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Mother's day is this weekend! So it's time for Jimmy Fallon's hashtag challenge #MomQuotes, an ode to all the awesome moms out there, and a reminder of how hilariously entertaining they can be!

From clever observations, puns and the lamest jokes, to embarrassing situations and accidentally inappropriate comments, people once again delivered with some hugely entertaining mom-ents from our beloved mothers.

We here at Bored Panda have compiled a list of our favorites, which we humbly present for your entertainment. So you thought your mom was a little weird sometimes? Scroll down below to see what kind of weird, wonderful and amazing moms are out there, and don't forget to upvote your favorites!

#1

Mom Quotes

JesseBetts11 Report

SnowyLynx
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Rip, it’s always that sweet kid down the street

Maci Wilcox
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was little my parents would say "Who's your favorite parent?" and I'd always say 'Ashley".....Ashley is my best friend's dad XD

Yoo Jin Na
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My mom says "Happy." She's our dog who died 4 years ago...

Kelly Horrigan
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Moms recommendation to raising kids - Bury them at 11 dig them up at 18. She had no favorites!

Jörg Zingler
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A friend of mine blamed it on the opening times of Kindergarten. Deliver them aged 3, pick them up aged 18 and then throw them out :)

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Molly Block
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That way no one gets their feelings hurt. But it would have been even funnier if she'd said a completely random name-- one that wasn't the 'neighbor's kid.' They'd be left wondering a whole lifetime who in the heck "so-and-so" was, hahahah!!

Jennifer Schartz
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mine said, "I don't particularly like any of you."

Nathaniel Bong
Community Member
7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

To quote my mom, or my mom quoting someone else,"A mother's love is not divided among her children. It's mutiplied." I love you, Mom. God Bless You.

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    #2

    Mom Quotes

    AmberThroesch Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Aw, lovely sense of humour! Wonderful after what she'd been through.

    Melody Lanzatella
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, whats a bit of brain surgery!?! TIME TO PRANK THE HUSBAND!!! LMAO!!

    Mary Sears
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’m glad she got out safe, and she was happy enough to try out a prank!!

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Clever mom, love her sense of humor.

    Molly Block
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Awwww, that's so cute and funny! I'm sure he really DID forgive her for it, he's just keeping up appearances to jive her back. Very sweet!! <3

    layne
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truly hope you're right Molly. It's heartbreaking if didn't & isn't playing back.

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    MissNiki Hartman
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She saw an opportunity & she took it. 👏😂

    Pattie Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she did that to me I would of answered her! Then laugh my butt off.

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    #3

    Mom Quotes

    partyfowles Report

    Melody Lanzatella
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG!!!! BAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATELY HILARIOUS!!! (a woman after my own heart!!)

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    On that basis jenny should pick out the pillows and headboard too!

    Bryan Chavis
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when I came out my mom said the same thing to my bf

    Wade Lewis
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Cleary mom has been out of the game!

    Maya Ayeis
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    how to wreck your son's sexuality... yeah!!

    Pattie Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "After turning beat red I turned around and walked away"

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    #4

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    abaldguytweets Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn, cannibalistic mom. That’s lovely...

    Adrián Sanabria
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom used to say something like "please give me patience oh Saint Herodes" (that guy who killed lots of children trying to kill baby Jesus, don't know his name in english)

    JD Cassavaugh
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That was a classic go-to line for my Mama.

    Moose Keating
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a great line but it's actually a line from the movie, "Mildred Pierce". Eve Arden says it

    Taki
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was about twelve I got in big trouble for saying that I wished assassins were still around so I could hire one to kill this kid that I hated. Didn't realise at the time how bizarre that was... it's funny looking back on it though.

    Pattie Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now do as I say not what I do!!!

    fancykatt
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YUM YUM YUM KIDS TASTE GOOD

    BetsyB
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard this one too many times for it to be funny anymore.

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    #5

    Mom Quotes

    themessednest Report

    Jessica Temple
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looking for the positive in every situation.... moms!! lol

    the_potato
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and also willing to compare me to someone no matter what

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    earringnut
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    the difference between being disciplined and being disciplined

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is exactly the type of thing my mum would come out with. No sense to it at all!!

    Molly Block
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not sure about those "three square meals" a day, unless she means they are served on a square serving plate!! LOL!! And trust me, they are!

    Kelly Horrigan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOl - Mom visiting my sister in jail was so flattered when a man also visiting asked if she would let him be her pimp.

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    #6

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    MichelleyM Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Roasted, as much as i hate them, mom jokes are the best

    Just Carmen
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHAHA! That's so evil to say to your kid. I LOVE IT!

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That really makes me uncomfortable

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I take it she doesn't want any (more?) grandchildren?

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    #7

    Mom Quotes

    HoorayPlatypus Report

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    misunderstanding that streamed media isn't a one at a time think like borrowing a physical movie from the library

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    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This melts my heart. The fact that moms are like this is so funny to me!

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That she managed to get onto Netflix is itself worthy of praise!

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, those days when the video shop only has 1 copy of a film you want to see. This used to be real life, kids!

    Edyta Z
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    aww, I find that cute to be honest

    Anisah Oliver
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is hilarious. One question though. How old is your mom?

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    #8

    Mom Quotes

    Brennen_Hancock Report

    Leta Rivas
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the best thing ever

    Nadja Lambacher
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    never correct her. it is too funny

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    From now on, "getting each other's mail" means handling each other's envelope or package ;-) Pass it on.

    Max L.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Won't investigate any further

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't think that's what it means, Mom. :-)

    Molly Block
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahah, sometimes it's so sweet to be so innocently naive.

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What does the “and stuff” mean? Explain mom...

    Mark Erwin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not how it works, Mom. HAHAHAHA

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    #9

    Mom Quotes

    vpidude Report

    Peta_C
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    80?? Your Mum looks INCREDIBLE for 80! I was thinking late fifties perhaps...

    earringnut
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i NEED to know her skin care regimen!

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    A Ghost
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think people should have to take drivers tests every 15 years or so.

    MammaG
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say 4 - when they renew! Written and practical.

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    MBZ MetalsmithArtist
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great genes! Looking fab and feisty at 80!

    Carole Waters
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can’t believe she is 80. Amazing!

    ZombieGirl5591
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    80, wow! I hate the phrase "looks good for their age", but she looks amazing nonetheless

    Mickey
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dang, SASSYPANTS! I like it.

    Kate Swartz
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is one young 80 year old xo

    noitall man
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    super. hope she doesn't kill anyone. My mom was 73 and killed two poor individuals because she shouldn't have been driving.

