Psychologists think we tend to ignore red flags because we simply don’t want to be right. Falling in love can really mess up our minds, and turning a blind eye to behavior that’s obviously not right is one way. After all, finding someone you truly like is like winning the lottery these days, but no matter how much we’d want to fall in love, some glaring signs indicate we may be better off without them.
Examples of Red Flags (Funny But True)
When X user Lauren Chanel (formerly of Twitter) asked, “What’s a simple red flag that has never failed you? Something small like a person quoting 48 Laws of Power”—it struck a chord with many people.
The illuminating replies started pouring in, and they definitely shed light on what to be cautious about in our love interests. You might find some of the biggest red flags in a guy funny at first glance, but they actually reveal what kind of a person they are. From people who say they hate animals to “littering,” some things may look basic or funny at first, but when you really think about it…
Whether you find the biggest red flags in a girl funny or not, the following compilation may save you from taking the wrong step. By the way, this isn't just a collection of funny red flags for girls; it includes funny red flags for guys, too!
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Took a woman on a date years ago who did that. Had our waitress constantly attending our table, you could tell she got off on having a "servant." It was a major turnoff. Didn't go out with her again after that.
I have always wondered why people think that it is alright to say that they hate cats. The general response would be "Yeah, I get it. Cats are assholes." If you say you hate a dog, then the whole world is against you. "How dare you hate a dog? What sort of sub-human are you?" To cat-haters: what in the world did a cat ever do to you? So, yes, I'd run far, far away from someone who would harm a cat, or any animal, really.
Harming animals just to harm them is a sign of psychopathic behaviour, as far as I know.
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children who badly hurt animals, is a well-known indicator of later criminal behavior
I think it's mostly an indicator that there's something wrong with the child. Sure, it could end up criminal but it's definitely not the norm for children to be cruel to animals. So if they are - better take a CLOSE look at the family-life
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Anyone who abuses any animals is a HUGE red flag. You can tell a lot about someone by how they treat animals and plants.
Regardless of chromosome status, if someone would hurt an animal "for fun" or "beacuse it bugs me"? RUN FROM THAT SOMEONE.
I can understand people that don't like cats, I can understand people that don't like dogs, I can even understand people that just don't like pets in general, that's fine it's your preference and it's fine. However, not liking something and hating something to the point that you're willing to harm and torture it are two completely different things
There's something deeply, creepily Freudian about guys who hate cats. I'm not saying, "Oh, not a cat person." I'm saying, HATES cats. I had a boyfriend who taught me this lesson. I was bottle raising an orphan kitten and he'd "joke" about torturing her. I told him to stop. He did the whole, "What's the matter, it's a joke, don't you like jokes?" "Yeah, I'm dating you, aren't I?" Note: His "jokes" were sadistic. I set a boundary, and he refused to respect it. I made a joke about him. He didn't like it. I gave him one last chance, by re-asserting my boundary, and he refused to respect it and me, so I dumped him. And before the trolls start whining, it's like, All he had to do is not be a screaming A$$HOLE. All he had to do was go, shrug, 'sure, whatever.' But this was not the only boundary he didn't respect, either. The kitty was with me 10 years, before she made my mom fall in love with her and Mom refused to give her back.
I think i would have been even quicker to kick this awful person to the kerb.
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im a cat person and i still like dogs, but a lot of dog people are like "i hate cats theyre the devils animal" etc etc but if i said something like that about dogs they would get upset
To be fair I have come across the opposite. Anyone who is wildly pro of one and wildly anti of the other comes across as odd to me.
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Even if they wouldn't happily harm one. They talk about how much they hate them and how awful they are. They tend to be selfish, self-centered people who are incapable of interacting with an animal that hasn't been bred to worship them.
Any animal really. Someone who hates any type of animal is someone I would rather avoid.
When I mention to people that i"m super allergic to cats (though I desperately want one), it's always 'Yeah, cat allergies are the worst!' Tell them I'm also super allergic to dogs, they treat me like I've just gravely insulted 3 generations of their family. I'm not even talking about the people who then proceed to explain my allergy to me or state their dog is 'hypoallergenic.' That sound you hear is the grinding of my molars against each other.
