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45 Of The Most Unsettling Secrets People Have Revealed About Themselves In This Online Thread
In today's world, it seems as though everyone has something to hide. Whether it's a secret crush, a hidden talent, or a past mistake, it's becoming increasingly common for people to keep certain aspects of their lives hidden from the outside world.
And it’s totally fair. We all want to come across as the best versions of ourselves. Usually, we tend to avoid raising eyebrows and causing unnecessary questions.
But this Ask Reddit thread became a safe space for people to get some of the things they don’t normally share off their chest. “What is a scary, unsettling fact about you?” someone asked and the responses started rolling in one by one. Below we wrapped up some of the most interesting ones.
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#1
This is a weird one but I promise you, no b******t.
I had a metal screw/bolt roughly an inch and a half long stuck in my right lung from age 2-17. I must have put it in my mouth as a toddler and it got in got there somehow.
Anyway, The unsettling bit is that I always knew there was something seriously wrong with my body, because my whole life I would have instances in which I coughed uncontrollably, many times coughing up blood. Sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. But I never told anyone. Dad was neglectful and mom was always working, so it was relatively easy to hide. If it happened at school I’d excuse myself to the restroom until it stopped. No one ever showed concern those 15 years so I guess I kept it to myself well enough.
I never told anyone, because even as a small child I was very unhappy with life and wanted it to be over. I guess I figured my mystery illness would get me eventually, so I kept it a secret so I wouldn’t get treated.
It all came to a head at 17 when playing ball at the park with my parents, siblings, and some friends. I got a decent hit and ran around the bases when I started coughing. After sitting back down I tried to hold it in but I couldn’t… and this time it was too bloody to hide and no bathroom to go to. So my step uncle noticed after a minute or two, everyone is crowded around me while I’m coughing up a s***load of blood in and around a trash can. My little brother told me after that they actually sent guys in hazmat suits to clean it up because they didn’t know if whatever was wrong with me was contagious.
But anyway, got to the hospital got the X-ray which showed the screw lit up like Christmas imposed over my rib cage. Doctor guy just went “Well there’s your problem!” I guess he was trying to lighten the mood since everyone was understandably freaking the f**k out.
Two weeks of surgery, three total, and it was out. I still have breathing issues, but the cough is gone now. I made the screw into a necklace which I wear sometimes because I find it oddly comforting to be reminded of my own mortality. I know that’s weird but it’s just sort of how I am all things considered.
I never told my family I knew there was something wrong with me, because telling them would mean admitting to them that I wanted to die the whole time.
I still struggle with mental health c**p for this and many, many other reasons I won’t get into, but things are a lot easier than they used to be.
But anyway, if you actually took the time to read about my weird little life I appreciate your time and hope your day is pleasant.
Dani Pret 2 years ago
Thank you for notepad for scale. I can see it's massive and have no idea how you managed to swallow that!!
Epona 2 years ago
Thank you, Dani, for NOT mentioning "banana for scale"! A one-and-a-half-inch-long bolt is not that massive unless you are a toddler. Well, I guess it is if you are putting it in your mouth when it is not something that should go in your mouth. At any age! OP's neglectful dad should not have been doing whatever required the one-and-a-half-inch-long bolt/s with the toddler nearby unless said toddler was in a crib or playpen or was properly supervised while choking hazards were present. I need to find something else to think about because this particular subject is stressing me out.
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Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Wow, I'm glad they're doing so well after having a screw in their lung for so long. I wish things had been more pleasant for them so they would have told someone sooner. I feel badly for them. Children shouldn't have to worry and make choices as to which issue they actually worry most about.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
It's very difficult to believe, but to the younglings out there who might read this, there are lots and lots of"adults"who don't have their heads up their behinds and who care about you. And for what it's worth, it's not weird that you made a necklace out of it. I would have had it made into a crown and worn it. Just kidding, but I had an inch long bone sliver work out after a healed injury, and I carried it for years, just to mess with people. God bless and keep you. I'm sure you learned as I did from a chaotic childhood, that kindness is good for the receiver and the giver. My prayers and when I say that, I mean it.
SkankHunt42 2 years ago
Screw you. No I'm just kidding. I'm sorry O.P. I couldn't resist. I am very glad you have fully recovered from this. I'm also pleased that you are getting the mental help you need. Your story was very interesting!
WindySwede 2 years ago (edited)
Rather the parents? Edit: I know pun but parent neglect.
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Devil'sAdvocate 2 years ago
wow! i'm sorry you had to go through that, but I think you're amazing and that it's genius to wear the nail as a necklace as a reminder of mortality!
RELATED:
#2
I’m an alcoholic, gotten so bad to the point I was in jail and I was admitted into a psych ward once. My drinking life was wild and destructive. Decided I’ve had enough. After 2 failed attempts I’m currently 36 days sober, the most sober I’ve been in years.
Monday 2 years ago
You can do it! This random person on the internet believes in you!
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Dani Pret 2 years ago
That's a long time, well done. I know that I used to count the hours since my last drink but I've been 3 years sober now!
Tamra 2 years ago
That's absolutely wonderful, Dani! Wishing you many more years of happiness and well-being.
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M. William Bell 2 years ago
Seven months for me next week. One foot in front of the other my friend. l’ll see you here in six months! You will never regret making this decision.
Maebe Maeve 2 years ago
You're doing great. Wishing you the best for your continued recovery.
Load More Replies... SkankHunt42 2 years ago
CONGRATULATIONS. THIS IS A VERRRRRY HARD THING TO ACCOMPLISH YOU DESERVE MANY MANY APPLAUSES!!!!!
ShellsBells 2 years ago
I'm so glad to see so much positively and support! As someone who will hit 10 years on July 22nd, I have heard so many rude comments and I have seen people who are ashamed of their sobriety. Way to go everyone!
#3
My dog and my mother died in the same year.
I was so devastated when my dog passed. That kind of pain didn't even touch the pain of losing my mom.
Partially because she had given up on me and life years before she died. She drank herself to death and got sepsis. My dad killed himself in 02. I'm 38 now. I miss them.
I miss my dog more. She was always there for me, through so much illness and loneliness and pain. She was my best friend.
RIP
Weird Any 2 years ago
I lost my dog four days ago. No words can describe that pain. I miss him more every day. And my husband said he felt more pain for him than for his mother who passed away two years ago.
Dill 2 years ago
Hugs and much sympathy. Have two dogs right now but still miss the ones I had before.
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MagicJacket 2 years ago
My mom was salt of the earth, but I cried way more when my favorite dog died in 2021 than when she did (mom died in 2017.) Maybe it was the wide-eyed innocence of that little dog, and my feeling of responsibility for him. He was moving on to where I could no longer care for him. My mom was 81 and had lived a very full life and knew what was going on. Maybe that's why I reacted the way I did. I don't think she would fault me for it. People grieve in different ways for different people, pets etc.
Bec 2 years ago
I can relate. My dad just passed and I was remembering how torn up I was when my cat died a few years ago, but with dad I've been relatively ok. Dad's last words were 'I'm ready to go '.-I know we were good and he had no regrets. But my poor kitty boy was just suddenly sick and there was nothing we could do:(
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MsLou 2 years ago
That is my biggest fear. When my dog passes, I don't know how I am going to handle life
Tamra 2 years ago
Well...you just keep going. It's not easy to have to say goodbye to them, because they are such pure sources of love and joy. That's the worst part of having a beloved pet. What helped me was deciding to give another pet a loving, safe home.
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Detective Miller's Hat 2 years ago
I have never felt such intense pain and grief as I did when my first cat died. I was suicidal for weeks.
Catte West 2 years ago
I miss my cats more than any human. They alone, gave me unconditional love.
J 2 years ago
I'm sorry that happened to you. In 2022 I lost my great aunt, my great uncle, my other great aunt, my aunt, my grandfather, and my dog. So I fe your pain and I hope your able to continue on.
Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
J, I am so terribly sorry for all the losses you experienced last year. I hope 2023 brings you nothing but love and light. I am sending you a very big hug.
Load More Replies... Donna Sempek 2 years ago
You can't replace your parents but I'm sure there is a dog out there that needs your love
#4
My cat is the only thing keeping me from offing myself. I have a husband and kids, and they should be the reason I stay alive. The thing is… my family has people to take care of them if I go. But my cat only likes me. He waits every night by the door for me to come home, and every time I’m in a dark place and thinking of just… ending it, I think about how this damn cat would just wait and wait for me until he died. Kind of like that Futurama episode with Fry’s dog.
JC 2 years ago
Remember, suicide doesn't end the pain, it only transfers it to everyone you love.
Cat Palmer 2 years ago
I'm still here and posting on BP because of my little cat. She was abandoned by her previous owners and spent an unknown amount of time as a stray, then a year in a shelter because no-one wanted her until I came along, and I just couldn't bring myself to do that to her again no matter how much I wanted out of life. She's sitting beside me as I write this.
Catte West 2 years ago
I've posted this before, bears repeating: "In my darkest hour, I reached for a hand and found your paw.". Cats love purely and honestly.
OnAFreakingRollercoaster 2 years ago
I pretty much could've written this statement myself 😏 sending you hugs 🫂
Neli 2 years ago
Get help, don't wait until that moment comes. I've lost my mom to suicide eventhough she was a pretty strong person....people don't understand what's going on inside your head unless you make an effort to tell them. You're probably suffering from depression, it will get better with help.
Dani Pret 2 years ago
Don't let the cat be the only joy in your life. Your family also "wait by the door" and need you. Please get medical help because for me it was like putting glasses on and finding the joy and purpose. I studied the Bible too and it's very interesting and supportive
ADHD raptor 2 years ago
same thing with me and my familly, i gt bullied for being a furry everyday on campus and the only reason i havent killed myself is bcz i know that when i get home they will be there waiting for me
#5
Less scary and more shocking, but when I was 9 years old I survived a home invasion where I was [injured] 6 times. I played dead on the floor until the man left and called 911 and in my adrenaline rush I thought they couldn't find my house so I crawled with my left are swinging the wrong way and my right leg limp from nerve damage, all the way to the front door when he broke in from the back of the house.
I lived with only my mother who unfortunately didn't survive. I vividly remember picking out the guy in a photo line up while recovering in the ICU.
I am very lucky to have kept my left arm, I have 32 pins and screws to make up for my shattered elbow. My left leg has permanent nerve damage and I now have "drop foot". Despite my physical injuries and PTSD, I am doing very well.
Alex, defs not a coat possum 2 years ago (edited)
I’m glad that you’re doing well. Edited my grammar mistake, didn’t notice it at first.
EnderVexer 2 years ago
Please tell ... to get off my back for trying to be funny.
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Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Poor baby, I'm glad they got the piece of freaking garbage and I hope they fry his âss in prison. I can't imagine the horrors this child endured at the hands of this monster and lost their mother 😔. I hope they're doing okay now and that they have someone who loves and takes good care of them. My heart goes out to them.
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
as someone that lost their mom to a home invasion at around the same age, I'm sorry, and there is someone that lived and lives your life and knows how it is, GOD SPEED!
𝖇𝖎 𝖌𝖔𝖙𝖍 𝖖𝖚𝖊𝖊𝖓 2 years ago
i am so glad you're healing i feel bad for you i also survived an invasion when i was 6 but my friends were with me and i got shot but its healed that was 6 yrs ago
RetailDrone 2 years ago
For [injured] read shot. It's what happened, it's not a rude word. Sick of BP being too PC.
Torza 2 years ago
Thank u. BP takes 'censorship' to absolutely ludicrous lengths.
Load More Replies... #6
I constantly think about leaving my current life behind and just living alone somewhere remote where no one knows I exist.
Odd thing is, I have a really good happy life- and I’d never do it, but I think about it constantly
scag$y 2 years ago (edited)
Same, but with my doggo. I have always (from childhood) wanted to be a lighthouse keeper. Now they're practically all automated so there's not much call for intrepid little me. :(
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K- THULU 2 years ago
Worked for me.... Didn't even have to go anywhere remote..... Turned my back on society 22 years ago and haven't looked back.... Leave home for work( work with only 3 people) and that's it....
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
I constantly want to do that. Live off the grid in Alaska and grow and can my own veggies. Just haven’t figured out the logistics of hunting elk in my electric wheelchair. Lol
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
Completely sympathise, but growing veggies in Alaska can be *much* harder than hunting elk!
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rs_adahl1971 2 years ago
We all have moments we think and feel this way. I think it's our brains way of telling us that we need to take care of ourselves, to recenter and refocus. If that makes sense.
Robert McKenzie 2 years ago
'Take a break' is the common parlance! TOO true! (It is why we are allowed vacation days.)
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g90814 2 years ago
I could just about do that now, I have a job that's 90% remote, I only go into office to socialize, no actual requirement.
JPotts 2 years ago
That is my goal. Being able to live in a mobile home and travel. Almost there, maybe next year.