    Bernadette Circle
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They took it away. She’s getting an ID, not a license

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    #10

    Mom Quotes

    alliesheaaaa Report

    JoSta Urban
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I honestly think it was already stolen from somewhere.

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    Zori the degu
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, she's right to some extent with these dumb fashion tendencies nowadays... I'm also stealing this one :D

    Mad Haberdasheress
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just laughed inappropriately loud because of this!!! Gorgeous!<3

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    #11

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    _itsLJ_ Report

    LOttawa
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just tried this one with my teen.... I was laughing so much I couldn't drive...loll

    ChickyChicky
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's hilarious! Way better than "brake check"!

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my mum did that we would all have thrown up

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    #12

    Mom Quotes

    MgMayor88 Report

    Star-Light Star-Bright
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But what if those brown eyes came from Mom?

    Laetitia
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then that's probably how she knows ;)

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    TheMsLollidella
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol I said that to my cousin once. I was jealous as a kid that my mom was saying how pretty his light brown eyes are and I said "his eyes are poo colored! >:("

    Patti
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, maybe she should have taken a parenting class. With a mother like that no wonder the kid was a liar

    Joe Palffy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hopefully the mom knew the correct use of your and you're, cause the kid sure as hell doesn't

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    #13

    Mom Quotes

    GotDatSparkMan Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahahahahahaha. That’s funny

    BetsyB
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Heck this has me worried now....

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    #14

    Mom Quotes

    liv_colorfully Report

    _WEIRD_ONE_
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ME : mom, stop, you're not good at making jokes! MOM : I MADE YOU!

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is where you respond: I’m what made you a mother.

    Never Mind
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No mother's day gift this year.

    LoneWolfie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Someone get some water for that burn.

    #15

    Mom Quotes

    NitwitMisfit Report

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually laughed out loud in the middle of English class. When everyone was working. And it was silent. I got my work done though and I'm bored, so um... I guess that's what they made BoredPanda for 😂

    Swarf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Historically speaking that's like, the least offensive thing people have used the Bible to murder.

    Sillyist
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brings new meaning to the term "Bible Thumper"

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't like killing God's creatures, but I don't mind killing cockroaches, since the Devil made them. God warned Noah "Don't let them on the Ark" but they snuck on anyway.

    Mad Haberdasheress
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha, Christianity rolls on. Sorry, I know this will be super downvoted, but that's fine, I'm being playful, bring it.

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    #16

    Mom Quotes

    katersNgravy Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This mom does have a right to be somewhat concerned

    Kenny Kulbiski
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Jeez, what kinda walls do they have there?

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's great! I like this mom.

    Carole Reid
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not unless you back your a*s against the wall.

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How do walls make you pregnant? Do US colleges have glory walls?

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    #17

    Mom Quotes

    LanderosCass Report

    Zori the degu
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's how both mom and I would call it, wow! :D

    L. Stephens
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She knew what she was doing! lol

    White Wolf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess she thought she was funny.

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    #18

    Mom Quotes

    Matt_Iorio Report

    SBW71
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's got her priorities in order!

    Jaded Queen
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will choose Loki. He will say something sarcastic and witty, probably pull a trick or two. .... .... And then he will let me die! Oh he is my sweet.

    varwenea
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll take Chris Helmsworth.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So many to choose from....

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    #19

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    Snyds_MEd Report

    Corinna Stim
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just spat my snack on the phone. ^^'

    alwright
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I Gotta Feeling that that's pretty funny

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    well.i.never! said will.i.am.

    diane a
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i have that problem - the "Sprog Eyed Fright" is a classic car forever

    David Castro
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of when a coworker came in and said he ran into some black ice on the way into work, and another coworker asked him if he stopped and called the police. She thought he said he ran into some black guys.

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    #20

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    LinaNBabiker Report

    Zsuzsanna Szucs
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you have any idea how hard to get the wifi back in? 😂

    MoZ
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You think I'm paying to wi-fi the whole neighborhood?

    Bunny Lady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hahaha! I once got wrong off my mam for leaving the lid off a tub of Vicks and letting all the vapour out!

    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to use this excuse sometime.

    Jill
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This makes me think that ”Wifi” would be a great name for a dog.

    Wina Alkerchief
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Once i told my mom thatbher phone has a bug., and she start dturn off her phone and remove the battery and said where is the bug? U hsve to explain that its not a real "bug" but virus kind of bug :|:|

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    #21

    Mom Quotes

    devholla14 Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No mo bro or ho, fo sho, mo :-j

    Jill
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like my mom who always mistakenly said, ”Sink, line, and hooker!”

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    #22

    Mom Quotes

    madelinembane Report

    Sam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are two sides to every story & we only got a partial to one person's side.

    Mary Sears
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha!! Mom has a great sense of humor

    Jim Hunt
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess no one ever taught her that two wrongs don't make a right.

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    #23

    Mom Quotes

    kingedhill Report

    Kjorn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sound likes a dad jokes :-)

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As if there were other choices :-O

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about "cooked"? I can't see how people can eat a rare steak. :(

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Michael Scott: "she likes her steak like her men!" (uncomfortable pause)

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    #24

    Mom Quotes

    MalloryGross Report

    Jaded Queen
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And there is their sister, Las Vegas. Guess what happened in Vegas couldn't just stay in Vegas.

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or if conceived at the Hilton Hotel in Paris, France, her name would've been...Paris Hilton?

    Jessica Gunn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    By that logic, sounds like the conceived your sister IN an Aspen tree, rather than the city...:-P

    GiveMeASloth
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    HAHA we named our daughter Ford bc her daddy likes Fords. When she gets older I may use this joke on her!

    Mick Craig
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I once told my daughter she'd nearly been named 'Stairwell'.

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! I have a cat named Aspen :) Animal control picked him up at his namesake apartment complex.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew a kid who almost got named Avis thanks to his brother--thankfully he was named Chris instead.

    Charlotte Brine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That makes no sense without the explanation of the backstory or inside joke...

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    #25

    Mom Quotes

    Ciehughes3 Report

    Silvia Silviutza
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what my sister would say... 😑

    noitall man
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    why is this funny. almost 90% of the english speaking world has uttered this...

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    And this is the social mask that people wear

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    #26

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    GloriaFallon123 Report

    Ethan Slusser
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I explained what ‘XD’ over text mean. She thought it was an orgasm face..

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where does she get roofie from selfie? Oh well, moms, you gotta love 'em

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was the cousin on the roof?

    Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom wanted to name her cat "Spooge". I had to talk her out of it

    #27

    Mom Quotes

    KaraRose24601 Report

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Okay Gatsby. Same girl, same.

    ChickyChicky
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what happens when your mom watches Spongebob a thousand million times with you.

    wtyang24
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Disagree. The girl is way cuter

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    #28

    Mom Quotes

    Cassandra86vfr Report

    Kelly Horrigan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Dad used to say after 5 kids its like tossing a shoe into the coliseum- Mom said she peed in 5 different directions LOL

    MBZ MetalsmithArtist
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She was saying she got a little screwed? Ok mom, let's not go there..lol

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    #29

    Mom Quotes

    MacEverlong Report

    Harry Plopper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thought i misread the last part. Reread it. Nope

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    uhhhhhhh..mm o_o cancel order

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Craigslist personal ads are the best for local gardening services. Or not!

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    #30

    Mom Quotes

    iPopEditor Report

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That just made that already hilarious book even funnier.

    Nadine
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We couldn't say it either. We had to call them "puffs".

    Skylar
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad bought that book for my sister and I when we were younger. Needless to say, mum was not impressed.

    Harry Potter
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom once grounded me for saying dang.

    Bihari Kristóf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun fact: In Hungarian "fing" actually means "fart".

    KismetTheFox
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I first read it as Water your F-ing Dog Ooh what’s mom doing

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow, that is so sad, ruining a part of this guy’s childhood

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    #31

    Mom Quotes

    FifieldMarci Report

    ParticularlyGoodFinder
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Of course it is happening inside your head, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?” -Dumbledore

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not trying to drag this down or anything, but if your grandmother is starting to show the early signs of dementia, start dropping things from your schedule and spend as much time with her as you can. Every day I feel as if I wasn't there for her enough.

    #32

    Mom Quotes

    ToriRamsey7 Report

    Claudia
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha, that's really funny :')

    Ruth Beaty
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom has a good sense of humor.

    Ryan Osbaldeston
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any chance your mom's name is Angelica?

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks like that watermelon is just about ripe.

    Ivana Bogdan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think I read somewhere that when you eats watermelon during pregnancy you will have girl/female child

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    #33

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    Ghostsdntouchme Report

    jetmastergames
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Even harder when you realise that she was COMPLETELY SOBER

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    Sam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    People don't have much of a filter when inebriated.

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is your name by any chance Bridget Jones?

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    #34

    Mom Quotes

    HollynHeron Report

    justagirl
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The one thing you should NOT say when a girl is on her period.

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so mean, never do that to a girl...

    Lisa
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why would anyone put "finally" and "my first period" in one sentence

    adoracat
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When all your friends have gotten theirs and you're still waiting? I was close to 14 before I got mine, my daughter was only 12.

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    Erin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's mean!

    Patti
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Take that girl away from her mother

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And... now you have more material for therapy.

    Harry Plopper
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would probably say something like that...

    Misterscooter
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A moment that you'll cherish forever.

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    #35

    Mom Quotes

    KamiC_21 Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well then, but isn’t bad advice either way

    Wade Lewis
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because that is how you were made!

    Mark Erwin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nice try. She really meant what she texted. :D

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The first could lead to the second but the second will never lead to the first!

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    #36

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    TheLordHasSpoke Report

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Instead of boxed wine

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    white widow
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This sounds like Frankie, from The middle...

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    #37

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    mollyligonn Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG! They thought it had just run away to a cleaner house.

    Floppy Floop
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen your house in the background of your submission pics. Glass houses.

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    Nikki D
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to go and tell that one to MY mom!

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    #38

    Mom Quotes

    punxshamu Report

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom always jokingly says (after hurting me accidentally) "Well, you deserved it" 😂

    Smoofy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom says this constantly

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's the kind of loving remark my mother used to come out with. Yeah, I have problems.

    #39

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    zawackanator Report

    Anete Evelone
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's how I'm gonna call them from now on

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pocket pants? That's what I call them.

    Rebecca Cote
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'll have to use that next time my husband puts his purse pants on lmao

    Donna Muse
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop trying to make "fetch" happen.

    #40

    Mom Quotes

    eileenstoll13 Report

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Gotta get that biblical knowledge

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Speaking of Biblical knowledge, he didn't really "live twice" in canon anyway. At least not in any significant way. He was just around for a few days before getting beamed up to Heaven.

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    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You go mom. Jesus is the risen Lord.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That last sentence made you twice as terrifying.

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    Mixedupste
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    But Jesus never existed so how does that work??

    Alia G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I personally don’t believe in jesus, or god or the bible in general but I can still appreciate the humor in this tweet, and i’m not gonna make the comments section into a religious argument. It’s a separate topic.

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    #41

    Mom Quotes

    llgallagher13 Report

    Linda Riebel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grievous Bodily Harm in England.....

    Dian Ella Lillie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What, so she wasn't really wishing grievous bodily harm upon your person?!

    Peta_C
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I want to like this more!!

    Marilyn Goodwin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That short for my kids school. Golden Bay High.

    ispeak catanese
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my parents had Netflix, my dad used to send back the crappy scratched ones with a post-it that said NG "No Good" on it. I can only imagine the annoyed staff at the warehouse having to pick them off each disc. We now say NG, slap a post-it on it!"

    Gabby
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom does this too. I have no idea if I failed or succeeded in teaching her how to text.

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    #42

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    JulesRead1 Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Phew! If she thought for a second it could also be jerk chicken, we'd might have to settle for Björk.

    Sarah Guzman
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's a huge difference between beef and pork, even frozen. O.o... if you can't tell one from the other, you probably don't need to be anywhere near the kitchen.

    Gabby
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Beef is generally darker and redder than pork. But if it's been there for months, it may look different?

    Nikki D
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's always exciting when your cooking from the back of the freezer or pantry!

    Lady A
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Labels are your friend!

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    #43

    Mom Quotes

    nmMorningbell Report

    Freddy Fazbear
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom: What does, Idk, gtg, and ly mean? Me: I don't know, got to go, love you. Mom: Fine, I'll ask your sister then.

    Jill
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sort of like when we set the wifi router password to ”secret”...there was no end of confusion there.

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    Oscar Casian
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    mom: always so busy to answer what i ask you

    Sebastião Camarinhas
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I apologize for bringing this up but this person shouldn't set foot I Portugal as 'Mija' in Portuguese is the cuss for pee 😂

    Paige Honey
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    legit did this with "IDK" whenever i would ask they would answer " i dont know" and i would say NO ONE DOES. short forms and i don't get along.

