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“I’m Sorry, I’m Married”: 30 Times People Misread Social Cues And Created Legendary Cringe
There’s not a single person in the world who hasn’t embarrassed themselves in a social situation. No matter how charismatic and smooth you think you are, everyone’s brain goes ‘derp’ from time to time, leading to a bunch of awkwardness.
In a viral reel on Instagram, popular YouTuber Connor Flannery (@connorpugs) asked his followers to share the most jaw-droppingly bad moments when they misread social cues. Scroll down for their stories. Just… get ready for more secondhand embarrassment than watching The Office.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Not me but a coworker. I work at Chick-Fil-A and I was working with a new guy who was being trained with my friend. The new guy kept on trying to make sure he said "my pleasure" and "they'll have your food at the window" but once he messed up and said "they'll pleasure you at the window." I couldn't stop laughing the whole shift.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 1 month ago
Spelling mistake? The a at the beginning of the word?
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Upstaged75 1 month ago (edited)
I was a hostess in a fancy hotel restaurant back in my 20's. One day we had a reservation for a party with the name of Siemens. When they arrived I told my manager that they were here. With a smirk he looked at me and said "are they all coming at once?". 🤣😂🤣 I had to be excused to go stand in the kitchen because I was crying with laughter and couldn't stop. Someone else had to seat them. It took me hours to quit randomly cracking up. 🤣🤣 Thanks Chuck - you were the best manager ever!
WubiDubi 1 month ago
With breasts or thighs? (I'm baiting the BP advertiser-first puritanical filters at this point)
Michael Largey 1 month ago (edited)
Well, not all types of pleasuring. This is Chick-Fil-A after all.
RELATED:
#2
Someone knocked on the bathroom stall, I panicked and said "come in" and THEY DID.
Sara Frazer 1 month ago (edited)
HAHAHAH! oh god this reminds me of my most embarrassing public bathroom incident...I was at the zoo when suddenly I reeeaaally had to go, there was no holding it. So I found a bathroom, and was doing my business, when there was a knock. I was already embarrassed having to do my business in a public place, so I panicked and decided to pretend I was a man. Idk why. But in my deepest surliest voice I called out "OCCUPIED", and thought that was that. NO. The lady who knocked on the door freaking waited outside the bathroom. So I'm walking out, a young 20s something woman who just stanked up a bathroom and did a weird manly voice in an attempt to hide my identity 😂💀😭 this was like a decade ago, y'all, and it still haunts me. This is my shame
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
I feel second-hand shame for you from here. Maybe these’ll help cheer you up just a tiny bit: 💐 And if that doesn’t do the trick, have some fruit, you stanky li’l thang: 🥝🍇🍒 💋
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Samantha H 1 month ago
I was using a Ladies loo at a Hospital. There was a heavy knocking on the door - a male voice asked me what I was doing, I was horrified and I replied in a snarky manner that I was having a p*o. He then asked if I would be coming out and how long I would be, it was getting scary and I was getting very uncomfortable. When I left he was waiting outside the ladies room and it was a Security guard! I asked him angrily why I couldn't even have a p*o in peace and it turned out he was looking for someone, that is not the way to go about it, I did end up laughing about it, but a really embarrassing conversation overhead by other Ladies.
timhood 1 month ago
That's actually worse than the post you commented on! They should switch places and make yours the post! 😆
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Brian Droste 1 month ago
Wouldn't the stall door have a lock or a latch on it so someone else couldn't walk in? All the ones I have used usually have a latch o it.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Oh, good grief. At best, only about 60% of them actually *work*, thanks to аssholes who’ve tried to force the doors open (or sometimes the door doesn’t align with the frame for whatever reason, but usually someone tried to force *something* somewhere).
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Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
I was in the toilet at a friend's house when I was a teenager and one of her foster siblings knocked on the door. I said 'yes?' and they opened the door! I don't know how that would happen in a bathroom stall though, when they have locks on all the doors.
#3
Started going “woo” during a theater meeting cuz someone else was… turns out those were involuntary ticks I was mimicking.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
The others I’ve read so far were “meh,” but this one made me wince so hard my neck’s still at a strange angle and I’m looking for my heating pad. (I usta date someone with Tourette’s, so he was *constantly* snorting, screeching, groaning, all manner of involuntary noises, and this one made me imagine i mimicked him on our first date, and … nuts! I physically winced again. I’m gonna apply some Tiger Balm til I find the heating pad. Holy c**p; this is just TOO awful!)
K_Tx 1 month ago (edited)
Take some dry rice. Pour into old sock. Knot sock at open end. Microwave for a minute or however hot you want. Heat and a lovely smell!
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Broadly speaking, the best way to handle any socially awkward and embarrassing situations is to lean into them. Your first reactions might be to pretend that nothing happened, to defend yourself, or to run away.
However, when you acknowledge that you messed up (with a liberal addition of humor on top), you end up coming out on top. Not only do you defuse the awkwardness by accepting what happened, but you also appear approachable and down-to-earth to everyone else.
And it’s not like you can perfectly avoid embarrassing yourself. It’s going to happen sooner or later. So, it’s smarter to learn how to react healthily now than to blunder around in the future.
