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32 Main Differences That Guests Noticed After Attending Multiple Weddings For The Same Person
Sometimes, life happens, and people don't stay in their marriage forever. Some find new partners they want to spend their lives with, which usually results in them getting married for the second, third, fourth, etc. time.
Have you ever wondered if the weddings of these people differ from each other? Well, today's article is here to answer your question -- it contains examples of the differences spotted in the multiple weddings of the same person. And who's better to notice things like that than the person who was invited to all of them, right?
More info: Reddit
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#1
Okay, I want to talk about this second wedding because it was unique, but it doesn’t really fit the question fully because I didn’t go to the groom’s first wedding (I didn’t even know him really, I was a plus one).
It was his 2nd wedding/marriage. He was a 60something year old Vietnam vet. It was at their local church. The couple had adopted a little girl from Vietnam years before that, she was 10 at the wedding. The bride who was in her 50s-60s wore a halter dress with daisies in her hair - the dress had a very young, hippie vibe and she looked beautiful in it. Their daughter walked down the aisle with mom/bride - she had on a white ballgown dress. The groom cried when they walked towards him.
The reception was at a private elementary/middle school, in the dining hall (so like a nice cafeteria). He was the IT guy there and the school offered the space as a gift. They had a local, beloved pizza/family-pub-casual restaurant cater (it was delicious). The principal/Headmaster of the school was there and he gave my then-boyfriend and I a tour. They had a fashion design/sewing room and the kids had made unconventional materials clothes displayed on the fashion forms. In the corner was a preliminary prototype of a a forearm and hand, hooked up to some computers. We learned that the 5th graders partnered with MIT students and Boston Children’s Hospital to bring the kids designs to life as real prosthetics for other kids. Isn’t that so cool?! I wish I could afford to send my kids there, ha. The principal spoke so highly of the groom.
During the first dance the bride and groom just swayed and gazed lovingly, peacefully, happily into eachother’s eyes. Their daughter joined them halfway through. And they all hugged and swayed together. I cried haha. The groom’s grown children from his first marriage eventually got out of their seats and joined them, with their spouses and kids (so the groom’s grandkids).
In lieu of gifts they encouraged donations to the Vietnamese orphanage and a veteran’s mental health support nonprofit.
It wasn’t the fanciest wedding but it was really lovely and memorable! There was so much love in it.
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#2
I can actually give context with my own wedding, lol. Years into my second (excellent) marriage, I was sorting through old photos. I wanted to make sure I had *some* photos from my first marriage for my kids, if they ever wanted them.
I stumbled across the picture of my dad walking me down the aisle. The look on his face can only be described as "death March unhappiness." I didn't learn till years later when I finally left my emotionally a*****e ex that they disliked him from the start.
Curious, I pulled out the wedding album from my second wedding (a beautiful, but chill backyard affair at our big country farm.) the look on my dad's face while walking me down the aisle at THAT wedding is best described as "woo hoo!! This is awesome!!"
The things we only see in hindsight... 🤣.
#3
My first marriage was a low budget church affair. Lasted 5 years. No kids, thankfully.
I got married a second time. We got married at the courthouse on our way to her family reunion, with only our eldest (not mine by blood, but He Is My Kid, Darn It) in attendance. (My wife was not married previously.)
We celebrate anniversary #17 this past Thursday. Added two more boys to the family early on, too.
It’s a commonly known fact that divorce is pretty common nowadays. But how common is it actually? Well, according to Modern Family Law, as of 2024, the divorce rate was between 40% to 50% for first marriages, with the number steadily declining over the past few decades.
They also added that on average, the marriages that end in divorce last about eight years, according to the U.S. Census data. Granted, this can vary, depending on factors like age, education, location, and so on. But that’s how it is with everything in life — there are always factors that things depend on, aren’t there?
#4
My cousin's first wedding was a massive blowout at a fancy winery, with an open bar, fancy catering, tons of flowers, the works. He's a blue collar worker and went into debt to pay for it because the bride and her family insisted, despite not being particularly wealthy themselves. Surprise, she always wanted to live outside their means, and didn't think she had to contribute financially. Lasted about two years.
