coloring codes.
Do I cut the red wire, with the blue stripes? Or the blue wire with the red stripes? 🤔
That I, a simple cashier, am responsible for the pricing in the store.
When it comes to myths surrounding Lowe’s profession, she argues that some people believe that handwriting tells everything about a person, which is certainly not true. “People are too complex for that,” she adds.
“At the other extreme, there are those who think handwriting doesn’t reveal anything about them. Also not true. I could write a lot about that.”
Moreover, According to Lowe, most people don’t know anything at all about handwriting analysis and are surprised when they learn just how much it reveals about them.
Unemployment is not as relaxing as people may believe.
I like to say that for many, the two worst feelings in the world are having a job, and not having a job.
> 'Therapists will make me talk about s**t I don't want to.'
We really don't. If we are working on your anxiety I'm not going to ask you about your first sexual experience unless YOU think it's relevant.
> 'Therapists get in to your head and make you do s**t you don't want to'
That's Jedi. Not us. If I could do that I wouldn't be a therapist.
It's also not just paying someone to vent to them, there are actual therapeutic techniques involved. Which is why venting to your girlfriend is NOT the same as therapy.
That doctors are super humans who don't need to eat, sleep or have a life.
We are all human and almost all of us would put your lives before ours at the drop of a hat so please don't abuse it.
I think everyone has a reason as to why they are frustrated with doctors. I myself am very frustrated with doctors.
Having said that, Lowe pointed out that with so few students being taught how to write in cursive these days, there is a tremendous loss. “Brain research shows how important handwriting is to training of young brains, and how it helps develop many areas, including reading, spelling, and retention.
“Historically, illiterate people have been kept at the bottom of society. Plus, many kids today cannot read historical documents, nor even letters from grandma. We must maintain this vital skill,” the handwriting examiner concluded.
Criminal defense attorney. People think our job is to find "technicalities" that allow alleged criminals to go free. Those "technicalities" are most often fundamental constitutional protections, not something like a typo in the charging documents. Our job is to make sure the government is playing fair.
No, not everyone should learn to code. It is not the new literacy. Literacy itself is a worthy enough goal, and we are losing on that front.
Also, programming is hard, and not necessarily that fun when you have to do it for work.
Everyone should learn how computers work, and everyone should be able to understand what code is, but people who imagine some kind of utopia where 80% of the population are happily employed as computer programmers...you are all smoking crack.
I am well-versed in computers, a database administrator and can fix a lot of problems... but I've never studied anything IT-related, and I know exactly nothing about coding. Computer-related skills can be very diverse and people should never assume a person can do everything simultaneously.
Dog trainer
No Cesar Millan did not fix all those dogs issues in 30 minutes. He spent all day with the dog and family working with it getting the dog to a point where HE could prevent some of the behavior issues from occurring while in HIS control. Which is great and although the methods he used in the Dog Whisperer series tend to be pretty controversial he accomplishes a lot with the dogs he worked with. But watch the video testimonials at the end, the families always say, "we're still working with behavior X things are getting better..."
Also quick rant about people who watch Dog Whisperer and try to replicate his "Alpha" methods. Be really careful, you can do more harm than good. If you see a dog on his show being aggressive and he alpha rolls it and dominates it and your dog does the same thing and you try to replicate it, first be prepared to get bit. Second if the dog is displaying aggression because of fear or lack of socialization and you do this you'll make it worse almost without exception. Also there are other and arguably better methods of dealing with genuinely aggressive dogs.
Also most of what you learned about pack theory is wrong. It was taken from watching captive wolves from differing packs the behaviors you've been taught are "pack" behaviors are actually stress behavior occurring because of captivity and because of the mingling of different family units. So the social interactions that we've learned about don't actually occur with packs in the wild.
Being an accountant does not require good math.
Whenever I tell people I'm an accountant, I frequently hear, "oh, you must be good at math."
Math in accounting is adding and subtracting. The difficulty lies in the rules and regulations of accounting.
That wait staff/bartenders are uneducated/stupid.
