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42 Parents Reveal Weird Life Hacks They Rely On To Keep Their Kids Happy And Behaving
Children see the world in their own unique way. As adults, we often admire that freedom and creativity, but it can also be frustrating when it clashes with logic or everyday rules. For example, convincing a child to put on a coat in the middle of winter can suddenly feel like the most unreasonable request in the world—cue the tantrum.
Sometimes, the only way to get kids to cooperate is by trying something a little unconventional. That’s why one Redditor asked parents to share the parenting hacks they rely on—tips that may sound absurd at first but end up saving everyone’s sanity. Scroll down to see them all, and who knows, you might find your next go-to trick!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Distraction works. I was at an aquarium and a little kid runs up to a shark display and nails her head on the display plaque thing. She’s about to cry and he mom says “whoopsy! Oh look at that shark! Oh my gosh it’s so close!” The girl goes from almost crying to “huh, where?” Mom is like “right there! Isn’t that amazing that’s a real shark” the kid is mesmerized. I just looked at the lady and said “That was amazing”.
I tried it at home with my own kids later but my wife wouldn’t let me buy a shark.
Claire Holman 3 months ago
The shark is an important part of the teaching tool; I think you should get one.
RELATED:
#2
Give them false choices, where you are happy with either choice and they both meet your actual goal. It gives them a sense of agency.
"Would you rather brush your teeth first, or change into your jammies first?"
"We have to head home in a few minutes, would you rather start getting your shoes on, or do you want to find them now, and you can carry them while I carry you to the car?"
Etc.
Thought it was ridiculous when I first heard this in a parenting class. With my two kiddos, it worked exceptionally well.
#3
When my kid was little and we were trying to expand their palate I bought a fun looking notebook, numbered the pages and every 10th one had a star. Then I bought star stickers and this became my kid's "culinary critic" notebook. Everytime they tried a new food they would either write the name or draw the food and give it between one and four stars. When they filled out a page with a star symbol they got to choose from a menu of special treats (a trip to the bowling alley, baking cookies with Mom and Dad, etc). They almost never refused to try anything once we started the book.
It worked because 1) if they rated something low they knew we wouldn't ask them to try something too similar 2) it gave them a semblance of control, after all they never had to try anything it just meant they didn't get to fill out a page in the book 3)I had read a study that kids like fast, tangible rewards shortterm + working towards bigger rewards long term. Getting stickers and to draw/write at that age was a big, fun thing AND being able to physically see how far away from the big reward they were was a huge motivator. .
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Honestly this sounds like it mostly worked because it created an enthusiastic and close discussion between parents and children about the food. ‘Punished by Rewards’ by Alfie Kohn pulls all the research together that shows that rewards, like punishments, achieve nothing apart from short term compliance (‘if you get your shoes on by the time I’ve counted to ten you can have this bar of chocolate’ will certainly achieve your ends in the short term, but as a long term you don’t want a child that will only put their shoes on if there’s a chocolate bar afterwards). However this technique to me is more about closeness and bonding and fun.
Peter Bear 3 months ago
And yet even as adults we're still motivated entirely by rewards and punishments. So... it does work. It's hardwired into human nature. The carrot and the stick is one of the oldest lessons humankind knows.
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
Effort/reward, and learning their likes and dislikes and having them recorded FTW
#4
For babies and toddlers, double-wrap their beds.
Mattress protector -> Sheet -> Mattress protector -> Sheet
So, when they have a Diaper Blowout or Potty Accident or Crummy Tummy Vomit overnight? Instead of having to spend a bunch of time dealing with stripping and remaking the bed at 2am, you just yank off the top layers and… **presto**! It’s all ready for them again.
Means that they’re kept awake for a couple minutes to get their diaper changed (or whatnot) and then back in bed before their brains even register they were awake.
Plus you aren’t trying to get the stupid sheets on while **you** are still half asleep. Just yoink the soaked ones off, toss them in the bathtub or washing machine or wherever, and you and your kid are back to sleep in no time.
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
That is genius! Mine are well past this but I'll certainly keep it in my hip pocket for the future. Could come in handy for somebody.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
If they’ve wet the bed just put a towel under them and all go back to sleep. They’ll be fine. I’ve never understood all this stripping and remaking of beds in the middle of the night for a bit of urine. They’re not going to catch anything from it before morning.
nicholas nolan 3 months ago
Depends how soaked they are, or if there's poop involved, but I agree with the sentiment.
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#5
Read to your child every day at a minimum, preferably multiple times a day until they’re old enough to read and then read to each other out loud. Amazing stuff, highly recommended.
Ghostchaplain16 3 months ago (edited)
Reading is a gift we give our children that lifts their eyes to the far horizons, where life's present limits hold no sway and they're left with dreams of worlds they can spend their whole life finding. To hear the magic of a story read by someone else, filled with effort and drama and humor breathes life into pages and turns the words into a panorama of possibility that offers limitless impact. Reading gives joy.
Ghostchaplain16 3 months ago
Okay, I apologize for sounding so melodramatic. I just re-read my comment above and it felt like I had background music rising to a crescendo as the words poured out. I'm 70 now and my kids are 36 and 32, so I got caught up in remembering when I could hold them and read or just hold them and rock in the rocking chair. To be honest, those moments had as much impact on me as they did my kids, and all these years later those hours still come back in their sweetness. But if you're a new parent, I promise the joy of that time together will touch both of you even if it feels awkward and stilted. Those moments are special for both of you.
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T.M.P Janssen 3 months ago
My mother read to me while she was pregnant with me, read to me throughout all of my childhood until I could properly read on my own. She is the reason I like to read and write stories myself now. Honestly? One of my most prefered gifts from her - a healthy hobby for life (hopefully).
