Clueless Bride Shocked To Find Out What People Really Thought Of Her 20k Wedding
Interview With Expert
No matter how long you spend planning your wedding, the day will never be perfect. Something will go wrong, whether it’s the weather deciding not to cooperate, the groom showing up late due to traffic or the cake being dropped on the floor. But that’s okay! As long as you and your new spouse have a lovely time and get to ride off into the sunset together, you can call the day a success.
And if your guests have a terrible time, well, they should probably keep that information to themselves. One woman recently found out that her wedding has been a running joke in her family for a year now, and she did not take the news well. Below, you’ll find the full story that her parent who spilled the beans posted on Reddit, as well as a conversation with Suki Lanh, assistant editor at Offbeat Wed!
The most important aspect of any wedding is the bride and groom’s happiness
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But when this parent revealed to their daughter that guests hated her wedding, she did not take it very well
Image credits: Matheus Bertelli / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Later, the parent clarified a few details about the wedding
Image credits: Historical-Safe-8579
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“If you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to set expectations in your wedding Save the Date or invitations”
A wedding is all about the bride and groom (or brides or grooms). The whole day is centered around celebrating their love, and guests often accommodate all of their needs and desires for the day. If the happy couple is vegan, attendants at the wedding will enjoy a plant-based dinner that day. If the couple tying the knot decides that their wedding will be on the beach, guests will accept the fact that they’ll have sand in their shoes all day. Whatever makes the lovebirds happy! But if a couple decides to throw a wedding where many guests will be in attendance, it’s only polite to consider their happiness as well.
To gain more insight on this topic, we reached out to wedding expert, Suki Lanh. Suki is the assistant editor at Offbeat Wed, and she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda about how brides and grooms can prepare guests for what’s to come at their weddings.
“If you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to set expectations in your wedding Save the Date or invitations,” Suki shared. “For instance, if you are expecting the guests to purchase their own meals, mention in your invite ‘Food and drinks will be available for purchase following the ceremony.’ We offer tons of resources on how to find the right wording for your wedding invitation so that your guests know what they’re walking into.”
And if a whole meal is too expensive, Suki says a cake and punch wedding is a nice, budget-friendly alternative. “This was a popular wedding tradition in the 50’s where you would invite guests to witness the exchanging of vows and rings, then following the wedding everyone mingles over cake and punch (or champagne like at this minimalist wedding),” she explained. “A cake and punch wedding doesn’t last very long, perhaps about 2-3 hours, and works great if you’re considering a morning or brunch wedding ceremony. You’re in, you’re out, you’re married, and everyone can go about their day!”
Image credits: Alexander Mass / Pexels (not the actual photo)
“If the whole idea of having to entertain guests is overwhelming but you still want to celebrate with loved ones, consider having a micro-wedding”
The expert also says that, if you’re planning on inviting guests to your wedding, it’s important to put yourself in their shoes. “For most folks, attending a wedding means making travel plans, booking childcare, or taking time off work,” Suki noted. “Generally, people don’t attend a wedding simply because they’re getting free food and drinks, but because they love and support the people who are getting married. If being surrounded by the people you love is important to you, wouldn’t you want to show your appreciation for them by treating them to a good time on your wedding day?”
“Of course you don’t HAVE to provide free food, drinks, or entertainment, just like you don’t have to have a ton of guests at your wedding!” Suki added. “If the whole idea of having to entertain guests is overwhelming but you still want to celebrate with loved ones, consider having a micro-wedding with just a few people present.”
And while it might be tempting to speak up if you attended a loved one’s wedding and didn’t have the best time, Suki noted that what was a mediocre day for you might have been a wonderful experience for the marriers! “Our advice? Let them have their moment. You wouldn’t want to taint what was otherwise a beautiful memory for them,” she shared. “But if they invite you to another celebration (say their 10 year anniversary), you’ll know you need to set your own expectations ahead of time by asking questions like, ‘Should I eat before the event?'”