I've worked in hospitality for seven years and worked with so many highly educated people. Nurses, refrigeration mechanics, robotic engineers, marketing graduates, aged care workers, marine biologists. I have a degree in ecology.
I can almost guarantee that your waiter has studied something after high school, whether it was a certificate, trade or university degree. But waitressing pays the bills while you're searching for something better.
I am a cable man. No sex is given to me by ladies who need the cable fixed.
Men in the nursing profession aren't necessarily gay. (Not that there's anything wrong with that) Many of us were Paramedics and military medics/corpsmen before going into nursing.
Librarian. I don't sit at a desk and read all day, I don't shush you, I don't get an advanced degree to learn how to shelve books in order, and I'm not a woman.
"Librarian" is a bit like "engineer" in that it's a term that covers a lot of sub-fields and jobs. A public librarian will do things like developing the collection (buying books for the community and removing books from the collection that aren't circulating), developing and running programs like classes and special events, and doing outreach and administrative things like budgeting. A digital librarian will work with special collections - digital or not - to organize and display them and don't interact with the public at all (one I've worked with recently: https://d.lib.msu.edu/). An academic librarian is assisting with research, conducting research of their own, assisting students in learning how to use the library, and assisting professors in developing coursework.
I work in the laboratory, background in medical lab science.
People in other departments of the hospital seem to think that the lab is full of antisocial introverts who don't care about patients at all, and that we think of our work like an assembly line.
The introvert part is usually true, but that doesn't mean we don't care. We f*****g care, a lot. In my experience the lab is usually full of empaths who want to help people, but can't afford to get emotionally invested.
I think I chose the right career path... I'm going to school for biology to hopefully work in a medical research lab. I'm an empathic introvert who can't get emotionally invested 😂
We don't abuse inmates or arrange to the death fights. The f****d up system deals with them far more cruelly than we ever could. No need to take it further.
You don't "go to sleep" under general anesthesia, and the chances of you "waking up" in the middle of surgery are practically nil.
I get that your worst fear is watching people operating on you and you can't do anything about it, but the instances of that are so low, you have a bigger chance of dying in a car accident on the way to your surgery than that actually happening to you.
I have worked at a hotel for 8 years now in positions of power at the front desk, reservations and group sales.
First, we do not hold rooms out of inventory! When we say we are sold out, we are sold out. We are here to make sure you have an enjoyable stay, but we are a business, why wouldn't we want to sell all possible rooms? First come first served is a real thing.
Also, being rude when there is the smallest thing wrong with your stay will not get you a free night. Comping a whole stay is very rare, compensation by discounting your room rate, parking or food is much more common. If you approach me with respect I am more likely to compensate a greater monetary amount than if you're a d**k.
Graphic Designer.
No, my job is *not* colouring in.
No, it does *not* mean that I know how to draw or paint perfectly well.
And no, just because you watched some Photoshop tutorials on Youtube, does *not* mean you can suddenly do my job for me.
EDIT: Spacing. (Yes, bad spacing *does* make us cringe)
EVERY job interview I had after design school: "why shouldn't I just learn Photoshop myself? It seems really easy to just color in some things." Sure Brenda, you can do that. OR you can hire someone who spent 2 years learning all the tools to make the thing you WANT. Your plan sounds great but eventually you will send a hurried email to a contract graphic designer, pleading with them to "make it better" for $200 an hour because you have NO CLUE what bleed is.
I'm an accountant. No, I don't actually enjoy talking about tax law on my day off, so your "quick tax question" that takes me 30 minutes to explain beyond 'that depends...' is really annoying at a family BBQ.
When I worked for the IRS people wanted me to justify various government spending projects. Do I look sleazy enough to be a congressman?
Storyboard artist in the animation industry. Making cartoons isn't playtime. My position in particular is demanding, physically exhausting, and under-appreciated. On top of that, it is more "cog in the machine" work than "creative fulfillment." My faith in my work is tested constantly.
And I am not the only one who feels like this. Virtually every artist I know always thinks about changing careers or retiring all-together. It's a hard job, and it really doesn't have to be, but... it is.
