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“Yup, I’m Breaking Up With You”: 40 Moments That Ruined Relationships
Interview With Expert
From a mechanical point of view, relationships are like cars — they require regular maintenance to keep running smoothly and the occasional overhaul when unforeseen issues arise. Without proper care, they'll gradually deteriorate and break down.
Sometimes, the damage can be so bad, the whole thing becomes irreparable. Interested in how people end up in such situations, Reddit user Thinkinginkling asked everyone on the platform to describe the moment they realized there was no more future with their partner.
Continue scrolling to find the most heartbreaking and infuriating stories from the discussion, and don't miss the talk we had with board-certified clinical psychologist Dr. Cortney S. Warren.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
He picked up my cat and threw him across the room because he laid on me...he was jealous of the damn cat.
Strings 1 year ago
Touch any of our animals with a violent hand, you'll be fertilizing the garden
Trillian 1 year ago
Absolutely. I would kick that piece of s**t out of the house and lock the door behind him.
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EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇵🇸🇩🇿 1 year ago
Ah no that's it. He would be sent back to his family in a matchbox. I can't stand people like this. The idea of someone touching or hurting my babies makes me physically sick with anger
LH25 1 year ago
I'm not sure the size of the guy's d**k matters here. I dated a bit before I met hubby, and didn't see any correlation between size and personality.
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Paul C. 1 year ago
I would say that I would punch his lights out, but I'm afraid my wife would beat me to it and the best I could do would be to help hide his remains.
Content Wombat 1 year ago
Wow, I would probably react with violence myself if someone did that to one of my pets.
María Hermida 1 year ago
Probably? I'm sure they won't have any teeth left or any fingers unbroken as soon as I make sure the cat is ok.
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Rachel Ratty 1 year ago
I think I might end up in jail becuase of him - maybe he should be made to watch dont F with cats!
Sue Denham 1 year ago
I hope your cat got in a few scratches and bites before you kicked him out the door.
Scrappychick 1 year ago
My ex dispised my cat, would get jealous of her if she sat on my lap or tried to get on the bed to snuggle in the morning. He also told me that after she passed away I want allowed to rescue another cat
Chefette67 1 year ago
What an arsehole! You dodged a bullet there mate, he would've done the same to you eventually
To find out more about relationship warning signs, we contacted author, researcher, and speaker Dr. Cortney S. Warren. She's a Harvard-trained, California-based board-certified clinical psychologist and Adjunct Professor of Psychiatry at the UNLV School of Medicine, and has noticed that some of the most common red flags are:
Irreconcilable differences. "When two people fundamentally want different things in a relationship and realize it—that there is no compromise on either side—it often signifies that the relationship will end," Warren, who has recently released her new book, Letting Go of Your Ex, told Bored Panda.
"For example, one person wants children and the other doesn’t; one person wants to live in their hometown while the other insists on a different, larger city; or one person wants monogamy while the other wants an open relationship."
RELATED:
#2
Man I just wanted to sleep. He wouldn't f*****g let me. He'd always been controlling, and I put up with it for way too long.
One morning as he was berating me for wanting to sleep after working third shift, I realized that this was going to be my life if I didn't bail: working my a*s off at work, and running the household at home, all while being treated like s**t for wanting/needing help.
Once he realized I was serious, he changed his tune but it was just way too little, way too late.
Content Wombat 1 year ago
Well done for realising what was going on and getting away. Hope you're doing better now. x
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Forcing sleep deprivation on someone is torture. Been through it. My ex would blast open the bedroom doors every 10 or 15 minutes, right when we'd be about to sleep, stare at us but say nothing, then slam the door closed. This would go on for hours when he'd have his night off because I still needed sleep for my shift in the morning and he was angry that he had one free night off on his 6 day work week and I didn't.
tw 72 1 year ago (edited)
Yep. I remember exactly where I was when I asked myself, "Do you want to do this for the next 30 years?" Decision made right then.
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Phil Green 1 year ago
Housework is definitely a shared responsibility. If it isn't, the other person is just a freeloader and not worth the effort. I work and do housework, and am the primary carer for my wife, anything less, on my part would make me a lesser person.
SuperChicken 1 year ago
What the heck? So happy Op got out of that relationship. I hope Op is doing better now and with someone who appreciates them.
Chelsea McKee 1 year ago (edited)
Omg. I had a long term job in my mid twenties then enrolled in college bachelor's program where I inevitably began working on a few research projects and a publication. Because I'm not singleminded, I can see that everyone is where they are for whatever reason. So I met this guy on a dating app and we decided to meet up after a few months of texting. He was unemployed, graduated with a 2.7 GPA, and lived at home with his mom. As a person I respected his attempts to turn his life around, because I heard that he also served time in jail. I had told him I wasn't romantically interested but we could still be friends so we would hangout. He really overestimated his importance and still had this huge machismo attitude about male / female roles and simply assumed he would be taking responsibility for my existence. Imagine? Why would I give you my reigns. He had such a bad attitude towards me, he didn't like my tone of voice, my facial expressions, my job, nothing. So I told him that this was the end of our relationship and he would get really sad about not having any friends and I would think to myself, maybe you don't have any friends because you have such a s****y attitude! He couldn't see it and "because he's a man" his attempts at controlling my life became stranger. He started secretly texting my mom and they together painted a really negative image. It was super weird. So I go to my boss and I explain that I'm having trouble at home and I need to know university resources, of which were slim. My boss decided to try and prescribe me Lithium of which I promptly walked out of the room in response to. My boss then tells this guy that he, a 2.7 GPA graduate who used a photo from 7 years and 100 lbs ago, that HE is responsible for my emotional state. I was in a twilight zone. He also owes me $1200. The moral of the story is you don't have to be nice or provide beyond human-dignity-level respect to anyone because you're a woman. You don't have to "get to know" anyone you don't want to and you certainly don't have to f*****g "get used to somebody".
#3
I have an extreme level of loyalty and commitment, sometimes to my own detriment, so I've never reached that moment, despite tonnes of red flags and things I would have loved to walk away from. My ex-fiancé just broke up with me a couple weeks ago after 10 years together, and it came as a massive shock but I'm feeling so much better now. No more 3-day-old curry breath, no more bowls full of mouldy milk left upstairs for a week, no more teenage boy behaviour from a 30-year-old man, no more feeling lonely while he spends every waking minute sitting upstairs away from me, no more awful sex that lacks basic stamina... yeah, I'm done lmao. Since we broke up I've started taking much better care of myself. Tending to my personal care more efficiently because I'm no longer depressed, eating better (I've lost 7lbs so far), moving/exercising more, my skin condition has just GONE, I'm laughing more, and generally feeling like I've got a fricking future again. I feel awesome.
Black Cat 1 year ago
You've lost more than 7lb. You've lost a massive burden. Good on you for looking after yourself better. Treat yourself the way you expect others to treat you and if they dont they're no great loss.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
I love hearing how people discover it's better to be single than to live with an arsewipe!
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
This makes me so happy for someone I don’t even know! Him leaving was the best thing to ever happen to her. I hope she spends time with herself learning how to build boundaries so that this never happens again. I used to be just like that!
The interest/love is gone (for one or both partners). According to Warren, when someone starts to feel indifferent towards their significant other—as if whether they are there or not is sort of irrelevant—it’s a sign that the relationship is going downhill.
Wandering eye for other partners. "Often when a relationship is coming to an end, people start looking at other people as potential mates or sexual partners. It can be a sign that they are trying to see if other potential mates are available," the psychologist added.
#4
While I was finishing up engineering school, he said to me “As long as I make more money, I don’t have to contribute as much to cooking and cleaning—my contribution is set”. Considering he was an established engineer for Ford, and we had been dating for 4 years, I realized that I would rather not be his house slave on a journey to catch up.
Tamra 1 year ago
So basically, if this guy lived alone, he'd presumably be doing his own cooking and cleaning anyway, right? But since he has a partner, he feels fine telling her that it will now mostly be her job. F**k off with that sexist c**p.
Prince Lee 1 year ago (edited)
not even sexist, if they were both men, HE WOULD DO THE SAME cause he figures he does more money, then it's not his job cause he doesn't make money on it, You are baseing it that OP is a female that "IT MUST BE SEXIST!" like that {most likely it is cause female/male relationships are more common then same sex, On that point i could say the upper commenter is Sexist for saying OP was Female unless they told it} being said OP's partner is an A$$
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Valek Fermiga 1 year ago
Grow up you stupid, ungrateful, sexist, used wet fart of a " man .... "
Justin Rogers 1 year ago
This is toxic both ways. No communication or boundaries or support. I will be damned if I work 10-12 days to pay for everything and cook dinner and get groceries and do dishes and laundry and mowing and cleaning without someone contributing. My ex-wife refused to do anything because se made $0.25 more an hour including feeding our child or diapers. I can and do all of this myself and don't need the headache
Jessica Urquhart 1 year ago
My ex talked like that to me. Really guilt tripped me if I didn't keep the house super clean and tidy all the time. Funny, though, when I earned more money but worked a few hours less than him per week, he didn't really change his tune. Somehow, in his mind, I was always indebted to him.
