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Someone Asks People To Share The Worst Marriage Advice They’ve Gotten, And They Deliver (30 Tweets)
Marriage, like most relationships, is all about communication, building trust, being vulnerable, and fighting off hordes of orcs back-to-back on a mountaintop. Or is that just us? But like childcare, politics, and the weather, everybody seems to have an opinion about marriage. What works. What doesn’t. What you should strive to do.
Unfortunately, a lot of that advice is absolutely bogus, as sociologist Samuel Perry from the University of Oklahoma drew attention to on Twitter. The scholar asked social media users to share the very worst marriage advice they’ve ever gotten and kicked things off with an example of his own about how couples should supposedly not go to bed angry.
Check out some of the best tweets below, upvote the ‘advice’ that you think is absolutely ridiculous, and share your own pearls of wisdom about marriage in the comment section below. And remember—happy panda, happy life!
Image credits: socofthesacred
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#8
Vicky Z 5 years ago
Exactly! And there is no "helping" the wife with the housework! You don't "help", you share chores that you are both supposed to do!
Daniel (ShadowDrakken) 5 years ago
I disagree. I help her and she helps me. We both help support each other in any ways we can.
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Martin Kaine 5 years ago
"Men's chores?" The last time I checked, being a man meant providing for a family.......providing clean clothes (shopping, laundry), providing meals (grocery shopping, cooking), providing care (doctor's visits, sick days with kids), providing adequate shelter (house cleaning/repairs), and so on. I can't have babies, but I can sure as hell do everything else.
Alexandra Davis 5 years ago
Jobs also interchange. Like when I was younger my dad worked away so mum, who didn't work, did all the jobs and childcare. So when dad was home we got to have family time. Then when dad got a different job and worked close to home and mum worked, they did the chores equally. Now dad doesn't work but mum does, dad does all the jobs at home so when mum is home, they get to spend together (sister and I moved out)
A Head 5 years ago
I do all of the lawn mowing and such, because I like it, and I can listen to podcasts uninterrupted. I also do dishes, laundry, and most of the cooking. My wife and kids do yard work like planting and plant care, dishes, laundry and some of the cooking. It's called being a family. I was also a stay-at-home dad for 4-5 years.
CatWoman312 5 years ago
It takes two people to make a kid so it should take two people to raise one
Donkey boi 5 years ago
I will not let my wife anywhere near the kitchen, that's asking for disaster! I'd hold a nail and trust her to hit it with a hammer though!
Lunaofthenest 5 years ago
You both live there, you're both parents, you both manage that responsibility. My hubby works more hours outside the home than I do but if I'm sick or overwhelmed he's right there, picking up the slack. Granted, it took us 20 years to find this balance because he was raised in a house where the men didn't do anything besides make the messes.
chrissy goodman 5 years ago
me and my husband do everything together only things i dont do is taking out the trash and lawn work. mainly bc i have bad knees so physical work isnt good for me and the fact im allergic to bees and my husband freaks out if i try to plant flowers lol
Jano Kaiser 5 years ago
This is why I like being a married gay man. Hub does the grocery shopping mostly and I cook it up mostly. We both do laundry and housekeeping. I do the painting, electrical, drywall, and plumbing work (within my capacity) and he does the decorative gardening. We've just fallen into our wheelhouses.
Maddie Star ⭐ 5 years ago
I'm so old fashioned, I'm NOW a stay at home mum and I love it. I have an amazing husband who would give me the world if he could. I do the "Women's work" and he the "Man's work" the house is clean, Home cooked food is on the table when he walks in. our child is happy and we spend all our free time together. I used to manage two practices 50+ hours a week our family suffered. we have an amazing partnership.
Sista of the moon 5 years ago
Good on you. That sounds like my absolute dream. I’m so jealous right now
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Susan Egan 5 years ago
My mother broke that rule from the start. Neighbors would tell her she shouldn't mow the lawn or shovel the snow etc. This was in the 50's. Our dad commuted to work, so not only did she do yard work, when her two daughters were big enough we did it too. She didn't think it was right that he should have to spend the weekend doing chores after working all week long. Nor should he have to face a driveway deep in snow when we could shovel it out. I've never believed in dividing chores, thankfully neither does my husband.
#9
Beck(formerly Becca/Gizmo sq) 5 years ago
So THIS is how marriage works. No wonder I am getting a divorce.
#10
#11
Don't Look 5 years ago
I'm so tired of the holy matrimony and sacred crap with marriage. Marriage is a legal issue. You want to involve the church? Good on you! My experience has been that the church has no place in marriage.