His second wedding was at his hometown church. A friend officiated the 20-minute ceremony, and bride and groom wore thrifted outfits. His new wife's family cooked all the food for the reception in their backyard, and the two of them have been going strong for over 2 decades now.
#5
I have an aunt who has been married 7 times. When she called mom to invite her to...number 5, Mom said, "No thanks. I'll catch the next one."
I think they didn't speak for the duration of that marriage.
My aunt is a little out there.
Uncle Panda 4 months ago
How do you keep a straight face during the vows for your SEVENTH marriage?
#6
My sister has been married four times. First wedding was right out of high school, high school sweetheart deal, kind of an off the cuff event for two dumb teenagers before her new husband went off to become a Navy Seal.
Second wedding several years later was a shotgun deal, hippie vibes, at a cabin in the woods, with my 6 month old neice playing the part of her parents' flower girl.
Third wedding was this massive, over-the-top lakeside country club shin dig, like she was trying to prove a point? I barely remember it aside from being exhausted and astounded by the price tag.
Annnd the fourth wedding? I wouldn't know, they eloped and didn't invite anyone from our side of the family. LOL. I guess fourth time is the charm though, because they're still together! Thank god.
Still, overall, people who get divorced tend to be fairly young, which means that it’s pretty likely that they might get married for a second or third (or even more) time in their lives. For instance, the U.S. Census Bureau data shows that 42 million American adults have been married more than once. So, it’s a pretty high number, isn’t it?
That also suggests that all these people must have thrown more than one wedding. Unless they decided that they don’t want second (or different number) parties, but for the sake of today’s topic, let’s say they did throw them. After all, it’s likely that at least a good chunk of them did.
#7
My brother married twice… did the traditional church wedding the first time and then a laid back winery one for the second… which actually probably cost a bit more, but was totally worth it and fun.
He did have the same best man for both.
“It’s good to see you all again,” opening line was an absolute hit, hahaha.
#8
I can answer this as a woman married twice - the biggest difference was that I actually liked the individual I was marrying the second time around.
Don’t marry the kid you meet at 16 thinking you can change him. It did not work out well for me.
Uncle Panda 4 months ago (edited)
Human beings are not fixer-uppers, but choosing one reveals a strange insecurity. Why settle for someone you *think* might be good enough *someday*? You should be aiming for someone you love as is.
#9
Her smile. Obviously she smiled at wedding one but the look of genuine happiness at being able to be yourself is unmatched.
So, are there some things that must be different when you’re hosting your second wedding? Well, technically, no.
Essentially, this wedding can be whatever you want it to be – a huge party, a small ceremony, with traditional wedding attire or something unconventional – it all depends on what the couple getting hitched wants. Thus, not that much different from the first wedding – it can also be whatever the couple desires.
#10
My sister's first wedding: church, wedding dress and tuxes, bridesmaids and groomsmen, all that jazz. Second wedding: bride, groom, two witnesses (me and her best friend). Third wedding: small event with about 40 people tops, the feeling of love in the room was palpable. Best wedding I've ever been to.
#11
Wedding #1: I was friends with both the bride and groom. The wedding was very fancy and elaborate. The ceremony was at the Venetian in Vegas, we spent several days there doing wedding festivities and activities with family and friends. I was in the bridal party. The bride’s dress was a bejeweled ballgown, hair and makeup were done at the hotel spa, professional photographer booked for the day, the works. The reception and dinner were at a fancy Italian restaurant and we traveled there in a limo. They got annulled three months later.
Wedding #2: Same groom, different bride. The ceremony and reception were at a community center. All of the decorations were homemade. The bride’s dress was a simple strapless dress. She wore her hair back and no makeup. The food was catered by a local Chinese restaurant and we were encouraged to take home leftovers in a ziploc baggie. They just celebrated their 15th anniversary.
#12
The first: it was warm, dark, wet. I’m in utero, front row for my teenage parent’s 70s-a-riffic wedding.
Then I watched my dad get remarried to his lovely wife by an Elvis impersonator in Vegas. Highly recommend, everyone should experience a Vegas/Elvis wedding.