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Pablo Ramos 2 years ago
When someone tells me they want to kill themselves, it is valuable to dissuade them of such terrible choice, so I tell them, "Look if you are a person you don't want to be, and you are absolutely certain, then don't kill YOU. Kill that person. Move somewhere. Do something completely different. Become a person you can be and be happier with"
Mr. Toast 2 years ago
Similarly.A remote cottage by the sea, a dog, a cat and a sandy beach to walk on. There is a cottage for sale I found in the UK that has no running water, no electricity and a composting toilet.You need a 4x4 to get to it, it overlooks the sea and has a sandy beach. It is a lottery dream. People ask why ? I think it is about peace see the poem - The Lake Isle of Innisfree.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I have the exact same fantasy - of just packing up and disappearing somewhere never to be seen again. I even plan it all out in my head sometimes when I'm lying in bed. And every time I'm near a dock I imagine sneaking on board one of the big cargo ships and letting it take me far away over the ocean to places I never dreamed of. I'd never actually do it, but I sure as hell fantasise about it a lot.
#7
I put my dad out of his misery when he was on his death bed. I overdosed him with his painkillers and he died an hour later.
Clown fish 2 years ago
That's sad. That you lost your dad and sad that he was in so much pain you had to make that decision
Aran Lindvail2 2 years ago
And sad that so many countries have BS laws around assisted suicide forcing people to stay alive through terminal illness and horrible pain.
Load More Replies... scag$y 2 years ago
You did him a wonderful service and he would be super proud of you. I hope there's someone around to do the same for me one day. If required.
patricia patricia 2 years ago
Exactly what I was thinking. I hope I'll have the courage to do the same if somebody needs my help to end suffering, and I hope somebody does it for me when I need it.
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DC 2 years ago
While this is sad, I must say I'd hope everybody has at least one person who, all law and stuff aside for a moment, does the right thing. Providing final medication can be one of them ... but, please, make sure to not have anyone putting themselves at risk of prosecution! Arrange according to local law, that the access to the final meds is easy enough and stuff. If you push them out of the blister packs - fine. If you stuff them in their mouth - depends ... and so on ... please do your relatives this final favour, but do it on condictions preventing you from jail.
Vinita Talaulikar 2 years ago
Euthanasia should be allowed. Many suffer a hell lot in the end of their life. Bed ridden, organs failure, injection, pain killers and IV's.
OmBoyGanesh 2 years ago
I came to say this. When you’ve had to watch a loved one at home in hospice care go through the agony of slowly dying and you know they’re in more pain than anything else, they’ve made their peace & said their goodbyes, that bottle of diaudid and vial of liquid morphine can be the most important tools in their transition. It sucks that modern medicine is so focused on prolonging life that we don’t have a succinct way of helping people die with dignity and peace.
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Dmal1 2 years ago
I am so sorry you had to make such a hard decision. I hope if I am ever at that stage of life and in that much pain someone has your courage to help me be at peace.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I've already made a pact with my husband....no life support, or if I'm in great pain, please end my life.
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ohjojo (you/your's) 2 years ago
It certainly hope you're not holding it against yourself in any way at all. You did him a favor by letting him go. God bless
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
In medical terms, there's an ethical principle called the doctrine of double effects. It looks at good intentions versus unwanted outcomes, and I think it was first put forward by St Thomas Aquinas (13th century). If someone is in pain, and you give medication with the intention of helping their pain, then that's an ethical action. There may be some types of medication which could potentially affect or even stop their breathing, but you're not prescribing or giving it to stop breathing, you're giving the dose needed to help with their pain. When it comes to terminally ill patients, we treat our pets better. When I was younger, our next door neighbour had lung cancer and was dying. The doctor refused to give him any strong painkillers in case he became addicted-he died a few days later in agony, it was utterly shameful. I remember my dad going round to help move him and turn him in bed, and he said that Keith was in so much pain he cried when you touched him. We have to do better.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
Oh God that is dreadful! And negligent on behalf of the doctor.
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#8
I’m slowly leaving society and don’t plan to tell anyone. I purchased a small piece of property, one small cabin in which I’ll live and a second that has been remodeled for use as a rental to subsidize my income. I have 2 years +/- of work left and have no intention of telling them either. My parents are both dead and my brother has been estranged for 2 decades. When I hit my monetary goal in a couple years, I’m just not showing up for life any more. I’ve deleted all socials aside from Reddit as I use it for news and information to stay current until I leave the grid. My phone will also be be left behind. I plan to take a laptop to communicate with the rental agency and any issues with renters that may arise as I plan to act as the caretaker of said rental. Tl;dr: I’m walking away from it all. Work, friends, any and all obligations. The world tires me and I see no point in continuing to be part of it on any real scale. And telling no one.
scag$y 2 years ago
No mate, this thread is for scary, unsettling facts, not facts that will make every single panda uncontrollably jealous of you. Good luck though, sounds literally, perfect.
eame 2 years ago
I understand this desire, but as someone who spent 2 years completely alone, you have no idea how bad it gets. Take dogs with you.
Lara M 2 years ago
Yeah, it's one of those things that sounds way more appealing as a fantasy than as reality. I am as introverted as it gets, and I still went crazy after 3 years of social isolation.
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Firefly 2 years ago
I get not telling the brother as he isn't part of the op's life. I find it extremely selfish and irresponsible to not tell anyone. Workmates and friends will report them missing, and much time, money, and resources will be wasted looking for a potentially endangered missing person. Leave a letter or tell someone something without including specific details.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
I get it buddy. 100%. Maybe there is nothing wrong with you, maybe the modern world is the problem
Alexandra Nara 2 years ago
I feel you..sometimes it all just seems to be an endless loop of behaviours, situations and experiences. It is in the wood, too but here I find sense and peace in this loops
Mrs Irish Mom 2 years ago
Have a place in middle of nower with no electricity, no internet, plenty of animals and no pub or shop and love it for about 2 weeks and when im bk home turning on kettle or light switch feels amazing
ohjojo (you/your's) 2 years ago (edited)
There is a village in Italy that is so empty that they are paying people to move to it. Go there.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I'd do that but I'm an ambivert. People make me anxious but I couldn't go for more than a few days without talking to them
#9
When I was 18 years old, I was incarcerated for three years, found not guilty, and acquitted on all charges. I had roughly 12 charges, some of which would have led to life in prison had I been found guilty, but I knew I was innocent and decided to fight my case. My best friend at the time was found guilty and given three life sentences. At one point, 1 1/2 years in, the D.A. offered me seven years, and two felony strikes as a deal or I could roll on my best friend and go home that same day. I passed and had to continue to fight my case as I knew they didn’t have any solid evidence against me. As my parents ran out of money for an attorney, I was eventually appointed a State appointed attorney who fought for me tooth and nail. He kicked a*s and listened to everything I presented to him about why I wasn’t guilty. Mind you, I was 18 and I was surrounded by grown men and saw some horrific s**t. I kept in contact with my attorney afterward and informed him that I was still doing well out here; he died a couple of years ago. Now, don’t get me wrong, I was no saint, I was in a gang and running the streets and up to no good, but I wasn’t guilty of these charges. A part of me felt that maybe it was the universes way of slowing me down and helping me get my s**t together. Took a short while but I’ve been on the right track. This February will be 20 years since I’ve been released.
Stephanie A Mutti 2 years ago
And let it be a billboard to all who read; Court appointed attorneys are some of the finest attorneys in the US. They are underpaid, overworked and have to deal with an unearned reputation of not being good. They know the courtroom, the da, the judge and the law.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
I was on a jury for a murder trial. There was almost no evidence to convict the guy, but he was big and scary looking. During deliberations, one of the jurors who wanted to convict said he would hate to let the guy go, and read in the news a few years later that he killed somebody else. I said, that is a serious what-if. You're talking about regretting a possible future crime. How would you feel though if you read 10 years from now that he was being released because of DNA evidence. We would have stolen a decade from this young man for the crime of being scary looking. The police had presented no actual evidence. The witnesses all said the murder was done by the victim's neighbor (so it's not like people were afraid to talk). The victim's own sister said she was talking with the defendant at a party across town when the murder occurred. I couldn't understand why the dude was even on trial. The only real evidence was that when the police tried to arrest him, he ran away.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
We found him not guilty btw. This was 7 years ago, and I have no read any articles about him ever being arrested for any crimes afterward. I honestly hope the victim's family got the justice they deserve, but even they didn't think the defendant was guilty. They kept telling us in the trial it was their next door neighbor. They were terrified of him, and he was a drug dealer and gang member. The victim had gotten into an altercation with him the previous day. Not sure why the police didn't arrest him. These people had to live next door to a guy that murdered their family member. So messed up.
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Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
Makes me wonder how many other innocent people are locked up. I'm guessing most of them aren't fortunate enough to have someone fight for them.
diana king 2 years ago
You had 3 years of your life stolen from you. I don't know if you are from the USA, but I imagine you are because our legal system is s**t. I've been in and out of jail since I was 20, all because one night I smoked a bowl of weed outside of a club with a guy I had met and a cop came up to my parked car and shined in a light. He never got the weed either, just the bowl, which I stupidly gave him, believing him when he said to just give it to him and he let me off with a warning. Yeah, right. He arrested me, I was put on probation for like 5 years, and because of that charge, I wound up losing my dream job and therefore quickly spiraled because of depression, causing me to get into the harder drugs. One good thing that came out of it is I met the love of my life, a Sergeant for the Sheriffs office, and he actually was the one to tell me NEVER TRUST A COP. My brother is a cop as well,
Helena 2 years ago
Agreed. There is no justice or common sense in our system.
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diana king 2 years ago
Why can't I delete my comment? It's way too long and I didn't mean to post it, I did that by accident, but now I can't delete it
simplyTas 2 years ago
I've had that issue, also. I don't know if it's because I only have my cellphone for access to the internet, or what.
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#10
Sometimes I think I have memories of being sexually molested or exploited as a young child. But I can’t ever be sure if the memories are real, and I wouldn’t dare ask anyone.
Edit: I am shocked and horrified at how many others have similar experiences/suspicions. But the amount of people that feel comfort in knowing they aren’t alone has made sharing this post worth it. Wishing you all clarity, peace, and healing.
Alexia 2 years ago
Get a therapist specialized on trauma (not any therapist can deal with this). If you don't "click" with that person (it happens often), look for somebody else. It will be worth it
Beth Wendland 2 years ago
Good advice. Also, check out the book The Body Keeps the Score.
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Monday 2 years ago
Your brain can't tell the difference between a real and a fake memory...so whether you were actually molested or not the emotional trauma is still real.
Mia Black 2 years ago (edited)
I feel this. I am 99,99% Sure (because you can not be 100%), that nothing Bad happened to me as a child in my parents house but there are this Feelings. I read a lot!!! Books in my childhood with Mobbing and abusing as a topic - i somehow liked it (i always felt with the victim ofc) ... maybe because i was bullied since Kindergarten and to share Emotions this way or reading it could be worse or whatever... But today i think i maybe implemented some of these Feelings from the stories as Part of my own past (which they are somehow but different) and that could have made my Depression a little worse.. I don't know. But my fear is, that someday i became confused (through an accident or illness) and cannot differentiate between my Real past and the books past and could say something Bad about my parents, which would not be true... You know? My sister had an accident and wired some memories wrong afterwards (have talked with her and my brother about it) . Was very hurtful for my parents
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brandyy17 2 years ago
my friend went to one and nothing happened. no memories recovered. she ended up doing meditation stuff she found on youtube and that did the trick go figure. she wanted to remember something that happened to her that was causing subconscious anxeity. my other friend wanted to just remember her dad who died wen she was 2 and she took the hypnotism route. she says she has memories of him now but who knows how legit that is she isnt the type to lie and her mom says the memories happened.
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Ambyr Miller 2 years ago
It took until about 5 years ago for my parents to admit that my memories were real.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
I sometimes wonder if this is why I can't remember most of my childhood
Cassidy Moore 2 years ago
Whats scary to me is my younger sister have vivid memories of stuff happening to us from our uncle and I dont remember anything about it. She has told me things that happened where I was with her and that I comforted her and I feel bad that I was able to block that stuff out.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
When you're very young, memories are not clear, but impressions and the effect on your life are. From personal experience, seeking "the truth" is not always possible. Sometimes it is more productive to just recognise the trauma rather than getting focused on the narrative. I think this is especially true for children under 8. They may not understand what is happening to them, therefore memories are not stored in a way that an adult can readily understand. The main thing is being kind to you and finding a psychologist who can help you manage all of this.
Monica Michelle 2 years ago
Absolutely not alone. What I remember is enough but I know it is not even close and everyone who would know is gone.
Rosy Maple Moth 2 years ago
That’s terrifying! Please see a therapist to help you find out what happened.
#11
Slept in my mom's bed until I was 12 years old. Everyone believed I was just a momma's boy, including myself. It was actually because I shared a bedroom with my brother who molested me. I start therapy soon.
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
oh the other hand, my brother slept in the same bed as mom for 13 years, no reason, just loved mom, he had his own bed room, but he said it made him feel happy to sleep by her, and now he's an adult with a gf, normal as hell {super boring}
Detective Miller's Hat 2 years ago
I used to sleep in my mother's bed too, but she was never home and the tv in her room had more channels than mine.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Poor baby, I hope he gets the help he needs. I hope something was done about his brother too. The behaviors won't stop with him because she moved him out of the bedroom. There has or will be further victims of her other son and it's not fair to leave it unaddressed. I hope OP will be okay.