#4
Walked into a room of people praying silently, didn't realize they were praying so I shouted "geez why is it so depressing in here?"
moggiemoo 1 month ago
My manager told me to "cheer up, you look like somebody died". Yeah, my uncle, that morning.
katakuri 1 month ago
Never ever say that s**t cuz u don’t know what’s going on in others life’s sorry for your loss
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Apatheist Account2 1 month ago
Twice I've had people say "It can't be that bad" when looking at my sad face - just after I've been told a friend has died. Sometimes it can be that bad.
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Leah Banks 1 month ago
My husband and I prayed before our meal at a restaurant and the waitress rushed over and said "is everything okay? You're just sitting there STARING at your food! Is something wrong with it?"
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
Gordon: no one needs to be tolerant or respectful of other people’s beliefs. Now pay attention, because this isn’t hard yet so so many just can’t figure it out: we let people to allow other people to HAVE those beliefs without interference. An example may be that you believe in a magic sky man or a flat earth or some other mythology. I don’t need to tolerate it, because I’m not forced to practice it or engage with it. I may think you’re an absolute low IQ fückbrains, but as long as you don’t interfere with me & my life, think all the stupid shít you want. I still get to think you’re a moron for it. It has nothing to do with tolerating or respecting, see??? I may tell you I think you’re an ídiot, but I don’t prevent you from expressing your ídiocy. I just laugh at you & criticize you. And if you think my opinion of your silly beliefs is unacceptable, it’s because you’re a snowflake.
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
"Pray: To ask the laws of the universe to be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy."
#5
After a job interview the manager said "lovely meeting you" and I answered "love you too".
Microb Studen 1 month ago
I once had a job interview, and when I shook the guys hand goodbye, my shirt burst open and I flashed him, I hurriedly fixed myself and left, I got offered a second interview, I didn't go..the shame was too much, it was like a benny hill sketch
Billo66 1 month ago
Yeah my friend said that to once. I think I activated the automatic banter mode between him and his wife every morning. Ok I have to go, see you later. He said "Ok see you later ...love you. We never mentioned it. I could see he was embarrassed. I think it was a mistake? Idk know, he's gone now so.. Love you too dude! :)
Rebecca McManus 4 weeks ago
I once asked an interviewer when they were due, needless to say they weren't pregnant and I didn't get the job
#6
One time someone said "what's up my dog!?" (I was new to English slang, not 1st language) I said "nothing much my weiner!" Like a weiner dog. Turns out that's not the saying, and he wasn't talking to me.
KatWitch57 1 month ago
Also indicates small male 'member' in some circles.
Load More Replies...The fear is that all of your embarrassment can turn into deep-seated shame if you keep ignoring your feelings. And the odds are that you don’t want memories of socially awkward encounters haunting your steps for the next few decades.
If you have trouble coming to terms with the mistakes you’ve made, you may want to reach out to a therapist. They’ll help you reframe your experiences and empower you. They’ll also help you create the behavioral tools you need to react to social stress better.
Just keep in mind that therapy isn’t magic. Mental health specialists guide and support you, but you have to do all the heavy emotional work yourself.
#7
One time at the cashier I was asked if I wanted the items double or single bagged. But I thought I heard "Are you single?" So, I confidently was like, "Im sorry, Im married" Showing my wedding ring. And the dude was like, "noooo.. noooo.. I asked if you want it single or double bagged." I wanted to disappear. I awkwardly laughed while I paid and left.
Awenpotato 1 month ago
And then he said oh you're not that bad looking, just one bag would be enough
Ace 1 month ago
And we never got the concept of somebody "bagging" your shopping for you.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
No! That sort of double bagging leads to more likelihood of tearing...
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Howl's sleeping castle 1 month ago (edited)
I was on a road trip with 3 of my friends. At a toll, the operator asked 'single?'. This usually means if it's one way or if we will be returning so that they can charge us accordingly. My friend, who was the driver, replied 'yes, all four of us'
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
No, that's kind of a sh!tty thing to do, because if anyone overhears you (general use of "you"), they're going to think that the other person was flirting with you/trying to hook up with you and wouldn't take no for an answer. That could even get the person in trouble with their boss or get them fired. Especially because they DIDN'T try to hook up with you, you just misheard them XD
Load More Replies... Binky Melnik 1 month ago
These are the times when I try to turn it into a joke by saying something like “Oh, I know; I was just funning you,” and that fails about half the time (like this one would have). The other half of the time, it’s so obvious I trying to cover for something embarrassing that we both laugh about my awkward failure to be funny, but at least we’re both laughing (at least until I get to the car and cry from embarrassment).
megabeth 1 month ago
Fixed it again Binky. Idk why you're getting down voted...
Load More Replies... #8
The cashier told me to "have a good day" but i had my headphones on and thought she said "do you need a receipt" so i said "no thank you" and she just said " oh ok."
Miki 1 month ago
This. Modern headphones have transparent mode but still- Take your headphones when talking with ppl!!
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Firstname Lastname 1 month ago
I always take my headphones off or pause a call when dealing with a cashier. It feels rude not to.
Beak Hookage 1 month ago
I always wear headphones to the shops because I have sensory issues but when I get to the cash register (or someone wants to talk to me for some other reason) I immediately take them off. Mind you, thanks to the sensory issues I still sometimes mishear anyway.
#9
I was at a red light and as the light turned green several more cars kept going thru the light. I started honking my horn and cursing at the cars and I started edging up to go because they just kept coming thru and finally someone yelled "it's a funeral procession [jerk]!!!".