Gozer LeGozerian 1 year ago
Ok. Your bill for me cleaning the house, making food and keeping sh!t on point is $5000 monthly.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I mean both partners (key word that) need to contribute. If one is working full time and paying all the bills (possibly even their partner's university bills) then it makes sense for the other one to contribute in other ways. Whether that's cooking or cleaning or mowing the yard doesn't matter. It should also be based on free time. If someone is studying 40 hours a week and the other is working 40 hours a week then split it equally. If someone is studying 10 hours while the other is working 40 hours then the student does more around the house. The important point though is that shouldn't be a static thing. If someone is putting far more effort in (whether it's financially, or in household labour, or caring for the kids, or emotionally, or whatever then it's unbalanced and should be rebalanced.
Noyfb noyfb 1 year ago
Then the oil embargo came, Japanese cars ate Ford’s lunch, and Mr Engineer was … OMG … laid off! Better learn how to fry an egg and clean the bathroom, podner!
#5
The last ex was a nice enough guy. We were long distance, 1 state away. So he'd come spend the weekend with me once or twice a month.
The last he visited we had the discovery Channel on and it was some show about dinosaurs. He laughed at one point and said "yeah right the earth is only 4000ys old."
That's when it clicked, his family were born again Christians. The dinosaurs are a devil hoax and earth is 4k years old type. I knew instantly it wouldn't work. I cannot be with a science denier.
François Bouzigues 1 year ago
I went to church school and never once did the priest ever tried to deny dinosaurs.
Lydsylou (she/her) 1 year ago
I would be concerned if he did. I've never met a Christian who denies dinosaurs either
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
He's a born again Christian who's as bad at math as he is at science. Creationist Christians do believe that the universe was created in 4000 BC. But that's 6,000 years ago.
DC 1 year ago
One of those whackos even calculated the exact date of creation. 22nd October 4004 BC or so.
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ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Even for born-again Christians his math is off. Like, there's genealogies throughout the Bible. The math doesn't add up to 4k years.
Justin Tyme 1 year ago (edited)
Yeah, he was definitely wrong about 4,000 years. Earth is actually 5,784 years old according to the Hebrew Calendar.
RiaSaysLOL 1 year ago
This is actually the first time I've heard of a Christian denying science. As a Christian, I acknowledge science, as facts are facts. Also, Dinosaurs are devil hoaxes... I've never heard of that and if I heard it, I'd side eye you!
Lack of effort to connect. "A lack of effort to spend time together is a definite red flag. When a person starts to realize that they don’t really want to be around their mate, it becomes clear in their behavior. For example, not making plans, not communicating well, or even avoiding their partner."
Hostility or anger. Warren said that sometimes the end of a relationship is seen in an escalation of negative emotion — being angry and generally dissatisfied with a mate can make people want to leave.
#6
The final straw was:
Me: “I need emotional support”
Him “Can’t you get that from your friends?”.
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago
my best friend had similar with her EX they were having issues but the straw that broke the camels back was when she said to him i deserve to be happy and he laughed in her face that was it for her
Ellie H 1 year ago
It's funny when partners like this need their own emotional support. My ex husband was a sociopathic narcissist (I'm not exaggerating). Well when his dad passed away in another country, he was devastated. He cried to me and asked for me to be there for him. I shrugged, told him to suck it up, and left for a few weeks. Karma.
D. Pitbull 1 year ago
To add to this (gawd) - I had this reaction from an ex... and when I DID try to talk to a friend about it... she said "Yeah, well, can't you just get emotional support from other places?" - like, oh... wow, she was trying to tell me that it's totally acceptable and normal to NOT expect emotional support from my life-partner... SOoOOOoo got an ex-boyfriend and an ex-friend in the same week!
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
he isnt wrong. your friends might know how to help in a different way.
#7
He asked if I would be his "plan B".
BTW, mad props to Alicia for being the girl he was going to cheat on me with if she'd given him the chance. You are the reason we had the conversation that produced this revelation. I have no idea who you are, I've never seen you, I've never met you. But you saved me. You opened my eyes. Thank you, and thank you even more for snubbing him like the creep that he is lmao.
The Other Guest 1 year ago
I dated a guy for a while. After he met a friend of mine, he went on & on about how he really wanted to date her so I said, "Go ahead, ask her." She shot him down, so he told me that I'd "won" and he'd still keep seeing me. He went all Pikachu-face when I told him I wasn't a consolation prize & it was over between us. He was a jerk in other ways, too; that was just the final nail in the coffin.
Andrea Pereira 1 year ago
Plan B for me is that pill you take the next day when things went wrong. So yeah. It's not a great thing, it's just something you need to get rid of.
There's no universal solution to getting over a breakup. What works for one person might not for another. So Warren recommends a few specific things if you’re really struggling:
Pause and try not to act impulsively. "If you’re trying to heal ... and feel stuck on your ex—pining over them, focused on what they’re doing, wishing you could talk or understand what happened—you’re probably feeling really bad emotionally," she noted. "This makes you more likely to want to contact your ex. In the long run, this is going to make it harder for you to move on. So, when you want to reach out, pause. Stop acting and notice your feelings without reaching out to your ex."
#8
We were on vacation and on our way to get our luggage when they turned to me and said “I'm glad we’re together but damn I bet I'd be just as happy to be with some of the other women around here.”
I didn't reply and I'd be debating whether to break up anyway but that was the final straw. I still remember their face looking around while saying that.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
Got to be real careful typing that out, lol.
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Oskar vanZandt 1 year ago
What?!? You mean you weren't okay with being an interchangeable fembot for him?
Blue Flower 1 year ago
I would have picked up his luggage and hit him with it until he was curled up like a cocktail shrimp 🍤
Danish Susanne 1 year ago (edited)
One of the situations where you later wish you had answered: And I'd be just as happy if you were with one of the other women around here.
#9
Found d**k pics on his phone he'd sent to some woman on Twitter, then a dm conversation with a sex worker making an appt to see her. He'd also been having an emotional affair with someone he'd met online while I was going through cancer treatments. I was just done.
Anne Roberts 1 year ago
Why on Earth do men think d**k pics are a good idea. What woman really wants to look at that??
unfilteredCigarette73 1 year ago (edited)
In all fairness OP didn't mention if they were asked for pics, like did Twitter woman ask for...anyways if they were unsolicited thats freaking gross nobody wants to see your old balls jack@ss
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WonderWoman 1 year ago
Dickpics are never appropriate - never. No one is enamored by pictures of that, NO ONE. Just don't ever take pictures of your naked self.
Elizabeth Sedai 1 year ago
Unless the person asks for them. There are plenty of women and men that do ask and want them: people who are in long distance relationships or just enjoy seeing sexual organs. Yes, even women. I can say that because I'm a woman who does like the male form. Saying that it's "never appreciate- never" and "no one... NO ONE" wants to is wildly inaccurate. The important distinction is between solicited and nonsolicited. Unsolicited dp's are absolutely never appropriate, and are sexual harassment/ abuse. YOU not wanting to see dp's at all is your opinion and that's fine, but you don't get to tell other people their opinions. I mean that in all respect.
Load More Replies... Prince Lee 1 year ago
my second husband left me cause i had cancer, he had a friend that killed himself a year before and his reason for "leaving me" is he wanted to leave me before i died on him, he had too many people die on him, I DIDNT DIE I BEAT THE CANCER, and he tried coming back "well your not going to die on me now right" Dumped him even faster and blocked him
Valek Fermiga 1 year ago
It's amazing that you beat it - I really, really mean that.... that sack of shi* husband should hook up with the dog turd from the op, get handcuffed together, thrown into a pit full of rats so they slowly, and very painfully get eaten alive....
Load More Replies... Valek Fermiga 1 year ago
That fuc*ing disgusting c**t*!! - bad enough he was cheating on her, but cheating while she was going through cancer treatment?? 🤬🤬🤬🤬 - he SHOULD have been by her side all the way through it - EVERY session - that heartless wan*er should never be allowed to with anyone EVER again - he's pure scum....
Michelle H 1 year ago
Whoa! It's like you picked my exact situation right out of my head. My ex went so far as to use my cancer treatment as part of his hero story. I found slews of messages where he'd tell other woman how saintly he was taking care of his "sick friend with cancer". I was his wife of 13 years. Better off without him.
Valek Fermiga 1 year ago
Anger doesn't even start to cover the emotion I feel for that cun* 😡😡🤬🤬 you are so much better on your own than with the walking talking advert for Durex.... I hope you are recovering well.....
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Vinga Älvebjörk 1 year ago
I’ll never forget this guy I was se*ting for a year or so got to know him over facebook he said he was unhappy in his marriage etc and well I was young and dumb turns out his wife was really sick with cancer and he was doing this with many many women. And one got so angry she posted all pictures and some videos on his Facebook page which he left open for all. Texts too. I think the entire Italian village he was from knew in a few minutes or less.
El Dee 1 year ago
He has indeed wronged her, he should indeed be dumped immediately if not sooner. But why was she looking at his phone? That's something I have never done to any partner. If you're looking in his phone you already have issues over trust and you don't even NEED to look at the phone if it's like that..