That means that all the differences between the first and second, third and so on weddings can come down to even the smallest of details. Or it can be very major. As today’s list shows, there are plenty of ways these differences can manifest, too.
Starting from the setting, people can throw one of their weddings in the fanciest places out there and another in a low-key setting. And it doesn’t mean that one is better than the other – again, it all very much depends on the situation.
#13
My sisters first wedding, she was knocked up in high school but the grooms mom paid for a nice ceremony and reception at a lovely bed and breakfast. Dude was a loser and a half and we all hated him. Lasted about eight years.
Second wedding was a small affair to a much older man we all went “well, if she’s happy, I guess?” lasted about eight years.
Third wedding was a back yard party. We all said “see you in another ten years for the next one” because it had been ten years between each wedding. That one lasted less than a year so I anticipate another wedding soon.
#14
My sister -
Marriage 1: normal guy, doctor, simple wedding
Marriage 2: billionaire. Huge wedding. Two state governors attended.
Marriage 3: Gun nut. (later divorced, remarried, shot new wife, kid, himself)
Marriage 4: Looks like it will be a normal guy again (Edit3 - a different normal guy from #1). I'm expecting a pretty minimal wedding.
For those who have asked, I'm probably not perfect on these durations, but marriage 1 lasted about 3 years, marriage 2, less than a year, marriage 3, about 10 years. She didn't bounce from marriage to marriage immediately, so she is in her 60s now - I expect 4 will be her last marriage.
Edit2 - now I feel like I should do an AMA about this!
#15
My cousin has been married four times. I love her but it got exhausting.
The first one we took very seriously.
The second one we treated more like a family party/get together.
The third one we all got absolutely hammered on champagne. They left disposable cameras on the tables for people to capture "special moments" that they'd later develop and put into a wedding scrapbook. My wife and some other cousins and I took the cameras into the bathrooms and took pictures of each other's asses.
I don't even remember the fourth one, I think they must've gone to the courthouse.
Another difference can simply (or actually not so simply) be in the person they’re marrying. Ultimately, all people are different; that isn’t a secret. Plus, there’s also a matter of dynamics between folks – both of them could be amazing personalities, but if they don’t work together, their wedding can have a much different vibe than the one between people who do fit together well. You get the gist.
So, check out the list for more in-depth examples, don’t forget to upvote them, and if you have any similar stories, don’t shy away from sharing them with us!
#16
Wedding #1 felt rushed. The bride was 26 and I think felt like she was at the age she was*supposed*to get married at. She had been friends with the groom for 4 years prior to their dating relationship and speedy engagement (3-6 months), but I did not sense any chemistry or compatibility. I was 19, so I figured I just didn’t know better. He was not a good guy—ended in divorce and a restraining order against him.
Wedding #2 was much more relaxed. She and her husband got engaged and married within a year and a half of knowing each other. The chemistry and compatibility between them is very apparent. They’ve been married for 9 years now.
#17
The first time he married a woman, the second time he married a man.
Seems much happier this time around 💙🧡❤️.
#18
My sister had two weddings because she got divorced. At her first wedding, we stayed up late wrapping roses in burlap and they showed up an hour late to their own wedding reception. At the second one, I (thankfully) didn't have to be in the party and my dad made a speech that was all about how she was the "last one to get married", as if she had never been married at all before. My uncle, who was getting as drunk as a potato in a vodka still, kept giggling and suggesting to me that we start all speeches with "it's great to see everyone again!" .
#19
My cousin first got married at age 20. It was a rushed affair because she was pregnant. It was a small family church wedding, that was entirely on the cheap. An afternoon wedding and a simple reception, with everything done by eight. No one mentioned the pregnancy in the few speeches.
My cousin got divorced at age 43, when her youngest kid was grown. She had three kids with her first husband. She got re-married at 49, and it was her dream wedding. The dress, cake, flowers, reception were amazing. It wasn't the most expensive event, but my cousin was so happy. She looked better and happier at 49, than at the age of 20.
