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“I’m Dating An Idiot”: 40 Funny Moments When People Realized The Person They’re Dating Isn’t Very Sharp
Interview
One of the most important aspects of any romantic relationship is to be on the same page with your partner. In terms of your lifestyle. What kind of family you want to build together. Financially. Spiritually. And… intellectually. Many people think that what’s most important is someone’s heart (and we think it is!), but the lack of education and common sense can in some cases put a premature stop to any blossoming feelings of love. Not all the time, but it does happen.
Redditor u/Known-Pop-8355 sparked a lively and utterly hilarious discussion on r/AskReddit after asking people to share their “I’m dating an idiot” moments. We’ve collected some of the funniest stories to share with you, dear Pandas. Scroll down, enjoy, and make sure you’re not eating or drinking anything because you’ll be laughing and facepalming a ton!
Bored Panda got in touch with the author of the viral thread, u/Known-Pop-8355, who explained the inspiration behind the question and shared their thoughts on compatibility, as well as relationship red flags.
We also reached out to Steven Wooding, the co-creator of the Drake Equation for Love Calculator for his thoughts on educational gaps in relationships (spoiler alert: they don’t have to be deal-breakers!). Read on for both of our interviews.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Had a girlfriend that tend to throw fits for everything.
One day she spotted me on a restaurant's terrace on my campus having lunch with a lady. She came storming in like a fireball, started to scream at me, started to insult that poor lady she said was old enough to be my mother (come on, you understand already how could she not) and all.
When she finished I just said "So mom, this is X, my ex girlfriend"
My mom still brags about the fact that my ex believed she could pull a guy my age. At least she took it the right way lol
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
That's so embarrassing I'm embarrassed all the over to Germany for her
Carrot Ironfounderson 2 years ago
For me, it was a photo of me with my younger sister. And she did met her before too.
Solidhog 2 years ago
I have a life rule. Just when you think you have the most stupid person on the planet, someone comes along to prove you wrong!
Teresa Spanics 2 years ago
Excellent rule! The late George Carlin said about how some people are stupid and then you meet others who are even more stupid.
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Id row 2 years ago
I really, *really* need to know how the ex reacted after you introduced your mom and also how she reacted to being introduced as your 'ex'. I'd have paid money to be a fly on the wall for that one.
Potato 2 years ago
"Well it was pretty much like she had an iced cold shower. Me I was just done, I took her outside and told her to go I was just finished. She look looked like sad puppy but it was not my first rodeo."
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Thegoodboi 2 years ago
This is grand! What did she say after the introduction?? "Well s**t, hello ex mom in law.."
In redditor u/Known-Pop-8355’s opinion, compatibility in terms of education and intelligence is important in determining whether or not a relationship will survive. “I cannot fathom the number of times I have been on a date or in a conversation in my messages on dating apps where the other person is as the saying goes, ‘Not the sharpest tool in the shed’ and have been completely turned off due to the lack of stimulation my level of intelligence needed from them,” they told Bored Panda.
According to u/Known-Pop-8355, it’s nonetheless possible to have a happy and flourishing relationship despite large educational gaps. “The key here would be to have open and effective communication with a vast amount of patience and them having the yearning to learn and absorb correct, factual, proven knowledge from those around themselves and their environment.”
The author of the thread explained to Bored Panda that reading is absolutely fundamental to education. They believe that it’s essential for everyone to encourage the “intelligently less fortunate” to “pick up a goddamn book” in order to “exercise their brain.”
RELATED:
#2
I mentioned that I might be interested in learning to speak Italian. He kind of scoffed and said, "Why would you need to learn Italian? That's EASY!" Very confused, I said, "What?? Why do you think it's so easy??" He said, "Italian is just American with an accent!" (Yes, he called it "American", not English.) Took me a few beats and then I realized - he thought an Italian ACCENT was the actual language! Like, he thought "I'm-a gonna eat-a the spaghetti and-a meat-a-balls" was actual Italian. I could barely get the words out to explain to him how wrong he was because I was literally on the floor helpless, clutching my stomach laughing - I could not stop for at least a full 10 minutes. He was so mad at me for laughing at him but Jesus Christ, how could I not?? Later that day I snuck his phone and changed his ringtone to that Family Guy bit where Peter is talking jibberish to the Italian guy, thinking he's speaking Italian - "Babada boopie? Beebada boobada babada!" He did not appreciate that, either lol
Marcos Valencia 2 years ago
No bueno. No problemo. Hasta la vista, baby. Mi casa, su casa... And that's all that you need for a full life in Spain. You're welcome.
Bryan Dade 2 years ago
Saw someone who said they spoke seven languages. ..English, American, Australian, Canadian and Scottish among them..JH tapdancing C
Steven MC 2 years ago
My brother's gf when I said I was learning Italian for a trip to Rome and she said to us, "Oh, do they speak another language? I thought they just spoke English with an Italian accent. You know, like Mamma Mia (in Italian accent)" I could not touch my tea for a good few minutes
#3
We went to a science museum and saw a display of a carboniferous swamp and I casually remarked that the land would have been different back then due to plate tectonics. She had never heard that the continents moved so I explained how it worked with plates moving, earthquakes, and volcanoes. She still didn't believe me. So I found the plate tectonics museum display that explained it all. And then she said she was amazed that I had enough pull with the museum to have them set up a display to support my lies.
Anime dude101 2 years ago
this person gives me this download-2...8f4f6.jpeg 
Tamra 2 years ago (edited)
It boggles my mind to meet people like this. So emotionally invested in their own beliefs, that they dig in and absolutely refuse to be open to facts and evidence proving them wrong. This is how, in the US at least, a former president will be allowed to run for another term, despite evidence proving him unfit for the job.
Gabriela Cink 2 years ago
Like I understand she don't want to believe you when you told her, yes do your own fact checks, but expect somebody would create OWN museum display???? :D what??
Doge 2 years ago
Sounds like she was joking and he was so obsessed with feeling superior it went right over his head
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pink_panda 2 years ago
Was she being serious? This sounds like something I would say as a joke.
Toby Flenderson 2 years ago
It's a sublime response. I'm going to use it when I'm wrong.
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Bet she also believed the Earth was only 4000 years old, and Jesus walked with dinosaurs. On,y her boyfriend didn’t have enough pull with the museum to have the museum set up a display of HER beliefs.
Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I know an electrician who is very smart, but also a bit gullible and he reads the wrong sites. So he has a new conspiracy theory every week. Yes, he recently decided the Earth is flat. And I wish that was the most outlandish, but he brings me things that I've never even heard of like there's a $400 trillion fund hidden in Italy that the US owns part of that will soon be distributed to everyone in there world, allowing us all to retire (yes, I see all the flaws in that, and no, he doesn't). I just don't get it...
Id row 2 years ago
I thought this was all common knowledge. I mentioned Pangea for some reason over Christmas with everyone at the table. They all looked at me like, 'huh?' I said, "you know, Pangea, the name of the one land mass before continental drift millions of years ago?" They said, "You can't just drop that and expect people to know that." I said, "It's pretty basic knowledge, even The Simpsons referenced it when Mr. Burns had to state his place of birth." But apparently a lot of people don't know that info for whatever reason.
Mary Rogers 2 years ago
In the US, HALF the population can't read beyond an eight grade level. Which is utterly pathetic but a predictable outcome when our educational system decided to graduate students regardless of whether they had actually learned anything.
Load More Replies...We were curious to hear the redditor’s thoughts on some relationship red flags. First of all, they noted that you should pay a lot of attention to someone’s body language. “If their body isn't exactly facing towards you when interacting, they’re most likely not interested, have become bored of you, or want nothing to do with you,” they said.
Another major red flag for them is having someone micromanage your money. Unfortunately, that’s something that u/Known-Pop-8355 had to deal with before. “It was a form of financial and psychological control they had over me. It was a toxic relationship, sadly, but there was a lot more to it than just money. I had to show statements, receipts, how much I spent, where I spent it, WHY I spent it, and play twenty-one questions over it,” they revealed to Bored Panda that their former partner would gaslight them by claiming they had a “spending problem” and weren’t being responsible with the money they earned themselves.
“My bills were paid on time and I bought groceries and provided where I needed, too,” the OP said that they also helped their family and friends out financially when they could afford to. They also had a little money left over to put into their savings account. However, their partner thought it was “selfish” whenever the redditor spent money on other things than them.
#4
Oh man, my “high school sweetheart” whom I was with for four years. There are many instances of him being awful, but for time’s sake, I’ll pick one. When we would go to restaurants, he would do this thing before we left, where he would order a water, only to put a napkin over it, flip it over and leave it upside-down on the table, so that the bus boy or whoever cleared the table would then get water all over the place. He thought it was huh-lar-I-ous and I thought it was effing obnoxious. Anyway, years later, I had just had my second child and was out with my SIL and her friends for an overnight at the beach where my ex’s family has a summer cottage. We walk in and there was my ex, working there. We were sat at one of his tables and after he brought our food, he grabbed a chair and sat down next to me to chat. It was fine until I mentioned my newborn son. All of a sudden he starts being snarky and saying rude things like, “I’m surprised you didn’t give him a stupid celebrity baby name” and then, “I’m glad I didn’t have kids with you because I want my kids to have *blue eyes*”. Well, funny enough, I offered to pay the tip. First, I asked my ex for a new water. Then I dumped out all the loose change in my purse and all the ones I had and dumped them in my water. Then I put a napkin on top. You know the rest. 🤭
Gwyn 2 years ago (edited)
He doesn't sound stupid, so much as he sounds like an A-hole. Should have got waters for the entire table.
kath morgan 2 years ago
Insulting the person who’ll be tipping you is pretty stupid
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Airt 2 years ago
It wouldn't fly in Europe where you mostly need to pay for your water in restaurants.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
I, for one, would indeed pay for water to do this.....
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#5
Phoned him up the day he moved into his first student flat (in the next country over - we were doing long distance). He said "I'm fine, just desperate for a cup of tea and can't have one til tomorrow." "Why not?" I asked him, knowing very well he had pans. "There's no kettle here. We'll have to go buy one." "If you're that desperate, just boil water on the stove." "Oh! Yeah! Um... how do I do that?" And I then had to talk a technically adult man through the process of boiling water. Edit just cuz: I did marry that idiot, but only after I taught him to cook.
Kosh1k 2 years ago
Hey, at least he learned, right? (And depending on the guy's situation the parents might be partially at fault. Kids should be taught basic life skills).