I appreciate this job so much, especially the old disney hand-drawns. I mean, to re-draw 24 pictures just to get 1 second of footage is INCREDIBLE, especially since they need to not flicker and wobble (ed edd and eddy excepted, that cartoonist sucked).
That working in the film industry and especially doing what i do which is directly on set is glamourous.
Let me tell you its the opposite of glamour.
14 hour days , 6 days a week, sh**ty weather, sh**ty actors, sh**ty director, sh**ty crew ( of which I am part of), sh**tymembers of public trying to get photos and asking dumb questions, sh**ty mud, sh**ty creative types making delusional demands etc.
But there are some fun things
good food, good pay and filming sex scenes is hilarious.
QA tester here. We find glitches/ bugs all the time. But it is impossible to find every one. But some that get through baffle me.
you have to lower your IQ to average end-user level., that's how you find all bugs.
1. Engineers do not design every cool thing in the world.
2. Most engineers never actually make all that much money.
3. Chances are, if you study engineering you will end up with an insanely boring office job, or an insane high pressure job working 16+ hours a day.
4. Not all engineers are super intelligent, quite a lot are actually below average intelligence.
Having been an electronics repair technician for 45 years, we daily joked that the engineer who poorly designed what we are working on probably never held a screw driver in his life or gave a single thought as to making the product serviceable.
That firefighters only respond to fire-related calls. I'd say 80% or more of our calls are for EMS. People are always like "why are there firefighters going to a shooting??"
Inmate Services here (Non-Sworn). No I do not enjoy denying your visitation privilege, canceling visits, having you arrested because you came in to visit while having an ACTIVE WARRANT YOURSELF, or rolling up PSPers.
Also spitting on me, hitting me, or otherwise threatening me only makes your life harder and I'd prefer it if you'd tone it down a notch.
I'm a programmer, not a magical computer svengali who loves working for free on your home computer problems.
A problem with hardware will not be solved even with brilliant programming.
Bagger at a grocery store. Not all of are here because we didn't go to college. I have coworkers doing it as a second job and one of them works for a legal firm.
Tell me you are American without saying you are American "I am a bagger at a grocery shop as second job..."
Lasers do not sound like they do on TV. They sound like a bunch of big computer case fans, with a slight whine of a turbine screaming along in the background.
You can't see the beam, at least not with a CO2 laser. (most common industrial laser) It's invisible. You can sure as hell see where it hits. It will turn metal incandescent in seconds. Once, I witnessed a forklift driver who hit the resonator (The "box" that "makes the laser") and knock it loose of the output coupler/bend mirrors (What directs the laser to the workpiece) which burned the dust out of the air in a 1" diameter beam, and melted a hole in the side of a box truck before we turned off the beam.
A laser isn't a perfectly straight beam of destruction. They have to be focused to be useful. A 4,000 watt laser focused down to .012" will melt steel, at which point oxygen is blown at it, causing the metal to burn out. A laser that you could hold in your hand that could damage material like a firearm is really past the realm of sci-fi and into fantasy. It's not a projectile, think of it more like a microwave that can be pointed at something. It will make stuff hot.
As a helicopter pilot
No, a helicopter that as an engine failure doesn't just fall like a rock. It possible to land safely (probably even more safely than in an airplane) without even breaking the aircraft. We do a training every year with all the emergencies that can happen in flight or on the ground, including surprise engine failure that we have to land.
And god, NO, I won't fly to Hawaii for free. S**t's is expensive to fly and doesn't have a huge range. So please stop trying to be funny about that.
My dad always used to say, "Airplanes fly, helicopters beat the air into submission."
A lot of people view teaching as an 8 hour job with paid summer vacations, and it's really not. Lesson planning, grading, IEPs, being involved with or heading after-school programs and/or sports, and other miscellaneous types of b******t add up. It's common to oversimplify a lot of the tasks teachers do. For example, grading isn't just circling wrong answers and writing a score, it's things like reading and evaluating 10 page research papers for 3 classes of 20+ kids each--that's a minimum of 600 pages to go through. Summers off aren't really "paid", you might get paychecks during the summer but it's a salary for 9 months of work stretched out across 12 months, and most young teachers will have some kind of summer job in addition to planning for the next school year.