#12
#13
Vicky Z 5 years ago (edited)
In some cases i think it's true not always of course! Edit: I'm referring to misogynist cultures that don't respect human rights of course! i just didn't want to be more specific cause i didn't want anyone to be offended! But these cultures in a marriage are always a deal breaker!
#22
BlahBlahBlackSheepah 5 years ago
Being a decent person will def get you sum more than being a bum.
#28
WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago
No one is perfect. The secret is to love someone with their imperfections instead of despite their imperfections.
#30
Kevin Donegan 5 years ago
I grew up in Montana. I stayed with my best college friend on their 50,000 acre cattle ranch regularly. Every night my friend's mother would come downstairs just to say goodnight. She looked like she was attending an Oscar awards performance (the hair and makeup). I asked my friend, "Why does your mom put on makeup and do her hair before going to bed?" My friend said, "My mom just wants to look nice for my dad." They were married for 70 years and sold the ranch ranch for $24,000,000. They're happy.
#35
Julia King 5 years ago
Arguments that end with a discussion with equal input from both people = healthy relationship Arguments that end in fighting and screaming = unhealthy, possibly toxic relationship
#37
CalicoKitty 5 years ago
"Our marriage is best described by hellish screaming. But. Consider. What if... we added MORE screaming? And bills? And-"
#38
Aunt Messy 5 years ago
Yeah...for 34 years, my husband has been out of town from Monday toThursday or Friday for 48 weeks of the year. I would have seen more of him if he'd been in the military. We're happy as clams.
#39
Pezor Zass 5 years ago
i've usually had more female friends than male friends and i have lost girlfriends over it. it's sad that people think non-romantic/sexual love is impossible in that way
#40
If I could I would live under water 5 years ago
Wrong, don't cut off the branch you're sitting on 😁
#42
#44
Dahungryfella 5 years ago
That is psychotic! Clearly he did not have your best interest at heart.
#49
Jenifer Riggs 5 years ago
People are not objects to be possessed, two people together should mutually respect each others boundaries regardless of marital status.
#50
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat 5 years ago
The sponsor asking what she did wrong when she was explaining how she had been abused is complete bullshit. Even if she is an alcoholic that doesn't give him the right to cheat on her and abuse her.
#52
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago (edited)
Aww, I know they are supposed to sound tacky but they actually sound kinda adorable.
#53
#55
King Joffrey 5 years ago
Yes, we're all broken but we can be "scratch on the surface" broken or "head-on car crash" broken and if it's the latter, I'd be really hesitant about marrying such a person.
#58
Nikki Sevven 5 years ago
The older generations had strict ideas of what was "adult" and what was "childish." When I was 45, my mom told me she'd never consider me to be an adult until I cut my waist-length hair short. Sorry, what? I own a house (which I bought by myself). I raised a child (also by myself after ex-hubby bailed). I'm pretty sure I'm an adult.
#60
Dillon Hughes 5 years ago
Blind lead the blind. This will just make you abusive or at least a worse person
#62
Two Silly Pups 5 years ago
As this says, life is hard work, my marriage is the place I go to recover from it
#63
Susan Egan 5 years ago
I've been part of a playgroup for years. Some of us still meet even though our kids are past college age now. Our main group is three women and one man. It's varied and changed but the center has always had an at home dad. He's a great friend. When we can get all our spouses together and the kids we have a lot of fun. Our core is solid and I don't think any of our spouses are worried or ever worried. Other than wondering how we can talk for hours about anything and nothing and then call it a good time.
#64
Amanda Reicha 5 years ago
My husband and I were 31 when we got married. We met when we were 12, dated at 14, lost touch with each other until 29. Yes, we met young. No it wasn't get married right away. He'd thought that he'd married too young with his first wife. They divorced when they were 26.
#65
Nia Loves Art 5 years ago
Making your spouse happy does NOT mean sacrificing your own happiness.
#66
#68
Jade Lynn - Panda's Brat 5 years ago
He doesn't want to do the bills... so no I won't let him do the bills lol.
#71
Lorelai Purvis 5 years ago
🎶it's nooooot sometimes🎶 🎶cause sometimes your partner is abusive or something🎶 🎶so sometimes marriage is not forever🎶 🎶so whoever said that is an idiot🎶
#72
Dillon Hughes 5 years ago
Obligations are only dictated by those involved. Sex food clothes it's for them to discuss.
#74
Curry on... 5 years ago
So, don't let your partner know that you're human with normal bodily functions? What'd he marry? A unicorn?
#75
#77
Noemie Houtekie-N'Da 5 years ago
It depends on the religion, Christianity, you don't have too. Not exactly sure about the others.
#78
Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 5 years ago
I'm actually doing this because it's my choice. There's nothing wrong with waiting and there's nothing wrong with not waiting. It depends on the person.