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom: ohhhhh, thanks, i get it now. Bye.

    ispeak catanese
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's funny how no one is asking what "Mi'ja" means!

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    #44

    Mom Quotes

    Gloryguy Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That should have her up and at 'em in no time! Like vibrating daughter (#18) above :-o

    Ellis
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Whatever she’s on, I want some of that too

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought that was how she ended up in the hospital?

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine the amount of energy this would take!

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    #45

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    MsDuchessKate Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My MIL ordered something by mail. She came to me confused. "Why hasn't it arrived yet? The check already cleared thru my bank." She was serious.

    Apollo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my country (The Netherlands) we have our own Bible Belt where the owners of webshops 'close' their sites on Sundays. I never tried if it was really closed though.

    LaDonna Hulcy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can't believe these people figured out how to have a kid....😂😂

    ParticularlyGoodFinder
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thinking the site may be "closed" doesn't make her stupid, it just means she doesn't understand the internet.

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    #46

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    PaigeRocks97 Report

    Kelsey Hulce
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would never say that to me, she doesn't want me getting any ideas. 😂

    Jan Moore
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma would always say "don't worry, they'll leave you under the first street light"

    #47

    Mom Quotes

    stomperdad Report

    Lello Panzieri
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    BTW s**t floats only if you eat a lot of fats. If you have a good diet, it sinks.

    Mark Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mine sinks a lot of the time.

    Abbey Impson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yeah our Mom went with "none of you are so sweet you're gonna melt in the rain; s**t just lumps"

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    #48

    Mom Quotes

    clairesgentry Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the day, I smoked pot. But I never inhaled, honest!

    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know what weed smells like. I live in Kansas so...

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rip this girl, exposure to many things

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I live in Colorado myself. if you walk into a store and smell a skunk, you know someone's been smoking weed.

    athornedrose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sit in any outdoor concert ever

    McKinley Winkler
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    MOM QUOTE- I WENT TO DENVER CO FOR A SCOOL TRIP. MUM SAID TO BRING BACK SUVINEERS. DAD SAID(JOKINGLY) BRING BACK SOME WEED. MUM SAID- DO NOT BRING WEED BACK, YOU GOTTA SMOKE IT ON THE SPOT GEFORE THE HOMEES GET YA.

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    #49

    Mom Quotes

    StreamingAl Report

    annisa pramita siwi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too, like totally hate trinket..they either filled my drawers, my shelves, or collecting dust on display...my mom and I got rid of them when I started high schooll..

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My uncle was even more terse: If you can't eat it, can't use it. Munchables only, m'kay!

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me, it's more like, "if I can't eat it, read it or spend it."

    Dogfacedboy1980
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's actually, if you can't eat it or f**k it, p**s on it.

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    #50

    Mom Quotes

    jraew26 Report

    Nikki D
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Happy tipsy moms are the best.

    Micah64
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did she try punching bricks for coins?

    Gabby
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You know someone is a true parent at heart when they call themselves "mom" or "dad" when they're inebriated.

    #51

    Mom Quotes

    seanje867 Report

    Swarf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, seriously. A threesome with your ex? Bad form.

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    Katie Zachgo
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oof, I feel bad for people who say stuff without knowing what it means and then end up embarrassing themselves...

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not all bad. A threesome could as well be any set of three, like a musical trio; just some folks only understand the sexual connotation. Perverts!

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    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No one wants this menage a trois!

    #52

    Mom Quotes

    am_blay Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can we leave him out of America?

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    #53

    Mom Quotes

    steventurner45 Report

    Heidrance
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    who tenderizes with a knife?

    Karolina
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my mom once was doing the same thing except it was like 1 am and the police showed up and then she asked if they wanted some once dinner's ready

    Karolina
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom once was doing the same thing except it was 1 am (she's a night owl) and the police showed up And she asked if they wanted some once it's ready

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your Mom never showed her face in Church again.

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    #54

    Mom Quotes

    Rebecca68742767 Report

    Carole Reid
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's hard when your neighbors kid is doing the Soft Shoe at 6 months.

    KatHat
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least mom could spell.

    My O My
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What I would give for only 14 months...

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, she also carried her for 9 months before she was even born.

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So mean, but at the same time...

    Belinda Medeiros
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Daughter is 6 has CP I'm still carrying her. Super insensitive.

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe if they'd stopped carry you everywhere you'd have walked sooner 😜

    #55

    Mom Quotes

    breunitl Report

    Tim Douglass
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only the CIA, NSA, FBI, Google, and Amazon can see you.

    Amelia Junge
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't forget the one that is mentioned in this post, Facebook!

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    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No, but they will soon know your life history.

    Rehb star
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    actually your moms right they can see us i'm talking about recent facebook and google data leaks and also spying on people with their camera and mic

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Of course, they see your character

    #56

    Mom Quotes

    AngieDavisHaha Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would think they would if they are famous...

    Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In my country you don't need to have a health insurance. Nor a job, to obtain healthcare. But you live better if you work.

    Pam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My musician is also a teacher so he probably has better insurance than that mom. Score!!

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She probably means those guys who don't want to get a day job, and let other people support them until they "hit it big"

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's just sad. That insurance should be necessary as a factor in someone's life, cause I'm guessing we're talking health care insurance, not home insurance...

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    #57

    Mom Quotes

    HughVandivier Report

    PurpleUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which is what I have to bite my tongue not to say whenever I meet anyone out of context!

    Isabel Care
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There was an MOD policeman who saved up that line for 5 months til a coach load of nuns were visiting the naval base ( HMS Victory etc) as I passed him during a post round. I cycled into work in cut off jeans and t shirt then changed into office attire. He was so glad he waited.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about "out of uniform" or "in real life"?

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    #58

    Mom Quotes

    neltone57 Report

    Heidrance
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i had a friend who used to refer to Lindt chocolate truffles as "sex for your mouth." and i was always like "you know, they *have* that."

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think she might have confused "oral" with "phone."

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ummm, you don’t talk when doing oral sex.....

    d r e a m w o r l d
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    P R E A C H ! Oral is disgusting imho... like do it if you want but don't expect me to see you the same way again.

    #60

    Mom Quotes

    DylPickleChips Report

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband made me promise to put "No, No, Go Ahead, I'll Wait Here..." on his.

    A S Koziol
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dad wants "I finally got to sleep late" on his!

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    #61

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    DanaGrace20 Report

    Sasy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had to use nailpolish to draw an arrow to the button to press, when Netflix does that dumb are you still there thing, she still holds up the remote at me and asks which one, the arrow is huge.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You speak 2 different languages

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    #62

    Mom Quotes

    its_maddie_byee Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, what? If it's Sam's mum on the phone she'll surely already know how old Sam's brother, her son, is.