Focus on yourself. Although it may seem like going through a breakup is a purely negative experience, it is the perfect time to understand yourself more deeply. "When it comes to relationships, this means focusing on how we contributed to the relationship starting, existing, and ending. Exploring what you want next and taking steps to heal yourself is your top priority now."
Take space from your ex. The psychologist highlighted that setting healthy boundaries around your ex is key to moving on. "It’s often very helpful for people not to have any contact with their ex for a while after a breakup, as well as stopping yourself from getting information about what they’re doing now through mutual friends or on social media (for example, who they’re dating now, what they’re doing, etc)," Warren added.
#10
I was on the fence about our future already but then as we were leaving a restaurant he went on about how the waitress was so disrespectful and rude to him and because of that he was seething mad and didn't want me to talk to him for a bit. I was baffled bc the waitress wasn't rude. Then after a bit it hit me. I paid so the waitress was talking to me and not him and apparently he felt ignored. But his reaction was sooooo disproportionate to the situation and I felt really uncomfortable with how he spoke about her so that was my moment.
marianne eliza 1 year ago
Probably more so because she paid. In public! Instead of slyly slipping him the money under the table so he could be the man.
Load More Replies... That One 1 year ago
Next time make sure waitress pats the head of whoever they don't talk to. 😄
Khavrinen 1 year ago
Maybe bring him a lollipop to keep him occupied while the grown-ups are talking.
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Lori 1 year ago
My dad is this kind of person. He will misread a social situation and then lament about it for months that the cashier, server, librarian, worker, etc., was "rude" to him because they didn't go out of their way for him (such as being overly friendly or smiley). It's exhausting. He does this with men and women alike.
EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇵🇸🇩🇿 1 year ago
What a total child. I can't and wouldn't deal with that silliness from someone. I've not got the patience.
shankShaw deReemer 1 year ago
Lord, never mind. I SOOO very much misread that! Better stop my current activities or I might have to hit myself back to normal vision! Sorry, pandas!
Load More Replies... #11
When I found out my mom had lung cancer and she didn’t want me to fly home for the surgery because my business was too young and she didn’t want me gone for two weeks.
I flew home anyway. Mom is doing great now and the business is flourishing.
Johnnynatfan 1 year ago
What does this have to do with a relationship? Some more context would have been nice.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago (edited)
The wording is a little misleading. His (or her; or neither; or both) mom had cancer and their partner (the “she” in the sentence) didn’t want them to leave because they had a new business. This girlfriend/wife/ partner wanted them to choose the business over their mother. Edit: from clues of the original Reddit, they identify as he/him and his girlfriend wanted him to choose the business first.
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Albert Roberts 1 year ago
This is so poorly worded I was like but you didn't break up with your mom?
Scott mati 1 year ago
Am I missing something? Nothing in this mentions what he did or didn’t do. Just about her.
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
honestly, it could have easily failed, and proved her right. you got lucky.
Paul Brown 1 year ago
My ex-wife got mad at me because I was spending all my free time with my baby sister as she was dying fom terminal cancer. Yea, that's one of the reasons she's my ex.
Stop having sex with your ex—and maybe even other partners. Warren said that sex is a very complicated topic when it comes to breakups. If you are in love with someone, it's generally connected to some emotion and the expression of love for another person but, for many people, sex has nothing to do with love—it's tied to getting an orgasm, feeling powerful, or being desired. So "if you’re trying to move on from your ex, sleeping with them, touching them, being sexual with them will make it harder to let go. And, even having sex with a new partner can be very triggering if you’re struggling to move on because it may be a psychological reminder of your breakup as well as a neurobiological high that re-activates your connection to your ex."
Increase your self-care. It may seem simple, but focusing on getting enough sleep, eating healthy food, exercising, and taking good care of your physical health is key during these difficult times.
#12
She broke up with me, then as I brought her stuff to her, she said I'm mad for thinking she meant it. So I ended it.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago
Juvenile games are a drag. I really don't understand why someone would try to do this.
Giraffy Window 1 year ago
"It's too late. As soon as you broke up with me I felt MILES better."
Red Dahlia 1 year ago
Reminds me of the story where a man told his wife he cheated on her (this was a prank) while they were on a boat and she got upset so she threw her ring. He was mad at her for that! That is a cruel prank and I hope she divorces him.
#13
For example, the last boyfriend i had would neglect me, never do anything for me, blow me off for other people, and sometimes even insult me. but if im honest the thing that really turned it around for me was that he left a dove chocolate wrapper on my floor (when he came to visit me for the first time in weeks). idk why that was the turning point for me. i just had a vision of cleaning up his messes for the rest of time and even though i didn’t break up with him then it definitely set me on that path lmao. that little blue wrapper sitting on my nice clean carpet…i just can’t.
Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
Anybody else noticing in the pic, it would be cheaper to buy the two smaller packs weight/price?
TheElderNom 1 year ago
I'm more concerned about the fact that to me dove is a brand of soap.
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EmAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇵🇸🇩🇿 1 year ago
It's funny how it's the little things. I remember looking at my ex one day and i just didn't recognise him, he looked different to me. He was still slobbering on about something and giving out but he just looked different to me. That's when i knew
Mabelbabel 1 year ago
I have an ex-boyfriend from college-we catch-up occasionally over coffee etc. I got married a few years back, but he's been a serial dater and lives alone. Last time we met up, his girlfriend had just dumped him, which upset him because he didn't know why. He used to say to her "there's a 60% chance I'll be able to go out on Saturday" (for example). What it meant was "I'll wait and see if any other exciting options come up, or if my friends want to go out, but if not, I'll make do with you." He genuinely couldn't see why she had a problem with that. He expected her to sit around waiting for him, just in case he graced her with his presence.
Increase your social support. This is a time when reaching out to trusted friends and family can play a huge role in recovery. Warren added that joining a support group like Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous or Codependents Anonymous can also prove to be very helpful.
Be careful with your behavior. "Don't act in ways that ultimately harm you more—like drinking a lot, using drugs to distract yourself, or acting in spiteful/angry ways towards your ex. Strive to act in ways that help you and don’t hurt you over time," the psychologist said.
"If you’re going through a tough breakup, remember that you’re not alone. Almost all of us will go through a very difficult one at some point in our lives," she noted. There are many therapeutic skills that you can learn to help you let go of your ex and create the next great phase of your life, many of which are described in detail with activities for people to practice in my new book, Letting Go of Your Ex."
#14
He wouldn’t dance with me.
Obviously there were other issues going on, but when he wouldn’t dance with me at a party put on by his friends…it was a silly fun party, with a silly theme, and 70s music, my FAVORITE. He wouldn’t agree to even try to dance to even one song. Just stood or sat by a wall, on his phone from time to time. I just knew I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life dancing alone because my partner wouldn’t dance with me.
Brenda 1 year ago
My late husband wasn't a dancer in any sense of the word, but he did like to hold me & slowly go in circles. Knowing how hurt I was when my first husband refused to even slow dance with me at our reception (he loudly refused in front of our guests), so he got my mom to teach him some basic moves (she was a dancer). It wasn't anything special to watch, but knowing he did it just for me? Damn, I miss him. It's only been 5 months, but that kind of memory keeps me going.
Jaya 1 year ago
There's absolutely nothing wrong with not wanting to dance. There's nothing wrong with him, they're just simply incompatible if he really hates dancing and she really wants dancing together. Of course it's good to make an effort to do something your partner really likes, but some people feel SO uncomfortable dancing, that it's too much to ask of them.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I hate dancing myself, but if your partner really loves it you can at least make a token effort. And even if you absolutely refused to dance, it sounds like he was more interested in looking at his phone than her. Could have said "no you dance and have fun" and smiled and watched her rather than playing with his phone.
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UpQuarkDownQuark (he/him) 1 year ago (edited)
This one hits hard. I don’t dance. I won’t dance. My wife loves to dance, but I simply will never join her in it. The root of it is that I simply have zero interest in dancing; music doesn’t make want to move my body, even as a musician. But the big thing is that I'm also riddled with anxiety, and the idea of moving and wiggling my body around in public fills me with utter dread and makes me sick to my stomach. So no, I will not even try. I’m fortunate that my wife is understanding, and am happy that she has friends she can go dancing with.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Tbf, since having a dance partner is so important to her, and he just can't be bothered, it wouldn't work for either of them. My mom is like this. She LOVES to go dancing. She's been with wallflower guys but it didn't jive with her personality and felt a bit embarrassed being alone dancing. Then when other guys want to be her dance partner it would end up with her and her boyfriend fighting because he's jealous, and she's angry with him for not at least trying to let her teach him to dance. It doesn't end well.
