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People Shared 50 Shocking Facts About Their Friends They Only Found Out Years Into The Friendship
Interview With Expert
Truth or dare! Okay, have you ever kept any secrets from your bestie? Be honest!
No matter how many years you’ve known someone, you can never be certain that you actually know everything about them. Whether your childhood best friend is hiding secrets about their hobbies or your college bestie has decided to keep all of their romantic relationships under wraps, there’s always a chance that you don’t know your loved ones as well as you thought you did.
Redditors have recently been sharing the secrets that rocked their worlds when friends finally revealed them, so we’ve gathered some of the juiciest ones below. And keep reading to find conversations with Rebekah Ferguson, LMHC, Rachel Friendly, PhD, and Paula Glashausser, LCSW, from Zencare!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Found out that a long time ago a golf buddy of mine was a professional ballroom dance teacher in his previous years. Guy is 300+ pounds and just didn’t give off “ballroom dancer” vibes.
My wife of 10 years used to work for Arthur Murray dance schools and didn’t believe he knew how to dance so she invited him and his wife over for dinner.
Boy was she wrong.
Golf buddy twirled her, dipped her, the whole 9 yards as both myself and his wife stood there with our jaws on the floor.
After going through 7 different dances with my wife, he twirled her one last time towards me and said “told you so”.
We had a great dinner and I learned something new about the 300lb Samoan that I golf with every weekend.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
My mom also taught ballroom dancing at an Arthur Murray when she was young! It must have been a popular thing to do!
Alex Kennedy 1 year ago
And that 300 pound Samoan was Dwayne the Rock Johnston. And now you know… the rest of the story.
Annabelle 1 year ago (edited)
I'll enjoy the downvotes, but totally worth it: your wife is a c*nt, inviting someone over with the intent to catch them in a lie because she thinks she's got professional dancers all figured out? If he HAD been lying, curious how OP's wife would've played out "Liar Liar Pants on Fire." I'm glad the friend took it okay and ended with "Told you so." Inviting someone to your turf to potentially make them uncomfortable about something that really doesn't matter in the scheme of OP's golf buddy relationship. I can't stand people who think others need to prove something like this to them. Thank you for vent space. Carry on.
To learn more about the secrets that we keep in friendships, we reached out to Zencare to hear from a few of their mental health professionals. Zencare is an online therapist directory and the simplest way to find your ideal therapist. And lucky for us, three of their experts were kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about friendships.
First, we got in touch with Rebekah Ferguson, LMHC. Rebekah is a licensed mental health counselor in Brooklyn, NY, who works with adults of all ages in the treatment of anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder/trauma related symptoms, religious identify conflicts, issues with self-esteem, recovery from high control groups and high control relationships, and complex personal struggles related to racial injustice.
RELATED:
#2
I learned my husband was attracted to children after knowing him 8 years, shortly after our sixth wedding anniversary. I found a video one day and our marriage dissolved in an instant. I contacted police and cooperated fully with the police. He's in prison, now.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
That was my first thought as well. I can't imagine loving someone and then finding out something so horrible.
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Veldrin Dalharil 1 year ago
Speaking as a young target THANK YOU. You are amazing. If you ever need to talk don't hesitate.
Shelli Aderman 1 year ago
Tell her on the actual thread, 💕 https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1elhzfu/what_secret_did_you_learn_about_someone_after/lgsaury/
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Laserleader 1 year ago
That was the best reaction ever. My mom refused to belive my dad was a child molester even after he was convicted for molesting my brothers. Lots of therapy was needed for all us kids.
Cammy Mack 1 year ago
"Attracted to children". Throw him in a volcano with a bolder chained around his neck.
Linda's friend Ginger 1 year ago
Love how the list started with "My 300lb Samoan buddy can dance very well!" to "My husband is attracted to kids."
When it comes to how long it takes for a friendship to form, Rebekah says, "There are multiple factors that affect how long it takes to build a friendship. These include meaningful time spent together, level of alignment on values and interests, and opportunities for emotional intimacy and vulnerability. Some people connect instantly, and other friendships develop more slowly over time, as more of the personality of each person is revealed."
#3
I my 70s. My best friend of 40 years and I were talking, she was very fond of my mother, who has been dead for many years. She said something about how much I must miss her....
I didn't say anything. She pushed.
I finally said, I never say this to people who liked her, but she was extremely abusive, and I was greatly relieved when she died. She once threatened to cut my cat's throat.
There was a long pause.
She said, mine was too.
All those years and we never shared that.
That was quite a talk.
It's amazing the things you hide. .
Lsai Aeon 1 year ago
Same here, my mom even went to lengths to convince everyone around me that I was a liar so that no one would believe me when I tried to tell people about my abuse. She's dead now, and there's good reason her ashes are on the floor, AND her friends still believe that I'm a liar. She was "such a good Christian woman who loved and helped everyone" yeah right, she was a child abuser
Upstaged75 1 year ago
That's terrible. I wish I could share my mom with everyone who had/has an awful one. I'm so lucky that the most amazing woman gave birth to me! She'd probably be glad to take you all in too - she's often filled in as a substitute mom for friends of mine who've lost theirs. And she's still one of my best friends. :)
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
My mum too, everybody thought she was great. at her funeral all I could think of was "if all theses people knew what she said about them behind there backs" She never had a good word for anyone. Was violent with her children abusive to my dad and even her dog left to live with the neighbours.
Tricia Neville 2 months ago
There's a kind of shame about having a parent who hates you. After all, if your own mother doesn't love you, who will? My mother, of course, said it was my own fault because I was disgusting and nasty. It was years before I grew up, noticing that the few friends she had, never stuck around for long, and even her own family were wary of her. Gradually I realised it wasn't me who had the problem. Only after my mother's death, her younger sister told me that she had "rages" when she was young, usually towards her two younger sisters, that would be started from something quite trivial and she would chase them around the house threatening to harm them. Her father had to physically restrain her and pin her against the wall until the rage subsided. I'm no psychologist, but looking back I wonder if she had a Narcissistic or Borderline Personality Disorder. I will never know now, but I'm glad she's dead.
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
my mother had a larger turnout at her funeral than i would've thought possible; of course everyone said what a lovely & wonderful person she was...i thanked them, but all i could think about was the woman that physically abused (beat) us when we did something wrong, or the way she would talk about these very same people, and what a bitter person she was. I can't say i LOVED her or that we had a great relationship but I can say that I respected her for being a single parent in the '60s and doing as well as she did with what she had.
Rachel Friendly, PhD, was also kind enough to weigh in on the topic. Dr. Rachel W. Friendly is a queer- and gender-affirming therapist offering inclusive, culturally-responsive therapy. She works with young adults, the young at heart, and anyone seeking personal exploration and growth.
When it comes to making friends, Dr. Friendly says, "Different friendships have different trajectories. Some are slow and simmering, and then sometimes, you meet someone and you just know they are your people and you get to know them really quickly. Neither is necessarily better than the other, assuming both are built on respect, trust, and equity."
#4
I worked summers as a ticket booth operator at a minor league baseball stadium for around 3 years.
The owner was this really nice old guy (mid to late 80s) who always showed up in a wheelchair being walked by his daughter.
He always rewarded his employees with bonuses for good work. he even gave me $300 once for helping cash out one of his close childhood friends.
One of the final games I worked there he called me into his owners box and gave me beer and free food as well as $1500, just to thank me for all the hard work I did for him over the years.
He told me the reason he liked me so much was because I didn't pretend to like him because of who he was. Confused, I asked him to clarify. And he asked me if I seriously didn't know. I was still confused and then he told me the truth, he was actually a Hall of Fame pitcher who played with the Cleveland Indians and Philadelphia A's from the 1940s-early 1960s and even served in WW2. And showed me a replica of his Hall of Fame plaque.
We laughed about it and he further insinuated why he liked me so much.
He passed away around a year after this and I attended his funeral.
All around an amazing dude and I feel like such and idiot for not knowing who he was.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
That happens. I was 12 or 13 (mid-70's), had read one of those kids books about being a candy striper and it sounded interesting. I was doing the final interview at the nearest hospital and the volunteer coordinator asked me if I was OK with people thinking I'd gotten the position because my dad was the head of surgery. My response was "he is?" I mean I knew dad was a surgeon and his office was right next to the hospital but, my parents never told us "hey, your dad's the head of surgery there". She didn't believe me until after she called my dad to confirm it. I volunteered there for 3-4 years and no one else ever mentioned it, only her. They'd ask "oh, is so & so your dad?", I'd say yes and that was it, or they'd tell me a funny story about him (he has a great sense of humor).
Boop the Snoot. Pound the Paw. 1 year ago
My kids didn't know for years I was the District Attorney of our county. They thought I was a secretary or something up at the courthouse. We didn't NOT tell them, they just didn't know what I did day to day and my title was never used around them.
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Melinda Flick 1 year ago
I can FULLY imagine it was nice for the owner to not get adulation from OP, just respectful treatment. I have to think adulation gets old unless you're nuts.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
Don't feel like an idiot; it sounds like he was happy you didn't know who he was
"The key to getting close to someone is vulnerability - real relationships can't form without vulnerability, so the more quickly you are able to be (appropriately) vulnerable, the more quickly that vulnerability is likely to be reciprocated, and the more quickly closeness is built," the expert added.
#5
I’ve been married for 17 years. One day my husband’s mom came over and said here I cleaned out your room, take your violin. He then proceeded to play minuet in G. I had never seen my husband play before, he never even mentioned it.
Bec 1 year ago
Coworker said she was talking about getting quotes for someone to paint rooms in their new house as she didn't have time. MIL says, you do know that your husband worked as a house painter when he was in college don't you? No, no she did not, husband had remained conveniently silent as she priced painters.
#6
My grandfather was always jumpy around thunderstorms. We assumed it was because he was shot down during the war and it sounded like anti-aircraft fire. Nope! Turns out, when he was a teenager, he got struck by lightning! The craziest part was, this happened the day before he started dating my grandmother. And she'd never heard that story!
GhostlySnail (she/her) 1 year ago
Would he not be badly hurt after being struck by lightning? Did grandma not notice and inquire what had happened?
Ola Polowczyk 1 year ago
Not necessarily. He might have been bruised heavily but if the next day was their first date, she might have not noticed.
