ADVERTISEMENT

A long joke can be satisfying as it builds up the story, lets you imagine the situation, and gives you time to think about how you would act in it. However, at the end, you are presented with something completely unexpected, and that is what makes you laugh.

But short jokes like a one-liner can be good because they often rely on the play on words or familiar situations that immediately cause, if not have, a big laugh but at least make you smile. There is actually a whole subreddit dedicated to one-liners, and we collected the ones people found the funniest for you to enjoy.

More info: Reddit

#1

35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community “DO NOT TOUCH” must be one of the most terrifying things to read in braille.

SleepingBeetle , visualpun.ch Report

Susan S
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Omg. Laughing out loud in bed over this one

Eric Lafleur
Community Member
3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to hell for laughing at this. Imagine what can be read on textured toilet paper...

Jacky Arons
Community Member
3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

The subreddit has a simple name - Oneliners and it was created quite a while back in 2009. Over the years, it has attracted 150k subscribers and people are still quite actively posting new jokes there.

In the description, the subreddit creator explains what is a one-liner: “A one-liner is a succinct, funny or witty remark. The joke should fit into one or two sentences.” It is not to be confused with a short joke: “Generally, if your joke would be more funny if it was written into more sentences, it's probably not a one-liner.” Although if the second sentence is a short sentence, it may be considered a one-liner.

RELATED:
    #2

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community If your Tesla gets stolen, is it called an Edison now?

    jweber96 , jm3 on Flickr Report

    Mad Dragon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Edison stole Tesla's idea for alternating current and took credit for it.

    Gustav Gallifrey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. Edison was very much OPPOSED to alternating current, instead promoting his direct current supply. George Westinghouse pioneered AC power supply, buying the patent for an electric motor from Tesla, and he employed Tesla. Edison went as far as electrocuting an elephant to try to persuade consumers to avoid AC power. Look up 'war of the currents'.

    Load More Replies...
    Nimues Child
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, this made me spit my coffee! Upvote!

    Chris
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Edison was a hack and thief.

    Lsai Aeon
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thomas Edison stole most of his work from Nikola Tesla

    Load More Replies...
    Subrata Pradhan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But are there chances to steal a tesla ?

    Jonny Man
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The thief will have to sell it before it catches fire. Teslas are such a hot commodity, they're blowing up... the market.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #3

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community The adjective for metal is metallic, but not so for iron, which is ironic

    honolulu_oahu_mod , Anders Sandberg Report

    Tim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's also not irony.

    Night Owl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True. And none of the things in "Ironic" by Alanis Morissette are ironic

    Load More Replies...
    John Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and if pro is the opposite of con, what is progress the opposite of?

    Gossameringue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just curious what those objects are?

    View more comments
    #4

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Why the hell did they name them 'Soldier ants' and not 'Combatants'?

    VERBERD , Fractality Report

    Justin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why do they call them 'bumble bees' and not 'humbugs'?

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a Facebook post about if the inventor of the walkie talkie came up with names of other things. For bumble bees, it's: fuzzy buzzy and I thoroughly enjoy this term

    Load More Replies...
    Enuz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I am not a native English speaker, I had it at second reading. Nice pun

    Research conducted by Catherine Chauvin revealed that there are quite a few types of one-liners. She found that most of them were pun-based, when the author of the joke takes advantage of a word having more than one meaning.

    Another big group of one-liners are set phrases. They are not funny by themselves and they are considered to be fixed but they can be modified when they are interpreted literally. An example the author of the article gives is, “It pains me to say it, but I have a sore throat.” 

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT

    One-liners also rely on syntactic ambiguity, implicatures, and logical absurdities. They include riddles, pick-up phrases, and comebacks. 

    #5

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

    SpecialSauceSal 2 , Rene Schwietzke Report

    Mistiekim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What if you cough AND speak Arabic? Do they throw you out of the airport?

    Casey Payne
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess in the middle east they hand you a cough drop and tell you to wash your hands. In Europe, they might be a little edgy and watch you like a hawk. In the US, they overreact and rampage and then disintegrate you from orbit.

    Load More Replies...
    Nicky
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought this comment was racist.

    Terran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It isn't racist, it is about racism.

    Load More Replies...
    View more comments
    #6

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community “There are no words in the English language that have all the vowels in alphabetical order,” he said facetiously.

