Your romantic partner is typically someone you think you know quite well. The two of you share deep parts of your life, building more and more trust as the relationship progresses. However, as one viral Reddit post has recently shown, even the closest people keep secrets from one another.
It all started when u/dusty_ninja asked other users on the platform, "What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?" The answers immediately came pouring in, ranging from icky and cruel to sad and heartbreaking. Here are some of the most memorable ones.
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I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. It was early in our marriage when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly and she was emotionally fragile. She was very drunk and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up. I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you're trying to hurt each other.
You are a decent human for not bringing that up even at the end of your marriage
Sometimes we feel a desire to "unburden ourselves" to someone we just started dating. But they aren't necessarily interested in a long-term relationship and/or feeling obliged to keep our secrets. Trying to connect with another person but keeping a healthy distance can be tricky.
Dating coach Hayley Quinn, who helps men and women to build confidence and get their mojo back, told Bored Panda that "it's good to be authentic with people we meet, and be our 'true selves' so we can work out if there's a connection. However, you can miss the mark of authenticity and crash land into oversharing if you do this before you've had a chance to build trust."
To explain her point, Quinn invited us to imagine revealing our deepest, darkest secret to the barista who serves us our morning coffee. "You wouldn't do it, right? With social relationships we have to phase into openness and before we share, make sure the other person is on the same page. Make sure you check out if they're happy with where the conversation is going by making statements like 'let me know if I'm going off on a tangent here' or 'you can tell me if this is too much information for date 2.' This also brings levity to the interaction. Finally, make sure that interaction is 2-sided. You don't want to dump all your emotions on a person without being willing to also hear them out."
He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. So I went and bought a small bottle of shark teeth from the gift shop, spread them out all over a strip of beach we were hanging at and marveled at every shark tooth he brought me. I can never tell him the truth.
I cheated on my wife....when she wasn't looking at a family pot luck.
My wife and her sister put their peanut butter cupcakes side by side on the table and her sister makes crazy good cupcakes. My sister in law made peanut butter cupcakes with real peanut butter filling AND filled it with Reese's Peanut Butter chips. My wife only put a tiny bit of peanut butter topping on hers with no PB filling. I kept making excuses to go back to the dessert table and scarf down my sis in laws cupcakes especially when little kids were near it to make it look like they were eating most of the cupcakes. Didn't even touch my wife's cupcakes.
According to Sheri Stritof's article on VeryWell Mind, which has been reviewed and approved by psychiatrist Carly Snyder, we do not have to share everything with another person if things get serious as well. We have the right to privacy in any relationship, including with our spouse, partner, and family. In a healthy commitment, both parties have to acknowledge the sense of emotional and physical privacy needed for their mental well-being, otherwise, ironically, a couple ends up limiting their intimacy with one another, not enhancing it.
Hayley Quinn agrees to this line of thinking. "Being in a relationship is not a contract to disclose everything about our lives. For a lot of people it's important to have built a degree of trust before being candid: you may not want to tell someone about your past on date 1, but by 2 months in you may feel more comfortable to be open," she said.
"The important question to ask yourself when it comes to when and if you should disclose information is whether it would make a material difference to the relationship today. Things like health conditions, criminal records, children all will have a bearing on whether someone is happy to continue building a relationship with you. Also remember that ultimately you need acceptance from your partner, so rather than fearing you're going to put them off, prioritize instead finding someone that supports you totally."
I’m from south Louisiana and my dad is in a Mardi Gras Crew. Every year he’s on a float throwing beads.
My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited and it was at my dad’s parade. Normally people on the floats throw the “good beads” to kids or women that will flash them.
I told my husband that if you yell “throw me something mister!” loud enough the people on the float will give you the “good beads.”
I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee “THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!”
My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. When we were leaving the parade my husband was flexing all his nice new beads and thinks Mardi Gras is the best thing ever.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him that I told my dad to do that. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.
I freakin HATE Dungeons & Dragons.
It bores me to tears.
Yet I've orchestrates an elaborate lie that gives the illusion I love it as much as he does and once a month I have to spend 5 hours sitting through a session bored to tears.