Load More Replies...Paula Glashausser, LCSW, shared her input on the topic too. Paula Glashausser is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in Los Angeles who treats individuals and couples. Many of Paula’s clients seek support to address difficulties or conflict in interpersonal relationships, life transitions, communication, and other mental health concerns, including anxiety and depression.
"Building a friendship can happen very quickly, progress overtime, or take years. There may be a spark - a connection or commonality of sorts - that helps us think, 'I can’t believe I hadn’t met this person sooner,' and feel as though they’ve been your friend forever," she shared.
#7
Finding out my best friend was secretly a published author blew my mind!
iseefractals 1 year ago
First semester of 6th grade, we were given an assignment to write a short story for english class, had until christmas break to complete it (like 3 months) and the only guideline was at least 5 pages (front AND back) long. What i turned in was more like a novella...it was 125 pages, which i based on a game called "lands of lore" I included a little map laying out the setting and all. Unbeknownst to me, my teacher submitted it to a literary contest for kids, with the top 20 having their stories published. Now, we kept the same teachers throughout middle school, so first class, of the first day of 7th grade he starts off by plopping a huge box on his desk, and starts pulling books out and passing them out to everyone, saying this is the first reading assignment, and to "note the author" At the time i wanted to die, but in hindsight pretty awesome.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
A friend and I recently promised to "swap drafts" of our novels and read them and give each other feedback. I sent them the unfinished draft of mine, around 50,000 words. They sent me a finished draft of theirs: 450,000 words. XD
Gracie Mae 1 year ago (edited)
Sr yr in high school--creative writing class, i wrote a story that after grading the assignment, the teacher was passing them out. he saved mine for last and went back to his desk to get it. i looked up as he was approaching my desk to see him carrying a large storage tote, acting like he was carrying a 100# item in it. He sits the tote on my desk and starts telling us all how good it was & that i'd gone above & beyond--i think the minimum page length was 3-5. Mine was in the 20s...something about "length alone does not warrant the grade that your prolific pen does" & it was an A+. i should've persued a career in writing (not just because of that, i've always gotten lots of kudos on my stories & writing ability), but life got in the way. Not disappointed because i still keep journals & can read them whenever.
"There are also those friendships that can take years to build that require work to stay connected. I think that what matters most in a friendship is the foundation that it’s built on, as well as how much effort each person contributes," Paula says. "The bottom line is that, in any relationship or friendship, we continue to grow as individuals, and hence, in our friendships as well. We are all forever evolving."
#8
I found out that one of my best friends used to be a competitive figure skater! We’d been friends for years and she never mentioned it. One day, we were talking about childhood hobbies and she casually mentioned she used to compete at a national level. I was shocked! She even showed me some old photos and videos—it was so cool to see a completely different side of her.
Amity 1 year ago
I thought the picture above was Katniss Everdeen for a minute. Your best friend sounds awesome!
Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her) 1 year ago
If Katniss Everdeen and Juno had a baby, that would be the stock photo chick
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Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
We had neighbors for 7 years (in Germany), and the guy mentioned he was in competitive canoeing (not sure this is the right word). I got curious and googled him. He was a world champion in the early 1990s. Talk about understatement. Very nice people, him and his wife.
Georgia Ireland 1 year ago
I worked with a young woman who had been a competitive figure skater. Once I saw her foot work in rollerblades, I had no doubt. She'd do all kinds of fancy spins and whatnot to get extra tips. (We worked at a drive in).
Lyoness 1 year ago
I'm glad you had a good time talking with her. Another view and maybe why she didn't talk about it at first... Some competitive athletes choose not to talk about their experiences, especially if they were traumatic (think ED, SA, toxic diet culture, manipulation, grooming etc.) It's nice you guys had fun.
We also asked the mental health experts why so many people keep secrets from their close friends. "It is important to normalize boundaries, even in friendships, and it is up to each person how comfortable they are in sharing information about themselves," Rebekah pointed out. "Keeping secrets is not always indicative of a lack of trust in the friendship."
#9
I knew my best friend for about 20 years before I found out that his sons were not actually his biological kids, his ex-wife cheated on him and both kids had different fathers, but he loves them and considers them HIS sons.
ZGutr 1 year ago
A friend of a friend (literally) has no kids of her own. After the marriage stranded she took in the steph kids. They are more than a hand full, -no matter how big your hands- but he wasn't a good dad by a long shot. I really admire her for doing the best she can where others would have given up.
Laserleader 1 year ago
This happened to a close friend. The heartbreaking part was she left with the kids when their third child wasn't his too. Broke his mother's heart as well because she lost all her grandchildren in one day.
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
If he considers them his sons, then they ARE his sons. Any little boy can plant a seed, and become a father. But the man who loves and nurtures and grows that sees, whether it came from him or someone else, HE becomes the daddy. And biology doesn't matter one bit. Any little boy with working balls can become a father. But the man who puts the time and love into those children, HE is the REAL daddy. Sperm (or an egg, for that matter) doesn't make a family. LOVE does.
Stephanie Barr 1 year ago
They ARE his sons. It's not blood that makes you a parent. It's love.
John Mosley 1 year ago
Very apathetic of you. Emphasis on the "pathetic".
Load More Replies..."Boundaries are the natural limits that separates us from others, and this includes having different emotional and friendship needs. The amount of information a person chooses to share is often reflective of their level of comfort talking about themselves, their level of openness to emotional intimacy/vulnerability, and the level of emotional attunement they received from caregivers during childhood," she explained. "Also, there are aspects of oneself that may not seem important to share, however someone else may feel that it is important, so keeping in mind different perspectives and friendship needs is crucial."
#10
He knew American sign language
Knew the guy for a few years, just a regular guy. One day I met him for breakfast to find him deep in conversation with a deaf dude.
pep Ito 1 year ago
I don't understand why there isn't a single sign language instead of several different versions. I mean. When you have the opportunity that at least part of the world's population can speak a single language without problems , you create different versions to hinder communication.
Hmmm hmmmm 1 year ago
It's because they all historically developed before we had universal communication, obviously if we were to make sign language now we'd probably make it universal but imagine the same if convincing people who've been using one sign language their entire lives to switch
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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
Even sign language has accents. The TV show Bones used the ASL accent of a deaf girl who'd been stolen as a preschooler to find out where she was from. It was a good episode, very heartwarming.
AnkleByter 1 year ago
I don't know why anyone would downvote you for that, because for once that (a tv show, lol) was actually a really good reference to something factual. I have family who live in a more rural area of the country who speak, and sign, a different dialect than we do here. Where they live it's easy for people to sign in ways they understand (especially the kids) but when they visit other places it can be difficult. Those different dialects and "accents" even can vary a great deal. Even the most seemingly subtle differences can throw people off, sometimes it means something completely different. The same thing happens a lot to people just learning sign language too. What they think they got right could be just off enough to mean something entirely different.
Load More Replies... Jeff Brock 1 year ago
I learned just because I found it interesting. Never use it much... once in a while. Recently I was at a resort town and there were bridesmaids parties everywhere (all wearing matching shirts, penis paraphernalia, etc). One group was deaf girls. They were walking in front of me having an absolutely filthy conversation. They caught my "listening " and demanded to know why a deaf person behind them would not tell them he understood. I told them that I was not deaf and that got them even more riled up. One accused me of cultural appropriation. I went into a grocery store couple days ago. The woman behind me in line to pay told me the cashier was her favorite employee and that he was deaf. So when it was my turn I signed "this woman behind me says you are her favorite employee" he asked me to tell her thank you. She was a little freaked out about it
Rob Williams 1 year ago
Sign languages, like spoken languages, are living things. If the whole world started from scratch and learned just one version it’d be a matter of weeks if not days before new slang words and phrases were being used.
#11
I recently found out that one of my good friends is really rich. Like comes from old money rich. She has the biggest heart and is incredibly sweet and down to earth so I would have never known. It wasn’t until she got married that I started to piece it together.
“Where are you having your bachelorette party?” “Oh my family has a condo in Florida that we’ve had since before I was born, we’re just gonna chill there for a week.”
“Where is the wedding?” “Oh my dad is part of a club so we’re just going to have it there.” Looks up the club and sees that there is a dress code just to walk into the freaking building, and it costs a couple hundred dollars a month to be a part of it.
At the cocktail hour there was a vase in glass that had pretty birds on it so I took a look, there was a plaque inside that said it was donated to the club and was made in like the 1700s. Priceless art that could be seen at the Met on display in this club as decoration.
So yea, had no idea. In hindsight when she got her master’s in education from an expensive university I should have gotten the hint lol. But I mean it when I say she’s a really phenomenal person. One of the biggest hearts you’ll ever know. Just a gem of a human being.
Upstaged75 1 year ago
I got my Master's in Education from an expensive university too. But I didn't pay a dime for it. :) I got a job at the university and it came with free classes. Most US school do this.
James016 1 year ago
This is the difference between old money and new money. New money is too flashy and vulgar
Gabby M 1 year ago
Old money is classy!! I live where old money summered like Whitney, Vanderbilt, Rockefeller, U. S. Grant etc. Now a days its new money who are classless, obnoxious & entitled and most likely have NO CLUE who the names I listed are.
Load More Replies... Gracie Mae 1 year ago
the best 'rich' people are the ones you don't know are--regular, down-to-earth types that are just great humans
Sven Grammersdorf 1 year ago
A couple hundred dollars a month doesn't sound like a very exclusive club
Christopher Crockett 1 year ago
Half a lifetime ago I met a girl from old English money. She was a bit unconventional. Went to a posh private school and hated it. She showed me pictures of her car (a Citroen 2CV, a French 'people's car', like the VW Beetle) and pictures of her in various stages of rebuilding the engine. She said she used to like to park it near the most expensive cars her classmates drove, just to get under their skins. I remember her fondly.
"I think there can be several reasons behind why one may keep a secret from the people they care about. It’s possible there is fear of judgment, feelings of shame, not feeling ready to talk about it, or perhaps it’s something they want to hold on to solely for themselves," Paula chimed in.
"It’s important to remember that we need to accept people for who they are, as well as where they are in their journey. Whether they aren’t ready to share, or maybe won’t ever share, it’s their decision, and we need to respect that," she explained. "No one is entitled to know details about a person’s experiences, history, or their life that they don’t want to share. All you can do is create a safe space for that person and hope that they will feel comfortable enough to come to you with a secret."
#12
She was homophobic.
Had a friend for over 20 years. She supported me when I came out at 32. She met my partner and loved her. Was a great friend.