Lee Banks 1 month ago
Oof. Did something similar. Turned onto a street and there were just all these motorcycles. It was Bike Week, so I just respectfully took my place and thought nothing of it until they all started yelling at me. Gave the ''w*f?!' gesture. It was a procession for a brutally m******d highway patrolman. Pulled over immediately, but the damage was done. Glad I was selling the car soon after.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
Oh, ouch. I can feel your discomfort from here, Lee. Didja feel compelled to dye your hair, get a pair of glasses with a cartoonishly large nose and mustache attached, and move a few hundred miles away? So far, you take second place on this page (after the guy who was going “Woo!” at the meeting because someone else was involuntarily making that noise). Ouchie; I need a warm bath in some magnesium salts to loosen up the knots that one and yours have given me. I hope you recover soon! ETA: W*F is a “W*F gesture”? All I can imagine is a ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Is there something specific that says “W*F”?
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moody goody 1 month ago
How would you know it was a funeral,.unless a banner on the cars said so, or there was a post stating it was a procession etc . In my country we have walks for funerals not cars.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
In my area, every car in the funeral procession has a clearly visible marker on top of the vehicle. There is no mistaking the line of cars for anything else.
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Michael Largey 1 month ago
Many funeral processions are led by a motorcycle cop doing precisely that.
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megabeth 1 month ago
It's not exactly "running". Picture a loooong line of cars traveling very close to each other. Not like one just like whatever.
Load More Replies...According to Verywell Mind, it’s important that you accept that embarrassment is unavoidable, but also temporary. “It’s not about trying to avoid [embarrassing moments] altogether (spoiler: that’s impossible), but more about being mentally prepared to handle them like a pro when they happen.”
To cope with those situations better, you should try to visualize positive outcomes. You’ll be less anxious if you imagine yourself handling embarrassment well.
What’s more, you can look at embarrassment as an opportunity to strengthen your resilience. In other words, you get better with practice. You’ll slowly build more and more confidence.
#10
I answered several questions with full confidence not knowing that person was on a phone call talking to someone else.
Maartje 1 month ago
I have done that. I feel that that could be the fault of the person on the phone, not telling you they are on a call.
Lazy Panda 2 1 month ago
Arghhhh! You've just reactivated a memory of someone getting into a lift with me, who started a conversation, but turned out he was on the phone with earpiece I didn't see. I felt such a fool.
moody goody 1 month ago
Every common these days not knowing if the person is on a call on his nonvisible airpods.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
No; it’s hilarious. You get hysterical about it afterwards in the restroom! 😳😆 Oh! I just remembered my very first civilian interview after leaving the military: I was twenty, and hadn’t been warned that my interviewer had no voice box (I’d never met anyone like that before), so when he introduced himself in a robotic voice, I was TERRIFIED. I didn’t know whether this was a practical joke (was my sense of humor being tested?) or whether it was some kinda new-fangled cyborg thingy (I was young, from a farm, and DUMB, but I read BYTE magazine in which a lotta the tech seemed very sci-if to me). I decided to pretend I was unfazed, but I wasn’t able to make out a LOTTA words and became so frustrated and frightened about being frustrated I burst into tears. The interviewer felt bad and called in his secretary who lead me out and offered me tea, hugged me, and apologized for having forgotten to prepare me. I didn’t get the job, for which I was hella grateful!
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The Chronic Insomniac 1 month ago
People with an earbud in will make direct eye contact with you while being on a phone call then look at you like you're an idiot when you respond to them. Stop staring directly at my face while you talk then!!!
Ronnie Row 1 month ago
Been there done that, took me at least 5 years to realize people were talking on Bluetooth headphones
#11
I was buying a slushie that was 3.28 dollars and I gave him 3. He said "you need 28 more cents" but I thought he said you have an extra 28 cents so I said "oh no that's okay" and he was like "you still have to pay..."
moody goody 1 month ago
Something similar happened to my sister, she was buying a piece of cloth, it was valued st 45, she argues with the shopkeeper, no no.. my friends took it from here last week for 55, I'm paying 55 not what your asking, shopekeeper was amused. He had to explain tht 45 is less than 55. ( imagine this conversation in Hindi, and that's not our first language).
SourQueen 3 weeks ago
Heyyy! I'm blonde and I resemble that remark! XD It's wild you were downvoted twice for this. I thought it was funny.
Load More Replies... #12
Worked at a gas station, guy comes in and says "I'm at pump 8, can I get some gas?" And I say "would you like that in a cup or a cone?" Idk what I was on.
What is the most socially awkward situation that you’ve ever found yourself in, Pandas? What is the latest social cue you missed that made you feel deeply embarrassed?
How do you tend to react when you mess up and find yourself stuck in situations like these? Share your thoughts and advice in the comments section at the very bottom of this post.
#13
I was walking out of a store and I thought some random persons car was my moms car so I opened the door and someone was sitting there and I screamed.
Bill Walker 1 month ago
I did this once in Browning, Montana. I am very white and the car I accidently got into was that of a Native American. I am glad my buddy, who was also Native, intervened. I was one car off, they both had the same car!
Aileen Grist 1 month ago
I've put daisy and butterfly decals on my car as my hubby would get in any red car - he's a daydreamer - and he still tried to get in someone else's car
KatWitch57 1 month ago
I was about 10yrs abd was walking along the road with my mum. I stopped to tie my shoelace and she grabbed the arm of some random teenage boy.