Got to be honest, and no disrespect, but what does 'super allergic' mean in this context? Genuine query and not a criticism. My sister is allergic and gets a bad reaction - blocked nose, streaming itchy sore eyes but not a dangerous reaction. She won't go into anaphylaxis because of her allergy to dogs and medication helps her - as does washing my dogs before she visits me as it removes a great deal of dander. Also, completely agree that no dog is genuinely hypoallergenic. Some breeds have coats that shed less and there is less dander in the air so the allergy can be minimised. It's why labradoodles exist. So blind people with dog allergies could have guide dogs. It removed it for some and made it manageable for others. Sorry, hope you don't mind my wanting to understand how it is for you. The more people know the better they can understand and hopefully improve things for those who have legitimate problems.
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I am not an animal person and i think animals are awesome and cute....especially cats but I am kinda scared of dogs and really hesitant to go near any animal really except maybe cats cause I don't get extra conscious when I am near them but I get so pissed when people call me an animal hater...especially when they are the people who don't even bat an eyelid and I put out food for birds in living in the tree beside my classroom☹
People should have better control of their dogs so that they don't charge up to people as it can be intimidating - I also have a dog that is scared of other dogs and so it annoys me greatly when they just barge up and scare him. I would highly recommend getting help with any fear - my brother's friend had a child who was scared of dogs and they got her some therapy to deal with it and now they have a pet dog and she doesn't get scared in parks anymore. It's made life much easier for her in many ways. Dogs are so common place that to have to deal with a fear of them so frequently must be quite impactful on daily life. Unless I just live in a place with a higher percentage of dogs than elsewhere! 🤔 You don't sound at all like an animal hater though and good for you for looking after the birds.
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Anyone who would willingly hurt an animal just because is closer to a psychopath than anything else
While this is true, keep in mind that 99% of the people who say they hate cats don't mean that they would hurt one in cold blood. I don't know what the thing with hating cats is, but a lot of people just say they do when they really mean they dislike cats, or prefer dogs. To prove a point? I don't know, but it usually isn't "I literally want to stab every cat I see?.
Yeah they probably mean 'dislike' instead of hate and sure most people would never harm them but t's still weird and strangely socially acceptable for people to go around saying cats suck and they hate them, and that's not ok to me. Preference is fine but most of the hate is downright ignorance. And like, you wouldn't find people proudly boasting and ranting about how shitty parrots are all the time (I love parrots, this is just an expample) but somehow it's 'ok' for people to rag on cats. It's not ok. I think it's weird cars are so vilified... and these people lack empathy and half the time have never even had a cat. I like both cats and dogs a lot, but cats are way more sweet and loving than people think.
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When I tell people I am not a cat person, I always feel obligated to continue with "But I would never wish ill upon ANY cat and have in fact rescued several over the years." I would hate for anyone to assume that I feel one life is more important than another.
People shouldn't have to give context but I think it's useful - they know you better for your additional explanation. Judging someone without it is wrong though, people are too quick with their assumptions. So little tolerance. Intolerance seems to me to be the biggest problem.
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I like dogs and cats the same, but i would buy a cat because it would fit my lifestyle, but i also like compainionship
Adopt one, if you can. It’s more humane than buying one.
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I broke up with a WOMAN because she hated cats. Sexism sucks, OP.
"Construction Site Disaster: 70 men dead - Women most affected". ^^ This lady.
Don't like cats = misogyny? Seriously? And I suppose you can't argue with her because otherwise you are a nazi... How are those two things related, you may ask? They are not, that's the point.
Little me sat in the school bus a very long time ago. I overheard a conversation between two girls. One of them said that whenever she sees a cat she kick after it. I was terrified. What an awful person!
Im not a big fan of cats (well i got sent into the emergency room cause my friends cat scratched me REALLY REALLY bad so-) but i would never hurt them and People who hate cats and would not care about hurting them are utter jackasses
So can I say I hate every human on this planet? Hating an entire species in quite stupid unless they destroyed everything you knew for nothing like humans have done to heaps of species.