I do this simply because its one of the few hobbies in his life he gets to enjoy and I want him to have someone to play it with.
It's been going on for 5 years now, and I have no way out lol
It's OK though, the amount of joy I see he gets from playing it gives me comparable joy. So I don't mind that much.
Be warned, I had an ex who had what I thought was a boring hobby and indulged joining in with it for years before I finally confessed…he told me that he thought it was my hobby and I enjoyed it and was just putting up with it for me. So we basically both spent two years (and money) on a hobby that neither of us actually enjoyed.
She farts in her sleep like a wild bear.
Secrets that can hurt your marriage are ones concerning:
- Having an affair;
- Job problems;
- Keeping an addiction or substance use habits hidden;
- Legal problems;
- Lending money;
- Lying about how you spend money;
- Not paying bills;
- Not revealing an illness;
- Seeing family and friends secretly.
But there are some things you might consider keeping to yourself, like:
- The exact number of people you've slept with;
- How great your ex was;
- Finding your partner's best friend really hot;
- Hating someone in their family or close friend circle.
At the end of the day, every couple decides where to draw the line. They both, however, need to play by the same rules.
Sometimes I buy a chocolate bar when I go to the grocery store and eat it before i get home…
Omg I never realized you were supposed to wait until you got home.
Not that dark, but I really really did not like her wedding dress...
I have anxiety attacks when my SO is away. We joke about me believing he's dead when I don't hear from him often enough, but it's real. Like hyperventilating, heart racing, crying, rocking back and forth-real.
He loves going on roadtrips and does landscape photography. I can't ruin that for him.
I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I have thought of suicide but I can’t do that to my husband and kids. I don’t want my husband to turn into a care giver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.
You need to tell him and - depending on their ages - possibly the kids too so plans can be put in place and everyone is aware in case this thing suddenly accelerates throughout your body
This person probably has no idea this has been posted on bored panda. You can press the link at the bottom of the post and it will take you to where they shared it on Reddit and you could comment there. It looks like they have been given some good advice.
Load More Replies...I live with chronic pain, am disabled, no longer working, and the quality of life at age 47 is far below what my family deserve. I have felt, and still feel, the same. Suicide would be so much easier for ME, but I tell myself it will only end MY suffering, but cause incredible pain to my husband of 25 yrs and 20 yo daughter. I would be leaving them to carry the burden of what I carry everyday, and I wouldn't wish my pain on an animal, much less those THAT I couldn't live without. I CAN EMPATHIZE, I HEAR YOU AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE FEELING. I did talk to my doctor and have appointment to talk with a therapist. I don't know if that will help my deepest, darkest feeling but I have to grab for hope somewhere. If you want to talk to someone who can relate, know that someone else out here knows your pain and will not judge, I will listen. MESSAGE ME TO TALK, WE ARE NOT ALONE, AND SOMETIMES THAT DOES EASE THE MENTAL PAIN AND GUILT. IM HERE!
Thank you Staci. Suicide doesn't stop pain, it just passes it to someone else.
Load More Replies...As someone with progressive Multiple Sclerosis and so facing self-euthanasia (not suicide) I’d recommend talking to a professional to work through your perceptions of your own limitations. You need to accept your reality before you can help others come to terms with it. It’s lovely to think he might embrace you and tell you everything will be ok…but that’s too much to ask. He will be in shock, confused and have questions about the future in practical terms. You need to deal with your own grief for the future you wanted before you can shoulder his grief too. Work on it, help him (yes, help him, this is now happening to him too and you’ve had more practice), then get on with living your best life for every minute that you can…hopefully with an informed and supportive partner…but if not, live every minute you have making yourself happy. I wish you a warrior energy to face it all.
My opinion only. What if your husband loves you so much that he would have no reservations about becoming your caregiver? You obviously love him, so give him a chance to step up to the plate. He may choose to walk away, and that would be terrible, but he may want to stay. You won't know until you tell him. After that settles, decide when and how to tell the kids.
I hope you never find out how naive that statement is.
