35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community
A long joke can be satisfying as it builds up the story, lets you imagine the situation, and gives you time to think about how you would act in it. However, at the end, you are presented with something completely unexpected, and that is what makes you laugh.
But short jokes like a one-liner can be good because they often rely on the play on words or familiar situations that immediately cause, if not have, a big laugh but at least make you smile. There is actually a whole subreddit dedicated to one-liners, and we collected the ones people found the funniest for you to enjoy.
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“DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things to read in braille.
I'm going to hell for laughing at this. Imagine what can be read on textured toilet paper...
The subreddit has a simple name - Oneliners and it was created quite a while back in 2009. Over the years, it has attracted 150k subscribers and people are still quite actively posting new jokes there.
In the description, the subreddit creator explains what is a one-liner: “A one-liner is a succinct, funny or witty remark. The joke should fit into one or two sentences.” It is not to be confused with a short joke: “Generally, if your joke would be more funny if it was written into more sentences, it's probably not a one-liner.” Although if the second sentence is a short sentence, it may be considered a one-liner.
If your Tesla gets stolen, is it called an Edison now?
Edison stole Tesla's idea for alternating current and took credit for it.
No. Edison was very much OPPOSED to alternating current, instead promoting his direct current supply. George Westinghouse pioneered AC power supply, buying the patent for an electric motor from Tesla, and he employed Tesla. Edison went as far as electrocuting an elephant to try to persuade consumers to avoid AC power. Look up 'war of the currents'.
Load More Replies...Thomas Edison stole most of his work from Nikola Tesla
Load More Replies...The thief will have to sell it before it catches fire. Teslas are such a hot commodity, they're blowing up... the market.
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The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic
True. And none of the things in "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette are ironic
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Why the hell did they name them 'Soldier ants' and not 'Combatants'?
There's a Facebook post about if the inventor of the walkie talkie came up with names of other things. For bumble bees, it's: fuzzy buzzy and I thoroughly enjoy this term
Load More Replies...Research conducted by Catherine Chauvin revealed that there are quite a few types of one-liners. She found that most of them were pun-based, when the author of the joke takes advantage of a word having more than one meaning.
Another big group of one-liners are set phrases. They are not funny by themselves and they are considered to be fixed but they can be modified when they are interpreted literally. An example the author of the article gives is, “It pains me to say it, but I have a sore throat.”
One-liners also rely on syntactic ambiguity, implicatures, and logical absurdities. They include riddles, pick-up phrases, and comebacks.
Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.
What if you cough AND speak Arabic? Do they throw you out of the airport?
I guess in the middle east they hand you a cough drop and tell you to wash your hands. In Europe, they might be a little edgy and watch you like a hawk. In the US, they overreact and rampage and then disintegrate you from orbit.
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“There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.
In Austria, there is the city of Leoben, which in local dialect is pronounced as "Laeioum".
I was gonna tell a time travelling joke but you guys didn't like it
Overheard at a protest: "What do we want?" "Time travel!" "When do we want it?" "It's irrelevant!"
This reminds me of my first true-love, little Suzie Jones...I used to kiss her on the lips, but now it's all over.
Despite its simple structure, a one-liner is quite a complex form of humor because the brain has to work quite a bit to process it and to understand it. Often, the meaning of a one-liner is not obvious and is hidden in the layers of language itself and the situation described in a few words.
Richard L. Lewis explains that “when an incongruity is reached, the brain is ready to reanalyze utterances to find the problematic structure and reapply information to resolve the incongruity. In humor, this process results in the discovery of humor, and the parsing itself produces laughter.”
An interviewer asked me how well i can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.
After reading this, I now have had to wipe the almond milk off my phone
If I had 50¢ for every math test I've failed, I'd have $7.20
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday.
Did these one-liners make you laugh? Which type of jokes do you personally enjoy the most? Have you found your new favorite one-line joke in this list? Let us know by upvoting your favorite ones and leave more funny short jokes in the comments!
I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give a man to your fish and feed your fish for like 6 months! :D
Teach a man to fish and he will do nothing but sit in that damn boat drinking beer all day!
Load More Replies...There are types of mushrooms that by eating a single one, it can feed you for the rest of your life
If you love someone, set them free. If they return, set them on fire. Works for me!
That's funny - who the hell downvoted this? What a bunch of bloody sad gits...
Load More Replies...Give a cat a fish and she'll eat for one day. Teach a cat how to fish and she'll sulk all day cause you didn't give her another fish.
give a man a plane ticket and he fly for a day. give a man a push of the plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!
Give a man a fish and he'll eat for one day. Teach a man how to fish and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer all day.