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Ace 1 year ago
Some people just don't like dancing. I accept that some people do like to dance, but anyone trying to force me to dance is going to be disappointed. If you insist that your partner has to be a dancer that's your choice, but from his perspective it's you abandoning him at a party by going out on the dance floor while he's left alone at the side with only his phone for company.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm afraid I would be the same and not dance either. I absolutely Hate it. But I also very much understand the OPs decision too 😊
David 1 year ago
I feel his pain but sometimes you suck it up. Due to (old story, bad memory) it is very hard for me to dance in front of other people.. But on a recent trip they put on a pretty nice surprise birthday party for my "MIL" (my brother's wife's mother) and they did the thing where each relative goes up to her, hands her a rose, and then dances with her for a minute or two - followed by the next person and so on. Someone handed me a rose to give her and I was sitting at the front and easily seen. So I thought "F it - this is about her, not me" and went up and danced with her. And I even danced at the group dance after that. Nothing worth bragging about - just my own hang ups. But my point is even if he is shy to dance - sometimes you set your ego aside and do it for the other person(s)
#15
He didn’t like that I was my own person with my own thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes. He tried to made me into a copy of himself. In the end I dreaded going to his place. Then I knew it was time for us to go seperate ways.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I'm incredibly relieved you realised this whilst not living together ❤️
Lexi 1 year ago
If he loves himself that much I'm sure he'll be fine using his hands to please himself
That One 1 year ago
Not necessarily "loves himself". Though it is true in a lot of cases, of course. But some people just want a partner with similar interests and ways to do stuff to maintain the comfort zone they have (sometimes due to some mental condition). People should just spend more time and effort on finding their fitting partner instead of just grabbing the first person who smiled to them and then attempting to reshape them.
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Cynthia Adams 1 year ago
Good grief. The real tragedy is that there are millions of others like this out in the universe. Good vibes that we each never meet another.
#16
Multiple cheating that I tried to deal with. Should have left the first time. Then one night when we were going to bed he was on the furthest side of the bed almost up in the corner - a grown man as far away as he could be on a queen mattress so he wouldn’t be near me. He said he wasn’t happy and wasn’t attracted to me. I said this is enough and went the next day and got the divorce papers. It’s been 10 years and I’m still single.
CSC 1 year ago
Single doesn't mean unhappy. I imagine that you are indeed much happier. At least I hope so.
StumblingThroughLife 1 year ago
Once a cheat, always a cheat. I'd never trust the person again and would (did) divorce him the first time he did it. I do understand, though, that some people have valid reasons for not doing so immediately: those with young kids, and are SAH parents, for example
🦄 Unicorn Princess 1 year ago
9 years and I'm still single too! I wouldn't mind sharing my life with someone but I'm not gonna hope on the dating app scene. Kinda creeps me out.
LadyHermit 1 year ago
You were single before the divorce too, you just didn't know it yet. Being in a one-sided relationship with someone who doesn't appreciate you is, at its core, still singledom, just undercover and traumatic.
#17
The breaking point for me was when he has a literal hissy fit like a child in a convenience store because he thought the cashier was favoring the rich townies before him because he looked poor. He threw his bag of chips on the counter and stormed out of the store. I apologized to the clerk and ran after him. I had to talk to him like his mother and tell him that Im not dealing with this kind of behavior and he will go back into the store to buy his stupid snacks because I don’t want to hear about it for the rest of the day. I was literally so embarrassed to be around him after that.
Phil Vaive 1 year ago
I'm just wondering what lead to this...maybe he was being treated poorly because he looked poor? I've seen it happen (hell, I've even been encouraged to do so by my former boss. I never did, but it was encouraged to all the staff to give people who were dressed better better service, as they would be "more likely to spend more")
ILoveMySon 1 year ago
Interesting. One of my favorite clients was literally a one percenter. The first time he came into my office he was wearing tattered clothing and drove a 20+ year old car. He appreciated that I treated him like I would anyone else. Don't judge a book by its cover.
Load More Replies... Rachel Ratty 1 year ago
I hate it when people are rude to service staff - really hate it - absolutely no need
#18
I was throwing up and he ignored me while watching sports in his phone.
Crystal Spencer 1 year ago (edited)
I haven't left him...yet...reasons.. but this will be the first reason listed in the divorce when I do. He left me soaked in vomit, never offered meds or drinks. Just ignored the fact that chemo was kicking my a*s. Still today he ignores the fact that I have cancer. I think it's ptsd from the first time I had it but dang, my kids can't fully take care of me. They're kids! They don't know what to do and they shouldn't have to. He's the one who promised to be there in sickness, not them.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
Geez, I'm sorry you're dealing with a shìtty partner, imo and excuse my language. Like you don't have enough on your plate, as it is. I'm hoping you can leave him asap and find someone who wants to help and care for you, when needed. I dealt with my ex-husband and his abusive bs for 10 years too long and I filed for a divorce. Been single for about 6 years now and I'm so much happier without him in my life. Keep your head up and stay strong. You're clearly a bad àss being a cancer survivor and now kicking its àss again. You got this! 💪🩷
Load More Replies... Phil Vaive 1 year ago
Am I the only person who would rather be left alone while throwing up? Like, if someone was fussing over me while I'm puking, I'd want them to get the hell away from me. I'm busy. Back off.
Kare Deter 1 year ago
Not at all. I thought the same. Puking is not a spectator sport!
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Rachel Ratty 1 year ago
what a D*** - I was only on my third date with my now husband and made the mistake of having a small drink whilst on some meds - really ill - he held my hair whilst I puked in a bucket - and carried on eating his chicken sandwich whilst doing so - knew he was the guy for me then!
Nuku Nyara 1 year ago
I guess I'm the luckiest winner. 🤩👍 If I throw up, mine comes to check on me and offer to help hold my hair out of the way ❤️
#19
When I found out he hacked my email. Did you know that through your gmail account you can access literally everything? Like Google maps history and Google history? I didn’t until that day. I had absolutely nothing to hide. But found out he had been literally stalking my every move and location for months. I felt so completely violated.
Mari Posa 1 year ago (edited)
Good on you for cutting it off! What app or how did you discover that? My father had been hacking my email and chats and Internet activity for years... as if he owned me. He wrote computer programs for a phone company--lived inside a computer. When I found out, it took me seven years to get him out of my computer. He was in the states and I was living outside of the country. I had to lie to all my girlfriends in the states that I didn't have email and that I couldn't afford to be connected. Every time I changed my email address, he would just hack their computer and find out all my updated material. It was useless. I got a new computer with a new MAC address different IP address and I never emailed him or anybody that he knew or that I had ever emailed in the past, again. He ended up buying me a computer and sending it to me hoping to solve his problem, and when I wouldn't use it he had a fit. Apparently, he had it loaded with so much spyware there wouldn't have been another way for me to get rid of him. I never even turned it on. How did you do it?
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
Hacked her email or simply had her google password and used it? Because they're two different things. Still not good scouring her history even if he had the password, but actively hacking is worse.
Candace Taylor 1 year ago
I had a boyfriend do that too it was really creepy and disturbing and the sad aspect is I was up to nothing and he destroyed our relationship for nothing
#20
She voted for brexit.
me myself and i (she/her) 1 year ago
Can someone please tell me what brexit is? Ik it was Britain leaving something but Im not from Britain or europe or the americas so I don’t know much about it. Thanks!
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María Hermida 1 year ago
@Rachel Ratty Yes, Rachel. Of course. All the problems in the UK magically solved when you left the EU. You can see with pristine clarity how wonderful life is now there, and how well everything works, especially the NHS, once you expelled all those f*****g foreigners.
Certainly not Dan 1 year ago
As Will Self put it “Not all Brexit voters are racist, but all racists are Brexit voters”. It was a complex economic and social argument out into emotional terms, and not enough people thought hard enough about it, and our country is diminished.
#21
He cheated on me with his ex and then told his mom that I kicked him out and made him sleep on the street because he “made a mistake.” I didn’t. I chose to leave and stay with a friend. I woke up the next morning to 100 messages from her telling me what a piece of s**t I am for making her baby boy sleep outside over a mistake. He also stole my Xanax and then blamed me for leaving my lockbox open. I also didn’t do that, but the fact that I had to keep them locked up in the first place was lost on him. Was single for years after that.
Becky Samuel 1 year ago
If my husband or my pets need opiate medications, they have to be kept in a lock box in the house and the key well hidden. I've been clean for 10 years, but having the medication in the house or in plain sight is just incredibly difficult for me to handle and I would fail that test eventually. Falling into addiction may be something that you can have a little control over, but once you've gone down that path you are changed forever.
StretcherBearer 1 year ago (edited)
Absolutely. This was a slight trigger for me because my addiction revolved around benzos. I have broken into lock boxes to get to my meds. I've been clean for 6 years but yeah I can't be around Adderall. It's hard but I am actually truly happy with a wife and (step) children all of the things I surrendered to my addiction and mental illnesses and never thought I could have.
Load More Replies... Black Cat 1 year ago
Cheating isn't a mistake. mistakes are unintentional. Nobody screws someone unintentionally. His mistake was that he got caught.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
His mistake was doing it while in a relationship. There should be no risk of getting caught, you just don't do it. The way I see it there are two options if you find yourself wanting "outside action" and both start with talking to your partner. You could open the relationship, or you break up. Either way you're then free to pursue other people.