All out hating animals is a huge red flag. But life taught me that claims that "my cat can detect ill intent" are often red flags, too. I love pets. For the shy and anxious ones, I feel more comfortable having me here, them there until they get used to me (if they ever do), but it always melt my heart whenever I interact with social cats (I don't know why but ALL my cats, with no exception across the last 4 decades have always been, like, SUPER social and cudly, always on my lap, never scratching me and often asking to be petted). But I'm yet to meet an owner of an anxious/anti-social cat who doesn't try to shove the poor fella upon me, to the extreme discomfort of both me and the cat. Cue me feeling crazy anxious, the cat scurring away and the person thinking that means the cat has "magically detected" something. So, while I'll always love cats, with every passing day I find myself less and less inclined to interact with the "my cat has super powers" subsection of cat people.
People foisting their anxious cats on you don't sound like they are at all considerate of their cats either. What an unkind thing to do to the poor animal. Think I'd be willing to question their 'cat loving' credentials.
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I dislike cats, but I don't hate them or wish them harm. I prefer to have dogs, because dogs respect boundaries (if you teach them). Honestly, what I really dislike is people who have cats and let them wander around outside. If you love your pet, you don't do put them in a situation where they can be eaten alive by larger wildlife. I'm pretty tired of having to clean up the corpses in my rural yard.
Some people believe that cats should be free to roam as that is more fitting with the nature of the creature. I feel torn - cats love to prowl and roam, but cats are definitely safer inside. They do cause problems by having a significant impact on bird species. Their mess in other people's gardens is not nice - dog owners should pick theirs up (curses on those who don't) cat owners can't and people who think cats always bury it are a wee bit deluded. I've seen them in action not burying mess in my local woods. I've also stepped in it (yes, I can tell the difference between fox, cat, dog etc and have stepped in most over the years on walks). The problem is largely the number of cats, not cats per se and also the world we ask them to live in which is full of cars and dangers. Cats can also be trained but I think people make less effort because they see it as less necessary. I have come home to a several torn up birds in my garden so can sympathise.
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Our neighbour wants to shoot our cats if they ever come into his garden again. He believes that he is entiteld in doing anything he wants, but others need to 'consider others'. He was rude to someone that worked on our floor in the house, even 'treatening' him. I first thought him to be a nice guy. But the more I get to know him.. the more I reconsider liking him.
I don't like cats (I don't hate them) but I'd never intentionally harm one or see anyone else harm them... They just don't seem to like me except as a scratching post or my hand as a chew toy..
“100% of the time they have serious (usually unexamined) issues with women” I think that’s only in OP’s experience but yeah wanting to happily harm a cat is evil
I knew someone who wanted to cut the whiskers off of a cat because they saw it in a video and thought the poor cat's reaction was "funny"; thankfully (as far as I know) no cats were actually harmed but to want to do that just for fun is messed up in a thousand different ways
i really dont get how a hatred of cats can be associated with having issues with women but the post says people so does that mean that women who hate cats and would harm them have issues with other women the logic makes no sense
If you don't like cats OR dogs, you are NOT allowed in my life, no exceptions...
Cat person? I don't care what the animal is. If you are going out of your way to hurt a living thing for sport, that's messed up.
When an animal dislikes a person, you should take notice. There is something wrong with that individual. Big red flag.
When i see a person who loves animals, and even better, animals love them back, i just upvote them in my mind
Or guys who can only answer debates by going off topic and calling you a cat lady. Lol.
omg, that really hot guy from Sex & The City, Jason Lewis, just got caught SHOOTING stray cats. What as asshole. He's dead to me now. f**k him. pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside.
I have a cousin who said she hates cats. I have always hated her and view her as a bad person. Kind of person who could care less about anyone or anything other than herself. She said that and I looked her right in the eye and said, "I knew I always hated you. Like really, really, hated you." She is a second cousin so I have the luxury of not having to see her ever again now that I am an adult. Still hate her. Just do. Deep down. Pure hate. I bet she voted for Trump.