SarDemMin 2 years ago
molest /məˈlɛst/ verb past tense: molested; past participle: molested 1. sexually assault or abuse (a person, especially a child
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#12
I have unusually good night vision, extra cones/rods (I forget which is for low light) which means I walk around in what other people consider complete darkness, able to see just fine. Add onto that I'm 6'10" and very large, basically a cryptid
Raumpfleger 2 years ago
As a tall guy with good nightvision myself, I can tell you: it is very cool for oneself, but really unsettling to other people who you scare the sh@t out of when they meet you in the dark because you had no reason to turn lights on. 😁
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Mason Kronol 2 years ago
This confuses me. I can see in the dark very well. My husband always needs a nightlight but I can spot everything in the bedroom. I thought he just has bad vision, maybe I have a super power instead!
Concetta Varano 2 years ago
I heard that women have better night vision than men. Every man I have been in a relationship with as had terrible night vision -compared to me.
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GirlFriday 2 years ago
I have this too and freak people out because I don't have turn on any lights to find my way to my office, around my home, in a strange place, etc. I have often been told not to go somewhere alone when it is dark (think walking down a dark alley or into a not-so-well-lit parking garage), but the thing is, it is never dark to me.
Tushar Roy Mukherjee 2 years ago
Hey dude. So do I. I have Ambplyopia in my left eye. After treatment started, my right eye used to remain covered by a patch for 24 hours straight. Sometimes the doctor would suggest not allowing any direct light to enter the Right eye, so the patch was only opened in complete darkness. Guess what I got out of it...
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
I trade you. I can see people magnetic aura. It really not as great some say it is.
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
I have good eyesight in the dark, despite having only one eye, only..... I'm 7'4, Imagine a tall albino Japanese guy coming up in the middle of the night walking to you, going "boo" then walking off giggling...... I may have done this a bit to people~
Greenmantle 2 years ago
Wow! You sound like you live a very unusual life Leoninus!
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badboyhalo 2 years ago
I can't see in the dark after a light is turned off but I know where everything is so I can make it to my bed
John Parkes 2 years ago
This guy sounds like Riddick. Like the rest of the people are saying, its really cool and not unsettling.
#13
I have a tendency to self isolate, and it’s damaged very long term friendships because people don’t understand that it’s not them it’s me and that I really mean no harm or have any ill feelings towards them, I just kinda want to recede into my own mind. I feel really bad about it and keep telling myself to reach out but I don’t.
Poppy 2 years ago
I didn't know why I do this also, I'm 47 and have very few if no close friends. Turns out I have ADHD and being around people is exhausting for me. I have one person who I consider my best friend who doesn't live close by (maybe 2.5 hours away) whom I see 2 or 3 times a year. This is perfect for me. I also have that thing that even though I don't speak to a friend for long periods of time, I do still think of them the same way I did when we used to be closer. Like people say they lose contact with someone, if I did that, I'd still consider them my friend and would still think of them the same as if we were still in daily contact.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
I have the same problem and I can't explain why I am like this and it drives people nuts.
Linda Riebel 2 years ago
Tell new friends about this history BEFORE you do a disappearing act. That may help.
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
I do this too. The only downside, you may not recognize when you’re deathly ill. Was in New Mexico alone after my fiancé died. No one checked on me. After a year my brother wanted me closer to him. Three weeks after I got to Iowa, I ended up hospitalized. I fell 9 times in 36 hours, had an altered mental state, spilled my Gabapentin all over myself and then absentmindedly took 7 of them picked up off my shirt instead of putting them back in the bottle. My sister in law is a CNA and recognized this as unusual behavior and called 911. ( or 988 in UK). My blood pressure was 67 and my BUN level ( blood urea nitrogen, checks kidneys) was 47. I had urosepsis. A UTI that started to poison my body. I was in the ICU unconscious for 5 days. Then hospitalized for another three weeks. Had no symptoms of a UTI, except back pain which I attributed to back pain I already have. I must’ve had this infection in my body for months…unknowingly. Sometimes people can save your life.
Pink Taco Eater 2 years ago
I’ve been like this the past few years. Lost allot of friends because of it.
David 2 years ago
Ouch. This one is too relatable. The past year or so I've come to realize I've lost and/or distanced some decades old friendships because I'm an introvert and keep to myself. In my mind if someone is my friend they continue to be my friend unless there is some obvious reason that should change. But apparently normal people think if you don't stay in touch you don't care / have moved on / whatever. Sucks because that same inward dwelling prevents me from making many new friends.
#14
I'm intersex, and my bone structure is fully compromised, cause of deformities, and a lot of pain...
need surgeries that I'll probably be never able to afford
will live life like a ghost inside a shell
Wintermute 2 years ago
True, if only moving there were equally as free. Legally relocating between countries can cost thousands of dollars and years of time.
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Remi (He/Him) 2 years ago
Might cause bone deformities in the pelvic area. Just guessing, but that would cause quite a lot of pain especially when standing/walking
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SarahBee 2 years ago
Wait, if you're in constant pain (and in the US), insurance should pay for this. If there's any procedure they can do to alleviate the pain, it would be covered, and not considered "elective surgery." Please check in with a doctor about this!
clist414 2 years ago
Also known as a pre-existing condition. Horrifying but true
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Gary Geracci 1 year ago
I have made it to 80, in spite of the same. Society and their programs were no help when I sought it!
#15
I can turn my emotions off to any situation if I choose too and basically be in a state of blankness. Doesn’t matter how sad or bad it is. Therapist said it’s a defense mechanism from a messed up childhood.
scag$y 2 years ago
I can turn them off but then I can't turn them back on again. They just make a dramatic surprise random appearance, usually at the most embarrassing time possible.
Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Omg SAME! Well, actually, it’s less I can turn them off and flip a switch, but more that I can predict when they will turn off, which is usually when I’m in a really stressful situation (homework overload due to procrastination, tech week for a musical, etc). I have no idea how to turn them on again; they usually burst through as a panic attack. A recent technique I’ve used to try to turn them back on that works occasionally is recognizing that I’m a living human being with a limited pov, and my time here is limited, and I’m not just a bystander looking down on the world. I try to concentrate on how everything feels, and how I can move my face and my hands in the mirror. Causes some anxiety and existential dread when it works but it works sometimes.
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Marie Dahme 2 years ago
My therapist called emotional disregulation. A traumatic childhood can sometimes make you numb to react in normal situations. Sometimes medications don’t work….if you don’t feel anything to begin. You know the proper response and you can emulate it, but the deep down life situations don’t affect you as they should.
Detroit Citizen 2 years ago
I used to do that OP. I witnessed my mother being abused from the time i was 2-12, then we moved, she became an alcoholic for five years and abused me. I dont turn them off anymore, I control them. I dont get embarrassed, shocked or surprised. Its hard OP but we need our emotions, if we dont use them we become like the monsters who preyed on us.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I can completely understand this one. It's definitely a result of abuse/neglect situations.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I have a similar issue, but it's specifically sadness and I can't control it. I just don't feel sadness right. If I cry it's cause I'm anxious or angry, which I usually am. One of my birds died around a year ago and I didn't feel any grief until recently and now it's killing me. I didn't even have her for that long- only a few months- but it's made a huge emotional impact on me, although nearly a year after her death. Before that i was completely unaffected and actually was worried that I was a psychopath or something. I think it's probably a combination of me being surrounded by a lot of death and bullying that happened throughout my elementary school. I just have incredibly strange reactions around anything that might trigger sadness. Either I get angry, start panicking, or just don't react.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
It's called compartmentalizing, and is a skill everyone has to some degree. It's what allows us to project the persona we want in different situations. But for people with childhood trauma it is often hyper functional. You can basically completely dissociate yourself from what is happening. My wife says it's creepy because I can basically become a different person with a totally different personality. It's not the same as dissociative identity disorder (aka multiple personalities), as these personas are purely superficial. I am always still myself with my own thoughts. It's more like you can take a part of yourself and lock it in a box in a corner of your mind. Then you access that part at a later date if you need to. It's a learned survival behavior.
brandyy17 2 years ago
this happens to me in extreme situations my anxeity disorder goes into defense mode and basically shuts down my emotions so i dont freak out. i have no control over it it just happens. once the situation is over i go back to normal and then freak out about wat happened. like wen my apartment flooded i was like "ok this is happening" we had no power its a basement apartment water wasnt stopping bc of the storm. wen the power came back we used the wet vac to get the water out. it was wen my husband and father in law were using the wet vac that my emotions came back. i started freaking out so i took some zzzquil at 4am and went to sleep.
#16
I have no will to live and I'm only still here so I don't upset my family and friends.
scag$y 2 years ago
There are many of us. But WHY are we all struggling like this? Has it always been this way? Or is modern life just too much to deal with? WTF is going on here??!!
JustJackie 2 years ago
I'm just waiting for my parents to pass. I'm not close to my siblings. Every single day, I just want to make them proud, and I can't. I have BPD, it's tiring and I want it to be over. I don't have the mental strength for life. I just don't want to hurt my parents like that, thinking about how that would break them, has me crying. I love my parents, they are basically my world.
Airt 2 years ago
If you know about your BPD you probably seeing specialist. If no - you really should. I hope that in a few years you will look at this day and think "poor past me, if he/she only knew about all those great thinga that we are going to experience!". Take care of yourself.
Load More Replies... Rosie Red 2 years ago
I also don't want to leave my pets. I adopted them and it's my responsibility to give them a good life.
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
I think it’s Because we have all become so disconnected from each other (social media) that we’ve lost our purpose and tend to live lonely lives. Sometimes to overcome this, we have to force ourselves out of the house and integrate with society again. Volunteering is a great way to do this. Look online at volunteer match for organizations near you. See if that helps. It’s worth a try. Animal shelters are awesome and yet to get cats and dogs ! How awesome is that !
Airt 2 years ago
Sometimes you can have most amazing life and doing great things and still feel horrible because od some stupid chemical inbalance in your brain.
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Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
It's good that concern for their family and friends keeps them safe momentarily, but I do wish they could see a therapist and possibly work towards finding value in themselves again. These feelings are so often associated with major depressive disorder and illnesses like that. They struggle to find value in themselves and the things around them. I hope OP can have some success in getting help.
BoredPanda 2 years ago (edited)
Remember that God loves you more than anything. Don't just make it about your family and friends. Think about yourself too. I may not know what you went through to have an outcome like this, but for the sake of all of us, keep living on. Find good will in existing and find an interest in doing something you may like. Hope this helps.
#17
I'm one of the lucky few with the CCR5-delta-32 mutation. Why is that relevant? It makes me immune to HIV and a handful of other pathogens, most notably the Bubonic Plague.
LoneTomato 2 years ago
It's actually fairly prevalent in the pacific northwest (US) as well as other parts of the world. They even have signs not to hike in certain areas when enough of the rodent population is infected.
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nerdy_british_girl 2 years ago
Weirdly, I physically cannot get Covid-19 or the flu. I’ve had a lot of experiences where my family had both, and I have never gotten it (notably, when I was four I had a bad dream and slept in my mom’s bed. She had the flu the day after and although I was in close contact with her for nine hours, I didn’t have it. Many other examples.)
Dill 2 years ago
Who downvoted you for that?? Honestly, the downvote trolls on here! That's really interesting in my opinion and lucky you! There aren't any negatives with it, are there?
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Marie Dahme 2 years ago
That’s amazing. I’m sure they’re using this information to try to create a vaccine for this. Absolutely incredible.
Lord Rimuru 2 years ago
I am so jealous. You don't have to worry about as much as everyone else
PenguinQueen 2 years ago
Oh wow how do you even find that out? And how did you become immune? Just luck of the DNA draw of something?
Calane E. Vanya 2 years ago (edited)
That kind of DNA examinations are sometimes done by students when learning to do laboratory jobs. So... I know I'm not immune to any kind of HIV. Only a flu can't touch me.
Load More Replies... #18
My mental health has taken a sharp decline in the last year, and my friends and family don’t know about everything I’m trying to deal with (I just crack jokes about it or manically word vomit some things but not everything). Here’s some word vomit for anyone who cares to read (TW: bad mental health):
I think I have PTSD (I get flashes of the worst night of my life, and that happened November, 2021). I can’t touch soft sweaters without damn near having a panic attack. I’m getting intrusive thoughts that tell me I’m bad, worthless, unloved, unworthy of being loved, and all other mean things. I constantly maintain a very high level of anxiety. I overthink everything to the point that I can’t focus on anything else sometimes. I have no motivation to clean, exercise, cook, or do anything else I used to enjoy. I din’t enjoy moments when I feel happy because I feel guilty when I’m happy. I just want to sleep, but I can’t for very long because of my anxiety. My Wellbutrin and propranolol don’t work anymore, not very well anyway. I can’t just walk away and keep walking until I die of hunger or exhaustion because my husband would be sad, and I don’t want my last action on earth to be another bad one. I cry a lot. I couldn’t maintain eye contact with my husband last night because every time I looked at him, I wanted to burst into tears. He hugged me, and I almost burst into tears. I stopped cuddling because I was about to burst into tears. I started keeping a mental health journal, and I have so many more bad days than good. Even the good days are marred by bad stuff. I just lie in bed all day instead of being busy and productive like I used to.
Sorry for the wall of text. I’m just very tired and wanted to holler my problems into the Internet void.
