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30 Child-Free People That Ended Up Having Kids Reveal Why And How It Worked Out
Lots of things can change over time, from minor ones such as favorite food to something way more significant. For quite a few people, one of the most important decisions in life is whether or not to have children; and even though some people believe they’d rather stay child-free, they too can change their mind about it.
Redditor u/Informal_Birthday224 was curious about how people feel after such a change of heart. They addressed the parents among the ‘Ask Reddit’ community members, who were dead set on never having kids before they met “the one”, and asked whether it ended up being a regretful decision or not. Fellow redditors provided an abundance of answers, covering all sorts of scenarios and points of view and revealing why they did or did not regret having children. Scroll down to find them on the list below.
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#1
I never wanted to have kids.
Then I started dating someone who had one.
Thing is...the single mom was not - ultimately - "the one." We got divorced and went our separate ways. But the kid?
That was a different story. Her bio-dad was out of the picture (he literally skipped town the day she was born) and I stepped into that role when she was 6 years old after nobody else would. Unconditional love from the get-go.
When her mom and I split up 6 years later, I told her that "no matter what happens, I will always be here for you." I kept that promise, and am the guy who's got a stack of Father's Day cards and walked her down the aisle at her wedding.
I have no regrets.
Charlie the Cat 2 years ago (edited)
I am Dad to a 6 year old girl. I met her Mum when she was 18 months old. I may not be her bio-father, but I am 100% her Dad. Love you Pandorah 💗
KittyMommy 2 years ago
Hugs! My mom's second husband is my dad. He was the one who raised me and loved me. There's an old line - any fool can be a father, it takes a real man to be a dad
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Horosho Bodka 2 years ago
I've taken over for two kids, one at 2 months, one at 7 years. They're both in the late 30's now, and I'm the only "Daddy" they have, by their choice. They know the whole story, and I'm lucky they still choose me.
RELATED:
#2
My husband swore up and down that he didn’t believe in marriage or kids. I was always told I couldn’t have kids, and was just out of an 8 year-long relationship when I met him. I wanted to have fun, and he seemed like a great person.
Three months in, and I remember just looking at him and knowing… This was it. This was my person. A year later, he started talking about marriage while we were on a camping trip. Little did we know we also conceived our first son during that trip…
A month goes by, and I’m feeling sick and nauseous all the time. I end up buying a pregnancy test and discover that, yep. I’m pregnant. I go home to our house, and decide to let him off the hook. I want the baby, but I’m not going to make him be a part of a child’s life if he doesn’t want to be.
I sit down to tell him, and the moment I look at him, I can’t help but blurt it out. He got the biggest, silliest grin on his face. And said ‘yes, let’s do it! I want it all. I want to marry you. I want to have children with you. All of it!’
I didn’t believe him for another two months. Not until he took me away for the weekend, and proposed.
I will never forget the love in his eyes as he kneeled down and asked me to marry him. It was pouring down rain and I could still see the tears of happiness in his eyes when I said yes.
We now have two (miracles!! I was given less than 1% chance of having one child, let alone TWO) kiddos, and are extremely happy together. He is the best father. He is best buddies with our boys. I melt each time I see them all together.
My SIL says that she never believed in love until she saw our relationship. ❤️
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
This makes my heart burst with happiness. Being told children are an impossibility is so painful, I’m so glad it wasn’t how it turned out
#3
Ayooo, never wanted kids, tequila said, "hold my beer!"
Didn't find out until my then girlfriend was something like five months along because she was having her period on time the whole time. We found out the gender the same appointment we found out we were expecting.
We went home, freaked out, cried, and generally wallowed in our own self pity.
I was raised by a single mom and a parade of her boyfriends in conjunction with a s****y dad and his parade of new wives. I decided right there that I would be the dad I wish I had growing up.
Wife and I are celebrating thirteen amazing years together and the little guy turns eleven next month.
He is the light of our lives.
