Jokes that employ a play on words, also known as puns, are sometimes considered too simple and even childish. And while everyone is entitled to their own opinion and taste, let me remind you that some of the world’s greatest wordsmiths loved creating puns – including Mark Twain, Lewis Carroll, and John Lennon, just to name a few.
Making puns may seem easy but, in fact, requires a great feeling and understanding of language. The same is also necessary to get the meaning of a pun. Even if sometimes a pun falls into ‘dad jokes’ territory, there is nothing shameful about that. But if the listener has to make a huge leap to see the funny part, or it doesn’t make sense at all, sorry to say, but that’s a bad pun.
Interestingly, puns are the most difficult jokes to translate into other languages. A play on words that sounds funny in one language might never make sense in another one. Now you can imagine how difficult it was for translators all over the world to translate Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, both of which are studded with puns and word play.
In this article, we have collected some great jokes based on word play. Tell us the funniest puns you have ever heard in the comments, so we can share a laugh.
Police have arrested the World Tongue-Twister Champion. I imagine he’ll be given a tough sentence.
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The past, the present, and the future walked into a bar. It was tense.
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Coffee beans have successful marriages because they keep each other grounded.
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You do realize that vampires aren’t real. Unless you Count Dracula.
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What's the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause!
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Why did the barber win the race?
Because he took a shortcut.
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The person who invented the door knock won the Nobel Prize.
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Money doesn't grow on trees, right?
So why does every bank have so many branches?
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Somebody stole all my lamps.
I couldn't be more delighted!
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What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest!
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I bought an Impressionist painting, but my cat scratched it.
So I'm now selling it on, as a clawed Monet!
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37 consonants, 25 vowels, a question mark, and a comma went to court.
They will be sentenced next Friday!
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Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
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What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
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Why are horses better than other animals?
Because they’re very stable.
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What do you get when you cross a centipede with a parrot?
A walkie-talkie.
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Why did the scarecrow keep getting promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field!
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What do you call someone wearing a belt with a watch attached to it?
A waist of time!
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Why did the introvert become an astronaut?
She needed her space.
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How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket.
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What lights up a soccer stadium?
A soccer match.
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The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
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How can you get four suits for a dollar?
Buy a deck of cards!
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I was recently diagnosed with color-blindness.
It came out of the green!
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You're becoming a vegetarian?
I think that's a big missed steak!
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Why don't teddy bears ever order dessert?
Because they're always stuffed!
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What does a dog say when he sits down on a piece of sandpaper?
Ruff!
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What starts with E, ends with E, and has only one letter in it?
An envelope!
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Members of the archery club sometime meet at the cheese shop.
Just to shoot the Bries!
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When does a dad joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent.
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Why didn’t the man get a brain transplant?
Because he changed his mind.
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If you hear it from the horse's mouth, you're listening to a neigh-sayer.
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A man just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy.
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If you ever get cold, just stand in the corner of a room for a while. They’re normally around 90 degrees.
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I got fired from the candle factory because I refused to work wick ends!
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What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
One says, "Spit out your gum," and the other says, "Choo choo choo!"
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Why did Shakespeare only write using pens? Pencils confused him. 2B or not 2B.
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My wife said my wordplay is average. That's mean.
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It's hard to know which bug to vote for, but I'm choosing the lesser of two weevils.
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Spiders are great Internet consultants. They're always finding bugs in the web.
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A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
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An angry bird landed on a doorknob. Then it flew off the handle.
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Did you hear about the pessimist who hates German sausage?
He always fears the Wurst.
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Jokes about teachers on summer break are not funny.
They're just not working!
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My ex-wife still misses me.
But her aim is steadily improving!
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I read a book about World War II that was only four pages long.
It was Abridged Too Far!
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Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
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What’s the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A literalist takes things literally.
A kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
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Why do they put fences around graveyards?
Because people are dying to get in.
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Why are books about anti-gravity so great?
Because they’re impossible to put down.
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When a vulture flies, he takes carrion luggage.
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I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused, saying that the steaks were too high.
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Why was the clumsy farmer a great DJ?
Because he was always dropping beets.
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Why do pirates want to sing soprano?
So they can live in the high C's.