Angela B 2 years ago
I genuinely feel for you. I don't know where you are or who you are but I genuinely ask that you seek professional help. If you are able to find a good doctor and be referred to a Psychiatrist, so that you can get the right support (and/or medication). I am not talking about seeing just any GP that will prescribe a medication and say come back in a month, I am talking a GP that you feel comfortable disclosing what you have disclosed here. I am not trying to patronise you, what you are experiencing is heartbreaking to even read. You may even need to be admitted to a mental health facility, so that you are able to get some support and some clarity. You should not have to exist like this. I am sending every ounce of peace, strength and hope I can dear OP. Please, seek help.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Agreed. You won’t be able to “beat” this by “cheering up”, this is serious and bad stuff, you need real help. That’s what psychiatry is there for, the reason it exists. This isn’t a bad spell, this is a dark, dark place and someone has to hold up a torch so you can find your way out. If OP by some strange chance ever reads this, I mean it. Seek the help that exists, you’re on a bad road and it only leads further into the dark. Don’t keep walking, stop and call for help.
Load More Replies... Disgruntled Pelican 2 years ago
I actually started crying because I feel like I could have written this verbatim. Only difference is I screamed in my car on my way to work this morning so loud and so long that I'm hoarse. Depression and anxiety can to kick rocks.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
Keep hollerng, were all listening, and a surprising number of us care! Seriously!
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
If you need a listening ear, please email me… Cactuscupcake72@gmail.com. Just know other pandas are here for you too. Sending lots of hugs.
Splash Bach 2 years ago
The above text is copied from Reddit so OP will probably not see this
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Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
You sound very much like someone I know and love personally. I don't know how to help, but know, if your friends and family are anything like my friend's, they see you, and they struggle along with you, even if they don't know what to say.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
I was in similar situation for years. I've found out that I have really bad vitamin D and B12 deficiency. I've started taking my vitamins and it started getting better after 20-30 days. It's been 6 months now and I feel normal again. I'm not a doctor, just sharing experience, I hope it will help someone.
Mr. L 2 years ago
I just want to know, what kinda s**t happened with a soft sweater to give you panic attacks?
simplyTas 2 years ago
She could have experienced a sexual assault while wearing such sweater, or her attacker wore a soft sweater. When experiencing any traumatic event, practically anything that was present during it, can trigger a panic attack. For years, I would be triggered by a green bottle of Excedrin. My abuser popped them like candy. Anywhere he was, a bottle of it was close by. It no longer triggers my experience but it makes me see his face. For those who don't know, Excedrin is taken for headaches, etc. Like Tylenol, just a different brand of pain reliever.
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3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat 2 years ago
So many internet hugs. It's ok to cry. I can't do anything to fix anything, but I'm willing to listen, and sometimes that helps a lot.
#19
I take a shower with socks on ever so often.
Admiralshallbethejudgeofthat 7 months ago
*baps* I’m no dog, I am the owner.
Load More Replies... Marie Dahme 2 years ago
I can understand if you were in a public shower and gym showers in high school can be gross. But at your home, you shouldn’t need to if you keep your tub/shower clean. Also, pool shoes are better to use in a public shower than soggy wet socks. And on second thought, how are you cleaning between your toes and the bottoms of your feet? You can develop maybe a fungal infection from in between your toes.. moist environment and all. And no exfoliating on the bottoms of your feet. Just sayin.
3 Trash Pandas in a Trenchcoat 2 years ago
This is the most horrifying, unsettling thing on the list, no doubt.
#20
I was emotionally abused by my dad. He died of cancer around 6 years ago, and I felt nothing. I felt bad that he was in so much pain. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. I just remember waking up the day after he died and feeling so oddly at peace when there was no one yelling at me in my doorway. I truly believe his death helped me recover from my eating disorder, and I became so much less suicidal and reclusive after that.
Matias Marczak 2 years ago
Nothing wrong with not mourning anyone, I think. You should not force our feelings, sometimes it takes time, sometimes you just see death in a different way and sometimes the dead was a piece of trash. As***les die too.
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Emily Kerkstra 2 years ago
I wonder if I will get a bit better once my abuser dies? that's hopeful
Luke Branwen 2 years ago
I remember the day my very emotional mom found out her (abusive) father died. Absolutely zero reaction. It was scary, but absolutely understandable. (She was more distraught when Chester Bennington died even though she didn't even like Linkin Park that much.)
Asexual Zelephant 2 years ago
This is so sad. If my dad dies (he has heart disease so it's rly scary) I think I wouldn't be able to be happy ever again. We are so close... and I can't believe that someone could not react at all... but of course I understand if you've been traumatised like that... I hope you're doing ok, and there's nothing wrong with not mourning an abuser like that, even if it's family.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
You can't help how you feel when dealing with feelings towards your abuser are brought to a head. It's healthy that you're at peace now that you know that you won't be abused by this person anymore. I'm very grateful that this natural conclusion has helped recover from your eating disorder and helped you to feel so much less suîcidal. I hope you seek out a therapist to continue helping yourself feel happier with life in general and to improve the quality of the rest of your life.
Aria Gane 2 years ago
I have CPTSD due to the emotional abuse and all-around neglect my mum did to me. I'm longing for my mother's death! Not because I hate her (I undoubtedly do, but the dissociation means I can't feel it), but because the knowledge that she'll never be able to hurt me or find me again would literally heal me! The irony is that I'll likely never find out about it, because I've cut off all contact from her and the people I knew when I was living with her, and have moved to a new place since then (and plan to move again in the future).
Asphalt Bubblegum 2 years ago
I felt exactly the same way after my parents died and it took therapy to finally accept the idea that under the circumstances, it was a lack of hate that was actually the most surprising outcome. When a person has given you little or no reason to feel fondly for them, that's on them, not you.
#21
I talk with myself.
Not the usual "You can do it!" type of s**t.
Literally act like I am 2 people, that are having a conversation.
I called him "G". He is ok.
Silvermidnight 2 years ago
(me from the background) Hellooooooooooooo Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Load More Replies... Alexia 2 years ago
I have also been talking to myself for years, mostly trying to figure out answers, solutions, ways to find the right response to abuse. Sad thing is, I was often isolated by people and labeled as "crazy" and "freak". Oh, well. It was a survival thing. At the time, it was more important than being liked by others.
Bri Lancaster 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that you were trying to find the right response to abuse. Plus I'm sorry that you were often isolated by people. I hope you continue to seek help and please nurture your mind, pamper your mind with knowledge and with positive thoughts🤗💕
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Mabelbabel 2 years ago
There's a concept "Bicameral Mentality" proposed in the 1970s by Julian Jaynes. His theory was that prehistoric humans "heard" separate voices in their brains, and interpreted this as the voice of a supreme being/God, and didn't recognise it as part of themselves as a whole, but as a separate entity, basically a split brain. It's been a long time since I read the book and I'm sure philosophical and psychological/psychiatric theories have moved on, but it was a fascinating read.
Neli 2 years ago
This is actually a sign of good mental health, people who talk to themselves are better at problem solving.
babysitter society 2 years ago
I’m not the only one! I constantly refer to myself as we because me and the person in my head are 2 different people.
MimSorensson 2 years ago (edited)
Yes. This. Continuously. I even write reminders and in my diary/journal as if to someone else; “don’t forget to do x, you forgot last week, get a grip. I don’t want to have to remind you about this again.” But at least I don’t have to explain that to other people; it’s harder to have to tell wondering - sometimes slightly worried - friends and acquaintances that I, actually, am only referring to myself and that I didn’t, in fact, mean the royal “we”. It can get weird sometimes.
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barn owls ️ 2 years ago
me too! sometimes it’s nice to bounce ideas and theories about my favorite stuff with someone!
Brenda 2 years ago
I carry on entire conversations with myself. Mom is always asking who I'm talking to. For me it's like thinking out loud and I do it all the time & always have
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
I do this same thing, i tell people "what better person to talk to then myself?"
#22
I am depressed, I want to off myself, and yet, I seem more or less normal on the outside. I often wonder how many people like me are there, hiding in plain sight.
Clown fish 2 years ago
A lot of people. And then you get nasty snappy people on here having a go at others. Instead of trying to inform and educate. They just go right for calling and shouting
liyanee 2 years ago
A good portion of the entire human population. Each of their suffering, including yours, is valid and to be taken serious. I'd suggest therapy, because depression, while very real, causes your brain to perceive negativity only and there is, a lot of positivity to be experienced and felt in life and you, just like many others, deserve it.
Jane Cortez 2 years ago
The depression is from the pain. You want an end to the pain. That’s what connected the dots for me. Realizing I didn’t want to die, I wanted the pain to go away. Please, get help with a good therapist! It will get better, you can get through it!
cartoon ghosts 2 years ago
Hello!! I talk to 2 people irl about my problems and one of them is my therapist. Still depressed as f**k and suicidal (: also incredibly upbeat and fun usually, when I'm not planning to kms
The_one_on_the_left 2 years ago
I am unfortunately one of these people. Mental health has not been great... ever. Self doubt and anxiety are prevelant. Hugs to OP!
#23
I have 2 lenses in my right eye, so it focuses like binoculars. My doctor wrote a paper about it. Mostly blinded as a baby in my left eye. Dr suspected my right lense split then healed as 2 distinct lenses. Better than 20/20 in my right eye.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
Obviously, this reminds my of my grandpa's funeral. We are not really religious people, except my mom. She insisted her pastor, who never met my grandfather, speak. He gets up there and goes into a 20 minute TED talk about the structures of the eyeball and how wonderful God is to make all those things work together to give us the gift of site. My cousin asks(loudly), "So, he doesn't see that blind guy over there?" The blind guy in question is my mom's friend, a part of her congregation. This is his pastor! I guess he was telling Dave that God didn't love him enough!
nerdy_british_girl 2 years ago
Yes, I have 20/10 vision, meaning that what the average person can see from 10 feet, I can see from 20.
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Annie 1973 2 years ago
If both of my eyes are open I can barely see, if I close my left eye I can see much better through my right eye. Really odd
#24
My daughter was an accident. I was planning on ghosting the guy and both our families and moving to a state where abortion was legal. The only reason I didn’t is because he came home from work early and saw me crying with the pregnancy tests next to me. We’re married now, though. But, I would’ve OD’d on pills again if I hadn’t gotten pregnant. I got clean the second I found out. She’s the absolute light of my life and the only thing that keeps me alive every day.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I'm glad that everything turned around but no one person should be your reason for living. That's a lot of pressure to live up to. I hope she gets some therapy to feel better about herself and life in general. So that she can give her child the best life possible.
#25
My father hit me, sometimes closed fist. He even pointed a gun at my sister and I and threatened to pull the trigger if my mom left him. He’s also a drug addict. That’s not the scary thing about me though. The scary thing about me is that my father is in me and can come out. People think I’m a really nice person and I really try to be a good person, but when I get angry, like really angry, he can come out. This is why I don’t drink or do drugs, I have to stay on top of it. I have the belt that my father liked to hit us with, he wanted me to have it for some reason. I keep it hanging so that I have to always see it and remind myself to keep myself in check.
barn owls ️ 2 years ago
you are a much better person than your dad. you are actually trying to get better, and that instantly makes you different and better than him.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Yep. Automatically. The mere insight of having to stay on top of your anger immediately excludes any possibility that you’re like your father.
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Asphalt Bubblegum 2 years ago (edited)
Hey, the hardest battle any survivor has to fight isn't moving on when the trauma ends. It's actually to break the conditioning to become one of the monsters who bit you. It's a journey that starts with realizing that once you're outside the orbit of the abusers, the choice to become a victim or a survivor is entirely on you. Victims keep refusing self-ownership. Survivors own self and their life so that they can redirect both into becoming what *they* make them. You will need professionally qualified help to reprogram your knee-jerk responses, and anger-management classes are a good start. But therapy can't help if you're not in it to win it. Don't fight this battle alone. I wish you a wholesome recovery.
Dill 2 years ago
Hit the nail on the head. They are frightened they won't break the cycle. They can, but bloody tough on your own.
Load More Replies... Devil'sAdvocate 2 years ago (edited)
burn the belt. BURN IT WITH FIRE. Your father is a terrible person and you don't need any reminders of him. (but that's just my opinion.)
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
It sounds like OP could possibly benefit from some therapy as well. Surely it could help to lessen the reactions that are similar to their father. I hope something like that might be possible for them.
AnnaRachelle 2 years ago
I am not sure looking at that belt hanging there everyday is a good idea..you are a strong decent person
Tushar Roy Mukherjee 2 years ago
He asked you to keep the belt should you ever need it against someone, maybe even him. I'd call that a heartbreaking but wise move.
Anna Ekberg 2 years ago
I would seek help for those issues or someone/something will some day make you explode.
Emily Lynch 2 years ago
Your best revenge is not being like him and nobody gets hurt. Your good, really good! Proud of you!!
#26
I don't usually experience grief when someone dies, unless the death was particularly tragic somehow (really young, suicide, etc.) It's not that I don't love them, I just accept death as a part of life. It's something that happens and it's not something to wallow in for so long.
tHeBoRdEsTpAnDa 2 years ago (edited)
Same, my family all thought I was so selfish when my grandfather died because I didn't cry at his funeral. My grandfather was very possibly the only person in my family who I even liked except my sister and a couple cousins.