#4
I never wanted kids. Met my now wife and she wanted kids. When I say she talked me into having one child, it wasn’t like she was nagging me or anything like that. But she did talk me into it. After trying for a few years and nothing happening we got into foster care. Which totally change my outlook. I went from not wanting any kids, to wanting to help as many children as possible. Being a foster dad and seeing what some of these children go through is heartbreaking. Anyways we ended up adopting a girl (who turns three on July 2nd), who was in our care since she was 2 days old. And we had another girl not long after (after we stopped treatments to help with pregnancy). I don’t get to travel like I want to, or be spontaneous anymore. But I do not regret anything at all. I’ve found emotions watching them grow up and interact that I didn’t know I had.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
“I’ve found emotions watching them grow up and interact that I didn’t know I had.“ This is a great line and something I’ve heard from many parents.
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
I'd love to be an ACTUAL foster parent (I can't, but have briefly had people in need stay with me) I love this so much! And we (the daughter here) share a birthday! 😊
#5
I don't regret having my daughter, she's the best but I immediately got a vasectomy. Kids are a huge responsibility and I wanna dedicate my full love, attention and resources to her. I wanna be the best dad I can be. The thought of another newborn at home sends shivers down my spine, though.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
I think gentlemen who get vasectomies should go and get regular checkups to make sure their sperm count keeps going down to zero. Vasectomies are not a guarantee of never getting a woman pregnant. There are sperm check vasectomy tests you can buy. Go to your doctor and make sure any way. Better to make sure, if you really don't want more children.
Evolbeky 2 years ago
Seriosuly?? Well f* me. I want to get off birth control pills and my husband is happy to get a vasectomy, but now I have to live in fear. F*
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hearditontheX 2 years ago
Had a child at 18 then married her father. She was a wonderful kid but we simply didn't want a second child. Husband got a vasectomy when he was 22. Know what a lot of people would say but we're still married 50 years later.
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
I have 2 younger brothers. From what I've been able to observe, one is enough.
#6
I met the one when she had a 10 month old girl and an ex that wanted nothing to do with responsibility. I thought I didn't want kids until I held my daughter in my arms. She's 15 now and her sister is 10. Yesterday my daughter said to me she hopes someday she can find someone who will love her the way I love her mother. I'm not a crying type of man but that broke me.
To anyone who says they'll never want children, I say okay no problem, no one should pressure you. But just be open to the idea that you might change someday and that's okay too.
Sweet Taurus 2 years ago
Awe that's how you know you've been an exceptional examples for those kids.
#7
Honestly? I probably shouldn’t have had kids. Couple points of clarification: I don’t know that “regret” is the right term, and I am in the tough time right now where they’re younger and a lot of work. But life is HARD with kids; they’re expensive and exhausting and as a mother you definitely lose a LOT of your identity the second they arrive. My husband is an incredible dad and my kids are gold hearted, beautiful tiny humans. But sending them into a rough world scares me, I gave up my medical career for them, and some days I just think of how nice it would be to travel more and be able to have a good nights sleep. I also don’t think my husband fully appreciates that it was a sacrifice I made for him out of pure, selfless, genuine love for him. I gave him the children he wanted and I love our life, but I’m committed for forever to being a mom and it’s not a job you can half a*s. 🤷♀️
Anouk T 2 years ago
if you think that you have to sacrifice your life for your children you will never be truly happy to have them. Yes your life changes but it’s how you interpret the change that matters.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
Yes exactly. And as they grow it gets easier. After the age of three you can take them pretty much anywhere, you don't have to give up traveling for kids.
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Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Not everyone should be a parent. For those who do choose to be mom and dad, Congratulations and may God bless all of you!!! Books (being able to read, be articulate, and the gift of imagination) and music (learning to enjoy music and play a variety of instruments) are gifts that will bless your children their entire lives. Giving children these two gifts will give them the ability to always entain themselves and help them to be better students. Whether you choose public school, private school or homeschooling, reading and music will help them to learn about themselves and may one day help them to find their careers.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Meant to say music will help them entertain themselves in the above paragraph.
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Beck 2 years ago
Babies are ok until they start walking, then it is rough until they are about 12. That is the age I really looked at spending time with them as something I really really wanted to do, instead of it being something that I just did. Of course we always got along and had fun, but about 12 is when it just feels different. That's sound bad, but maybe you know what I mean.ages 1-11 is exhausting.
#8
My wife told me years ago that she did not want to have kids and I accepted that. We had a nice life of doing what we wanted and I didn't want that to change... then.
After a while I did think about wanting children and luckily she also changed her mind. We have one child now and my wife is the best mother ever. I think I'm a good dad but I'm not even close to how amazing she is as a parent.