That is understandable. But it's not about hating animals. It's about actually wanting to hurt them.
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I wouldn't harm a cat but I don't like them. It's ok not to love a particular animal. I'm extremely allergic plus their personality puts me off. They smell. I don't like how cat owners worship them, just like I don't like when parents post their children's photos everywhere. I love my dog but wouldn't force others to do so. Harming is always bad, but let people not like something.
Ah, but you say you don't like them. It's hate that is odd. Though disliking ALL animals puts me off. We share the planet. Why do some humans think only humans matter? My personal experience of those types has been that they are generally fairly self centred (MY experience) and don't see the world beyond their own homes, family and self interests. I haven't found cats smell, their litter trays do and that's down to people keeping things clean, not the cat. If dogs smell that's down to the human too - groom them, wash them. These things usually boil down to some human stuffing up to be honest.
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Thank you! I wonder where she found the science to back that up. Perhaps another red flag would be people who have issues with men? Just sayin'
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I prefer cats. I think they have these funny, unique little personalities that make them feel like roommates. I love playing with my friends dogs but they all act the same.
People that would happily harm any domesticated animal have issues with PEOPLE, not just women. It is one of the symptoms of being a psychopath.
Why just domestic? So it’s cool to kick a frog or slap a goat?
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My mom hates cats. She would never harm one though, and she only hates them because she's allergic (which is still a terrible reason to hate cats)
My friend in first grade was an absolute cat lover but she was allergic to cats.
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I agree, huge red flag, this is also a trait attributed to serial killers, they all have abused some sort of animal and killed them before moving on to human prey
Not all, there are no statistics that back that up. Yes, it is a massive red flag - I completely agree. I worked for an animal rescue organisation and some of the animals harmed with acid turned out to be victims of a man who went on to injure women with acid. There is a correlation but it isn't an absolute.
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"Not merely people who don't care for cats"? So basically anyone who doesn't just love cats is on your bad side? Talk about someone having issues.
My ABUSIVE ex LOVED cats, this is no indicator -- the hate of dogs is a better indicated.
You can love animals and be a terrible person - Hitler loved animals, but you can't hate animals and be a good one - hence the red flag
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Cats are independent, meaning that they have not got domesticated like dogs are ruined by people. Cats today are genetically the same with their long gone ancestors, basically wild animals that might tolerate people who they live with. Some men hate creatures that cannot be tamed.
The cat (Felis catus) is a domestic species of small carnivorous mammal. It is the only domesticated species in the family Felidae. There are many cats that suffer from health problems due to over breeding by people and, as such, 'ruined'. Over breeding for 'cute' has happened in just the same way as dogs. Some breeds are ok, some aren't. Same as dogs. The natures of the animals are quite different. Dogs and humans developed a mutually advantageous relationship that enabled both to survive better. Cats also help by hunting rodents and giving companionship.
Load More Replies... Well, people simply see cats as selfish because cats don't operate on the same emotions and expressions as dogs do. Dog people might dislike cats because they have different expressions for joy and love. Cats are also caring for their owners, it's just that they have primal instincts that make them act a little more wild.
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Look, if you know anyone who ACTUALLY f*cks cats (furries do not count, as last time i checked neon green foxes don't exist), stay away from them and call the police.
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That’s not a good reason though, like at all.
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Don't use someone who killed countless people to prove your point you dense ass nazi.
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Have you ever been in love? Your best friend, your family friend, your parent? If so, you’d know very well how love changes people. Thankfully, the transformation is usually for the better, but sometimes, we fall head over heels so deeply that we lose the ability to detect doubts and other negative reactions we have with our love interests.
Elite Daily interviewed some experts. Here’s what they had to say about blind love and its impact on the people in the relationship.
In fact, very few of us are immune to this phenomenon, says nationally recognized psychotherapist Dr. LeslieBeth Wish, who considers blind love to be something that doesn’t have to do with appearances. It usually hits during the honeymoon phase, when we still haven’t had enough time to experience the negative side of our loved ones.
