As you probably know, scientists distinguish five main stages of any person's perception of the inevitable: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and, finally, the last stage - acceptance. When a person has already completely resigned themselves to the inevitability of something that was so hard to fit in one's mind, with the existence of a sad truth, a new reality is thus formed. And no matter how difficult it is to admit that one's friend or relative is terminally ill, that we will never see the people closest to us again, that some of us are doomed to loneliness until the very end of our lives, sooner or later comes the realization of any sad fact. As painful as this realization may be.
A new thread appeared in the AskReddit community a few days ago, the author of which asked just one simple question: "What is a depressing truth you have made peace with?" As a result, there are over 37.2K upvotes and almost 22K comments in the thread so far. People share their innermost experiences - and often receive priceless moral support.
Bored Panda has put together a special curated list of the most touching and sincere comments, which we are sure will touch you to the core. So feel free to read to the very end of the list and, of course, express your own feelings, as support is so vitally important in any situation, no matter how sad it is.
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My dad passed away 6 weeks ago and I will NEVER see, hear, chat or get to hug him ever again & that forever is a long time.
The worst part was the occasional out-of-the-blue feeling of "I should go see my dad. I haven't seen him in a while." and then realizing that I simply can't. It's no longer an option.
I will never get back the time I have lost to depression.
Edit: I am amazed by the huge response, and appreciate your comments and the awards. Thankfully, life is mostly better for me. We can and do recover. I wish those of you in the middle of it you peace and love. Reach out for help, you are worth it.
A friendship you thought would last forever can end in an instant
I found out my so called best friend was stealing money from me and like had hundreds of pictures of underage girls on his computer. I noped out were done in a heartbeat.
The people that cause the most harm to the world will go unpunished, live happy and fulfilled lives, and die getting to do pretty much anything they ever wanted simply because they were either born into wealth or managed to acquire tons of if through nefarious means.
Or non-nefarious such as becoming an actor, model, musician and having the astonishingly good fortune of becoming rich and famous.Or rich and famous for nothing. Looking at you KUWTK. Although, they were already wealthy.
Just because you think someone is "the one", doesn't mean they think you are.
I find it more comforting than depressing but some people will see it as the opposite. I'm entirely fine with being in no relationship. It's been almost a decade since the last one and I just don't see it as the priority that others do. I'm entirely fine with just having friends and colleagues. Hell I'm happy. I just wanna toss it out there because some people might find my reasoning to be helpful in deciding their life priorities.
I realized in therapy yesterday I'm only keeping myself alive out of a sense of obligation to others. That wasn't a fun realization.
No one is coming to help
This is a huge fear. People just don't want to get involved.
The majority of the human race are narrow, deluded, arbitrary believers in fantasies, willfully ignorant about everything not immediately useful to them, violent, destructive, warlike, tribal as hell, and willing - under the right motivation or excuse - to commit any imaginable atrocity or horror on others... even their own neighbors. Humans are brutal apes with a thin veneer of civilization barely holding them back from constant genocide and cruelty.
I didn't want to believe this, and I have fought this conclusion for all of my 62 years. But I am rational, it cannot be denied. It must be accepted.
Whatever glory humans achieve, they can never truly be trusted. I cannot dismiss this any longer.
The worse part: you have to live within the algorithms set by their crazy.
That at the end of the day, the only one I can rely on is myself
My childhood is gone, and I have no good memory from that phase of my life
You are not alone in this. Make as much of your present life as you can! Do what you love most as frequently as possible, be it walking in nature, reading, chatting with friends, etc. Childhood is generally out of our control, but independent life is up to us.
Sometimes people you care deeply about will choose to drop out of your life and all you can really do is have the grace to let them
To everyone struggling with being left behind, and to everyone struggling with having to be the one to leave- I hope the pain eases for you soon.
Yep. My best friend of several decades recently dropped me and I have no idea why.
I will always fight my demons. There is no healing from it.
Being alive is expensive.
Dying is expensive too. I don't need a funeral, just throw me in the trash.
I'm aware enough to know that there is something wrong with me. But I'm not aware enough to know what it is, let alone fix it.
A sick mind cannot heal itself. Sometimes we need help from someone else. I've learned so much from therapy, and I've needed it at different times in my life, for different reasons. It was always helpful, and never a waste.