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
My m other sucked but my dad gave me books really early to distract from the s******w and I have been an avid reader since. I even went through most of my grandparents' vast collection of books - he collected Asterix and Obelix, plus British Encyclopaedia. She collected fluff and smut novels. She gave me Mills and Boon until I was 18 and then introduced me to Jackie Collins and Jilly Cooper which was a slight pearl clutch from me before I rinsed those collections too 😆
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Robert Trebor 3 months ago
Lady who ran a bookstore in Montana told me she had a 6 year old who didn't want to learn how to read because he was afraid she would stop reading to him. I whispered to him "Hey, she won't stop, but you could read to her, too."
Anonymouse 3 months ago
And when it is time for bed, give them the option of quietly reading for a time, 15-30 minutes. They think they are getting "special extra time" before bed, and they are learning to read for themselves.
Scott Rackley 3 months ago
Mom and grandmother would read to me all the time. Probably the reason I could read the newspaper in kindergarten.
Lene 3 months ago
My 8yo thinks my bf and I are the worst parents in the world because we are very reluctant about video games, smartphones and pokemon cards. We try to keep it at a minimum because we don't think those things are good in large amounts. Instead we have about 1000 children's books and we read to the kids every evening as a minimum. Everything from old fairy tales to Paw Patrol and song books with lots of pictures in. I think this is making the kids enjoy their time playing video games and when they have a new pokemon card a lot more than if it was a common thing for them AND they also get to learn a lot of tradition and "Danish-ness" from a young age without them realising it. Already in pre-school I could see how this makes my 8yo stand out because they had a Hans Christian Andersen fairytale read out loud in class and my kid was the only one who ever heard it before. And when she's allowed to play minecraft for a few hours on a weekday she's so extremely happy. 🥰
Janissary35680 3 months ago
My mom regularly read to me and let me follow the words in the book as she read with the result that I could read quite handily on my own when I started kindergarten. I distinctly remember that when the teacher realized I this, I was taken by the hand and put in first grade within the first week of school. I was big for my age and my birthday is in October so the school must have decided this was the best course of action.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 months ago
This is one of the best things my mother did for me and my brother. (And she did a lot of good things for us.)
#6
When your toddler falls down (and they aren’t truly hurt) they will often look at you to determine how to feel. If you look concerned and rush to them they will cry. If you smile they will 90% of the time smile, giggle, and start to play again.
Only try this if they look to you to see what to do. If they are bleeding, crying, or for sure injured rush over and take care of them right away. This is only for small falls.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
And call out “yeah!!!” - as long as they’re doing the double check. Rather mean if they’re sobbing and bleeding.
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Maxwell Church 3 months ago
My wife worked in early child care for almost 30 years and she often said the same thing, if mom and/or dad got upset they would cry, if not they went back to playtime.
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
Scold the wall, chair etc in a silly voice and let the kid join in.
Bewitched One 3 months ago
I do this with my 1 year old. Can confirm. It works best when I make funny cartoony sounds (mainly if he falls on his butt trying to walk too fast) like “BONK”’ lol he finds it funny
Nicole Weymann 3 months ago
Yupp, goes hand in hand with the distraction post from above. As long as one of the two works kiddo is likely okay. I've been mock angry at furniture ("Bad table!") or concerned for the "poor chair" that my charges may have hurt by stumbling over them, too. They laugh, are distracted, or have even cry-laughingly slapped the couch in "revenge" - win.
KatSaidWhat 3 months ago
As a non-parent I learnt this instead of gasping. And have also done a nelson a few times.
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 3 months ago
I always say "Nice save!" even if they didn't even come close to saving it. Works pretty good.
#7
If they’re being obstinate, lean into it and make it silly so their mood shifts.
Example: “I don’t want to brush my hair!”
“What do you think would happen if you never brushed your hair? It would get soooo tangled, and then a bird would move in! How many eggs would it lay in your hair?”
“Five million!” And then hopefully giggles.
“Five million eggs?! That’s too many! We’d better brush away that birds nest before you end up covered in bird poop!”
There’s a book, “How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen” that’s full of these little hacks.
alchemilla vulgaris 3 months ago
the possibility of getting real birds to make a nest in my hair would have meant (who am I kidding? Would still mean NOW at 58!) a guarantee that I'm never, EVER brushing my hair again!
#8
If they start to get emotional because I’m saying no to something, I remind them I’m their mom.
I say: if I’m the mom, is it my job to… give you all the candy you want?! They laugh because they know where this is going. No, it’s not my job.
Is it my job to…. Let you get cavities and tummy aches?! No!
Is it my job to… help you grow up big and strong? YES.
They might still be disappointed but they are SO much more reasonable if I just… remind them I’m a mom and it’s my job to tell them no a lot. Sounds ridiculous but it works.
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
I think this is more about communication than anything else. You SEE them, you interact with them, and you make them realize that candy is not just about immediate gratification - there is a link between candy and cavities.
#9
I pretend my 8 year old is a dog doing tricks and give him treats. I sort of trick him into cleaning up. I’ll say, “sit… stay… paw… good boy!” Then give him a Cheez-it or something then I’ll say, “roll over… go clean your toys!” Then he acts like a dog while he cleans up and I give him another treat after. This sounds insane while I’m typing it but it works really well with him.
Anonymouse 3 months ago
"for every job that must be done, there is an element of fun! Find the fun, and the job is a game" Best advice ever, thanks Mary Poppins! Still do this at work!
ChickyChicky 3 months ago
My daughter had a week where she played Cinderella and kept asking me for menial, soul-sucking tasks like scrubbing the bathroom floor. I was very sad when she moved on from that game...
alchemilla vulgaris 3 months ago
My mum would give me a small basket, and I would be Little Riding Hood picking flowers for Granny (picking toys from the floor). It worked until I was 6 or 7 I think.
Laura Gillette 3 months ago
I did this for a while with my kid. He was obsessed with pretending to be a puppy for a while. He didn't even ask for real treats, he wanted pretend ones! Now he's done pretending to be a puppy, but it was nice while it lasted.