Load More Replies...I've got two severe progressive gen defects. I'm 45 years and need8ng more and more help. While my body is in more pain (opiates work) and I'm so exhausted. Ive hadgood conversations with my gp about euthanasia. And he understands my request not now,, but there shall be lines I don't want to cross. People in my inner circle know about this and they all understand. For now life has more fun to offer that the unbearable pain. I don't want to get old. I think getting 50 5 yers fom now, shall be long enough.
Ask about scoliosis surgery now, while you're as young as you are! Take this step for yourself! Show you believe in a brighter future!!!
Go to doctor - ask about new treatments - there are biologics, new things that can help with the arthritis and especially with pain. Don't suffer without fighting for yourself and your family by trying to get help.
As someone who is on a road similar to yours. I have OI, osteogenesis imperfecta. It's left me with a situation physically where I have to acknowledge that pain is something I will always battle as horrible as that sounds to you right now. But there are therapies, where pain medication is administered in ways that do not leave you a zombie, and if you do have the surgery, it will help. I had it when I was 18, full upper and lower fixation. There is much joy ahead for you. You are important to your family and trust me, you are not hiding anything. I'm going to pray for you Molly, and go seek out the help that is there to see your quality of life improves. I'm 54, and yes I have to acknowledge that I can't go as hard as the others, but what I can do, is enjoy everything I do absolutely
I have RA, other autoimmune diseases, and Ehlers Danlos (a genetic, chronic pain inducing connective tissue disease). I have been in chronic pain for about 30 years and obviously developed some depression and anxiety. There is no magic pill but there is hope. There are plenty of crappy doctors out there who won't listen to you, but some will listen and can help find treatments that help with the pain. I was also in a wheelchair for awhile, unable to walk. I know that I need help to clean my place and can't carry heavy objects or walk more than a few blocks. These are my current physical limitations but they do not have to limit my enjoyment of life. I volunteer with an Adaptive Sailing Program and although my life is not where I would have imagined it would be at the age of 45, I am content and grateful. Getting my physical pain under control was paramount to getting to this place. Low Dose Naltrexone and steroids are my go to (as well as OTC's) and I had to fire many pain doctors and decide what I wanted for myself. I have a therapist and am part of a support group (DBSA) for my mood disorder which meets via ZOOM. It can suck being disabled at times but every human is going to die someday. I used to work as a Hospice and physical rehab nurse and nobody wants to have to become dependent on others. Sometimes that is just how it goes. It is not a weakness, it is life. Many times the intimacy and trust to let someone help when help is needed is beneficial for all parties involved. Sorry to hear you are struggling and sending you and everyone here on Bored Panda positive vibes and love.
Be kinder to yourself please 🙏 its okay to feel like this first of all! Second of all, you will find a way through it and you will do this for your kids ❤️thirdly though, I think talking to someone who specialises in chronic pain might be able to help. They have helped me see things a different way and focus on the small wins, the good things even on the darkest of days, its not easy to do alone xxx
He won't be a care giver--he will be someone who cares for you helping you get through your day. If he loves you then he wants to do it more than he wants to not do it.
See your GP for treatment, There are lots that can be done to help you, I also suffer from Osteoarthritis, but I manage my pain through medication to help rebuild my bones. Than and exercise. I am 67 and still working 4 days a week.
I am really really sorry for your condition. I wish there could be something done.
You shouldn't have to live with pain for others, but you love them, so I understand. Perhaps you and your family should get into therapy to discuss all the possible alternatives. Then you can make a decision knowing exactly how your loved ones feel.
Don't be controlling. It may be your husband's finest hour; a privilege and a joy for him to be your caregiver. Chances are, he'd rather do that then live with your suicide. Meanwhile, you can be a beacon of hope and courage for millions of others who suffer. Ask for help. There could be ways of coping that you've never imagined.
Once you tell him, you'll be amazed at how much he supports you. He doesn't only have to become your care-giver. I suffer depression and my wife looks after me through the bad patches. She has Crohn's and sets aside her discomfort to care for me. I hate it, but we ARE a couple. You will be ok, in spite of your situation. You must never surrender.