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, IF. But it's actually Mad's mom. So I think it's an overheard conversation. PLUS: Who said she's the mom of Sam AND the brother? Perhaps they just have the same father...

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    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Confusing. How are all these people related? These modern families!

    #63

    Mom Quotes

    samselena12 Report

    Pam
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom: "Take a hot bath"

    Jiří Schindler
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I used to attend motocross races as a track marshal. There was a doctor, that when there was an accident, he walked there in slow pace, in flip flops, with only a plastic bottle of water, regardless of seriousness of the situation or injury. We called him "Doctor Water". He was baned eventually from these events due to such life threatening negligence. There is problem, when such moms teach at med schools :-)

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lol, same in my family. "Have a glass of water!"

    Kay Seawolf
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma's answer to everything was aloe.

    GiveMeASloth
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I DO THIS!! Or the other one oh well it's probably bc your tired maybe you should take a nap lol

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "You'll be fine," and "You don't need stitches". EVENTUALLY, I was fine. At least once, I SHOULD have had stitches.

    #64

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    joshuabarney44 Report

    Alia G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That’s genuinely awesome, but kind of sad that “head of the house” is still a term...

    Nnaemeka Egwim
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What's wrong with the term "head of the house" ?

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    Sarah Harel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a line from the movie "My Big Fat Greek Wedding"

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's all good, but still need a trunk to wear the pants and limbs to take out the trash.

    KatHat
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Isn't that a quote from My Big Fat Greek Wedding?

    Katie Smith
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it's a saying that's been around a while. But yes it was in that movie.

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    Lydia Smith
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OHMYGOD MY DAD SAID THAT ABOUT MY MOM TOO THAT SHE WAS THE NECK

    Azziza
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    https://youtu.be/CJbC5AfxqPc

    Azziza
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's from My Big Fat Greek Wedding and it goes more like "the man may be the head but the woman is the neck and she can turn the head any way she wants to."

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mum's the heart! Without that the head is pretty useless.

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    #65

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    megbecca24 Report

    Carole Reid
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Should have said "No little D***s, huh?"

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No d***s, just a fine line of dykes. Carry on.

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Wow. I can’t decide if that’s feminist or just plain wrong

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    #66

    Mom Quotes

    babygail62 Report

    Nikki D
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom would have said that she wouldn't kick him out of bed for eating crackers!

    Alison French
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My gran said just about the same when I introduced my boyfriend!

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's really not what you want your mum to say.

    #67

    Mom Quotes

    al_pitcher Report

    #68

    Mom Quotes

    SaahilMehta13 Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if not Dad, ask whoever's on First, etc., etc. >.<

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless Dad doesn't know either.

    Silvia Silviutza
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It would be helpful to answer " IDK means I don't know ".

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    #69

    Mom Quotes

    LianneFrame Report

    Nicholas Tompkins
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hey it okay to fart at a certian age while doing yoga everyone kinda does besides they just have air freshener plugged in they always say everyone farts in church because the know they dont have to confess it in church in public

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    Cari G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After 60, never trust a fart

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    #70

    Mom Quotes

    That_shammah Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I guess that rules out movies with Sinéad O'Connor's former loverboy with the kneecaps, so we're on a roll!

    Jill
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom had a problem with proper nouns as well and used the word thing or thingy for everything...so after a while my sister and I became really good mind readers. My dad never caught the hang of it.

    Lady A
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband and I have this conversation All The Time lol

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Watch Alfred Hitchcock's film 'Rope'.

    #71

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    Rachelle1101 Report

    Sasy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that it has the O makes it even more adorable and Christmas sweatery

    #72

    Mom Quotes

    Tonomi324 Report

    alwright
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    @Alex K & the talking booze, sex and gender are not the same thing. Gender identity is much more complex than just male or female.

    ParticularlyGoodFinder
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And anyway, "bisexual" refers to sexual orientation, not gender identity.

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    SeamusRGN
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    I'm going to add a comment here because it will automatically be highest rated. GO ME!

    Alex K
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    no, because there are only 2 genders :P

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Science: Physically, humans don't always have clearly identifiable male or female genitalia, might have internal reproductive organs differing from their external genitalia, and might even have chromosomal arrangements other than the common XX or XY. Human hormones are not always produced in the typical quantities for a male or female. Neurologically, variances in the human brain, hormonal levels and other factors lead us to our gender identity. Historically, numerous cultures have wisely identified and accepted persons whose gender identity does not match the appearance of their external genitalia. God has created a wondrous and diverse world. It is a sign of ignorance to deny God's creation and try to force people to deny acceptance of themselves as how God made them to conform to some narrow-minded idea of what gender is.

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    #74

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    mollyligonn Report

    Katie Smith
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am also invested in the lives of the neighborhood water fowl. They're very interesting.

    #75

    Mom Quotes

    Mormonger Report

    JV
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some people have issues here.

    CultOfBambi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it very much depends on the context and the relationship between child & parent.

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    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, you could argue that might be the best time to do that.

    #76

    Mom Quotes

    BrookeSahray Report

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Rip her, i hope she learns her lesson

    kaylyn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i bet she wishes she could take that back

    JV
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This can't be good for business.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How did she explain that one?

    FHKW
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm just wondering, does being a photographer relate to what happened?

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her client had to cancel the sitting appointment

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    #77

    Mom Quotes

    reed_215 Report

    Alia G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have to be the only teenager not embarrassed by my parents... Was singing along with a grateful dead song with my dad on the way to school with the windows open ha ha

    LOttawa
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Then your parents need to work harder at it. It's part of our job description to embarrass our kids :)

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    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I threaten to give my teenage son a kiss when I drop him off!

    d r e a m w o r l d
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMTAKINTHISHORSEBYTHEREINSMAKINREDCOATSREDDERWITHBLOODSTAINSLaFaYeTtE

    female raisin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ANDIMNEVERGONNASTOPUNTILIMAKEEMDROPANDTEARTHEMUPANDSCATTERTHEREMAINSIMLaFaYeTtE

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    Kelsey Hulce
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When you start hitting second puberty, your parents become your friends. Because you all want the same thing. For instance, I used to go to the bar and parties ALL THE TIME. Hell if it was my day off, and I hadn't gotten drunk or had sex, I'd get cabin fever. Every 4th of July I would go with my parents to a beach town and hour from is, or into the downtown area of a college town. I would take off towards the end of the night, come back for fireworks, and then leave with friends. I'd stay out all night because I was too energetic to go home at 11 on with them in my early twenties, we would argue and I would basically say f**k off, and leave. I'm almost 29 now. Last year we went to that beach town. I didn't go anywhere except the water, the bathroom, and our blanket, I stayed with my parents, ate some pot brownies, pizza, chips, and drank beer. We got home at 1 a.m. and I passed out. This year will be the exact same 😂😁

    Jayden Michael
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd be rapping right along with her.