Then I went back to court to get custody of my children changed and she sent me a 5 paragraph email telling me that I have no right to my children as I’ll raise them in my lifestyle and they don’t need to be exposed to that. She also said I need to grow up and realize that having someone who is gay as a parent will get them bullied so I need to find a nice man and put my perverted lifestyle aside for the sake of my kids. It went on but, that’s the gist. It was vile. Full of name calling and homophobic dog whistles.
I was so heartbroken. This was my BEST friend of TWENTY YEARS and she writes me a horrible and disgusting email!
Ruined our friendship. Cutting her off was like losing a limb and it took me months to get through it. It’s been 14 years and it still hurts. I check on her through Instagram sometimes (her profile is public) but I have her blocked everywhere else.
Wang Zhuang 1 year ago
Even more gross is the fact that the friend appeared to support OP and OP's partner in the beginning. Then she did a 180 when she found out kids were involved. Very sad
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
What exactly is "the gay lifestyle" anyway? Nobody seems able to specify.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
UPDATE: Consulted a gay friend and he doesn't know either, but said he does know what the gay *agenda* is: Be gay, do crime, and eat hot chips.
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Sky Render 1 year ago (edited)
I kind of hate that bigotry has tiers like this. It's something you learn very quickly if you come out: people are only tolerant up to a point, and once you cross that tolerance point, they let their true colors show. They basically are like a deer scare (a type of bamboo water feature): their tolerance, like the water content of the bamboo pipe, empties as soon as the "fill line" is reached, and everything comes out.
Hilary Mol 1 year ago
I also lost a best friend of 20 years, but I never had the benefit of knowing why. You're right about the pain - it's like losing a limb. It's been 12 years for me, and there are times when it still feels like a fresh wound. I'm so sorry you had to lose a best friend, especially for the reason you lost her. Maybe it's my position on the LGBTQIA++ scale (I'm the B), but it's rare that I tell anybody I'm bi; I've faced some pretty harsh barbs from my own community that have caught me completely off-guard. Your breath must have been knocked out of you when the one who supported you through coming out then turned and bit you. I'm talking in circles. All I can say is: I'm so sorry you're still processing this.
Pixie T 1 year ago
I had the same thing minus the email. I met my best friend at the age of 3 on our first day in infants school. We went through junior and high school together and in almost all the same classes over those years. When we were 21 i came out and told her I was a lesbian. That lunch was the last time I saw her as she completely ghosted me. Its be 24 years and it still makes me sad to think about. I've seen her around a few times over the years and she blanks me everytime. Weirdly though if she ever sees my mum, sister or cousins she always asks how am I.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
I have to wonder, IF and only IF it was just that -one- email, is it possible that she had a homophobic relative/loved one that sent that message from her email account or something? If she was nothing but supportive in 20 years of friendship, why would she suddenly change her tune? But if it really was her, then blocking her was well-deserved!
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
damn...can't even imagine the shock of that one...29 yrs is a loooong time to think you know someone!
So is it a bad sign if one or both friends are keeping secrets? "Sharing vulnerable information/secrets within a healthy friendship dynamic can certainly be beneficial in strengthening bonds, enhancing friendship intimacy, and providing a platform for more expansive relational capacity and connectedness," Rebekah told Bored Panda.
"However, if one or both friends are keeping secrets, placing a value such as 'good' or 'bad' on this dynamic is limiting. A more useful way to address it is to become curious on why one or both are keeping secrets, assess if the secret is something that could impact the other person in a meaningful way, and explore if the pattern of keeping secrets is unique to that friendship, or a more general pattern in interpersonal dynamics," the expert noted.
#13
I learned that my friend was a psychopath.
I knew him as passionate, fun a bit eccentric but over all a good guy.
Then he suddenly took a journalist out sailing in his submarine, tortured her - killed her - cut her up and threw her overboard.
Shark Lady 1 year ago
I remember that case, he'd built the sub himself and the journalist wanted to interview him about it.
Luis Hernandez Dauajare 1 year ago
Peter Madsen, from Denmark. I remember that case because I was obsessed with personal submarines when I was a teenager. The guy was one industrial accident away from becoming a super villain.
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Cecilie Hammershøy 1 year ago
Peter Madsen. He also build his own space rocket (Didn't work), escaped prison with a fake gun made of soap (Got caught again) and dated one of the other famous Danish psykopat killers Peter Lundin's wife. Insanity.
Bad Alchemy 1 year ago
I saw a film about this. They never said the killer's name, and actually focused very little on him, instead focusing on the journalist and her life. And of course solving the case.
Just me 1 month ago
Well, he really shouldn't get any credit at all, so it's brilliant they didn't mention his name. He's not getting out for years. We all know who it was, but not naming him is better for all.
Load More Replies... Upstaged75 1 year ago
I just looked this guy up (Peter Madsen) and we have the same birthday. :(
"If the secret is due to lack of trust, that could be an opportunity to further assess the nature of the friendship, the level of satisfaction in the friendship, and determine what, if any, next steps to take to address the issue," Rebekah added.
#14
Not so much a secret but news to me.
My roommate and I were in the USMC together and if you aren’t married then you must maintain a barracks room. Most people take that as meaning you have to live in the barracks, but if you show up to field day and keep your room clean you can’t technically get in trouble if you decide you don’t want to stay there all the time. My buddy was married at the time so he had his own house off base, and after getting tired of the barracks life I started staying at his house more and more helping out and whatnot. We were definitely friends, always had each others backs and had similar humor, really growing close, getting into each other’s hobbies.
Well one day almost out of the blue his wife leaves him to “find herself” which is pretty f****d as they had a child together. So, buddy is now single and back in the barracks almost ready to EAS, basically get out of the USMC, so he lets his now ex-wife have custody for a few months back in their home state so he can get his s**t together to presumably work out a custody deal. Nothing too notable happens, we have a sending off party for him and he heads back home.
I spend another like 6 months to maybe a year still in, I’m pretty s****y when it comes to keeping in touch with people, so I figure he probably feels a little betrayed I didn’t reach out a whole lot during that time. I get out and move in with my parents, I saved quite a bit of money not having a car, mostly living in the barracks and eating at the chow hall, so I take a year off. Spent time with my family, didn’t have any friends really, when my buddy starts reaching out.
Every few months or so he’d say stuff like there’s a really good job here, you wouldn’t have to rent a place you could stay with me, I could stay there rent free if I looked after his kid, at this point he had him every other week, another job opportunity, you should just visit so we can hang out or whatever. I finally think to myself why not, it seems to me he’s either lonely or trying to look out for me, so fly out see his house and boom pandemic shuts down airports and s**t and I don’t have a car. So, basically become a live in nanny, but it’s not so bad we’re having fun and have each others backs again.
One day we get completely s**t wrecked drunk, happens sometimes, but he tells me something that just shocked me: I am the main benefactor of his will. Here I am thinking we’re just good friends and dudes like no you have the responsibility of making sure that whatever I have is used to help my son live a good life. Damn, that hit me right in the feels.
*Edit I had been the beneficiary of his will for a few years by the time he told me.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
Wow. I agreed to be the executor of a friend's will decades ago and have never heard anything else about it. We lost touch long ago.
BeesEelsAndPups 1 year ago
My parents made me the executor of their will until my little brother graduated from University. He's ten years younger than me, and fifteen years younger than my older brother, who my parents didn't trust to look after my little bro.
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Michael Joyce 1 year ago
Some people are less expressive than others. One of my greatest friends is one of my greatest friends because on day he told me so. I'm an extrovert, so I guess if someone doesn't show me open adoration, I'm a blind idiot..
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
Mine sounds like yours. We’ve been closest friends our entire lives and still see each other most days. He’s like an onion when it comes to information about himself & I’m still peeling away layers 45 years on. We’ve talked about it and he says I’m social, that I can make conversation with anyone. He sees my world or life so much bigger & vibrant than his, but this is something we actively discuss and work on. I used to fear him being in my shadow, especially socially. It’s taken 30 years for him to “come out of his shell” so to speak, and he’s much more of a participant now than I am, when before he was definitely an observer. The irony is I’m extroverted, but a total homebody who prefers minimal to no company. He’s obviously introverted, but always wants to be out in the world meeting people & being social. This dichotomy is part of what keeps us so close & our closeness is what makes us each thrive.
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Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
Occasionally I get insecure about my friendship, but we're tight even when we don't talk. Depression and anxiety brain still show up to say mean things sometimes, but I know I'm the main beneficiary of her will, so if I ever start feeling this way it's like "dude you're #1" and anxiety brain can't really argue with that. She better still stick around for a while though.
Ovata Acronicta 1 year ago
A day later, but she actually had me finalize my info on that paperwork today. Barring extreme circumstances, I am *the* beneficiary. Somber. Trying not to think about losing my best friend. Those sorts of things bring out the scary thoughts. If Death shows up at her door I'm kicking his boney a*s though.
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Display_Name 1 year ago
Currently, my SO is my beneficiary. If something happens to him then my best friend becomes my beneficiary. She will make sure my daughter uses the money wisely.
Amy S 1 year ago
I wonder if OP has misunderstood the will, maybe the money would be put in trust for the son with OP as the trustee?
Load More Replies... #15
She won a f*****g **GRAMMY** (like actually, literally) for music she worked on for a video game soundtrack. She didn't even tell anyone, we only found out because her family made posts on facebook congratulating her and tagged her in it.
Lyoness 1 year ago
Why are we arguing grammar when their friend won a BLOODY GRAMMY? That seems a tad more important to the past.
Bryn 1 year ago
as long as you can understand what was being said, why tf does it matter
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Laura Mitchell 1 year ago
I have a friend who has won a buttload of Emmy awards for various short films, documentaries, etc., while holding down a day job not related to film or tv.
"I think a lot of secret-keeping is about shame," Dr. Friendly pointed out. "Sometimes that shame comes from inside of ourselves, from the messages we were socialized into by our families, the media, and our culture."
"Keeping those secrets isn't necessarily a 'bad sign,' because it may not mean anything at all about the other person in the relationship. It may just take the person longer to overcome their own internal shame," she explained. "But when the shame comes from within the relationship (e.g., the other person either directly shames you or is regularly judgmental about other people so that the message is received that this secret would be shameful), then there is probably something to be examined within that friendship."
#16
My mother was married with a famous drummer before she started dating my dad.
Explained why my dad always got mad when i told him i wanted to become a drummer.