#82
Pezor Zass 5 years ago
this should be much more highly rated as bad advice. It's all about outdated rigid roles that barely ever made sense or were reflected in reality. The best advice on anything is "Be a good person"
#83
Allan Breum 5 years ago
Thats great advice... If you're dealing with a self-centered egotist/narcissist.
#84
#85
Amanda Reicha 5 years ago
Uh, well shoot. The closest person to being spiritual does yoga for fun. Guess I missed that one.
#86
Allan Breum 5 years ago
Yes! Do some blood sacrifices, perhaps some Auguries. Hell, maybe even a drugfueled orgy! (They never specified Which religion it should be from.) 😁
#87
Dillon Hughes 5 years ago
Your spouses feelings should be of utmost importance! Yes touching dose help the mind! Get the biggest bed comfortably same difference. This is a stupid post.
#92
Allan Breum 5 years ago
When ever someone say that, just answer: "Nah, I'm not hungry." Tends to shut them up.
#93
#94
#95
Dillon Hughes 5 years ago
Yes, give your spouse all of you, make them happy and they do the same! Though I believe it's better to say give %90 and take %10. Everyone needs me time ya know
#97
King Joffrey 5 years ago
I still think this is pretty sound advice, obviously not for people with fertility issues.
#98
Amanda Reicha 5 years ago
That completely depends on how you feel about the one they are telling you to hold onto.
#101
#103
King Joffrey 5 years ago
My wife is also my best friend - nothing wrong with that. I certainly have other friends as well but I can't see what's wrong with my wife being my 'bestie'.
#105
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What do you think ?
Patti Vance 5 years ago
that one about the separate beds meaning that the marriage was over: my aunt and uncle always had separate beds. as a kid, didn't really understand it was about their conservative faith. but, they had quite a few kids. as an older teen i asked her about it one day. her response: every night, ira throws his hat to me. sometimes i throw it back; other times i bring it back.
Aliquid A 5 years ago (edited)
I actually agree with the "never go to bed angry" one. I will *not* sleep if I go to bed angry. I won't be able to "turn my mind off" and fall asleep, I will lie awake fretting all night long. Then in the morning, I will be overtired and cranky.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
My fix is to write it all out on paper, say anything you please on paper. This frees your mind for rest. The paper will be harsh in daylight and I'll delete it.
Load More Replies...
Lisbeth Guz 5 years ago
Ohhh I know a priest (Catholic) that used to say to future brides "He's going to cheat, and you must forgive him because that's your duty as a Christian".
Mary Peace 5 years ago
I'm a Christian, and the priest was wrong. "You shall not commit adultery." I'm divorced, but I believe my husband was faithful. We divorced for other reasons.
Load More Replies...
judy baker 5 years ago
My husband and I have been married 39 years. Most issues between couples can be worked out with a little bit of effort on both sides. In the scheme of things very few things are really that big of a deal. As long as there no big issues such as abuse, etc. most problems have a solution. The key is cooperation and commitment. You will never agree on everything but compromise is an important tool.
sTeALtHy 5 years ago (edited)
*Small tip that works for me personally* If you got into an argument with someone, first of all try and talk to the person your angry with BUT, if that doesn't work/you just want to have some alone time to think and stuff, I like to imagine that i am a celebrity in a tell-all interview on a talk show. If it seems like a kinda big problem, then that needs to be addressed. But if it seems like a really stupid and tiny thing to be "confessing" then you might want to apologize. Personally it helps me vent to myself and process what happened.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Lol I love this. Gonna try it out sometime. Thanks!
Load More Replies... Isabel Frost 5 years ago
What I'm getting from this is you're both equal, what works for some people might not work for others, and COMMUNICATE!
Elizabeth Molloy 5 years ago
We never go to sleep on an argument BECAUSE we've know two people who were in their 30s and healthy who simply never woke up one day.
abby smink 5 years ago
That you have to stick it out, no matter what. No matter how hard you have to try. No. Sometimes things just don't work, and people change. Sometimes you try and try for years just to get nowhere. Sometimes you just can't anymore.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Don’t get married if you want a way out of your contract just because you “changed.” Too many people don’t understand the bond of marriage. You need to talk to Bettie Jean down there.
Load More Replies...
pusheen buttercup 5 years ago
The best advice I can give is try to love yourself first, and once you do the odds of healthier relationships may increase.
