Mother's day is this weekend! So it's time for Jimmy Fallon's hashtag challenge #MomQuotes, an ode to all the awesome moms out there, and a reminder of how hilariously entertaining they can be!
From clever observations, puns and the lamest jokes, to embarrassing situations and accidentally inappropriate comments, people once again delivered with some hugely entertaining mom-ents from our beloved mothers.
We here at Bored Panda have compiled a list of our favorites, which we humbly present for your entertainment. So you thought your mom was a little weird sometimes? Scroll down below to see what kind of weird, wonderful and amazing moms are out there, and don't forget to upvote your favorites!
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When I was little my parents would say "Who's your favorite parent?" and I'd always say 'Ashley".....Ashley is my best friend's dad XD
My Moms recommendation to raising kids - Bury them at 11 dig them up at 18. She had no favorites!
A friend of mine blamed it on the opening times of Kindergarten. Deliver them aged 3, pick them up aged 18 and then throw them out :)
Load More Replies...That way no one gets their feelings hurt. But it would have been even funnier if she'd said a completely random name-- one that wasn't the 'neighbor's kid.' They'd be left wondering a whole lifetime who in the heck "so-and-so" was, hahahah!!
To quote my mom, or my mom quoting someone else,"A mother's love is not divided among her children. It's mutiplied." I love you, Mom. God Bless You.
Aw, lovely sense of humour! Wonderful after what she'd been through.
Meh, whats a bit of brain surgery!?! TIME TO PRANK THE HUSBAND!!! LMAO!!
I’m glad she got out safe, and she was happy enough to try out a prank!!
Awwww, that's so cute and funny! I'm sure he really DID forgive her for it, he's just keeping up appearances to jive her back. Very sweet!! <3
Truly hope you're right Molly. It's heartbreaking if didn't & isn't playing back.
Load More Replies...If she did that to me I would of answered her! Then laugh my butt off.
OMG!!!! BAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATELY HILARIOUS!!! (a woman after my own heart!!)
My mom used to say something like "please give me patience oh Saint Herodes" (that guy who killed lots of children trying to kill baby Jesus, don't know his name in english)
thats old, came from a rosanne episode.
Load More Replies...It's a great line but it's actually a line from the movie, "Mildred Pierce". Eve Arden says it
and also willing to compare me to someone no matter what
Load More Replies...That is exactly the type of thing my mum would come out with. No sense to it at all!!
Not sure about those "three square meals" a day, unless she means they are served on a square serving plate!! LOL!! And trust me, they are!
LOl - Mom visiting my sister in jail was so flattered when a man also visiting asked if she would let him be her pimp.
misunderstanding that streamed media isn't a one at a time think like borrowing a physical movie from the library
Load More Replies...This melts my heart. The fact that moms are like this is so funny to me!
Ah, those days when the video shop only has 1 copy of a film you want to see. This used to be real life, kids!
We all know what "stuff" is! Mums not that dumb! 😉
Load More Replies...From now on, "getting each other's mail" means handling each other's envelope or package ;-) Pass it on.
80?? Your Mum looks INCREDIBLE for 80! I was thinking late fifties perhaps...
80, wow! I hate the phrase "looks good for their age", but she looks amazing nonetheless
super. hope she doesn't kill anyone. My mom was 73 and killed two poor individuals because she shouldn't have been driving.
They took it away. She’s getting an ID, not a license
Load More Replies...Well, she's right to some extent with these dumb fashion tendencies nowadays... I'm also stealing this one :D
I just laughed inappropriately loud because of this!!! Gorgeous!<3
Lol I said that to my cousin once. I was jealous as a kid that my mom was saying how pretty his light brown eyes are and I said "his eyes are poo colored! >:("
hopefully the mom knew the correct use of your and you're, cause the kid sure as hell doesn't
I actually laughed out loud in the middle of English class. When everyone was working. And it was silent. I got my work done though and I'm bored, so um... I guess that's what they made BoredPanda for 😂
Historically speaking that's like, the least offensive thing people have used the Bible to murder.