RosenCranzLives 1 year ago
There's a legend about drummers. More than one. Lots of them overlap. But that's drumming, for ya.
Load More Replies... Pandemonium 1 year ago
My father encouraged me to be a drummer because he knew that way I'd always know how to count to four
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
When I was an innocent, young flautist, I had a crush on the boy who played the timpani. I can't even remember his name now, but he was awfully cute standing behind his drums.
Wang Zhuang 1 year ago
That's really lame on dad's part, no need to hate on the guy who was a past love
Mike F 1 year ago
Dad probably hated the fact that it would be years until the house would be livable if OP was banging drums. I had a neighbor who convinced his parents he was going to be the next Hendrix so they paid for all his stuff. When it was time to form a "band" it was their house that became the practice spot. The whole block (including the parents) went crazy with the racket. That's probably why dad didn't appreciate the kid's choice.
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MushroomHead22 1 year ago
drummers have a lot of stamina in their forearms. they know how to use their hands quite well.
Grey Beard 1 year ago
I wanted to be a drummer but my dad bought me an electric guitar and amp instead. When I asked him why he pointed at the amp and said "that is a volume k**b, give it a go and you'll see how easy it is to turn down". I got his point and I've been playing guitar for 35 years now.
#17
I had a tenant in a basement apartment that I became friends with. He was doing his PhD in philosophy or politics science and in my Canadian city for a couple of years. He was American. He was covered in tattoos and def looked the rock and roll part. We hung out a little bit and since I’m a rock and roll guy I mentioned something about him looking like he was in a band. Turns out he is the lead singer of a well known death metal band. I’m not a metal guy but I was a little shocked.
Travelling Stranger 1 year ago
actually quite a few of US extreme-genre musicians have PhDs in some specialised fields
Sky Render 1 year ago
It's something of a running joke in some academic fields that the most successful people in those fields are musicians, highlighting the relative uselessness of the degree. That said, many of them just do music because it's fun, like Brian Wecht from Ninja Sex Party (he has a PhD in theoretical physics and is far from an unknown in the field).
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Lee Banks 1 year ago
There was a painfully attractive guy in my first astronomy course. We were both super into the material, and always sat in the front row. One day, I got bold and tried to chat him up before lecture. Told him about this band I'd just discovered. They were 'a little under the radar' but starting to make it big. He was the guitarist. I was mortified.
Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
My cousin is married to the lead singer of a fairly well-known grunge band. When they were dating, Grandma bought all the kids a CD player and one of their CDs for Christmas. Grunge wasn't really to my taste in general, but they're a good band. I bought several of their albums, actually listened to them, too.
Btsquestrian 1 year ago
The lead singer of Bad Religion and the lead singer of Bad Religion, Greg Graffin, has a Ph.D. in biology from Cornell University. While still being an active member of Bad Religion (who formed in 1980), he continues to lecture at UCLA and Cornell.
Sven Grammersdorf 1 year ago
The lead singer of Bad Religion and the lead singer of Bad Religion?
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no adhesiveness 2020 1 year ago
I had a college programming professor that worked for IBM in the 1960's. He said there were no programming degrees so they hired math majors and music majors.
Sven Petersson 1 year ago
Quite a few metal musicians here in Sweden tends to work as teacher or social workers. Odd.
Shelley Sandblom 1 year ago
Lead singer Dexter Holland of the Offspring has his PhD in Molecular Biology!
#18
I was on a team in high school for 4 years, got pretty close with the other girls on the team and we all hung out all of the time.
We decided to go bowling together and one of these girls, who we had spend hours a week with for years and talked about everything under the sun with, showed up with her own shoes, gloves, bag, and bowling ball and crushed us all with a near-professional score.
She had never mentioned bowling to any of us, even once, even when we were making plans to go bowling.
Julia Mckinney 1 year ago
Sounds like my first day in swim class as a sophomore just starting high school. A few of us were on the swim team and had already been practicing together for a month. The teacher (not our coach) told the class to swim as best as we could to other end of the pool and then just wait there. The three of us looked at eachother, nodded, and took off. 2 of us even did a flip turn at the end of the pool length. The teacher just looked at us and said "you're all on the swim team aren't you?" We nodded and she laughed.
SM 1 year ago
"Best as you can" sort of surprised me (coupled with the "sophomore"). Just reminded me that other might not have really learned to swim by that age. We tend to think others are "the same" until they "aren't". Personally, I could swim the length of the pool by five.
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We were also curious if it's ever possible to know everything about a loved one, or if we'll always be holding onto some secrets.
"Having an understanding of a person's values, characteristics, and life experiences is necessary for forming an authentic friendship, however it is both unrealistic and unhelpful to expect to know everything about another person," Rebekah shared.
"There are some aspects that should be disclosed, if it has a direct or could have a direct impact on the other person, and their sense of safety (psychological, physical, etc.) within the friendship," the expert noted. "[But] an expectation of revealing everything is often rooted in unhealthy relational dynamics, where there is a high level of interdependence versus healthy autonomy, and an over-reliance on the other for support and emotional dependence."
#19
That the man she claimed was harassing her actually took a restraining order out against her because she'd been the one stalking him the entire time.
This was going on for years. He had video proof. It was unsettling to think of how easily she lied for years and years to so many of us.
Jill Rhodry 1 year ago
Smear campaign - especially project the crappy things you do onto your victim - a toxic person's favourite strategy after the discard
Ripley 1 year ago
And the worst of it is that this kind of behaviour means that women who are genuinely stalked are less likely to be believed.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 1 year ago
Stalking is no laughing matter. My ex went crazy when I kicked him out. He was bi-polar and if he was mad at me, HE wouldn't take HIS prescribed medication. Pulled some real whacko sh*t. Left my jewelry box on the toaster so I'd know he got into the house, even though I had changed the locks immediately. Left a box of cards and notes on the backseat of my car, in the locked garage, etc. For about a year and the cops could never catch him in the act. Well, one night the dumb mother f*cker left death threats for me and my 2 children ON MY ANSWERING MACHINE, & caller ID showed the call came from his PARENTS house. Bingo, here's your "go directly to jail card".
Ann Coffman 1 year ago
I hope you are doing well now. My ex-husband was bi-polar but undiagnosed until he was in his 60s. I had suspected as much, but he refused any help. He chose to self-medicate, which caused many problems in itself, including major damage to his health. I wasn't the only one he targeted, but I was the one he lied about to his friends and family. His story; all of our "situations" and "drama" were because I was "crazy" or high. Typical narcissist bi-polar, project and deflect.
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Fezi Nkosi 1 year ago
I have a similar story. A friend of mine lied to me that she was pregnant. She even pretended that the unborn baby had down syndrome and she didn't know whether to terminate the pregnancy or not.
Marvin Radding 1 year ago
Then there was the case where the perpetrator set her own house on fire, killed all of her pets, and made it look like the man's former girlfriend was the perpetrator. When the police started examining things, the timeline didn't match her statements, and they eventually figured out what was happening.
#20
My brother-in-law’s father was a god-fearing southern Christian man. Very evangelical, family first, salt of the earth kinda guy. When he passed not only did they discover logs of online conversations with gay men, but that he also wrote extremely popular gay erotica. To say our minds were blown is an understatement. As far as I know it has never been discussed again.
AnkleByter 1 year ago
Contrary to popular belief among some, you can be god-fearing and/or religious while still being gay. I can understand why this man might feel he needs to hide it, especially if his family's "minds were blown". They're likely the type that believe these things are mutually exclusive, rather than inclusive.
Russell Tilling 1 year ago
I’m sure there are plenty of gay, Christian men and lesbians. However I can understand why they wouldn’t talk about it.
AnkleByter 1 year ago
This is absolutely not just something one might find in the US, you'll find these attitudes the world over. There are entire countries where one must hide their sexual orientation just to avoid being imprisoned, assaulted, or worse-and those practices are widely accepted in those countries.
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#21
In my youth, I learned my friend of six or seven years was a Jehovah’s Witness, I had no idea. Sitting there talking to him one day and I asked him if he was ready for Christmas and he said no and that’s when he told me he was Jehovah’s Witness, I had no idea.
Later I found out that he was the reason why every time the Jehovah’s Witnesses went up and down the street in our neighborhood they always skipped my house .
Lisa T 1 year ago
I’m surprised he was allowed to be friends with a non JH person, and generally they are very pushy, in your face about their religion. Was he non practicing?
Wang Zhuang 1 year ago
I grew up a JW. Back then (I imagine this is still true, actually), it was frowned upon for a believer to befriend people who were not "in the truth", as we used to say. That said, it really depends on the family. My parents allowed me to be friends with non-believers, so long as they were good kids. One of my best friends was Muslim, actually.
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Kat Nt 1 year ago
I've learned from a Jehova's Witness that you CAN ask to remove your house from their route and they will do it
Wang Zhuang 1 year ago
You mean when they visit your house to talk about the Bible? Yeah, usually if you tell them you don't want them to come back, they'll make a note of it and won't return
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Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago
I worked with one. We became pretty good friends. She gave me some of the booklets THEY read, about how to preach to people. It was quite interesting.
"As human beings, we all have limits to our perspectives, our memories, and the way we recall information, so it is actually not feasible to disclose 'everything' about oneself," Rebekah told Bored Panda. "A healthy balance of independence and interdependence is necessary in all relationships."
"Everyone has secrets, or at least information about themselves that they won't reveal. And what is most important is being able to know for oneself the what and the why behind it, as well as assessing if keeping the information hidden aligns with values set for self and others," she continued.
#22
When my “best friend” died I learned that I never knew her at all. She was a pathological liar. She had told me that she was born in New Zealand and moved to the U.S. when she was 2. Nope born and raised in NJ. She told me her middle name was different than on her obituary. The craziest lie was that she had a younger sister that was hit by a car as a toddler and died. She had a tattoo of roses that she swore was for her little sister. There was a specific day in November every year where she’d fall apart crying. Said it was her sister’s date of death. That sister never existed.
Anna Boes 1 year ago
This does sound weird. Like, really weird. Lies like false middle names or a more interesting origin story sounds like typical insecure teenager whose social anxiety pushed too far. Making up a dead baby sister might fall in the same category. Breaking down every year on the same date without external prompting is a level of commitment to a stupid, attention-seeking lie that a)mental issues beyond your average teeny anxiety are at work or b)there was a reason she cried. And how do you know there never was a sister? Like, there probably wasn't, but parents aren't always telling the truth, either...