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Mabelbabel 2 years ago
My grandmother dropped dead at 84. She'd never been admitted to hospital, she was in good general health and on no medication, she was fully capable of looking after herself, cooking, cleaning etc, completely compos mantis. She'd finished her baking (Thursday was her baking day) and sat down with a cigarette and a bun, and had a massive brain haemorrhage. No pain, no holding on in ICU getting sicker, no suffering or lingering, no developing horrible complications and side effects-just a neat, quick, pain-free death after 84 years of perfect health. You can't mourn a death like that, we'd all choose that way if we could. You can be upset that she passed, but I would have hated to see her linger on unconscious, getting chest infections and urinary tract infections and wasting away-her way was far better and easier to accept.
g90814 2 years ago
My dad was similar. 81 and had (what he thought) a mild cold. Went to sleep in his recliner and didn't wake up. Turns out he had pneumonia and his lungs filled up when he went to sleep. Best way to go.
Load More Replies... Cassidy Moore 2 years ago
Same, when my grandma died I just stood there and like of course I felt sad but I didnt cry. My sister kissed her forehead but I knew it was just an empty body laying there. I didnt want to touch her or anything and it probably came off as insensitive but I feel I think the same way.
cartoon ghosts 2 years ago
Im kinda like this, I don't feel grief in a normal way and idk why. I miss people and there are people who I'd be devastated if they die and it might push me over the edge, but I don't feel actual grief
#27
From ages 6 to 14, I spent all of my time in a pitch black, cold and locked basement, only leaving for school and never letting anyone (outside the family) know.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Heavy, heavy abυse. It happens. Depressingly enough, it happens.
Load More Replies... Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
This is such a pitiful existence for a child. Their parents need to be locked in a cold dark basement with nothing to comfort them and the worst gruel imaginable only enough to sustain life. With the creepiest insects that exist placed in there with them and especially the ones that are known to feed on human tissues. I hope this poor child received the help and care that they needed after suffering at the hands of their family.
Bri Lancaster 2 years ago
It's too bad this person went through that. It's sad to think that sick minded people have authority, in this case it was authority to look after a child.
Sheila Stamey 2 years ago
I'm off the opinion that this kid of child abuse deserves a life sentence, no parole. Preferably with at least a few given, unknowable, unpredictable intervals of similitude in the situation. If not worse. I'm proud of you. You are steel. Keep going!!!
Clown fish 2 years ago
This sounds like the plot of a book series I read! They are called Girl in the box by Robert J Crane.
BetterBitterButter 2 years ago
What was the family doing?? That's a messed up way to let anyone live and they let a child go through that?
#28
Since I was very young (age 9 or 10 I think), I've had thoughts that I was going to die young. The older I got, the age 24 just kept reoccurring. I'll be 24 in a few months. I have appointments for neurologists for a suspected brain tumor coming up. Nothing is certain or set but this all feels very weird.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
This would feel unsettling to me considering the reoccurring thoughts since early childhood, but until imaging is done I definitely wouldn't let myself spin out of control or get too freaked out. There's many symptoms that can and issues that can cause problems that have similarities to symptoms of a brain tumor. There's just no way to know for sure until after the images are done and even then it could be a benign tumor. Hopefully OP will be in the clear and maybe speaking to someone they trust or a counselor would help them feel better about their gloomy thoughts.
MellonCollie 2 years ago
What ius this machine in the picture? It looks like a nightmare having to lie in that head thing!
Domi 2 years ago
It is fixation of the head during radiotherapy so that the treatment is precisely focused.
Load More Replies... crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I've always knows that I'm going to die young, not for any reason, but I've always known that I'm pretty expendable. I'm the definition of NPC- my life dream is literally to be a teacher. If anyone is going to die young, its gonna be me
Rachelle Whitley 2 years ago
I had the same feeling about 60 - that's when my time is going to be up. I'm 55. An ayurvedic astrologer said I'll live to my late 80s based on my natal chart. No one really knows... unless they take their own life.
#29
I inherited a lot of money from my grandmother about 2 years ago that no one in my family knew existed. I still don't know where it came from, her lawyer wouldn't tell me, but it's in the upper 7 figures. My father, her son, got the flat she owned and we all thought that was everything she had. Apparently it wasn't but I havent told anyone about it and I dont plan on doing so either. I just work a normal 8-5 desk job, rent a flat downtown of the City i live in (nothing expensive) and live a normal life on my own. No partner or children, no expensive vacations, I don't even have a car lol. I just don't feel comfortable sharing this secret and the longer I keep it the stranger it would get telling it. TLDR: I'm a millionaire because my grandmother died and no one knows about it. Edit: I'm trying to answer to as many people as possible but as I said I still have a normal job so here are the answers to the most asked questions/Suggestions. 1. What do you want to do with the money? I dont know yet, for now its safe where it is and I will either use it or invest it once I think its time. Maybe in a week, maybe never. 2. Can you give me X amount of money? No, it wouldnt be fair to give it to one person and deny it another. I also dont really care about your tragic stories in my DMs, I read them and just get depressed so please dont. 3. Can I be "in your life"? No I also dont want to adopt you/get to know you or be in a relationship with you (except for big tiddie goth GFs) 4. You have to invest in bitcoin/real estate/stocks/your friendly neighbourhood pyramid scheme! No, f**k off. I know most of you are genuine, nice people but I dont want your advice. If this makes me sound like a douche I'm fine with that, it's just a lot right now. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago (edited)
Good for you. If I ever became rich, no one would ever know. I already live like someone who makes far less money than I make.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
I have come into financial fortune and I'm annoyed that my husband is telling everyone in his family. I'm hoping they forget about it somehow- I hate when people assume things about you like "why don't you get a better car, you can afford it?" BISH you don't know my business. I've talked to him about his openness and I think he understands a little bit better now but I just don't want anyone making assumptions
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Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Idk why I'm actually appalled that people were asking these questions. This really sucks. I'd never ask someone for money, people have no shame ffs.
Lee Banks 2 years ago
Good buddy won a multi-million dollar lottery. I had no idea, until ten years into friendship. They kept their job as a school janitor for twenty years before health reasons took that out of the equation. Sounds like you're being reasonable.
Mimi777 2 years ago
I had no idea one of my good friends was a millionaire. His family had money and he inherited a bunch when they died. He has a ton of land as well. He lives pretty modestly.
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PenguinQueen 2 years ago
This annoys me, what is it about money that makes people think its okay to start harassing someone else and being so rude. This was supposed to be a safe place this panda could share an interesting secret... No other 'secret' on this thread would make people DM the OP with life stories and begging or prying into their 'secret' even more.. This is why the OP probably keeps it a secret!
ibyishimo 2 years ago (edited)
If something like that happened to me, I would immediately figure out how to start programs in the refugee camps I've worked in for years. Yup, I know, you don't need the advice - but it isn't, it's just a dream for me. I wish something like that would happen so I could do something for people living in these miserable situations. For you though, congratulations, and you really are right to keep it secret. It would be a nutso show if other people knew.
Claire the Devils Advocate 2 years ago
No rush, keep the status quo and re evaluate in a year or so. IF you'd like to share with anyone, you can say you won a much smaller amount in a lottery and want to share it with them
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
My husband and I agree that if we came into a windfall like that, we'd keep it to ourselves as well. I don't need the toxic family members I haven't spoken to in years coming out of the woodwork.
#30
A random guy in a bar bit part of my ear off.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
Fun fact, that song was written by Shel Silverstein. The "Where the Sidewalk Ends" poet. Great song, and Johnny Cash was born to sing it.
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#31
I do not actually remember a decent chunk of my life, whenever I talk about most of my childhood I use words that leave room for mistakes and am generally using memories and ideas I've compiled from hearing other people say things about me.
There is actually a large chunks of facts about myself that I only think I know, and don't have personal confirmation of.
SewingStaffy 2 years ago
I have moments like this. I try not to think of my early years as I don't much, except a lot of what I'm told. Strange thing is, I know I had a happy childhood. Unless something serious is being hidden from me, nothing bad ever happened
barn owls ️ 2 years ago
me too! i know my childhood was happy because i lived in a nice area and my family was comfortable. but i still can’t remember it and i feel like something happened and is being hid from me
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scag$y 2 years ago (edited)
This exact same thing happened to me too! I can barely remember a moment of my twenties. An entire decade! People have told me of some thrilling escapades and adventures that I was apparently instrumental in, but I can hardly recall a thing. Those people also said that we drank a lot and there was even some mention of drug abuse. But I'm pretty sure if I was getting THAT smashed all the time, that I'd remember it. Must've bumped my head or something.
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
Nah. I was drunk most of my early 20's and don't remember most of it. (no drugs and not black out drunk) I know I had fun, that's all that matters. LOL
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Bex 2 years ago
Not as uncommon as most people think. Many, many people don't remember much about their childhood, except for the stories/events they hear about from other people or have seen videos or pictures from. And the older you get, the more you forget. Not bc if the aging process, though that is part of it, but bc if we don't think about something for a long time, we actually forget about it. The longer you live, the more memories you have to think of, and the older ones get pushed to the back.
Lara M 2 years ago
Same here. I'm possibly on the spectrum and childhood was stressful enough for me that I escaped into reading and tried to not be "there". My autobiographical memory is very underdeveloped as a result. I've been working on various memory techniques to improve it, and it is helping a lot.
Veronika Bartáková 2 years ago
I have it too. I used to tell stories from my life when I realise in the middle of the story it was just dream... had to make up some believable ending anyway.
Anita Reudy 2 years ago
same with me I can.t remember anything before the age of 8 I had to spend the summer of my second grade with a priest 5 days a week I don't know if anything happened but it is strange come from a big family and memory is really good but nothing before 8 years old
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 2 years ago
I don't remember most of my history. It's all blank, unless i see a photo, then I remember. It's like I need visual cues. So, now I take a LOT of photos. I don't necessarily look through the lens, I just point and click while looking over the top of the phone at the view. Sometimes I can't even see the image on the screen. I live in the moment, but the photos help me remember the past.
#32
I've ripped a mans ear off with my teeth.
Context: Self-defence. The ear rips off the head like paper wear your earmuffs out you never know who's hungry
Red Panda 2 years ago
It was from a previous post, the OP got bit in the ear
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Michael Olsen 2 years ago
Yep, only takes 6 punds of force to rip an ear of. A lot easier than you would think.
#33
Diabetes and high blood pressure and cholesterol (that I’ve had since I was 21) means that I’ll probably die an early death.
Might not be scary and unsettling to you, but it bums the s**t out of me.
Edit; thanks for the kind words everyone. I spent some time on my health, and went from being 230 lbs amd on injectable insulin in my late 20s, to be being 180 lbs and a regular jogger on only some oral meds in my early 30s. I’m now 42 and I’ve backslid, 195 lbs and not jogging. I’m still on only oral meds, no insulin, but my blood pressure, cholesterol, and blood sugar are all creeping up and less poorly controlled. I don’t think I’m going to die tomorrow, but I’m still worried about having a lower standard of living in 20-30 years. So it’s time to put on my big boy pants and get back to work on myself.
Busy Panda 2 years ago
I hope someone reach OP and tell him about Keto diet and Intermittent Fasting. It is good to regulate insulin
Donna Sempek 2 years ago
Retired nurse and certified diabetes educator. Get back on the horse! Should you require insulin again it's not a sign of failure it may just be the best way to control your diabetes.
#34
A third of my body is covered in burn scars.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Seriously. No joke. It does. I don’t know if it’s any consolation but it totally does.
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Brooke R 2 years ago
30% of my body was also burned- 5 months in the burn center- 3 mo home health care- had to re learn to walk- 16 skin grafts later...i feel you!
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Bless, it must be so painful. My heart goes out to you. I hope that you've had support for yourself. Sending thoughts of strength, courage, and gentle hugs to continue your journey.
Dill 2 years ago
The actor Amanda Redman stopped hiding her scars - they are visible in her roles these days. She was scalded with a pan of boiling hot soup as a toddler and suffered burns to 75% of her body. Her arm was the only part of her body permanently affected, but the trauma was so severe that she was pronounced clinically dead on arrival at hospital. Just one example that shows it doesn't have to hold you back.
Detroit Citizen 2 years ago
Scars are our inner strength showing us we can survive "it", whatever it may be
Ronnie Cutshall 2 years ago
Ouch, I can relate to this my left face and shoulder has what look like lighting scars do to a hit and run.
#35
I am a very friendly/nice/happy person trapped in the body of a dull, slow person.
I have bipolar 2, depression, anxiety, adhd, and fibromyalgia. I have had so many different medications over the course of my life that it has literally ruined my brain. Most of my life I have been very friendly and made friends easily enough. Over the last ten years I have been trying to get my various ailments under control using tons of different mediations and mental health treatments. Now I struggle greatly to show any emotion other than a stoic demeanor. I don't laugh often (usually only when I am stoned), I will just call things out as funny and remain straight faced. My memory and cognitive function are compromised. It's a f*****g nightmare to be a completely different person in your head.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago (edited)
I understand the medication part. When I was diagnosed back in the day (when they still called it manic depressive), they stuffed me full of adult dosages of meds. Ruined my brain quick as I was a developing child. I got off everything at 20 or so and never took meds again.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
So heartbreaking. I hope they find a way to break out of this prison and express themselves the way they are inside their head. I hope there's help out there for them.
robman1ok1 Hernandez 2 years ago
I'm sorry for what you're going through. My stepson is bipolar as well.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Dang, I’m sorry. That’s awful. I’m very grateful that my medications do nothing but help me. Similar situation - surprisingly similar - but seemingly with either better balanced medication, or just more blind luck.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 2 years ago
It's rough. I've got an unspecified mood disorder, I'm on the autism spectrum, I've got depression, anxiety, ADHD, fibromyalgia, PTSD and arthritis. 6 concussions have done a lot of damage. Though interestingly enough, one of them uncovered some fond childhood memories. You're not alone, OP
#36
I pooped in my neighbors backyard when I was 8 years old. Just gargoyled under his jungle gym and let loose. This is the first I’ve talked about it in over 20 years…
#37
I just really dont care about people, I have a few friends i like to spend time with but I wouldnt feel anything if these friendships wouldnt last. When anybody i know tries to manipulate me or be toxic in any way i can just cut them off.
a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago (edited)
it’s sort of the same for me. i often question if i truly care about those around me. i think there are a few couple i would miss if they were gone, but not for long. i’m not sure why this is, and i usually feel bad that i can’t bring myself to feel sad if they were to be gone. i don’t think? this is me being fake, i just.. don’t care.