Delta Dawn 2 years ago
Kids get equal blame for not listening when their parents try to teach them life skills. I bet he watched his own parents make tea with water boiled in a pot dozens of times and never got a clue. Honestly, you can’t imagine all the things your kid doesn’t actually know that you for sure taught them, or imagined that anyone would have figured out by adulthood. There are always some surprises.
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PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
Upvote for "Edit just cuz: I did marry that idiot, but only after I taught him to cook."
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
My ex once called me at work to ask me what temperature to BROIL a pork chop with.
M O'Connell 2 years ago
I'm used to "High" and "Low," the important part is how far the pork chop is from the element.
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Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
That's OK. I'm an ex pro Chef and have had trainees turn up in several of the kitchens that I've run Worldwide who genuinely had not a clue - they were, of course, interviewed and employed by an HR department. Needless to say, I got quite shouty with those particular departments heads and did my best to train the more motivated of the trainees, most, however, fell by the wayside ; some even forged references from me ....
Butterfly_Cavewoman 2 years ago
I could bake from the age of 6. I can only cook a few homemade meals. My partner does the majority of the cooking.
#6
I went on a couple dates with a woman who owned two large energetic dogs. When she bought them she was informed that she'd need to walk them every day to get them exercise and burn off energy. To save time, instead of walking them she'd take them for a drive and thought that accomplished the same thing.
LizzieBoredom 2 years ago
I had a boyfriend tell me the reflective dot lane-markers on the highway were Braille for blind people.
Salma Hernández 2 years ago
Poor doggos. I just imagine them watching other dogs walking and playing and just be like them.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
I do hope those neglected beautiful creatures destroyed her new leather couch
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Only if she threw harnesses on them and hitched them to the front of the car.
“They just wanted to commandeer my money. But after a year of that, you can officially say ‘dumped!’ Now I’ll admit I was the idiot in that span of time for even putting up with that toxicity for that long.”
A final major relationship red flag for the redditor is bottling up your thoughts and feelings. “This is what killed my ten-year-long relationship with my ex-fiancé. I bottled everything up and I just could not for the life of me open up to them. I had a very hard time doing so with them. Bottling everything up is really damaging to the relationship emotionally and yourself mentally,” u/Known-Pop-8355 said.
“I remember the nights when I had opened up and the bottle poured out like Niagara Falls. I had no control and it was an explosive episode that just turned into a psychotic breakdown. Like, a total nuclear meltdown. I met a new person in my life three years after splitting from my ex who is now married to my younger brother… Yeah, I know. I heard all the jokes already, ‘Keeping it in the family.’ But I’m legitimately happy with my new partner and really want to open up to them about everything. I can’t wait till we’re married!” they said, wishing everyone luck in finding luck. “Pray that they’re smart and intelligent!”
#7
I dated a girl in high school and we were bored, hanging out at lunchtime, and we were looking at each other's wallets and making fun of our ID card photos, etc. I found a card in her wallet that said, "This person should not be given a blood transfusion," and I was like, "Oh no, please tell me you believe in dinosaurs," and she said, "their bones were put here by God to test us," and I was like, "oh no."
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
We were put on Earth to wreak havoc on believers and unbelievers alike! Squawk.🐔
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Plus, how rude not to believe in us! We're still around, you know
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Mac 2 years ago
I don't buy this. Only Jehovahs witnesses have the no blood transfusion cards and absolutely believe, as a religion, that dinosaurs exist. Source: the first 18 years of my life.
Nupraptor 2 years ago
This may come as a shock to you but there are people out there who claim to be Christian and yet holds beliefs that aren't actually supported by Biblical Scripture.
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Michael Largey 2 years ago
The young lady in question desperately needs a reality transfusion.
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
Yeah but her body would reject it and her head would explode. Fun to see but not possible I’m afraid.
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PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago
I pulled up an article on some 3,500 yr old metal pins and I thought my partners mum would find them pretty like I did, she continues to tell me they didn’t have metal back then and it must be fake news cos Jesus didn’t have metal in his day 🤦♀️ I just keep to myself here
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
What did she think that the nails/ small spikes that were used to crucify Jesus on the cross were made out of? I think that'd be an interesting question that you probably don't want to ponder to her.
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A Wild Bean 2 years ago
I didn't understand the connection between a 'no blood transfusions' card (which I assumed was for some kind of medical reason) and dinosaurs, so I googled the card. It's because (copy/paste from nih.gov) "Jehovah's Witnesses regularly refuse transfusions for themselves and their children because they believe the procedure creates a risk of losing eternal salvation." Essentially, they believe that having blood from another creature in your body is wrong.
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Solidhog 2 years ago
Tell a doctor you hear voices they give you medication or detain you. Tell them it's the voice of God and they give you a building filled with schizophrenic people to preach to.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
That is incredibly insensitive, both to people with Schizophrenia and people of faith.
Load More Replies... Cuppa tea? 2 years ago
I think only way to not receive blood transfusions is to sign a waiver at hospital. When medical staff will be saving your life, the last thing they will look though all cards in wallet - just go for any ID, not interested in library card.
#8
We were driving down the road, and she looks out the window to see a field full of cows. She then asks, “Do they call it pasteurized milk because the cows were raised in a pasture?” I married her.
Al Jameson 2 years ago
That's not being an idiot, that's a dad joke. She'll make a great dad some day.
Adam Elder 2 years ago
My daughter, and I love her to bits, thought albinos came from Albania.
Michelle Brandt 2 years ago
When I was younger and didn't know better, my dad would have us look for pink cows cuz they made the strawberry milk.
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
Every year for my birthday, Mom would give me strawberry milk. At the store as an adult, I saw Strawberry Quik (powdered milk flavoring), and bought some for old times' sake. It tasted nothing like I remembered, so I called Mom to ask what she'd put in my strawberry milk. She said, "food coloring."
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Luis Hernandez Dauajare 2 years ago (edited)
I dated a girl from a really wealthy household. Once at a family reunion she bragged that her family had just bought several acres of land in an exclusive location to built a country house. My father politely asked her: "Oh. That's nice. I'm sure it is lovely place. Is it big?" The girl tried to sound modest and replied: "Oh, not that big. There are small acres." To this day, my family still refers to her as "the small acres girl".
#9
When I mentioned I was on my period, he asked what my favorite flavor of tampons are. He genuinely thought the colors on the tampon packs were flavors, and that it would soak into my blood while inside and I’d eventually taste it. I’m desperate to know the source of this information.
Solidhog 2 years ago
Tell him to go to the store and taste test them and them pick his fave flavour for her.
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Linda Ellis 2 years ago
Men have so many completely stupid ideas about women's reproductive systems.
Cathy Jo Baker 2 years ago
And it's men like that who are making laws about women's bodies. SMH
Meanwhile, Bored Panda reached out to Steven, the co-founder of the Drake Equation for Love Calculator and a member of the Omni Calculator team. We wanted to get his thoughts on the importance of educational and intellectual compatibility in romance. We were curious whether a large educational gap was necessarily a sign that things wouldn’t work out.
“I don't think a large education gap should be a deal breaker in a romantic relationship if one is willing to teach the other and the other is eager to learn,” he shared his thoughts.
“It could be quite a good bonding experience to help someone improve themselves and be improved by someone.” Though, in these cases, balance is important.
“However, it would be important to balance the relationship so it's not one person doing all the teaching. Find another subject area that the other one doesn't know much about.”
#10
My partner isn’t a f*****g idiot, but she is impulsive and sometimes… that’s basically the same thing. It’s gotten to the point where we joke about her “Skittles moments”, so named because of the time she accidentally dropped a Skittle and didn’t realize it until it melted into her fitted bedsheet. Without thinking and before I could stop her, she calmly grabbed a pair of scissors and cut out the offending part of the sheet. She was completely calm about it until she picked up the cut sheet piece and what she did fully sunk in. She was very sad, that was a favorite set. Similar dubious decision making happens only every few months, but it is hilarious (and exasperating) every time
RagDollLali 2 years ago
That was my first guess, especially if your meds start to wear off in the evening
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#11
Was just lounging about one Sunday and skiing came on the TV. at one point the commentator said that contestants reached 100 km/h at that point in the race. The ex literally shouted b******t at the telly. I looked at her and asked why..she replied that there was no way that they could tell how far they'd go in an hour since the race was only two minutes long.
Another time, "I have an aunt who lives in London, is that near England"
Delta Dawn 2 years ago (edited)
My uncle’s new wife thinks all of Africa is one country. She also thinks ivermectin cures covid and that selling MLM junk is a legit side hustle. Shes’s a walking example of the Dunning-Krueger effect.
Lance LaRocque 2 years ago
There are almost 30 places called London. Only one of them in the UK...
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
I want to see her arguing with cop that he couldn't have caught her speeding because she was only doing it for minutes. Or better yet the judge.
#12
My brother in law was born on June 14. Way back when he was single, he was something of a stud. So one birthday he goes out to a club and a pretty woman starts chatting with him. Casually he mentions “It’s Flag Day - my birthday.” She looked at him with wide eyes “Your birthday is Flag Day?! Wow!” On the spur of the moment, he says “Well, I really like Flag Day. So I had my birthday legally changed. Went in front of a judge and everything.” She bought it, hook, line and sinker. Later, when they we’re heading back to her place, he realized he had a bottle cap in his pocket. So he did the “something behind your ear” trick on her that you do with little kids. “Oh my God! How long has that been in my hair! I’m sooo embarrassed!” He realized then and there that he couldn’t in good conscience go home with her. He gave her a peck on the cheek and wished her a good night.
Paul Neff 2 years ago
Not so much condescending, as having standards and feeling like he would have been taking advantage of her. It comes more from empathy.
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Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
A friend of mine fits ventilation ducting, the informal term for which is a ducter. Told a girl he was a ducter and she asked what that was. His response: "Do you know all the ponds and lakes around? I go and restock them with ducks when they're running low." Hook, line and sinker.
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I kinda get the birthday thing. If you say anything with enough confidence it's easy for the brain to just accept it. My husband gets me all the time with these jokes because (for some reason) I still trust him, or I'm only half listening, and it takes me a minute to go "wait, what?" She was probably just nervous and didn't recognize that it didn't make any sense cause she was too focused on seeming interesting to the cute boy. Really, probably true of the bottle cap too, especially if they were in a bar, and he lead with "hey, what's that?" before "pulling" the bottle cap out. The logical conclusion for someone who wasn't expecting a magic trick would be to assume it had gotten in her hair.