Load More Replies... Michael P (Perthaussieguy) 1 year ago
If any son or daughter of mine told me they had been kicked out on the street for cheating, I would have said 'Well, you deserved it'
Kare Deter 1 year ago
I doubt he was that specific over what his "mistake" was when playing the pity card with mommy.
Load More Replies... #22
He basically told me there was no point in me pursuing a career because all women should be stay at home moms, and that's what he wants for his children. We were both 19, had only been dating like 2 months, and hadn't even kissed yet. I've also never had any interest in having or raising kids, which I had already told him, but I guess he didn't find my opinion on the matter to be important.
Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
Point him in the direction of the nearest dumpster, you mean.
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Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Well okay but you have to go out every day and club a mammoth to death and drag it back to the cave. Also you will be expected to keep me supplied with sabre tooth tiger pelts so I can look pretty. You'll probably be devoured by a cave bear before you hit 40 but that's no great loss.
Jay Scales 1 year ago
At least you found out early on & didn't waste time & emotion on this creature!
Trillian 1 year ago
How can you "date" someone that you haven't even kissed yet? Isn't that just an ordinary friendship?
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Given the would-be boyfriend's horribly out of date ideas about marriage, it's possible they had one of those upbringings where you're not supposed to kiss until you're at the altar.
Load More Replies... veirdbuttrue 1 year ago
Do....people still believe this sort of stuff about what women should and shouldn't do? and the complete disregard for what she wants is mind boggling.
Laserleader 1 year ago
Good for her. One guy I almost dated told me he was gonna marry me, or any of the girls in my family, and I would be the mother of an army of children that would protect him from the world. Sufficient to say, I avoided him from then on.
Nykky 1 year ago
This and sometimes religion and politics I think should be a third date talk, especially if you both are super interested and serious. The moment you know these things aren't compatible, the easier it is to make a clean break. The topic of children is never negotiable, but religion and politics may have some chance
Betsy S 10 months ago
3rd date at the latest. Make sure you find out the compatibility levels on the HUGE issues before you get too attached.
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Jan Bowyer 1 year ago
This sounds like a scary controlling rigid religious situation. You know, women are just accessories.
Kraneia The Dancing Dryad 1 year ago
Good thing you got out of that before you got in too far.
#23
Went out for a night to myself for once. My ex husband said that if I didn’t come home (I’d only been out an hour at that point) that he would go to every bar in the area to hunt me down and “bring me home”.
Strings 1 year ago
We had a couple occasions like this when I was bouncing. All the woman had to do was inform me, and show me a pic of their partner: partner had a sudden ban, and the lady would have an escort to their car at the end of the night (and advice to call the police)
That One 1 year ago
Ooooh! That's actually awesome. Don't go home and avoid bars. Let him spend years on his quest.
cerinamroth 1 year ago
..."She was finally found, 24 years later, deeply engrossed in a fascinating tome at the local library."
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Novadoe (She/They) 1 year ago
My older sister had a situation like this with her now ex-boyfriend. She went out one night with friends, and he accused her of cheating and was irritated that she didn't keep him updated. They fought, a lot, and she stayed with my family and I for a few days before she found a new place to stay. It was a long struggle, and there's still some drama going on there, but it's mostly resolved.
#24
I was very happily in love, and was confident we could work through anything until he said, “sometimes I wish you were skinnier.” That broke me as I am very self conscious about my weight.
Ace 1 year ago
Yeah, on the list of "Things you should never say to your girlfriend" this has to be a solid contender for the top spot.
Somethingpenguin 1 year ago
Contender? that would be undoubtedly the number one spot I think.
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WoburnGrrl82 1 year ago
I was waiting for someone to post this! My ex fiancé wanted me to lose weight and when I did the next thing was to cut all sugar from my diet. That was the final straw. Five years together and the whole time he’s trying to change me!
Milady Blue 1 year ago
Then you retort with, "And I wish you were smarter AND richer. Goodbye."
#25
We went to a concert and in that moment I realized something was wrong. I shouldn’t be here with him. I loved the band, but wasn’t excited because of who I was there with. It made me realize that something wasn’t right. I know this sounds weird, but it opened my eyes. I slowly began to realize that nothing in our relationship excited me or made me happy anymore.
Katie Lutesinger 1 year ago
Your username and picture are so cute! I love wombats. :D
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Learner Panda 1 year ago
I went on a Caribbean cruise with the wrong man. Divorced shortly after.
Comedy Clumbers 1 year ago
For me once it took realizing how relieved I was when I got home and they weren't yet.
Performingyak 1 year ago
In a similar situation I said to a (now ex) "it's as if we are just housemates who share a bed." He agreed. We are still friends.
#26
I wasn’t a priority.
Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
Agreed. This is where I am in my marriage. It seems like such a small thing, and such a monumental thing. Part of me says it's silly to leave over that, and the other part says it's the only reason you need.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 1 year ago
I dunno. I've had a woman say this to me as well and my reply is always, "I DO make you as high a priority as I can. BUT I don't get the impression I'm YOUR priority.". ... In short, no, if you think you're the main character/centre stage, I'm out. We take turns, as our needs demand. If you want to be the only one on stage, ciao.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
I'd also say compared to what? My cancer treatment? My/our kids? My dying parent? My best friends wedding? My final exams for my uni degree? My job that is the only thing keeping us from losing the house? Sometimes external demands are too great to avoid. As you say, no one can be the main priority 100% of the time.
Load More Replies... #27
The whole relationship was f****d up but this was the catalyst to end it. I was two hours away in the city for a week for work, and I was busy from 5:30am until 9pm every day so I couldn’t constantly be messaging her. So she pretended to OD on pain pills so she could be sent to the big hospital in that particular city. I still remember receiving the “okay, you can visit me now 🙂” message. Like what the f**k. I’m away for a WEEK. Seven days! And I can’t leave work because I had no transport (we all rode to the complex in a van). Unfortunately for her she was sent to a psych ward and I was able to tell the doctors that she was harassing me so she had her phone taken off her. So she borrowed another patient’s phone and started messaging me on that. After that I told the doctors the whole story and asked to be removed as her emergency contact. She managed to convince a receptionist that she needed to contact me and called me again from a hospital phone. I had to inform the doctors AGAIN and she must have had all phone privileges revoked after that. When I was home and found out she’d been released I messaged her saying it was over. So she rode her moped an HOUR in the dark to come to my house and lied saying a friend had dropped her off and she had no way home so she had to stay (I live in the middle of nowhere). Then she assaulted me physically when I tried to leave the room to get my phone. I managed to throw her on the ground and went and called the cops. When she realised they were on the way she tried to take pills again so after they arrested her she didn’t even spend the night in the cells, she was sent to the hospital and monitored instead. That was pretty much the last contact I had with her bar a few stalker moments and her constant messaging online. I arranged with her friend to drop all her s**t off in a public parking lot during the day and I never replied to her ever again. She had my phone number memorised and would text and call all the time, so I changed my number. I blocked every new account of hers that popped up. I remember that in one of her profile pics she had cut and dyed her hair to the exact same style as mine. She also sent me a request on a dating app with a picture of a celebrity who has the same first name as me, and the name of the dating profile was my cat’s name (he’s named after a Pokémon). It also had her star sign. By that stage I had a Protection Order against her and when I showed an officer the screenshot of the profile she was like “is this girl an idiot?” They must have warned her she was close to being arrested again because she stopped contacting me after that. But it took literal YEARS to get to that point. The great takeaway from the whole thing is that she always dreamed of moving to Australia to work, but with a DV record she won’t even be allowed to enter the country to visit, let alone work.
Jan Bowyer 1 year ago
A mentally deranged stalker does not have the right to ruin someone's life. He didn't cause the problem and does not have to be a victim. He can't fix her, she has to do that herself.
Nykky 1 year ago
Remember people! It is NOT your fault we have mental health issues! It is NOT your fault if you're a good person and leaving, for ANY REASON, and they off themselves! It is OUR responsibility to take care of ourselves! It sucks...I hate having that extra weight on my shoulders, but it is what it is. These people need to understand that too. NO EXCUSES!!!
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I missed the part where she got a domestic violence charge. In this story she only got taken to a hospital twice... I actually feel bad for the woman and hope she got help. Not excusing her behavior AT ALL.
weatherwitch 1 year ago
This is absolutely mental health issues rather than s****y behaviour through never having taken responsibility for yourself. Absolutely horrendous though for the OP 😔
AngelWingsYT 1 year ago
Not excusing the behavior but i genuinely hope she got the help she needed. There are clear signs of mental illness(es) that went greatly unchecked
#28
I used to tuck in my shirts all the time when I was younger cause I like it when my clothes are tight it makes me feel safe.
We were chilling out on his trampoline and he just turns to me and goes “why do you always tuck your shirts in?” And without letting me answer he pinned me down, pulled all the layers I had on up, grabbed my breasts and layed on top of me so I couldn’t move.
I was 16.
Glen Ellyn 1 year ago
😲 Wow. What a ... I can't even think of a word to describe this "person." Oh, yes I can! Plenty of them. Despicable. Contemptible. Vile. Abhorrent. Disgusting. Odious. Execrable. Detestable. Repulsive. Revolting. I'm sure there are more, but that's enough for now.
veryvenasaur 1 year ago
I can't even I hope this guy steps on a lego and right after stubbing his pinky toe on a sofa.