So it ended up good.
#9
I never wanted kids. Met my husband and had three. I didn't regret it at all until the world starting going to s**t and I now I feel incredibly guilty that I've brought them into such a dismal reality.
Zophra 2 years ago
When I hear comments like this, I have very mixed emotions. It seems every generation has "dismal reality" and even then, there is always the hope that the next generation will make improvements and be agents of change. Also, I don't think its healthy for children to feel/hear/sense from the parents that they are unfortunately living in a "dismal reality." This is just my unsolicited opinion.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago (edited)
Right? I know climate change is freaking terrifying and the pandemic shook everyone’s confidence but humanity has faced huge ecological disasters before and survived. Can you imagine how terrifying it would’ve been to be alive 10,000 years ago, when the Ice Age world was melting and the mammoths you and your tribe relied on to live were dying? But people survived. Humanity is resilient, and clever when it wants to be.
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Bouche, Audi, and Shyla, oh my! 2 years ago
There is dismal. There is also amazingly awesome. Some things we have that our ancestors didn't: running water, the ability to talk to people on the other side of the world in real time, supermarkets, our knowledge of the universe, pre-made clothing, aluminum foil, medical knowledge, the ability to listen to music at any time, Velcro shoes, refrigeration, air travel, washing machines, microwave ovens, photography, central air, movies, microchips for our pets, HIV is a condition, not a death sentence. The human species is capable of great evil, yes. It is also capable of great good.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
Thank you, Shyla. This made me smile. (And so do the comments from the kitties! Keep it up :D). As a young person, we're always hearing about the depressing state of the world and it's hard not to be sad about it sometimes - but there is always hope, and there is always cats. (I have 2 myself. They remind me to stay calm and take things as they come.)
Load More Replies... Anouk T 2 years ago
People should stop thinking that way. How else will we fix or progress the world if not by bringing up the good people!
Monday 2 years ago
I think the fear is that by the time those good people are old enough to make a change it will be too late to fix the damage. Still no point in overthinking it, best thing we can do is try.
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SmooshieFries 2 years ago
Same. While my heart wants grandbabies, my brain and soul do not. My daughters struggle as it is and I know my grandchildren would too
Tams21 2 years ago (edited)
The children today are the first that are growing up with the consequences of the s**t we've caused as a species. Humans have a history of innovation and pragmatism when it comes to survival and seeing young people like Greta Thunberg and others taking a stand genuinely gives me hope. It's the task of parents and educators to give children the knowledge and skills to succeed.
hearditontheX 2 years ago
Please don't feel guilty. Every generation thinks the world is going to hell in a hand basket
Isaac Harvey 2 years ago
The future is rarely accurately predictable. Within just the second decade of my existence, I have gone from a martial artist to a second-degree black belt with brain cancer and epilepsy- and with an abnormal amount of trauma, along with being a college dropout.
#10
Yeah I never wanted kids. I was *vehemently* against it for 34 years. Then my wife got pregnant (unplanned, whoops) and decided to keep it (her decision but I said I'd support her whatever she chose, because I love her sincerely). I lived in dread throughout the entire pregnancy, and seriously worried whether I'd be a strong enough person to deal with what came next, and whether our relationship would survive it. Then my daughter was born. And, er, yeah I've never been happier in my life. Turns out I didn't know s**t about s**t before. Whole thing actually made me rethink my position on a lot of stuff and made me more open to trying new things. It's hard work and terrifying, but totally worth it to me. Still got plenty of respect for people that decide against having kids though - each to their own.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I like this one. So much respect for his wife and humble enough to admit he was wrong.
#11
I never wanted to get married or have kids. I’m now in bed with my wife who’s pregnant with our second child and I’m excited to celebrate my first sons birthday this weekend.
I can’t believe I almost didn’t experience this. Becoming a father has been by far the best thing that ever happened to me.
#12
My wife and I were of the opinion that we weren't really parent material. Just a couple of big kids with a host of mental issues that barely functioned as adults.
Our kid was an accident, no two ways about it. We struggled with the idea, but in the end, dedicated ourselves to it. Both of us agreed on one thing... To be better parents than our own parents.