AK to LV 2 years ago
I was thinking the same thing about the hair especially if she was tipsy. It would be different if it was a 50 cent piece.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago
That's decent, it's not cool to take advantage of idiots, even if you can.
Epona 2 years ago
The "something behind your ear" trick is one of the oldest magic tricks in the world (I'm pretty sure anyway). How had she never heard of it or seen it on TV or in a movie? Even if there was a bottle cap in her hair... she would fricking feel it if she went to fix her hair or scratch her neck or something. I don't want to sound like an a**hole but how do people make it to adulthood being this naive and gullible?
The author of the thread, u/Known-Pop-8355, also opened up to Bored Panda that they never would have thought their question would go viral. “I was completely flabbergasted when I awoke to my phone with over twelve thousand upvotes and comments of people sharing their ‘idiot’ moments. I have read quite a few and some of them were definitely and shockingly next level idiotic and asinine! So idiotic that it hurt in a mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, financial, dramatic, and traumatized way! Lord, help these people!” the redditor said that it felt great to get so much attention online.
We were very curious to hear about the inspiration behind the question itself. The OP told us that they were trying to come up with a topic that others would relate to. That’s when their dad came into the room and inadvertently laid the groundwork for the r/AskReddit thread.
#13
He put a load of laundry in with mixed colour and whites... poured in bleach to whiten the whites... was shocked that the bleach bleached everything in the load.... I had to explain that the bleach will bleach everything you put in it as the bleach cannot discern what you want bleached or not... he was shocked, truly stunned and flabbergasted
Tamra 2 years ago
Ah yes, he should have used the special bleach...the one with "homing molecules" that specifically search out the whites. 😂
Delta Dawn 2 years ago (edited)
He’s thinking of oxygen “bleach” like oxiclean… the old commercials used to even brag that your colors wouldn’t fade but your whites would be whitened, with a catchy little jingle. Doesn’t work with actual bleach, my guy!
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
No, sadly this is much more common than you would think.
Load More Replies... Paul Neff 2 years ago
Hmmm, I have heard about "colorsafe bleach", it uses peroxide instead of actual bleach. Might be he assumed details.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
peroxide also bleaches colours. Normal bleach is sodium hypochlorite which, you guessed it, like peroxide, adds an oxygen to the dye molecule, eliminating its colour.
Load More Replies... Trophy Husband 2 years ago
I learned laundry when my wife taught me. Parents never had me do it and I lived at home through college up until I moved in with my wife. But I can't fix that she keeps putting things in the wrong hampers, and I dump the whole thing in together. Tbh, I don't understand delicates, aside from my suit and done jackets, everything of mine goes in the wash together no matter what the label says!
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
I knew a very sweet lady, a competent businesswoman. She was absolutely positive that white clothes killed germs. I tried to explain about white clothes being bleachable, but no...the white does the disinfecting, not the washing or the bleach. And that's why medical staff wear white.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
My husband is not allowed in the laundry room. He would never do anything thar moronic, but still.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Dammit bored panda stop failing to load my comments then load them 2-8 times 20 minutes later!! Wtf!
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Unaffected 2 years ago
The father of my children did the opposite.Tried to help and washed cloth nappies with jeans.I came home to heaps of navy nappies on clothing line!
#14
How alcohol content percentage works.
We argued for months that 10% as alcohol content remains the same even if you halved the bottle.
She said nope, if you halved the bottle then the alcohol content would be 5%.
Engineer graduate that too.
She works for a software firm.
For 12 years.
Sigh.
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
Software engineer. You only need to learn the numbers '0' and '1'.
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Purple light 2 years ago
So you just divide the contents of the bottle in many smaller cups, the percentage will become zero and you will never get drunk. (Safety warning: please don't divide, drink and drive please, the cops may not believe your math skills)
Tushar Roy Mukherjee 2 years ago
A common numerical problem. Many of my friends would agree with her as a knee jerk reaction.
Bill Corbett 2 years ago
If you have a litre of liquid, of which 10% is alcohol, you have 100 milliliter s of alcohol. Pour off half, and you now have 50 millimeters of alcohol, which is 5% of the available volume.
Id row 2 years ago
There's no way that person graduated as an engineer, unless it was something like Burkina Faso Upstairs Computer School.
Upil 2 years ago
Graduated as engineer means she is understand things engineer needs to know. Being smart doesnt mean you would understand everything. My friend is a full time job computer tech in my office yet he doesnt understand any dime about software dev. Another friend is a software dev and he cant build my offices internet network without being helped. So...
Load More Replies... Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
Depends on whether its by volume or mass ...... Personally I work to the ' How drunk am I after a bottle / 2 bottle' method. Therefore, I'm usually not too drunk after a bottle but fairly drunk after 2, therefore her analogy is correct as I'm half as drunk after 1 - thinking outside the box here folks.
#15
I had just gotten back from the OB GYN and was talking about how they didn't use metal speculums anymore and had plastic. Still uncomfortable but not as bad... Anyway, he was convinced that the plastic speculums must have felt good and made me orgasm 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ Another time, we were driving through the historical part of the city we lived in and I commented about how beautiful an old house was. He told me that all we have to do was tell the owners that we are hard working people and they will just give us the house. Another time he "didn't drive home drunk" because he parked his truck down the street. I filed for divorce after four years of his stupidity.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
If speculums made you orgasm there would be a huge line and a longer waiting list to get in.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
This! How can a guy be any good in bed if he thinks just inserting a speculum will make you orgasm? Sex must be boring poke it in kind of thing. LOL!
Load More Replies... Cathy Jo Baker 2 years ago
He must be friends with flavored tampon guy. Such idiots. The sad part is, they're the one telling women what we can legally do with your bodies, bodies that they can't even understand.
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
If speculums make women orgasm, I guess my endometrial biopsy was supposed to make my whole body quiver in delight. But in reality ? Um no. More like labor pains. A biopsy fells like a real sharp instrument that is cutting a chunk of your body out to test for cancer. And of course you can’t numb the inside of your uterus either. Seriously guys, stop telling women about how our own damn bodies are supposed to work. Stop “womansplaining” !!!
John Dilligaf 2 years ago
All I had to do was tell a home owner I was a hard working person and I could have gotten a free house? Don't I feel like an idiot going through all that rigamarole at the realty company, the bank, the title company, insurance agency, etc.
“My father, who is recently divorced from my mother, walks into the room and is ranting on about her as usual and screams, ‘I can’t believe your mother at times! She’s so goddamn stupid!’ I, being a Smart Alec mouthed off to him in a sarcastic tone, ‘You married it!’ referring to her intelligence.”
Their father retorted: “Yeah, I know I did! And had I known your mother was so stupid back then, I probably wouldn’t have married her! Especially after the time when I first saw she was an idiot!” That was the seed for the OP’s question on Reddit.
#16
We drove past a windmill on a windy day. She commented how it was too windy out and they should turn the windmill down. She was dead serious...
Sara Nobre 2 years ago
I don't think it is a joke. I had a neighbour who hated trees, and this was one of the reasons. Trees "make wind". I was a child and I remember staring at her, just trying to understand the cause-and-effect relationships in her brain.
Jared Robinson 2 years ago
They actually can turn the windmill down. They have limiters on them so that they can't go fast enough to tear themselves apart. And you can control those limiters. So you can actually turn down the windmill.
Erica Knapp 2 years ago
Thank you! This is exactly what I was looking for 🙂
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David Paterson 2 years ago
When the weather is too windy, they turn big windmills off the stop them being damaged. Fact.
Joe Publique 2 years ago
She said 'turn them down' not 'turn them off'. Two completely different things considering the context of the discussion.
Load More Replies... SCP 4666 2 years ago
We can't turn them down or off. earth rotates because the windmills are turning 😋
Toby Flenderson 2 years ago (edited)
Pepper comes from pepper mills; wind must come from windmills. Q.E.D.
Jill Bussey 2 years ago
If the photo is appropriate, then it's a wind turbine. It doesn't mill anything.
RajunCajun 2 years ago
one day I was at the Navy dock installing some equipment on a ship. Walking past the ship I see the bilge darning and say to the guy next to me, that's why the oceans are so wet, these damn boats keep leaking. I heard someone laughing behind me and turned to see the captain. Thank god he knew I was just joking. (if you don't know the bilge is the place at the bottom of the boat that collects any water that leaks in and spits it off the boat)
#17
When he told me that god put different races on different continents to avoid mixed race breeding and that the cause of all physical and mental disease is mixed race relationships. We wouldn’t have diseases if everyone stayed on their own continents. I swear I didn’t know he was a racists piece of s**t before that lol
KJ 2 years ago
I'm just having a mental image of the person being told this having a cartoon eyes out on stalks moment then the legs blurring as they run away.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
I'm picturing him being told that all humans originated from a common ancestor in a singular place..... and that skin color differences are the same as hair or eye color differences.........
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago
so why was he in america then? Did he accidentally float away from europe on a plank?
RajunCajun 2 years ago
I have family that thinks like this. I gave up on trying to tell them otherwise, now they just say going in the Military changed me.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
Tell him to start a podcast so someone can reboot Mystery Science 3000; Podcast Unit
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Brianne Amos 2 years ago
That is some next level racism. Like top of the heap, grand wizard s**t. Time to run screaming for the hills
blankman 2 years ago
If you're familiar with the Supreme Court case, "Loving v Virginia" that resulted in striking down all the laws against mixed race marriages in the US, that case was an appeal of a Virginia Supreme Court ruling that banned mixed race marriages - and that ruling cited scripture claiming that god put different races on different continents for a reason.
PolymathNecromancer 2 years ago
How do folks not realize we in the U.S. have been circling the drain of theocracy for almost 247 years? And that it seems to be led by Christians?
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PeepPeep the duck 2 years ago
I have a similar one, but she’s not racist, just from a very small isolated island in Filipines, “we are all different races because one day after eve was kicked out of Eden, god was so mad, he waved his magic hand across the earth and changed our skin and languages so we couldn’t fight anymore, but we have to stick to our own races, or god will wave his hand again’. I always imagined the Simpson god hand waving around when she said this 😂 funny part is she married my dad who is Caucasian, so I guess she doesn’t. Mind making god mad too.
Becca Kuehn 2 years ago
How the HE'LL do people come up with these idiotic, hateful ,bigoted ideas???
Thatkamloopsguy 2 years ago
Kind of funny, the Natives have been telling the white people that for years.
#18
My ex didnt think it rained over the ocean because there was enough water there already.
She was shocked it rained when we were on a cruise.
flippin berry 2 years ago
Such blessing it would be, if the sky were benevolent enough to only rain on water-deficient areas.