Ravenkbh 3 months ago
I tell my son "Do what I say or you're sleeping in the doghouse tonight!" no wait that's what my wife says to me
#10
When my kids were little little and wouldn't eat the food me and my wife cooked, my wife and I would act like we were going to eat it and then ask them to hold it while we did something.
9/10 they'd eat it. They'd love it more if we were like, "hey you ate my food!" and they'd laugh and run away.
Jokes on you. You fell into my trap.
#11
I've noticed that most of the answers seem to be for *small* children, so I'll add one that's more valuable for older kids and teens:
*Explain* your rules, and allow them to be challenged.
A *lot* of kids and teens are better at following rules if they understand why they exist, and that goes double for neurodivergent kids. Allowing them to be challenged means opening a conversation; if they disagree with the rule, give them the chance to change your mind or find a fairer compromise.
That approach doesn't work for every kid, and not for every rule, but there's a good number of kids that rebel mainly against rules that feel unfair or arbitrary to them. The fairer and more thought-out they see your rules as being, the more likely they are to accept rules they *don't* understand as well, because if you're generally fair and reasonable there's probably a good reason even if they don't get it.
Lukas (he/him, it/its) 3 months ago
As an autistic and ADHD young adult- Yes, I do think this would have worked wonders for me growing up.
Nicole Weymann 3 months ago
Worked for me, too. NEVER worked with my brother. Any "don't do XYZ" would only serve to give him ideas. I have to this day never found out how his mind operates, because "don't touch that, it's hot" made me keep my fingers AWAY, while his first impulse was stretching his arm out and burn himself. 40+ years later even thinking about it I hear his wailing from situations like this, my mother's attempts at soothing, and my exasperation.
Load More Replies... Never Snarky 3 months ago
When I drove a school bus I explained the “why” of the rules. Kidd don’t understand why pushing to get off the bus isn’t faster. I had the best behaved bus in the district and the kids loved me.
arthbach 3 months ago
Yes, yes, YES! Understanding the 'why' is so important. - - - In addition to this, my child, a teenager at the time said to a teacher, "I can do anything I want." This concerned the teacher until the teenager said, "All I have to do is present a reasoned argument, say where I am going, who else is will be there, and what time I'll be back." :o)
Peter Bear 3 months ago
This is another one that works surprisingly well for adults too. I'm a D&D player, usually in the role of Game Master, so it's usually my job to advocate and enforce the rules of the game. Best piece of advice I ever learned? "When a player or GM does something you don't like... talk to them about it like an adult". Open, honest communication works wonders.
Jan Feline 3 months ago
My parents did this. It was in the 1980's, and revolutionary back then. Not only that, but my mom is an independent thinker, more concerned with what is reasonable than what society wants. Which is why I was the only 16 year old in the mid 80's who would leave the house saying, "Bye, Mom, I'm going to Tom's, we're gonna get high."
Jennilynn Kmiotek 3 months ago
By the time they're 15 or so rules that feel unfair or arbitrary... usually ARE unfair and arbitrary. If you've ever raised teens and you didn't have arbitrary rules that existed only to make your life easier, you're a liar. Yes you did.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 months ago
If only the adults in my life had understood this when I was young.
#12
Ease transitions with a five minute “wrap up” AND frame the transition as a new beginning instead of an end.
“Hey kids, in five minutes we are leaving the playground so that we can have pizza for lunch,” is way more appealing than “We have to go now! Blah!” because you’re easing into something new and exciting.
Nicole Weymann 3 months ago
Never switch off fun without a warning. Always give a countdown or timeline they can work with. "Each of you can go on the slide three more times now, then we go home".
PunnyPanda 3 months ago
And transition times are still super important, even as they become teens. Double for neurodivergent.
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Simon Eppstein 3 months ago
For our son "Logan" this generated a new phrase we still use to this day (he is close to turning 30) "OK, we gotta go in 5 minutes" NO!, Two 5 minutes!" "OK, two 5 minutes"
#13
When my daughter started getting more picky about food, I'd change how I served meals. For an entire month she ate lunch from a floating plastic tray in the bathtub. A little while later, it was cut up cheese and fruit mixed in a bowl full of ice cubes that she had to pick through to get the food. Another time she ate all her meals out of a muffin pan. I bought a giant one at a thrift store with like 24 muffin holes and I'd put one or two bites of food in each. It was like it poked at her primal brain to get a snack out of each muffin hole, even if it was something she would have refused off a plate. .
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
Parents now are so much more accepting and creative then when I was doing it!
Smeghead Tribble Down Under 3 months ago
That is one of the most fkn ridiculous things I have EVER heard >.<
#14
Instead of saying "inside voice", "you're too loud", or "be quiet", use numeric levels.
"You're currently at a level 6, but you really need to be at a 3 or 4 here".
Then practice asking them what level they are on and what the different levels sound like, where 1 is a whisper, 5 is normal conversation, and 10 is full on yelling.
A child psychologist taught us this and it was a game-changer.
Puck 3 months ago
You can also use a scale (pe a thermometer) with colours: green, yellow, orange, red. Green is okay, Red is explosionlevel. It's also used a lot to help children recognize and manage emotions.
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
I wish I had known this when my kids were little!
Load More Replies... Roxy222uk 3 months ago
If a lot of children (e.g. a party) are being too loud try first encouraging them to shout louder while lifting your hands, palms up, up in the air. Then lower them, raise them, etc making a game of them following your hands and getting quieter and louder. End by lowering your hands all the way down and congratulating them on how good they were. They always end up quieter. Essential that you start by getting them to go as loud as possible though.
Jan Feline 3 months ago
I'm autistic and ADHD, and this numbering system works great for me. I use it a lot in my personal like to clarify things in my mind, and I use it to describe feelings and levels, esp when I journal. Also helps explain things to others You'd be surprised how much can be described with numbers. I use 1-10, but go to one decimal place (4.7) so it can be refined.
#15
Here's a couple that worked for us when our now-11 year old was 18mos-3 years or so, toddler to preschool aged.