You can do everything perfectly and still fail completely.
That and
People would rather leave you than own up to what they did and they’ll never even give you a second thought. Humans, turns out, are good at lying to themselves.
I heard the first part from ST:TNG "It is possible to commit no mistakes and still lose. That is not weakness, that is life.”
No matter how hard you love someone, they can fall out of love with you and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. Took me a lot of self destruction and pain to realize it. Sometimes it just doesn’t work out.
Yeah. And while love can be brought back it takes that both are willing to really work for it. You can't bring life to a dead relationship on your own.
My grandpa just wanted to get to know me and the man I was becoming during his last year of life. Which I was too young and too selfish to realize.
My depression is very likely chronic. I'll be living with it for the rest of my life.
You can do yourself a favor by seeing a doctor. Antidepressants literally saved my life. I went on and off them when I was younger, but at this point, it’s not worth it to me to go off them.
You're completely alone inside your own head. No one will ever be able to truly feel what you feel.
That’s not true! I have the little voice in my head to keep me company!!
I'm aging nonstop
I don't like when people say 'never get old'. I don't have a choice. You can't stop it. You gotta learn to appreciate it. I've learned to appreciate my age. I'm 36, and while my back hurts in the morning, I am so much more comfortable with myself than when I was younger. I continue to become happier with who I am, and care less about the little things. While sometimes it does upset me, I try to remember that as I get older, the less F**KS I will give!
I will always have the big sad following me, I can push it down for a bit, but it will come back eventually.
I just need to remember to breathe and remember I can get past it.
I'll never be comfortable financially. I have failed every attempt. I really did try. I promise you, I did. But nothings worked for me. I just have to accept it.
There will be no cure for my spinal cord injury in my lifetime. It was initially very depressing to realise, but almost 3 years in I'm kind of okay with it.
They should cure other stuff like ALS first, and if it has to be SCI related - cure the nerve pain, or the bowel/bladder stuff. The not walking is very low on my list of priorities personally.
I'm aware of ongoing research, but have no faith in any of it. We'd have to either revolutionise neurology or be very lucky.
Chronic illness and Injuries can happen and they don’t pick convenient moments to dump on you. I just try to make the best of what I have
That one day I won’t be alive and neither will anybody I love 🥺
That my whole life has been a waste. That if I disappeared tomorrow nobody would even know or care. I used to consciously feel the existential dread that brings, but now I just kind of ignore it and keep going on with my mechanical existence.
Working at a desk, literally being tethered to a computer and phone, I feel like a zombie, a shell of my body, and all the torment I've endured over the years has left me numb and I can't even muster to do anything about it.
I’m a coward and it’s costing me.
Edit:
I read a few of the many comments, and I’ll answer a few. I’m a coward because I’m afraid of change, I’m afraid to fail and to hurt people, I’m afraid my dreams make me selfish and that I’ll step on people who are just like me if I try to pursue them. Yes, I am afraid to ask people out, and I’m afraid that someday I’ll realize that they might have been the one. I’m afraid my efforts however inconsequential are in vain. I’m afraid to stand up, for myself and for others. I was afraid of the truth, and at least I can say I got past it, because now, I am oh so intimately familiar with my flaws. I’m afraid that I have a superiority complex and act like a snob, while I am ironically afraid that I am rather stupid. I’m afraid I talk to much and I annoy everybody I talk to, and that even when they smile, in their mind they are begging me to shut up for a minute. I’m afraid that I’m a fraud, and I’m afraid that I have no right to fear these things so early in life.
I don’t see a therapist because they cost money, and I work at a gas station.
Maybe I haven’t really made peace with it. I hope to god I’m not this way forever. I know, that someday, somehow, I’ll find a way, but for now, It’s all I can do to stay in perspective and slink forward to the next day. And look forward to a future that seems oh so far beyond the reach of one with the means I posses.
Sounds like you may have an anxiety disorder. I struggle with this too.
If your parent(s) were abusive, they will be abusive to your spouse and children. Walk away so they cannot spread poison into your life anymore.
F**k that. I refuse to let anyone abuse my children. At the cost to my own life I will go down fighting to keep my children safe .