    FinalCaveat , Deb Stgo Report

    ToxiCity
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    oh wow, even the sometimes y

    Steve Bowman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In German it's "Magermilchjoghurt".

    Bernhard Sonderegger
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In Austria, there is the city of Leoben, which in local dialect is pronounced as "Laeioum".

    mulk
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I saw what you done here...

    Rob Williams
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll use that fact abstemiously…

    Tony Anderson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd downvote it twice if I could.

    #7

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I was gonna tell a time travelling joke but you guys didn't like it

    Redditnahredtitgetit , Fabrice Florin Report

    Gossameringue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Overheard at a protest: "What do we want?" "Time travel!" "When do we want it?" "It's irrelevant!"

    Mistiekim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So I told this joke instead. It got a few chuckles amid the groans.

    Simon Bolivar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This reminds me of my first true-love, little Suzie Jones...I used to kiss her on the lips, but now it's all over.

    ADVERTISEMENT

    Despite its simple structure, a one-liner is quite a complex form of humor because the brain has to work quite a bit to process it and to understand it. Often, the meaning of a one-liner is not obvious and is hidden in the layers of language itself and the situation described in a few words. 

    Richard L. Lewis explains that “when an incongruity is reached, the brain is ready to reanalyze utterances to find the problematic structure and reapply information to resolve the incongruity. In humor, this process results in the discovery of humor, and the parsing itself produces laughter.”

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #8

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community An interviewer asked me how well i can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

    sherry-monocles , Carl Lender Report

    Alexia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I need to remember this for my next interview =))))

    Your Neighborhood Alien
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see a Bowie reference, I upvote 🤗👨‍🎤

    Stephanie Trump
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Kinda stretching the one sentence thing

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After reading this, I now have had to wipe the almond milk off my phone

    #9

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community If I had 50¢ for every math test I've failed, I'd have $7.20

    dustyoboe , AndLikeThings Report

    🌵 Drazil
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your hasn't improved. You'd couldn't have more than $6.83. Remember the twerp you had pay so he wouldn't tattle??!!!

    Bored_Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’d have 0-50 cents (I’m not saying how many math tests I’ve failed)

    Subrata Pradhan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah ! So hard to tell how many tests you failed ?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #10

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday.

    VERBERD , colinedwards99 Report

    Bored_Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you can “discover” which one it’s on

    🌵 Drazil
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it always was!!!! It's never where I try to get it on my remote.

    Did these one-liners make you laugh? Which type of jokes do you personally enjoy the most? Have you found your new favorite one-line joke in this list? Let us know by upvoting your favorite ones and leave more funny short jokes in the comments!

    #11

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I named my eraser Confidence because it gets smaller after every mistake I make.

    honolulu_oahu_mod , Inma Molina Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #12

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for the night, set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

    Kamikaze_AZ22 , Thomas Widmann Report

    Peacemaker21
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give a man a fish and feed him for a day. Give a man to your fish and feed your fish for like 6 months! :D

    Chich
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teach a man to fish and he will do nothing but sit in that damn boat drinking beer all day!

    Load More Replies...
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are types of mushrooms that by eating a single one, it can feed you for the rest of your life

    Mike Beck
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All mushrooms are edible. Some more than once.

    Load More Replies...
    Matthew Jameson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you love someone, set them free. If they return, set them on fire. Works for me!

    CatGirl
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's funny - who the hell downvoted this? What a bunch of bloody sad gits...

    Load More Replies...
    Christof Irran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give a cat a fish and she'll eat for one day. Teach a cat how to fish and she'll sulk all day cause you didn't give her another fish.

    Enothor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will feed a village. Teach a man religion and he will starve to death praying for fish

    LAWLAWLAW
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give a man a duck and he'll eat for a day, teach a man to duck and he can avoid low flying objects for the rest of his life

    Hades (but good)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    give a man a plane ticket and he fly for a day. give a man a push of the plane and he'll fly for the rest of his life.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!

    Christof Irran
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give a man a fish and he'll eat for one day. Teach a man how to fish and he'll sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #13

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Superglue can also be used for cleaning your computer keyboarddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

    WhoElseButAlf , Glsysrp Report

    Lemonade Midnight
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried this and look what happendddddddddddddddd

    Madelyn Jeffords
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it worrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkssssssssssssssss

    Amalie Jaye
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Let me try thattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

    Oliver Thwaites
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Help me plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    Ezigma
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still smarter than the woman that put gorilla glue in her hair!