Image credits: Taha Samet Arslan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Most couples want their weddings to be remembered fondly by all who attended
While it’s not always possible to prioritize guests while wedding planning, Brides.com notes that there are some considerations that couples can make early on in the planning process to make everyone’s lives easier. First, try to select a convenient day and time for the wedding. Keep in mind holidays and other events that might get in the way. For example, if there’s a huge music festival in your city the same weekend as your wedding, guests might struggle to find affordable accommodation.
As with everything else in life, communication is key. If you won’t be able to accommodate a guest’s allergies or dietary preferences, alert them ahead of time, so they can pack their own food. It’s wise to provide attendees with an itinerary prior to the wedding as well, so they have an idea of what will happen when. And if you have a website for the big day, be clear about transportation, parking, accommodation and more to keep your guests in the loop.
Nobody wants their wedding to be remembered as an unfortunate event or a running joke. But there are steps brides and grooms can take prior to the big day to prevent that. We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Then, if you’re interested in checking out another Bored Panda article discussing wedding fails, look no further than right here!
Many readers assured the parent that they didn’t do anything wrong
However, some thought the parent had been a bit too harsh
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Again, I don't get the YTA's. OP's daughter's wedding wasn't enjoyed by the guests, not even the family and they are not allowed to say that? Do you know how bad a wedding must be before people comment negatively since most people cut a bride some serious slack? Is she to spend her days mistakenly believing that her wedding was enjoyed? Don't you think this would not come up sooner or later while she was present? It's already a running joke, you know. And is she to ruin her sister's wedding by offering the kind of advice that made people dislike her own wedding? It's not that just some people didn't enjoy that wedding, but most people and that's pretty telling. What is wrong with a dose of reality and of preventing a second wedding that's in danger of becoming a second disaster?
People these days often seem to be of the mindset that you can never say anything negative to anyone and that there should never be consequences for any choice or action taken. It's ridiculous and bad. There are times when you just shut up, like you don't have to tell a bride you don't like her dress, but times like these, people need to be told or they will never learn from the experience.
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How do you spend 20,000 and have no food or drinks available? Not even a cake?
Right!? Someone could have easily gone to the grocery store for a couple of deli trays and a sheet cake!
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The unmarried sister should accept the help as advice on what not to do.
Where I live, it would be an embarrassment for generations to celebrate a wedding and having guests pay for food. Absolutely unimaginable.
Oh yes, it would be a shame for the whole family for the next 50 years. Mediterranian people think food is more important than the bride 😄
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20 grand and no food you could do a buffet for very cheap or even order a load of pizzas no food no entertainment no drinks whats the point might as well gone to a registry office
I don't want to get married, but in an alternate reality, food would be my biggest expense because I think that's the best part of the wedding. Personally I'd get married on a beautiful lawn and have a cookout there. Keep it simple but delicious.
The sad thing is, people like you would most likely have a wonderful marriage, because opposite to those people whose marriages fail, you focus on the right things. Nowadays people look at those irrational couples who marry for the wrong reasons and focus on superficial nonsense and think that's proof that the concept of marriage is outdated. But the real concept of marriage is a legal contract between two people who have decided to spend their life together, to ensure legal safety in case one of them has setbacks because of supporting the other. It's also to ensure that the partners have legal leverage FOR each other, for example if one of them gets ill. Marriage is the tool to ensure legal fairness, it's not the tool to create a relationship. It's the logical conclusion if the relationship is stable. So the wedding is the celebration of an already successful partnership. Not the beginning of forging one.
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It sounds to me like she staged a wedding for the cameras, not the guests.
Yup. But if she only wanted high-quality pictures, why was she shocked that the guests were pi$$ed off at her wedding.
Load More Replies... Makes you wonder who was in the bridal party as married daughter clearly has no friends, otherwise someone would have told her. But OP was just telling the truth, and obviously hasn't complained endlessly about it, just shared the info when relevant or planning another wedding.
How is this a discussion? Sister: Your wedding sucked. Bride: (Pikachu). Mom: Yeah, for these reasons. Bride: Nononono. Mom+Sister: Whatever, have it your deluded way. The end.