#29
Not my last relationship, but my first serious relationship.
It was our one year anniversary. He brought his dad.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
OP on Reddit gives more details: "This was my FIRST EVER anniversary and I was 17. Obviously I was hormonal and enraged" and "I was going on 18, he was 20 and just home from college for our anniversary. Made ZERO sense to have his dad there."
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That Persistent Lint 1 year ago
Same thing, but he brought his mom because his father was on a business trip and she was "feeling alone".
#30
We were long distance. He slept over, and was leaving the next day. I get home. Bed is unmade. Tags from the new shirt he left on the floor. I don't think he was expecting me to have standards for men. He was used to doing the least he could do to get by. I also don't think he expected it to be over like that.
Black Cat 1 year ago
Glad you decided to ditch him than be his substitute mummy picking up after him.
Ken Beattie 1 year ago
Whenever I read a story like this I have to wonder whether she tried talking to him or it's just "ugh, I'm his maid, dump him". Personally I tend to drop stuff on the floor and don't make the bed intending to tidy up later. But if someone said it really bothered them then it's not hard to change the habit. If she's tried talking with him about it or there's other deeper reasons that they're not saying, then fair enough. But on the face of it, it's a poor reason.
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Nannychachi 1 year ago
Oh. My. Gosh. The amount of grown men who want a mommy to take care of them astounds me! Losers! Every last one of them!
Rae North 1 year ago
Some people are just naturally untidy, couldnt have liked this person to dump over that.
StrangeOne 1 year ago
Yeah, but it is considered disrespectful to leave someone else's home and not pick up and tidy up after one's self. He could've not seen the tag on the floor. It could have fallen onto the floor after he walked by or when he closed the door. He may have felt uncomfortable making her bed if she has a particular method. Some people don't make the bed because mites apparently thrive in a made bed. I do agree it's a bit hasty to break up over that little thing. But I do see how she could be feeling fed up if she's dealt with that kind of sloppiness from other men and is just over it.
Load More Replies... Tina Harnish 1 year ago
I have never, and never will, pick up after anyone that way. If you're sooo lazy...
StrangeOne 1 year ago (edited)
Something I do when I visit my boyfriend's. Now, my current boyfriend is a carer, so housekeeping is something he has to do anyways. (Also, just to add I do like to clean.) I'll start cleaning something that I notice needs to be done. Nothing major, just maybe the windows or something like that. I noticed he will either feel bad that I'm cleaning on my vacation and start cleaning or help me out, or tell me that I don't have to clean and take over. If I let him. (I like the satisfying result of seeing stuff get clean.) Compared to my ex, who would start to "help" me clean for 5 minutes then stop and go trail off onto something else. Even his parents have scolded him about his room when we had first got together as teens. His mom would have to ask me if it was me or him cleaning his room. Usually it was me. I wouldn't continue, though, when I noticed he wasn't helping.
Jasmyn JAY 1 year ago
I don't care to make my bed, BUT THE TAG ON THE FLOOR!!!!! I draw the line!
#31
He was abusive in every single way. Together 11 years….. the day he cheated on me I left. In my mind at the time, it was the only way I could get out without him blaming me…. He still did! I regret every day, not leaving him sooner!
Just me... 1 year ago
Why the hell would you care if he blamed you? He's an a*s on his best day!
day light 1 year ago
when you're in an abusive relationship, to survive, you have to make sure minimal blame is placed on you, especially for something big like... breaking up with your abuser
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#32
I was pregnant and he was really not wanting to work. He finally got a job and worked for three hours before coming home and telling me the job really wasn't "for him." I knew he was never gonna help support the baby or myself and I wouldn't be able to take any time off work after having the kid. Left him like two weeks later at 9 weeks pregnant Edit: he also didn't help around the house at all, didn't cook or clean. Literally just played video games all day long.
Black Cat 1 year ago
I'm guessing you didn't mean to get pregnant because why would anyone want someone so useless to be a father.
Ephemera Image 1 year ago
This is the thing that amazes me: how do you let yourself get pregnant without taking the time to know what your partner will be like to live with as a full partner? And the ones who have two or three and realise they married dirtbags....I have no words for that kind of stupidity. Accidents happen, yes, but by the third time you still don't have a clue?
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Michael Largey 1 year ago
OP had one child about to be born and another who would always be one.
Candace Taylor 1 year ago
I'm sorry I have to ask who gets pregnant by someone like this in the first place?? Wasn't there a lot of signs that he was a complete loser before you getting pregnant?
Megan Contreras 1 year ago
I had one of these! It took me two years to leave six months of that I was deployed though. Caught him video chatting with a woman one night and he had the audacity to yell at me for walking around my own house. I divorced him while deployed, he took our 9 month old son and disappeared for two weeks. Showed up in my hometown and dropped my son off with my parents. Took custody from me (can't do much from Afghanistan) and would pick my son up from my parents when the child support check came in and would drop him back off two days later. He got two checks from me before I stopped that nonsense, funny thing is he never came back for his son as soon as the checks stopped. Showed up late to his own divorce as well. In my defense I was young (18) and dumb. Haven't seen him in 18 years though...soooo
#33
Relationship was on the rocks for about a year, had multiple fights and I considered seriously ending it three times before our final fight. He always wanted me under his thumb at all times so when he told me to leave, which he never allowed me to do during a fight, I took my cat and told him I’m done.
DC 1 year ago
You took the cat. More important than any chiggs or diggs, the cat is! Always! Worst people ... are those telling you to get rid of a pet. NEVER expect them to change, but expect disregard for your pet, and never trust such people, not with kitty, or course not, but also with minor things. People who don't like (other) animals are, usually, full of character flaws and have more red flags rising every day than the KPdSU.
#34
A close family member had just died and he was complaining because he wanted sex. Apparently I was supposed to reward him because he offered to (insisted on) driving me to the funeral??
Learner Panda 1 year ago
I was in this situation. Ex demanded s*x*al "payment every night. Every night. Do you have any idea how boring that is?
#35
I was unable to have a calm and mature conversation about our relationship, expectations, and future. I was shamed for my general curiosity about various subjects (they disliked that I have many interests and hobbies). Just felt uncomfortable and exhausted by their presence and behavior. My feelings for them naturally diminished, and I gave up.
Nannychachi 1 year ago (edited)
I have to be busy. I NEED to sew and crochet and weave and create. And, where is my quiet, unassuming husband during all this? Standing with me at Hobby Lobby while I buy mass amounts of fabric and yarn. Or, listening to me talk about what I'm making next. Or, answering 100 "will this work" questions about an idea that that I have to change something in the house. I asked the other day, "Are you tired of me yet?" Him, "Good heavens, no!"
#36
I had a panic attack and fainted (in a car in a mostly-empty parking lot) and he told me I was embarrassing him.
Kariali 1 year ago
Oh yeah, those guys who make everything being about them. Avoid them like the plague!
B K 1 year ago
Also Avoid women who do the same . Any partner that does this needs to be avoided at all costs!
Load More Replies... Rayne OfSalt 1 year ago
My last ex used to get panic attacks, and ever since i've always carried crunchy sweets, a fidget toy and a small stuffed animal wherever I go. I've found some combination of those 3 always seems to help someone who's having an attack.
#37
He insisted on sleeping with a blanket that had a giant photo of Taylor Swift on it and would make me watch her concert documentaries almost every time we hung out.
There were also multiple women messaging me on social media telling me he was a creep and harassed them which was a major red flag for me.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 1 year ago
It's interesting that the Taylor Swift blanket was the main point and the creeping on other women the side item.
Robin DJW 1 year ago
The blanket probably was not a major factor. Sometimes it's just a straw that breaks the camel's back.
Load More Replies...
sweetrottenpeaches 1 year ago
Wow a male swiftie who is also a creep. IMO all swifties are werird little creeps.
#38
Not my last relationship, but the one before. He neglected me and always made it sound as if my expectations from him were unrealistic, or it would just be my fault I wasn't receiving attention. He also didn't respect me in bed. So the last straw was when I tried to start a fun conversation about foreplay. In short, he got extremely angry, saying he's always been trying to please me, and I should know what he wants without asking him. This time instead of crying myself to sleep, I slept soundly, knowing the guy was definitely addicted to p**n.
Donna Peluda 1 year ago
I got a book on how to improve my foreplay. I started reading it but ended up jumping to the middle.