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Simba was walking so slowly I told him to Mufasa.
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Local man killed by falling piano. It will be a low key funeral.
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Do you know the soul singer Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in a vineyard?
He'd herd it through the grapevine!
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I call toilets "the Jim" instead of "the John."
So I can tell people, "I visit the Jim several times a day!"
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What does a grape say after it's stepped on?
Nothing. It just lets out a little wine!
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A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
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What do computers snack on?
Microchips!
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Why did the pig leave the party early?
Because everyone thought he was a boar!
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I've been having insomnia, so I've started sleeping in our fireplace.
Now I sleep like a log!
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I once worked in a bank…
But then I lost interest!
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A friend's dog swallowed a few coins.
He's keeping his eye on it, but says there's no change yet!
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I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there!
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My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up. But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
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It’s not a dad bod—it’s a father figure!
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Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
He wanted cold hard cash.
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Why shouldn’t you spell ‘part’ backwards?
Because it’s a trap.
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What happened to the man who accidentally swallowed food coloring?
He dyed a little inside.
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On the surface of things, whales are always blowing it.
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It's no fun telling jokes to cattle; they've herd it all.
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Don't trust a Great Dane to tell you the truth — all they have are tall tails.
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When a new hive is done, bees have a house-swarming party.
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Peacocks are meticulous because they show attention to de-tail.
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Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.
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I had a job tying sausages together, but I couldn’t make ends meet.
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A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but toucan play at that game.
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A courtroom artist was arrested today. The details are sketchy.
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Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind, it’s tearable.
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Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
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I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.
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I found a rock which measured 1760 yards in length. Must be some kind of milestone.
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I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party but my plans were foiled.
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Some clown opened the door for me this morning. That was a nice jester.
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I put a new freezer next to the refrigerator, now they’re just chilling.
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Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer!
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I dig, you dig, she dig, we dig, you dig.
The poem may not be beautiful, but it's certainly very deep!
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Why did the tea break up with her older coffee boyfriend?
He was so cold and bitter.
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eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.
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I’ve decided to sell my Hoover… it was just collecting dust.
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I used to build stairs for a living. Business was up and down.
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I Googled "how to start a wildfire".
I got 48,500 matches!
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?
Everything's fine. He woke up. But, according to your kid, they pay attention in school!
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I was hoping to steal some leftovers from the party.
But my plans were foiled!
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When you get depressed in the middle of winter, just chuck some butter from your window.
You'll see a butterfly!
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Did you hear about the guy who broke his left arm and leg?
He's all right now!
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Three guys walk into a bar.
They all said, ouch!
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What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables?
"You can stay. Just don't try to start anything!"
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I'd love to know how the Earth rotates.
It would totally make my day!
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An English teacher asked a student to name two pronouns.
The student answered, "Who, me?"
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What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A can’t opener.
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What do you call a nocturnal insect that knows just the right word?
Le moth juste.
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What kept the polecat reporter busy all day? Ferreting out details.
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What’s a cicada’s favorite beverage?
Well, it’s gotta be seasonally brood.
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What did the the drummer call his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two.
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What do prisoners use to call each other?
Cell phones.
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What did the man say after being overcharged for velcro?
What a rip off!
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Why should you never try to eat a clock?
Because it’s very time-consuming.
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I can't tell if this fish is lying, she's being so koi.
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It's raining cats and dogs, so don't step in a poodle!
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Insects that make honey are always on their best beehive-iour.
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Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
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Why are people who carry bees considered good-looking?
Because beauty is in the eye of the bee-holder.
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Why do male ants float while female ants sink?
They're buoy-ant.
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It's amazing how eagles catch their prey; they must be really talon-ted.
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I don't like this pizza very much. There's mushroom for improvement.
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Why can’t you lie to the x-ray tech?
They can see right through you.
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I used to disapprove of organ transplants, but now I've had a change of heart.
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I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
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Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
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What’s the difference between deer nuts and beer nuts? Beer nuts are two dollars, but deer nuts are under a buck.
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I recently heard about a mannequin that lost all of his friends. He was too clothes minded.
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I was at a climbing center the other day, but someone had stolen all the grips from the wall. You couldn’t make it up!
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No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
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