Ge Po 1 month ago
walked over to my car (citroen, cobber/orange coloured, most around here are grey) and pressed the key. Car didn't unlock. Tried a few times more, walked closer to the drivers door and tried again, but no luck. (It had happened before that the key didn't work properly.) Finally threw a look inside and noticed a bag on the passenger seat that wasn't mine. Stepped back to take another look and noticed the car wasn't mine. Two numbers in the number late were different. Turned around, to see my car about five spots further on, lights flicking on when I pushed the key-button. Looked around to make sure no one else had noticed.
Philippa Davies 1 month ago
Oh God… I’ve done this before. I think I was meant to be going back to my husband’s car or maybe even mine. Guy in the car didn’t scream, but he did look at me like “um, what are you doing?!” I was humiliated
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
I was out with my mum and stepdad at a tourist spot, but had had enough and couldn't see hem so I just went back to the car. I opened the door and realised 'our car isn't this clean' so it was just another car that looked the same. Thankfully I don't think anyone saw, but I still find it funny we were at a crowded place and not only did they leave our car unlocked, but someone else did too, way more trusting than me.
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
Back in college, I was delivering pizza. After doing so, I walked back to my car, put the key in the ignition, and it wouldn't turn. I'm cussing (it was a piece of garbage car) and wondering what I was going to do. Then I noticed some things in the car that didn't belong. Then I looked around and realized it wasn't my car. My car was parked behind. It was a nearly identical shitty Chevy Chevette.
#14
Shook the waiter's hand when he was gesturing for me to hand him the menu.
Never recovered.
michael reid 1 month ago
When I was about 8 the dentist was gesturing to my mum about my teeth and I went to shake his hand. He was like what are you doing and I said I thought you were going to shake my hand. He said you can shake it next time. So next time, I reminded him of that, and we shook hands.
Michael Largey 1 month ago
These days if I get a real paper menu, the waiter deserves my handshake.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Had that happened to me, it woulda been my last meal EVER in a restaurant. 🤦🏻♀️
#15
The rainforest cafe in galveston has a ride and the same worker directed us to the ride, sold us tickets, operated the ride, and was at the gift shop counter, my mom said "oh my god you keep popping up like an oompa loompa."
He also happened to be short and mixed.
#16
Last night my neighbor was walking by my house and instead of waving hello I started clapping...as I said hi.
Michael Largey 1 month ago (edited)
We introverts applaud anyone who walks by our house - and keeps on going.
#17
I'm a waitress... typically as soon as the table sets I bring chips & salsa along with a hot soup !! There was a toddler about 2 years old sitting on the edge with her high chair!
Soooo as I was placing down the things I covered the soups and said "ohh be careful, I don't want her accidentally putting her hand in."
They all look at each other & as I look for the baby's hands, she had no arms.😭😭😭😭
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
I know this isn’t relevant to the story, but what on earth drink is served with a ring of red pepper floating on top?
Brian Droste 1 month ago
I believe this was an honest mistake. You didn't notice the baby had no arms.
les 1 month ago (edited)
how the f**k are you supposed to et that burger? does any human have a big enough mouth? if your burger needs a stake through its heart to stay together it not a burger but a vampire. also put it on a plate
WubiDubi 1 month ago (edited)
This is health and safety which parents should respect. One expects toddlers to have 4 limbs, the vast vast majority do. Offending parents is fine, the kid isn't offended, got food and cares not at all, 2 years olds are 95% food oriented.
#18
Was in an elevator with a woman in a wheelchair. Me being me, decided small talk was a good idea. First line I opened with was "great day to go for a jog really".
Leg less In Minneapolis 1 month ago
I am in a wheelchair and that would make me laugh until I had to pee
Kelly Scott 1 month ago
We had an extremely heavy lady where I worked and one day, being completely oblivious as usual, I decided to tell her a story I'd read about a heavy woman in a dog show with a little dog. I was just about to the end when I realized who I was talking to. I've never been so mortified with myself since. The end of the story, which I had to tell this woman while I was now blushing and cringing, was that the woman at the dog show fell on her dog and k****d it. The woman I was telling the story to genuinely laughed, so there's that. But OMG. I honestly would have felt better if she slapped me and I sure would have deserved it.
Charlotte Ingle 1 month ago
Eh, I'd just interpret it as nice day to go for some exercise which in my case happens to be wheeling
Load More Replies... Billo66 1 month ago
My two aunts and one uncle were triplets, all born deaf. So once they had something to do so one of my aunts boyfriends chilled at my house, he was also deaf. I asked if he had been to any good concerts.... Tbf he did say he went to see Rick James.
Remi (He/Him) 1 month ago
From what I've heard, the best music for deaf people is something with a great bass bc you feel that
Load More Replies... Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Ack! I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been speaking with someone who’s blind and said things like “Oh, look at the _____!” or “Did you see _____ TV show last night?” and other absurd things to say to blind people. I swear the Fates are bored those days and decide to have some fun with us! 🤬
Bewitched One 1 month ago
I’d be willing to bet the blind people don’t mind being treated like a normal human being as much as you think they do 😌
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Smeghead Tribble Down Under 1 month ago (edited)
I wouldn't dare speak to anyone in wheelchair. No matter what you say it's wrong. Been loudly verbally ab.used for politely offering to get something off a high shelf in Woolies for someone who clearly couldn't get up, and once for holding a door open for another. I have a hard enough time with social anxiety without copping that when I truly meant no offence.