Hahaha, Christianity rolls on. Sorry, I know this will be super downvoted, but that's fine, I'm being playful, bring it.
I will choose Loki. He will say something sarcastic and witty, probably pull a trick or two. .... .... And then he will let me die! Oh he is my sweet.
Reminds me of when a coworker came in and said he ran into some black ice on the way into work, and another coworker asked him if he stopped and called the police. She thought he said he ran into some black guys.
Hahaha! I once got wrong off my mam for leaving the lid off a tub of Vicks and letting all the vapour out!
Once i told my mom thatbher phone has a bug., and she start dturn off her phone and remove the battery and said where is the bug? U hsve to explain that its not a real "bug" but virus kind of bug :|:|
Michael Scott: "she likes her steak like her men!" (uncomfortable pause)
And there is their sister, Las Vegas. Guess what happened in Vegas couldn't just stay in Vegas.
Or if conceived at the Hilton Hotel in Paris, France, her name would've been...Paris Hilton?
By that logic, sounds like the conceived your sister IN an Aspen tree, rather than the city...:-P
HAHA we named our daughter Ford bc her daddy likes Fords. When she gets older I may use this joke on her!
Ha! I have a cat named Aspen :) Animal control picked him up at his namesake apartment complex.
I knew a kid who almost got named Avis thanks to his brother--thankfully he was named Chris instead.
That makes no sense without the explanation of the backstory or inside joke...
Load More Replies...why is this funny. almost 90% of the english speaking world has uttered this...
Had to explain to my mom that a "bootie call" was not the same thing as a "butt dial"...
I explained what ‘XD’ over text mean. She thought it was an orgasm face..
Where does she get roofie from selfie? Oh well, moms, you gotta love 'em
my mom wanted to name her cat "Spooge". I had to talk her out of it
This is what happens when your mom watches Spongebob a thousand million times with you.
My Dad used to say after 5 kids its like tossing a shoe into the coliseum- Mom said she peed in 5 different directions LOL
She was saying she got a little screwed? Ok mom, let's not go there..lol
Craigslist personal ads are the best for local gardening services. Or not!
“Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -Dumbledore
I'm not trying to drag this down or anything, but if your grandmother is starting to show the early signs of dementia, start dropping things from your schedule and spend as much time with her as you can. Every day I feel as if I wasn't there for her enough.
I think I read somewhere that when you eats watermelon during pregnancy you will have girl/female child
Even harder when you realise that she was COMPLETELY SOBER
Load More Replies...When all your friends have gotten theirs and you're still waiting? I was close to 14 before I got mine, my daughter was only 12.
Load More Replies...The first could lead to the second but the second will never lead to the first!
I've seen your house in the background of your submission pics. Glass houses.
Load More Replies...My mom always jokingly says (after hurting me accidentally) "Well, you deserved it" 😂
That's the kind of loving remark my mother used to come out with. Yeah, I have problems.
I'll have to use that next time my husband puts his purse pants on lmao
Speaking of Biblical knowledge, he didn't really "live twice" in canon anyway. At least not in any significant way. He was just around for a few days before getting beamed up to Heaven.
Load More Replies...That last sentence made you twice as terrifying.
Load More Replies...I personally don’t believe in jesus, or god or the bible in general but I can still appreciate the humor in this tweet, and i’m not gonna make the comments section into a religious argument. It’s a separate topic.
Load More Replies...What, so she wasn't really wishing grievous bodily harm upon your person?!
When my parents had Netflix, my dad used to send back the crappy scratched ones with a post-it that said NG "No Good" on it. I can only imagine the annoyed staff at the warehouse having to pick them off each disc. We now say NG, slap a post-it on it!"
Phew! If she thought for a second it could also be jerk chicken, we'd might have to settle for Björk.