No matter how much we clean our homes it will look like we hadn't done anything within the next few days, and we're just cleaning dust off knickknacks and fretting over objects we project sentiment and such importance on that we won't be able to take with us when we die, and our inheritors may end up losing, selling or breaking in the end.
Why do we do this?
We are all loved conditionally.
I'm most likely going to die alone.
I believe there will be family and friends waiting on the other side.
The Curiosity rover was programmed to sing happy birthday to itself while alone on Mars :/
My time in Iraq was a complete waste. 3 years of my life gawn.
The world doesn’t care if you’re a good person. Matter of fact, they’re preying on *good* people.
Edit: Not just my time. Everyone that served in that war. *Especially the ones that died.* on both sides.
I know of several soldiers that brought tons of Iraqi Dinar hoping it would pay off. Well, 5 years later, here comes ISIS and wipes all that away…
A total waste of time….
This is coming from a firefighter:
If you have to perform CPR on them, it's most likely over for the patient.
I'm not sure if I've made peace with it completely, but I've accepted it at least.
Not unique to firefighters. If *anyone* has to perform CPR the chances of recovery are very low. In fact, I'd hope firefighters are better trained and that training is reinforced more often than the average first aider in the street, so a fire fighter should have a statistically *higher* recovery rate. I've just made this realisation worse for someone, haven't I? Sorry.
No matter how much you care or fight it, friends will stop talking to you
In the grand scheme of the universe, nothing we do matters. (That doesn't mean we shouldn't try to do good though).
Yup. Businesses as well. There will always be a replacement and if it goes away and never comes back, that business wasn't as important to society as the business owner thought.
i was raped as a child and i have the feeling i Will never be the person i was suppose to becom
That common sense isn’t all that common.
Sadly so true. It’s almost a rare thing lately, as is manners or being polite
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given
Justice is, and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, an ideal. You can't reach it, only try to approach it, because people are individuals and societies change. Something that feels good/is right for one person at one time may feel bad/be wrong for another one, and laws have to generalize.
You can fall out of love
I survived childhood trauma, depression which I’ve lived with many years, an abusive marriage. To then find a person who got me supported me and made me a better person, I hope I did the same for her. A true soul mate.
We had a son and were both content, then after work playing with our 4yr old she had a brain stem infarct. Survived a short time with ‘locked in syndrome’ before passing.
Life has can be so cruel sometimes and unfair. You accept this in life but persevere however you can; look for those little moments when it’s not, when it is bliss. The smile on my wife’s face upon seeing our son for the first time, those few seconds can balance some of that pain.
One thing that is inevitable is change, whether for good or bad.
I was diagnosed with ADHD as an adult. Growing up In the 90’s in a rural area they never checked for that, in fact I was pretty much labeled a problem child despite being a decent student. On top of this I didn’t mentally mature at the same pace my friends did, they were discovering stuff about themselves that I didn’t even begin to discover until I was in my 20’s. On top of that my parents just didn’t know what to do with me, I got treated pretty bad until I was in high school when my mom kind of figured there was something a little different about me but most days she brushed it off. It took me getting counseling through the army to get diagnosed. Looking back it all really made sense that I had ADHD, especially since my nieces and nephews all seem to have it.
Wondering what, if anything, the military did upon your diagnosis. My son wants to join, but has ADHD and everything I can find says he would have to be off meds for 3 years to enlist. It's his fervent goal, so I'm curious if this is true or not.
It's completely pointless what you do. The world around you is falling apart. Climate change, war... Famine, too less water. And everyone around you just lives on. They ignore it, live in their happy, little bubble because it's not them who suffer. The people who want change and do something are just too less to make a difference.
What can we do ? I would love to do something but the bad is so big it feels pointless to even try
You can be young and completely healthy and a disease can come out of nowhere and take it away from you. I know firsthand :-(
My "silent but deadly" farts aren't always as silent as I think they are.
I’m 53 and will be single the rest of my life
If you want to be single, that's cool. I am and I enjoy it. However, if you want to meet someone, then you have to leave your house for a start. Scroll up and read the other posts on depression. Physical activities like walking, exploring a mall, going to a bar, etc., will help you. Really, just do it at least once a week.
I will never get over being SA and I will never go to the police. I have lost 20 yrs to it, became and alcoholic and nearly lost my child. I have finally accepted all the above but it took far to long and far to much of my life...