It’s essential that there’s proper communication between both people in a relationship. It’s vital that you love, care, and respect one another. And that you’re willing to make sacrifices and look for compromises.
And, broadly speaking, the more you have in common with your partner, the more you’ll get along and the happier, healthier, and long-lasting your relationship should be. Romantic feelings can blossom between any two people, of course. But shared backgrounds, education, experiences, and interests can turn passion into something that stands the test of decades.
Something that’s incredibly important for couples everywhere is that your partner loves you the way that you are while also motivating and inspiring you to be a better version of yourself. If you find that your partner brings out the best in you, then it’s likely you’re on the right road.
#19
I introduced him to my stepsister. He said, "weird, you guys look nothing alike."
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Quick, get paternal testing now! And maternal testing, too, I suppose
Michael Largey 2 years ago
I did something like this in my classroom. Me: "You know, you look nothing like your brother." She: "That's because my parents adopted me." Me (desperately trying to recover): "Well, they sure know how to pick 'em, don't they?" (She invited me to all her violin recitals, so I guess I was forgiven.)
Benita Valdez 2 years ago (edited)
When I went with my best friend to visit her mom at work one of her coworkers thought I was her daughter because we had the same hair color. We both had incidentally used the same hair dye for the same very unnatural copper color and her coworker knew she dyed her hair too. And just to note, hair color aside, my friend and her mom look insanely similar while none of my features resemble her mom; lady just went by hair color
#20
She didn’t know how to get to my house from anywhere but her house. Her work was about halfway between my house and hers, but she had to drive home first every time before she could drive to my house.
*this was pre-smart phones
Ian Webling 2 years ago
About forty years ago, I had some German friends move to my home town for a couple of years. They had a borrowed car and loved to gallivant about, exploring. They would often get lost. I would receive a phone call along the lines of: 'I'm outside a big blue house. How do I get home from here?' For some reasons, just about anywhere you travelled in the city, you would see signs pointing to a particular suburb. I taught them how to get home from it. Thereafter, whenever they got lost, they would ride around until they saw a sign directing them to that suburb, follow it and subsequent similar signs until they got there, then come home. Saved me a lot of tedious searching.
Warrior Mama 2 years ago
Oof, I feel this one. I am a successful professional with multiple advanced degrees... but when it comes to directions I simply can't. And not for lack of trying. Turns out it's a legit learning disability - I learned to drive pre-gps and it was terrifying. (So were the early GPS systems that didn't give a lot of warning or say street names, only "take the exit in 500 yards" when there were three on that particular stretch of highway, and no good rerouting if you took the wrong way.)Turns out it's geographic dyslexia and I prefer to walk or take the subway. I'm glad it wasn't a dealbreaker for my husband!
Busy Panda 2 years ago
I'm glad they have a name for it, because I'm like that too. I have been lost in a square warehouse, in a square office floor, etc. And if people told me 'just follow the path you have gone through before', it would be more confusing because I had been through all the available paths when I lost before🤦🏼♀️
Load More Replies... Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Ok, I kind of understand. If her workplace was like 2 streets off the usual way it could have confused me... ehm mean her!
Angarade 2 years ago
My cousin was like that before smartphones. Very smart girl, absolutely no sens of direction.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I'm like that. I can't tell left from right. It's a learning disability and hereditary.
Load More Replies... Joe Publique 2 years ago
Remember before the internet when people had to remember things? I can still recite all of my childhood friend's phone numbers. ;)
Id row 2 years ago
I can kind of sympathize, I have absolutely no sense of direction and could get lost in my own yard. And it's a very small yard. I've been so grateful for the invention of GPS. I honestly don't know how I made it anywhere before it. I did get lost a lot.
Allison B 2 years ago (edited)
I understand that. I don't drive and once the bus home dropped me off at a different stop because my usual one was shut down temporarily. I got lost trying to walk home from there since the sidewalk was closed for construction and I had to take the back roads to get to my condo. GPS didn't help because the street back there are windy and there's a lot of them. I ended up having to ask a postman how to get to my street. This was last week... I'm 35. 🤦♀️
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Seadog 2 years ago (edited)
Had a coworker that thought there was only one road that allowed you to get from one side of town to the other. So she would drive past 4 roads to get to that one. We found out when they allowed her to run a delivery and was gone way too long. This person was also on the local rescue squad. And this was 2010 so smart phones were definitely a thing. The company I worked for hired her solely because she spoke Spanish. She had absolutely no knowledge in our field. The final straw? The Mexicans that did come in our store spoke English and told her flat out that this is America, they speak English and they don't want or appreciate her speaking Spanish to them. First time we heard it happen, it was all we could do to not bust out laughing. She didn't last long.
#21
He told me he had a lot of "inventions" and how rich he will be when one sells. I asked him to tell me more. He says his best "invention" is eye drops that (with just one application mind you) eliminate the need for eyeglasses. The guy is a mailman. Not a doctor. Not a scientist. And he wears glasses. So I said "if these eye drops work why do you wear glasses?" The eye drops don't exist yet. But when someone else actually formulates these fantasy eye drops my mailman friend thinks he will get the money because he "invented" them by dreaming them up. EDIT: I dated him very briefly years ago. He didn't have any patents. Just misguided dreams. Nice guy. Just....well a special kind of small former coal mining town kind of idiot.
Jon Steensen 2 years ago
Well, in that case dips on the timemachine, or the undo button form real life.
Gavin Johnson 2 years ago
Sorry I patented that in 2097 and then just before you….. just need that town hall to be hit by lightning now…..
Load More Replies... Delta Dawn 2 years ago
They do exist!!! Google it!! The FDA has approved them in the US but they’re not common yet.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Well, if these 'drops' contained contact lenses with the right prescription...
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
Vuity is the name of these magic eye drops. Not really for all eyesight issues but in the same line as what this guy was taking about. Who knows maybe he inspired a scientist to invent them
RajunCajun 2 years ago
the sad part is if he writes these ideas down dates / notarizes them, he could sue the inventor and they would just pay him to go away.
On the flip side, if you feel that you’re constantly being criticized for being the way you are, you might want to think about whether this is something long-term or not.
Do you constantly feel awful about your finances, status, education, and hobbies around your significant other? Are you consistently demotivated and a worse version of yourself when you’re around them?
You might need to have a few honest conversations with your partner about how they’re treating you and how you deserve the same respect that you give them. After all, if you’re constantly miserable and second-guessing yourself, are you really with the right person?
#22
It was when vampire-related shows and movies were in the height of their popularity. He became obsessed with vampires. When we would go outside, he started to act like the sun was hurting him, and he would shield his face with his hands while groaning in pain. Think of Jim from The Office with his vampire prank... only he was more dramatic... and serious
April Stephens 2 years ago
My friend in high school also acted like she truly 110% believed she was a vampire. I was so worried about her and kept asking her if her parents knew. She said yes so I hoped they were getting her help. Heather, if you're reading this, you were really weird and I really liked you.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Did he pull through with this act, like... when she was on her period? *giggles childishly*
Elio 2 years ago
Yes, going to the Suberb Owl party is very important for vampires.
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Annie 1973 2 years ago
I'm incredibly light sensitive so I rarely go out when it's sunny and even then I'm covered from head to toe plus really dark sunglasses. Even then I still get migraines. It's no fun
#23
It was the most obvious one... they can NEVER lose an argument. No matter what facts are presented, no matter how insignificant them being wrong would be, they will not give up on being right. I could offer them irrefutable proof on something, and they would ignore it. Let me just give you a hypothetical example of how far it can often go. Them "cows are so skinny" Me "you mean fat?" Them "that's what I said" Me "no, you said skinny" Then "I know what I said" Random person in back seat "you said skinny..." Them "oh, so both of you heard me wrong. Yall need your ears checked. Yall seriously don't know what you're talking about ever. " Me "here's the dash cam footage, let's just listen to it" *video of them literally saying cows are so skinny* Them "see, I told you I accidently said skinny" Me and 3rd person "WHAT?" Them "what?" Me "you've literally just been arguing the opposite this entire time!" Them "no I haven't?" We go through checking the footage and proving them wrong again and they eventually give up the cycle by changing the argument to me being an a*****e. That's how it ends with the simplest and most complicated of things. It's a really clear defense mechanism of an idiot.
Libstak 2 years ago (edited)
That's right they'll bring you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Adam L 2 years ago
Had an argument like this with my dad last night. He yelled at me (an adult) for rinsing out a container before putting it in the recycling. He said it doesn't need to be done because he knows that at the recycling plant they clean everything out before the recycling process. I looked at the new rules paper that HE put up about recycling (our state had just banned clothing and mattresses in the trash) and I went down the list of approved recyclables "empty and rinse" was listed next to each item. He tore down the paper and threw it away saying "my house my water my way". I hope he gets fined at this point....
Rahul Pawa 2 years ago
I see some irony in this one because in the example, OP is also refusing to give up on being right no matter how insignificant it is.
April Stephens 2 years ago
Agreed. I try not to point out mistakes I hear people make, such as accidentally saying the wrong name in a story when it's clear they're just getting tongue tied. (Eg, my mother-in-law will be telling me a story and mix up her two sons' names.) If I can understand what they're saying, I just let it go.
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#24
My ex thought he could play hockey and found what he thought were the holy grail of skates. He bought them for $200 (I don't know the price as it was a long time ago). His friend, who lived in a city an hour and 20 minutes away, told him he got the same skates for $195. So my ex, in his old Camaro that cost $50 in gas round trip, returned the skates he got for $200 and drove 1 hour and 20 minutes to get the skates that were $5 cheaper. That should have been the biggest red flag. But sadly, it turned out I was the f*****g idiot who stayed with him for a few more years..
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
I know people who will drive 50 miles to another state to save 3 cents a gallon on gas.
S Mi 2 years ago
Right? Or wait 20 minutes in line at Costco...how much gas did you burn?
Load More Replies... RajunCajun 2 years ago
he did not have to pay for the gas, it was already in the car..........duh
David Moody 8 months ago
Sounds like the type of person who thinks they got a bargain on somethign because it wa shalf price, even though another store is selling the same item at an even cheaper price.
Being able to have long and open conversations into the wee hours of the morning is one of the best parts of any new relationship. You start learning about each other’s dreams, hopes, ambitions, and values. And if you find that the other person is fun to be around, is honest, considerate, and has integrity, you’re setting yourself up for success.