Starbug 1 month ago
Yeah some people are just jerks (wheelchair or not) but just treat them as you would anyone else. If they need help they'll ask. And, unless it's a life or death situation or you have explicit permission, do not touch their chair to push them around!
Load More Replies... #19
I once asked a woman if I could pet her baby.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
Ugh. I remember when I was dating someone and she took me to meet her family. I was CRAZY-nervous as they were a bit on the conservative side, and her sister showed me her new baby. I care not at all for babies, but was trying to make a good impression. It was dressed in lavender clothes, and I asked “Is it a baby?” when what I’d *meant* to ask was “Is it a boy?” and wowie; that caused an amount for offense i wouldn't have thought possible! When my GF asked angrily under her breath “How could you?!” I frantically tried to explain how I simply tripped over my tongue and hadn’t meant to say that, and then excused myself and practically FLEW to the bathroom. I was toying with the idea of climbing out the window when her aunt knocked and joined me in the bathroom to let me know it was okay, that everyone was actually laughing. I was delighted to discover they actually *were*, because when my GF relayed what I’d told her, they thought it was funny.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Apparently, they were merely “conservative” compared to the average San Franciscan and not on an absolute scale. Whew!
Load More Replies... WubiDubi 1 month ago
In Greece grandmothers pet your baby, toddler and 5 year old on the head. Also old men, priests...mayors..
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Why do grandmothers in Greece feel the need to pet old en, priests, and mayors on the head? And why do they ignore men in between five-years-old and old? 😉
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#20
As a bartender I once said "It's no good, all worries" to a customer. I still think about it.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
That’s better than my brain’s motto (“It seemed like a good idea at the time”). (And no, it’s not Spoonerized; I just wish my brain had better ideas.) (Sigh.)
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 1 month ago
Considering what bartenders hear all day from people, not surprising.
#21
I was in a store with my husband and i was looking for a perfume. I accidentally hurt a woman with my purse, said sorry to her and told her “sorry i didn’t see you”. She replied “Don’t mind. Me too.” She was blind 😭
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
This one’s actually funny! I appreciate people who ameliorate my embarrassment/shame/horror/whatever emotion with humor.
Angela C 1 month ago
My family goes on vacation to the same place every year, and back in the late 90s the property next to where we stay was a camp for blind kids. The complex we stay at has a communal fire pit and one of the girls from the camp would walk over and hang out by the fire. Well one night she was getting ready to leave and my grandpa asked her if she was nervous walking back in the dark and she replied "for me it's always dark"
Doug Moyer 1 month ago
A guy that hangs out sometimes at my local is legally blind (just enough sight to avoid walking into a tree). He makes a lot of these jokes. "Hey, Doug! I haven't seen you in a long time!"
#22
Knew someone who had cancer, they were talking to me about a big procedure and I was listening intently, nodding and giving responses. I even said "thank you so much for telling me it means a lot that you'd talk to me about something like this". ... They were on the phone with someone else! It went on for five minutes before I realized.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
Yeah, but you’d think the fact that wasnt any eye contact would be a BIG clue. 🤦🏻♀️ How awful. 🤦🏻♀️
Load More Replies... #23
Art class…there was this girl next to me drawing a full body OC and I said “I love your body!” she said “thank you- wait what?”
#24
Instead of saying 'madam' to a client, I called her 'mommy' 😭💀
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
In May, I was waiting at urgent care to be checked in to be seen. The lady at the counter was beautifully made up and was wearing an expensive wig. While she asked me questions, I kept calling her “ma’am.” At one point, she turned to grab a form and I saw an Adam’s apple. My eyes immediately went to her chest where I confirmed it wasn't a lady. Clutching my paperwork, I ran back to the waiting area and burst into tears because I hadn’t meant to hurt anyone, and didn’t know whether to apologize. My friend said, “Bink, you made his day! Do you realize how hard he worked to look *just* right? He’s going to be telling ALL his friends tonight that someone at the VA called him ‘ma’am’!” I started drying my tears and was feeling a little better when he called my name and absolutely BEAMED at me. She grabbed my hand and said “See that smile? YOU did that!” I’m still not 100% I did the right thing, but he DID look happy. ☺️
Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
Was buying a ticket at a counter where the cashier was by the voice and look obviously a young man but they had on makeup and fingernail polish. They had a feminine name on their nametag so when we finished the transaction I made a point of thanking them by name. They gave a sweet little smile like they realized I had acknowledged them. It's easy to make someone's day better by doing a small thing like that!
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timhood 1 month ago
I mean, probably shouldn't have said madam, either. Almost no woman wants to be called madam or ma'am.
#25
I was at prom and I saw my senior friend and her bf sitting on a bench outside. So I walk over and I say "well if it isn't my favorite couple" little did I realize her bf had literal tears streaming down his face. They were breaking up.
Cougar Allen 1 month ago
Obviously she didn't break up with him before the prom because then she wouldn't have a prom date, but then she chose to break up with him AT the prom and couldn't wait a few days?? You are not the one who should be embarrassed.
Megalodon Meg 1 month ago
What if she caught him cheating that night? What if he shoved her? What if he said some awful s**t at the dance? Don't be so quick to judge.