My wife taught for a few years. Got high blood pressure from the stress. But not from the kids, from the school administrators and principles who were insensitive to teachers problems.
Tower Climber. We're not all adrenaline junkies, a lot of the guys I work with are just middle aged men with families. Also if you can work 85ft off the ground you can work 800ft. Same result if you fall
Data Analyst - I am not IT & it is not my job to troubleshoot your computer problems.
Learn to turn it on and off again yourselves people.
Most people that work in the space industry don't actually work for NASA.
Professor here. We know that the textbook expensive, but there isn't much we can do about it. We don't receive any kickback from the publisher for assigning it. Even the author of the book generally is not making much of anything on it, and the publisher still loses money on a lot of books that they print. We assign the latest edition, rather than an older and cheaper one, because the campus bookstore can't guarantee that they will be able get the older edition in stock. The free resources available online or through the library generally are not as good for intro level students as the textbook is, which is why we don't assign those instead. We are not going to water down the quality of a class that you paid $4000 for just so that you can save $120 on the textbook. We know that you pirate the book, and are totally fine with that. It is a broken system that needs changing, but we are just a cog in that system and don't have much control over it.
Textbook publishers are Not losing money at 120 a book. When my father wrote a book on archaeology, he first went to a publisher that did college text books. They were going to charge that 120 per book to sell it. He said no way, he knew that his book was likely going to end up on required reading lists for college students. He went to a different publisher. They charge about 30 bucks a book, and my dad gets the same amount in royalties from them that he would have from the publisher he turned down. Text books are a scam.
Veterinarians are not rolling in money. I can understand why people might think that because vet fees can be expensive, but the snide comments about 'rich vets' get very tiring
And it's not playing with puppies and kittens all day. LOTS of poo and vomit. LOTS.
IT.
No I am not a hacker by default, yes there are girls here (like me), no we do not know everything computer or internet related.
That organic means the animal lived a happier life. In the long run I have seen that when you go to process the animals the organic bird are tipically a lot smaller and spent a large portion of their lives sick. A simple antibitit would have allowed the animal a healthier life. Note that all antibiotic residue must be out of the animals system to be allowed to process it for consumption.
According to the ASPCA, the best labels to look for (for the most humanely treated animals) are Animal Welfare Approved, Certified Humane, and Global Animal Partnership. (This is for the US.)
Architect. We don't have models or blueprints or T squares in our homes (or even in the offices). We don't create fun/wild buildings or have rich, eccentric clients. An architect doesn't start to see real money until they own/principal a firm (aka old) or if they're a top designer in a big name office (extremely rare). We don't live in amazing homes (can't afford it, don't have the resources). Freehand sketching skill means basically nothing. And we don't (all) wear turtlenecks!!
When I first entered the pharmaceutical production industry, I thought that everything was super uptight and regulated due to the FDA....I was pretty wrong.
Sure FDA audits can catch bad things (just search any company + 483 to find out) but there are SO many things that are missed. Companies have procedures on what not to tell auditors and people presenting to auditors are often coached right beforehand.
Some companies are willing to accept some FDA observations (willing quality risks) in order to get product out.
The best (worst?) story I have from the industry is when somebody found a literal f*****g MILK DUD in in a vial of an INJECTABLE product.
Side note: Google "company name + 483" at your own risk. Some of that s**t will freak you out.
Yes I'm in the Air Force.
No I don't fly a plane.
No I don't get a plane issued to me after basic training.
Don' t tell me that you won' t receive a spaceship when you are in the Space Force?
Waiter- I don't give enough of a s**t to mess with your food.
If you really p**s me off, I'll just do a shot and a bump and your food will come out a little later than it would have.
If you're a total prick, my manager will take the table and might kick you out.
Paramedics do not transport dead people.
Well you do if the pacient dies during transport ( which unfortunatly does happen )
Work in a pawn shop and no all our items are not stolen goods. We I.D everyone selling something and we can usually tell if something is stolen because the guy selling it hasn't a clue about it. Also we communicate with the local police stations so we are aware of stolen items before they are brought in.