According to relationship expert Susan Winter, who also spoke to Elite Daily, the honeymoon phase brings all the best parts of our significant others to the spotlight. “We haven’t experienced the many times they’ll disappoint, let us down, and hurt us. These are the things that occur later in a relationship. Without knowing the totality of our partner, we are forced to see them in a state of love blindness.”
omg - the most violent person I know is a huge litter bug - flings stuff all over the place, disgusting...also a serial domestic abuser and physically violent
Took my date to a great restaurant where one of my best friends was our waiter. I introduced them to each other. On the ride home my date said to me " I cannot believe you would introduce me to a waiter... and what is it with you wearing a trench coat to a luxe restaurant.. don't you have anything nicer?" LAST DATE.
After the honeymoon phase ends, many lovebirds start to see and experience the not-so-pretty side of their relationship. This is why recognizing your initial doubts at the beginning of a relationship is crucial. Cherlyn Chong, a dating and breakup recovery coach, suggests seeking a person who can meet one’s needs “regardless of surface or social standing.”
“They need to not completely judge people right off the bat, but they should also prioritize those compatibility traits.” Thus, often, that very first hint of a negative reaction you have may be the most telling one. Basically, don’t ignore the red flags!
That's part of someone's identity, It's important you get it right to respect them if they are sensitive or feel more comfortable with you doing so.
A basic apology demonstrates remorse for something you did or didn't do. You start by saying "I'm sorry." Then you identify what it was that you did or didn't do to offend, you show you understand it hurt or offended the other person and how it hurt or offended them, and you tell them what you will do to avoid repeating it in the future. For example: "Hey, John- I'm sorry I told Mike you were getting divorced. You told me that in confidence and I know I betrayed your trust by sharing it with him. I value your trust, John, and promise you that if you ever confide in me again, my lips will be sealed." Notice I didn't offer an excuse like "I did it just that one time" or " I didn't know it wasn't public info." OWN IT when you apologize. Explaining yourself can come later if THEY request it. Otherwise, you're just throwing out excuses and not owning it.
Ex friend kept doing this to me. I would start a conversation that she would wave away with with the comment 'oh, you and your x idea' as though it was weird when it was usually just something I'd seen in the news and wanted to share thinking she'd be interested. She'd roll her eyes and pull faces if she didn't understand or agree. She would demean compliments I got from people to make them appear worthless. I realised her low self esteem got a boost from belittling me. People who only feel better when they try to diminish you are not genuine friends. Real friends would want to listen and support you. Even if you miss the fun times (I do) it's truly not worth the other times when you go home upset and thinking 'what on earth was that for?'.
People who won't apologise. Accept it if you have stuffed up. There is no weakness in recognising that and saying sorry to those you have hurt. It is weak to try and hide it, cowardly to try and pretend you did nothing wrong.
In UK, in most supermarkets, you have to put a £1 coin to get a trolley. If you want your coin back, you must return the trolley. (and yes, we call it a trolley!)
Similar to "if they will cheat with you, they will cheat on you."
My sister would believe 100% every critical story about every new boyfriend's exes. Boyfriend after boyfriend - they all had evil exes. Then, shock, discover that her boyfriends were actually the people with the problem. Not saying that applies in all cases but be wary if it's a trend in the partners you pick.
I used to work as a cleaner. I couldn't understand why some people would leave their lunch rubbish on the table when you had to pass the bin to leave the room!
IMHO? We have to be careful what we mean by "drama", as in, do we mean overexaggerating small problems, or do we mean the person is a self-fulfilling prophecy of doom, or do we mean that they had bad luck and are feeling crappy about it?
I've never been religious, but I do like that line in the bible about how when you do good deeds it doesn't count if you brag about it afterwards. Because it's true - you should do kind, charitable things for their own sake, not just to make yourself look good.
I hate this one. People have always been having their feelings hurt by insensitive (and bigoted) comments. It's just that nowadays it's much more acceptable to call people out on it. For example, decades ago, women had to just quietly take workplace harassment or be fired.
