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33 People Share The Life-Changing Relationship Advice That Stuck With Them Forever
Ah, relationships. Every one has its quirks, foibles, and rough patches. Keeping things on the rails takes compromise, communication, and, sometimes, a bit of help from someone who’s been through it themselves. Maybe more than once.
One person asked an online community, “What’s the most valuable relationship advice anyone has ever given you?” and netizens didn’t hold back with some absolute gems. Here’s a collection of the best, perfect for couples who want to keep it together.
More info: Reddit
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I read a version of this somewhere and it's helped a lot:
"When life gives you challenges, remember that it isn't 'you two against each other', it's 'you two against the problem' "
And that's really stayed with me.
“Never stop dating your partner. Do something every day for no other reason than to make her smile”.
I once saw advice on Reddit that was along the lines of this: each person in a relationship should strive to do 60% of the work.
This is what you guys were doing.
Cheating and hitting should instantly and irreversibly end any relationship. There is no reason to do anything but leave.
For anyone wondering, what OP did was take something away from his wife's emotional labor.
It's not about doing chores, it's about totally taking things off your spouse's plate. Being a full participant in the home.
Communication be open and honest? Do not withdraw in your own world. Your wife is your partner in life. Keep the conversation going in a positive light. Always try and be positive before and negativity comes into the conversation. Most importantly respect.
You do those things your relationship will stay strong and together you will be a force.
You both are settling to different degrees at different times throughout the entirety of your relationship. Keep that in mind during the rough times.
If you're not grown up enough to handle a relationship then don't enter a relationship. So many relationships fall apart because of emotional immaturity on one or both parties behalf.
Don’t keep score.
You’re on the same team. If you’re worried about winning or losing, or who is doing more or less, or what’s fair to you, you’re keeping score. You’re on the same team.
Compromise and self reflection. Understand when you're wrong and learn from it, and find a way to come to an agreement. Meet in the middle.
I thought the take featured in the movie Ira and Abby was pretty good. The gist of it is that relationships are work and settling down and being in a relationship with someone is a choice, and it's a choice you have to (re)make regularly. Fun movie, would recommend it.
Don't say something out of bad emotion just to get it off your mind if it will have long-term consequences you wouldn't want to have when clear-minded.
Make enough money to pay for a twice a month maid service. House gets cleaned and no one's tired from cleaning, makes for a better weekend.
Look for someone as comfortable alone as they are with you otherwise your just a number in a que.
I had a older work friend give me some advice about the "family budget" for a 2 worker family
Each of you take a small piece of your paychecks and put them into a personal account then the rest goes to family matters
That way you each will have money you can spend without having to get the others approval.
A healthy relationship isn’t built on compromise. A compromise is where both sides give up something that they want in order to resolve a conflict. But if both sides in a relationship are constantly not getting what they want just to avoid conflict, they’ll both be unhappy. So a relationship cannot be based on mere compromise. It needs *sacrifice*. A sacrifice is where you *choose* to give something up in order to get something else, you give something up because you want and believe in something higher.
I think that shift reframes how you look at your relationships, or at least it has shifted how I approach relationships. It’s not about settling or bargaining to get what you want. It’s about thinking deeply about what it is you truly want and thinking about what it will take to get it. And a healthy relationship is about both people getting what they actually want. If you want a happy relationship, well, what will you give to get that?
A very wise man once told me when I still a teenager, “Never base your worth and self worth and dignity upon the virtue and/or faithfulness/trustworthiness of any woman/women, your worth and self worth and dignity are based upon your mathematical work and your mathematical work alone, nothing else, and definitely not upon the potential weaknesses any woman/women is/are capable of.”
In the world of treachery and betrayal and opportunism I have to work in on five different continents it has protected me from harm many many times and left those who sought to harm, cheat or betray me up a tree without any ladder whatsoever to climb back down again. lol. I pass through it all emotionally insulated, impervious to it all, and completely invulnerable, which people mistake for professionalism, and I don’t correct them. lmao.
Never catch feelings for a girl with a lot of male friends.