However, there might be some topics that you’ll never be able to fully get into with your other half. That might not necessarily mean the end of your relationship, however. You can always have those deep chats about physics, astronomy, or the financial situation of the global economy with your friends or coworkers. Though, at the same time, everyone has their personal limits, too. Whether you think believing that it doesn’t rain over the ocean is a deal-breaker or not is up to you!
#25
Dating this gal and we go out on a double date, she's kind of Goofy, but more lacking common sense vs like dumb as a box of rocks.....until that night.
So double date is BBQ, we all order she gets ribs, so we are eating she says what part of the cow is this from? We chuckle, she stares at us all (her sister included), and says "Did you not hear me? What part of the cow does this come from?" We, in unison say, ribs! She responded *"I KNOW THE NAME FROM THE MENU, BUT WHAT PART OF THE COW IS IT??"*
I was done.
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
This jogs some early 2000s memory of Jessica Simpson saying she doesn’t eat buffalo wings. And well, someone saying they weren’t wings from a buffalo, and buffalo don’t have wings.
Leanne Duval 2 years ago
I remember her having an entire melt down over Chicken of the Sea. Is it tuna or is it chicken?
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Maggie Dinzler Shaw 2 years ago
I saw this man bring back some chicken because it said on the package that it was chicken breast with rib meat, and he was mad that there were no ribs in the pckage.
The voice of reason 2 years ago
RIBS. The ribs are from the rib part of the animal. Cow, pig, chicken, ribs are ribs. Just clarifying.
What does this button do? 2 years ago
Wow, these comments prove the entire meme, this is freakin' gold! :D
#26
He was trying to make cookies and kept opening the oven for extended periods of time, letting out all the heat. When I told him he was letting all the heat out by opening the door wide open and staring at the cookies, he told me I didn't know how ovens work because the temp setter said 400 so it was 400. Took an hour to bake 1 sheet of cookies and said "I don't know why it's taking so long."
Also insisted on doing this on Thanksgiving, tying up my oven and was pissed off when he found out the turkey would take 3hrs to cook. As I'm sure you can imagine... Did not work out.
KJ 2 years ago
I had a girlfriend that wanted to make Yorkshire puddings, constantly opened the door to check them(they don't rise if you do this), the kicker was the oven door was glass but that info wouldn't compute.
Epona 2 years ago (edited)
Came here to ask if the oven door in OP's story might not have had a glass window in it. I would be surprised if it was an oven that did not. I am very glad to live in an era that has ovens with glass windows in the door. Who taught this dingus how to bake? Why didn't they teach him that opening the door to "check" = lost heat and longer cooking/baking times? I can't help but wonder what people who think like this fellow does think the glass window in the oven door is for. The food to see out of the oven?
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B-b-bird 2 years ago (edited)
oh myyy... if only this destroying relationships, then me (and some of my friends) are saints. This story above I consider only as one of "silly things" about my SO and my friends SO's. LOL Once me and friend were baking cakes for christmas... friends husband was super surprised at our "bad cooking skills" as cake came out surprisingly flat :( even though i'm sure it was rising last time I looked through oven glass. I remembered he was going in and out the kitchen few times and casually asked him "Did you happen to open an oven when it was baking?" he exclaimed "yeah! ofcourse i did! i was anticipating so wanted to check when it's ready!" ....we were in ave, he sounded so proud, like we are asking stupid questions :D all we said "good job! now enjoy your flat cake. Next time do not open oven when we are baking something". That and many many more silly stories of people being delusionally proud :D it is what it is...
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
Did you not show him the oven light! My kid loves watching cookies with that thing!
Seadog 2 years ago
Had a boss that was on the same level in a different way. He'd program the heat and air to an away level after hours. What he couldn't understand is it takes more power to heat or cool that 50000 sq/ft space and it's contents back to daytime levels than if he'd just leave it at one level 24/7. What ended up happening was in the summer, the unit would run all day, and often the evaporator would freeze over trying to eliminate all the humidity that would build overnight and the building and it's contents would never actually level out before it's closing time again. HVAC guys tried to tell him to set it and leave it. He wouldn't listen. Ended up burning up the units every couple years due to the abuse.
#27
"Do you think getting drunk so often while I was pregnant was bad for him?" She said this about her son who was five years old and had yet to speak a single word yet. She was not the primary caregiver.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Ok, this is sad on so many levels... Girls, please, ZERO alcohol while pregnant. I hope this was common knowledge, but I fear it isn't...
David H 2 years ago (edited)
medically small amounts spread over time has no negative effect, like 1 to 2 glasses of a standard 5.5 oz,, of wine, a week (at least 1 day apart per glass). The reason why Doctors say zero alcohol is because people tend to not keep proper track, and therefor its safer to fully avoid
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SCP 4666 2 years ago
Like the one post I read on Facebook where this pregnant girl claimed smoking wasn't bad during pregnancy because "huurrr, the smoke goes in the lungs not in the belly"
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
I knew a girl who smoked during pregnancy. Her baby was born under 4 pounds. I found out I was pregnant and never smoked again
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Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
This could be a sign of autism. I have a Nephew who's mother didn't smoke or drink throughout pregnancy. Once born seemed fine but wouldn't talk but would get fixated on one thing for long periods - in George's case, Spiderman, then Superman. Got diagnosed definitively at age 7.
#28
I dated a really manipulative and horrible person for a bit who would hide behind his weird interpretation of the Bible, "I can do anything I want as long as I ask for forgiveness after. I can't go to hell no matter what I do because I'm "saved." So one time, we were having a conversation about how he let's his friends bully me so I didn't wanna hang out with them anymore. The kind of healthy talk in relationships where you're just trying to feel understood. I mention to him that if I ever saw people mistreating him I would come to his defense because I cared about him. He says, "But I'm not you. Just because you pee sitting down doesn't mean I have to pee sitting down." In that moment I realized what I was getting myself into and broke it off immediately. Also, I had seen him pee sitting down. Just wanted to add that.
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
As a Christian, no, you cannot do whatever you want after you're saved. Salvation is repentance for your sins. No, you're not perfect after salvation (no one is) and should still ask forgiveness for sins, but being saved isn't the Get Out of Hell Free card so many lukewarm Christians think it is.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
Not that out there, historically. Catholic priest would forgive anything as long as you confessed. No matter how many times you did it. And they used to fund raise by letting people buy dead relatives out of purgatory.
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DarkViolet 2 years ago
God's grace isn't a doormat on which you wipe your muddy feet. It is meant as a way out of a life of sin, when previously there was no way. Also, it's rather presumptuous to think that you can sin to your heart's content and have plenty of time to ask for God's forgiveness. Too often, those who choose to wait until the 11th hour don't make it to 10:30. God's forgiveness is more than just "fire insurance."
Thegoodboi 2 years ago
Men: If you pee while pooing then that makes you a woman. Alphas don't even poo, just absorb everything. /SSSSS/JJJJJ
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Asking forgiveness when you're not genuinely penitent avails you nought.
David Moody 8 months ago
Heard of this kind of mentality; some people believe in "Once saved, always saved.' Imagine that you're drowing in ocean that represents sin and that Jesus is the lifesaver who comes and rescues you. Would you jump back in the ocean so Jesus would have to come and rescue again?
Hugh Ransom 2 years ago (edited)
To be clear; not taking a position, but rather highlighting a relevant part of Scottish literary heritage; I'll leave this link here (Hogg, James - The Private Memoirs and Confessions of a Justified Sinner) : https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Private_Memoirs_and_Confessions_of_a_Justified_Sinner
#29
She would always ignore the idiot lights in her cars, until they broke down. We bought a car that actually tells you when to bring it in for service. She came up to me, really frustrated, complaining about the car being noisy. She said "There's this big flashing message that says "BRING AUTO IN FOR SERVICE" and I can't get it to turn off. What should I do?" This person has a PhD too.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
When a light in my car pops up I try to make it go away by ignoring. Or telling myself the car is lying. I have a PhD...
unfilteredCigarette73 2 years ago
I get it, in my old pickup truck those dash lights were just a suggestion, as long as i changed the oil it ran great
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censorshipsucks 2 years ago
when you are in IT you know full well that PhD just means expert in some weird niche topic like feathered dinosaurs or headless roaches. It does NOT mean smart. I've had the stupidest questions from Profs even.
Mim“the Swede”Sorensson 2 years ago (edited)
You know - I’ve never actually heard someone with a PhD (the Swedish equivalence, that is) claim differently. I’ve only ever heard the “people with PhD ain’t so smart, there are stuff in existence they can’t do” thing - that, on the other hand, I’ve heard countless times. Especially online. In real life, usually people with PhD are the first to admit to that they don’t know even close to everything and that the knowledge they do have is very specialized and narrow. The same thing goes for professors - I’ve NEVER met a professor (and I’ve met a good few, even know some, most of my ragtag outsider buddies from my teenage years were nerds and opted for education since it’s free in Sweden) who EVER thought they were smarter than other people. They’ve just amassed more knowledge about a specific sets of subjects, and they know it. I’m starting to wonder what educated people are like in the US to be as constantly bashed on as they are; are they being snooty about it?
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Nancy T 2 years ago
Ohhh..my extremely intelligent ex husband did this...and neglected so many other things as well. The house, the yard, the finances. When we got divorced he told me I'd never make it on my own. I'm doing great, so much better without him (sad to say). Him not so much. He needs a mommy.
BlackestDawn 2 years ago
Having a PhD only shows that at best they are (very?) intelligent in that specific area but otherwise they can be dumb as a brick.
Tyranamar Seuss 2 years ago
OK, but to be fair all the warning lights on my dashboard come on if I don't screw the gas cap on tight enough. I was wise enough to take it to the mechanic the first time it happened. But now when it happens I just tighten the gas cap and it goes away.
Sad Quokka 2 years ago
You can actually turn off most warning lights. I have done this a few times, but only if I know what the problem is. I wouldn't recommend it though
Seadog 2 years ago
I know people that ignore everything including people telling them "X is wrong, you need to get that fixed" until it breaks completely then they complain because is costs $xxx to get it fixed. Watched them turn a $60 brake job into a $500 repair then went around saying the car is junk. Some people actually buy lifetime warranty parts because they think it means the part will last "their" lifetime and never need replacing.
#30
Flew across the country to visit family. We took his brothers dog for a walk and all the family members said “don’t let the dog off the leash.” Towards the end of our walk, he says “I’m gonna let the dog off” and I begged him not to. Eventually I said, “if you let the dog off the leash and it goes badly, I will break up with you” It went badly. I did break up with him.