#20
My dad has been married five times:
1) My mom: Based on what I’ve heard, big church wedding, all the family and friends. Expensive.
2) Backyard wedding: Just the kids and a random officiant. We were told the day of the wedding.
Divorced due to him cheating on her with a different woman, same name as her.
3) Courthouse wedding: She claimed to be an heiress and have cancer, they met online and my dad wanted to lock her down ASAP. She tried to k**l him at least twice.
4) Local bar: Some friends, some family. Married in their motorcycle gear (including chaps). I mainly came for the good pizza and to see my cousins.
5) Courthouse: Remarried Wife #4 after the divorce. No one but an unknown witness. Surprisingly, they’ve been together for some time and I’m actually kind of rooting for them now.
The kicker? Wives 1-4 go in alphabetical order. A, B, C, and D. Between 4 and 5 we took bets on who E would be, but then he remarried #4 so it’s A, B, C, and double D. No clue if he recognizes it.
#21
My cousin married twice. Her first one was a big Italian affair (our fathers are from Italy). Huge rented trolley, huge beautiful church service, amazing expensive authentic Italian catering, a gorgeous venue. That marriage lasted less than 3 years. The second guy was on a beach in Jersey, much more relaxed, sandals were provided for guests. Still a beautiful venue and amazing food but this one was about the couple and their loved ones. The first one was for show. They are still happy together 15 years later with 3 kids.
#22
Bride's side
1: pompa magna. Whole day of festivities. their divorce included how the expenses of the marriage had to paid off.
2: city hall. 60 people or less. Still married 8 years later.
My guess is that she was in love with love, barely any experience outside the school - university route. They were not ready for adulthood, let alone marriage. .
#23
My partner's sister was just recently remarried.
First wedding was not that extravagant (for a wealthy HCOL city) and guests and family didn't mingle with each other. A more rough and aggressive crowd. Cheap but still very image and appearance based. Marriage lasted a couple years, but they had been together for a decade prior.
The second wedding cost about half a million (free venue for reception) and way more upscale, multi day extravaganza with some (supposedly) famous people. Wedding made it into the New York Times. Sister married into a wealthy family and they got engaged after maybe a year or so? I've taken guesses at how long this one will last but who's to say.
#24
Sister’s first wedding was a traditional Big Deal wedding (marriage lasted 9 years). Second she eloped with new boyfriend in Vegas (no one attended that one though; this one lasted 2? years I think). Third was another Vegas wedding, but with family present. It was nice, not quite informal but certainly not the traditional Big To Do. She’s still married to that one 15 years later.
#25
My cousins first wedding was a small affair at some park under a tiny tent. During the ‘here comes the bride’ piece when his first wife was walking down the aisle, the cd started skipping. Immediately after the ceremony we had to fold chairs and take the tent down.
My cousins second wedding, he married in to some money, and they rented out an entire building out of the zoo. It sounded ridiculous but it was super nice. It was the the building that had the butterfly’s iirc. He fainted at the alter. Top shelf liquor all around at the reception. Great food.
They divorced not very long after as well. I haven’t seen or talked to him in about 20 years.
#26
My uncles first wedding and second wedding both felt like big fancy parties. The bride was a lot more age appropriate the second time and her family was more relaxed somehow. He met her at a church as opposed to who knows where. The vows were less dramatic(?) but the whole thing felt more grounded in a way, even though my brothers and I got very trashed and everyone was dancing.
His third wedding is bound to be a weird one since his girlfriend speaks not one bit of English. If he gets married again that is.
#27
I got married in 2008. It was a fantastic full day party in a venue in the middle of the mountains, surrounded by nature and traditional cultural stuff from our region. People got drunk in the fields, not in a bad way, and it was a lot of fun. It was remembered in the friend group for many years as one of the most memorable weddings.