I'm a writer. I specialize in fan fiction. No, it's not always illegal. Yes, I get paid to write. And no, not all of my clients are creeps. It's actually a ton of fun, and most of what I do involves teaching other people how to write.
Optician. No I can't change your prescription, or renew your expired one. I'm not a doctor and that's super illegal. I'll get fined and fired.
Optician is like a nurse or dental technician. They help the doctor/dentist but are not authorized to prescribe medicine.
That we can remove children from their parents if we have concerns. A court order is needed to remove and strong evidence is needed to get an order. The amount of people in the UK who believe social workers can just take children in staggering.
Massage Therapists don't preform "happy endings" unless you go to some really shady places where they are technicians or not licensed at all. I know more anatomy and a lot of nurses (granted they have to learn much else that just gross anatomy, and it's what we specialize in, so there's that) and in Ohio we're held to the second highest standards in the country for licensure, taking many credit hours and a regulated boards test. I'm educated not a masseuse or technician.
Massage Therapist helped me with physical pain issues, movement, relaxation and better sleep. Would like to be able to afford to go once a week. I know I would be so much healthier in every way.
I work in road construction. Construction workers don't stand around all day. If they did, their bosses would yell at them and tell them to get back to work. There is some downtime inherent in the work, especially if unforseen issues arise, but typically those guys are expected to work hard all day, and the contractor's superintendent's entire job is to figure out logistics and keep people moving.
Also, those 8 guys standing around watching one guy dig aren't being lazy. The hole is only wide enough for one person. That one person digs like their a*s is on fire until they get worn out, then it's the next person's turn. So-on and so-forth around the whole group.
Tesla is the leader in AV technology.... Nope every company is around the same level. We all use the same Suppliers.
Pretty sure he meant "EV" not "AV". Unless Tesla has a line of projectors and monitors I don't know about.
Archaeologists do NOT dig up dinosaurs.
that would be paleaontologists. Archaeologists are just looking for their mummy.
Salesperson -- I'm not out to screw you. I want to help you out, yes I'll get paid, and so will the boss, but if you're nice to me, you'll get a lot better deal than if you're an a*****e
I have yet to have a single positive experience with anyone in consumer-side sales (cars, electronics, furniture, foundation repair, etc). I have extensive experience dealing with professional sales through work, and those people really do want their clients to be happy, because there is a limited client pool and they can't afford to take money from you once and then run.
'All athletes are stupid and only chose a sporting career because they had no other options.' I'm a straight A advanced student and I speak four languages. One of the girls I work with has two separate degrees and is studying for a third. We aren't stupid.
Taking the ambulance will not get you seen quicker. My favorite part of the day is when I get to wheel you straight through the ER and into the lobby with everyone else.
Hopefully they're only talking about entitled rude people here and don't generally enjoy being part of making sick and injured people wait for relief.
I'm similar to a car salesman, new and used.
Yes, we make commission, and yes, it's based on profit.
However, we'd rather lose 25% of our profit than the sale. We're on your side, and want to get you in the car/unit.
So, if you need a certain out the door price, payment, interest rate, or even unique finance terms, just tell us, and we'll do what we can to make them happen.
Just be warned, if you give a target payment, also insist on knowing your interest rate and term. When you lower a payment, you extend the term. When you extend the term, you can raise interest with it havign a smaller affect on the month to month.
You're similar to a car salesman? But you never said what you actually do?
Cleaning schools is actually pretty breezy, more often than not we do what we have to do in like an hour or two and from that point we just clean windows for a few hours until we knock off
Sure, sure, once I clean the poop off the wall, fix the broken stuff, punish my body (I am 60), get after the kids doing dumb s++t, sanitize so explosive diarrhea/covid is not a thing, it's a breeze
Engineers are never certain about anything. Everything we do basically comes down to educated guesses about what will work and what won't.
Not everyone that works on an oilrig gets dirty. In fact, barely anyone does.