Ultimately, it's not for me to decide. But she is safe, and loved, and overall fairly happy. We're not perfect by any means... There are still moments of weakness, missed cues, miscommunication... But at the end of the day, she's my little girl. I love teaching her and playing with her and I'm so glad I didn't let pessimism keep me from one of the best parts of my life.
Tams21 2 years ago
No parent is perfect and it's usually those that know they're not that are better parents than those that think they are.
Timmy Pillinger 2 years ago
Ex teacher - the big division is whether a parent cares. A kid can lack almost everything but if the parent cares about them....
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SarahBee 2 years ago
Something that you can be really proud of is breaking the cycle. My parents messed me up pretty bad, as their parents had messed them up. I learned how to be a good parent by watching my in-laws, and have raised two emotionally healthy kids. Past trauma may have kept me from being my best self, but I did that right!
#13
I never wanted kids, fell in love, decided we wanted a baby, had a healthy baby boy. Three years later my husband died. It was so f*****g hard to raise our son by myself. I love him so deeply and with so much fierceness and I can’t imagine my life without him. However, if I had never known the power of that love, I don’t think I would have regretted not having children.
#14
Dont wait. If you want kids now, do it. I waited- did everything society said I had to do as a woman- college, travel, marriage- sadly, my husband died before we got to really try. We got married in 2014. We started trying then I had a bad miscarriage . We waited a bit then he passed. Not only did I grieve him, I grieved the life we had planned together - the children we didnt get to have, etc. It’s been 5 years since he passed and as you know, dating pool sucks lol so I am looking into just having a child on my own. I am blessed with a great family and support system to be able to do this on my own if I decide to do so.
Thom Serveaux 2 years ago
I don't know about this one...not judging this person, but I would encourage people to be ready before they had a kid. I grew up in poverty and violence because my parents had me right away. They were too young and it was too soon. Kids deserve parents who are able to care for them.
nia not long 2 years ago
I don't she was saying to have a children early and when unprepared. Just don't wait to long once things are perfect because you never know what could happen and how your life could change.
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#15
It's hard to regret having kids. I honestly think we made the wrong decision, but I also wouldn't give up my kiddo for anything in the world.
We are stressed, broke, haven't had a date night in two years, and our mental health is closer to the breaking point on a regular basis than it ever was before.
The sound of that giggling voice, though...
Anouk T 2 years ago
Sounds like you need someone to help you with the kid like a family member a friend… kids are full on but there are ways to live your life as an adult while having kids but you can’t do it without help
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
True. But sometimes people don't really have anyone to ask for help.
Load More Replies... Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
This is why we need to go back to community-based and multi-gen homes.
#16
My GF (26f at time) and I (20m at that time) were driving and a couple kids ran across the road and I had to crash my car to avoid them. After the accident i exploded and beat the steering wheel and said, “GD it! I f-ing hate kids!” She started crying and told me she was pregnant.
I am sitting on the couch now with my grown son and baby grandson. Ex is 1500 miles away.
I have no regrets.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
Wait, what? Who’s the ex - did you break up with that original GF and take the kids? I’m confused…
Funhog 2 years ago
I believe that OP is saying that his son and grandson are now the most important people in his life, despite having previously believed that he hated kids.
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#17
I never wanted them. My then boyfriend, now husband was on the fence. After I married him and saw how he did his fair share of household duties, how supportive he was of my career, I thought "I wouldn't mind having kids if he was going to pull his weight."
So we just went along with the flow and one day I tested positive. Our son is exhausting but he brings so much happiness into our lives. But he brings extreme fear too. When your kid smiles at you and holds your hand, your world lights up. When he falls so sick that he needs to be rushed to the hospital or you see him bleeding from the mouth cos he split his lip... Those were some terrifying moments. You now live your life with your heart walking outside of your body.
Only have kids if you have complete faith in your partner.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
“You now live your life with your heart walking outside of your body.” Poignant.
#18
I grew up having to help raise my uncle's extremely large brood of kids. I saw the toll that being constantly being pregnant and having to look after an ever growing football team's worth of kids had on her. I swore that was never going to be me. I met my husband , and got pregnant by accident twice. My girls are my life now and i'm glad that I had them. I am also glad that we have permanently fixed that issue so we don't have more.