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#26
One time I went on a hike with my boyfriend and his family like 2 months into dating (and this was the first weekend I got to meet them bc they live halfway across the country) and his grandmother had [passed away] that year and they had this little Tupperware with them and the mom (whose mom was the one who passed away) had pulled it out and I forget why I thought it was relevant (I think they wanted to buy some taffy earlier in the way while we were shopping around) but I went "oh is that taffy?" And then was told no -it was in fact some of her mothers ashes and then they spread them in a beautiful spot on the hike and cried together and it was so sweet and I was mortified.
Thankfully my bf and his dad thought it was funny and no one was truly offended bc I wasn't told prior that this was happening at all but I wanted to [disappear] in that moment.
Jaya 1 month ago
Nobody can blame OP for that. It's a tupperware container, it makes way more sense to assume that it's food than to assume it's someone's ashes.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
No kidding! Who puts ashes in a food container, and *especially* Tupperware? The chances of someone opening it looking for a snack are tremendous!
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Ellie Sakurai 1 month ago
In my country, it is not common to cremate people, much less keep their ashes (people are just buried). Then I would be embarrassed and shocked at the same time 😂
Deson Bowenford 1 month ago
It would have been worse if the mother's name was Taffy. I would have gone diving for a nearby cliff.
#27
When I started working at Chick-fil-a, I was learning to say "my pleasure" instead of "you're welcome". I once told a guest "you're my pleasure."
Upstaged75 1 month ago
Employees are required to be super helpful and overly polite at Chic-fil-a. Due to the owners being religious freaks.
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DeoManus Argentem 1 month ago
I believe the founder said he got it from Ritz Carlton, a company that's famous for its focus on customer service. Has nothing to do with their religious founders. Publix (Florida grocery chain) also practices this.
#28
Hugged the CEO of my company cuz I thought he was giving the signal for the Handshake-to-hug. He was not.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
I’ve seen some more boisterous people do this thing where they reach out for a handshake and as the other person begins to extend their own hand, the initiator moves their hand down & out & back before bringing it into the shake in a rather animated way. It’s easy to see how they could be extending for a one-armed bro hug.
#29
A patient of mine was getting deployed for the military a few days after their visit. As they were leaving I said "good luck with deportation."
#30
At college my friend invited me to sit with him and his friends while we were getting food and before we sat down. I went to a random group of girls thinking that was the table and that he just hadn't sat down yet. I started chatting and I asked them if they knew my friend and they were like "um no, why?" And then I realized I just barged in on their friend group.
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
Did you read the Reddit post? Her MS made it rather difficult to hold her food tray for long periods of time & it was laborious to carry it from the food line to the table in the first place. The difficulty was minimal if she’d grab her tray and beeline it to a table. - Ok, I’m totally lying; made this up. However, why ask a cynical question that has plenty of plausible answers?
Load More Replies... #31
In an effort to sympathize with someone who said that she has "pretty severe epilepsy" I promptly responded with "awe so does my cat". The silence that followed was so loud
Upstaged75 1 month ago
One of my friends currently has breast cancer. (She's going to be fine, treatment is almost over) We were talking about something embarrassing and I stupidly said "OMG I'd die!" 😫😫🤷♀️ What the heck is wrong with me??? Thankfully we've been friends since we were toddlers and she doesn't hold my idiocy against me.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I mean, OP was absolutely trying to empathize, and while a pet isn't a human being, one does have to medicate the pet to control a condition like epilepsy, and it's not like you can explain to an animal why you're jamming pills down its throat, so OP probably faced her own struggles with epilepsy, so to speak, through dealing with her cat's condition. Again, cat with epilepsy is NOT the same as human with epilepsy, but OP was absolutely on the right page, IMO.
#32
I once asked a girl in a wheelchair how her shoes were so clean.
Mike F 1 month ago
I was transporting a young guy who was in a wheelchair, he was injured doing sports thing. He was tired but still had to "sign" the paperwork and said sorry for the crappy writing. I told him I don't care if you sign it with your left foot, he laughed and said that wouldn't work either. I d@mn near died.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Hey, you gave him a good laugh though! :D When my dad was still alive and when he was more coherent, I'd sometimes make jokes like that to him and he'd laugh until he choked and then I'd feel bad XD
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#33
Was buying pasteries in a bakery, said "you're welcome!" when the casheier asked if I would pay with cash or card 🙈
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
I work in an all night garage and one day, when I was paying for something in a shop with my debit card, I watched the screen carefully and then announced “that’s all gone through for you!” to the surprised cashier. Luckily I don’t get embarrassed easily. I thought it was hilarious.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
“that’s all gone through for you!”: I have no idea what this means and so can’t tell whether it was funny or embarrassing. Is it garage humor and that’s why I don’t get it (because I’ve never worked in a garage)?
Load More Replies... #34
I had an interview and asked to add the recruiter on linkedin after, he said yes then stretched out his hand for a handshake and I put my phone in his hand thinking he wanted to put in his linkedin info.
Veronica Semler 3 days ago
I went on a date recently to a cute little coffee shop, had a great time with the guy and all. He's walking me to my car, there's that buzz in the air of a kiss happening soon. But he holds out his hand, indicating he wants to hold mine. Silly me thought he wanted to shake hands, and I thought, "Who shakes hands after a date?" So I just straight go for a hug (you know, get in close to initiate a kiss), and he tells me, "I was wanting to kiss your hand." 🫠
#35
Was writing for an exam and when the exam was over, a teacher came to me and put his hand forward and nonchalant me, gave my hand back as if it was a marriage proposal, not realising he was there collecting pens they provided us.....I failed the exam, and failed in life as well🙂
#36
Said I love you to a stranger while trick or treating.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
It’d depend entirely on what the sweets are! Almond Roca? Sure; “I love you!” is appropriate. Formerly-melted chocolate that’s now firm again but the sugar, milk solids, and fat have separated? “Thanks a lot” said with a sour face is more like it.