There's a huge difference between beef and pork, even frozen. O.o... if you can't tell one from the other, you probably don't need to be anywhere near the kitchen.
Mom: What does, Idk, gtg, and ly mean? Me: I don't know, got to go, love you. Mom: Fine, I'll ask your sister then.
Sort of like when we set the wifi router password to ”secret”...there was no end of confusion there.
Load More Replies...I apologize for bringing this up but this person shouldn't set foot I Portugal as 'Mija' in Portuguese is the cuss for pee 😂
legit did this with "IDK" whenever i would ask they would answer " i dont know" and i would say NO ONE DOES. short forms and i don't get along.
That should have her up and at 'em in no time! Like vibrating daughter (#18) above :-o
Thinking the site may be "closed" doesn't make her stupid, it just means she doesn't understand the internet.
Load More Replies...My mom would never say that to me, she doesn't want me getting any ideas. 😂
BTW s**t floats only if you eat a lot of fats. If you have a good diet, it sinks.
yeah our Mom went with "none of you are so sweet you're gonna melt in the rain; s**t just lumps"
MOM QUOTE- I WENT TO DENVER CO FOR A SCOOL TRIP. MUM SAID TO BRING BACK SUVINEERS. DAD SAID(JOKINGLY) BRING BACK SOME WEED. MUM SAID- DO NOT BRING WEED BACK, YOU GOTTA SMOKE IT ON THE SPOT GEFORE THE HOMEES GET YA.
Me too, like totally hate trinket..they either filled my drawers, my shelves, or collecting dust on display...my mom and I got rid of them when I started high schooll..
My uncle was even more terse: If you can't eat it, can't use it. Munchables only, m'kay!
Oof, I feel bad for people who say stuff without knowing what it means and then end up embarrassing themselves...
Not all bad. A threesome could as well be any set of three, like a musical trio; just some folks only understand the sexual connotation. Perverts!
Load More Replies...Don't forget the one that is mentioned in this post, Facebook!
Load More Replies...Which is what I have to bite my tongue not to say whenever I meet anyone out of context!
There was an MOD policeman who saved up that line for 5 months til a coach load of nuns were visiting the naval base ( HMS Victory etc) as I passed him during a post round. I cycled into work in cut off jeans and t shirt then changed into office attire. He was so glad he waited.
She said "talking about it", not talking while doing it.
Load More Replies...Hey, what? If it's Sam's mum on the phone she'll surely already know how old Sam's brother, her son, is.
Yeah, IF. But it's actually Mad's mom. So I think it's an overheard conversation. PLUS: Who said she's the mom of Sam AND the brother? Perhaps they just have the same father...
Load More Replies...I used to attend motocross races as a track marshal. There was a doctor, that when there was an accident, he walked there in slow pace, in flip flops, with only a plastic bottle of water, regardless of seriousness of the situation or injury. We called him "Doctor Water". He was baned eventually from these events due to such life threatening negligence. There is problem, when such moms teach at med schools :-)
I DO THIS!! Or the other one oh well it's probably bc your tired maybe you should take a nap lol
"You'll be fine," and "You don't need stitches". EVENTUALLY, I was fine. At least once, I SHOULD have had stitches.
That’s genuinely awesome, but kind of sad that “head of the house” is still a term...
What's wrong with the term "head of the house" ?
Load More Replies...That's all good, but still need a trunk to wear the pants and limbs to take out the trash.
I think it's a saying that's been around a while. But yes it was in that movie.
Load More Replies...hey it okay to fart at a certian age while doing yoga everyone kinda does besides they just have air freshener plugged in they always say everyone farts in church because the know they dont have to confess it in church in public
Load More Replies...I guess that rules out movies with Sinéad O'Connor's former loverboy with the kneecaps, so we're on a roll!
@Alex K & the talking booze, sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender identity is much more complex than just male or female.
And anyway, "bisexual" refers to sexual orientation, not gender identity.