#19
I had a miserable childhood. I cried every day, got screamed at all day long. I never wanted to have kids. All I wanted was to have my own place and be left alone. Never wanted to be with anyone (my mom was miserable because of my dad). Then I met my husband (on reddit too). He was the sweetest funniest person. I remember we had a discussion about kids.. I said I never wanted kids. He said he'd really like to have a mini him but he'd respect my wishes to not have kids. Well, a few pregnancy 'scares' later and I cried every time the test was negative.. I realized I do want kids, a future, house and all that with him. We just bought a house together a few months ago, we just had a baby a few weeks ago who is still in the NICU. Its crazy to think about. I can't answer this question fully since our baby's not even home yet, but people can change. I was dead set on never having kids. But then I found my soul mate and I wanted one.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Having found your soulmate and knowing you were truly in this life together, can sometimes let hidden dreams finally be free.
Kiss Army 2 years ago
We too said we didn't want kids until a pregnancy scare left us both disappointed, then after 9 years of trying I finally got pregnant. They told us it was twins but we lost one. We had our son and he was the only one we were able to have. He will be 22 next month and he and his girlfriend both live with us - they are both the absolute best!
#20
It's yes to both. Sometimes I regret it. Other times I realize it was a wonderful decision. Life can be both.
#21
This is a hard one. Because some days it feels so worth it, but other days I just feel like I f****d up. It's 100% a mixed bag for me. I'm not the person I was before having a kid, and I miss that person so much. She'll never come back. So I can get regretful of stuff like that. On the flip side, sometimes it's just so amazing to watch your kid grow and learn. But she drives me nuts too lol
SarahBee 2 years ago
You know the good and the bad thing is that they grow up. When they're little, it's all hands on deck. Then they're in school, and need to be driven places. Then they're in high school, and become more and more independent. Then they leave, and it's devastating. And freeing.
#22
My husband and I have been married for almost 12 years. We married really young and originally he wanted to have kids right away. I told him no because even though I had just finished my undergraduate degree, I wanted to travel and eventually go back to school for my graduate degree. Because of his job, we end up moving to Europe. We loved it and traveled so much and enjoyed every minute of it. During that time we went back and forth on having kids but "ultimately" deciding we didn't want them because we didn't want the added expense, time commitment, etc.,. We end up moving back to the US, and I start my graduate degree. During that time I cannot shake the feeling of wanting to have a kid. I bring this up to him and he says he's been feeling the same way. Mind you, during this time we're still happy and in love and nothing is essentially "missing" from our marriage. The love and trust is still there and we're both still having fun after so many years. After having a long and in-depth conversation about having a child, we decided to go for it. Our son was born in the middle of the pandemic in 2020 and I absolutely do not regret it. Yes this experience has changed our lives, but for the best He's taught me that life is more than my career (I use to be a workaholic), how to have boundaries at work, patience, how to break generational curses, and how to be a better partner to my husband. My son has also brought both me and my husband closer to our parents and siblings. I'm so excited to teach him about life and hope to have a good relationship with him well into his adult years.
#23
I never wanted kids, ever.
Then my girlfriend and I had one.
And it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.
Sure, there are days when I’m tired, or frustrated, and he’s not listening, or misbehaving and I think I’m at my limit.
But then there’s days where I teach him about “why he has to share the sun with other people” (he wants it to be light out all day/night) or I watch him learn new words reading books or singing songs, or I see him perform tasks I didn’t know he was capable of, or he tells me about the oceans or shells or bugs that he learned about in daycare.
And it’s so f*****g cool to watch him learn new things, figure things out and learn about the world.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Your mileage may vary.
#24
Was dead set on not having kids before marrying my wife, and even post marriage it took a lot of internal growth to become comfortable with it. There are distinct sacrifices you'll make; Drastically less personal time (it'll shrink a bit just by getting a partner, and then the kid will eat into it further). Drastically less income, much of it will go towards your partner and your kid with only the scraps left for yourself. Drastically less mobility, kids are a massive chore to manage; it's an extra bag to pack, often two, more overall concern for safety, and circling back to costs eventually it's an extra ticket. Was it a good decision? Up to the individual, there are days I wonder but the kiddo ultimately does make me happy and it makes my wife extremely happy. To me, my son grounded my life a bit; I don't want to say "gave it purpose" or "meaning" because I had/have a good career and I found fulfillment from that but like a pet can enrich our lives so can our kids (to an even greater extent). Still young into the journey of raising my son (he is only 11 months old) but I would imagine once he is talking and expressing more of his own opinion it'll get better (and maybe those hard days, harder). Do I regret it? No, but I totally understand those that don't want one either.