T5n 2 years ago
This is how I am. There are three people on earth that I’d do anything for, then a couple more that I care about to a lesser extent, then everyone else is neutral in my eyes until they have enough of an impact for me to truly care about them more than others. Yes, I realize that it may be a coping mechanism.
Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Do you have a lack of empathy, or just emotional connections? You could have schizoid personality disorder
Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Or, it could also be just emotional detachment and numbing, now that I think about it
Load More Replies... crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm the opposite. I feel like I care too much about everyone.
Amanda Hunter 2 years ago
When I get down to it I don't care about people, I do my family and friends. I do however care a great deal about animals.
Maltaros 2 years ago
From the time I was very young we moved a lot. Nothing shady, just my dad couldn't let grass grow under his feet. I learned very quickly that there was no point in making friends because pretty soon we would be off to Timbuktu (literally) and I would never see or hear from them again. I just don't see the point in making those kinds of connections.
Marvin HoG 2 years ago
I do the same. I got screwed over way too much in my childhood by people who were supposed to help me become a decent functioning adult. So since I was 11 or 12 I started just switching off when people wronged me I've cut several close family members out and recently cut a couple of friends who ended up trying to use me.
Dayna Woodrowski 2 years ago
I have always felt as if I don't belong to the human race, just completely different. I relate to and adore animals, not people. You are not alone...
#38
I honesty barely know myself. Someone asks me about what I do, what I like, etc, and I legitimately have no idea
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
Once you worked all your life never investing in yourself except your job til you become retired or disabled, After that, you don’t really know yourself anymore. Work and overtime essentially takes your whole life til there’s nothing left. Capitalism can be soul sucking.
Nathan Smart 2 years ago
Finding others infinitely more interesting than myself, it causes my past to be ill documented and hardly accessible. But tell me more about your condition?
PenguinQueen 2 years ago
I have no idea what I want to be when I grow up, I'm nearly 30.. All I know is if I am happy with my life in the present moment then I am where I am supposed to be, if I feel off kilter in my life path, then I know I need to make changes. Isnt that the key to life?
PenguinQueen 2 years ago
I realised this when I was asked in an interview years ago 'what do you do in your spare time/hobbies/what makes you happy/why do you want to work here & where do you see yourself in X years time?'
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I know myself very well- I'm a pretty simple guy. My entire personality is cocky and anxious
Seabreeze 2 years ago
I think about this all the time. Ever since I started working at 18, in a professional job, I felt I had to completely change who I was to make the job work. Fast forward 16 years later, still working in the field, then having a baby, I had no idea who I actually was. Ive since started a new profession, and am having another baby so Im going to try and use this as an opportunity to find out ME.
#39
I have an enlarged aortic root. It's very unlikely, but it could spontaneously rupture leading to the medical term *adjusts glasses*... "instantaneous death". I would pass out, bleed to death, and then fall over. Dead before hitting the ground. And it could happen at any time. My wife is very uncomfortable thinking about it lol.
Lolly Gagger 2 years ago
I am guessing that, given the fact they say “It’s very unlikely” that they have had that discussion with their specialist and it has been deemed that the risks of the surgery to fix it outweighs the benefits.
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Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
If possible fix it. But if not that may be the best way to die? No long term pain or suffering?
Debby Keir 2 years ago
I quote How successful is aortic root surgery? How successful is aortic root surgery? Both types of surgery (ARR and VSSR) are successful for most people. Research shows that 10 years after aortic root surgery, 86% to 90% of people don't need another surgery. The risk of reoperation is higher for people who have Marfan syndrome.21 Apr 2022
PenguinQueen 2 years ago
At first I was like 'omg I couldn't cope with that'..... Then I remembered we are all susceptible to instantaneous death by way of other human interaction, our bodily functions failing us, nature related disasters ect ect.....
Shankshaw Redeemer 2 years ago
I'd much rather drop dead than suffer with some incapacitating illness/injury...whatever. I watched my father suffer for two years, but my brother pretty much died instantly in his sleep after a misdiagnosis from a SFB coward who was an ER "doctor."
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Maja Hallin 2 years ago
you should go to your check-ups and get it fixed as soon as they say it has dilated to the extend its operable. I work with there patients and most of the time it just a surgery and 7 days in the hospital and then you are back to your normal life again.
PurpleUnicorn 2 years ago
I know a guy with a cerebral aneurysm. Bodybuilder and weightlifter but can't compete any more. Basically it could rupture and kill him any time. His wife jokes that he's a dead man walking
#40
That I woke up in the middle of surgery and threw a mayo pan at a nurse before they pinned me back down and upped my dosage of sedatives. Key note still had retracters in so I briefly looked like a dead space enemy.
Have spotty memory of it. Sedation is very hit and miss with me. Has happened three times. Once during surgery, once during a nerve burn (never went out just paralyzed for about 3 minutes then started speaking during the procedure), the last was during colonoscopy (seriously painful and asked the doctor if he was an old scout leader he was laughing then asked the nurse if I was within range for another dose of sedative)
Meeliasi 2 years ago
I wonder if OP is ginger. No stab at gingers here, they often require more anesthesia than non-ginger folk and have a high tolerance to pain.
Red McCormick 2 years ago
It is verified medically that red haired individuals routinely require more sedation and/or pain medication. I'm blessed with red hair and came to during 3 procedures so can attest from personal experience.
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Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
This is extremely frightening to me. I've had more than 30 surgeries and this has always been a fear of mine. I feel absolutely horrified for this person. I would never want to experience it. I hope they haven't been traumatized too badly. Wishing them thoughts of strength, courage, and peace on their journey.
Sandra Morison 2 years ago
I need more anesthesia for everything from dental fillings to surgery. Red head, green eyes Scottish with Irish ancestry. Dentists would often not believe the anesthetic had not worked. My brother is the same
Michael Largey 2 years ago
A mayo pan? I was unaware that there are some medical procedures that employ condiments.
Lee Stone 2 years ago
It's a mayo tray. Everything in surgery has a weird name.
Load More Replies... Brenda 2 years ago (edited)
I have an extremely high tolerance for pain meds, muscle relaxers, anesthesia, etc. I metabolize them quickly. My GP has documented it, so when I was about to get oral surgery (removing all teeth) she sent the surgeon copies. I even talked to him about it. Apparently I woke up 3x during surgery. They put you WAY under for this, using ketamine and other very strong medications to keep you under because its incredibly painful. He had to give me 2 extra doses to knock me out and finish. Then I woke up in recovery after only 15 minutes (should have been 30-60). He told us later that he'd never had a patient wake up during this type of surgery. Tried to tell him! Oh, and the Percoset he prescribed for me didn't work! His on call guy was refusing to give me anything else (thinking I'm wanting drugs). ER covered me for the weekend they were able to contact the surgeon (who was not happy with his cover guy who had been told about me.) Anyway, some of us metabolize meds faster.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
Had to be semi awake but under heavy sedation once during a procedure that involved cauterisation of some cardiac tissue. Was very weird to feel the pain and yet not be able to control my speech or emotions. Was very embarrassed to fart while on the table, couldn't do anything about it. So weird to feel pain from the inside of one's heart though.
Seaweed Vibes 2 years ago
Nervous system depressants like marijuana can affact the way anaesthesia works
#41
I sometimes smile and laugh at tragic news/events, especially if I see someone else crying and/or is the barer of bad news.
I hate it, however I think I understand why it happens, it's some sort of trauma defense mechanism because someone is expecting me to feel saddened and to frown.
scag$y 2 years ago
Totally! My wife and mum both... um... I was gonna say 'suffer from it' but somehow, that doesn't seem appropriate considering how they both howl with laughter when I regale them with such hilarities as 'falling down' or 'breaking an ankle'.
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Lynne Hammar 2 years ago
there is actually a medical condition where people laugh and/or cry inappropriately
Debby Keir 2 years ago
Laughter when sad is an autonomic nervous system response. We get so overwhelmed that too many buttons are pushed and the 'wrong' one starts first. Don't worry, it's actually quite normal.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I think it's possible that OP uses it as a trauma defense mechanism, but my first thought was this... Pathological laughter and crying Also called: PBA, pseudobulbar affect Inappropriate involuntary laughing and crying due to a nervous system disorder. This condition is characterized by an involuntary and uncontrollable reaction of laughter or crying that's disproportionate to an event." Per The Mayo Clinic. It would be interesting to know if OP could have something like this disorder.
LillieMean 2 years ago
I've heard it compared to a brain error code or a blue screen of death. Laughing sort of resets the fact that the brain doesn't know how to process the information it receives. This can happen to anyone without any disorders. For example, I giggled in a situation where I was helping a woman who had just had a stroke and she was farting. I will surely be ashamed for the rest of my life that I reacted like this.
Load More Replies... Lola Kassedy 2 years ago
OMG me too! I laughed when my best friends told me her cousin was shot in a school shooting!! I felt like absolute s**t and I wanted to tell her I was so sorry and I didn't mean it but I could stop smiling. It was the worst moment in our relationship. I cant control it. I always feel like s**t when it happens
#42
i can walk in a backbend. it looks demonic
i can do it cuz i have EDS and my connective tissue is basically shreaded chicken
oh and i can pop joints out of socket with little pain
Genericist 2 years ago
Hi fellow zebra! I see a lot of us in this thread! 🦓
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foxgirl158 2 years ago
I can do this, but it’s because it was a skill I was taught at my tumbling class. I agree, it looks super creepy!!
a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago
i just taught myself how to do it. cool party trick, guaranteed to freak a few out :D
Load More Replies... Monica Michelle 2 years ago
Hello fellow zebra but please remind people Not all of us do this without pain. I dislocate fails and it hurts a lot all the time
Bekki Sala 2 years ago
I also have EDS! People freak out whenever I dislocate anything on command
Devil'sAdvocate 2 years ago
SAME! I used to do gymnastics and I can still walk like this. creeps the f***k out of people. but i am a demon so....
all 4 paws 2 years ago
i can pop my shoulders out on command, no pain, my shoulders are a lil weird and they also double jointed
Emptycaketin 2 years ago
I can only pop my shoulders out of joint. It's a good party trick lol
#43
I'm a bilingual illiterate. Can't read in two languages.
Tushar Roy Mukherjee 2 years ago
Hey dude so am I. I speak English,Hindi, and Bengali, but can only read the first two, although Bengali is my Mother Tongue.
PenguinQueen 2 years ago
I get where the jokes are coming from but also feel the OP - speaking is verrry different than spelling and so many languages have different interpretations for gender/tense/symbols/humour/sarcasm/some write right to left/punctuality... 🤯
MDonna Davis (M) 2 years ago
Thank you for the best laugh I've had in months! I live in France and can so relate to your post. I read it, realized I suffer from the same problem,...then just lost it in breathless laughing! Again, thank you.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
According to Ethnologue.com there are 4,169 written languages. Of those, I can read and write in 5 of them. But that means that there are 4,164 languages I am illiterate in. You have 4,169 that you are illiterate in. Not really a big difference when you think about it that way. Anyways, hominids have been around for about 2 million years. Homo sapiens about 200,000 years. But written language has only been around for about 5,500 years. The ability to read and write is very new in our history. It's no wonder our brains just aren't wired for it. It's why there are so many learning disorders concerning the ability to read. We've had numbers longer than we've had letters.
#44
I love going to the dentist. I like that bit of pain when they scrape my teeth and gums.
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
The only part of the dentist I like is the nitrous oxide and the part when I get out of that chair and leave.
Mulberry Juice 2 years ago
Leaving at the end is the best part of the whole appointment
Load More Replies... Grace Noyes 2 years ago
I love going to the dentist too, but I've been lucky in my 61 years to have had very little pain associated with it. I really like the feeling of super clean teeth after a visit.
Beck 2 years ago
I like sticking toothpicks between my teeth til it bleeds. I do it every time I come across a tooth pick. Feels good like a tattoo.
#45
I had 6 toes on each foot at birth and got them cut off you can see the place they cut them at.
Jellicle bat 2 years ago (edited)
This is just a guess but most shoes probably wouldn't fit
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PurpleUnicorn 2 years ago
I went to school with siblings with polydactyly, the extra digits were all amputated. I think the stumps were wierder than the extra digits would have been.
#46
My voice sounds disturbingly like Andrew Tate’s. It’s been grossing me out lately. It’s that weird mix of British and American where it sounds like I’m faking both. (British dad, American mom in my case.)