The toys live at the store. We go visit them. We can hold them/hug them and wave and say hi and blow kisses.... But they live at the store. When our kiddo got toys, they were gifts she got at home, and that meant the toy chose to come live with us. If we went to the THRIFT store, we could adopt a toy. We have never, in 11 years, had a tantrum about toys at the store.
Pick a letter and a color every week. For that week point out that letter and that color when you see it out in the wild. Your preschool kid will pick it up after a day if not sooner. Bonus points if the letter is also in the color of the week.
At the grocery store, out for a walk, wherever you are, point out words. Signposts, brand names, car makes, the garage sale signs. Even if they're long words ("poultry, bakery, garden) show them the first letter, or ask them to identify any letter they recognize in a word. Sound the whole word out and make sure you emphasize the letters they recognized.
Let them experience textures. If their hands aren't filthy haha, let them hold the football at Walmart. Let them hold the lettuce you're buying. Let them hug poles and grab bushes and put their faces in coats and grass and the dog's neck when they hug it.
Keep healthy choices for food easily reachable. We bought a 3-tier cart and put fruit and age-appropriate healthy snacks and drinks on it. There were toddler plates, spoons, forks, knives and cups on it. Kiddo never had to ask to have a healthy snack when she wanted to. The pantry with the closed door was for "sometimes" snacks. Cookies, tortilla chips, red vines, etc. Those she had to ask for, and we didn't restrict them too much so we could reward her asking first. To this day she'll still ask first if she can have treats.
To clarify so no one thinks I'm bragging, she still has preteen meltdowns. But not over snacks, and she's a good reader, so the above advice did work 😂.
#16
I bought my daughter Strawberry Shortcake underwear before she was completely potty trained and told her it was too bad she couldn’t wear them but they were only for big kids who used the potty. Within a few days she was wearing them with no accidents.
FluffButt Central 3 months ago
As a toddler, I was told I couldn't swim in the big pool with diapers. Pool rules, not mom rules. It took 2 days for me to be potty trained ed my mom said. I wanted in that big kid pool. My brother had to be bribed with pennies and nickles.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Ha ha. TBF they didn’t put in the commas that would have this work properly
Load More Replies... #17
Let kids struggle with puzzles or tasks, productive struggle can build resilience.
Becky Samuel 3 months ago
The opposite really. If a kid always gets problems solved for them and never learns to follow something through if it's a bit difficult, they don't learn how to stick to a task without folding, fussing, or expecting someone else to 'fix' it for them.
Load More Replies... #18
Crime makes food taste better. I sure hope no one is going to STEAL MY VEGETABLES AND EAT THEM ALL!!!! Ten seconds later my kids have "stolen" all my vegetables and gleefully eaten their ill gotten gains. They think they're being so sneaky eating tomatoes and carrots lol.
#19
Respecting them, trying to understand them and listening to them with full attention when they talk about something with passion. It means so much to them. Whenever I am at family/friends gatherings, their kids will always end up flocking around me and will share things and I genuinely give them my attention and just quietly listen. Many times I learn a lot. Their parents are often shocked that their child never shares anything with them but sat and spoke to me for an hour.
My child often shares everything that happened at school, albeit at random times with either me or his dad. Sometimes he will ask me to turn my “friend mode” on where I don’t get to judge or have a mom reaction. Other parents have told me that they have no clue because their child never shares. Parents sitting down at a child’s level and playing or just listening to them is all that a child wants. It is also a lot of fun.
Bewitched One 3 months ago
My kids are exactly the same. My oldest loves football and I don’t know much about it, but I listen and ask questions and he loves that he gets to teach me more about his favorite thing. My youngest loves science and learning and video games. He usually can sit and talk to me about video games for hours. Again, I don’t know much about the ones he plays, so I’ll ask questions, and he enjoys showing me or explaining things about his games with me. It was always just us three for a very long time so they were all I had to talk to, so they always got my full attention. I figured it’d be cruel to stop giving it even if they weren’t the only ones I had to talk to anymore. I love how happy it makes them to teach mom something, especially because grownups are SUPPOSED to know everything right?
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
I never even attempted to explain complex variables to my mom. In return, she never tried to teach me Proto-Indo-European.
Load More Replies... ChickyChicky 3 months ago
Also tell your kids you enjoy spending time with them. "I like hanging out with you, you're fun! We have such great conversations!"
Anonymouse 3 months ago
My wife trained all our kids, when they get home from school, to "tell her a story" - no more how was your day? fine or terrible...
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 months ago
Have an upvote. I don’t know why this was downvoted.
Load More Replies... #20
When they make a good grade, don't tell them they're smart.
Instead say "You're such a hard worker, you studied well for this test".
Nicole Weymann 3 months ago (edited)
The "hard worker" ideology is overrated. And especially in this context, as it would apply just as much if the child had had a bad grade. "Working hard" in general doesn't necessarily mean you actually achieve anything. My grandfather liked to say he'd rather work with a lazy person than a stupid one (because lazy and smart would get the job done, while "eager and stupid will make things dangerous")
#21
Her: I don't like broccoli
Me: it was grown in Arendelle
Her: this is actually good.
Kristiina Männiste 3 months ago
My poor parents must have missed out on a whole big part of the parenting experience simply because we did not have broccoli in soviet union😂 Well we did not have much in the way of food anyways (shops in late 1980-ies soviet union where a funny sight - if the shop front would not have the name of the produce they were supposed to sell you would never know what kind shop you were in - because they all invariably mostly stocked on - good ole nothing😂). When I finally met broccoli for the first time I was like - OOHH!!! Cool capitalist west food!! Gimme!
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
One time I was having lunch with some friends, one of whom had her 4-year-old granddaughter in tow. We were talking about food and cooking, and somebody mentioned frozen vegetables. Immediately the kid perked up and said "Frozen?!"