#25
Never wanted kids, met my husband, decided we would make some great kids. So we had one. Adamant about being one and done the whole pregnancy. I was sick every day. ER twice for dehydration. My son is 7 months old and we're planning on one more. I miss things but definitely no regrets.
#26
I never intended to have kids. My "the one" had one and I took her in as my own at her age of 1.5
Fast forward 5 years and we had a big oopsie. Now we have our own flesh and blood daughter. It was a brutal experience because she was cholicy and had ADHD.
But my daughters (19 and 24 respectively) are both the most amazing women and I couldn't be more proud of them and of being their dad/step-dad.
My youngest [my daughter] and I are best friends. 🥰
#27
I never wanted children. I think I was one of the most vocal people in my environment about disliking children and never wanting that level of restriction on my freedom. But then I turned 28, and something just changed in me. So I decided to have one.. and surprisingly, I love everything about being a parent. Now, I don’t do the whole mom identity thing and all that, and most my friends don’t have kids still. But I do know I want 3 children now, and feel like having kids has been the most meaningful and enjoyable thing I’ve done in my life. I am currently expecting baby #2 and really exited about getting to relive all the baby stages again. I totally did a 180 in other words!
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
It is OK not to want kids. OP is showing us that it is equally OK to change your mind. :)
#28
The best thing that ever happened to me was becoming a father. My son gave me the structure I needed and the purpose to not just grow up, but to finally realize this life was about something greater than myself. He's 17 now and I literally couldn't be prouder of who he has become. I think about my life and honestly, I might not even be here if he wasn't born.
#29
I never wanted kids and neither did my husband. Got married at 25 and 27, then at 27 and 29 we both suddenly wanted kids. I’m so f*****g grateful that we both changed our minds, we really lucked out in that regard. 2 kids later and I couldn’t be happier that we did.
#30
I have a step son who was 5 when I met him. He’s 23 and always seeks me out to show me love. I always wanted a baby girl and it sucks I lost that chance.
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago (edited)
What kind of post is this?? "oh ya, I have a stepson and he's cool I guess, but I always wanted a girl..."
Alex Luiz 2 years ago
Also, it's 'people who didn't want kids but changed their mind '. This person clearly wanted kids but didn't get a biological one.
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Montanavanna 2 years ago
Husband and I got married at 22 and 25. Decided we did not want children. Fast forward to 33 and 36. We had some really dark years because of addiction. I was assaulted which resulted in a pregnancy that I hid until the day I went into labor. He was immediately accepted and loved by everyone in our families. That baby quite literally saved our lives! When I look at him I don't see what happened to me. We got cleaned up, got our s**t together and are more stable then we ever were before. After trying and trying for a year we were able to give him a little sister. Our son knew we needed him and was going to find anyway he could to get to us. He and his sister are the greatest gifts we have ever received. I have zero regrets about our perfectly imperfect family.
#31
My boyfriend was born to be a father and took away my doubts and fears of being a parent. And I don't regret it. Our daughter is almost 3 (not an easy age), and I love being her mom. Second child is due this summer. It's not always easy and I'm very lucky with my partner. I wouldn't have had kids with anyone else.
#32
great decision. my kid's wildly interesting.
never really wanted a kid. got married. she wanted a kid. i was bored enough to tolerate one. we had one. took fertility treatments and everything. ended up costing money just to get her pregnant. 😦
but he's the perfect mixture of the both of us and he's incredible. and i can actually give him a solid childhood, which neither of us had. zero regrets about it.
#33
I did not intend on having kids. Then I met my husband and he was okay with not having kids. After about a year of dating, we found out we were pregnant………. just 7.5 months along. As soon as we found out, we realized how much we both wanted a child. Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with, but it’s beyond rewarding. Not sure if we’ll have another child, but for now, we are more than happy giving our all to our child.
#34
I never wanted kids either, but it brought fulfillment to my life and it truly makes me happy. I regret it because he was not the One. I don’t regret my babies, just regret having to break up a household.
What do you think ?