    Silvia Silviutza
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love it when my dad sings opera. I know the neighbors will be annoyed :))

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hope you stopped being rude. No kid needs that kind of humiliation.

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    #78

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    colleenmpearce Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom needs to learn how to share the road.

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends on whether or not the biker in question should have been in a marked bike-lane. I've also surprised a number of people in my Prius, at low speeds, they don't even know there is anyone behind them.

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    #79

    Mom Quotes

    caitlincarrickm Report

    Kiss Army
    Community Member
    Premium
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom tells me "It's interesting..."

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When people have said that to me it's usually about an item of clothing that I really don't like.

    #80

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    fanpirie Report

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have only ever heard the exact phrase "Well, that's fantastic" used sarcastically. So, I would probably still feel insulted when I found out what she thought it meant.

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    #82

    Mom Quotes

    tenniskev Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother would never have known - not sharing that kind of info!

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How long did that relationship last?

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially with a Mom like that.

    #83

    Mom Quotes

    hellohi_imjenna Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good for you. Must mean "O Neg"

    alwright
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Too bad you can't make more blood.

    #84

    Mom Quotes

    acosta_pasta Report

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    #85

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    1DllamaHarry Report

    alwright
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You are not fake news, those are just alternative facts.

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    #86

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    amygils89 Report

    Judith Sullivan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just so you know -- there are chocolate (tea)pots, and they are very collectable and valuable.

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pretty sure she means a teapot made out of chocolate. Which would melt all over your table if you poured hot water en it.

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    Lisa-Marie Saunders
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's quite a common simile in the UK to mean someone is utterly useless!

    Lisa-Marie Saunders
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But my mum always said I was as much use as a fart in a colander!

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    Barbara Baxendale
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum always said I was as useful as a chocolate fireguard !!

    #87

    Mom Quotes

    Lolabug11 Report

    Vlad Horobet
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom : "I made you. i'll kill you "

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also the premise of the Nicolas Cage & Selma Blair movie "Mom & Dad." Watch it if you know what's bad for you! momdad-5af...25784c.jpg momdad-5af91a325784c.jpg

    SnowyLynx
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve been told this many times

    Horosho Bodka
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...And make another one that looks just like you.

    Sam Chen
    Community Member
    4 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom says “I took you into this world I can take you out as well

    Amaranthim Talon
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "And make another one just like you!" Thanks, Bill Cosby ;)

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    #88

    Mom Quotes

    soulsunshine44 Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably scared the Hell out of him.

    Robert Morson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He was probably trying to figure out what the h*ll that meant.

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    #89

    Mom Quotes

    _itsLJ_ Report

    Nicky OldfieldDesciple
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If my mom did this I would reply by shouting "Hail Satan".

    Maybe a Kitsune
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Nicky OldfieldDesciple ur an idiot u know?

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    #90

    Mom Quotes

    Hfr_tx Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I drove my ex crazy saying "I'm fixin' to" He was like, "What does that even mean?"

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    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Peanut butter's in the 'fridge."

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't allowed to complain or criticize the food. If I chose not to eat what was prepared, I could fix my own meal.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They can fix their own meal, then. Or go to Micky D's.

    annisa pramita siwi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup,heard it..not from my mom cz I and my brother get something more like 'you won't starve if you just eat slower/leave some for other'

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fix? Odd word for cooking. I find 'make some eggs' funny - you mean cook or are you really going to make the eggs. Language barriers... :o)

    #91

    Mom Quotes

    no_late_work Report

    annisa pramita siwi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The good SIL answer 'it's a toe of the famous desert animal' 😜😜

    #92

    Mom Quotes

    hthrcarvell Report

    Shari H
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Truer advice has never been given!

    Char Char
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a Jergens commercial.

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    #93

    Mom Quotes

    ShannonSkyFall Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like Mom is a good cook. I'm hungry now, have to go....

    Nikki D
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually prefer bean enchiladas!

    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom mishears pop songs all the time. A few months ago she did that with "Attention" by Charlie Puth; she thought the lyrics "Throwing that dirt all around my name" were "Throwing that turtle on my knee". I'll never hear anything else.

    Connie Bonneville
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That song is never going to be the same for me

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    #94

    Mom Quotes

    thelaziestgeek Report

    PurpleUnicorn
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know if it's still there but there used to be a huge Virgin Megastore on Oxford Street

    Karen Birbeck
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sadly no more megastores. There are some HMVs though.

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    My O My
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She managed to literally not find that store? It was so huge it was nearly impossible to get past..

    #95

    Mom Quotes

    erika_alena Report

    Blue Cicada
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I knew several teenage moms and dads whose parents didn't properly discuss reproduction with them. You can easily get pregnant without seeing a phallus.

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    All the better to see penises with?

    Mark Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Only if you get it in the eye.

    Anna Moreno
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're blind you won't need glasses!

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    #97

    Mom Quotes

    Simpoevsky Report

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    #98

    Mom Quotes

    ChristyMarvin Report

    Thomas Kolev
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Spacebook sounds more fun than either of those.

    lamidi kolawole
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like what we will be using after we locate other intelligent being outside our planet.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sound like a good name. Copyright it.

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    #99

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    tlcprincess Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Especially if you're drinking!

    Rebecca Cote
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    lol. When my husbands dad had "the talk" with him it consisted of his dad saying, "Get all while you can because when you get old it doesn't happen anymore." That was "the talk" lol

    Randy Inbred
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Difficult to do. Even if you wanted to!

    #100

    Mom Quotes

    aspenkae Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I hate being accused of shouting when I've got way more volume to go.

    #101

    Mom Quotes

    momof3onehairy Report

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Never tell her about video calls...

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the smartass reply would be... I'm lookatting, I'm lookatting!

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    #103

    Mom Quotes

    BEAN___33 Report

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Which begs the question, does a titted bullfrog have any chores?¿

    Rhys Williams
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Got something similar. "useless as Tits on a Bull"

    Bunzilla
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just googled 'frog with boobs'. Was not disappointed. LOL! xD

    annisa pramita siwi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As useless as non exist??cool,gonna steal it!!