If you really don't have the money for food, drinks, cake, entertainment, etc for your guests, there's a handy option - elope. Spend that 20k on a honeymoon world cruise. (Or part of a down payment on a house.)
I think it was okay to answer her question with honesty. But should have been done so with more thought. Perhaps; say, she means to serve food and have some entertainment. Done. No need to add in; everyone hated your wedding and they talk negativity about it (possibly you) behind your back. Not kind or helpful. Also the timing. Ouch and awkward.
My husband and I got married at our local Justice of Peace by a judge because of our families religious beliefs (my family is catholic and his is Protestant). We had a huge cookout at my Aunt's house later that summer and it was wonderful :) everyone got along and enjoyed good food prepared by my husband and I (my Aunt also helped me cook) and a cake made by my cousin. We had it BYOB but provided all soft drinks. No one got too wasted because we ate good and played volleyball and badminton. Family still talks about it 24 years later!
potentially eta. if anyone knew her wedding was going to make all the guests pay but didn't say anything until after the fact, yta. the time to let her know was before she put on that show and at least warn her it was going to look selfish at the absolute best. if it was hidden until the sister's wedding plan, nta. could have been said differently, but really, if she believes her wedding was great, explaining why you don't want the same type of wedding is fair. 1st bride was TA regardless, especially if she didn't warn the guests on the invitation. you can totally have the wedding you want, but let people know so they can plan funds or attendance accordingly
He says he wasn't involved in the organisation of the wedding, so he might not have known how the wedding would work out.
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NTA. If you don't want to feed wedding guests, set it up for a time they won't expect food. I've been to one where the reception was a "Champagne and strawberries in the gardens" in the afternoon. It was drinks and strawberries and cream. Then they tossed the bouquet, and left for their honeymoon. A lot of the guests used the rest of the afternoon to catch up with friends and family, some went out to dinner, and everyone thought it was lovely. You don't have to do a meal if it's not in the budget.
That was pretty straightforward and honest. It's also a nice workaround for a smaller budget.
Load More Replies... The YTAs make no sense. The parents literally said nothing for a full year. Only because the younger sister wants to avoid the same result, did they finally voiced the truth. The bride had her head in the sand this whole time if she truly had not heard some rumblings. All her money is spent on vanities and "IG" factors of her wedding. Good luck to her husband and their marriage.
Between no food and no cake, I'm surprised a riot didn't break out. I would have just left for the nearest restaurant and invited everyone nearby, including the bride's family.
My mom once told me about worst wedding she attended. Both bride and groom were cheapskates, but they wanted to show off. They rented very expensive restaurant and even hired some local band they liked. The only problem was that guests had to buy their food and drinks, otherwise they didn't even get a glass of water. And band performed in separate room,so if guests wanted to see them, they had to pay. NTA, no one likes wedding like that.
A wedding that no guess get any food or drink? No thanks.. I will not attend that
Not telling your guests that there will be no food is just RUDE unless it is at a time that one would not expect a meal, say10:00 am or 2:00 pm maybe. But no drinks at all? No water, or coffee, or tea, or anything?! The kicker here for me is the cake was fake, I mean why even have a cake at all?!! We even had small little goody bags for guests at my son's wedding, (nothing pricey, just sweet), and special little gifts for the wedding party waiting in their rooms. We made the effort to include things the bride and groom loved, but also things to make the guests feel like they were wanted and cared for! For clarity - the bride's parents were ... let's be nice and say flaky, so we as the groom's parents together with my son and his beloved paid for almost everything.
Hub and I got married for about $200 in Vegas. Used the money we saved to cover vet bills for our new rescue kitty. I hate big, expensive weddings.
I knew a couple in their 40s who wanted to get married, but didn't want to spend a lot. Several of us drove to Vegas with them, witnessed their wedding at a chapel on the side of the road, ate breakfast, then drove home. They had most of a down payment for a small house.