MaxMi 1 year ago
The problem with lies is when people starts to believe them and you must keep up-
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G A 1 year ago
Had a m8 like that. He lied to all his friends. Told us he had a twin brother who died young, that he had one medical condition when he had something much less serious, married a girl under false pretences, even maintained it all at the wedding by asking us not to mention certain subjects to his parents. When his wife found out, she told all of us, he had some sort of mental break and disappeared, never to be seen again.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
As a kid I was friends with a girl who constantly told lies, but her lies were always calculated to make herself seem impressive. Contrasted with that is a woman my parents told me about. She also lied all the time but she lied about the most trivial stuff on the planet, for no apparent reason. When mutual friends compared notes they realised the claims she had made did not match up and none of them could understand why she was even telling these lies in the first place because it's not as if she gained anything from it. Though perhaps, now I think about it, it's a power-play.
Papa 1 year ago
I don't understand it either. I once heard a man described as "He'll climb up in a tree to tell a lie when he could have stayed on the ground and told the truth."
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Magenta Blu 1 year ago
My mother used to lie about practically every damn thing. When she passed away and i discovered the length of the lies I was mesmerized, until i realized what being my grandmother's child would have meaned.. my grandmother was a very difficult and violent person (all her family really) so my mother learned to lie in order to survive.. and then she never could stop. I realized this is why I always have to second guess me on absolutely EVERY damn thing i say.. because sometimes i catched myself trying to tell different versions of a fact turning it into a complicated story. It is very tiring, because if i don't make a conscientious effort every time, I may be never able to stop lieing. I can't bear not even white lies, which makes me a very difficult person to have a relationship with.
Evelien Stijger Martens 1 year ago
Had a freind like that, dhe came out of a terrible home situation and made up a lot, i guess to be somebody. Never ever want to see her again and i am not one to hold grudges. She always said i was her freind and than suddenly turn around and started hangingvout eith outher girls , gissiping an d fingerpointing towards me. Than she came back to me and this went on and on. One day i just sayd she could drop dead. She got angry and screemd that i knew she wanted to kill herself. I 2as done. I guess she knew i had noeone else and abused that well, i'd rather be alone. Later i learned i am autistic and i don't need people to be oke and sertainly not people like that. Her boyfreind died, ooo hiw she was crying. The whole boy never existed. He was a nephew of some fameus bandplayer. Not. Thing is, I do know one of those band members now and i don't have to lie about it, not as a freind, but just as someone that is just there.
marianne eliza 1 year ago
Gets her a lot of attention. Watch out for Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy if she has any kids.
Tricia Neville 2 months ago
My mother too was a compulsive liar. I never worked out why she lied, except when it was because she wanted people to think well of her, but in most cases it seemed to me to be both pointless and embarrassing when she was found out. The longest lie she kept up was that her next-door neighbour (who didn't even like her) had left her a vast sum of money plus her house. What was true is that the neighbour was very fond of my father who had broken into her house to save her, one winter, from hyperthermia, for which she had to go to hospital for a spell. She wanted to give my father a financial reward which he blushingly declined. After my father died I was puzzled when my mother said that she had struck up a friendship with her neighbour. However, when my mother died I found that she had very much less than I had in her bank account and absolutely no sign of the legacy or house sale she claimed to have had from the neighbour.
Nikki Angulo 1 year ago
I had a friend once who was a pathological liar. I didn’t realize it (or even know it was a thing) until years later when a character on the John Larrroquette show made a joke about being a pathological liar.)
#23
It wasn't really a secret so I don't know if it qualifies. But I have a work friend we've known each other for years. Grab beers together, hang out side of work from time to time. Turns out we've been in each others orbits since birth. He mentioned his mom knowing someone I knew via my mom. We started going through contacts. We'd attended the same schools just diffrent classes that never blended. His brother dated my cousins best friend. We'd worked for the same companies just a mix of one of coming in as the other was leaving or the company was big enough for paths to never cross. We'd lived in the same neighborhoods multiple times. We had the same favorite restaurant in one place we just had diffrent regular days to go.
Lew k 1 year ago
I just found out my work buddy grew up in the same neighborhood, went to the same school. Same teachers etc. A few years apart. We were over near the area for work. It's about 30 minutes from where we both live/work now. He's just like, hey that's the house I grew up in. I literally walked by that house every day for school. My house was like 3 blocks away.
Joshua Russell 1 year ago
Sounds like a Tyler Durden situation. Gone to any meetings with a mouthful of blood? Have you been asleep?
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I recently heard a theory that souls reincarnate in groups. With that I think you guys were supposed to be in one another's life because you agreed to that before getting here. IDK, something to think about.
#24
A good friend of mine that I'd known over 20 years died in 2021 from covid. I noticed a bunch of children at the funeral that I didn't know. I asked who they were, and I was told that they were his children. He told me he had no kids but actually had 10. 10 kids!
Tempest 1 year ago
That’s sad for the kids. Sounds like he’s been refusing to acknowledge their existence. How can you not even mention at least one or two out of so many?
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Maybe children he fathered with different women, none of whom he ever married?
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The Cute Cat 1 year ago
May be he is a sperm donor.. 10 kids are a very heavy burden if one have to provide
Jay Cee 1 year ago
When my Polish FIL passed I was sorting out papers in his house when the phone rang. An accented female voice said "Can I speak to F please?" I braced myself and gently explained that he had had a heart attack the week before. There was an intake of breath, "And who is this?" "I'm his SIL." "SIL what do you mean?" "I'm married to his daughter." "He has a DAUGHTER?" "He has two grand daughters too." They'd known each other for 35 years . . And yet, at the funeral a stranger came up and said "You must be A, F's daughter? He told me so much about you and the children!.
Lee J Ross 1 year ago
T his is very sad yet somehow risiblel. How could anyone be ashamed of their children .
Arenite 1 year ago
Never said he was ashamed. He just kept the info private.
Load More Replies... Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
Wow. Said he didn't have any kids and actually had 10. What a deadbeat!
Dr. Friendly agrees that it's not ever possible to know everything about another person. "I am not sure we ever even know everything about ourselves," she noted. "Even the most self-aware people are always learning about themselves – in fact it is often the most self-aware people who are open to continued learning about themselves!"
"I think the key to close, healthy relationships is to remain open and curious about one another so that as we learn about ourselves, we feel safe and encouraged to share that learning with those who care for us," the expert added.
#25
My partner just randomly started juggling when we had friends over a couple months ago.
I never knew they could juggle.
We've been together for over a decade lol.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I knew some who didn't want anyone to know about their juggling. But the auditors caught them anyway.
Arenite 1 year ago
The Metropolitan Opera in NYC put on a production of an opera by Philip Glass, Akhnaten, about the controversial Egyptian pharaoh. There was a whole troupe of jugglers onstage. When I heard about them, I thought it was really weird. But then I saw it and the jugglers were AMAZING! Definitely worth seeing. It was shown on the PBS show, Great Performances, so you can probably see it on their website,
Ann Coffman 1 year ago
I love Philip Glass's works. I'll bet my local library has a copy, thanks for the info.
Load More Replies...Paula also noted that it may not even be possible to know everything about ourselves.
"We are constantly growing and changing, and that leads to us learning new things about who we are each and every day," she shared. "I think it’s really incredible to try and deepen connections with people by asking them questions about who they are and showing them how interesting and exciting it is to learn more about them. Friendships and relationships take effort and spending time to engage in activities and conversations can be an avenue to learning everything we can about another person.
#26
My friend was a hip-hop dancer in his youth and won a lot of dance competitions before uni. Lesson learnt humble people never brag about themselves 😎.
#27
I'm 56 now but at some point in my early 40s while driving with my dad he says "you have a half brother somewhere".
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I have heard this from my family. My dad was a trucker and quite the ladies man. About 3 years ago we met one of them after she decided to track down her birth parents, our dad with her birth mom. We also have another sister from Texas, allegedly. I am good with this, I just want to meet them.
Andy Frobig 1 year ago
When my dad got Lewy body dementia, instead of forgetting things, he started telling stories I'd never heard before. His uncle was a taxi driver a long time ago, and one time he picked up a woman who paid her fare in "services rendered." Nine months later he had a daughter who wasn't his wife's. My sisters didn't believe this story until the daughter contacted one of them, after a DNA test
Gracie Mae 1 year ago
i had to find that out the hard way, and not even from my estranged "dad." DNA test on an ancestry site...beware--some things are better left unknown!
"Just remember people are expansive, multi-dimensional, and complex, even if not everyone presents this way," Rebekah added. "It is possible to have a close, genuine experience with a friend while also acknowledging the lines that separate their thoughts/beliefs, emotions, needs, experiences from your own."
"People often feel sharing secrets is a pathway to friendship intimacy, and it is important to remember that friendship intimacy can also be developed by sharing emotion-evoking experiences together, identifying and leaning into shared values, overcoming challenges, and engaging in new experiences together," the counselor shared.
#28
I’m still not 100% certain on this but I know something is there.
I have a friend who is really smart, in good shape, good looking and very personable. He’s always had one of those postures and builds like someone who has been in the military for a long time. I’ve known him for over 10 years, closer to 15 and I’ve never once heard him mention anything about the military, in fact he’s very against the military.
Every person we run into randomly who is in the military ALWAYS ask about his service to which he says he never served but would have loved to. He has one of those khaki colored baseball caps with an American flag Velcro patch in his room that looks like its been worn to s**t. He said a friend who did some tours in Iraq while wearing that gave it to him. He also has some challenge coins I’ve seen that he also said his friends have given him.
Thing its, we’re close, we have a tight knit group of friends and we never met any of these military friends. There is a period of his life before me and people in our group met him that seems unaccounted for, from like after highschool for like 10 years there aren’t any people who knew him then.
I have a very and I mean VERY high suspicion that he was involved in the military or maybe still is in some capacity that he either isn’t allowed to say or decided to forget about. He has a tattoo that was lasered off, he said it was a stupid tattoo of a cartoon named Battle Toads. That sounds believable but he has other tattoos that are also pretty silly that he has never removed, he even has a misspelled one. I recently found out that they call navy seals “frog men” – is it a coincidence that he had a tattoo of a “battle toad” removed?
I asked him about it once while drinking and he laughed and said he wishes he was that interesting. But there are SO MANY signs.. Also, dude is fearless and can diffuse any situation and eventually befriend even the scariest and meanest dudes.