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she should copyright that XD that sounds like a cool catchphrase

    #105

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    NateHoot Report

    Kelly Horrigan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom has 5 of us, all girls. When I was around 11 (the youngest) someone asked my my mom "How do you do it?" Her response " Bury them at 11 and dig them up when they are 18" Totally understood when my daughter turned 13.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You were already 2 years past the expiration date.

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    #106

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    keelsondarealz Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As long as you know what it means.

    Marzipanda
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Another mom, upon hearing of a relative's passing, once texted LOL thinking it meant "lots of love." Oh well.

    ArtistclyAutistic
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plot twist, she knows what it means...

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    #107

    Mom Quotes

    k12dude Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's vacuuming. How can she even hear?

    Ok Ha-Neul
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    maybe she wasn't a fan of beth

    #108

    Mom Quotes

    RockTheFred Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a pretty common phrase in the right circumstances.

    Kelsey Hulce
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Uhhh Steve isn't the one who came up with that. Maybe he popularized it but I was saying that when I was a freshman. In 2004.

    #109

    Mom Quotes

    tomchick26 Report

    Annabella Li
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    step one: prepare granddaughter

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not the grand daughter(s)!

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    #110

    Mom Quotes

    Flexyashe123 Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Being mum doesn't make you automatically right.

    LOttawa
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes it does, at least that's what we tell our kids.

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    Kelsey Hulce
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom actually acts quite equally to me. My dad though likes to interrupt saying "No, no you're wrong, no" I want to f*****g smack him when he does that. Like if I have kids, and he decides to take them to go do something without asking me this is how it would go. "Dad he's 5. He's not ready to do paint ball" "Oh he's fine" "No dad he is not your child and you will ask me next time you want to do something like this and you will do as I say because he is my child and I know what's best for him" "NO NO ...NO...NO....NO.. YOU'RE WRONG HE'S FINE" "No he's not dad" "Nope... No" That will happen I can guarantee it. And I will have no problem with looking him straight in the eye and enforcing what rules I have for my child if my dad wants to see his grandkids.

    Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That must be so bloody annoying!! Good for you for sticking to your way of doing things.

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    #111

    Mom Quotes

    frederickrose64 Report

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can hear her laughing... my mother told me the same "I hope your son will be as exhausting as you were!"

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your Mom probably gave HER Mother hell.

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum said that - so I didn't have kids. (Not the only reason but it's on the list... maybe near the end)

    SBW71
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always got "I hope you have one just like you".

    Anna Repp
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL. When I told my mom i was pregnant, she replied with "Congratulations! Now you're going to suffer for the rest of your life!"

    Mark Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, you'd have a head start on a making sure your daughter isn't a c**t.

    #112

    Mom Quotes

    paigeisverypale Report

    Crazy Dog Lady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But what context would make that make sense tho.....

    #113

    Mom Quotes

    jimmyfallon Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I find myself calling Best Buy "Blockbuster" I must be related to your Mom.

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a horrible cup of coffee from a local Starbucks once - that would have busted some blocks.

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    #114

    Mom Quotes

    erterm_ Report

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In germany we call ALL baby birds "Küken". Unfortunately many people write "Kücken" and that makes me mad...

    Efia
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The only time we Germans create something easy in our language :-D

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    #115

    Mom Quotes

    LochridgeCasey Report

    Kelly Horrigan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mom too! I still do not know what that means- Don't love a man just cuz he has money? Give the poor guy a chance cuz everyone is picking the rich guy? Don't be intimidated by a successful man or feel unworthy? For God's sake do not get involved with a man who can't support you??? I wish she spelled it out. When I divorced- I had to pay alimony for a year!

    Susan Forbes
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think it means if you have to choose and all other things being equal, pick the guy with more money

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    Lily Robertson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom said that until i joined the Navy. Then she said, "It's just as easy to marry an Admiral as an Ensign."

    Cari G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mom too. She meant - if you have a choice between two men..pick the one with money. I didn't listen...should have. Got a good one now.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It means, don't marry a bum? Be a gold-digger instead?

    ParticularlyGoodFinder
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Mom didn't say money should be the only factor. Also, I think "gold digger" implies depending on the guy for money, and she didn't say the daughter shoudn't have money of her own.

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    #116

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    xdregina Report

    Nicky OldfieldDesciple
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mother keeps asking me what her phone number is. When I asked her how come she didn't know she said "well I didn't think I'd need to memorise it I mean I'm hardly going to need it to call myself am I?"

    Veee V
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    my dad..who is 70 asks me this every other week....been going on for more than six months now..I donno why?!

    Hamlets twin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm my moms IT support, even at 34, so this is kindof par for the course

    #117

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    KAKadziolka Report

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    #119

    Mom Quotes

    Amandalovesgar1 Report

    Kelly
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what my mother used to say in the 60's, so nothing has changed, in time and space.

    #120

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    KristenRose124 Report

    ParticularlyGoodFinder
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure "cute" is the right word here...

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Better hang on to it, then. She has to die someday.

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    #122

    Mom Quotes

    lilbuckaroo Report

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    #123

    Mom Quotes

    marym921 Report

    Christina Sersif
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We don't have in and out here so idk what either style is in the fry talk :(

    Shey M
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's on their secret menu

    Cassie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is "animal style"?

    Mary Sears
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It gives you extra sauce and grilled onions mixed w/ the cheese

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    #124

    Mom Quotes

    hakunamattera Report

    #125

    Mom Quotes

    G_bicycle63 Report

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    #126

    Mom Quotes

    GoFahr Report

    Shari H
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She wasn't completely wrong...

    Hamlets twin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I worked in the produce department at a local grocery store I'd get at least one person a week asking where the guacamoles were...

    Gabby
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, uhhhhh, she's not wrong. Lol

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    #127

    Mom Quotes

    kkelley138 Report

    The Laugh Fan
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a strange sentence... 'stopped me on a rock'. ??

    Cookie
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe "stood" me on a rock. Kids' Engrish nowadays!

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    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I would've thought you'd pick them up before even realizing.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They probably were condoms. Ewww.

    #128

    Mom Quotes

    mr_banker13 Report

    #129

    Mom Quotes

    Shell_lynn12 Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best present you can give her, is to load it for her and show her how to use it.

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    #130

    Mom Quotes

    dianidag Report

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    #131

    Mom Quotes

    chasitycdw Report

    #132

    Mom Quotes

    witcheypo Report

    Haye Kaye
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spit out my soda. Imma use that from now on, chickie bobs!