I disagree with this one. There is a lot of politically correct racist and misogynist things said and there are a lot of not politically correct things which are not racist and misogynistic. The preamble is to recognize that you may not agree with what they are saying. That doesn't make it automatically wrong.
Or... I'm a nice person.... it's not for them to judge, it's for people who know them to decide if that's what they think.
It's easy to assume women who don't have women friends must not like women. When really tons of us are just too f*ckin shy ^.^;;
I think the key of the OPs concern is that the men who say she's perfect barely know her... a bit premature to make such an evaluation. Plus those men probably have unrealistic expectations about a relationship with her...
Oh! I have one red flag! People who do not like others JUST because they like different things and judging others by it.
Beware of the Red Flags!
Did you enjoy those funny red flags? Well, we hope you did and also learned a thing or two about blind love. So, next time you notice a red flag, don’t turn a blind eye to it. What are some of the red flags that you have experienced? Don’t forget to let us know in the comments. Also, share this with your friends and steer them away from these red flags!
I don't think some of you understand what she's saying. A male gynecologist most likely knows the hygiene around the female body. The girl in this tweet is talking about men that know nothing about female anatomy and are telling women how to clean their genitalia. This isn't uncommon, I've seen men that say women should clean their crotch with soap, when in reality, if they did that they'd most likely develop a yeast infection. You guys are putting so much effort into wrapping your heads around this tweet. It's not that deep.
This needs context. There are some overcontrolling types who demand devotion and almost worship in a relationship and they call it 'loyalty' in the same way they expect a dog to by loyal. On the other hand, there are people who ask for loyalty simply because they've been cheated on or abandoned in some form and are just looking for a person who will stick with them and not get bored or dismissive or dishonest towards them.
I disagree with this. I honestly do not care what people think of me (online) but I am not an asshole and don’t use it as an excuse to be terrible.
This will depend entirely on the person. I would definitely not call that a red flag. For example, policemen/women will always refer to people as male or female. Are all policemen/women red flags?
Playing devil's advocate can help you see more points of view and identify weak or flawed spots in logic.
It's not bad to recognize the neurological happenings in our brain, but they end up seeing selfless behavior that is also self interested as all bad. It's kind of beautiful imo, being kind is also selfish? How weird is that.
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
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"If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
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"This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
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Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
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People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
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Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
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There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
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Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
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Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
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It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
Why do so many people think this is about women hating on men? The red flags can apply to anyone, I can apply a few of these to former friends and colleagues, some of which I wish I had have realised sooner. People other than lovers can cause you pain.
Maybe someone made several accounts, and then downvoted all the comments? I don't know how else this would have happened.
Load More Replies... "If you can't handle me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best".. Whatever happened to learning to controlling your emotions so you don't hurt other people.
What if they're referring to a physical illness they can't control that have led a lot of people to reject them during a flare-up? Maybe they just want someone who won't leave when they're ill and bedridden ?
Load More Replies... "This is just how I am, take it or leave it." These people do nothing to improve themselves and take no accountability for their actions. Everyone just has to accept them and compromise for them every single time.
are we being red flags by saying that we don't have flaws and complaining about others tho?
Red flag: a guy going out with a girl and refering to her as "the whore I went out with" when she is nota around anymore :(
Someone who expected an apology even though they know they're wrong.
"You're either for me or against me"...actually, I am capable of having my own opinions and still having a working relationship with you. I am allowed to disagree with you in a respectful way.
Two more: 1. People who never compromise. 2. People who have/had good parents and don't respect them, take advantage of them or aren't grateful for the things or advantages they give them.
I'm really glad that people finally talking about these things, it's not kindness when you try to tolerate the red flags, it's toxic.
When a person refuses to even acknowledge something you are extremely interested in. Personally, I am interested in cars. I can go on and on about cars, and I try my absolute best not to. When something really exciting happens in the car world, I want to tell people I like because I'm excited about it! It is really harmful to stop someone from talking about something they're passionate about/enjoy and then berate what they want to say.