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To cut costs, a friend of mine had a three tiered "fake" cake (real fondant and deco over a form) - but she had individual muffin-sized round cakes for each guest. She had a small wedding, so spending so much on a huge cake wasn't worth it. But there was still actual cake!
I have this solution to stuff like this I've been using for over 30 years, since I was 18. I don't go to weddings. Period. They are nothing but either a wealth display, a narcissism circle jerk, or (in this case) a disaster.
Best wedding - a couple I worked with went to City Hall, got married, then met everyone (about 20 friends) at a local nice bar/restaurant. We had drinks to toast them, ate some bar food, then left. They're still together.
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Delusional much? Spends 20k on a wedding and the guests get nothing, why invite them?
The bride needed them as props for the photoshoot. "Smile. Stop looking hangry!"
Load More Replies... How could her wedding happen like that though? Was she really young? Was she never at a wedding before? There must be a reason why she forgot food for guests!
Forgot? No there WAS food. They just had to pay for it. Thats a choice.
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You did the right thing telling your daughter. However, this debacle should have been prevented before it happened ! Surely someone who helped with planning should have alerted your daughter with the inappropriateness of the situation.
$20,000 for a wedding? Common sense says save that money for yourselves after you're married, and get married by a Justice of the Peace.
For the last 30 or so years, there has been far too much emphasis on the wedding, and far too little on the marriage. So many women view the wedding as their chance to be Princess for the day, everyone does what I say. The huge, 14 strong wedding party and cost equivalent to a year’s salary—that was for Rich Society People.
Geeze, my wedding cost WAY less than that, my mom made my dress and the bridesmaids dresses, we had it at a local Rec Centre, and it was local ladies from the centre who made and served the food, my parents made their own wine, one bottle of red and white for each table, everyone got fed, and everyone had fun! Oh and we had a great DJ!
I feel bad for their friends and family. I just really don't understand the Bride's thinking/planning. We had our wedding outside at a friend's home. It was pot-luck and there was a great variety of food, including BBQ. I made our tiered wedding cake. We all had a relaxing great day!
Here we go. Both a******s. The bride and groom, because they didn't prepare their guests for the experience. "We're having a wedding on a budget, so you'll have to pay for food and drinks at the reception". The mother because... it's your daughter. If they're paying for everything, it means you're not paying a cent, so you don't get to tell them where they put their money. A beautiful dress, a wedding venue and a good photographer are all 'must haves'. If you don't want to front up the other 20k to have a wedding cake, food for 200 people, a band and all the trimmings, it's on you if you have a bad time because they couldn't afford it or won't. My wedding cost about $4K, but we used a friend's house for both the ceremony and reception, had 20 guests, dinner was a large antipasto platter and we bought drinks and put them in coolers. Our photographer cost about $1600 as the biggest expense, and was worth every penny.
Hubby and I were married in 2000, with everything coming to around $5000. My gown was $300, I made 4 bridesmaids dresses for less than $200, men's suits were hired, ceremony at a park was nice and quick at 17 mins, half an hour for photos taken by guests, walked across the road to a hall, choice of 3 roast meals, wedding cake for dessert, and conversation and antics of children for entertainment! No fussing needed!
Antics of children is not entertainment. No kids needed.
Load More Replies... I simply cannot imagine spending 6K on a dress and not providing food for my guests. I grew up in a family that offered food and drink when you walked in the door regardless of who you were or what time it was. Someone should have said some something to this couple when they were planning this fiasco.
This is almost as bad a a pot-luck wedding I went to and everyone was told what to bring. I was told to bring rolls to feed 50 people...plus to give money as the wedding gift. I could detail more...but then I'll be reminded how bad it was.
OP is absolutely NTA, but I think people missed the part where there was actually food at the daughter's wedding, but the guests had to pay for it.
Anyone who says "The day/event is all about you"... OK, then don't invite anyone. If it's truly just about the couple then no one else needs to be there. The moment you invite other people it's no longer just about you, it's about the whole group.
I'll add one more person asking "how do you spend $20,000 and not have food?" Atren't weddings supposed to be to bring friends and family to celebrate? I guess that for some self-centered narcissists, the wedding is their show and they believe that people should pay to see them.