    Stina Kolling
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Doesn't twitter have punctuation? I could have sworn twitter had punctuation.

    #133

    Mom Quotes

    L1L_NUGG3T Report

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    #134

    Mom Quotes

    swamppglue25 Report

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    #135

    Mom Quotes

    Okiedokie_Liv Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's hinting that you take her with you.

    #136

    Mom Quotes

    guinnessgrl4evr Report

    Doodle_Danger
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I haven't been to the ocean often.... Red flag means too windy/ too big of waves right?

    #137

    Mom Quotes

    TeresaCastillo Report

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Honestly, in that case I would refuse to even go there...

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    #138

    Mom Quotes

    Ric45611 Report

    Cynthia Mendez
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think she means its safer to not do it, than to carefully do it.

    Dee Lawson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The saying is better safe than sorry here in England .

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    Lisa-Marie Saunders
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum always said: "Be good. And if you can't be good, be careful. And if you can't be careful, buy a pram"!

    Sasy
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wear a rubber, don't just pull out in time.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Does she know what it means?

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    #139

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    sorensicswan Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She's been watching "Family Guy"

    #140

    Mom Quotes

    Mary38743166 Report

    Gremlan jonnson
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    😂😂😂😂 I dont know why this made me laugh so hard but I cant stop it

    Barbara Baxendale
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma used to say that about me and garden peas !!

    Hamlets twin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Its from an old radio serial... I can't remember the name though... this is going to bug me

    #141

    Mom Quotes

    AnnGarvinB Report

    Hamlets twin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ok... but will your husband be joining you?

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The invite didn't say "plus one"?

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    #142

    Mom Quotes

    Neuro2343 Report

    J Perry
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My British in-laws always say "what's-their-face" As in "Oh, you know, what's-their-face". No, I really don't.

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's annoying like the german "Dings", right? Like "Hey, ich war heute bei Dings." WHAT?

    Mn gooze
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's why I always say Dingenskirchen, way more specific 😉

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    #143

    Mom Quotes

    CatchyP Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The latest attraction at your neighborhood bar. BYOG (gun)

    #144

    Mom Quotes

    hellohi_imjenna Report

    Hamlets twin
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "it reminds me of when you were conceived and..."."eww mom! stop"

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did she get a contact high?

    #145

    Mom Quotes

    marybelle86 Report

    Gabby
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never understood why the f**k men need urinals. You ain't got one in your house so why you can't you just pee in the toilet when you're outside?

    Sami
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a cleaner, it's much nicer to have urinals...the boys seem to aim better and the toilets stay cleaner along with the floors!

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    #146

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    Martycheddar Report

    Kim Charles
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Nan used to call dumb and dumber mutt and mutter!

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    #147

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    BethRob325 Report

    #148

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    Claptonkeys Report

    #149

    Mom Quotes

    AndC01392992 Report

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? Now your belly button bullies you? Bad belly button, shame on you!

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what happens if you get it pierced?

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    #150

    Mom Quotes

    JanusAvery Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you've been in a serious wreck, believe me, no one is looking at your undies.

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    #151

    Mom Quotes

    ZakeryWood Report

    #152

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    victoria_pike Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a barista, people would come in asking for "Lates" and got mad if you corrected them.

    Cari G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is that the same as creamy brullee?

    #153

    Mom Quotes

    k12dude Report

    Heidrance
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    if the microwaved bacon is on this list, i may die a little inside....

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    #154

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    toniwarden Report

    Nostalgic Hyena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Actually, that's not too bad of an idea..

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've heard of people making weirder things.

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    #156

    Mom Quotes

    denisleary Report

    #157

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    stefjorgensen Report

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    #158

    Mom Quotes

    jessbyrdsmith Report

    Taradactyal
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your mom might have dysphagia

    LOttawa
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My bf can't either... Didn't know there was a name for it, thank you

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    annisa pramita siwi
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is she alright? Health related speaking...

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    #159

    Mom Quotes

    KakaRica3 Report

    #160

    Mom Quotes

    Aime_BookLover Report

    #161

    Mom Quotes

    LifeAtlasPhotos Report

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    #162

    Mom Quotes

    Robbiewittman1 Report

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    #163

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    hayleybz_ Report

    Miriam Brose
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope she did not want to print it out...

    #165

    Mom Quotes

    KennedyAna22 Report

    Celestial
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ahhh return of the bisexual objects

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    #166

    Mom Quotes

    smplysmashing1 Report

    Sami
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Haha. It's supposed to be a hernia

    Rogue Angel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mum used to tell me sitting on cold walls gives you haemorrhoids...

    Cari G.
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Mom used to say "sit on cold concrete you'll get hemherroids"

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    #167

    Mom Quotes

    SammElaineHugh Report

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like she is the one who has been drinking.

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    #172

    Mom Quotes

    _clumm Report

    #173

    Mom Quotes

    ri_otto1122 Report

    Stephen Marshall
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Well aren't you quite the elitist little b***h. Mom must be so proud. How's New York?

    Catherine Poupart
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She and her Mom seem to have a great relationship based on how her Mom replied. You seem very judgmental. What's wrong in your world?

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    #174

    Mom Quotes

    dionnnabd7 Report

    PyroKitty
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog could definitely help.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    7 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Not much market for that. Try making pillows.

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    #175

    Mom Quotes

    reginaweckwerth Report

    #176

    Mom Quotes

    k12dude Report

    Catherine Poupart
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It appears to be in a Caesar Salad - that would be green...

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    Heidrance
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    sidebar: i've always wondered if boiling bacon can really make it look like that, but i have too much love and respect for bacon to waste a piece on experimentation...

    Heidrance
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    boiled. sorry not microwaved. i stand corrected. and i cringe.

    #177

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    KristenRose124 Report

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    #178

    Funny-Mom-Quotes-Tweets-Jimmy-Fallon

    lily_pad26 Report

    serena
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hopefully you call her each time after she texts you that message, because otherwise you blatantly ignoring your mother for days like that is really crappy of you!

    Rogue Angel
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or it was her texting her mother, and her mother was ignoring her for three days...

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    Stina Kolling
    Community Member
    7 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was 16 I went to live with my grandmother, who grew up on a dairy farm in Arkansas. She used to write up a grocery list & she knew I was from NY and liked bagels, so she'd put "bagoes" on the grocery list. I of course tried to tell her that it was "bageL", not "bagOE". Her reply was a simple "well that's how I spell it." My 16 year old brain was smart enough, even at that age, to think "well, I respect this woman; she's earned the right to call it a bagoe if she wants to call it a bagoe." And that was the end of that.

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