Not sure what to make of it but I’m certain there’s some pretty cool story that can’t be talked about for whatever reason.
Edit: in my 40 years of living I just realized its “defuse” and not “diffuse” 🤯.
RosenCranzLives 1 year ago
Sounds like a sniper. I've been friends with two of them. Both saw active service. Afghanistan for the younger one, Rwanda for the elder. They never mentioned their past service, there's nothing on the walls of their homes, no uniforms, no photos, nothing. I only found out because I was in the same service and someone I know who knows them mentioned it. It makes sense. They killed people. Not in 'self defence' per se - but because that was the mission. I don't ask, it's none of my business.
Blue Cicada 1 year ago
Good observation. CIA or counterintelligence would be more discreet, have a cover story.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I remember Battletoads! A not very successful attempt to rip off the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but remains known if only because of the insanely hard video game (it was actually an animated TV series, but people generally just remember the game).
Jenna Kay 1 year ago (edited)
My dad STILL can't tell us where he was part of the time, what he did, etc. I know he left the military when I was little, but joined the reserves. I know he was a jumpmaster and an ordnance specialist. He had some amazing clearance level (weird story about how I found out). When asked, he just says that he can't talk about it, and moves on. I know he has some pretty severe PTSD (though he won't call it that), he leads a support group for young veterans adjusting to civilian life, and is a patriot to the core. I have often wondered what happened when he was enlisted, and where he went when he was "called" and had to leave for a few days/weeks while he was in the reserves. He will take his secrets to the grave, (I did try to get some records once, but they were classified and so that didn't work).
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
I only found out my uncle is a Vietnam vet when I saw a picture of him from the Air Force, in uniform, next to a fighter jet. In the 44 years I've known him, he's never said a single word. My dad says he doesn't like to talk about it, so I've never thanked him for his service, or even said a single word myself. But I do remember him, every Veterans' Day, etc.
#29
Finding out she never really liked me. She would laugh with others about whatever I would tell her in confidence.
We had our first babies only a few months apart. Broke my heart more than any man could.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
Fyi, it's betrayal. Not being trying to be the grammar police, just wanted to let you know for future reference, lol. 😊
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Marguerite Barnett 1 year ago
Mine actually sued me. i did nothing wrong to point she couldn't find a lawyer to take it. She got her husband to file against me. Broke me.
Magenta Blu 1 year ago (edited)
Sounds like every "friend" I had over my whole life... Until I learned to not trust absolutely anyone. Then i finally got mental peace once and for all. Friendship only exists in fiction stories and novels . Good for movie plots too. But not real. Like unicorns and fairies
Dr. Friendly also pointed out that therapy can help with all of this. "Relationship therapy can help if there are specific things you want to work on within a friendship, but even individual therapy can help with your relationships, both with yourself and with others," she shared. "Therapy is a safe place to process shame, to unpack relationship patterns that aren't working for you and experiment with new ones, and to keep learning about yourself so that you can bring that new learning to your relationships with others."
And if you're looking for a therapist of your own, be sure to visit Zencare!
#30
They have a lisp. No bulls***ting I never noticed the lisp until my wife met him and pointed it out and bam I notice the lisp now. Son of a b***h slipped it by me.
Tempest 1 year ago
My friend got an accent of sorts (like the way she spoke changed) after getting braces in middle school. I never noticed and had no issues understanding her. That was until my mom and sister just randomly said that they avoid conversations with her (when possible, not in a rude obvious way) because it’s so difficult to understand her. I still don’t have an issue and definitely can’t remember her previous “normal” speaking style.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
This has happened to me also with someone. If you grow up with someone especially it's like you never actually notice stuff until an outsider points it out!
Seper makerchoe 1 year ago
Wasn't there an episode from How I met Your Mother over this called Spoiler? (found it before posting, episode: Spoiler Alert, season 3 episode 8)
Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
My niece has a lisp. She's in speech therapy now, and it's getting better. But when she was a toddler, literally the only person who could understand what she said was my son, who is 3 years older. We used to ask him to translate for us! 😂 (He was happy to, sometimes he even volunteered the translation without us even asking! 😂)
Nikki Angulo 1 year ago
I noticed a few years ago that one of my cousins has a bit of a lisp, which I never noticed before!
#31
I found out after years of friendship that my friend had been taking photos of me while I slept at sleepovers. Turns out they had an entire album titled "Dreaming" with pics of me in various sleep poses. (no longer friends with him).
#32
A childhood best friend of mine had a mother who constantly went on vacations alone to “Florida”- turns out she was actually in the psych ward.
Susan Raskin 1 year ago
That's sad. Needing help is nothing to be ashamed of. The stigma is still strong today which is also sad. So many people need help, support, and guidance. Mental health care should be free.
Ann Coffman 1 year ago
Explains a lot of the news headlines lately... "Florida Man this.." "Florida Man that..." Lol
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Tom De Paul 5 months ago
There are fewer things better than a 72-hour non-skid sock vacation. IYKYK
#33
I had a friend, who I had known quite closely for years. She had a plethora of aliments. Everything from Celiac disease to autism. I would also cater to her aliments. Making sure there was no gluten, making sure to take her to places where she wouldn’t get sensory overload. Not being offended if she wanted to go home early, or be left alone. Being a shoulder to cry on when she couldn’t get pregnant because of her PCOS (she claimed this), being patient with her ADHD. Turns out she was faking it all. Till this day I am not sure why she would do this. But I think it was a form of attention seeking and maybe narcissistic.
Anna Boes 1 year ago (edited)
Or, and hear me out - she might have had a mental health issue she struggled with, but couldn't find a label for. Finding people who are supportive of your needs makes you feel all special, that's where hypochondria and Münchhausen come from, but I also know from personal experience that I knew there was something 'wrong' with me and jumped at every label I could find that would explain at least anything about why I was so miserable - and 'incompetent' at being normal. It took me years to find out just WHAT is 'wrong'. Having all these other labels I operated under for a while got me enough support and slack to survive. That's not narcissism. It's just being helpless.
Tempest 1 year ago (edited)
Thank you for sharing your experience! Hope you’re doing better now! For stories like these it really helps to know the experience from the other side of the story before making harsh judgments. Sometimes there’s more to a story than what it appears to be!
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Shark Lady 1 year ago
Some people feel very inadequate and think their life is so mundane that no one would want to be their friend. They make up a more exciting life for themselves thinking that will keep people around them.
Strachan Coutinho 1 year ago
"Ailments" being spelled incorrectly TWICE is really triggering. The funny thing is that "aliments" mean "food" in French!
Liz Greenlaw-Cruz 1 year ago (edited)
Factitious disorder imposed on self, also known as Munchausen syndrome, is a factitious disorder in which those affected feign or induce disease, illness, injury, abuse, or psychological trauma to draw attention, sympathy, or reassurance to themselves.
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#34
I recently discovered that a very good friend of mine who I've known for about 11 years had a security clearance several levels higher than POTUS. He retired from Sandia National Labs and prior to that was in the Navy working for the Department of Naval Intelligence. To clarify, I knew all of this I just had no idea to what extent.
David 1 year ago
Except that is false. The President is the only person with unrestricted access to any information in the US govt (https://ucmj.us/who-has-highest-security-clearance/#:~:text=While%20many%20federal%20and%20military,granted%20by%20the%20presidential%20office.)
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SM 1 year ago
I don't think this is stated correctly. The highest security clearance is Top Secret. And it isn't really uncommon for one to have it either, I had it. But with this is "the need to know". Just because you have a certain clearance doesn't mean you get to look at whatever you want that has that clearance. You have to have the "need to know". That is really what separates out what one is privy to.
Melissa Harris 1 year ago
And that's *why* he had such high clearance. He could keep his mouth shut.
Melinda Flick 1 year ago
My IL's had a friend couple, and the husband had worked for one of the early Silicon Valley companies. He had severe travel restrictions on vacation areas. Wasn't allowed to go to China when the IL's went. There were others I never heard specifics of, but that one came up around the dinner table one day.
#35
Found out he can breakdance
Was a a squadron Christmas party (USAF) and one of my buddies is s**t faced drunk and pushes our commander off the dance floor and starts legit breakdancing on the floor, like the whole leg scoops, head spins, hand stands all that. And typically he’s just this slow moving barely animated character but he becomes a whole lot more lively after that alcohol hits.
#36
I lived across the street from an older Israeli guy, very decent family person. It was only after knowing him for maybe 10 years he pointed out to me that half his right hand was missing, because a missile went through it when he was a navigator in an Israeli tank and removed 3 of his fingers. When I asked him if he knew who was shooting at him, he said "scrubjays, at that point there were so many people shooting at us it could have been anybody.".
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Not a secret, I just hadn't asked because it seemed rude and my parents didn't volunteer the information, but I didn't know until I was a teenager why my uncle was missing half the fingers on each hand. He had a schizophrenic break when he was in his 20s and poured petrol on himself and lit it on fire. He did it in front of his wife and kids, which is why they didn't live with him (another things I never asked about). I had known about his schizophrenia, because he was living in supported accommodation at time, just not about that incident.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 1 year ago
My partner worked with someone for years who he knew had won a medal at the paralympics, but he never asked how he was qualified to be in the paralympics. One day he was shocked to discover that his colleague only had half a hand. My partner is an intelligent guy. I find this an interesting example of how wildly different people's experience/interpretation/focus of the world around them can be.
Lucy Dahlia 1 year ago
I set my friend up on a date with a coworker that I really liked hanging out with. After their date my friend said “you didn’t tell me about his fingers.” He had 3 fingers on each hand due to a birth defect. I had never noticed!
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Jenna Kay 1 year ago
My great-grandfather was missing a few digits. Everytime you would ask, he would give a different story. Or, if he thought you could get hurt he would say "be careful, that's how I lost my fingers!" I still have no idea, neither does my mom, or grandmother ... and he's been dead for a long time now, so I guess I will never know!
similarly 1 year ago
I was in university with an older guy, maybe mid-to-late 30s, who was a biker (he went on to become a junior high teacher). Had tattoos all up and down his arms (wore long sleeves when he started teaching because he was worried how the kids would react. He was missing part of a finger. One day, he told me the story. He and a friend had been in a bar when a fight broke out. They quickly moved towards the door. He felt a sharp pain, but kept going. On getting outside, he realized that the last digit of one finger was missing, but said "Well, I ain't going back in there to get it!"