Who in the world has a fake cake at their wedding- or anytime?!! And, who would think that’s ok!
If she got divorced and was going to have a 2nd wedding then I could understand but at this stage what was the point in telling her? YTA.
If she has a second wedding, some folks will know to pack a lunch. Maybe they can even swap, just like kids in school. "My husband made the sandwich with mayo. I hate mayo." "I have an apple. Want it?"
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Again, I don't get the YTA's. OP's daughter's wedding wasn't enjoyed by the guests, not even the family and they are not allowed to say that? Do you know how bad a wedding must be before people comment negatively since most people cut a bride some serious slack? Is she to spend her days mistakenly believing that her wedding was enjoyed? Don't you think this would not come up sooner or later while she was present? It's already a running joke, you know. And is she to ruin her sister's wedding by offering the kind of advice that made people dislike her own wedding? It's not that just some people didn't enjoy that wedding, but most people and that's pretty telling. What is wrong with a dose of reality and of preventing a second wedding that's in danger of becoming a second disaster?
People these days often seem to be of the mindset that you can never say anything negative to anyone and that there should never be consequences for any choice or action taken. It's ridiculous and bad. There are times when you just shut up, like you don't have to tell a bride you don't like her dress, but times like these, people need to be told or they will never learn from the experience.
Load More Replies... How do you spend 20,000 and have no food or drinks available? Not even a cake?
Right!? Someone could have easily gone to the grocery store for a couple of deli trays and a sheet cake!
Load More Replies... The unmarried sister should accept the help as advice on what not to do.
Where I live, it would be an embarrassment for generations to celebrate a wedding and having guests pay for food. Absolutely unimaginable.
Oh yes, it would be a shame for the whole family for the next 50 years. Mediterranian people think food is more important than the bride 😄
Load More Replies... 20 grand and no food you could do a buffet for very cheap or even order a load of pizzas no food no entertainment no drinks whats the point might as well gone to a registry office
I don't want to get married, but in an alternate reality, food would be my biggest expense because I think that's the best part of the wedding. Personally I'd get married on a beautiful lawn and have a cookout there. Keep it simple but delicious.
The sad thing is, people like you would most likely have a wonderful marriage, because opposite to those people whose marriages fail, you focus on the right things. Nowadays people look at those irrational couples who marry for the wrong reasons and focus on superficial nonsense and think that's proof that the concept of marriage is outdated. But the real concept of marriage is a legal contract between two people who have decided to spend their life together, to ensure legal safety in case one of them has setbacks because of supporting the other. It's also to ensure that the partners have legal leverage FOR each other, for example if one of them gets ill. Marriage is the tool to ensure legal fairness, it's not the tool to create a relationship. It's the logical conclusion if the relationship is stable. So the wedding is the celebration of an already successful partnership. Not the beginning of forging one.
Load More Replies... It sounds to me like she staged a wedding for the cameras, not the guests.
Yup. But if she only wanted high-quality pictures, why was she shocked that the guests were pi$$ed off at her wedding.
Load More Replies... Makes you wonder who was in the bridal party as married daughter clearly has no friends, otherwise someone would have told her. But OP was just telling the truth, and obviously hasn't complained endlessly about it, just shared the info when relevant or planning another wedding.
How is this a discussion? Sister: Your wedding sucked. Bride: (Pikachu). Mom: Yeah, for these reasons. Bride: Nononono. Mom+Sister: Whatever, have it your deluded way. The end.
If you really don't have the money for food, drinks, cake, entertainment, etc for your guests, there's a handy option - elope. Spend that 20k on a honeymoon world cruise. (Or part of a down payment on a house.)
I think it was okay to answer her question with honesty. But should have been done so with more thought. Perhaps; say, she means to serve food and have some entertainment. Done. No need to add in; everyone hated your wedding and they talk negativity about it (possibly you) behind your back. Not kind or helpful. Also the timing. Ouch and awkward.