Load More Replies...Science: Physically, humans don't always have clearly identifiable male or female genitalia, might have internal reproductive organs differing from their external genitalia, and might even have chromosomal arrangements other than the common XX or XY. Human hormones are not always produced in the typical quantities for a male or female. Neurologically, variances in the human brain, hormonal levels and other factors lead us to our gender identity. Historically, numerous cultures have wisely identified and accepted persons whose gender identity does not match the appearance of their external genitalia. God has created a wondrous and diverse world. It is a sign of ignorance to deny God's creation and try to force people to deny acceptance of themselves as how God made them to conform to some narrow-minded idea of what gender is.
Load More Replies...I am also invested in the lives of the neighborhood water fowl. They're very interesting.
I think it very much depends on the context and the relationship between child & parent.
Load More Replies...I have to be the only teenager not embarrassed by my parents... Was singing along with a grateful dead song with my dad on the way to school with the windows open ha ha
Then your parents need to work harder at it. It's part of our job description to embarrass our kids :)
Load More Replies...IMTAKINTHISHORSEBYTHEREINSMAKINREDCOATSREDDERWITHBLOODSTAINSLaFaYeTtE
ANDIMNEVERGONNASTOPUNTILIMAKEEMDROPANDTEARTHEMUPANDSCATTERTHEREMAINSIMLaFaYeTtE
Load More Replies...When you start hitting second puberty, your parents become your friends. Because you all want the same thing. For instance, I used to go to the bar and parties ALL THE TIME. Hell if it was my day off, and I hadn't gotten drunk or had sex, I'd get cabin fever. Every 4th of July I would go with my parents to a beach town and hour from is, or into the downtown area of a college town. I would take off towards the end of the night, come back for fireworks, and then leave with friends. I'd stay out all night because I was too energetic to go home at 11 on with them in my early twenties, we would argue and I would basically say f**k off, and leave. I'm almost 29 now. Last year we went to that beach town. I didn't go anywhere except the water, the bathroom, and our blanket, I stayed with my parents, ate some pot brownies, pizza, chips, and drank beer. We got home at 1 a.m. and I passed out. This year will be the exact same 😂😁
I love it when my dad sings opera. I know the neighbors will be annoyed :))
It depends on whether or not the biker in question should have been in a marked bike-lane. I've also surprised a number of people in my Prius, at low speeds, they don't even know there is anyone behind them.
Load More Replies...I have only ever heard the exact phrase "Well, that's fantastic" used sarcastically. So, I would probably still feel insulted when I found out what she thought it meant.
Just so you know -- there are chocolate (tea)pots, and they are very collectable and valuable.
Pretty sure she means a teapot made out of chocolate. Which would melt all over your table if you poured hot water en it.
Load More Replies...That's quite a common simile in the UK to mean someone is utterly useless!
But my mum always said I was as much use as a fart in a colander!
Load More Replies...Also the premise of the Nicolas Cage & Selma Blair movie "Mom & Dad." Watch it if you know what's bad for you! momdad-5af...25784c.jpg
I drove my ex crazy saying "I'm fixin' to" He was like, "What does that even mean?"
Load More Replies...I wasn't allowed to complain or criticize the food. If I chose not to eat what was prepared, I could fix my own meal.
Yup,heard it..not from my mom cz I and my brother get something more like 'you won't starve if you just eat slower/leave some for other'
Fix? Odd word for cooking. I find 'make some eggs' funny - you mean cook or are you really going to make the eggs. Language barriers... :o)
The good SIL answer 'it's a toe of the famous desert animal' 😜😜
My mom mishears pop songs all the time. A few months ago she did that with "Attention" by Charlie Puth; she thought the lyrics "Throwing that dirt all around my name" were "Throwing that turtle on my knee". I'll never hear anything else.
I don't know if it's still there but there used to be a huge Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street
Sadly no more megastores. There are some HMVs though.
Load More Replies...I knew several teenage moms and dads whose parents didn't properly discuss reproduction with them. You can easily get pregnant without seeing a phallus.