Suicide is a horrible selfish way to die and it impacts the children much much more than people understand. They live with soooooo many unanswered questions. BUT , bless them,,, some people see it as their only way out. I will be 100% honest and say that it had crossed my mind more than once a few weeks back as I was in a lot of pain that seemed to be getting worse by the minute. 5 full weeks of complete hell trying any tablet I could, creams, lotions etc. I know I said it's a horrible selfish way to die BUT I understand 100000% WHY people do it. My mum committed suicide when I was 12 years old. She couldn't cope any more and it took me over 20 years to realise just how angry I was with her and all the questions I asked myself. It was only as an adult suffering depression that I understood why she done it.
I have same issues w spine an arthritis. My husband doesn't know the pain I'm in daily. If I go to a doctor he screams that I better not get any pills as his ex was addicted and ruined their marriage and od'ed after their divorce 2 months later. I worry about going to the doctor as I know I'll need pain meds and surgery. I don't want to burden him either w my suffering. Or my family. I know those thoughts. I have one person I talk to and they let me talk. They mention something off topic that interests me and somehow get me through the pit and back up and excited on a topic. It's small serotonin boosts that help. Sure the pain is there but I realize there is another day after today. But still the pain comes and depression too. Kinda
As a person with severe rheumatoid arthritis and Still's Disease, who lives in petty much constant pain, I truly feel this. I've had it since I was 7 years old and will have my 40th birthday in two weeks. I know the despair and hopelessness that such health issues bring. I attempted suicide in 2015. Seeing a therapist helped a lot.
give them a chance to show their love, you are depriving them of an emotional experience. Besides: they're your buddies, your team. No need to carry this all alone. Also: who's going to make morbid jokes with you if they don't know? Love and best wishes to you.
i related to this very much. i have a degenerative disease that was diagnosed several years ago. he knew about it and, at the time, gave me the 'for better, for worse, in sickness and in health' line. fast forward 13 years and he became a different person because i couldn't do the things i used to do. but, he never became my caregiver. discovered he was using my illness as a sympathy ploy to hook up with other women. after 32 years, i was out of there. i may have a chronic disease but i am no one's fool. did i still love him? yes, but i guess no enough to turn a blind eye to his infidelity and duplicity.
TALK NOW. Please. Not talking makes it worse when you hit the decision point.
Oh, I'm sure he would be there for you through it all. Some men are born caregivers.
I feel ya sister. I'm a Type-1 Diabetic, have been most of my life and it's starting to catch up to me. I don't have a family or husband, partially for that very reason.
You deserve every love, loyalty, and care in the world. Find a confidante and take another look at your options. Maybe you want to open up.
I feel this in my soul! Im 38 & have had 1 back surgery 10yrs ago. Found out i have another bad disc & pinched nerve but its not as bad as last time. Last time surgery was unavoidable. I already have signs of arthritis in back & hips & carpal tunnel in both hands. B/c of this, staying in shape is hard which would be fine if diabetes didnt run in my family. My dad had a stroke in his 40's. Uncle died of heart attack at 72 after having his 1st at 40. Grandmother had/died from APS. My mom also died at 59 from uterine cancer. Sisters have both had everything removed. I had no insurance so i havent seen a dr in about 12yrs, let alone thought of a hysterectomy. I dont think i'll live to see 60 but at least i have life insurance at the moment. Because of all that, i was my maternal grandmother's caregiver for 7yrs. Dont want to put that on anyone.
He wouldn't want to be a care-giver, but I'm sure he willingly would be: that is the very nature of a loving partner. I feel their anxiety, but they need to trust that their husband will not think of it as though they have imposed their illness and disability as some punishment.
I'm so, so sorry that you have been dealt these kind of challenges. I hope you are in a position where you can find the right physical and psychological support. You deserve to have a better way of dealing with your reality, and your kids and husband deserve not to lose you. I really wish you a better way forward.
The most important thing to remember is that science is continually "evolving" especially medicine. Second you have children who absolutely need you in their lives and you have a husband who loves YOU not your hand or your spine, the complete package. I will keep you in my thoughts and remember, you are not isolated, many people care about and for you.
There are new meds coming on the market that may cure arthritis. I know how you feel. It is destroying my joints. I am in a lot of pain all the time too. Exercise or physical therapy helps. It strengthens the muscles around the affected area and helps your joints. Have a professional work with you that understands your limitations and can come up with things you can do to feel better. My knees are toast but surgery will help. Ask your kids for help when you need it. When I was getting worse and had a hard time getting up and down I would ask students to pick up things I dropped. They were always very happy to help out. No judgement no worries.