Thats a lie. Worked on both service and drilling rigs. Service rigs are an oily mess, drilling rigs get you wet all the time, and you get greasy from working with and around all the moving mechanical parts. Oil does not gush out of the well like a geyser and onto the rig when you hit an oil pocket, thats 1910's oil rig stuff. Drilling rigs are muddy to work around, greasy to work on, and you are always getting wet. On a 6 man crew the only clean people are the driller and the tool push.
People in IT could not care less about you or how frustrated you are. We care about solving problems and making computers our b***h. Tell us what the problem is, give us the relevant info, get out of our way, and shut the f**k up.
Churches don't have pots of money at the ready to hand out if you call up and say you need it, nor do we have an apartment building out back all ready for you to move in to (or a list of little old ladies needing roomies) if you've just been kicked out of yours. Most of us have a regulated program with some particular type of aid we may be able to give you if you meet the requirements (if it is money or gift cards, often it's time-limited - we can only help you once a year or something like that) or a food bank or something specific along those lines.
Ya know? Most people don't expect hand-outs from churches. But I ***would*** expect some kindness from a "christian" organization. This person? Not kind. And this kind of person is why I won't ever step foot in a church again.
I'm not being coy or secretive: I genuinely don't know what my job actually is.
Speaking from my position as a medical doctor? No, we can't tell what's wrong with you if you *do not tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth*. If you do drugs recreationally, even once a week, we need to know. If you go to hookers, we need to know. If you're not sticking to your diet and exercise goals, we need to know. Et cetera. We're bound by law to not discuss you with anyone but you, and whoever yous ay we can talk to. You lying will only make your medical treatment less accurate, less helpful, and more frustrating for everyone. We *can't know* what we're not told. On an average day, during Covid, I'd see over 2 dozen people a shift, sometimes over 3 dozen, in an ER. About half would lie. Like we can't tell a needle track from a cat scratch?... Oy.
You know I’m with you on that one! Please tell us everything. We do not judge. At all. That’s not part of our jobs. We genuinely want to help you. If you have drug issues we definitely need to know. If you’re having surgery we need to know so we can keep you comfortable. We have pain control specialists, so there are plenty of ways we can do that. Also, if we aren’t aware that withdrawal could be an issue, we need to know that. If you aren’t truthful about how much you drink, and we encounter withdrawal we and you are going to have a serious, possibly life threatening issue. We aren’t going to judge. What we are going to do is give you medications before and after surgery that prevent withdrawl. We will thank you profusely for telling us.
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Moderator. No your comment wasn't removed to hide your opinion, to censor you or because the company is hiding the truth about poor service or products - it's entirely because you said f**k. Don't say f**k, and repost.
Just add my own asterisks now. I don't want to offend anyone, and everyone that isn't offended knows what I'm saying anyway.
Load More Replies...
As a bus driver, can I say we don’t know what happened to the bus in front and we don’t know when your bus will arrive (if we say ‘it’s right behind’ that’s because we need to get on our way. Also the chances of us knowing street names are slim as we’re unlikely to live there and there’s a lot of streets on the many routes we drive. Oh and if you hit your head on the mirror on your way out, please put it back
I'm a paralegal at a firm, but I don't like letting people know. No I can't do your divorce for you, no I can't predict the outcome of your cousins criminal trial, no I can't make Jethro pay you back for the weed to got from you....also, im not a licensed attorney I'm the help.
Why are the woman and her dog in number 15 sitting in the middle of train tracks
Astronomy/astrophysics is not spending your nights physically peering through a telescope and mapping or cataloging by hand. Those days are more than a century gone. These days it's about 50% ad hoc programming and 50% slogging through writing that makes you want to claw your eyes out. You second guess and double check and very often cite every clause of every sentence, so it's impossible to keep your train of thought from derailing every other minute. And that state goes on for *months*.
Most of these are pretty obvious to people with an IQ above room temperature.
Spent 7 years as a pizza delivery driver and trained other drivers. There is a huge difference between being aggressive and stupid.