Corvus 3 months ago
Yes, Arendelle is the location where Frozen takes place. It's popular with kids, so I guess it makes stuff more desirable ;)
Load More Replies... #22
Whenever mine bumps his elbow, stubs a toe, etc. I’ll ask if he wants me to put a spare one on. When he says yes, I tell him to close his eyes, I gently squeeze his arm, leg, or whatever part I’m “replacing”, make a click noise, and gently squeeze and make another click noise when I put the “new one” on. 9/10 times, it immediately feels better. .
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
This is a great idea. Also keep cheap bandages handy, there's no harm letting them wear a bandage even if it's not necessary.
#23
This is for newborns but using the 5 S’s (Swaying, swaddling, Shushing, sucking and side) help calm a fussy baby. Even to this day, if my youngest (now 6) starts to lose control, I rock her in my lap and say “shush shush shush”. I’m sure now it’s a conditioned response but who cares??
Also deep breathing in moments of big feelings. 1) it actually does help the kid. 2) it helps you as the parent. when you demonstrate you are also focus your energy and slowing your reaction to their big feelings.
DO NOT MATCH THEIR ENERGY!!! This one took me a long long time figure out. I mean I knew it but to actually go to a 0 when your kid is at 100 is hard!!
When you do match your kid’s energy - own it, after everyone has cooled off. “That was really hard huh? I had some big feelings too. How did you feel when mom was mad? Oh I’m so sorry I got mad. You know what - that’s kinda how I feel when you are yelling at me too”.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
I’ve always presumed ‘shush’ is similar to the sound of being in the womb.
CPooh 3 months ago
I always thought is was being told “hush, don’t cry, repress your pain, pretend it’s all good, get anxiety and ulcers as long as you look normal” and it f’ed me up big time as an adult.
Load More Replies... #24
Remember they are small humans and have the same rights as any other Human. This should feed into every way you treat them.
From an early age always knock on their door before you enter their bedroom. Their bedroom is the one place in the world which is theirs. Never send them to their bedroom as punishment. Give them as much privacy as you can.
If you threaten a consequence then you MUST follow through so they know you mean what you say. Make sure you and your partner are consistant and back each other up - if you disagree then argue in private.
As they grow up treat them like a small adult.
Becky Samuel 3 months ago
I mostly agree with this apart from the "small adult" part. I would rephrase that as "small person". A lot of people seem to forget that even small children are individuals and cannot be lumped into a single category.
Peter Bear 3 months ago
So are adults though. So why does the term used seem to upset you? Small person, small adult, small human being, small entity deserving of basic respect... they all mean the same thing in this context.
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Geoffrey Scott 3 months ago
My wife: "You're never going outside again!".."yes dear that's very realistic"
#25
Kid: "I don't want a ponytail!"
Me: "But it's picture day. And your hair gets in your face"
Kid: "No!"
Me: "OK...how about a 'kittycat'?" (knowing she doesn't know what that means)
Kid: "Yeah, I want what that is."
Proceeds to do a ponytail. Both happy.
#26
Kids not eating well? Feed them the healthy snacks when you go places. I swear they are always hungry when they leave the house! If you have a cooler with only fruits and veggies, that’s what they’ll eat!
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Another trick is when they’re actually hungry and asking ‘when will tea be ready’ to hand them (without even speaking) a little pot of carrot sticks etc etc ‘to keep them going’. Because they’re hungry they’ll often snaffle them when normally they’d leave them at the side of the plate.
#27
Not a parent, but I've heard that putting generic Disney/Spiderman/etc stickers on food containers is pretty effective at tricking young kids into thinking it's "branded" by that franchise. So you don't have to pay a mark up on Frozen brand yogurt or whatever.
Corvus 3 months ago (edited)
My Frozen yogurt is frozen. But my friend's frozen yogurt isn't Frozen!
Val 3 months ago
The Bluey baked beans are SO much tastier than these other baked beans!
Load More Replies... #28
OK, this is f****d up, but funny, and it worked.
When they were little, I told my kids that if they lied, a dot showed up on their forehead that only grown-ups could see.
To be fair, when kids were tiny, it was pretty easy to tell when they aren't telling the truth, so we got credibility early on.
As they got older, when my kids started spewing BS, they'd hold their hand over their forehead.
It worked WAY longer than I thought. Mostly because the older kids would use it against the younger ones.
Yes, when they got older, they figured it out.
I am paying for therapy.
Francesca Annoni 3 months ago
I told my kids that their ears get red when they lie. It's easy to tell when they're lying if they have their hands over their ears...
#29
Give your kids a safe outlet. Kids are a lot less likely to do bad. like for example draw on all the walls if they have a wall space to draw on (either chalkboard paint or even a large newprint sized paper pad on the wall) kid keeps getting into junk food? Fruit salad made with yogurt with a small dash of sprinkles on top. You gotta be two steps ahead and realize they're not doing these things to be naughty, just lesrning how to navigate the world.
Also I can't stress enough, time out means NOTHING if all you do is sit them there. My rule was a few minutes, and they had to spend time *thinking about why they were there and what they could have done differently.* then we'd talk about it. .
Anonymouse 3 months ago
LOL, and ask them, "why are you getting this time out?" 9/10 they have no idea! Also, explain what they could have done differently to avoid it. They are playing a life game with no rule book, and early development means they often cannot understand.
Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 3 months ago
And if you live with a bunch of artists and don't know what wallpaper to use, plain white is a great drawing surface! We have an art wall now, and it's so fun. It's also very us.
murmelinpaiva 3 months ago
When my kids needed a time out, they were sent to their rooms until they could behave. There was no actual time limit. It worked really well, like a magic changing room.
Becky Samuel 3 months ago
I drove my mum insane because she could never figure out that sending me to my room was the opposite of a punishment. For her it would be t*****e to sit alone quietly and read, for me it's heavenly.
Load More Replies... #30
Water is the great reset.
Kids being insane? Water. Plastic bowls and cups in the bath. Set up a monster truck car wash in the sink. Have them "water" the plants which ends up with them playing with the hose. Add a popsicle and its like they just zen out.