You are NOT alone. Had a very honest conversation relating to these options recently with my lived ones. It wouldn't be easier for anyone left behind. Take life one minute at a time if you have to. I really feel for you.
They're not going to read this, all of these posts are from reddit. Why are so many people confused by this?
Load More Replies...No! Suicide is never the answer. There are many other solutions you can find.
You are basically saying “my god could heal you OP but he chooses not to”
Load More Replies...That the real root of my trust issues stem from how I was sexually assaulted by my extremely religious godparents’ son when I was 11-12. It first started out with comments about my body, how I was “filling out”, then it evolved from there. My parents would send me to their house for whole summers and I particularly remember that one, my mom came to visit and I practically begged her to take me home. She adamantly refused even after I told her I was not comfortable and was scared and she still left me with them. I guess from there I just slowly stopped trusting the ones closest to me.
I ate all 4 sleeves of oreos in one sitting.
If that's the worst secret you have, you are rocking life! I salute you.
Exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. She knows I was into drugs and some other dumb stuff, but she doesn't know the depths of depravity I delved to in order to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.
I was crying, and told my boyfriend someone had kissed me.
He asked if it was his 30 year old cousin.
I said yes.
He asked me over and over if anything else happened.
I was 15. I said no.
I lied.
Just how much I depend on her. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Even now we're hardly apart since we both work from home.
She doesn't know just how sad I get when she goes away. I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies, everything. Once she gets back though, I'm alright again.
That I feel trapped and I hate myself and my life and I really just want to disappear and move away and leave my wife and three kids so they can finally be free of me, I feel like such a burden and so guilty that my kids love me, they’d be better off without me.
It sounds like you need some help. I know the feeling realy wel i have been there , but know this your kids always need you .find someone to talk to get help
She's my ex now, but, she had just revealed to me some very, uh, confidential information, info I understand I'm one of only four people to know. She asked me if I have any deep secrets like that. I lied and told her I didn't, but the truth is, my grandmother by marriage (no blood relation) sexually harassed and abused me as a preteen and teenager. Literally nobody irl knows. I've never told anyone.
I hope you have come to realise that this is not your fault, no mater what. please talk to someone x
My wife asked me not to pee in the shower. I told her I wouldn't but I do it every time I shower.
I’m bisexual.
I am able to talk about many morbid things I have experienced and witnessed, I could be open about how many girls I have slept with, but if the truth got out that I once had a boyfriend years ago and I still find men attractive, I am afraid that it will be over.
I have experienced enough rejection from women whenever I opened up about my sexuality
I suffer from chronic depression. My SO is super sweet and supportive, but I am afraid of unloading too much of my crazy on him. I keep dark thoughts and feelings from him all the time, I'd make him miserable if I didn't.
He knows, btw, I am not keeping all of it from him, just a lot of the excessive stuff.
I'm thinking of divorce.
My wife is scared of me. If I am working on something and I swear or vent my frustration. She runs to me (usually I am alone) and wants to know how to fix it.
Then she leaves the house when I say I am just mad that: I burned my hand. Toilet is clogged. I stripped a screw and need to drill it out.
She told me this weekend that when I am mad she gets scared, and that just broke something in me since I can't fully process it.
I don't know why, I have never even raised my voice to her. But she cringes and covers her ears whenever a loud noise occurs. I spoke to my parents and friends, they think it sounds like she has been abused in the past. But she doesn't want to talk about it, and when we disagree we don't even get to argue. She just locks herself away from me and our kids.
We are in marriage counselling because I haven't been happy for a long time. But she was arguing with the Therapist about what I really feel and how I should take vacations alone since I have had panic attacks on vacation before and that ruins them for me (or maybe her).
I don't know what to do, but I am tired of walking on eggshells.
Just my unprofessional thoughts, but it sounds like theres some past trauma. When you get angry, it triggers the same response to someone in her past that pointed their anger towards her. I have that reaction when my wife gets frustrated. Its a primal kind of fear. I feel this unholy fear either to fix it to make the anger go away or run and hide. She doesnt know any of this.