    Debrina Blackmoon
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiooooooooooooooooooooo

    Andrès Dì Fonoĺĺosa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wtfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

    #14

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Chameleons are supposed to blend well, but I think it's ruined this smoothie.

    WhoElseButAlf , Mike Goddard Report

    Ozymandias73
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not my idea of an ideal protein shake. Ewww.

    Kristen Veader
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Want to feel something weird? Roll your eyes and gag at the same time! X)

    #15

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I really love playing chess with elderly people in the park but it’s just really hard to find thirty two of them willing to do it.

    madazzahatter , franlhughes Report

    Dirk Daring
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That board is set up incorrectly.

    Stannous Flouride
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the other commenters seem to have overlooked that the board is off by 90º The white square of the first rank always goes on the right.

    Load More Replies...
    marianne eliza
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Queen gets her color. That's what I was made to remember.

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    #16

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community If there's one thing that makes me throw up, it's a dart board on a ceiling.

    madazzahatter , Michelle Cesare Report

    Katy McMouse
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took me too long, yet again. And, I want that Pogues poster.

    Hannah Edwards
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was thinking Pogues too, but also thinking that the dart board isn’t on the ceiling, so not getting it at all

    Load More Replies...
    James Carnduff
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can Someone Please Explain This To Me Like A 5 Year Old?

    Mika N
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know why I find this so funny! 🤣

    Ozymandias73
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I literally face-palmed and SMH'd. Good one though.

    Peacemaker21
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I see what you did there... AND I AM SOOO ADDING THIS ONE TO MY ARSENAL OF ONE LINERS

    #17

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community My wife asked me to put ketchup on the shopping list that I was making and now, I can’t read anything.

    madazzahatter , Mike Mozart Report

    #18

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community man addicted to drinking brake fluid claims he can stop anytime he wants

    queensavior , Robert Couse-Baker Report

    Alditekim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Seriously dude. You should stop. Hit the brake! I did, but the brake didn't work.

    Isaac Harvey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, he now has a braking point?

    Simon Bolivar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "And the pump don't work, cuz the vandals stole the handle!" Robert Zimmerman

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #19

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I asked Tom Hanks for his autograph, but all he wrote was thanks.

    808gecko808 , Dick Thomas Johnson Report

    TTorrest Author
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By law, I have to share this story every time this situation pops up: I once received a thank you card from Mr. Hanks that did, indeed, say T.HANKS on the front! Dude is a class act all around.

    GramDB
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He usually writes: ThankZ

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #20

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Together, I can beat schizophrenia.

    porichoygupto , Rick Kimpel Report

    Frank Ropen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Most of the time these jokes confuse schizophrenia with multiple personality disorder.

    Lori Rommel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They call it "disassociative identity disorder" now, but yeah.

    Load More Replies...
    Dorian Turner
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am schizophrenic. This is a great joke! We approve.

    Laura M D
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm a psychiatrist and also like it. Let's embrace irony.

    Load More Replies...
    MrLoufoque
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A similar joke I know: "I used to have schizophrenia but now we got much better"

    Alditekim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, myself, and i can do this!

    Grady'sRaider
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my favorite lines from the tv show Frasier, is Niles rushing from the coffee shop, saying he was late for his multiple personality group therapy session. It took him forever to make the name tags.

    View more comments
    #21

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I tried to remarry my ex-wife but She figured out I was only after my money.

    HugoZHackenbush2 , Keith Cooper Report

    Electra Complex
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    His ex took his money in the divorce so he wants to marry her to get it back

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #23

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community The word "misread" can be misread as "misread".

    RageBanana21 , Quinn Dombrowski Report

    flutterbyy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same with "mislead", which can be misread as "misled"--- damnit!

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Miss Lead is the poster girl of the cinnabar lode.

    Load More Replies...
    John Yaskowich
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Read” rhymes with “Lead” and “Read” rhythms with “Lead” but “Read” does not rhyme with “Lead”, nor does “Read” rhyme with “Lead”. And “Read” and “Read” don’t rhyme, nor does “Lead” rhyme with “Lead”. Ain’t English great?!?!

    Isaac Harvey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same with “lead” and “lead.”

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #24

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community It's quite ironic that "strap on", backwards, spells 'no parts'.

    honolulu_oahu_mod , Chris W Report

    Rensheta
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not the image that brought to mind?