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
Use a water blaster toy to wash away chalk "bad guys" you've drawn in the yard. Or knock over dollar store action figures. Give them a mission.
#31
Don’t go back on your word as a parent. That includes things like time out and the word “no”. Don’t teach your kid that whining and moaning will let them out a minute early. Don’t teach them that crying will get them the toy they want at the store. Don’t let “sorry” replace a two minute break from playtime if they’ve already been warned that their behavior is unsafe/unacceptable. 95% of those “what is wrong with gen alpha” videos are a mixture of that and iPads. It’s not the kids fault that they act this way (assuming they are still very young) but the kids are the ones to suffer emotionally and (later) socially because they have no emotional regulation or impulse control and no other kids or adults want to be around them.
Anonymouse 3 months ago
Funny - my wife threatened NO TV to the kids once and taped a brown paper bag over it when it came to pass. I had to complain to my kids that now I couldn't play my video games or watch TV since it was forbidden. Longest week of my life, but - last time that happened. For some reason, the fact that Dad lost TV was a greater issue for them...
dayngerkat 3 months ago
To add to this, I would make them do chores since we can't watch TV. "Oh no dad can't watch his shows! Now we'll ALL need to go wash the car, rake the leaves, clean the windows, etc!"
Load More Replies... #32
If the store is out of dinosaur nuggets, just tell your kids that you bought dinosaur egg nuggets.
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
My mother told me and my sister that all the orange stuff in the stew was carrots. Then I found out she told my father that all the orange stuff was turnip. She actually used whatever she had.
Sam Trudeau 3 months ago
Or you can handmake them. Just make chicken finger recipes and shape them a certain way.
#33
To actually like your kids, not just love them. Take a real interest in their lives. Sound appreciative when they talk to you or approach you early on. It can get extremely hard early on in their lives because in their formative years they can talk a lot and sound incoherent at times, and as a parent, you can become impatient or lose interest, especially after a long day of work. In general, more listening and less constant advice and judgment. It can become counterintuitive at times because you feel like most of their early life problems have simple solutions. When they want your actual opinion, always state that it might be something you'd do in that situation versus this is what you 'should do'.
Peter Bear 3 months ago
If you don't like your husband, you have bigger problems.
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#34
When i used to be scared of monsters and didnt want to sleep growing up my mom once told me that if monsters came they would have my parents as diner, then my brother as dessert and when they would come to my room they wouldnt be hungry anymore. Surprisingly it worked. Slept like a baby knowing that my whole family would be eaten alive but at least i was safe.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Ha. My friend’s little one got really scared a monster from Doctor Who would come into the house at night. My friend told her “if that monster dared to come in our house I would be *very*, VERY angry”. Her little one was quite satisfied that Mummy being very angry would deal with any monster at all.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 3 months ago
I heard of a mom who filled a plastic spray bottle with water and labeled it “Monster Spray;” then she would spray some around the room before leaving the child to go to sleep.
Hyacinth (Any pronouns) 3 months ago
My parents, who used to be part of a medieval LARPing group, have a collection of weapons in the basement. So when my brother and I were little, they would tell us that if there were ever monsters, they knew how to fight them. My mom also made my brother a monster spray when he was younger.
Kristiina Männiste 3 months ago
I do not have children but I date a guy with a young daughter - when she says that she is afraid of monsters I tell her that the monsters are waay too afraid of her to bother her, because she would eat them like candy. The proof - has she ever seen a monster? No? You see the poor monsters are absolutely terrified! I do not know how well this works but it usually does make her giggle
#35
Transitions to other activities are by far easier by giving them 5 to 10 minute heads up. If you need to go somewhere tell them how much time until that point. Then give 5 to 10 minute warning before the next activity.
Angie May 3 months ago
My sister does that with her kids. She evens sets a timer with their Alexa so they get updates when they have a minute left. Works wonders at bedtime too; you ask the kids "Do you want to go to bed in eight minutes or ten minutes?", and when they inevitably pick ten, you set it for ten minutes. It helps give them a sense of agency.
ChickyChicky 3 months ago
Kids take the authority of Alexa or a beeping timer over their parent's voice all the time, too. Before smart phones I got a little Timex watch that I could set a timer on.
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#36
If they're under 4-5 buy them two of their favourite teddybear and put one away in case they lose one and throw a fit.
Anonymouse 3 months ago
LOL, my wife had a "time out" bag, and toys not put away got a time out and were not available for a few days.
Jennilynn Kmiotek 3 months ago
Steal the bear one night. Make a small slice and stick a GPS luggage tracker in there. Sew it up. It will save you a dozen times before you have to change the battery, and a dozen more afterwards
#37
When a little kid is having a meltdown cos they "Want to do it by themselves" when they're not capable yet...
I'd respond "Sure, you can do it. Here, let me help you do it by yourself"
Worked 99% of the time.
Another one for very wriggly kids when you're trying to get them dressed....
Put their diaper/pullup on first, but leave it around their knees. It hobbles them so they can't escape. Makes it easy to dress the rest of them.
Bewitched One 3 months ago
Yea my very wriggly kid would just fall, get up and fall again over and over till he got away. Plus it’s hard to leave a diaper around the knees? Lol
#38
Karate or some form of martial arts if they have pent up aggression/energy and have hit you or others.
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
Absolutely but make sure you select an academy that is focused on firm but kind discipline, patience, safety, respect for self and others.
Becky Samuel 3 months ago
Before choosing an instructor/sensei, sit through a class and watch the interactions and how the children behave on the mat. There should be strong leadership and discipline but without a sense of bragging, macho posturing, cruelty or bullying. A good sensei will stand out immediately. On the mat, no child should be performing techniques without permission or roughhousing.
#39
Gently but firmly rubbing your thumb between your babies eyebrow soothes them when they are crying.