Sounds like what we will be using after we locate other intelligent being outside our planet.
lol. When my husbands dad had "the talk" with him it consisted of his dad saying, "Get all while you can because when you get old it doesn't happen anymore." That was "the talk" lol
I hate being accused of shouting when I've got way more volume to go.
Somewhere, there is a Bullfrog with an inferiority complex now... :(
Load More Replies...My mom has 5 of us, all girls. When I was around 11 (the youngest) someone asked my my mom "How do you do it?" Her response " Bury them at 11 and dig them up when they are 18" Totally understood when my daughter turned 13.
Another mom, upon hearing of a relative's passing, once texted LOL thinking it meant "lots of love." Oh well.
Uhhh Steve isn't the one who came up with that. Maybe he popularized it but I was saying that when I was a freshman. In 2004.
My mom actually acts quite equally to me. My dad though likes to interrupt saying "No, no you're wrong, no" I want to f*****g smack him when he does that. Like if I have kids, and he decides to take them to go do something without asking me this is how it would go. "Dad he's 5. He's not ready to do paint ball" "Oh he's fine" "No dad he is not your child and you will ask me next time you want to do something like this and you will do as I say because he is my child and I know what's best for him" "NO NO ...NO...NO....NO.. YOU'RE WRONG HE'S FINE" "No he's not dad" "Nope... No" That will happen I can guarantee it. And I will have no problem with looking him straight in the eye and enforcing what rules I have for my child if my dad wants to see his grandkids.
That must be so bloody annoying!! Good for you for sticking to your way of doing things.
Load More Replies...I can hear her laughing... my mother told me the same "I hope your son will be as exhausting as you were!"
My mum said that - so I didn't have kids. (Not the only reason but it's on the list... maybe near the end)
Actually, you'd have a head start on a making sure your daughter isn't a c**t.
I had a horrible cup of coffee from a local Starbucks once - that would have busted some blocks.
In germany we call ALL baby birds "Küken". Unfortunately many people write "Kücken" and that makes me mad...
The only time we Germans create something easy in our language :-D
Load More Replies...My Mom too! I still do not know what that means- Don't love a man just cuz he has money? Give the poor guy a chance cuz everyone is picking the rich guy? Don't be intimidated by a successful man or feel unworthy? For God's sake do not get involved with a man who can't support you??? I wish she spelled it out. When I divorced- I had to pay alimony for a year!
I think it means if you have to choose and all other things being equal, pick the guy with more money
Load More Replies...My mom said that until i joined the Navy. Then she said, "It's just as easy to marry an Admiral as an Ensign."
maybe, but rich men usually marry rich women
Mom didn't say money should be the only factor. Also, I think "gold digger" implies depending on the guy for money, and she didn't say the daughter shoudn't have money of her own.
Load More Replies...My Mother keeps asking me what her phone number is. When I asked her how come she didn't know she said "well I didn't think I'd need to memorise it I mean I'm hardly going to need it to call myself am I?"
I'm my moms IT support, even at 34, so this is kindof par for the course
No, have you been hanging around female dogs recently? Because that's how you became a b***h.
I love this one, she probably forgot what day it was !!
Load More Replies...We don't have in and out here so idk what either style is in the fry talk :(
It gives you extra sauce and grilled onions mixed w/ the cheese
Load More Replies...When I worked in the produce department at a local grocery store I'd get at least one person a week asking where the guacamoles were...
Doesn't twitter have punctuation? I could have sworn twitter had punctuation.
I haven't been to the ocean often.... Red flag means too windy/ too big of waves right?
The saying is better safe than sorry here in England .
Load More Replies...My mum always said: "Be good. And if you can't be good, be careful. And if you can't be careful, buy a pram"!
😂😂😂😂 I dont know why this made me laugh so hard but I cant stop it
Its from an old radio serial... I can't remember the name though... this is going to bug me
It's annoying like the german "Dings", right? Like "Hey, ich war heute bei Dings." WHAT?