I've been a roofer for over 20 years, I've also worked in a few different states, so I know there are things that are done differently in different climates. However, while in Ohio we had a job where a homeowner had their roof redone and decided to add 4 drywall screws to the bottom of each shingle, front and back, of the house. New homeowner has leaked everywhere because the screws rusted through. The plywood had, obviously, hundreds of nail holes, but also hundreds of screw holes and almost had to replace all of the plywood. I think if we were in a different place where inspections are done, the cost would have doubled for that job. You can't put holes in your roof and not expect it to leak! The asphalt adhesive on the shingles is more than strong enough to keep it from blowing off, even in hurricane strength winds. Do yourself a favor, call a professional for your roofing problems and don't forget you have one!
In response to the male nurse, u r ofcourse right but stating previous professions as paramedic or military medic does not preclude u from being gay. Guess what paramedics and military medics can be gay too.
Call center agent. No we don't sit around all day waiting for someone to call. The calls come back on back and the expected productive time is at least 85-90%, which is higher than in any other job. It's also not work any trained ape could do or just reading scripts. It's very demanding work that requires quick thinking and high ability to adapt to rapidly changing processes. You need a perfect understanding of what the company does and which department does what, you need to know all processes and the general terms of service or at least be able to find information very quickly. The average call times are mere minutes after all. 3-6 minutes average handling times are not uncommon. You need to be able to type fast while listening and route correctly. You need high affinity to different software. It's hard and demanding work. During COVID I saw lots of 'skilled professionals' trying to use cs jobs as an easy way to bridge tempor unemployment. Most of them burnt out like strawfire.
As someone who has worked in restaurants, I would like to say that servers, cashiers and host do alot more then what you see they do. It is called side work. Nobody just stands there and that is it. It takes alot. Some restaurants exploit employees having them do alot more then their job descriptions and do not pay enough. Example, if a waitress is making 2.35 an hour but ends up deep cleaning, running in the back to help cooks, washing dishes, and then some. I am not saying everywhere does this, but I have seen alot. Also, I have worked at many restaurants that do not train employees on any health and sanitation, or customer service, and sometimes not even with their own procedures. Don't even go by if a restaurant just looks clean either. The front cold looks clean but the wait staff is buying tables and cashing out without washing their hands before running food to your table. Ten you can go in the back to the cooler and see raw chicken defrosting over ready to eat foods and more.
I am a clothing reseller. We don't "take clothes from the poor." I have an encyclopedic knowledge of clothing brands and styles, I find the most valuable items for resale and extend their life cycle. In the US, 83% of all donated clothing goes to landfill. The clothes that I find are usually one step from being chopped up for textile reuse, or put into the waste stream. There are a lot of great clothes that I don't buy due to low resale value, many of those items have another 3-5 years of use left in them.
Speaking from my position as a medical doctor? No, we can't tell what's wrong with you if you *do not tell us the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth*. If you do drugs recreationally, even once a week, we need to know. If you go to hookers, we need to know. If you're not sticking to your diet and exercise goals, we need to know. Et cetera. We're bound by law to not discuss you with anyone but you, and whoever yous ay we can talk to. You lying will only make your medical treatment less accurate, less helpful, and more frustrating for everyone. We *can't know* what we're not told. On an average day, during Covid, I'd see over 2 dozen people a shift, sometimes over 3 dozen, in an ER. About half would lie. Like we can't tell a needle track from a cat scratch?... Oy.
You know I’m with you on that one! Please tell us everything. We do not judge. At all. That’s not part of our jobs. We genuinely want to help you. If you have drug issues we definitely need to know. If you’re having surgery we need to know so we can keep you comfortable. We have pain control specialists, so there are plenty of ways we can do that. Also, if we aren’t aware that withdrawal could be an issue, we need to know that. If you aren’t truthful about how much you drink, and we encounter withdrawal we and you are going to have a serious, possibly life threatening issue. We aren’t going to judge. What we are going to do is give you medications before and after surgery that prevent withdrawl. We will thank you profusely for telling us.
Load More Replies... Moderator. No your comment wasn't removed to hide your opinion, to censor you or because the company is hiding the truth about poor service or products - it's entirely because you said f**k. Don't say f**k, and repost.