Virgil Sanders 5 years ago
why do people give such awful advice? why do people say and do such stupid things? why are people so stupid?
kerry linda 4 years ago
I am here to give testimony on how this powerful spell caster called Dr Ibrahim helped me to fix my relationship. I was heartbroken when my fiance told me he is no longer interested in marrying me because he was having an affair with the other woman where he works. I cried and sobbed every day,until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help, that was when i read a review about the great work of Dr Ibrahim, then i contacted him for help to get my lover back, he helped me cast a powerful (reconciliation love spell) and to my greatest surprise after 48 hours of doing the love spell my Fiance came back on his knees begging me to forgive him We are now living happily and all thanks goes to Dr Ibrahim for helping me save my relationship you can contact Dr Ibrahim through his Email dribrahimspellcaster@gmail.com Call or Whatsapp +2349038450264 Contact him for the following: 1)If you want your ex back. 2)If you want a child. 3) You want to make your husband/wife to be
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
That’s terrible advice lol. Maybe commitment isn’t your thing though. Which is fine. But not good advice for those who do like commitment.
Load More Replies... Patti Vance 5 years ago
that one about the separate beds meaning that the marriage was over: my aunt and uncle always had separate beds. as a kid, didn't really understand it was about their conservative faith. but, they had quite a few kids. as an older teen i asked her about it one day. her response: every night, ira throws his hat to me. sometimes i throw it back; other times i bring it back.
Aliquid A 5 years ago (edited)
I actually agree with the "never go to bed angry" one. I will *not* sleep if I go to bed angry. I won't be able to "turn my mind off" and fall asleep, I will lie awake fretting all night long. Then in the morning, I will be overtired and cranky.
Jane Alexander 5 years ago
My fix is to write it all out on paper, say anything you please on paper. This frees your mind for rest. The paper will be harsh in daylight and I'll delete it.
Load More Replies... Lisbeth Guz 5 years ago
Ohhh I know a priest (Catholic) that used to say to future brides "He's going to cheat, and you must forgive him because that's your duty as a Christian".
Mary Peace 5 years ago
I'm a Christian, and the priest was wrong. "You shall not commit adultery." I'm divorced, but I believe my husband was faithful. We divorced for other reasons.
Load More Replies... judy baker 5 years ago
My husband and I have been married 39 years. Most issues between couples can be worked out with a little bit of effort on both sides. In the scheme of things very few things are really that big of a deal. As long as there no big issues such as abuse, etc. most problems have a solution. The key is cooperation and commitment. You will never agree on everything but compromise is an important tool.
sTeALtHy 5 years ago (edited)
*Small tip that works for me personally* If you got into an argument with someone, first of all try and talk to the person your angry with BUT, if that doesn't work/you just want to have some alone time to think and stuff, I like to imagine that i am a celebrity in a tell-all interview on a talk show. If it seems like a kinda big problem, then that needs to be addressed. But if it seems like a really stupid and tiny thing to be "confessing" then you might want to apologize. Personally it helps me vent to myself and process what happened.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Lol I love this. Gonna try it out sometime. Thanks!
Load More Replies... Isabel Frost 5 years ago
What I'm getting from this is you're both equal, what works for some people might not work for others, and COMMUNICATE!
Elizabeth Molloy 5 years ago
We never go to sleep on an argument BECAUSE we've know two people who were in their 30s and healthy who simply never woke up one day.
abby smink 5 years ago
That you have to stick it out, no matter what. No matter how hard you have to try. No. Sometimes things just don't work, and people change. Sometimes you try and try for years just to get nowhere. Sometimes you just can't anymore.
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
Don’t get married if you want a way out of your contract just because you “changed.” Too many people don’t understand the bond of marriage. You need to talk to Bettie Jean down there.
Load More Replies... pusheen buttercup 5 years ago
The best advice I can give is try to love yourself first, and once you do the odds of healthier relationships may increase.
Virgil Sanders 5 years ago
why do people give such awful advice? why do people say and do such stupid things? why are people so stupid?
kerry linda 4 years ago
I am here to give testimony on how this powerful spell caster called Dr Ibrahim helped me to fix my relationship. I was heartbroken when my fiance told me he is no longer interested in marrying me because he was having an affair with the other woman where he works. I cried and sobbed every day,until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help, that was when i read a review about the great work of Dr Ibrahim, then i contacted him for help to get my lover back, he helped me cast a powerful (reconciliation love spell) and to my greatest surprise after 48 hours of doing the love spell my Fiance came back on his knees begging me to forgive him We are now living happily and all thanks goes to Dr Ibrahim for helping me save my relationship you can contact Dr Ibrahim through his Email dribrahimspellcaster@gmail.com Call or Whatsapp +2349038450264 Contact him for the following: 1)If you want your ex back. 2)If you want a child. 3) You want to make your husband/wife to be
Mewton’s Third Paw 5 years ago
That’s terrible advice lol. Maybe commitment isn’t your thing though. Which is fine. But not good advice for those who do like commitment.
Load More Replies...
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