That's why I always say Dingenskirchen, way more specific 😉
Load More Replies...I never understood why the f**k men need urinals. You ain't got one in your house so why you can't you just pee in the toilet when you're outside?
As a cleaner, it's much nicer to have urinals...the boys seem to aim better and the toilets stay cleaner along with the floors!
Load More Replies...What? Now your belly button bullies you? Bad belly button, shame on you!
My bf can't either... Didn't know there was a name for it, thank you
Load More Replies...My mum used to tell me sitting on cold walls gives you haemorrhoids...
She and her Mom seem to have a great relationship based on how her Mom replied. You seem very judgmental. What's wrong in your world?
Load More Replies...It appears to be in a Caesar Salad - that would be green...
Load More Replies...Hopefully you call her each time after she texts you that message, because otherwise you blatantly ignoring your mother for days like that is really crappy of you!
Or it was her texting her mother, and her mother was ignoring her for three days...
Load More Replies...When I was 16 I went to live with my grandmother, who grew up on a dairy farm in Arkansas. She used to write up a grocery list & she knew I was from NY and liked bagels, so she'd put "bagoes" on the grocery list. I of course tried to tell her that it was "bageL", not "bagOE". Her reply was a simple "well that's how I spell it." My 16 year old brain was smart enough, even at that age, to think "well, I respect this woman; she's earned the right to call it a bagoe if she wants to call it a bagoe." And that was the end of that.
Me too, I recently lost mine to lung cancer a year ago--she didn't smoke.
Load More Replies...My Mum used to say that if i cleaned my room as a teen, once she came home and my friends and i decided to mow the lawn (in the 80s we were so fashion doing it too) she drove up, stopped before the driveway and rolled down the window and asked if I knew where her house was.
Load More Replies...My mom was telling a story at dinner one night and called someone in the story a real "schmuck". My dad asked her if she knew what schmuck meant and she replied : Of course I do, it means jerk." My dad: No honey, actually it means penis. My mom: oh god, oh god, oh god. I called so and so a schmuck, and this guy a schmuck, and that guy etc.... Guess they should have thought Yiddish at conversion class in addition to Judaism!
Not an insult but my mom once told me she wanted to see the tower of Big Ben. She forgot the name of the Eiffel Tower and improvised. She's cute i love her LOL
My mum asked me where she souks but a "decent joint" (of meat she means) but she was quite open to asking the staff for good joint (..again, of meat..)
mum - "I never trust a man with a moustache" - my husband who i had been married to for 15 years- and had the same mustache all along was sat there
My mother yelled at me for using the wrong size pot on a burner her reply everybody knows that my response Who did u f****n survey
Me too, I recently lost mine to lung cancer a year ago--she didn't smoke.
Load More Replies...My Mum used to say that if i cleaned my room as a teen, once she came home and my friends and i decided to mow the lawn (in the 80s we were so fashion doing it too) she drove up, stopped before the driveway and rolled down the window and asked if I knew where her house was.
Load More Replies...My mom was telling a story at dinner one night and called someone in the story a real "schmuck". My dad asked her if she knew what schmuck meant and she replied : Of course I do, it means jerk." My dad: No honey, actually it means penis. My mom: oh god, oh god, oh god. I called so and so a schmuck, and this guy a schmuck, and that guy etc.... Guess they should have thought Yiddish at conversion class in addition to Judaism!
Not an insult but my mom once told me she wanted to see the tower of Big Ben. She forgot the name of the Eiffel Tower and improvised. She's cute i love her LOL
My mum asked me where she souks but a "decent joint" (of meat she means) but she was quite open to asking the staff for good joint (..again, of meat..)
mum - "I never trust a man with a moustache" - my husband who i had been married to for 15 years- and had the same mustache all along was sat there
My mother yelled at me for using the wrong size pot on a burner her reply everybody knows that my response Who did u f****n survey