My husband and I got married at our local Justice of Peace by a judge because of our families religious beliefs (my family is catholic and his is Protestant). We had a huge cookout at my Aunt's house later that summer and it was wonderful :) everyone got along and enjoyed good food prepared by my husband and I (my Aunt also helped me cook) and a cake made by my cousin. We had it BYOB but provided all soft drinks. No one got too wasted because we ate good and played volleyball and badminton. Family still talks about it 24 years later!
potentially eta. if anyone knew her wedding was going to make all the guests pay but didn't say anything until after the fact, yta. the time to let her know was before she put on that show and at least warn her it was going to look selfish at the absolute best. if it was hidden until the sister's wedding plan, nta. could have been said differently, but really, if she believes her wedding was great, explaining why you don't want the same type of wedding is fair. 1st bride was TA regardless, especially if she didn't warn the guests on the invitation. you can totally have the wedding you want, but let people know so they can plan funds or attendance accordingly
He says he wasn't involved in the organisation of the wedding, so he might not have known how the wedding would work out.
Load More Replies... NTA. If you don't want to feed wedding guests, set it up for a time they won't expect food. I've been to one where the reception was a "Champagne and strawberries in the gardens" in the afternoon. It was drinks and strawberries and cream. Then they tossed the bouquet, and left for their honeymoon. A lot of the guests used the rest of the afternoon to catch up with friends and family, some went out to dinner, and everyone thought it was lovely. You don't have to do a meal if it's not in the budget.
That was pretty straightforward and honest. It's also a nice workaround for a smaller budget.
Load More Replies... The YTAs make no sense. The parents literally said nothing for a full year. Only because the younger sister wants to avoid the same result, did they finally voiced the truth. The bride had her head in the sand this whole time if she truly had not heard some rumblings. All her money is spent on vanities and "IG" factors of her wedding. Good luck to her husband and their marriage.
Between no food and no cake, I'm surprised a riot didn't break out. I would have just left for the nearest restaurant and invited everyone nearby, including the bride's family.
My mom once told me about worst wedding she attended. Both bride and groom were cheapskates, but they wanted to show off. They rented very expensive restaurant and even hired some local band they liked. The only problem was that guests had to buy their food and drinks, otherwise they didn't even get a glass of water. And band performed in separate room,so if guests wanted to see them, they had to pay. NTA, no one likes wedding like that.
A wedding that no guess get any food or drink? No thanks.. I will not attend that
Not telling your guests that there will be no food is just RUDE unless it is at a time that one would not expect a meal, say10:00 am or 2:00 pm maybe. But no drinks at all? No water, or coffee, or tea, or anything?! The kicker here for me is the cake was fake, I mean why even have a cake at all?!! We even had small little goody bags for guests at my son's wedding, (nothing pricey, just sweet), and special little gifts for the wedding party waiting in their rooms. We made the effort to include things the bride and groom loved, but also things to make the guests feel like they were wanted and cared for! For clarity - the bride's parents were ... let's be nice and say flaky, so we as the groom's parents together with my son and his beloved paid for almost everything.
Hub and I got married for about $200 in Vegas. Used the money we saved to cover vet bills for our new rescue kitty. I hate big, expensive weddings.
I knew a couple in their 40s who wanted to get married, but didn't want to spend a lot. Several of us drove to Vegas with them, witnessed their wedding at a chapel on the side of the road, ate breakfast, then drove home. They had most of a down payment for a small house.
Load More Replies... To cut costs, a friend of mine had a three tiered "fake" cake (real fondant and deco over a form) - but she had individual muffin-sized round cakes for each guest. She had a small wedding, so spending so much on a huge cake wasn't worth it. But there was still actual cake!
I have this solution to stuff like this I've been using for over 30 years, since I was 18. I don't go to weddings. Period. They are nothing but either a wealth display, a narcissism circle jerk, or (in this case) a disaster.
Best wedding - a couple I worked with went to City Hall, got married, then met everyone (about 20 friends) at a local nice bar/restaurant. We had drinks to toast them, ate some bar food, then left. They're still together.