I’m a woman.
the one panda _ 2 years ago
Geez, i hope the words coming out of her mouth arent like andrew tates!
#47
When people annoy Me I have little fantasies about bashing their faces in with blunt objects and walking away with a smirk on my face, I would never but ya know......
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
Yes?? I could never fantasise about hurting another person. No one deserves pain, no matter how s****y they are. As a s****y person who's been in a ton of pain in my life, no one deserves that
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Marissa Taylor 2 years ago
Soooooo every person on earth ? But blood leaves to much eveidince and ya know heathcare
BewilderedBanana 2 years ago
I think that would only be unsettling if it went from fantasy to reality. And i'm not only saying this coz i have the same thoughts sometimes. Definitely not.
#48
I'm heavily addicted to opioids and have been for nearly a decade. Absolutely nobody in my life knows. When I go without them and have withdrawals, I think about ending it all. I don't even do them for the high, I have legitimate pain and they help massively. The high isn't even much, just makes me feel happier with not being in pain
DC 2 years ago
... so? I don't see any wrong in this. I know withdrawal is worse than bad, and even worse than worser, but a legitimate reason should spare you off of this in any place even remotely civilized. Also, I have the same. The high disappears with the dizzyness within like a week of constant dosage, and ... that's exactly how it is supposed to work, the reason they make them in r****d pills, and, basically, revived me. A constant pain is so ... depressing. Makes you slowly stop doing things ... not abruptly, but over time, having to deal with pain CAN cause you to lose interest in a lot of things, it can even be misdiagnosed for a depression, and maybe evolve into one, too. Nobody should do this to themselves. Opioides aren't bad by any means, they're just highly abusable, but ... but that should never stand in the way of treating actual pain. Their bad reputation, I found to be complete nonsense, unless you mess around far beyond reason. But, if you're not in it for the high anyway...
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
as someone that is like that, dont feel bad, its not your fault for being addicted to them, The dr has you take them, so just take them normally, DO NOT GO WITHOUT THEM, I have been on hardcore ones from the dr for over 20 years, as long as you follow what they say, and do not take too much, DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT, there is a reason you have them and they want you to have them, they have the means to help you not be addicted to them, so they will get you off them when needed till then, just take what is needed, please!
Debby Keir 2 years ago
Opiods for chronic pain don't work. They are for short term relief only. Please look up opiod induced hyperalgesia https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21412369/#:~:text=Opioid%2Dinduced%20hyperalgesia%20(OIH),sensitive%20to%20certain%20painful%20stimuli. Taking opiods long term CAUSES more pain. Please read up about it, because understanding it helps to lessen (and sometimes quit) the addiction.
Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
You're absolutely right. One of the first things I noticed when I was in detox was that my crippling back pain was essentially gone.
Load More Replies... RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
Opioids don't work on my at all. I don't get high, and they don't reduce my pain. They just make me nauseous and constipated. When I have surgery I have to fill out a form that says don't give me morphine. I will just take a prescription dose of ibuprofen instead. It works much better than opioids on me, and it doesn't have the side effects.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
As someone who has chronic pain but no doubt to a much lesser extent, nobody can judge you. Chronic pain is a legitimate reason to take opioids and what you do to make your life bearable is your business. It's sad that in the government's efforts to curb overdose deaths, patients with legitimate needs have had to suffer.
Greenmantle 2 years ago
Please don't beat yourself up. This is a symptom of inadequate pain control, not a personal failing. Please call your GP office or us.
Anxious&Bored Bear 2 years ago
In the US, people in legitimate pain are often denied pain relief options other than pain killers by insurance companies, then are called addicted when the medication no longer works.
bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
Have you been to a pain clinic? Maybe methadone would help.
#49
I went to a GP in agonising pain. I vomited around 20-30 times consecutively on their restroom floor. I was told it was a UTI. Recovered a little. Next day was in more pain and after seeing a couple doctors. I was rushed to hospital for emergency operation on a testicular torsion. I ended up losing one testicle. Spent the night there before returning home. One day later I met the love of my life and never looked back since. But that two days of pain was something nobody should have to go through.
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
This reminds me of a bad school nurse I had, I broke my leg, we managed to get me into the nurse's office, she looked at it, bleeding, bone pokeing out even, and told me to gargle with salt water and leave...... she made me gargle and shoved me out the door {which opened on to the side of a hill that I then rolled down and another teacher found me and called 911}
SH Holmes 2 years ago
Glad that teacher called 911. Did the nurse lose her job? I hope so, she does not seem qualified to be a nurse.
Load More Replies... Wintermute 2 years ago
A fellow member of the one nut club! Similar story, but it happened when I slipped and fell. Apparently the potential for it (torsion) is genetic, cuz my dad had it happen too. It's more common than you think. I guess that's why we evolved two of em!
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Sounds absolutely horrifying for two days but so happy that it had such an amazing ending.
#50
When I was born, I was so premature that my dad, who had quite dainty piano fingers, could slide his wedding ring up my arm to my shoulder. (I weighed 2 lbs, born at 27 weeks).
sky 2 years ago
i was 3lbs and 9oz and i was 10 weeks early and stayed in the hospital for 4 months and also was premature baby
Load More Replies... #51
I don't know if "scary, unsettling" quite fits here, but if I met you 3 years ago and then haven't seen you since then, I will remember your name and several random things you told me. I've had to learn to play dumb and act like I don't remember certain things, because it creeps people the f**k out and gives off a stalkery vibe. Though it is useful when I want to screw with someone.
MaireC 2 years ago
I have the opposite- if I met you 3 hours ago, we're going to be lucky if I can remember your name unless you write it down for me.
Hobby Hopper 2 years ago
Same. And, I'll never recognize you out of context. If I met you at work, you can forget about me recognizing you at the grocery store.
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Alicia M 2 years ago
I am like this too. I have an insanely good memory when it comes to remembering details about people I meet. If we have a conversation, I'm going to remember everything you said and be able to repeat it back to you. I don't have a great memory in other ways. Just conversational stuff. For some reason, my mind remembers verbal encounters. I play dumb too because if I told people everything I remembered about them it would probably creep them out.
Lynne Hammar 2 years ago
I am similar ... a few years back I had a reunion wigh my childhood best friend and was stunned how little she remembered. But it turns out I'm the oddball
Persephone 2 years ago
Omg I'm like that too.. I remember faces, where I met someone, and everything they said... except for their name! I'm awful with names. So I just look like an a*s
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
God I wish. I have terrible memory and it scares the s**t out of me cause my family has a history of dementia. I'm thirteen and I'm scared that I'm going to go insane and die in a few years. It's rare, but it can happen to kids.
Clown fish 2 years ago
I don't remember names but I remember odd info like the builder who comes in my work once a year has 2 sugars and a splash of milk in his coffee. Or my work colleagues favourite foods
#52
I was 1lb 11oz when I was born, born 4 months early. And somehow I’m a fully functioning adult and survived school 🙌🏻
#53
I've considered ending my life far more than my wife knows. Was once a serious option in my life when things got hard and I felt trapped. Sometimes it's just a casual thought. I'm also a very light fun person in social situations, always trying to make people laugh. But I'm actually really depressed and can't stand myself a lot of the time.
Edit 3: Thank you all for you kind words of encouragement. I hope we can all make it through whatever dark times we may find ourselves in.
Edit 2: I have been to therapy and have been on meds in the past. In between therapists right now due to an insurance change. And it's challenging to find another therapist as helpful as my first one.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I hope he continues to reach out and talk as that's very promising and can give them much needed support when they're without their therapist. My heart always hurts so much for people who feel this way because I've been there myself and not been thoroughly honest with my psychologist either, but only concerning that. I was always very thorough in everything else in my treatment. I hope at some point they can share more with their wife so they can have some support for their feelings about this at home. I wish them strength, courage, self love, and success, in all aspects of their life.
#54
I have seen some gnarly s**t in my life. Aftermath of car accidents, VBED, IED, what your face looks like after you accidently bite down on a blasting cap, etc. Pretty much anyway a body can be mutilated, I've seen it first hand or had to sit through briefings on it. I've had to hold people's heads still after they fell off a trailer while they bleed brain juice on to me just to make sure their neck doesn't move.
You might be surprised that I look like a happy go lucky, long haired, mustachioed hippie that enjoys playing Magic the Gathering, and you would never know that sometimes when I look at people I have involuntary, sometimes terrifying, and intrusive thoughts imagining that they look like walking corpses.
I also like pineapple on pizza.
Edit: So the blasting cap story is hard to pin down. Some sources say it was a man in West Virginia that did it on a dare because his buddies were trying to blow up a fish tank. In other sources, especially those that go through medic school, CLS, and other additional school house training, it was a Marine biting down on a blasting cap either in a demonstration or because they were being stupid. While I'd never personally seen that particular event in real life, the images we were shown of that gentleman being treated were grotesque.
all 4 paws 2 years ago
my friend got into a car crash on sunday, life threatening, hes in the hospital rn :(
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I feel so horrible for OP and others, when I think of first responders and hospital staff that have to endure the most horrifying sights and sounds. I know that some don't end up having the ability to cope with what they've seen and I can understand why. I hope that their places of employment care about their mental health care in an appropriate manner. I feel like the need for mental health care must be outstanding and should be treated very with the utmost importance.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
I have seen some grizzly stuff in my life, and it makes watching gory movies impossible for me. I connect to closely with it, and it makes me uncomfortable. I have also had somebody bleed out on me while I held them. It is the most helpless feeling in the world. I am not a medic though, I was not trained for that. Not anything beyond some basic first aid. Apply a tourniquet, things like that. As such it isn't something I have to deal with on a regular basis. I have nothing but admiration for those who do. I had a friend who was a combat medic. He tried being an EMT when he got out, but it was eventually too much for him. Now he is a happy librarian.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that you've had to go through that. I've always had a huge amount of respect for people in medical positions- all of the gory, horrible things that they have to see on a daily basis, knowing full well that they won't be able to save everyone. I could never do that and the people who go through that and manage to come out the other side still alive are hugely impressive. I'm sorry that you've had to be that close to that much death in your life- no one deserves that.
Load More Replies... #55
I was given two weeks to live if I didn't start treatment immediately.
Angela B 2 years ago (edited)
I feel for you and wish you strength and courage. I was (at 6 weeks of age) diagnosed with a form of Cancer (retinoblastoma) that would have killed me in 2 weeks. My Mum was told either they had to remove my right eye and optic nerve, or, I would die. I am 51 now.
Leoninus Fate 2 years ago
yeah.... they gave my sister 2 years , then 2 month then another 4 years and its been 10 years since....
#56
I can ignore being tickled.
Ellie 2 years ago
My SO and I can both do it, they taught me how to do it lol so I use it against them now
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#57
I have type one bipolar woth psychotic symptoms. During manic episodes I have been known to have delusions of grandeur and paranoia. During one such episode I attacked a friend with a butter knife I sharpened while making weapons in my garage so I could be a vigilante. On another occasion a friend and I were out at 2AM and ended up in a quarrel with them over the knife. She grabbed the blade and I pulled it across her hand, cutting her finger to the bone. She has never regained feeling in that finger.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago (edited)
Sounds like they need to stay away from knives before they take someone's life. It couldn't hurt to have some intense therapy or maybe a in house stay after the two knife incidents, but idk that they didn't. If I were their friend I'd be very concerned for my safety and considering taking a break from them for a while. Edited to add: The way they write it so matter of factly and mention no remorse at all, is very concerning to me as well. Most people would mention that they were sorry or if they'd had any feelings at all about something, but nothing from OP...
CrazyCatLady 2 years ago
I don’t think it sounds like they don’t have any remorse
Load More Replies... Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Please, if you can, get help and medication. Manic episodes can be dangerous to yourself and other people.
Persephone 2 years ago
My ex has bipolar 1 with psychotic episodes (paranoia, auditory hallucinations, thinking things are happening that are not, etc.); he assaulted me and could have killed me in front of our 1month old daughter. At least you are honest with yourself. He refuses to believe it and refuses treatment bc he's a narcissist and rationalizes that someone truly did something to him in order to validate his episodes... This is so dangerous, and why he's my ex. I unfortunately still have to live with his selfish and abusive behavior bc we share a daughter... and i now live with PTSD.
Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
I’m so sorry to hear that…please, if you can, get help. I’m not exactly an expert on these kinds of things, but like you can charge him with domestic abuse or something, or maybe get him to lose custody of your daughter because he is unsafe. I know it can be hard to confront them, but it will get better. Also please get therapy and talk about this to someone you trust, you can recover from PTSD. I believe in you and please stay safe.
Load More Replies... Powerful Katrinka 2 years ago
I have bipolar 1 disorder with psychosis as well. I wish more people understood that a manic episode is not just feeling energised or "up" all the time. I've had a random feelings of irritation and rage; terror of my hallucinations (shadow men walking out of walls); and complete dissociation. During my last manic episode, I destroyed myself financially, became permanently estranged from most of my family, and mutilated myself. It's a horrible, horrible disorder.
Tamra 2 years ago
I'm so very sorry, Katrinka. This sounds like a nightmare to deal with. I hope you have some sort of support, just someone you can talk to when you need it.