I attended my ex husband's second wedding last month. The venue was definitely fancier than in the first wedding, and the pre-meal snacks were amazing: two hours of cheese bar, charcuteríe bar, fresh seafood cooked to order... Some people were surprised that all this was the pre-wedding food! The sit down menu was also more elaborate than in his first wedding, although less abundant, which absolutely was not a problem because we were all full from the cocktail hour(s). The ambience was less debauched because we all got old I guess? A crowd of 20somethings is calmer than a crowd of 40something. This wedding was attended by a local celebrity, which attracted a lot of attention, and my own husband also caused quite an impression because he looks a bit out of the ordinary.
I don't think they can be compared, but this wedding will also be remembered for many years.
(And my darling stalker, if you're reading this feel free to add your impressions as someone who was a guest in both!).
#28
I’ve been to both of my parents weddings. I was the flower girl when they got married to each other. For my mom’s second wedding, she did it on my grandparents farm. My boyfriend at the time ran the boombox for the wedding music and my little cousin told him he couldn’t be in the wedding because he had two rows of teeth. (He did have pretty crooked teeth.) Mom and my stepdad have been married over 20 years.
When my dad remarried, he didn’t even tell us he was dating anyone. I was in college and had never met her. They planned a big picnic kind of couched like a family gathering and were planning to do a surprise wedding there. That would’ve irritated the s**t out of me but my dad has always been pretty clueless about other people’s feelings. Idk, I guess it helps if you actually talk to your kids and ask them how they’re doing and share details of your life with them or whatever.
Anyway, my grandpa ended up getting really sick and was admitted to the hospital with leukemia. The picnic was canceled, they decided to tell us that they were engaged and getting married. Ok cool, no prob. They asked me, my brother and my step-sister to be in the wedding. I had pink hair at the time and my dad asked me to dye it to a natural color. My brother had just dyed his hair black so I did too. I’m naturally reddish brunette. My dad wanted to be annoyed and tell me about it but when he saw it for the first time, we were at my grandma’s house and she couldn’t stop telling me how good it looked and how much she loved it.
They wanted my grandpa to be able to attend the wedding so they got married in jeans and nice shirts in the chapel of the hospital he was at. Me and my brother stood up with them with our shoe polish black hair.
#29
A lot depends on the *other* person getting married.
I went to one second wedding that was super tiny, just simple, a small group. Both had been married before.
I went to another one where the guy was getting married the second time, but the bride the first, so it was just as big and fancy as any other wedding, because it was her first.
#30
Had a cousin who is on her fourth marriage. This last one nobody brought any wedding gifts, nobody planned a big reception or anything. Just a quick sit down in the church to listen to vows than everyone dipped. If she has a 5th I doubt anyone will even show up.
#31
My parents divorced, and then remarried each other a few years later.
Their first wedding was in the backyard of my great aunt’s house. I was technically in attendance, as my mom was pregnant with me. She was 17 and he was 19.
Their second wedding was at the courthouse, with my brother and I in attendance. They are still married, and don’t really acknowledge that they were ever divorced. My brother (6 years younger than me and too young to remember when they got remarried) literally didn’t even know they were ever divorced until he was an adult and I mentioned it offhand.
#32
My cousin had her first wedding at an exclusive yacht club in Greenwich, CT. There were over 500 guests, black tie formal, 3 bands, 4 massive tents, and an incredible fireworks extravaganza at the end of the night. Cost around $500k. Marriage lasted
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BrunoVI 4 months ago
Interesting how many of these were about people who were much happier in the later marriage. Statistically, second marriages are a long shot, but what I think I'm gathering from these is that the first marriages were for the sake of a wedding, and the marriage that "stuck" were marriages for love, after having learned their mistakes. But some kept making mistakes again and again!
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 4 months ago
I had a wedding the first time around, and a marriage the second time. Got married in jeans with two friends for witnesses and we've been together over 25 years.
BrunoVI 4 months ago
Interesting how many of these were about people who were much happier in the later marriage. Statistically, second marriages are a long shot, but what I think I'm gathering from these is that the first marriages were for the sake of a wedding, and the marriage that "stuck" were marriages for love, after having learned their mistakes. But some kept making mistakes again and again!
Not-a-Clue (she/her) 4 months ago
I had a wedding the first time around, and a marriage the second time. Got married in jeans with two friends for witnesses and we've been together over 25 years.
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