Load More Replies... Delusional much? Spends 20k on a wedding and the guests get nothing, why invite them?
The bride needed them as props for the photoshoot. "Smile. Stop looking hangry!"
Load More Replies... How could her wedding happen like that though? Was she really young? Was she never at a wedding before? There must be a reason why she forgot food for guests!
Forgot? No there WAS food. They just had to pay for it. Thats a choice.
Load More Replies... You did the right thing telling your daughter. However, this debacle should have been prevented before it happened ! Surely someone who helped with planning should have alerted your daughter with the inappropriateness of the situation.
$20,000 for a wedding? Common sense says save that money for yourselves after you're married, and get married by a Justice of the Peace.
For the last 30 or so years, there has been far too much emphasis on the wedding, and far too little on the marriage. So many women view the wedding as their chance to be Princess for the day, everyone does what I say. The huge, 14 strong wedding party and cost equivalent to a year’s salary—that was for Rich Society People.
Geeze, my wedding cost WAY less than that, my mom made my dress and the bridesmaids dresses, we had it at a local Rec Centre, and it was local ladies from the centre who made and served the food, my parents made their own wine, one bottle of red and white for each table, everyone got fed, and everyone had fun! Oh and we had a great DJ!
I feel bad for their friends and family. I just really don't understand the Bride's thinking/planning. We had our wedding outside at a friend's home. It was pot-luck and there was a great variety of food, including BBQ. I made our tiered wedding cake. We all had a relaxing great day!
Here we go. Both a******s. The bride and groom, because they didn't prepare their guests for the experience. "We're having a wedding on a budget, so you'll have to pay for food and drinks at the reception". The mother because... it's your daughter. If they're paying for everything, it means you're not paying a cent, so you don't get to tell them where they put their money. A beautiful dress, a wedding venue and a good photographer are all 'must haves'. If you don't want to front up the other 20k to have a wedding cake, food for 200 people, a band and all the trimmings, it's on you if you have a bad time because they couldn't afford it or won't. My wedding cost about $4K, but we used a friend's house for both the ceremony and reception, had 20 guests, dinner was a large antipasto platter and we bought drinks and put them in coolers. Our photographer cost about $1600 as the biggest expense, and was worth every penny.
Hubby and I were married in 2000, with everything coming to around $5000. My gown was $300, I made 4 bridesmaids dresses for less than $200, men's suits were hired, ceremony at a park was nice and quick at 17 mins, half an hour for photos taken by guests, walked across the road to a hall, choice of 3 roast meals, wedding cake for dessert, and conversation and antics of children for entertainment! No fussing needed!
Antics of children is not entertainment. No kids needed.
Load More Replies... I simply cannot imagine spending 6K on a dress and not providing food for my guests. I grew up in a family that offered food and drink when you walked in the door regardless of who you were or what time it was. Someone should have said some something to this couple when they were planning this fiasco.
This is almost as bad a a pot-luck wedding I went to and everyone was told what to bring. I was told to bring rolls to feed 50 people...plus to give money as the wedding gift. I could detail more...but then I'll be reminded how bad it was.
OP is absolutely NTA, but I think people missed the part where there was actually food at the daughter's wedding, but the guests had to pay for it.
Anyone who says "The day/event is all about you"... OK, then don't invite anyone. If it's truly just about the couple then no one else needs to be there. The moment you invite other people it's no longer just about you, it's about the whole group.
I'll add one more person asking "how do you spend $20,000 and not have food?" Atren't weddings supposed to be to bring friends and family to celebrate? I guess that for some self-centered narcissists, the wedding is their show and they believe that people should pay to see them.
Who in the world has a fake cake at their wedding- or anytime?!! And, who would think that’s ok!
If she got divorced and was going to have a 2nd wedding then I could understand but at this stage what was the point in telling her? YTA.
If she has a second wedding, some folks will know to pack a lunch. Maybe they can even swap, just like kids in school. "My husband made the sandwich with mayo. I hate mayo." "I have an apple. Want it?"
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