Load More Replies... Ches Yamada 2 years ago
Delusions of grandeur are common in bipolar folks - I call it the "super person" feeling. You suddenly believe you're the smartest, s3xiest, funniest person alive and can do *anything*. Causes a lot of drama and can even be dangerous if you're not aware it happens (as OP definitely knows). You're aware of the episodes now, and can take back control if you work hard.
Shealeigh Bodde 2 years ago
OP has an uncontrollable mental illness. You are an a*****e.
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#58
Got E.coli poisoning at age 3 and was about to die, slept for 3 whole a*s days after 8 days of bleeding in and out and operations and such - Fact aint really scary or nothing, but I can never get E.coli poisoning again, I'm immune. Edit: Forgot to say, there's also a news article about me, but I probably won't be sharing because of info people on the internet shouldn't have access to
#59
I was the one who pushed over the Faygo vending machine at the IGA in 2006.
Scooter Mcgavin 2 years ago
This person pushed over the Faygo vending machine at the IGA in 2006
Load More Replies... bottomless.abyss.of.bordem 2 years ago
I was the one who shook all the c**p out of the vending machines in the HSS cafeteria 2003-2006. You're welcome.
#60
I can open metal caps glass bottles with my belly button. (Beer bottles).
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
You can be a very valued friend in certain circles, lol. Bringing to mind the Garth Brooks song I've Got Friends In Low Places...🎶
#61
People will just come up to me, unprompted, and tell me about the dark aspects of their life. How their last date groped them. How their parent is dying and they are tired of putting on a brave face. How they got into a loveless marriage because it was economically convenient at the time and now, two kids in, they can't possibly leave. That they REALLY want to have an affair because they never dated before their current marriage. That they are homeless and literally sleeping in their car outside work at night, but 'shhhhh' don't tell anyone. It can be at work, a coffeeshop, at the mechanic, etc. I just do the usual, "Hey, how's I going?" or "What's going on?" or "You good?"
Penny Lost 2 years ago
There is a Korean TV series called Mystic Pop-Up Bar. One of the main characters had an ability like that -- people would just pour their souls out to him, start telling their life stories, etc. Except, he had to touch them. He worked in customer service, so it was a big problem for him. I really liked that show.
Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
That’s so weird! Either people where you live are dealing with a lot of problems and really need to tell someone even if it’s a complete random stranger on the street, or you just give off therapist vibes :)
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I feel this on so many levels. I've had this happen to me I can't count how many times.
Persephone 2 years ago
You have a safe energy... go into counseling or therapy maybe if you like helping
T Lee Mac 2 years ago
Same. I try not to go out too often. Was in the hospital for 2 weeks in December and got told a lot of. Things I didn’t need to hear while dealing with my own health.
Load More Replies... Bri Lancaster 2 years ago
People think this is special, but it isn't. Most people are dying to share extremely personal stuff about themselves and their lives. Countless of people have shared with me stuff like that and I've forgotten a ton of it.
#62
When I was a kid, I used to point scissors at my eyes and run through the house with my eyes closed.
#63
Not really scary, but more unsettling for me. I hooked up with a girl years ago who was cheating on her man, she got pregnant and I’m not allowed to have any contact with the kid even though the other guy isn’t in the picture anymore. I just feel bad for the kid more than anything.
Dre Mosley 2 years ago (edited)
Why not? Just because she said so? You don’t have to just accept that. Fathers have rights too, you just have to put up a fight instead of rolling over.
Argie Smith 2 years ago
DNA doesn't lie. Get a test, but as Scott Crowe pointed out, be careful what you wish for.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
I think if they wanted contact badly enough, they could go to court for a paternity test to see if the child is theirs or not, and if so, set up visitation and child support through the court. My son is going through something similar with his ex girlfriend who cheated on him.
Scott Crowe 2 years ago
But on the other hand, you didn't get stuck with child support payments !
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
On the other hand, maybe he wanted to be involved. I dunno but I don’t think every guy looks at not paying child support and not having anything to do with the kid as dodging a bullet.
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#64
I do my business in the toilet all naked. (Any toilet)
a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago
so just- go into the bathroom, and strip? shirt and all?
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
When my nephew was a toddler, he always took off all his clothes before he pooped. For all I know, he might still be doing it now he’s 19.
#65
I really like when people are upset around me. Not because of me but around me. Coming to me for comfort and such. It's like, yesss they need me. Just gets me on another level
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I wish that was more common. If I had someone to go to when my mental health dipped I think I'd be a lot healthier in general
Load More Replies... Lazy PANda (she/they) 2 years ago
Yeah same I’m the “therapist friend” of the group lol. Just make sure you don’t burden yourself too much with peoples problems, and recognize that your problems are just as important.
crowspectre 2.0 (he/they) 2 years ago
I wish I knew someone like this. I often have huge anxiety attacks and need support but of the two people who I'm close to, one of them has way worse mental health problems and the other is uncomfortable with me needing help from them
#66
My psychologist let it slip that they think I’m a sociopath.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Wonder where you go from there exactly after the cat is out of the bag per sé...
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
I had a psychiatrist tell me that when I was 19 and it f****d me up for a long time. I don't see myself that way at all. I am now (25 years later) in good therapy and now know that no, I am definitely not one. But hearing that, even wrongly, from someone in authority, can set you on a harmful path. I hope this person found better help.
Delta Dawn 2 years ago
They can be wrong. I was given a couple of extremely incorrect diagnoses.
#67
i used to purposefully go for girls who had no dads cause they were easier to manipulate
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
I would ask if you were my brother, but you used the past-tense. He also likes girls 20 years younger than him.
#68
I am the toxic one. This is one of the rarest occasions i’ll accept it and say it out loud. Good question. But I never want to admit that again.
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
If they're acknowledging it, yet doing nothing to change it (as this implies), they they truly are toxic.
Load More Replies... Greenmantle 2 years ago
You're pretty childish based on this and your other comments
Load More Replies... #69
I'm bipolar 1. Only two people in my life know it.
Shine Chisholm 2 years ago
I am, too, and I tell a lot of people. It's a wild ride. Fortunately I have a good cocktail of meds and a solid therapist
#70
I used to spray anthills with hairspray and a lighter as a kid
MrsFettesVette 2 years ago
I think a lot of kids did this. I just used to step on them. I don't even know why, now I feel bad about it. Like they're "just" ants to me, but what if they have families? I don't know what was enjoyable about killing an insect.
MotherofGuineaPigs 2 years ago
Air compressor - blow them across the driveway. The big black ones.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
When I was little in Brazil, there were fire ants at my grandmother's house in the country. When I was maybe 2 or 3, I see these little red bugs scurrying around the pavement, and I decide to start playing with them. I still remember the pain. Those little guys pack one hell of a bite. I don't hate them though, they were just doing their thing, when a dumb giant came and started poking them with his dumb giant fingers.
Load More Replies... #71
I'm not proud of it, but lives have been taken as a result of my work, and I've watched it happen.
Das Auto Frisk 2 years ago
Judgment is hard on this one, an action out of greater good could result in some one killing them self, taking a kid from a drug addict mother or economic reasons debt collectors etc. or he can be a very bad electrician…
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
lil bear bear 2 years ago
I have had 4 suicide attempts and I'm severely depressed. I act super sweet and happy in public to make sure nobody finds out. I feel like an animal, screaming into my pillow, crying, dry-heaving, cutting, killer nightmares, puking up anything I eat. And no one knows
birdhouse 2 years ago
I feel you. I know how, when and where I am going to end my life. I have told no one. I will just disappear and never be found.
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Sky Render 2 years ago
My whole life history is pretty unsettling, but by far the most unsettling is that I went through 41 years of my life never fully realizing that something was really, really messed up with the form of my lower abdomen (genitals way too high, perineum way too large, a**s way too far back, and many others). I was basically conditioned from a young age to ignore it, even the fact that I have two tailbones. And the scariest part is that doctors even to this day act like there's nothing strange going on.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Huh? What on earth for? What kind of doctors do you have?
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Data1001 2 years ago
I can't see that I'd ever take my own life (unless I end up with some horrible incurable disease or something), but I often find myself thinking how much of a relief it would be if the world ended, because then so would all my problems and my anxiety, and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else being sad about it, nor about not having lived up to my full potential -- because everyone and everything would be gone.
Momica98 2 years ago
I have similar thoughts, and it definitely keeps me awake at night.
Load More Replies... a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago
i waited for comments to show up, because even though this is something i have an urge to say i don’t want to publicize it too much. but after about 4 years of consideration, i’ve decided i’m not going to do this anymore. i’ll be gone around spring, and i hope to create something in the meantime to post on bored panda as a thank-you for all of you. i’m currently working on all the- things? for after i’m gone. i’ve honestly started to smile thinking about when it’s time, though i do sometimes wonder about the ones i leave behind. i’m mostly concerned about how my little brother and cousins will handle it, and my two dogs.
simplyTas 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you feel as if this is this is the only option you have for whatever is occurring in your life. Please reconsider and know that you are loved by the family members you mentioned. :(
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Saphira Hambert 2 years ago
I have had really dark urges involving sadism and torture, but I’ve never done anything and I never will. I’d rather kill myself than hurt someone else, but my mind just wants me to. I can’t tell anybody because I’m too scared, and my parents don’t believe in therapy anyways. I feel like a monster and every day I consider ending myself. What if one day I decided to hurt someone?
Bec 2 years ago
Intrusive thoughts are pretty common, know that you are normal
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Mr. Toast 2 years ago
Some of these have made me feel I am not alone in the way I feel. COVID lockdown has touched the boundaries of my mental health,.I re-evaluated a lot of my life and the people in it to the extent I no longer tolerate the harmful however trivial. And the feeling however good your life is and the people in it to just to go off to somewhere remote. See poem The Lake Isle of Innisfree.
Via Hawk 2 years ago
I have symptoms of PTSD and never told my family cuz I'm afraid they'd send me to more therapy. My friends and I call it "not PTSD PTSD" because it is the same thing as PTSD but not traumatic enough to really be PTSD. My dad used to hit me a lot when I lived with him. When I get triggered I kinda just zone/black out
Literal Pigeon 2 years ago
That sounds like actual PTSD, domestic abuse can totally cause PTSD.
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lil bear bear 2 years ago
I have had 4 suicide attempts and I'm severely depressed. I act super sweet and happy in public to make sure nobody finds out. I feel like an animal, screaming into my pillow, crying, dry-heaving, cutting, killer nightmares, puking up anything I eat. And no one knows
birdhouse 2 years ago
I feel you. I know how, when and where I am going to end my life. I have told no one. I will just disappear and never be found.
Load More Replies... Sky Render 2 years ago
My whole life history is pretty unsettling, but by far the most unsettling is that I went through 41 years of my life never fully realizing that something was really, really messed up with the form of my lower abdomen (genitals way too high, perineum way too large, a**s way too far back, and many others). I was basically conditioned from a young age to ignore it, even the fact that I have two tailbones. And the scariest part is that doctors even to this day act like there's nothing strange going on.
MimSorensson 2 years ago
Huh? What on earth for? What kind of doctors do you have?
Load More Replies... Data1001 2 years ago
I can't see that I'd ever take my own life (unless I end up with some horrible incurable disease or something), but I often find myself thinking how much of a relief it would be if the world ended, because then so would all my problems and my anxiety, and I wouldn't have to worry about anyone else being sad about it, nor about not having lived up to my full potential -- because everyone and everything would be gone.
Momica98 2 years ago
I have similar thoughts, and it definitely keeps me awake at night.
Load More Replies... a fruity dream of delusion 2 years ago
i waited for comments to show up, because even though this is something i have an urge to say i don’t want to publicize it too much. but after about 4 years of consideration, i’ve decided i’m not going to do this anymore. i’ll be gone around spring, and i hope to create something in the meantime to post on bored panda as a thank-you for all of you. i’m currently working on all the- things? for after i’m gone. i’ve honestly started to smile thinking about when it’s time, though i do sometimes wonder about the ones i leave behind. i’m mostly concerned about how my little brother and cousins will handle it, and my two dogs.
simplyTas 2 years ago
I am so sorry that you feel as if this is this is the only option you have for whatever is occurring in your life. Please reconsider and know that you are loved by the family members you mentioned. :(
Load More Replies... Saphira Hambert 2 years ago
I have had really dark urges involving sadism and torture, but I’ve never done anything and I never will. I’d rather kill myself than hurt someone else, but my mind just wants me to. I can’t tell anybody because I’m too scared, and my parents don’t believe in therapy anyways. I feel like a monster and every day I consider ending myself. What if one day I decided to hurt someone?
Bec 2 years ago
Intrusive thoughts are pretty common, know that you are normal
Load More Replies... Mr. Toast 2 years ago
Some of these have made me feel I am not alone in the way I feel. COVID lockdown has touched the boundaries of my mental health,.I re-evaluated a lot of my life and the people in it to the extent I no longer tolerate the harmful however trivial. And the feeling however good your life is and the people in it to just to go off to somewhere remote. See poem The Lake Isle of Innisfree.
Via Hawk 2 years ago
I have symptoms of PTSD and never told my family cuz I'm afraid they'd send me to more therapy. My friends and I call it "not PTSD PTSD" because it is the same thing as PTSD but not traumatic enough to really be PTSD. My dad used to hit me a lot when I lived with him. When I get triggered I kinda just zone/black out
Literal Pigeon 2 years ago
That sounds like actual PTSD, domestic abuse can totally cause PTSD.
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