YourSecretSanta 2 years ago
From Reddit: "We spent an hour and a half trying to get the dog to come back. It ran across multiple streets and eventually we cornered in a back yard. Caught it and he said “phew that could have been bad!” The dog was overall fine. But the relationship died in that moment. When I think back on that relationship, all I can really say is he won for most punchable face."
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Best Behave 2 years ago (edited)
He ran away. Then the dog turned to the girlfriend and said “how am I going to explain this to his brother?”🤷♂️
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
You have to the original post to see what happened. Long story, dog is okay but it did run around several streets over and had to be chased. What an idiot.
Seadog 2 years ago
My son in law had the same thing happen except it was the kennel that let the dog get free. He's military and had to come home from his assignment to deal with it. This dog is the one responsible for him and daughter meeting, so yeah, very important family member. Eventually the dog was found. Someone took it in and kept checking for missing dog reports. They became good friends with the people and ended up letting them keep the dog because their autistic son responded so well to him.
Potato 2 years ago
I know people who took their dogs to legitimate trainers and the dogs would STILL take off without a leash. They're animals.
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#31
He kept applying for jobs and getting denied instantly. At the time, I didn’t understand and was upset for him. Come to find out, this 26 year old was applying for jobs driving armored trucks for banks. With a record for stealing money from cash registers. I didn’t know at the time that he had ever been arrested, but this man literally had robbery and theft on his record, and couldn’t understand why an armored truck company wouldn’t hire him.
B-b-bird 2 years ago (edited)
OMG.... sad and funny at the same time, as I have uncle who has similar logic. He proudly told me he is applying for job at airport (as we know these jobs require clean record). He has a tons of records. Hear me out funnies thing: part of this job is driving airport vehicles (light category cars & tow vehicles for carts and stairs). His records are for drunk driving, speeding etc., so he has lost his driving license permanently long time ago.
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
Some people apply for jobs they have no chance of getting just to have something on their unemployment application.
Unaffected 2 years ago
I interviewed a nurse with a two pages assault records.His case worker rang me to ask me to give him a chance.Nope!
#32
Dated a guy with hemmrroids who swore that every time they bled he was just having his period.
Alsoomse Catori 2 years ago
Dude needs waaaay more fiber on the daily to prevent that and also to aid healing of present hemmroids.
#33
When he left the window open in the middle of summer because the air conditioning made the house too cold. He didn’t turn off the air conditioner and argued that it wouldn’t have made a difference.
Edit: I want to clarify that he argued having the window open wouldn’t make a difference as to how much the AC ran. I got home and the house was warm and very humid. The AC had been running constantly.
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
Hey, he was just trying to fight global warming, cooling the outside like that.
marianne eliza 2 years ago
Had a space heater in the bedroom, for those times when I didn't want to heat the whole house. My ex insisted the room would warm up faster if the door was left wide open. He was an engineer. To this day I can't figure out why he would make his last stand on that hill.
Stephanie Did It 2 years ago
Had an ex BF who worked in a warehouse and insisted that the cement floors generated cold air. I (only a woman) tried to explain heat generation but no, if it wasn't hot then it must be emitting cold into the building.
Barbara Skolly 2 years ago
I dated a otherwise intelligent guy who liked to keep a window open in his apartment for fresh air in the winter. But he chose the one next to the thermostat and could not figure out why all the other rooms were so warm.
#34
She was visibly upset (tears and quiet sobs) while we were watching District 9... She turns to me and whispers 'when did this happen?' .........as in the mistreatment of space aliens actually happened..
Fantastic Mr Fox 2 years ago
That’s what I was thinking. It made me a bit sad.
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CP 2 years ago
Well it did happen in SA to black people. The movie wasn't very subtle about that.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
yep, it even has an afrikaner police man that sings sarie maree.
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Christian Fuller 2 years ago
"It happens in the future. Only YOU have the power to stop it!" - me, trolling.
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
As it's an allegory for humanity, she wasn't that far from the reality.
WeatheredRobot 2 years ago
I may be clutching at straws here.. but perhaps this is a testament to how well district nine is made
Alsoomse Catori 2 years ago
Any aliens coming to earth will most likely be for scientific reasons especially if they have the capability to come to us from light years away which means socially they are far more advanced and less likely to be like our society which is exploiting others daily for selfish means.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
It did happen. It is called the Holocaust. That movie was a perfect metaphor for "othering"
#35
Kept telling me not to fall for online scams.
She fell for a scam that was so clearly a scam even a brain-dead monkey could see it was a scam.
She lost 15k and tried to sue everyone who told her it was a scam.
She also thought that when the chefs light the food on fire they add gasoline. She tried to do just that.
LangiStudios 2 years ago
"She tried to do just that." I'm suddenly reminded of that old cartoon where Sylvester the cat's wife and son would calmly go to the bomb shelter whenever Sly had a flammable idea.
Benita Valdez 2 years ago
Feel like sharing so here it is: I was an unsupervised teen bbqing. I made a burger that accidentally got a little lighter fluid on it but still ate it and I thought it tasted really good. Proceeded to make another burger and deliberately put lighter on it while cooking. I ate that burger and later that night learned you should not ingest lighter fluid; my stomach was in so much pain. I learned the hard way but I learned my lesson
#36
When she asked, "How long does it take for a boy to grow a new testicle after intercourse?"
SCP 4666 2 years ago
Because the baby in the belly eats up the uterus and is born when it's done
Load More Replies... Margaret H 2 years ago
What was she intending to do with the one you lost? Wear it on a string like a medal around her neck?
AK to LV 2 years ago
I just scared my dog awake from bursting out laughing!! 😂😂
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Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
It's sad that some parents forbid their children from sex ed and they go along believing things like this.
Annik Perrot 2 years ago
Sounds like his mommy told him not to have s*x because he'd lose à testicle every time
#37
I watched her wrap a potato in aluminum foil and toss it into our microwave. I spoke up and said you can't do that, because of ,ya know, microwaves. (She was 25) looks me right in the eye and says "my mom does this all the time, she taught me" As nicely as I could I explained how she must be mistaken. She digs in, five minutes of passionate arguing result in me saying "try it" She forced herself not to react to the volley of sparks and zapping sounds for the first few seconds, just in case it stopped. Looked me in the eye and said "well it always worked before"
Joe Publique 2 years ago
Perhaps her mum had one of those combo oven-microwave-grill things and she was just too stupid to notice.
D3v1lD0ll 2 years ago
A convection oven? They microwave food, in essence, but they're safe to use with metal. My mom had one on the boat on which she'd lived and it was awesome sauce.
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R Dennis 2 years ago
Our new microwave has instructions on how you can use metal and foil in it. I have read it multiple times... nothing will convince me this is not a trap.
BWC 2 years ago
I remember reading in a manual that, if a part of a roast was cooking faster than the rest, it could be covered in foil to prevent overcooking. Never tried it, though.
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
My BIL was a contractor and had just completed a gorgeous upgrade on their kitchen. So, we're having a dinner party. BIL's got something on the grill & I'm helping by getting the "sides" ready. I'm washing potatoes to put in the oven. BIL takes them and washes them with his "oh so nifty "vegie cleaner". He dries them off and then massages them with olive oil, and then rubs them with Kosher salt. I was like "Aren't you going to pierce them for steam?" This prick proceeds to tell me that ANYONE who knows ANYTHING about cooking, knows that is a myth. Yeah, you know where this is going. All six of those f*****s exploded in his newly installed, brand new pristine Dacor oven. The look on his face was SO worth it,
#38
I had to explain to a grown woman that 20% is not always $20 when converted to currency.
Donkey boi 2 years ago
It's $20 per Cent! So that would be 20x100 per dollar. A $20 meal would be a $40,000 tip. Personally I think service staff deserve it.
Load More Replies... Joe Publique 2 years ago
The number of people who don't understand percentages is mindblowing...
#39
I came home from running errands one evening to him running out of our fenced backyard to grab the hose with a look of panic on his face. He yelled for me to grab the fire extinguisher. He's pretty calm and collected so to see him riled up means s**t's going down. So I grab the fire extinguisher out of the garage and run out in the backyard where there is a huge fire burning in a pile of leaves up against the fence. We manage to rake it away from the fence and hose it down enough that it was under control. Finally got the chance to ask him why the f**k the fence was on fire. He tells me that he was making some rockets and wanted to test one so he put it in a vise and it took off. God dammit, you know how to make f*****g rocket fuel out of raw ingredients but you can't f*****g figure out a test jig and f**k near burn down our house. 8 god damn years we've been married. It hasn't gotten better.
Paul Neff 2 years ago
This sounds more like a mistake than just simple stupidity. Smart people can make mistakes.
Niall Mac Iomera 2 years ago
No, this wasn't a mistake. It was lack of planning due to not understanding the situation.
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 2 years ago
Whenever I doubt the wisdom of my wife's choices, I remind myself that I'm one of them.
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
I think this relationship needs to be a podcast. Also kinda sounds like relationships with adhd
Epona 2 years ago
Why would you stay married to that kind of person? I hope they don't have kids together!
Wondering Alice 2 years ago
Bit of an over reaction. Guy just misplaced his common sense while distracted by big thoughts.
Load More Replies... Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
I'll bet the most often heard saying is "hold my beer" right before the fire extinguisher is necessary once again.
#40
I was the f*****g idiot. I thought a French press worked by putting the coffee on top of the plunger, lowering it in, and then pulling it out. My girlfriend really wrestled with whether she could keep dating me after that one.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
I mean, if you're unfamiliar with coffee and thinking it's like loose leaf tea, I could see this happening on the learning curve
Eris Kallisti 2 years ago
I am a coffee professional and honestly, this could work. It might even be an improvement on the regular French press method.
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RedPanda 2 years ago
Indeed. It’s less stupidity and more lack of knowledge.
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DuchessDegu 2 years ago
When I was little I thought I'd surprise my mum by making her coffee, so I put the ground coffee in a mug, pour cold water from a tap (I wasn't allowed to use the stove obviously, also no kettle) add about 8 spoons of sugar and gave it to my mum. She did try it but spat it all out ! I though all coffee was instant coffee 😆
Neuridivergent 2 years ago
I know a guy that broke up with a girl "that would've done anything for him" because she asked if you can get pregnant from swallowing. He requires a higher level of intellectual conversation
Hugh Cookson 2 years ago
The French Press works exactly like that - Ah, no, wait, you're talking about coffee, not journalism .....
Gabriela Cink 2 years ago
I think it is not bad first guess how it could work :D at least now you know.