Just add my own asterisks now. I don't want to offend anyone, and everyone that isn't offended knows what I'm saying anyway.
Load More Replies... As a bus driver, can I say we don’t know what happened to the bus in front and we don’t know when your bus will arrive (if we say ‘it’s right behind’ that’s because we need to get on our way. Also the chances of us knowing street names are slim as we’re unlikely to live there and there’s a lot of streets on the many routes we drive. Oh and if you hit your head on the mirror on your way out, please put it back
I'm a paralegal at a firm, but I don't like letting people know. No I can't do your divorce for you, no I can't predict the outcome of your cousins criminal trial, no I can't make Jethro pay you back for the weed to got from you....also, im not a licensed attorney I'm the help.
Why are the woman and her dog in number 15 sitting in the middle of train tracks
Astronomy/astrophysics is not spending your nights physically peering through a telescope and mapping or cataloging by hand. Those days are more than a century gone. These days it's about 50% ad hoc programming and 50% slogging through writing that makes you want to claw your eyes out. You second guess and double check and very often cite every clause of every sentence, so it's impossible to keep your train of thought from derailing every other minute. And that state goes on for *months*.
Most of these are pretty obvious to people with an IQ above room temperature.
Spent 7 years as a pizza delivery driver and trained other drivers. There is a huge difference between being aggressive and stupid.
I've been a roofer for over 20 years, I've also worked in a few different states, so I know there are things that are done differently in different climates. However, while in Ohio we had a job where a homeowner had their roof redone and decided to add 4 drywall screws to the bottom of each shingle, front and back, of the house. New homeowner has leaked everywhere because the screws rusted through. The plywood had, obviously, hundreds of nail holes, but also hundreds of screw holes and almost had to replace all of the plywood. I think if we were in a different place where inspections are done, the cost would have doubled for that job. You can't put holes in your roof and not expect it to leak! The asphalt adhesive on the shingles is more than strong enough to keep it from blowing off, even in hurricane strength winds. Do yourself a favor, call a professional for your roofing problems and don't forget you have one!
In response to the male nurse, u r ofcourse right but stating previous professions as paramedic or military medic does not preclude u from being gay. Guess what paramedics and military medics can be gay too.
Call center agent. No we don't sit around all day waiting for someone to call. The calls come back on back and the expected productive time is at least 85-90%, which is higher than in any other job. It's also not work any trained ape could do or just reading scripts. It's very demanding work that requires quick thinking and high ability to adapt to rapidly changing processes. You need a perfect understanding of what the company does and which department does what, you need to know all processes and the general terms of service or at least be able to find information very quickly. The average call times are mere minutes after all. 3-6 minutes average handling times are not uncommon. You need to be able to type fast while listening and route correctly. You need high affinity to different software. It's hard and demanding work. During COVID I saw lots of 'skilled professionals' trying to use cs jobs as an easy way to bridge tempor unemployment. Most of them burnt out like strawfire.
As someone who has worked in restaurants, I would like to say that servers, cashiers and host do alot more then what you see they do. It is called side work. Nobody just stands there and that is it. It takes alot. Some restaurants exploit employees having them do alot more then their job descriptions and do not pay enough. Example, if a waitress is making 2.35 an hour but ends up deep cleaning, running in the back to help cooks, washing dishes, and then some. I am not saying everywhere does this, but I have seen alot. Also, I have worked at many restaurants that do not train employees on any health and sanitation, or customer service, and sometimes not even with their own procedures. Don't even go by if a restaurant just looks clean either. The front cold looks clean but the wait staff is buying tables and cashing out without washing their hands before running food to your table. Ten you can go in the back to the cooler and see raw chicken defrosting over ready to eat foods and more.
I am a clothing reseller. We don't "take clothes from the poor." I have an encyclopedic knowledge of clothing brands and styles, I find the most valuable items for resale and extend their life cycle. In the US, 83% of all donated clothing goes to landfill. The clothes that I find are usually one step from being chopped up for textile reuse, or put into the waste stream. There are a lot of great clothes that I don't buy due to low resale value, many of those items have another 3-5 years of use left in them.