Red flag: Bored panda not blocking the racist who has been plenty of hateful and racist comments and been reported multiple times.
And suddenly everyone is downvoted a few points...ooh whoever could it be XD (I upvoted you one bk)
Load More Replies... Red flag to me is someone's jealousy over how well others are doing professionally,personally etc.
Anyone who HAD to tell me they were Christian was always trouble . . . AND . . . Anyone who wanted to call me something else after I told them my name meant anything I said would be dismissed.
When someone posts hate speech like Amelija Janavicius has, don't downvote it, report it. Like I just did. Pandas don't tolerate hate speech.
Amelija Janavicius is only capable of one comment. All her posts are identical. Poor child; obviously not capable of functioning as a human being.
Mimi: To report; go all the way right on the dark menu bar : more > contact> report post I have reported her as well, I think she is friends with the staff...
Load More Replies... People who don't understand the concept of "Freedom of Speech" in the US and seem to think it means that they can say whatever the hell they want no matter how inflammatory or offensive without suffering consequences. Freedom of Speech means that you can say something without the US government kicking in your door and hauling you away.
Especially against private entities. Your book publisher canceling your contract doesn’t violate your First Amendment rights.
Load More Replies... Bosses who say they want a 'team player'. That can mean they want someone who knows how to keep their head down, toe the line and shut up.
Load More Replies... There was a guy I was texting and I said something with the essence of "you are a nice guy" and he wondered how I could know since we've never met. It was obvious because he always listened and tried to work with my quirks. He never tried to force anything when I said I wasn't ready (this ranged from meeting to kissing) and was extremely conscientious of stuff I liked and stuff that bothered me. He was a good catch, just not mine :)
Growing up not especially having much, I can't stand people who are rough with expensive things, or careless with anything new. This might not make sense to a lot of people, but if I got a new jacket when younger I treasured it. I see people throw their jacket on the floor and not care, and I can't handle stuff like that.
Nothing wrong about having personal standards but it's what they are - context-dependent red flags that apply to particual people or circumstances. I'm not sure they can serve as universal, fit-for-all red flags, because personality consists of more than one (bad) habit or parlance. I would not judge a person's worth without getting the whole context first.
Thank you for this comment! This was what I was looking for in this entire thread. I understand that many of these red flags are true but others originate from bad or painful experiences, and I thought that there was a lack of context in some of the posts.
Load More Replies... Wow, this was very revealing. I don't normally click on these because I'm not in a relationship or planning to be in one soon, but so many of these were things that my mom exhibited. She blamed all of her problems on other people, never said sorry (and if she did she would always include a but), was always cutting me down, and always emphasized how NICE and what a good parent she was. Looking back, I don't think she was the best parent.
My biggest ones are: --Treats waitstaff, cashiers, janitors, sales associates, etc. like crap. --Doesn't like cats or dogs. --Talks more about what they hate than what they like. --Complements themselves, ie: I'm smart/good looking/great at X/etc. --Complains about PC culture and Cancel culture.
Cancel culture IS stupid. However, people who think that ANYTHING to do with others’ rights is “PC” are people who refuse to see the amount of inequality that still exists in the United States. For someone who has been privileged, seeing others achieve equality can feel like oppression. Insecure jerks...
Load More Replies... Today I learned that I apparently hates someone who generalizing plus judging other people after only a minutes knowing them
I see it now... "red flag" is just another word for "stereotype" and "prejudice" but for people who want to look like they are actually the good guy.
These avoid facing the issue directly, namely getting to know or find out what kind of person is this, who am I dealing with, what are they like.
I had to google the 48 laws of power. Wow. What a right wing, sociopathic, nihilistic, narcissistic, and greedy horror. Pretty sure most modern GOP/MAGA types in the USA love that s**t.
A red flag for me is people who categorize others based on their political affiliation without getting to know them as a person.
Load More Replies... It saddens and perplexes me to see people who are totally aware how horrible someone is yet still falls for them and defends them.