Tim Martin 2 years ago
That's how the french used it before the English showed them how to use it properly :)
#41
We were having dinner when I mentioned I couldn't eat cheese because I'm lactose intolerant. He asked how I could eat eggs. I told him that lactose was found in dairy, which comes from cows. He vehemently rejected my explanation that eggs did not come from cows and were not dairy, and wouldn't believe me until he googled it for himself.
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
"Well, if they're not dairy, why are they sold in the DAIRY section, smarty pants?"
Hotdogking 2 years ago
Hey, at least he didn’t accuse you of convincing Google to colaberate this like an earlier post
Benita Valdez 2 years ago (edited)
I have had to tell waaaaay too many people that eggs are not dairy. They all really thought that because they were in the dairy section that it meant they were dairy. It wouldn't have been so bad but almost every freaking one were rudely insistent and would not accept it; I was wrong and had no idea what I was talking about. They just could not accept my explanation and quite a few of them believed eggs had lactose and I'm just stupid. Good ol Murican learning for ya
#42
I had an ex that became a nurse, she didn't believe in gravity. I thought she was joking... But she was not. "I think that everything has weight but I don't believe in gravity"
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Bye, bye Whoever this was, a she has likely floated into space by now.
Joe Publique 2 years ago
Terrifyingly, there are also 'nurses' who don't believe in vaccines....
Genericist 2 years ago
I have images of this woman hanging the catheter bag on a drip stand and dangling the IV fluids off the side of the bed, then wondering why Beryl's UTI keeps on getting worse.
#43
It was 1999 and I was a Marine. Her “what is war like?” “ how many wars have you fought in?” “When you jumped out of a plane in enemy territory didn’t you think you might get show down?” She asked these questions for months. I would ask what war is going on or what war could I have been fighting in. She was always super confused and would laugh and say I will open up eventually. She told me she told her Mom when I got out I was going to make tons of money as a parachute repair man. To this day I have no idea what she was talking about. I told her tons of times I never jumped and it was rare for marines to be airborne.
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
Mostly because of the lack of repeat business.
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Rahul Pawa 2 years ago
Sounds like someone who doesn't understand that most war movies are about the same few wars.
Anne Reid 2 years ago
Maybe she was thinking of the first Gulf War? It was in the early 90s.
Load More Replies... Adam L 2 years ago
"Hi, I need a parachute repaired.... yeah, I'm wearing it now and falling.... uh huh, yeah, I think I could keep myself up here for a half an hour.... some lady told me gravity doesn't exist, so if I lose some of this extra weight I'm carrying I should be fine.... oh wow, that ground is getting closer, is the repair guy close?..... he has that many visits before mine?.... maybe if I close my eyes....." *dial tone*
#44
He thought the outlet plug covers (for childproofing) meant the outlet was out-of-order. He literally had nothing plugged into the walls of his entire living room. He also mentioned how smart he was any chance he got.... usually a prime indicator.
Zoe Vokes 2 years ago
He might have been smart (done well in exams because he could memorise information), but that doesn’t mean he has any common sense. It doesn’t mean he has a high IQ and is good with logical thinking. There are different kinds of smart. But bragging about it constantly is very annoying.
#45
Had been casually dating a girl for a few weeks. I was on my way to the mall one day when she called me. She said she would meet me there to hang out. Told her to park on the North side of the mall and meet me at the entrance. Took her forever to show up. She said she got confused when I told her to meet me on the North side of the mall. After a few questions I found out that she thought North was just whatever way she was facing. If she was watching the sunrise she thought the sun rose in the North because that’s the way she was facing.
Fxnglhl 2 years ago
i used to think like that when i was like, 7, but my dad quickly corrected me
René Sauer 2 years ago
Hm, If the different lots are clearly indicated by signs (like Parking lot north this way) it would be one thing. But if I asked you for the way and you start with :"First go north..." I will stare at you with empty eyes because I would have no Idea what to do with this explanation. Just say "First go straight that way, turn left at the third light etc."
Jan Rosier 2 years ago
So, giving directions around town (or a mall for that matter) using North, East South or West is not just a movies thing then? Always thought it was... must be a USA thing then. I have never heard it being used in any major city in Europe.
Linda Ellis 2 years ago
It's A guy thing. Don't do that. Say, go to the Sunoco station and take right, past the KFC and left at the Dunkin.
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Linda Ellis 2 years ago
Women hate it when you give North, South, East, West directions. Don't ever do that. Say ,"by the Macys" "by the Applebees". She'll know.
Geoffrey Scott 2 years ago
That was ONE thing I managed to teach my kids. If you know where north is, you will rarely be confused when lost. Both had times where it worked (go Dad!)
#46
I had to work overtime so I asked her to go to my house to check on my dog and the litter of puppies. I said they're in the front bedroom in the baby pool. I said to check on the runt and help it attach to the nipple. Her response was, "that's so crazy that they can eat underwater".... I was dumbfounded.
Feathered Dinosaur 2 years ago
Ok, puppies bathing in a swimming pool was my first thought as well. Would have been adorable, though
Little L 2 years ago
Yeah, I thought about a swimming pool as well. But the next step is... not that smart.
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#47
She was late 30s and thought all bluebirds were boys and all robins are girls. “Because that’s how it always is in cartoons!”
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
wait till she hears that coyotes are not in fact super geniuses who buy a lot of tech from Acme Corp.
Cougar Allen 2 years ago
And that coyotes can run faster than roadrunners....
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#48
"someday a robot will replace you at your job, you need to get a degree and do better"... I am an engineer who installs and maintains machines with 2-4 robots in each one. Surprise!!! We are no longer together.
#49
She found a coin in the couch and exclaimed "WOW this is a REALLY big nickel" to which I responded "That's because its a quarter"
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
That seems less like stupidity and more like a catastrophic brainfart.
ShaZam Beaubien 2 years ago
She must have missed that day in elementary school reviewing money.
TomCat 2 years ago
I forgot about that! They used to use little cardboard cutouts of coins 😊
Load More Replies... #50
Me and this girl I was dating **many** years ago were watching a found footage movie on netflix. It was clearly edited, every shot used "the rule of thirds," to an almost painful extent in every selfie shot, and there were a million moments where someone was running for their lives, but kept the camera perfectly focused on themselves. Half way through she told me she loves this movies because "it's all real footage." I thought she was f*****g joking until I realized she wasn't. It took a solid half an hour of going through IMDB and wikipedia pages before she finally understood how movies worked. We ended up breaking up soon after for a completely unrelated reason involving talking animals, so that relationship was just not meant to last. EDIT: Here's the full story about the animal thing and a quick explanation of why I left it out (if it wasn't already obvious by the length lol). https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/11em062/comment/jajjuil/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3
Donkey boi 2 years ago (edited)
Having read the story about the talking animals, I do not believe that she is an idiot. She is definitely mentally ill, but not an idiot.
VeninTheNonBinaryRogue 2 years ago
Can someone please give me a short breakdown of the animal story I can’t access Reddit 😭
#51
Four hours into our first date, as I am luring him into my apartment with indecent intentions, he asked me if maybe I’d want to go on a date with him sometime. Married that f*****g idiot, going ten years strong. ETA: glad you all enjoyed! He got me back a few weeks later, he called me his girlfriend to someone and I was shocked, even though he’d been staying at my apartment every night and had a key to play with the cat when he got off work before me.
Christian Fuller 2 years ago
Shortly after my S.O. and I started dating, she changed her relationship status on Facebook to "It's complicated." Then she came up to me and asked if it was complicated, and I had no clue what she was talking about, because I'm dumb like that. 14 years later, and we're still together.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
That's actually a little wholesome and sweet. She wanted to let people know she wasn't available anymore but didn't want to be too presumptuous about your relationship status, lol 😆. I'm sure you worked it out quickly enough.
Load More Replies... #52
When he mistook a red bell pepper for a tomato. Not from a distance, like chose it out of the fridge and asked, this Tomato? Like wtf? (And I never put my tomatoes in the fridge either.) My sister still brings it up 13 years later and I haven’t been with him in 12 years. 😂
Erin E 2 years ago
“I don’t want a nation of thinkers. I want a nation of workers” - Rockefeller. It hasn’t changed for the 1%
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#53
When I said “I’m 1/4 Portuguese” and he said “Sorry patronaa12, I don’t date Black girls” EDIT: Wow I was not expecting this comment to take off the way it has. FYI, this was when I was 15 and dating my high school boyfriend. Today, he is engaged to an actual Black woman 😂
InfiniteZeek 2 years ago
Maybe he grew as a person. Rectified his thinking, and is no longer racist. I like to believe in self-growth.
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#54
I had to explain to an ex that putting in a tampon was not, in fact, “awesome” (his descriptor)
Marie Dahme 2 years ago
Oh this is so infuriating! Men…please stop explaining to women how our bodies work. You don’t have a uterus, two Fallopian tubes, two ovaries, a cervix, an endometrial lining inside the uterus (that’s the part the sheds every month guys. Endometrial grows, The ovary drops an egg, it travels down the Fallopian tubes and nestles itself inside the endometrial lining of the uterus. If after about 3 days if the egg is not fertilized (sex). ….the body rejects the egg and the cushiony lining for the egg and that’s called a period.). Shoving a dry cottony piece of fiber inside a dry vaginal canal….yes guys, we don’t stay hot and moist 24/7… really hurts. When it’s dry it shrinks up. And shoving something a regular or super absorbent tampon hurts like hell. Some women hate it so much, We just rather wear a pad. And even with tampon,, we have to change them often or else our bodies can poison us and we die. It’s called toxic shock syndrome and it’s real. Educate yourself.
Owen 2 years ago (edited)
To be fair, most men don't know anything about menstruation. I blame that more on taboos in society than men. Women don't talk about it (some) men are scared by it. It's so silly, I think more should be taught in schools. It's part of life. I still don't know what brand or pad my GF uses, and she's embarrased to talk about it.
marvellady 2 years ago
Ok I am seriously convinced that guys think by putting a tampon in, they think it’s like walking around all day with a dildo in.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Well, that would be uncomfortable and not feel good either,especially trying to sit down with that in there. Sitting down with a tampon in that isn't placed into a proper position can be painful and irritating, much less something a great deal larger.
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
Ugh. Imagine the thrill he thinks you get by him merely shoving himself inside you.
Mike Fitzpatrick 2 years ago
Hand him one and tell him to give it a go. Then sit back and open a beer while waiting for the fun to begin.
#55
he didn’t know where the ankle was. I hurt my ankle when he dropped me (on accident), and he went to look at it and said it looked fine as he was touching my calf. I was like well yeah cause that’s not my ankle. silence. then arguing about how it was my ankle and me telling him it was my leg not my ankle and having to explain what an ankle was.