Got someone pregnant in highschool, gave up custody so I wouldn't have to pay child support. They all died in a car crash 5 years later.
I'm not sure I actually love him, or if I just don't want to be alone or start a new relationship from scratch.
That I'm scared of him.
I once pooped in their garage because I was waiting for her to come home and let me in. Blamed it on the raccoons.
Declining mental health and everyday drug addiction. I wish I hadn't been so good at hiding it.
I needed help.
I hope you're okay now. Healing after addiction takes a long time, but it's a valuable gift to yourself.
I hooked up with a professor of mine in college and after that she would pimp me out to her colleagues. That’s not the label she would have given it, but that’s what it was.
Nothing dark, but I hide pints of ice cream in the back of the freezer. If I don't hide it then it's gone. My girlfriend has 0 self control and will eat the entire pint in one sitting. I like to spread it out so I can have an enjoyable snack a few days in a row.
Sometimes I'll even buy one with gluten in it intentionally so she can't have it. She has celiac and can't have gluten.
I hate that she compares me to ex husband and i have to prove her wrong over and over again....i hate that i have to pay for is past mistakes. Like ugh starting to wonder if i can kepp doing this....i really do love her but its making me depressed
Never blame people for the mistakes others made. I had a friend once who kept telling me that I‘d just leave him like all his other friends before. I liked him and had no intention of ending our friendship and continually reassured him as much. Yet he kept insisting day after day after day that I would be just like the others and would drop him. After a year or two of this, I couldn’t take it anymore and indeed ended our friendship. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
That there is literally nothing about myself that I actually like and I honestly have no idea what he sees in me...
All the men I've been with before him (only three) made it crystal clear they were with me because I was nice, supportive, safe, and convenient. Because I put up with [them]. They weren't actually attracted to me — just what I could do for them. ... It's hard to build confidence when my whole life has been about what's (objectively) wrong with me when everyone around me, including my romantic partners, compliment everything except my appearance. Now I'm in my mid-30s, and this is the first one who I think might actually be attracted to me. It feels too good to be true.
When you look at you, you see all the faults and blemishes but when he looks at you, he sees beyond that. Don't question it, just accept it. He loves you inside and out. Perhaps it's time you learnt to love yourself too?
That I’m unsure if I will ever be able to express and maintain deep emotional intimacy with anyone
Not my gf now, but she didn’t know the extent or details of my childhood struggles. she knew I grew up in the projects up until age 10, but I think because i never wore it like a badge of honor or carried myself in the stereotypical way of someone who would come from that environment, many people think i was unaffected. and i never bothered to share those details because i never wanted to make a sob story out of a situation that i was blessed to get out of and that many people are still currently in. but that living situation has taken a toll on me in various ways that’d i love to expound upon for those who are interested.
Her father once told me : if he could go back in time, he would never have dated her mother and have kids with her. Was pretty shocking thing to hear while on vacation with the whole step family. The guy has Asperger's. Weird family. The girl left me cold turkey a few months later after 7 years together, and i still didn't even think about telling her that story.
My mom hated my ex (lets just call her Sarah) for how bad she hurt me when we broke up. My mom passed away about a week after seeing Sarah at the mall, and she gave Sarah dirty looks and a cold shoulder. Sarah and I saw each other soon after my mom passed, and she broke down and told me that based on their recent encounter, she was sure my mom hated her. I lied to her and said “no, she was just really sick at the end, She didn’t hate you.” Sarah and I are still good friends to this day and I will never tell her the truth that my mom hated her guts.
That I had an abortion at 16.
This is my opinion only, but unless it resulted in you being unable to have kids while he wants them, I don't think he needs to know.
I'm an iv drug user on and off. I work long contacts in isolation far away from home and I use a lot when I'm away. I clean up when I'm going home so my wife can't tell but I'm still not quite 100% when I'm home with her.
She's struggling with stuff and it breaks my heart I can't meet her needs but I need this job to pay for our future. I'm trying to quit the drugs, it's easy when I'm home but as soon as I'm alone in this stupid little hole in the wall for work 4 weeks at a time I'm back to using. I don't know how to tell her.