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#37
In my freshman year of college, there were a boy and a girl in my course who used to spend a lot of time together, playing cards, telling dirty jokes and other stuff, they seemed like real bros. One day I'm playing cards with them and I tell them how cute their sibling bond is. A week later I found out they are dating.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago
They seem like аssholes to me for not correcting OP right then and there about their relationship. Having to wait a week to find out they’re a couple strikes me as pretty аssholish when they coulda laughed right then and there and said “She/he’s my GF/BF!” That wouldn't have been awkward at all!
ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago
Or maybe everyone but OP knew and given that it’s nothing close to a secret and OP just happened to be oblivious, they thought she was trying to throw some shade at them and quietly (and politely) ignored it, thinking to themselves, “what was that all about?” 🤷🏼♂️
Load More Replies... ॐBoyGanesh 1 month ago (edited)
My hubby & I have been together for 20 years. We have an 11yo son. We have the same last name. He & I look nothing alike. We’re best friends, the masters of parallel play & finish each others sentences. A distant neighbor once mentioned how awesome it was to see two single brothers work so well together at everything, especially raising a child of one of them. How brothers can be the best of friends and even though “the boy” doesn’t have a mother (she died shortly after his birth) we two were providing more than everything he needed. This was at a community planning meeting. Seems he had no idea that gay couples existed. Or that they could marry, be in long-term relationships and really really like each other’s company. We didn’t correct him because we each were individually trying to figure out the mental gymnastics that prevented him from recognizing the most obvious explanation. The oddest part was that our district is know as “queer hippy off-grid outlaw” and one of the few places where over half of the households are same-s*x or identify as queer. It’s literally what our area has been known for since the 1980s & what attracts most transplants.
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
When I was in high school, a number of people thought my brother and I were twins (we are two years apart, and some of those people were in my year level so I don't know why they thought that) and even more thought we were a couple (even though we spent no time together in school). It was really weird.
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#38
My old coworker was telling us about her surgery she had on her hand and i said “oh for cerebral palsy?” Bruh i meant to say carpal tunnel 😭😭 they were just standing there staring at me. It was so embarrassing.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Whenever I find myself in these situations (it happens more often than I would like to admit; I am TERRIBLE at speaking out loud) I just say "Oh, jeez, I forgot how to speak English today" while waving my arms around. Self-deprecating humor is a load-bearing coping mechanism! XD And a joke (even at one's own expense) will usually help break the awkward tension for everyone.
#39
Walking by, I thought a co-worker was reaching for a fist bump. He actually moved his arm to lean against a scaffolding and that's right as my fist made contact with his 💀💀 He looked at me sideways too 😭 absolutely excruciating.
#40
When i was fifteen i went to seaworld and was taking pictures on my camera. a woman and her daughter came over and asked if i could take a picture of them both on her phone but i thought she asked “were you just taking pictures of us” so i just said “no sorry” and walked off.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Who cares? OP will never see them again in their lives and no one is FORCED to do the "could you take a photo of us" favor while in public XD
Load More Replies... #41
I told a cashier she could keep the change. She said there was no change. I had exactly the amount of money.. never going there again.
timhood 1 month ago
You're the only one who even thinks of that situation. It was NBD to the cashier.
Huddo's sister 3 weeks ago
I would have thought they were making a typical dad joke, saying to keep the change when there was none. I remember both my grandfathers saying that a lot.
#42
I told what I thought was an old lady she didn't look a day over 40, she wasn't.
Roxy222uk 1 month ago
Never, ever, ever put a number to a person’s presumed age! Something like “I was thinking how approachable/elegant/full of energy you look” is a much better reply
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
Last night I wore a simple cat costume when I went to eat dinner, and the waitress said she liked my costume. Because I am incapable of handling a compliment without self-deprecating myself in some way, I grinned and said "Thank you! I know I'm WAY too old to be dressing up for Halloween, but hey!" and she replied "You look VERY young!" I was like :| I'm 43 XD Don't get me wrong, I was happy for the "young" compliment, but I agree - I've gotten the "you don't look a day over x age!" comment before and it's always so ugh XD
Load More Replies... #43
After giving an interview, I stretched out to shake his hand and my brain broke simultaneously. I mashed up "It was nice to get to know you a little better" and "have a nice day" and instead I said, "nice knowin' ya. We both were shocked...I stood there with my mouth hanging open as he looked down at the floor and then walked away. He didn't get the job. This was 15 years ago.
Mike, buddy, I am still rooting for you.
#44
When I was little, we went out for dinner and the waitress was older and had kind of a raspy voice. And when she walked away from our table I turned to my mom and, quite loudly, I said "I thought she was a witch or something!"
#45
Almost hit a woman walking her child with my bike cuz I was doing my Duolingo while riding. I was thinking about Spanish so I just said "espanol" as I rode away.
patricia patricia 1 month ago
Jesucristo! How can people be so irresponsible and stupid? Doing your Duolingo while riding??? You could have k****d somebody!