Tina Harnish 1 year ago
Don't you just love the ones who think their partner should be a mind reader?
day light 1 year ago
I currently have a somewhat strained relationship with my partner because he doesn't respect me in bed either. I tell him "please don't blow air in my cooch" and he does, twice in a row as if I'm a cpr dummy. I request he slows down so I can at least try to get aroused but he doesn't bother. I tell him he's sucking my breasts too hard and it hurts so bad it's making me dizzy, he considers it a compliment and keeps doing it. I tried bringing him into my dilator therapy (I have vaginismus) and even when I was screaming "take it out! take it out! it hurts!" he kept trying to force it, impatiently wanting to get his penis in me. it's completely killed my sexual desire for him but I can't bring up why because he has deep rooted problems with blaming himself. if I mention it, he'll use it to hurt himself over and over and over again and I'll never hear the end of it. I'm not sure what to do, I guess I'm just venting because I can't break up with him due to this either
Rebecka Woods 1 year ago
If he's not pulling out when you tell him to, and that's his habit, he's raping you. Please leave him. There is a fictional book series by Brent Weeks called The Black Prism. One of the characters has vaginismus, and the series spends time describing how her husband treasures her and treats her well. I highly recommend the series. The vaginismus arc is a side story to the main story. I really appreciate the MALE author including it.
Load More Replies...
🦄 Unicorn Princess 1 year ago
Yep, been there. I told him I would never meet his expectations because, I'm not a p**n star and those girls get paid to do all that freaky stuff. He never valued our relationship, to him my feelings were not valid and so many other narsacist behaviors. With lots of therapy I'm slowly learning to love myself again.
Oskar vanZandt 1 year ago
It's interesting when once someone has decided (in their mind) that the relationship isn't what they want that the other person becones "needy"...
Candace Taylor 1 year ago
The guy was definitely addicted to porn?? I'm sorry but by your whole story your conclusion makes no sense whatsoever
#39
We did shrooms and i was like holy s**t i actually hate this guy.
Alexandra 1 year ago
Quite apart from whether you would or wouldn't have come to this conclusion without the shrooms, I don't think an impaired brain should be a basis for life-altering decisions.
Shaun “KAMIKAZE” Kimura 1 year ago (edited)
ingnorance is great... keeps you in your bubble :) just so you know in the future shrooms have been the focus of medical science for years! We could have had a break through in mental health years ago but your thinking has kept it from being studied. Change your persective, nothing looks the same under diffrent lenses... :)
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Robin DJW 1 year ago
I wish I had listened to that tiny weak little voice about my ex before I spent 26 years with him.
Cynthia Adams 1 year ago
Sometimes it only takes a nice psychedelic experience to point out the realities of life. Been there. Loved it. And I'd swear by the experiences.
Chuckle Berry 1 year ago
Cannabis edibles have some effect for me. When I would have edibles w last gf, I could see through her c**p and ultimate selfishness. Married to amazing lady now and she is always w me on either and without partaking other than the fun
Albert Roberts 1 year ago
Yeah this basically happened to me with my current girlfriend who because of a pending disability claim I'm financially dependent on. Of course she complains that I can't work now even though in the past I was and she wasn't for about the same amount of time. I was so uncomfortable around her in this state I had to call th ambulance twice and got taken to the ER but I felt better as soon as I was out the door.
#40
After telling him that he needed to put in time and effort after we went long distance, he came back with..."I'll dedicate time to us when I move back, but not now".
#41
There were already a lot of things about him that bothered me, but I closed my eyes for it. He was very sweet, but I couldn’t level emotionally and he was socially awkward around my friends and family. We spent some days together at my student house and despite being together all the time, I felt so alone. I just wanted to go home to my family really bad. So when I finally went home, I talked with my mom about the situation and for the first time I was completely honest. That was such an eye opener, but I instantly knew there’s nothing my ex could do to fix it. The break up was very hurtful, I had to explain over and over again, and I felt so extremely guilty I sometimes didn’t even know how to live with myself. But I couldn’t have proceeded in the relationship, that would have hurt the both of us even more.
AngelWingsYT 1 year ago
My bf n i both did this. We were both struggling with ourselves so we agreed to take a break to work on ourselves. The break ended up doing us both good. I tried dating again but no one felt right for me. He did the same. After one date did me dirty my at the time exbf found out and came to my rescue...we both talked the rest of the night and opened up about stuff we hadnt before. And in the end we came out stronger n closer from it.
#42
I felt more like her mother than her partner so I ended it.
#43
This guy never said a mean word to me and was so so so funny, but there wasn’t a lot of sexual passion and he was unhygienic. He was also my HS sweetheart of 6 years. I tried to seduce him one night and he made a joke and blew his nose. I just blurted it out that I wanted to break up. It was really hard to get over him and I still have love and respect for him, but it was the right call for us.
#44
I was upstairs laughing with friends online. Instead of asking what was so funny, my ex, downstairs on the couch, turned up the TV so loud so he didn’t have to hear me. Obviously there’s a lot more than that, but it was that defining moment that flipped the switch.
That One 1 year ago
And here I am lowering the sound of my player to make sure my neighbours are not disturbed. =/
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
I feel that - when I was still living at home, my sister used to tell me that I kept our mom awake at night because I was playing video games and talking on voice chat to my friends (my mom's bedroom was right next to my computer room.) The only problem was, that wasn't true. My mom's snoring was SO loud that my friends could hear it through my mic. I wasn't keeping her awake XD I always tried to stay quiet on voice chat or when I played music so I didn't bother my family or the neighbors. No one ever did the same for me XD
Load More Replies... Rebelliousslug 1 year ago
This one seems…ridiculous. If you wanted to share something funny with him just tell him. To get mad that he didn’t ask a question he didn’t know you wanted him to ask is ridiculous.
#45
One normal conversation turned into an argument in public, I couldn't take it anymore so I said I'm going home. So he persuaded me to stay, took me near a cigarette shop and blew smoke right to my face and said "You still want to go ??? Can't you see I need you ??" ( He was trying to reduce his smoking, drinking and d***s habit, had promised me he won't touch them until it's absolutely necessary ). Later he followed me to the the metro station and all while pleading loud enough for others to turn around and look. That day I went home and cried feeling guilty and humiliated. Honestly speaking I did give him an another chance after this incidents but a few months later, this memory was the strongest reason I left him.
Anna Ekberg 1 year ago
Maybe when society stops pushing the role of "the caring person" on women from a very early age? I don't know.
Load More Replies... #46
Instead of letting me enjoy a video game I’m playing for the first time, he kept telling me what to do.
MaggieMay85 1 year ago (edited)
I can’t play video games with other people, I am the jerk that tells you what to do. I’m the problem ☹️
#47
After he farted while I was eating. After a day of hitting on other women, too! This topped off the day before, we were going at it…I was going down on him and he f*****g farted…in my face. Don’t believe I wasn’t doen then. Ya, 2nd time & everything else, I was DONE.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
This is why I don't like people going down on me. I have farted in their faces more than once.....I can't help it, so I avoid it like the plague.
#48
I spent a week asking him over and over again what he wanted for dinner for a romantic dinner that I was preparing (he has a very exquisite palate and likes only basic food) for Saturday night, and he didn't tell me until Saturday afternoon and only because I insisted and got angry. That day he went to eat with his friends and he ate a lot until he burst, so when he arrived at night he wasn't hungry. It turns out that when he told me what he wanted for dinner, I already knew that he wouldn't be hungry at night but he didn't think of me, and he admitted it.
René Sauer 1 year ago
exquisite palate sounds to me more like truffles and wagyu beef, not whatever is considered basic food.
Crystal Spencer 1 year ago
I don't think they understand the meaning of that word.
Load More Replies... Ross “Sarcastic Dad” 1 year ago
"That word you keep using. I do not think it means what you think it means."
weatherwitch 1 year ago
I think you mean Limited palate, exquisite implies rich foods the majority can't afford.... Also I hope you dumped his a**e immediately...
#49
Me talking about my disturbing hallucinations and him being dismissive and neglecting my feelings. Somewhere in my messed up brain, I thought ”why, aren’t you a rude piece of s**t?”.
Event horizon 1 year ago
and so now I'm wondering if the hallucinations stopped when she broke up with this ăṧṥ𝘩⚨ŀę
Load More Replies... #50
I realized i could have the exact same relationship with someone else and be happy. i didn’t need him.
ElfVibratorGlitter 1 year ago
I think she/he/they was saying that she/he/they could have a similar relationship with someone else and actually be happy versus the relationship currently in. Maybe? Maybe not?
Deborah B 1 year ago
It's like being happy enough with your co-workers, or your flatmates, or teammates, or neighbours. Nothing wrong with them, but they're completely replacable with anyone who isn't obnoxious. There's just nothing that makes you want to be friends, or makes you miss them when they're gone. Don't you want to feel enough for a partner that they're not just a replaceable "not obnoxious so we get on fine" in your life?
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MeowMix 1 year ago
My ex's dad passed away unexpectedly and I gave him all the love and support I knew how to try and get him through it. Then a couple weeks later my brother passed away (he had cancer, so not unexpected, but I was still devastated) and when I told my ex he said "oh, I'm sorry" and walked away. Never said a word about his death ever again. I knew at that moment he really didn't love me at all and I started making plans to leave. Luckily I'm now married to the sweetest, most loving man in the world.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
When she told me, explicitly, how much better than me the guy she was cheating on me with. Found out from two different sources two weeks later, she was engaged to be married. To a third guy. That was my first relationship, and the second worst I ever had.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
It's over for me. I asked him twice to get his drinking under control. And he just sneaks around acting like I don't see it. I do. But I'm done bothering him. He wants to self destruct that's on him. It's mostly he gets home before me an drinks then jumps in the shower to "sober" up when I get in. But I can tell by how he talks and acts. Or doesn't have time to cook dinner an throws some s**t together that is disgusting to make it look like he spent time on it. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Drinking. Not Monday as I'm off an he can't sneak it. Then either Tuesday and Wednesday sneaking drinks or and combo of days I work later than him.