#56
Japanese ex I caught sleeping around at the height of the AIDs crisis told me not to worry, Japanese people can't catch it. ETA - WOW! Didn't know this would take off like this. Backstory makes it even more absurd, she was a graduate of a prestigious university in Tokyo and earned a Masters in the US and had lived here for a while. I had about burned out on the relationship but this put me out the door.
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I would argue the AIDS crisis part ended when we finally developed drugs to treat it. During the height of AIDS, there was nothing to stop an HIV positive person getting full blown AIDS, it was seen as just a matter of time. Now they can effectively treat people to where they’re undetectable. I understand if your argument is coming from the perspective that it’s still raging in poorer countries with insufficient healthcare, but I think that’s a different argument.
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RajunCajun 2 years ago
this makes since if you have ever lived in Japan. They are still being taught that Japanese people are physically different that other humans. I spent an hour trying to get my ex Japanese GF to believe that Japanese and Black girls vaginas are in the same location and faced the same way.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Last stats I saw was that approx 30% of our young women (SA) have HIV, so no, AIDS is still a thing.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
I understand Japanese people are pretty resilient body-wise but being immune to AIDS is kinda pushing it, me thinks... But all-in-all, just don't sleep around if you're seeing someone already.
#57
Not a bad way, but a "she's my idiot" way: Friend says, "do either of you remember the name of the rat from Ninja Turtles?" My girlfriend says, "ratatouille?" Been dating her for a long time.
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I’m not sure I’d classify someone that doesn’t know the name of cartoon characters as an idiot at all.
#58
Turned down multiple pay rises, promotions because it would put her in the next tax bracket. She, and backed up by to her idiot parents believed she would be earning a lot less due to the higher tax over the whole amount. I tried to explain but she was very determined to be an idiot forever. Even going as far as saying she wouldn't get any help from welfare if she kept earning.. Trash for life.
Nicola Roberts 2 years ago
I've worked in finance/payroll most of my adult life and I still can't explain to my sister that if you have a second job, or overtime that you're not being taxed more than if you had the one job that just had a higher salary. (UK with the correct tax codes)
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
It is very difficult to transition from state help with a minimum wage job to making too much money to get the help anymore because you lose your insurance and goid assistance but are barely making the money to not even cover the help you were getting. We aren't on food anymore but can barely afford it so I understand where this girl was coming from. Sounds like she was not working anywhere that would go very far or pay very much more if she was to be promoted since she was still getting welfare as well. A lot of people can never understand these situations until you live them and will just write people off as trash. And by another tax bracket she was likely referring to the income limits to receive state help.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
It's a messed up system that screws you when you do get a job and you lose far more than the little bit you could make.
Load More Replies... Linda Ellis 2 years ago
I'm convinced TFG became President because of these type of people. Just too dumb.
Joe Publique 2 years ago (edited)
Depends on what country you live in. Sometimes, this is true. :)
#59
He complained that his boss was questioning how he addressed emails to him. So I asked, how are you addressing those email. He gave this example: Ha Mike. I said you’re saying Ha instead of Hi? He said yes because Ha was an abbreviation for Hey. Yup, that was the moment.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
In my country we have a horrible accent so "Hi" does in fact sound like "Hah".
#60
My x would blow me off about a topic I knew a lot about. But when her brother said the same thing she took it as gospel, and would fight me when I would point out I said that too….
#61
My ex once went to a halal butcher and asked for bacon. Just in case you don't know, pork is non-halal. The same ex was offered beef bacon by the butcher, then to be healthier tried to fry it in water. What she ended up serving me was greyish parboiled beef bacon with the texture and toughness of warm spandex. Bless her innocent heart.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
I gather the butchers were good enough to point out the Haram aspect of pork to her. Just saying that in some places, they might actually take offense to the request.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
yeah not everyone knows the terminology. Thanks for clarifying. In case anyone wants the jewish terms : kosher/treif.
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der sebbl 2 years ago
Wouldn't call this stupidity, just lack of knowledge combined with good intentions
Load More Replies... #62
The moment she attempted to call a "dog” into her car to get it out of the rain. Dog = fox with rabies
#63
"I don't want to go to St Louis it's a dirty city in dirty Detroit " A commercial for the film The Martian came on the TV. "Is that a true story? Like did he really do that?" Same person.
#64
She didn’t know the difference between a country and a continent
OwenHasADHD 2 years ago
Idk man, I know the difference between country and continent and I am schooled in the US, the US education thing is kinda a stereotype
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Miranda Veracruz de la Joya Cardenal 2 years ago
A lot of people in the USA call the country America. It's like China deciding to call themselves Asia.
Colin 2 years ago
In their defence so do people in Canada, the UK and other areas of the world
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#65
Hilariously, she was very brilliant (Masters degree) but had some pretty silly moments, most noteworthy: She received new registration for her car. Tags are taped to the registration. Rather than remove the adhesive back from the sticker, she used the piece of tape to attach it to her license plate. It fell off after a drive, and I will never forget the look on her face when I explained to her that her tags were a sticker. She had been driving for 15 years at this point.
Joe Publique 2 years ago
When will we realise that a Master's degree doesn't necessarily mean that someone is intelligent? I had a GF once who had a Masters and she thought that flying south was faster than flying north because (in her words) south is downhill and north is uphill.
Bored Trash Panda 2 years ago
My moms roommate is a member of MENSA, but she is a f*****g idiot.
#66
When my current girlfriend mistook my La Croix's as alcoholic seltzer, downed four of them, and then said "I drank like four of these, and I'm not even buzzed".
What do you think ?
Smokey Too 2 years ago
I don't want to be rude, but I couldn't date a stupid or uneducated person. What the hell would you talk about?!
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My girlfriend is smart as a whip. Taught me so much about history, human rights, she speaks three languages. I told her last week that she can let the shower warm up before getting in
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Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
One time I was at the movies with my sisters and a Chik-Fila commercial came on with an ad to get a free sandwich coupon through an email code and my 19 year old sister says (loud AF so the whole theater heard) "wait.... but how do you email a sandwich???" I died.
White Paper Tsuru 2 years ago
I couldn't read past the top 10 entries. It hurt my soul too much to continue
RedMarbles 2 years ago (edited)
I know a lot of these are funny and entertaining and I laughed at several. But I have to say we really shouldn't shame anyone for having low intelligence. They deserve no blame for not being smart and smart people deserve no credit for being smart. I'm not talking about education, but the inherent level of intelligence that's programmed in our DNA. If the person is refusing to allow that something may be true just because they don't understand it in spite of plenty of evidence to the contrary, I think that warrants criticism. But we really need to start treating people who aren't very smart with more respect because they are clearly feeling disrespected and apparently that makes them turn to people who intentionally dumb things down in a misleading or downright false way to court their support. And we all lose when that happens.
Irish woman abroad 2 years ago
It's one thing to not be naturally very bright, but it's another to want to remain ignorant. All of us learned how to survive in this world by observing and learning from the adults around us, but more and more people just seem to want to remain ignorant, which is a serious problem.
Load More Replies... Linda Ellis 2 years ago
My 1st husband thought every woman got her period on the 28th of the month. He was 30 and we had been married 5 years and had 2 kids.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
What were all these men doing during sex ed??? I guess menstruation was the "boring bit" they didn't listen to
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I’ve had a lot of dumb moments but this list makes me feel better knowing that I won’t be at this level anytime soon
Michelle C 2 years ago
I once convinced a girl that smoking light cigarettes are better because they have less calories...she was so proud when she showed me the following weekend that she switched from full flavor to lights and somehow felt better...LOL!
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My girlfriend is smart as a whip. Taught me so much about history, human rights, she speaks three languages. I told her last week that she can let the shower warm up before getting in. Also, she watched me date crappy people I barely knew for 5 years and didn’t ask me out because she was scared of rejection
Ellie Ahmed 2 years ago
My husband has a PhD, and when we first started dating I discovered that he legitimately thought Texas was the capital city of Alabama.
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Smokey Too 2 years ago
I don't want to be rude, but I couldn't date a stupid or uneducated person. What the hell would you talk about?!
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My girlfriend is smart as a whip. Taught me so much about history, human rights, she speaks three languages. I told her last week that she can let the shower warm up before getting in
Load More Replies... Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
One time I was at the movies with my sisters and a Chik-Fila commercial came on with an ad to get a free sandwich coupon through an email code and my 19 year old sister says (loud AF so the whole theater heard) "wait.... but how do you email a sandwich???" I died.
White Paper Tsuru 2 years ago
I couldn't read past the top 10 entries. It hurt my soul too much to continue
RedMarbles 2 years ago (edited)
I know a lot of these are funny and entertaining and I laughed at several. But I have to say we really shouldn't shame anyone for having low intelligence. They deserve no blame for not being smart and smart people deserve no credit for being smart. I'm not talking about education, but the inherent level of intelligence that's programmed in our DNA. If the person is refusing to allow that something may be true just because they don't understand it in spite of plenty of evidence to the contrary, I think that warrants criticism. But we really need to start treating people who aren't very smart with more respect because they are clearly feeling disrespected and apparently that makes them turn to people who intentionally dumb things down in a misleading or downright false way to court their support. And we all lose when that happens.
Irish woman abroad 2 years ago
It's one thing to not be naturally very bright, but it's another to want to remain ignorant. All of us learned how to survive in this world by observing and learning from the adults around us, but more and more people just seem to want to remain ignorant, which is a serious problem.
Load More Replies... Linda Ellis 2 years ago
My 1st husband thought every woman got her period on the 28th of the month. He was 30 and we had been married 5 years and had 2 kids.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
What were all these men doing during sex ed??? I guess menstruation was the "boring bit" they didn't listen to
Load More Replies... Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I’ve had a lot of dumb moments but this list makes me feel better knowing that I won’t be at this level anytime soon
Michelle C 2 years ago
I once convinced a girl that smoking light cigarettes are better because they have less calories...she was so proud when she showed me the following weekend that she switched from full flavor to lights and somehow felt better...LOL!
Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My girlfriend is smart as a whip. Taught me so much about history, human rights, she speaks three languages. I told her last week that she can let the shower warm up before getting in. Also, she watched me date crappy people I barely knew for 5 years and didn’t ask me out because she was scared of rejection
Ellie Ahmed 2 years ago
My husband has a PhD, and when we first started dating I discovered that he legitimately thought Texas was the capital city of Alabama.
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