This is from my POV not Doofenshmirtz's
My father is an AIDS patient,he did not reveal it to anyone and married my mom.And as a result I was born,unaffected,my mother also is unaffected.(happened in 2002)
(To clarify the doubt from my father a DNA test was performed and I am his son but without the virus..)
I don't love her and feel as though I never will.
I guess this is about their partner? if so you need to be honest, not just for her but also for you, you will grow old regretting what could have been
I once found a very good little chocolate cake in the half price section of the local super market. I originally bought it so I and the lady in the house could have it for dessert, but I ended up eating the whole thing myself.
What an incredibly f*cked up, dysfunctional white trash background I come from.
My girlfriend soon to be fiancé has no idea of my extreme mental health struggle in the past how I used to be medicated and even checked myself into a hospital when I was extremely suicidal from said medications.
I’ve since been fine and haven’t had a issue of anxiety or depression in years BUT it still hurts me knowing my brain could be so dark. When she talks about depression or anxiety she just doesn’t understand because she’s never had to deal with it.
So I’ve kept it to myself to not put my old burden on her. Maybe one day I’ll bring it up.
I hope you do talk about it. Depression is an illness, not a weakness and it's not something to be ashamed of.
That I tripled money I put in crypto this year, but not cashing out for few years, if I told her how much we have in crypto she would nag me to sell.
Cryptocurrency can increase or decrease in value, but the risk of losing money is outweighed by the chance of gaining more money. You'd be a fool to sell just because your partner wants to go on a shopping spree.
Well, it doesn't matter anymore since we're divorced now--but--a few years ago, I banged my wife's cousin one night when she was in town and my wife was at work.
Not taking away from the fact I was wrong in doing that, but, considering our divorce happened because it came out that my wife had cheated on me MULTIPLE times over the years (she has admitted to "several dozen" times)...I really don't feel bad about it.
I had a total mental breakdown in 2017 caused by stress. Never told anyone, it's the worst my mental health has ever been and I'm afraid of getting like that again and not getting help
That I've been planning my goodbyes for quite some time now. We've been in and out of this relationship many times across 5 years. I guess we really can't turn back from some mistakes.
There has to come an end to planning and a start to leaving when it's clear that things are not working and that it will never work right for you. No use wasting your time on illusions and regrets over what could have been.
I think I'm pulling 90% of the weight in our relationship.
Granted, we're only coming up on one year together right now, but I always (and I mean ALWAYS) text them first, compliment them extensively, give them physical attention and affection, plan our dates, and drive and pay for everything. Plus I seem to get out-prioritized by a lot of stuff. So we always do what they want when they want. I simply need to work around their needs all the time.
I'm accepting it because they're exceedingly beautiful inside and out and I don't think they're secure enough to do any of what I do themselves. I'm happy with them and don't want to be too judgemental about it, but wow it looks like a struggle on paper.
I keep having creeping thoughts of myself with other people. I don’t like them, I don’t want those thoughts, but they happen regardless.
I haven’t told my partner that all my nice clothes and designer shoes are replicas from China
Slept with my ex girlfriend’s sister before ex girlfriend and I got together
I don't really see why that's a problem. What you did before you got together with her is nobody else's business. You did nothing wrong imo.
I only kept one secrete from my husband, that I was a virgin when we met. I remember it was the second date or something and he was like, "I would never date a virgin, they cling to you and get delusional that you are the one." So I lied and told him I was sexually active. We had been together for 6 years when my dog died and he took me out to the woods to camp for a week so I wouldn't have to be home. That first night after I cried non-stop, I told him the truth. He thought it was really sweet.
Sounds like your husband was a real jerk about women/virgins. Hope he's changed.
Load More Replies...I can never tell my husband that I hate his family. His brother is 42 and only dates 18-20 yr olds, one of which he creeped on since she was 16. He was 38 at the time. His uncle uses the Bible to justify his cheating and never takes care of his children. His mother almost had him set to jail on insurance fraud but she spun the whole thing as a mistake so he forgave her. His grandmother is a manipulative narcissist. She makes up these weird medical conditions to get attention, like being allergic antihistamines when she takes an antihistamine everyday. My husband told her that I was allergic to Benadryl (I'm not, I'm allergic to the pink dye) and she spun a story of antihistamines giving her necrosis. I've never discouraged him seeing them because he loves them but I hate being around them.