Bewitched One 3 months ago (edited)
I literally did this to all three of my kids and it instantly (well not instantly but quickly and easily) would get them to sleep at nap or bedtimes. Never knew anyone else actually did it
nottheactualphoto 3 months ago
Animals like that too. Cats, dogs, horses...
Load More Replies... #40
Make screen passwords important phone numbers. Kids will learn them very quickly if it lets them unlock the iPad.
Bewitched One 3 months ago
It’s because of the iPad lol but does make sense. At least kid will know what number to call when they need help because they have no life skills because they spent their entire childhood on the iPad? 🤷🏼♀️
Load More Replies... Sam Trudeau 3 months ago
My family did this too. I didn't know that it was the phone number though...
#41
If you want them to do an activity, start doing it first. Most kids will want to do what you're doing if they simply see you doing it first.
#42
My kids respond very well to a timer, they turn it into a game and race to finish first.
Ok kids, I'm setting a 3 minute timer to get your PJs on and brush your teeth. Ready, set, go!
#43
If they have a favorite tv show and/or characters and are a picky eater print out stickers of their fave characters and put the stickers on alllll pre packaged foods. An oat bar is boring and yucky but a BLUEY oat bar??? And if you keep it consistent and remember which character stickers goes for which snack your kid will be able to tell you what they want for a snack even if they aren’t talking a whole lot yet!
For example, my kiddo loves Sesame Street so he has healthy oat bars that have a purple package so they get count stickers. Now my child knows to ask for a “count bar” and I make sure that every time I buy those bars they get count stickers. Same with all the other characters, each character is assigned their own snack. .
Anonymouse 3 months ago
Did you know that vampires were supposed to have OCD and MUST count things, so you could throw a handful of rice or salt on the ground, and they have to count each grain? I never knew that was the basis for the "Count" AH AH AH!
Sam Trudeau 3 months ago
He used to do things like hypnotize people into counting for him. He stopped though.
Load More Replies... #44
When a child gets emotional/upset, agree with them!
3yo: “I don’t wanna leave the park” Me: “I know, you were having so much fun, it’s the worst to have to leave now” 3yo: “we’ll come back tomorrow?” Me: “yep!”
It works every time and my daughter handles transitions, relinquishing toys, changing behavior so well!!
I stick to my guns of empathy if the whining goes a bit longer. But look them in the eyes and agree it sucks, but it’s gotta be done!
#45
For teenagers, don’t feel like you need to answer every request as a yes or no. It’s ok to say, we will need to talk about that some more, let’s see about tomorrow. It’s remarkable how many issues just take care of themselves if you stall.
#46
Pretending that our streaming services are cable TV. You want to watch Moana? It’s not on until Friday. Elsa isn’t back on our TV until after your nap!
We also will often say that *character in tv show or movie* is sleeping, so we can’t turn the tv on because it will wake them up, and it’s not nice to wake someone up!
We do limited screen time and it’s only on the TV, so it’s a very efficient way to set time limits and get around tantrums!
#47
For my boys when little until about four, I made pink chicken. Well the package said Salmon but whatever.
At about 4 and half I remade it and called it salmon and they thought it was great.
About 10/12 the oldest was off all fish so….we had a good run.
Kristiina Männiste 3 months ago (edited)
My little sister hated cabbage soup so I told her that it was potato soup just like the one in one of her books - there just happened to be some pieces of cabbage in it for decoration. But definitely potato soup. Worked. It helped that neither of us had an idea how a potato soup is supposed to look like anyways😂
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
My nephew wanted cream of mushroom soup for lunch at my mom's, but mom only had cream of celery soup. My sister explained that grandma's mushroom soup had some celery in it.
#48
Give kids a choice where you can.
Your kids don't like veggie medley? Consider an alternative that you can accept. Let them choose. If children feel empowered with a choice they will exercise it.
And you win either way!
#49
Telling the kids that you can tell when they are asleep because they snore. After that sinks in, when they fake sleeping they snore.
#50
Oh you want this toy really bad “ let’s take a photo for Santa” 90% success rate.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
I’ve done similar. Or pull out a notebook and pen and write down “X really would like this dinosaur”. What they need is their feelings acknowledged. Leaping straight into ‘well you can’t have it’ causes tantrums because that wasn’t what they were trying to share with you.
#51
I blamed the clock. I'd say, see? Point at clock. The clock says it's 7:30. The clock says it's time for bed.
I let them pick out their clothes since preschool but I only left seasonably appropriate shoes and clothes in the closet.
#52
Counting....loudly.....1.......2!....I never got to 3 because they'd scramble to their rooms. It was a good thing because I had no idea what happened after 3....yet it worked every time!?
#53
Use scissors to cut their food up into smaller pieces. So much faster. .
#54
When my kids were little and I took them for walks, we would play "red light green light". Red light meant stop, green light was go and yellow light was "come back to mommy". It was a fun and controlled way for them to play with less worry for me.
#55
The thing that worked for me that I passed on to other moms was to separate a kid who is in time out from everyone else. A kid who is pissed and screaming in the same room as you is only going to increase the negative energy. You get mad and the anger eggs them on. Put them in their room. Let them feel their feelings in a safe place and check back in after a suitable amount of time has passed. I always told my kid to come get me when he's ready to talk. He usually took about 10 minutes to himself and came to talk to me about whatever and we went on with our day. Remove the stress and everyone is better for it. No problems can be solved when everyone is mad. I did this at a friend's house with her kid one day and it changed everything about the way she parented. She said it was like heaven opened for her.
Becky Samuel 3 months ago
This is somewhat iffy to me. Kids need help learning to deal with big feelings. If they feel like having emotions is something that they are being excluded and punished for then they are not learning to cope in a healthy way.
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
Maybe this is teaching a way learn to control the big emotions, because we live in a social environment. Yes, we have big feelings, but we have to respect that other people live here, too. Not saying other people's comfort is more important than my big emotions - you know the old saying that your freedom to swing your arms ends where my nose starts?
Load More Replies... #56
Literally repeat back what they say to them.