David 1 year ago
Give that the person said older, and the type of injury this sounds like a vet of the 73 Yom Kippur war, which had lots of the craziest tank battles of modern history, especially Israel V Syria battles in the Golan, where there was no single front line, tanks scattered all over, randoms high intensity battles, etc.
Lee Banks 1 year ago
Was super friendly with a neighbor for six years before I noticed he has seven fingers and no legs below the knee. Still haven't asked, and he hasn't mentioned.
Sven Grammersdorf 1 year ago
You didn't notice for six years that he had no legs?
Load More Replies... #37
I had a very close friend growing up from a big family. He was the oldest brother out of 6 kids. I never saw anything wrong but definitely remember some weird vibes during sleep overs. We lost contact after high school but during the pandemic reconnected. His family was having a bbq one day and I’m sitting with him in his car hanging out smoking and listening to music. One of his sisters came to the window and made a really overtly sexual joke to him and he looked over at me like he was seeing if I heard it. He said something like “you’re nasty get the f**k away from me” and she said “that never stopped you before”.
#38
That he's good friends with one of the band members from one direction. I was shocked until he pulled up some of their childhood pics together, they have been friends a long time.
Tempest 1 year ago
The problem with this would be that the moment you mention that you know a celebrity personally, those around you would start pestering you to get an autograph from them or even have you set up a meet up with them. So it’s understandable to keep such a connection low profile.
Victoria 1 year ago
When that happens, you go in another direction with the friendship.
Load More Replies... #39
I found out at her funeral (When I was in my late 40s) that my grandmother worked on the Manhattan Project as one of General Leslie Groves secretaries (what we would call an administrative assistant today) at Los Alamos and, before that, as a human calculator.
Its been almost 10 years, and I'm still pissed at her because I'm a huge WWII guy, and she straight up lied to me when I asked her what she did during the war when I was a kid (she said she worked in a hospital - which made sense because her first husband was a doctor).
(Technically, she was my step-grandmother, but she married my grandfather long before I was born, and my bio-grandmother died when my dad was a teen).
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Don't know why the OP should be angry. Grandma was working on a top secret project. Unless the grandchild had security clearance, she was correct in not telling the truth.
David 1 year ago
These were all declassified other than the actual instructions on building a nuke. They already started declassifying in 1946, in 1994 they put them on the internet
Load More Replies... Lew k 1 year ago
My grandpa was the opposite. Always said he worked on a Sub. Had a big scar across his abdomen that he said was from the war. It was always a wink and nod type of thing. Not like stolen valor more like messing with us. When I was older I found out he did laundry in the service and that was after WWII and the scar was from his a surgery to remove part of his intestine for an infection.
similarly 1 year ago
My grandma apparently drove 2 1/2 ton trucks for the army during WWII. She never left the USA, so she must have been doing some kind of work stateside, maybe working in a factory, but no one in the family knows for sure, since she never told anyone. They only found her US Army drivers' license after she passed away. Apparently she took "loose lips sink ships" very seriously.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
If she'd have wanted them to know, she'd have told them; no-one has a "right" to know everything about someone even if they're family
#40
My multi year fwb and I had many deep conversations and I thought I knew her pretty well, so when I found out she was a married politician from a neighboring state I was surprised.
Travelling Stranger 1 year ago
that fwb might have been a conservative / republican preaching family values (very often those individuals secretly indulge in activities they publicly detest / condemn or want to ban others from doing, and then a strange silence when shıt hits the fan)
Julie S 1 year ago
The problem with friends with benefits is there has to be a reason why one or both of them doesn't want a relationship and it's usually that they are already in a relationship.
marianne eliza 1 year ago
My reason is I like being independent and living alone. When we get together it's usually a play, concert, movie, art fair, &c and a meal then a hotel room. Not motel, a nice hotel. Sometimes we stay the night and do things the next day but we've never spent more than 1 night in a row together and I'm always glad to get home to my space.
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Rocky 1 year ago
Why are you people like this? It's beyond deranged, there needs to be a study if your brains are f****d from birth or what.
Load More Replies... #41
Not exactly a secret as something not shared but twice now I've learned a male friend I assumed was straight was bisexual. Both cases I went "oh cool, that's new info" and never brought it up again. Men tend to not talk about relationships at all unless asked to.
Lee Banks 1 year ago
A good buddy of twenty years came out a few months ago. Dudiest dude's dude you could ever dude. He'd been with the same woman since we met, so never any need to talk about dating. My boyfriend's reaction: "We still talk cars and baseball?" My buddy's response: " Yeah, but now I get a pass to call your girlfriend a b***h." It was so wholesome.
Aelin Wildfire 1 year ago
Ah, yes, I totally think "wholesome" when I hear about men calling women b-tches... 😮💨
Load More Replies... Marie BellaDonna 1 year ago
I'm a try-sexual. I'll try almost anything at least once.
Load More Replies... #42
That my mom had a one night hook up with James Brown and kept her receipts to prove it.
Bartlet for World Domination 1 year ago
The receipts part makes me wonder if it was his body, not his soul James Brown was selling :)
Nikki Angulo 1 year ago
But was it THE James brown? Because I know James brown, but not THE James brown. I’m pretty sure there are lots of James browns around!
#43
Close friend had her marriage end when she was caught having an (online) affair. I was supportive without being judgemental. I don't know the full picture and both parties have a lot going on and are a handful. I very recently found out that the person she had an affair with was almost certainly (though not 100% sure) a minor at the time. It was online so whether or not she knew is up for debate...but the more I think about it the more I doubt every single thing she says now.
I_imagine_even_worse_w***s 1 year ago
I think its a lot worse that any ick!
Load More Replies... #44
One of my best friends faked an olive allergy for about 15 years. Someone exposed him at his bday and he started panicking and yelling about blowing is cover of just not liking them olives. We all just laughed at him and I was gonna use that against him as long as I could. That was end of May. He passed away suddenly two weeks ago, so didn’t get to use against him much….
Jeremy James 1 year ago
Every year on my birthday, I would try an olive to see if I liked them yet, and every year I would say, "Nope, still gross." Then, one year, it finally clicked. Now I love them.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
Black or green olives? Or both? I personally like both, but I like the black olives more. For the Pandas who like olives, please comment on which ones you like. I want to take a poll and appreciate your input. 😊 thanks
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Lew k 1 year ago
I used to say I was allergic to pickles. I just don't like then but got tired of the conversation about how great pickles are from people I was dinning with. I married a gal who loves pickles and problem solved. Now go ahead and give me the pickles and I just transfer them to her plate.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
When I was younger I heard that if you don't like olives if you could eat ten olives you would like olives. I don't like olives. I never tested that theory.
Display_Name 1 year ago
My ex would say he's allergic to onions but he would eat onion rolls and salsa. He just didn't like them.
#45
That he killed someone driving while drunk. It happened in another state ( I'm in the U.S.). His lawyer kept getting the case postponed and eventually he stopped getting updates by phone or mail. When he finally called his lawyer he was told to forget it ever happened and was sent a bill from the lawyer. My former friend has since passed away.
Brian Droste 1 year ago
If this really did happen, I bet the family that had a family member killed is very angry that the murderer got off with no penalty.
Beth Wheeler 1 year ago
No way, not unless it happened a really long time ago. They don't just let people off here in the US for drunk driving and vehicular manslaughter unless maybe you are super rich or a damn politician.
Marnie 1 year ago
Probably did happen a long time ago. Before MADD, people got away with driving drunk and its consequences. I remember my old best friend saw a guy dragging a body under his car. Guy was very, very drunk, had hit someone and had dragged them for a long ways. This was back in the 80s, so I don't remember all the details, but I don't think he even did jail time.
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Leesa DeAndrea 1 year ago
What!! That is so wrong! He killed someone! He should be doing hard time!!
#46
That he couldn't hold a conversation about something he wasn't personally interested in. He'd just nod his head and wait to change the subject.
Michael Joyce 1 year ago
ADHD too. "Oh, that's just like when.... Oh no, I'm going to forget it... Oh .... " then interrupt and look like a d**k.
Amanda Fondaumiere 1 year ago
Yep, forget or interrupt. Or my personal favorite interrupt and then forget as you are speaking.
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Anna Boes 1 year ago
Autistic people near you - grinding their teeth while you talk about yourself since the dawn of time.
Bryn 1 year ago
don't forget when they get mad because you "interupted" their 15 second "pause"
Load More Replies... Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
So many people do this; you can tell that instead of listening, they're planning what they're going to say next
ANTIVICTORIA 1 year ago
It's possible for someone to have a mental illness and still be a completely self-absorbed a*****e. It's not a pass/excuse to get out of being responsible for one's actions free.
#47
I found out after years of being friends with Chris that he used to be married. We were just having a casual conversation over coffee when he mentioned something about his "ex-wife." I was so shocked that I almost spilled my drink. I had no idea he had ever been married, let alone gone through a divorce. He told me that he got married young, and they ended up splitting amicably, but he never really talked about it because it wasn't a part of his life he felt defined him anymore. It was such a surprise because he’s always been so private, and I realized there were whole parts of his life I didn’t know about.
Jenna Kay 1 year ago
I don't often talk about my ex either, and most people just assume my daughter is from my current marriage. She has never called my husband her stepfather, he doesn't call her his stepdaughter, and my children don't refer to each other as half siblings. We are just a family..
#48
I found out that one of my best friends from age of 5 until I was in my 30's, was a lesbian, on Facebook, when she posted video of her wedding.
She was in my wedding as a bridesmaid.
She was always a private person, but that really threw me. I felt like I wasn't a good enough friend to tell. It really put a rift into our relationship and it hasn't been the same for many years now.
iseefractals 1 year ago
First, just because she married a woman doesn't mean she's a lesbian, could just be bi and happened to fall for a woman. Second, it absolutely does not matter! Despite what the past 15 years have tried to convince everyone of, Race/gender/sexual orientation are the least interesting and least important aspects of anyone. These things say nothing about who a person is, only what they happen to be....and those who make their entire personality about their identifiers are exhausting and insufferable.
Sandella 1 year ago
Definitly but I think in this case it's more thw shock of finding out your long time friend was married through fb, without so much as a heads up, let alone an invite.
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Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I would have been way more upset at not having been invited to the wedding.