In hindsight, I've been r***d by my first boyfriend. This still effects my attitude towards and comfort during s*x.
When I invited my partner of 8 years over for a one night stand that lead to our relationship, I thought I was inviting over someone completely different. I got the names/numbers mixed up.
There’s a lot of need for professional help in these posts rather than likes on social media
I’ve kept a secret from my childhood. A local kid, a lot older than me and my siblings, sexually abused all of us. I didn’t know about them until well into adulthood and their experiences were way more serious than my own. He has since died and I find it very hard to hear people saying what a great guy he was. I recently heard one of his friends gushing about how great he was with her granddaughter and I cringe, but don’t say anything.
If there are only a couple cokes or chocolates left I hide some under the vegetables in the veggie drawer, the guys never find them because they don't eat veggies unless I prepare them lol!
I haven't told my mum one of her childhood friends has died. For clarity my mum has Alzheimer's disease and I've already told her one of her friends has died and it broke my heart seeing her crushed like that and I couldn't do it again. She asks after her childhood friend as my dad is still in contact with his family and I just say 'he's fine'.
Not dark but something I kept hidden for 13 years. My ex loved karaoke, and we went to karaoke bars all the time. He sang his heart out and never doubted that he was an excellent singer. He... wasn't. I absolutely hated going because he flat told me I "screeched" so I sat there unable to even dare trying, while he warbled off key for years. I never told him.
I only kept one secrete from my husband, that I was a virgin when we met. I remember it was the second date or something and he was like, "I would never date a virgin, they cling to you and get delusional that you are the one." So I lied and told him I was sexually active. We had been together for 6 years when my dog died and he took me out to the woods to camp for a week so I wouldn't have to be home. That first night after I cried non-stop, I told him the truth. He thought it was really sweet.
Sounds like your husband was a real jerk about women/virgins. Hope he's changed.
Load More Replies...I can never tell my husband that I hate his family. His brother is 42 and only dates 18-20 yr olds, one of which he creeped on since she was 16. He was 38 at the time. His uncle uses the Bible to justify his cheating and never takes care of his children. His mother almost had him set to jail on insurance fraud but she spun the whole thing as a mistake so he forgave her. His grandmother is a manipulative narcissist. She makes up these weird medical conditions to get attention, like being allergic antihistamines when she takes an antihistamine everyday. My husband told her that I was allergic to Benadryl (I'm not, I'm allergic to the pink dye) and she spun a story of antihistamines giving her necrosis. I've never discouraged him seeing them because he loves them but I hate being around them.
In hindsight, I've been r***d by my first boyfriend. This still effects my attitude towards and comfort during s*x.
When I invited my partner of 8 years over for a one night stand that lead to our relationship, I thought I was inviting over someone completely different. I got the names/numbers mixed up.
There’s a lot of need for professional help in these posts rather than likes on social media
I’ve kept a secret from my childhood. A local kid, a lot older than me and my siblings, sexually abused all of us. I didn’t know about them until well into adulthood and their experiences were way more serious than my own. He has since died and I find it very hard to hear people saying what a great guy he was. I recently heard one of his friends gushing about how great he was with her granddaughter and I cringe, but don’t say anything.
If there are only a couple cokes or chocolates left I hide some under the vegetables in the veggie drawer, the guys never find them because they don't eat veggies unless I prepare them lol!
I haven't told my mum one of her childhood friends has died. For clarity my mum has Alzheimer's disease and I've already told her one of her friends has died and it broke my heart seeing her crushed like that and I couldn't do it again. She asks after her childhood friend as my dad is still in contact with his family and I just say 'he's fine'.
Not dark but something I kept hidden for 13 years. My ex loved karaoke, and we went to karaoke bars all the time. He sang his heart out and never doubted that he was an excellent singer. He... wasn't. I absolutely hated going because he flat told me I "screeched" so I sat there unable to even dare trying, while he warbled off key for years. I never told him.