Someone you trust and that you think would never do anything bad to you can turn on you in the next day
one day all my friends will go our separate ways, we will eventually stop talking
That ignorance is truly bliss. To not realize how screwed up everything is. To be able to trudge through life and not know how miserable of an existence you lead. Just be dumb and happy.
The more I read the news and become aware of the world, the more depressing it gets.
That my social anxiety has very little chance of ever going away.
I struggle with this too. I've just learned to accept it and make peace with it. It does help.
I'm not that attractive and that's okay, if I feel hot I am hot!!
I’ll never be okay with myself and my existence
Depression is caused by looking within yourself too much. Do the following. (1). Practice mindfulness or clearing your mind of thoughts. (2). Join a charity. (3). Overcome social phobia. Deliberately walk slowly through busy places and face your fear of people. (Yes, that is the cause). Source: me, a suicide survivor. Start by leaving your house. Then walk down the street. Then walk through a mall without buying anything. Then walk to a bar or cafe and get a drink or coffee and sit and read your phone. Do this every week and do not let yourself off the hook with any excuses. it WILL go.
I will be lonely for all life even though I am surrounded by people
You are lonely because you do not talk with people. Try ask someone about themselves. Try it every week. It will help.
When finding someone to trust, i learned that people will prove to you just how untrustworthy they are with their tone when you speak with them for one of the first times since you met.
I would like to learn more about this. I don't know what I sound like to people, involuntarily. The way I was raised I question what I say and how I say it is correct all the time, and my family is so private I have to be so careful what I say about them.
That the world my son will grow up in will be not a very good one, at best. I wish I had more hope, but I really don't see anything or anyone (big corps, one percent, extreme religion and politics, anti-vax, etc) doing anything that will set this world on the right path before we lose everything. It is so hard to swallow. All I can do is try and prepare him the best I can
Run for office. https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/registering-political-party/
I’ll never get to meet my mom
That my entire nuclear family all died young and suddenly/unexpectedly. I do now have my husband and my cat, both of whom I love with every fiber of my being even if the thought of losing them sometimes paralyzes me with fear and sadness.
Life is moving too fast. Everyone around is growing up and I'm not ready.
i'm boring as f**k and i'll die alone. i just accepted this fact
I have spent a lifetime collecting things that are important to me. Now older and realizing that it’s time to start giving these things away to people/organizations who value them, it’s a hard discovery that nobody really wants most of this stuff
How my love feels about me
The only thing certain in life is death.
The only thing certain in life is de@th
EXPONENTIAL POPULATION OVERLOAD
If we keep on breeding as we are, there will not be enough water, food and housing to sustain the exponential population growth. There will come a point, in the not-too-distant future, when this will have a catastrophic effect on your descendants. But it doesn't affect you, right?
Yes, I agree with this. There are technologies as in vitro systems or hydroponics, yet many suffer from famines. There is the science, then we turn something “useful” in for attempting against others! Honestly, I do have faith for a better world, but we need to wake up. For me many people are inviting us every day to throw us from a bridge, whenever they minimize climate change, famines, natural disasters, water pollution, when politics promise that if they are elected they would give us everything! And they keep postponing this kind of things for their very own interests. That's why I decided I don't want biological kids I won't give innocents that could be used only to fulfil the wishes of the wicked!
If your parent(s) were abusive, they will be abusive to your spouse and children. Walk away so they cannot spread poison into your life anymore.
That common sense isn’t all that common.
The only thing certain in life is death.
That we are all victims of propaganda. The elite and rich control what we have access to. Humans are just advanced animals, no more - no less. The universe works in mysterious ways ONLY because we lack the capacity to understand.
Sometimes it's the people you are the closest too that can hurt you the most. In my case, my adult daughter.
I’m worthless and I see no future for myself. I’m aware I’m self destructive and have problems but I don’t care enough about myself to fix it. My life is good and I have no reason to feel like this, which makes me hate myself even more.
Depression is caused by looking within yourself too much. Do the following. (1). Practice mindfulness or clearing your mind of thoughts. (2). Join a charity. (3). Overcome social phobia. Deliberately walk slowly through busy places and face your fear of people. (Yes, that is the cause). Source: me, a suicide survivor. Start by leaving your house. Then walk down the street. Then walk through a mall without buying anything. Then walk to a bar or cafe and get a drink or coffee and sit and read your phone. Do this every week and do not let yourself off the hook with any excuses. it WILL go.
