35 People Share The Most Surprising Things They Learned From Getting Divorced

pug nose curly tail

pug nose curly tail

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Living this right now and i LOVE IT!

I adore living alone and have done so all my adult life apart from three years. The most wonderful thing in the world for me 😊

Same. I sometimes miss a partner, but I love my freedom as well. Of there is going to be another relationship, it will be LAT. So we each keep our own place.

This.

Having lost my wife of 48 years after a lengthy illness, I can say I would gladly trade my new independence for just one more day with her.

It's often a sobering realization that people can change in ways we never anticipated.

Sometimes, it's the exact same person. You just turned a blind eye to all the things that bothered you thinking they'll magically go away.

We need to stop normalizing getting married so young. I don’t know anyone who went from 20 to 40 without changing in some pretty fundamental ways. Yet people think they’re failing if they aren’t married with kids by 30. At that point you’re just gambling that you’re adult selves are going to be compatible.

Sooooooooooooo true!!!! Also, the person you divorce can show you sides of the person you married that you never knew existed.

Me ex and I were. We are still great friends. Which is how we began.

Was deeply heartbroken for longer than I would've liked, but the relief arrived and has lasted much longer than the heartache. Time heals, but it takes, um, time.

I was never officially married, just common-law. But when I broke up a 9 year relationship with my common-law husband (boyfriend, you could also say) that we had a kid together, the hardest part was telling our daughter her dad wasn't going to live with us anymore, and dealing with his parents coming in to pick up his stuff, very aggressively and loud to the point I took my daughter out to eat because it was upsetting her even more. Once we got back they were all gone. I checked everywhere to see what exactly they took. Nothing that was mine, thankfully. I thought I was going to be all sad but I was elated and put on some Mika. It wasn't long that my kid felt relieved, too. She would rather have a happy mom than sad mom.

I was so done by the time I left that I didn't cry at all. It was sweet relief.

“It’s amazing what you can accomplish when you don’t care who gets the credit.”

So he was pissed that the four women weren't his slaves. Got it.

There shouldn’t be any their job/ my job in marriage. If something needs done and you have the time, do it. Just because my wife normally does the laundry doesn’t mean it’s her job. If im home and have the time I do it. Treat it as a partnership in a mutually successful enterprise. If I get that thing done my wife may have more time to relax later and she does the same for me. If she’s been extra busy at work I try to get more done to give her some relief and during the summer while I work outside in the desert heat she does things like my laundry because im exhausted a lot. Do for each other instead of worrying who’s doing more.

I could finally write whatever I wanted.

Or text whoever I wanted without constantly having to justify it.

Idem... Not divorced yet but so relieved and much more energy when he's not home.

Yup. Same here ❤️

The worst feeling

That really tells you all you need to know

Wonder if my ex thought I was cruel for kicking him out after his dozenth time cheating on me?

I was and still i m shocked and heartbroken, because i never believed him when he said that if i leave him, i would never see my son again. I did and he made sure that my son, who i raised for 13 years on my own, hasn't spoken to me in 2 years. I text and call him weekly and i won't give up until he does.

Both my parents are each twice divorced (once from each other, and each from a 2nd marriage). I applaud and am proud my mom eventually stood up for herself each time. Not so much for my dad for cheating on mom. His 2nd divorce was from my ex-stepmom cheating. He was livid about it, but still mad at my mom for divorcing him. Hypocrite.

I cannot begin to find the vocabulary to express how much I wish my parents had divorced YEARS EARLIER than they did. I swear, my Daddy is perfect except he has terrible taste in women. Hell, I'd wish they'd never met except I adore my younger sister.

Same, I spent a long time in a very unhappy marriage (tbf, by the end we could be both be awful to each other, i just no longer found his manchild attitude as sweet and endearing after 10yrs being HIS mum!) - I stayed "for the kids" until I realised how they were learning what couples should be from us, and i did not want any of my kids growing up and being miserable like I was (amongst other things). Once it was just me and the kids, we all started laughing more, no one hid at loud noises/words, I was so much more relaxed and definitely a better parent, I even dropped 3 dress sizes because we were eating properly and getting out more. Sometimes the best thing FOR your kids, is for you NOT to be with the other parent. It is better to coparent with someone you tolerate, than live in hostility until you despise the other.

I wish I could have made my mother realize this. I love my parents but they should not be together. Now they are just together out of habit but they are so cruel to each other. I think they both could have had better lives if they had gotten divorce years ago.

Awww ❤️❤️❤️

Being financially independent is so important.... I have a financially dependent spouse and it sucks

My career skyrocketed after my divorce! Same for my mental health.

i feel this so much. hope you've found and now love your self worth 🤍

🤣🤣🤣 that's the best part

Cheers for the Doritos!

This. 😕

Sometimes it takes a long time to recover and find a new you.

Lotekguy

Lotekguy

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The pain isn't from the loss of the marriage you had. It's the loss of the marriage you thought you'd create by hanging in there and working on yourself and the relationship.

Too true!

Sure sounds like it!

The constant resistance to everything...!!!!!!!

yes!!!! The silence is golden as is the music I play whenever and wherever I want in my home.

Two things - you never know what goes on behind closed doors, so don't judge - second: - I had my own covert who become malignant after heart surgery (apparently realising their own mortality can trigger this), now as strange as this is going to sound it helped when I heard - 'if they're charming out there and cruel behind doors, they know what they're doing' (because they're turning if 'off' and 'on' at will )- OMG!!!! seriously?! I'd always thought that he gave his best to everyone else and his worst to us but it still never clicked how deliberate it all was - I don't know why knowing this makes it better (?) it seems as though it should make it worse but it doesn't.

Sometimes it takes a long time to realize it's them and not you. There's no shame in that. Don't think about the "wasted" years but look to the years to come that you can enjoy life.

This! I lived with this for 15 years