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“I’d Really Like To Hear The Reasoning Behind Women Who Won’t Take Their Husband’s Last Name” (28 Answers)
As we have said more than once, a wedding is one of the most important days in the life of any person, and any wedding consists of a whole set of traditional elements that we are actually so used to that we don’t even notice.
White bridesmaid dress, 'something borrowed, something new', walking down the aisle with beautiful classical music, exchanging rings, kissing at the altar, changing of the bride's last name, honeymoon trip... Wait, let's go back one step - just the tradition of taking a husband's last name today is gradually fading into the past. Or not?
Image credits: @_MercyFul
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It all started with this tweet from user @_MercyFul, as she wondered why women today refuse to take their husband's last name after marriage. The thread went viral with women coming up with various reasonings, from totally comical to completely logical and justified. So please feel free to read a selection of the most interesting opinions thoroughly collected by Bored Panda especially for you.
Historically, the tradition in which a woman takes her husband's last name after marriage comes from an ancient patriarchal society, when the wife actually left her own family after the wedding, joining the husband's extended family. Today, of course, this is not the case, but the tradition still persists.
And still, there are exceptions - for example, in Greece since 1983, according to the law, a woman retains her maiden name throughout her life. Or in Spain, where every child born receives two last names - the first is the name of the father, and the second is the mother's. However, local activists are also deeply concerned that this rule de facto downplays the role of the maternal last name.
I’m adopted, and this would be my reasoning! I loved my adopted father and I’m proud to call myself by his last name. It’s something that he absolutely chose to give me (by choosing to adopt me) and I’m grateful.
According to a 2015 study, approximately 70% of American women take their husband's last name after changing their marital status. A year later, a similar survey among British women showed almost 90%. Looks pretty strange, doesn't it? "What is it - a harmless tradition or something that has crept into our world from the past?" asks Simon Duncan, professor at the University of Bradford, in his 2019 study.
"Some men still insist on this - a kind of echo of the patriarchal tradition of the past," Professor Duncan emphasizes. "And some women do not mind, taking it for granted, they say that they dream of becoming 'Mrs. So-and-so' by changing their identity". The researcher goes further, calling what's happening now 'pretty dangerous,' whether the couple is deliberately sticking to an old tradition or just doing it 'as is customary.'
And so this collection, as we do think, will be of interest to both women and men. If you started thinking about the reasons for the emergence and development of such traditions in the contemporary world, then this list was definitely not in vain. So please feel free to scroll it to the very end and maybe add your own reasoning for keeping your own name after leaving the altar.
it says her last name is power, i don't blame her for keeping it!
Hi, Mrs. My History, I'm Lollipop Girl (bad dad joke, I'm sorry)
Have a friend who is madly in love with his wife after 25 years and introduces his wife as his "first wife". She laughs at people's reactions. They were meant for each other.
It’s a real thing, men don’t own women. so there’s no reason for women to take men’s names unless they want to.
No one? If I get married, I'm instantly combining my surname with my wife's. Length isn't as big as an issue as what she's saying.
My last name was a beautiful gift given to me by my adoptive father when I was 8 years old. I owe it to that man to keep that name. No man will ever hold a candle to what he did for me.
That legitimately got me a little choked up, what a beautiful sentiment 🥹
Load More Replies... I'll never understand why some men get so arsey about a woman not wanting to take their name when getting married. You're marrying them, not adopting them.
it's definitely a very fast way of saying "don't marry me"
Load More Replies... My last name was a beautiful gift given to me by my adoptive father when I was 8 years old. I owe it to that man to keep that name. No man will ever hold a candle to what he did for me.
That legitimately got me a little choked up, what a beautiful sentiment 🥹
Load More Replies... I'll never understand why some men get so arsey about a woman not wanting to take their name when getting married. You're marrying them, not adopting them.
it's definitely a very fast way of saying "don't marry me"
Load More Replies...