You will get in to more trouble for fighting back against your abuser/bully than they will for abusing you…. But it’s worth it!!
I will never get to go up to my parents and hug both of them ever again they divorced and I’ve been diagnosed with depression and anxiety I don’t know if my life will ever be the same.
Life is moving too fast. Everyone around me is growing up and I'm not ready.
It's completely pointless what you do. The world around you is falling apart. Climate change, war... Famine, too less water. And everyone around you just lives on. They ignore it, live in their happy, little bubble because it's not them who suffer. The people who want change and do something are just too less to make a difference...
Run for office. https://www.fec.gov/help-candidates-and-committees/registering-political-party/
Not knowing how my affair feels about me
I have never really been loved, not even by my own mother. I will never know how it feels
That is what we call an irrational thought. Depression is caused by looking within yourself too much. Do the following. (1). Practice mindfulness or clearing your mind of thoughts. (2). Join a charity. (3). Overcome social phobia. Deliberately walk slowly through busy places and face your fear of people. (Yes, that is the cause). Source: me, a suicide survivor. Start by leaving your house. Then walk down the street. Then walk through a mall without buying anything. Then walk to a bar or cafe and get a drink or coffee and sit and read your phone. Do this every week and do not let yourself off the hook with any excuses. it WILL go.
You can try your best, make the right decisions, sacrifice today's easy pleasures for tomorrow's fulfilling gains and still lose it all through no fault of your own. This is life. All you can do is try to mitigate the risks and enjoy what you have.
My parents divorced I will never be able to hug both of them at the same time and nasogastric far I’ve been diagnosed with anxiety depression and anger issues I don’t know if my life will ever get back on track
My live is s**t my parents divorced I have anxiety depression and f*****g anger issues will my life ever get back on f*****g track?
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Justice is, and ALWAYS HAS BEEN, an ideal. You can't reach it, only try to approach it, because people are individuals and societies change. Something that feels good/is right for one person at one time may feel bad/be wrong for another one, and laws have to generalize.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Realizing that justice went from being a right, to a theory, to a concept, then merely to a word. And that in reality, it’s become such a disregarded “right” for so long that it’s now normalized, and there are so many who are part of the system in one way or another (including those who claim to advocate for someone’s rights) that they are comfortable brazenly and openly committing on a daily basis, it’s now a given.
Most of this list is less coming to terms and more a worrying display of the lack of mental health support available to these individuals. I read a lot of these as cries for help.
Yeah, a lot of them sound clinically depressed and unable to get any help for it.
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For anyone who actually got through this, I don’t want you guys to end sad so I found this. https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-baby-hippo-image21401803 Pictures of hippos
I've come to terms that my baby boy died of sids. And I'm now in therapy, on meds and doing much better. Now i have mental space to help my husband and children deal with their grief too. This post helped alot. Thank you BP.
This is heartbreaking *and* life affirming (and not a contradiction in terms!). I don't mean to be flippant - I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss, but you have described how well you are now doing as well as being in a position to help the others who have not yet reached your level of acceptance. This is truly coming to terms with something awful and I wish you all the very best internet hugs from a stranger can offer.
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Most of this list is less coming to terms and more a worrying display of the lack of mental health support available to these individuals. I read a lot of these as cries for help.
Yeah, a lot of them sound clinically depressed and unable to get any help for it.
Load More Replies... For anyone who actually got through this, I don’t want you guys to end sad so I found this. https://www.dreamstime.com/stock-photos-baby-hippo-image21401803 Pictures of hippos
I've come to terms that my baby boy died of sids. And I'm now in therapy, on meds and doing much better. Now i have mental space to help my husband and children deal with their grief too. This post helped alot. Thank you BP.
This is heartbreaking *and* life affirming (and not a contradiction in terms!). I don't mean to be flippant - I'm so dreadfully sorry for your loss, but you have described how well you are now doing as well as being in a position to help the others who have not yet reached your level of acceptance. This is truly coming to terms with something awful and I wish you all the very best internet hugs from a stranger can offer.
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