A lot of people feel like they don’t know how to talk to kids. A lot of people don’t know how to talk to kids.
It feels awkward at first, but ou literally just repeat back what they say.
Example:
Kid - I have a dog!
Me - you have a dog.
Kid - his name is wolf and he licks my sister.
Me - you have a dog named wolf and he licks your sister.
It’s not meant to be annoying or condescending. It literally just lets a kid know you are engaged and listening b.
arthbach 3 months ago (edited)
Please don't do this. It's 'parotting', not 'engaging'. Instead engage in actual conversation. K: I have a dog. A: When I was your age, I had a dog called Spot. What's your dog's name? K: Wolf and and licks my sister. A: When you said the dog was called 'Wolf' I though it was going to be big and scare, but a dog licking your sister doesn't sound scary.
#57
At 8 pm, every single night, drop everything your currently doing, put your baby in the bath and go through the bedtime routine with them.
As they grow they will be accustomed to doing the bedtime routine at 8ish, including when they start taking care of themselves, and you will have 1-2 hours to yourself.
Judy Reynolds 3 months ago
When my kids were older, and could stay up till 9 or 10, I started saying I was going off duty at 8. Unless someone was bleeding, I needed my quiet time, and I worded it like that. If there was an emergency, I was back on duty, but if it was not an emergency, I wanted to read my book.
#58
Put your baby to bed early, then give them a dream feed (feed while they are asleep, works best for bottle feeders) they’ll take the entire bottle without waking. Will give you a longer stretch of sleep.
Ghostchaplain16 3 months ago
One of the best things that ever happened to me was getting to do the night feedings. My wife was very ill when we first brought our daughter home, and she desperately needed rest. I was happy to do the night feedings because I can go back to sleep at the drop of a hat while at the time my wife wrestled with not being able to go back to sleep quickly. What I discovered was the magic of those moments when it was just this helpless little baby and me when the lights are dimmed and the world's asleep and it felt like we were the only two people awake anywhere. To think I might have missed them. (I know not everyone can do night duty and work the next day, so please don't read any judgment here. But if you can...Wow. Just wow!)
#59
When my kids we're growing up and I'd tell them to do something. If they responded with "why!?". I'd stop and say,"hop on one foot.". They would do so and then I'd ask "why are you doing that?"."Because you said to.". "Exactly, now go do what I asked you please.".
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Zig Zag Wanderer 3 months ago
2. If you want a nap, tell your kids that you're lying down for 5 minutes, and when you get up, we're all going to clean the house. You'll have a long nap while they keep as quiet as possible!
RomanceRadish 3 months ago (edited)
Once they are old enough to read and spell somewhat- play the license plate game in the car. Make up silly phrases for license plates you see. RGJ Red Giraffes Jump. DEC Dad Eats Cheetos.
arthbach 3 months ago
Navigating the change from summer time to winter time: instead of skipping or adding an hour, spread the time change over several days. Get up 15 minutes earlier (or later) until you are in synch with the people around you. It's easier for children (and pets) to negotiate a 15 minute change than an hour all in one go.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Right from birth shop from both the ‘boys’ and girls’ aisles for the clothes. It is irrelevant before puberty changes their body shapes. I’ve seriously seen clothes in one aisle one season, then moved across to the other aisle for another season (including different brightly coloured joggers and jeans with stars all over them). If they’re used to it then the time you need to buy a specific item and the only ones available are in the ‘wrong’ aisle it won’t bother them. Anyway, it gives them twice as many tee shirts, trousers, jumpers etc to chose from. I explained to my lot that the differentiation was made for people that were finding it hard to choose. It helped them narrow things down, but was irrelevant to those that knew what they wanted when they saw it.
Vinnie 3 months ago (edited)
No kids, but sometimes I tell whoppers to help out parents. One little girl wanted to bring home a clump of moss, wouldn't listen to her mother. I explained that caring for moss "is a lot of work" and if it stays with the other moss "the moss know what to do and they can help each other". She put the moss back *exactly* where she found it. Hell if I know if moss practice altruistic socialism.
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
Keep subtitles on TV. Supplements reading and comprehension skills.
Zig Zag Wanderer 3 months ago
2. If you want a nap, tell your kids that you're lying down for 5 minutes, and when you get up, we're all going to clean the house. You'll have a long nap while they keep as quiet as possible!
RomanceRadish 3 months ago (edited)
Once they are old enough to read and spell somewhat- play the license plate game in the car. Make up silly phrases for license plates you see. RGJ Red Giraffes Jump. DEC Dad Eats Cheetos.
arthbach 3 months ago
Navigating the change from summer time to winter time: instead of skipping or adding an hour, spread the time change over several days. Get up 15 minutes earlier (or later) until you are in synch with the people around you. It's easier for children (and pets) to negotiate a 15 minute change than an hour all in one go.
Roxy222uk 3 months ago
Right from birth shop from both the ‘boys’ and girls’ aisles for the clothes. It is irrelevant before puberty changes their body shapes. I’ve seriously seen clothes in one aisle one season, then moved across to the other aisle for another season (including different brightly coloured joggers and jeans with stars all over them). If they’re used to it then the time you need to buy a specific item and the only ones available are in the ‘wrong’ aisle it won’t bother them. Anyway, it gives them twice as many tee shirts, trousers, jumpers etc to chose from. I explained to my lot that the differentiation was made for people that were finding it hard to choose. It helped them narrow things down, but was irrelevant to those that knew what they wanted when they saw it.
Vinnie 3 months ago (edited)
No kids, but sometimes I tell whoppers to help out parents. One little girl wanted to bring home a clump of moss, wouldn't listen to her mother. I explained that caring for moss "is a lot of work" and if it stays with the other moss "the moss know what to do and they can help each other". She put the moss back *exactly* where she found it. Hell if I know if moss practice altruistic socialism.
RomanceRadish 3 months ago
Keep subtitles on TV. Supplements reading and comprehension skills.
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