Erin Geiger 2 years ago
I know I'm going to sound like a curmudgeon but there have to be some responses that weren't included. Husband and I don't have/want kids. Most of our friends do. I'd say at least 25% of them regret having kids. Not in a joking way.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago (edited)
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Id row 2 years ago
I feel like these were all skewed and only showing the ones that were like, "Oh, nope, no way am I having kids, don't want them. But surprise! I met the right person and suddenly wanted them and they're the best thing ever!" That is so unrealistic that it borders on ridiculous. I feel like these were creative writing exercises for Sunday school or something.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago (edited)
This post hit home so hard for me. I’m five months pregnant for the very first time at nearly 40 years old. I never thought I’d have kids but here I am knocked up, and freaking thrilled about it. I needed time in life to learn to manage my own health and learn enough about relationships to not settle for a partner who was an abusive äss… but when I hit a place of physical and psychological safety, I was able to imagine a different kind of life. I don’t know what being a parent is going to be like, but I’m so excited to find out
XenoMurph 2 years ago
It's honestly the best thing ever. Being tired is just part of the course in the first year or so. Expect it, embrace it, and don't let it get to you too much. Enjoy the fun and silliness of it all.
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ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Oooh, pick me!!! As a rather carefree, gay man with wanderlust, never imagined having children. Super close friend I’ve known since 1980 (I was 10) ask hubby & me if one of us would donate so she could have a child. We debated & eventually declined, but offered to be awesome gunkles. She used a sperm bank & had a boy in 2014. I was her delivery coach. She was diagnosed with stage 4 metastasized cancer in her 1st trimester. We moved thru the pregnancy with the notion that hubby & I would adopt him. We went thru foster & adoption classes/certification. She passed away shortly after his birth. I retired to be a SAHD, now semi-retired so I can be a parent. He turned 9 this past spring. He only knows of us as his daddies & has no memory of his mom other than what we share to keep her a part of his life. Never in the first 40 years of my life had I ever considered being anything more than an uncle to my nieces & nephews. He was the greatest thing to happen to me.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
You and your husband are beautiful human beings and your selfless act is larger than life <3 I hope gay couples would some day be able to adopt a child in every country, starting with mine.
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Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
My son’s biological father ejaculated inside me without permission and got me pregnant at 19. The morning after pill wasn’t really a thing at the time. He then $&@%ed off and continued to get arrested repeatedly for drugs and violence. I don’t regret having my child, nor keeping his sperm donor out of the picture. My son’s father may be a loser but my son has made me a much better person.
TheReader19 2 years ago
Always wanted a yacht and a Rolls Royce not kids. Ended up with two kids and a partner who was my third. On many occasions I said I wish I didn't have kids; they are now in their twenties and I wish I had five more but dumped their dad sooner. I can't remember any of the hard times really just the fun we had. They're so happy I'm their mum and love me loads. I even took in one of the youngest friends who calls me mum. All you can do is your best, I've even found out that in my case love is actually enough.
Lem Johnson 2 years ago
How nice for them, still would rather drink battery acid than have children.
Amelia Jade 2 years ago
I have a hard time understanding those who say they gave up themselves to be a mom. I've raised three--my youngest is 16--and I never felt that way. I always maintained my own identity, never gave up my interests or hobbies. Maybe because I had a solid partner? Or it was because I always wanted to be a mom? Part of me wonders if it is a choice to lose yourself, or maybe I'm unaware of privilege that allowed me not to? I don't know. I've also never felt like we had to sacrifice the things we wanted--like travel, etc. We just always incorporated the kids into whatever it was we were doing. For example, we're avid hikers, and we never had to give up hiking because we had kids. We just took them with us. I don't feel like our lifestyle changed at all with kids. We just folded them into our existing lifestyle.
Cloudy 2 years ago (edited)
I know I'm still young, but so don't want kids. I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't think I would be a good parent. I have too many problems and I wouldn't want to subject them to have to suffer because of my issues.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Honestly, get counselling or treatment. My life is transformed after getting help for PTSD. Never thought I could ever be truly happy, but now I really can. I hope you can find a better place .