    Nichole Harris
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah....also read no parts as no pants bwahaha

    Load More Replies...
    #25

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Nothing tops a plain pizza.

    jlaik , pelican Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #26

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I accidentally bit the inside of my cheek and now it hurts like crazy every time I sit down.

    VERBERD , lauren Report

    Joan Carthan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Took a sec to get it, butt I did

    Bored
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was quite a feat!

    #27

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community My girlfriend confided in me she loves when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly, I’m not a fan.

    madazzahatter , Guillaume Flament Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #28

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Tequila won't fix your life but it's worth a shot.

    Photog77 , Tiago Nicastro Report

    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #29

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Say what you want about waitresses but they bring a lot to the table

    wastoo , Phuket@photographer.net Report

    Smalltoid
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, stop giving overweight people such a hard time. They have enough on their plate already.

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And on a serious note: please don't assume that someone is overweight because of poor eating habits! There are multiple causes, one of which being weight gain as a side effect from a medication. Another cause? Medical conditions. Source: I've experienced these stereotypes and have medical conditions that make it hard to lose weight. I've only lost 5 pounds and I know that that's not a lot, but I just wanted to get that off my chest.

    Load More Replies...
    Simon Bolivar
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard that Midwives can really help people out.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just hitting buttons all over this one. Giggling, which I try to do only in private. Speaking of Privates, why do they eat in the general mess, but Generals eat in a private mess. This paragraph is also a mess.

    #30

    My current wife is never thrilled when I introduce her as my current wife

    brother_blue_57 Report

    Mistiekim
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My current husband never likes it when I introduce him as another one of my victims. I’m on husband #5.

    Daniel Atkins
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad like to refer to all his children as his from his first marriage. People argue with him until they realize it is my mother's first. As in first and only marriage. They are still married.

    Wondering Alice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband is not always amused when I introduce him as my ex boyfriend.

    Mike Beck
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Future ex-husband" is how I heard it on a sitcom years ago...

    Pieter Scheepers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my wife gives me a hard time I normally tell her she is starting to sound like my ex-wife. I have never been married before.

    Robert Trebor
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adds some electricity to the marriage.

    NannyChachi
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is my 2nd marriage. My husband laughs when I say, "You're my favorite husband....... so far."

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always introduce my husband as my ex-boyfriend, it confuses people and we laugh about it. He also introduces me as his ex-girlfriend.

    Tracy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I speak of my ex-husband, I refer to I’m as my first… to create an air of mystique.

    Bored_Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As though you’re about to break up with her

    View more comments
    #31

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community I hate it when I'm texting, I get rudely interrupted by a cyclist bouncing off my windscreen.

    VERBERD , rubel roy's photographyFollow Report

    flutterbyy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ikr, ppl are so inconsiderate these days.

    Great Pyrenees
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the audacity required to do such an act... the lengths people go to mildly inconvenience others these days...

    Load More Replies...
    René Sauer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God, that bike in the pic looks so uncomfortable to ride...

    ADVERTISEMENT
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #32

    Mountains aren’t just funny, they’re hill areas.

    madazzahatter Report

    Gossameringue
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're on a slippery slope to Punzone.

    #33

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

    thewhiskey , Josh Hallett Report

    #34

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Today I went for a walk with a girl, she noticed me, so we went for a run.

    VERBERD , João Sá Leão Report

    Saico Hipe
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's funny because the implication is that the person telling the joke is a stalker/predator, and the girl in question is running away in fear. Ha! Yes, quite fun. /s

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ... Am I the only one who was thinking that they went on a run together?

    View more comments
    ADVERTISEMENT
    See Also on Bored Panda
    #35

    I dropped my phone in the bath. It's syncing now.

    Raccoon-Just Report

    Isaac Harvey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    [British accent] And what is it syncing about?

    ADVERTISEMENT
    #36

    Mike Tyson is such a religious guy, he punches people in the faith.

    VERBERD Report

    Joan Carthan
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can actually hear him say this😜

    #37

    35 Of The Most Unexpectedly Funny Jokes Fitting In One Line, Shared In This Dedicated Online Community Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a Church window cleaner.

    VERBERD , Hefin Owen Report

    setsuriseikou
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stained glass windows. Staining is what gives them color.

    Load More Replies...
    ADVERTISEMENT