Superglue can also be used for cleaning your computer keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
I think it worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssssssssss
Help me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff
Chameleons are supposed to blend well, but I think it's ruined this smoothie.
Want to feel something weird? Roll your eyes and gag at the same time! X)
I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park but it’s just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it.
All the other commenters seem to have overlooked that the board is off by 90º The white square of the first rank always goes on the right.
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If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on a ceiling.
I was thinking Pogues too, but also thinking that the dart board isn’t on the ceiling, so not getting it at all
Load More Replies...I see what you did there... AND I AM SOOO ADDING THIS ONE TO MY ARSENAL OF ONE LINERS
My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making and now, I can’t read anything.
man addicted to drinking brake fluid claims he can stop anytime he wants
"And the pump don't work, cuz the vandals stole the handle!" Robert Zimmerman
I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.
By law, I have to share this story every time this situation pops up: I once received a thank you card from Mr. Hanks that did, indeed, say T.HANKS on the front! Dude is a class act all around.
Together, I can beat schizophrenia.
Most of the time these jokes confuse schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder.
They call it "disassociative identity disorder" now, but yeah.
Load More Replies...I'm a psychiatrist and also like it. Let's embrace irony.
Load More Replies...A similar joke I know: "I used to have schizophrenia but now we got much better"
One of my favorite lines from the tv show Frasier, is Niles rushing from the coffee shop, saying he was late for his multiple personality group therapy session. It took him forever to make the name tags.
I tried to remarry my ex-wife but She figured out I was only after my money.
His ex took his money in the divorce so he wants to marry her to get it back
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Why is it spelled “camouflage” and not
The word "misread" can be misread as "misread".
Miss Lead is the poster girl of the cinnabar lode.
Load More Replies...“Read” rhymes with “Lead” and “Read” rhythms with “Lead” but “Read” does not rhyme with “Lead”, nor does “Read” rhyme with “Lead”. And “Read” and “Read” don’t rhyme, nor does “Lead” rhyme with “Lead”. Ain’t English great?!?!
This is why I applaud those learning English
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It's quite ironic that "strap on", backwards, spells 'no parts'.
Yeah....also read no parts as no pants bwahaha
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Nothing tops a plain pizza.
I accidentally bit the inside of my cheek and now it hurts like crazy every time I sit down.
My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.
Tequila won't fix your life but it's worth a shot.
Say what you want about waitresses but they bring a lot to the table
Also, stop giving overweight people such a hard time. They have enough on their plate already.
And on a serious note: please don't assume that someone is overweight because of poor eating habits! There are multiple causes, one of which being weight gain as a side effect from a medication. Another cause? Medical conditions. Source: I've experienced these stereotypes and have medical conditions that make it hard to lose weight. I've only lost 5 pounds and I know that that's not a lot, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Load More Replies...Just hitting buttons all over this one. Giggling, which I try to do only in private. Speaking of Privates, why do they eat in the general mess, but Generals eat in a private mess. This paragraph is also a mess.
My current wife is never thrilled when I introduce her as my current wife
My current husband never likes it when I introduce him as another one of my victims. I’m on husband #5.
My dad like to refer to all his children as his from his first marriage. People argue with him until they realize it is my mother's first. As in first and only marriage. They are still married.
My husband is not always amused when I introduce him as my ex boyfriend.
When my wife gives me a hard time I normally tell her she is starting to sound like my ex-wife. I have never been married before.
This is my 2nd marriage. My husband laughs when I say, "You're my favorite husband....... so far."
I hate it when I'm texting, I get rudely interrupted by a cyclist bouncing off my windscreen.
the audacity required to do such an act... the lengths people go to mildly inconvenience others these days...
Load More Replies...Mountains aren’t just funny, they’re hill areas.
The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.
Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.
It's funny because the implication is that the person telling the joke is a stalker/predator, and the girl in question is running away in fear. Ha! Yes, quite fun. /s
... Am I the only one who was thinking that they went on a run together?
I dropped my phone in the bath. It's syncing now.
Mike Tyson is such a religious guy, he punches people in the faith.
Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.
Stained glass windows. Staining is what gives them color.
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y = mx + b
Am I being picky, or are these lame? I don't often make negative comments, but I stayed with it and it left me 'tired'. Time for bed methinks.
They were, but some made me laugh anyway! And/or partially because of the lameness perhaps?
Load More Replies...Am I being picky, or are these lame? I don't often make negative comments, but I stayed with it and it left me 'tired'. Time for bed methinks.
They were, but some made me laugh anyway! And/or partially because of the lameness perhaps?
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