Load More Replies... Erin Geiger 2 years ago
I know I'm going to sound like a curmudgeon but there have to be some responses that weren't included. Husband and I don't have/want kids. Most of our friends do. I'd say at least 25% of them regret having kids. Not in a joking way.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago (edited)
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Load More Replies... Id row 2 years ago
I feel like these were all skewed and only showing the ones that were like, "Oh, nope, no way am I having kids, don't want them. But surprise! I met the right person and suddenly wanted them and they're the best thing ever!" That is so unrealistic that it borders on ridiculous. I feel like these were creative writing exercises for Sunday school or something.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago (edited)
This post hit home so hard for me. I’m five months pregnant for the very first time at nearly 40 years old. I never thought I’d have kids but here I am knocked up, and freaking thrilled about it. I needed time in life to learn to manage my own health and learn enough about relationships to not settle for a partner who was an abusive äss… but when I hit a place of physical and psychological safety, I was able to imagine a different kind of life. I don’t know what being a parent is going to be like, but I’m so excited to find out
XenoMurph 2 years ago
It's honestly the best thing ever. Being tired is just part of the course in the first year or so. Expect it, embrace it, and don't let it get to you too much. Enjoy the fun and silliness of it all.
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 2 years ago
Oooh, pick me!!! As a rather carefree, gay man with wanderlust, never imagined having children. Super close friend I’ve known since 1980 (I was 10) ask hubby & me if one of us would donate so she could have a child. We debated & eventually declined, but offered to be awesome gunkles. She used a sperm bank & had a boy in 2014. I was her delivery coach. She was diagnosed with stage 4 metastasized cancer in her 1st trimester. We moved thru the pregnancy with the notion that hubby & I would adopt him. We went thru foster & adoption classes/certification. She passed away shortly after his birth. I retired to be a SAHD, now semi-retired so I can be a parent. He turned 9 this past spring. He only knows of us as his daddies & has no memory of his mom other than what we share to keep her a part of his life. Never in the first 40 years of my life had I ever considered being anything more than an uncle to my nieces & nephews. He was the greatest thing to happen to me.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
You and your husband are beautiful human beings and your selfless act is larger than life <3 I hope gay couples would some day be able to adopt a child in every country, starting with mine.
Load More Replies... Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
My son’s biological father ejaculated inside me without permission and got me pregnant at 19. The morning after pill wasn’t really a thing at the time. He then $&@%ed off and continued to get arrested repeatedly for drugs and violence. I don’t regret having my child, nor keeping his sperm donor out of the picture. My son’s father may be a loser but my son has made me a much better person.
TheReader19 2 years ago
Always wanted a yacht and a Rolls Royce not kids. Ended up with two kids and a partner who was my third. On many occasions I said I wish I didn't have kids; they are now in their twenties and I wish I had five more but dumped their dad sooner. I can't remember any of the hard times really just the fun we had. They're so happy I'm their mum and love me loads. I even took in one of the youngest friends who calls me mum. All you can do is your best, I've even found out that in my case love is actually enough.
Lem Johnson 2 years ago
How nice for them, still would rather drink battery acid than have children.
Amelia Jade 2 years ago
I have a hard time understanding those who say they gave up themselves to be a mom. I've raised three--my youngest is 16--and I never felt that way. I always maintained my own identity, never gave up my interests or hobbies. Maybe because I had a solid partner? Or it was because I always wanted to be a mom? Part of me wonders if it is a choice to lose yourself, or maybe I'm unaware of privilege that allowed me not to? I don't know. I've also never felt like we had to sacrifice the things we wanted--like travel, etc. We just always incorporated the kids into whatever it was we were doing. For example, we're avid hikers, and we never had to give up hiking because we had kids. We just took them with us. I don't feel like our lifestyle changed at all with kids. We just folded them into our existing lifestyle.
Cloudy 2 years ago (edited)
I know I'm still young, but so don't want kids. I enjoy hanging out with them, but I don't think I would be a good parent. I have too many problems and I wouldn't want to subject them to have to suffer because of my issues.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
Honestly, get counselling or treatment. My life is transformed after getting help for PTSD. Never thought I could ever be truly happy, but now I really can. I hope you can find a better place .
Load More Replies... You May Like Parents Share The Moments They Realized Their Kids Might Be Horrible People (35 Posts) Woman Mad Friend Returned 4-Month-Old She Asked Her To Babysit, Fails To See She’s The Reason Why Mom Worried That Her Kids Are Very Unpleasant, Says They're Embarrassing
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