Jan Bowyer 1 year ago
I speak from experience when I say getting away from an alcoholic who doesn't have a desire to be helped is the only way to deal, unless you want your life to be ruined.
Load More Replies...
jasper 1 year ago
Ex said he was gaming w/a friend and would be home the next day. He did this from time to time, didn't think much of it until he didn't answer his phone and I was having a minor emergency, so I called his friend. He went really quiet and said ex had not been there - and then told me to talk to ex because, while he didn't want to get involved, there was something else going on. I immediately knew what and with whom. I confronted her, and she lied about it. Her friend who had been in the same room, called me later and said the girl lied about it, that she had seen them together. I immediately packed up his stuff and dropped it on her front porch. Ex came home after work and told me he didn't want to break up. I said, what, you want to date us both until you decide who you like best? (Mind you, we had been together 2 years and had casually talked about getting married.) He told me yes, I told him to get out. That was that. I heard they got each other fired from their workplace.
Veronica Jean 1 year ago
Long distance. He would say he was serious, promise to visit, and party the money away. Blew me off multiple times. Insisted I needed to move in with him (would have to quit my job, never see my family again, put my pets up for adoption) instead of the other way around (He would get a lot of money from selling his property. Just property, no house on it. Also, he grew up in my neighborhood so him moving in with me would bring him closer to everybody he knew). I finally agreed and two days later, he guilt ridden confesses the SCORES of women/men he's been cheating with in multiple states. I didn't say a word except to ask why. He has had a fantasy about sleeping with me since he was a teen and knew I was waiting. He thought he could wear me down and then disappear. It was beyond over. Oh man I could tell stories about his abuse for hours....
James Latimer 1 year ago
I started dating someone and things were going well at first. After a little bit I started noticing how we never got together on the weeks I had my daughter. I asked her about this and she got defensive, so I dropped it. Fast forward a bit and the three of us went to an event at a local arena. My daughter and I got the silent treatment most of the day and when I asked questions, I got one word answers. When I brought her home all she said was "thanks for the ride". Driving home I was resolved to end it. When I got home she asked what was going on. In the ensuing discussion, I told her I wanted to take a break (not break up). She then lashed out, saying I wasn't a real man and that I was hiding behind my daughter. When I then made it clear that this was no longer a break, but a break up, she then told me that she was going to start drinking again because of me. I got the hell away from her as fast as possible.
Angela C 1 year ago
Good, she would have tried to push your daughter out of your life if you'd stayed together
Load More Replies...
Violet Radar 1 year ago
My last ex told me if I didn't like being called a b***h, we had no business being together. A couple days later he said "I can't believe you think this is worth breaking up over".
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
verbal abuse is definitely a reason to break up.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
I never thought of myself as much of a catch...then I read things like this, and I feel so much better about myself.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
better single and safe and free than trapped with a psycho like me.
Load More Replies... Nykky 1 year ago
For me was when I was on the phone with him at one point, and he was loud enough that I had my phone away from my ear. When I saw the face of the guy in the room with me at that time, my friend's ex who was acting like a manchild to her, and how he looked...almost terrified, I was like "yep. This is it." He didn't start that way. It was gradual. But all of the obsessive need to talk to me, contacting my friends at work when I didn't respond within a minute to his texts, saying he didn't need a psychologist because I was going into psychology, and always telling me his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for some bid d**k, it was just like...I hated it by the end. And lo and behold, I thought on it for a little bit to find out I'm aroace! I left him for literally nothing and couldn't be happier!
The Doom Song 1 year ago
My ex cheated on me. I knew exactly when it happened coz they came hone and I found them sitting in the hallway crying at 3am. I simply asked "is there someone else?" And got no answer just more crying. I knew at that point it was over
MeowMix 1 year ago
My ex's dad passed away unexpectedly and I gave him all the love and support I knew how to try and get him through it. Then a couple weeks later my brother passed away (he had cancer, so not unexpected, but I was still devastated) and when I told my ex he said "oh, I'm sorry" and walked away. Never said a word about his death ever again. I knew at that moment he really didn't love me at all and I started making plans to leave. Luckily I'm now married to the sweetest, most loving man in the world.
Doctor Strange 1 year ago
When she told me, explicitly, how much better than me the guy she was cheating on me with. Found out from two different sources two weeks later, she was engaged to be married. To a third guy. That was my first relationship, and the second worst I ever had.
Mad McQueen 1 year ago
It's over for me. I asked him twice to get his drinking under control. And he just sneaks around acting like I don't see it. I do. But I'm done bothering him. He wants to self destruct that's on him. It's mostly he gets home before me an drinks then jumps in the shower to "sober" up when I get in. But I can tell by how he talks and acts. Or doesn't have time to cook dinner an throws some s**t together that is disgusting to make it look like he spent time on it. Friday. Saturday. Sunday. Drinking. Not Monday as I'm off an he can't sneak it. Then either Tuesday and Wednesday sneaking drinks or and combo of days I work later than him.
Jan Bowyer 1 year ago
I speak from experience when I say getting away from an alcoholic who doesn't have a desire to be helped is the only way to deal, unless you want your life to be ruined.
Load More Replies... jasper 1 year ago
Ex said he was gaming w/a friend and would be home the next day. He did this from time to time, didn't think much of it until he didn't answer his phone and I was having a minor emergency, so I called his friend. He went really quiet and said ex had not been there - and then told me to talk to ex because, while he didn't want to get involved, there was something else going on. I immediately knew what and with whom. I confronted her, and she lied about it. Her friend who had been in the same room, called me later and said the girl lied about it, that she had seen them together. I immediately packed up his stuff and dropped it on her front porch. Ex came home after work and told me he didn't want to break up. I said, what, you want to date us both until you decide who you like best? (Mind you, we had been together 2 years and had casually talked about getting married.) He told me yes, I told him to get out. That was that. I heard they got each other fired from their workplace.
Veronica Jean 1 year ago
Long distance. He would say he was serious, promise to visit, and party the money away. Blew me off multiple times. Insisted I needed to move in with him (would have to quit my job, never see my family again, put my pets up for adoption) instead of the other way around (He would get a lot of money from selling his property. Just property, no house on it. Also, he grew up in my neighborhood so him moving in with me would bring him closer to everybody he knew). I finally agreed and two days later, he guilt ridden confesses the SCORES of women/men he's been cheating with in multiple states. I didn't say a word except to ask why. He has had a fantasy about sleeping with me since he was a teen and knew I was waiting. He thought he could wear me down and then disappear. It was beyond over. Oh man I could tell stories about his abuse for hours....
James Latimer 1 year ago
I started dating someone and things were going well at first. After a little bit I started noticing how we never got together on the weeks I had my daughter. I asked her about this and she got defensive, so I dropped it. Fast forward a bit and the three of us went to an event at a local arena. My daughter and I got the silent treatment most of the day and when I asked questions, I got one word answers. When I brought her home all she said was "thanks for the ride". Driving home I was resolved to end it. When I got home she asked what was going on. In the ensuing discussion, I told her I wanted to take a break (not break up). She then lashed out, saying I wasn't a real man and that I was hiding behind my daughter. When I then made it clear that this was no longer a break, but a break up, she then told me that she was going to start drinking again because of me. I got the hell away from her as fast as possible.
Angela C 1 year ago
Good, she would have tried to push your daughter out of your life if you'd stayed together
Load More Replies... Violet Radar 1 year ago
My last ex told me if I didn't like being called a b***h, we had no business being together. A couple days later he said "I can't believe you think this is worth breaking up over".
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
verbal abuse is definitely a reason to break up.
Load More Replies... Apatheist Account2 1 year ago
I never thought of myself as much of a catch...then I read things like this, and I feel so much better about myself.
censorshipsucks 1 year ago
better single and safe and free than trapped with a psycho like me.
Load More Replies... Nykky 1 year ago
For me was when I was on the phone with him at one point, and he was loud enough that I had my phone away from my ear. When I saw the face of the guy in the room with me at that time, my friend's ex who was acting like a manchild to her, and how he looked...almost terrified, I was like "yep. This is it." He didn't start that way. It was gradual. But all of the obsessive need to talk to me, contacting my friends at work when I didn't respond within a minute to his texts, saying he didn't need a psychologist because I was going into psychology, and always telling me his biggest fear was that I'd leave him for some bid d**k, it was just like...I hated it by the end. And lo and behold, I thought on it for a little bit to find out I'm aroace! I left him for literally nothing and couldn't be happier!
The Doom Song 1 year ago
My ex cheated on me. I knew exactly when it happened coz they came hone and I found them sitting in the hallway crying at 3am. I simply asked "is there someone else?" And got no answer just more crying. I knew at that point it was over
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