LB 1 year ago (edited)
Yes, that bit sucks! Queer people are under no obligation to 'come out' to anyone. Sometimes I get a little frustrated because to me I am 'normal' but everyone else has opinions about whether or not two people who happen to have vulvas should be able to do X or Y together legally or not. But not being invited to the wedding of someone who was a bridesmaid seems... very sad.
Load More Replies... Susan Raskin 1 year ago
I hope you shared with her that she life choice wasn't the problem. The problem was you felt hurt that she didn't trust you enough to share this information with. I guess she didn't feel the friendship was as close as you did.
A girl 1 year ago
Why would it rift the relationship? Heaven knows I've had relationships I wouldn't tell anyone about.
Bryn 1 year ago
Especially if they weren't friends anymore when it happened.
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Lesbitarian Lady 1 year ago
Maybe she was afraid she'd lose your friendship if she came out to you. And look that's what happened, after all
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
You know there's a story somewhere where the bride says she was dumped by one of her good friends when she married a woman
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
Does it really matter? She’s still your friend. The fact that she’s lesbian and married her love doesn’t change that. People need to get over themselves
BlitheSpirit 1 year ago
Sounds like it’s less about sexual orientation and more that it felt a one sided friendship as far as trust and confidence. You never know, though.
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#49
After several years, I found out he was from Texas, a vegan, and did cross-fit. Never had a clue.
Colleen Glim 1 year ago
From Texas, ok whatever. How did you not know he was vegan and did CrossFit?!
Leebo13 1 year ago
The fact that he kept quiet about it may have come across as quite a shock.
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Miracle Max 1 year ago
Yes, because vegans will ALWAYS tell you about it, at every opportunity!
DC 1 year ago
Yes, totally. We kinda explode if not. And also, it's the funniest thing on earth to say so. Makes one appear smart and educated.
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James King 1 year ago
I call Bee Ess. There is absolutely no way a vegan Texan who does crossfit does not tell you about all three within the first seven minutes of being introduced to them.
Jacquie Carr 1 year ago
Unusual because all of those three things are normally announced within the first 5 minutes of meeting
#50
His middle name was Moreen.
Tempest 1 year ago
Still much better than the names most kids have nowadays! (Tbf I’m also from the club of “funny middle names”. Not any of those modern ones but mine’s the name of a dish (same pronunciation, different spellings) that wasn’t popular in the world and definitely unheard of in my country at the time my parents named me. Hated it so much when growing up that I never used it at high school, even with official records like my high school qualification exams. Even had it officially removed for some years. As an adult now I like to use it because it definitely helps people remember my name. Don’t think most of my school friends know it. I’ve heard of just one other person having the same name after doing a Google search.)
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What do you think ?
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Just because someone doesn't share information about themselves that doesn't necessarily make it a secret. It just may not come up in conversation. I currently live in a small town where noone knows that I had a career as a singer and actress when I was younger. It just doesn't come up. But it's not a secret per se.
Brian Hawley 1 year ago
A dentist in our town was arrested for selling d***s. I’d known the guy for years. Never dreamed he was a dentist.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
My grandad (my dad's dad) passed away before I was born. My dad rarely spoke of him, not because he was abusive or anything, but just because my dad was of the generation who didn't talk about their past. I found out that during WWII, my grandad was in the Royal Army Service Corps Film & Photographic Unit. He filmed and photographed many well known people including Winston Churchill and Field Marshall Montgomery. He was part of the liberation team at Belsen and did much of the filming there too. Every time I see a documentary with footage from the war, or if I see any photos in a museum I wonder if they were taken by my grandad.
John Nelson 1 year ago
Worked for a charity for a few years in an office building we shared with another agency. Talked with one of the ladies from the other agency quite often, got to be office friends in a way. Found out after a couple years that she used to be Tinkerbell at Disney World!
Zoe's Mom 1 year ago
A friend of 6 years passed away last year. (2023) While cleaning out her home, found out she was gay and had many health issues. I don't know why she felt she couldn't tell me she was gay when she knew I was friends with a lesbian couple. It kind of hurt that she didn't tell me but she had her reasons. I have her dog and still miss her terribly.
Amy S 1 year ago (edited)
I'm very sorry for your loss. I don't know you or your friend but she may not have felt like she couldn't tell you, she might not have felt like she needed to tell you because it did not defined her. I'm attracted to both men and women but there are plenty of people who don't know because it doesn't come up in conversation. To me it's as important as what pizza toppings I prefer. I guess people assume I'm straight but that really shouldn't be our default assumption.
Load More Replies... Magenta Blu 1 year ago
I don't have friends. I got tired of pretending to bond with someone only for discovering that bond means nothing for people. All of them were very happy to be around me when I had something to give, money to pay for amenities, or a car to drive them where they need. But when c.rap happened in my life i realized everyone suddenly was very busy or sick or something. So i discovered friendship is only a fantasy like unicorns and fairies, good for fiction, but simply not real.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Not really a secret, but it wasn't until after he died suddenly in an accident that I found out a friend I'd known since childhood had been heavily involved in the local filmmaking scene and worked on the sets of dozens of movies. His movie buddies showed up to the funeral and I'd never met them before. For some reason he just never really talked about it; I only remember him mentioning it once when he had to leave a social gathering early to be on set for a night shoot.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 1 year ago
not really a secret, and definitely not on this scale, but I recently found out a friend of mine for over half my life who is squeamish about horror films is fascinated by true crime documentaries. that threw me a bit. fake violence. freaks out. real violence, ooooh, interesting. tell me more.
Joanne Hudson 1 year ago
After our class reunion I was asking why Jackie didn't come? Nicest guy; transferred in from Catholic school to centralized HS. Seems Jackie was killed in prison - in the state I lived in all the way across the country. He was psychopath and had killed to get in prison. My maternal grandmother's fiance was murdered. When I asked mom about it she just said she didn't know anything. Grandpa was janitor in a large church. One day when mom dropped me off to go home with him for a sleepover, he was killing it on the gigantic pipe organ. I was only 6 so I didn't know I needed to know. I was in my 30s when I learned I had a very high IQ. I asked mom why she never told me and she said she didn't want me to get a swelled head. I thought I was dumb. I was different than the other kids. She kept me isolated and I never met other kids until I went to school and I never learned how to play. My entire existence appears to be secret from me. I have "bookmarks" but now everyone is dead.
Littlemiss 1 year ago
Discovered a teacher at my high school was a pdf, into animals and was torturing both his wife and ex wife at the same time. He was well liked and known for being the coolest teacher. The only reason he was discovered was because he turned himself in to the police. It was also rumored he had molested multiple students as well at the school.
Lyone Fein 1 year ago
Just because someone doesn't share information about themselves that doesn't necessarily make it a secret. It just may not come up in conversation. I currently live in a small town where noone knows that I had a career as a singer and actress when I was younger. It just doesn't come up. But it's not a secret per se.
Brian Hawley 1 year ago
A dentist in our town was arrested for selling d***s. I’d known the guy for years. Never dreamed he was a dentist.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
My grandad (my dad's dad) passed away before I was born. My dad rarely spoke of him, not because he was abusive or anything, but just because my dad was of the generation who didn't talk about their past. I found out that during WWII, my grandad was in the Royal Army Service Corps Film & Photographic Unit. He filmed and photographed many well known people including Winston Churchill and Field Marshall Montgomery. He was part of the liberation team at Belsen and did much of the filming there too. Every time I see a documentary with footage from the war, or if I see any photos in a museum I wonder if they were taken by my grandad.
John Nelson 1 year ago
Worked for a charity for a few years in an office building we shared with another agency. Talked with one of the ladies from the other agency quite often, got to be office friends in a way. Found out after a couple years that she used to be Tinkerbell at Disney World!
Zoe's Mom 1 year ago
A friend of 6 years passed away last year. (2023) While cleaning out her home, found out she was gay and had many health issues. I don't know why she felt she couldn't tell me she was gay when she knew I was friends with a lesbian couple. It kind of hurt that she didn't tell me but she had her reasons. I have her dog and still miss her terribly.
Amy S 1 year ago (edited)
I'm very sorry for your loss. I don't know you or your friend but she may not have felt like she couldn't tell you, she might not have felt like she needed to tell you because it did not defined her. I'm attracted to both men and women but there are plenty of people who don't know because it doesn't come up in conversation. To me it's as important as what pizza toppings I prefer. I guess people assume I'm straight but that really shouldn't be our default assumption.
Load More Replies... Magenta Blu 1 year ago
I don't have friends. I got tired of pretending to bond with someone only for discovering that bond means nothing for people. All of them were very happy to be around me when I had something to give, money to pay for amenities, or a car to drive them where they need. But when c.rap happened in my life i realized everyone suddenly was very busy or sick or something. So i discovered friendship is only a fantasy like unicorns and fairies, good for fiction, but simply not real.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
Not really a secret, but it wasn't until after he died suddenly in an accident that I found out a friend I'd known since childhood had been heavily involved in the local filmmaking scene and worked on the sets of dozens of movies. His movie buddies showed up to the funeral and I'd never met them before. For some reason he just never really talked about it; I only remember him mentioning it once when he had to leave a social gathering early to be on set for a night shoot.
Sheena Leversedge Wood 1 year ago
not really a secret, and definitely not on this scale, but I recently found out a friend of mine for over half my life who is squeamish about horror films is fascinated by true crime documentaries. that threw me a bit. fake violence. freaks out. real violence, ooooh, interesting. tell me more.
Joanne Hudson 1 year ago
After our class reunion I was asking why Jackie didn't come? Nicest guy; transferred in from Catholic school to centralized HS. Seems Jackie was killed in prison - in the state I lived in all the way across the country. He was psychopath and had killed to get in prison. My maternal grandmother's fiance was murdered. When I asked mom about it she just said she didn't know anything. Grandpa was janitor in a large church. One day when mom dropped me off to go home with him for a sleepover, he was killing it on the gigantic pipe organ. I was only 6 so I didn't know I needed to know. I was in my 30s when I learned I had a very high IQ. I asked mom why she never told me and she said she didn't want me to get a swelled head. I thought I was dumb. I was different than the other kids. She kept me isolated and I never met other kids until I went to school and I never learned how to play. My entire existence appears to be secret from me. I have "bookmarks" but now everyone is dead.
Littlemiss 1 year ago
Discovered a teacher at my high school was a pdf, into animals and was torturing both his wife and ex wife at the same time. He was well liked and known for being the coolest teacher. The only reason he was discovered was because he turned himself in to the police. It was also rumored he had molested multiple students as well at the school.
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