#46
So where i live we do cheek to cheek kisses when shaking in certain times and with certain people and all, I never liked it because it's a tradition that changes depending on the person. So i once shaked hands with my friend's UNCLE, he's an old guy so i assumed he would do that because it's tradition... he didn't, and i had to kinda pull him in, the worst thing is that I didn't know how many and what cheek, it was the most embarrassing thing in my entire life, the worst thing is that I could see my friend's face cringing while shaking hands, then he started laughing uncontrollably.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
When I was married, an uncle-in-law diеd. He was the only non-racist in the family, and was my cheerleader to the rest of the family. (I’m white; they’ré Chinese.) Another uncle-in-law who was especially unfond of me because of my whiteness approached me and, trying waaay to hard to try to get on his good side, I smiled broadly, heartily shook his hand, and said “It is SO good to see you!” Then, keeping the smile on my face in some kinda grisly rictus, I turned to my then-husband and said quietly, “Please take me out to the parking lot.” There, I explained to him my faux pas and *begged* him to let me sit in the car. He (the happiest human being i have EVER known in my 65 years of life) laughed so hard I was sure he’d wet himself, but convinced me to go back in and he’d keep me away from the uncle. Geez, did I ever feel stupid for seeming SO pleased to see someone … AT A FUNERAL. Ugh; I’m wincing just recounting the story!
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
And speaking of faux pas, my folks attended a presidential inauguration because my mom’s twin sister married a somewhat powerful man. My folks were farm people, though my mom had been quite worldly before marriage. Dad’s talking to a group of people (I no longer remember the topic of discussion), but he made an error. Seeing the looks on the faces of the people to whom he was talking, he asked “Did I just make a fox pass?” My guess is my mom diеd inside, as she firmly ushered him away from everyone and apparently gave him what-for. This was hilarious when I was a kid, but these days, I’m actually really impressed that he knew the phrase but had apparently never heard it spoken aloud and thus mispronounced it. For a man who bailed hay and milked cows all his waking hours, I’m proud he used the term correctly. And I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve ever said anything positive about him in all the time on BP … and he mispronounced something! 😀
Load More Replies... #47
I work at Walmart and a customer came up to me with a translator for Spanish so I pulled out my translators and started helping them and then realized halfway I was speaking half gibberish bc my translator was in French not Spanish.
#48
The executive in a shop wished me merry christmas thrice. I couldn't understand, so i said it's ok because I was too embarrassed to ask again. The fourth time the person and his colleagues yelled merry christmas in a chorus.
#49
We went to a gunrange with cousins and the instructor told us he used to be a cop, my cousin asked him why srent you anymore? And he said my mother had a tumor in her brain amd had to get surgery 14 times so i just said oh, my condolences. Turns out he wasnt done with his sentence as he said so i am taking care of her now. Was between laughing and cringing (who survives 14 surgeries???)
The Majestic Opossum 1 month ago
OP sounds like either an idiot or a dóuche. Lots of people survive well over 14 surgeries, especially for a d****d brain tumor. And dear God I hope they didn't laugh right after he said he had left his career to care for his sick mother...
Hassel Davidhoff 1 month ago (edited)
Could've just been a young person. Young adults slip up with stuff like this a lot. Naivety is a hell of a drüg.
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Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
Well, at least there won’t be any more surgeries on that leg! (I am nothing if not excellent at finding silver linings!) (But seriously, I’m really sorry about your leg. 😞 I really hope your other one is so excellent that it more than makes up for the missing one!)
Load More Replies... #50
I was in Basic training and the commander had sent us on some random errand that required an empty bottle. Had to go up to every DS truck and beg for one - one of them just looked at me and handed me a bottle with murky brown liquid. I wasn't the brightest back then so I just took it and went away and went to dump it out on the grass.
My battle buddies screeched to high heavens - it was a spit bottle for dip. fyi I didn't graduate.
Binky Melnik 1 month ago (edited)
Roxy’s right. People who chew tobacco absorb the nicotine through their gums, but if they were to swallow it (the wad of tobacco), they’d become hella sick 🤮, so they spit it out, usually into whatever container is handy, which is great for the rest of us because if they spit it onto the ground, we’d step in it. OP was given one such container (yuck!), as I expect the аsshole who gave it to him was being a jackаss.
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What do you think ?
Lee Banks 1 month ago
My buddy and I were bartending at this really awesome dive in the Midwest. A guy comes in looking a little sad, but friendly. Night goes on, and he slowly drinks his beers. We get him a little cheered up. This was right after the Oscar's. My coworker starts gushing about Heath Ledger and what a shame he had passed too soon etc. etc... Dude starts getting quiet and sad again. It was was Michael Shannon. Who had just list the Oscar to Ledger. I have never seen my friend so embarrassed. She bought him an apology shot and hid the rest of the night.
megabeth 1 month ago
To be fair, was a dive bar in the Midwest! I wouldn't have clocked that either!
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 1 month ago (edited)
I probably shouldn't tell this one, but it was a doozy of humiliation all around. I am not and have never been much of a lady's man, so no weird adolescent boast is intended. I was dancing on a stage AT A CHURCH DANCE when Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark." Ya know, the song where he picks Monica from Friends up onto stage with him? I saw a woman looking at me, so I turned to her put out my arm and when she paused for a second, I said, "come on, ya wanna do like Monica?" She yelled back, "I'll go get my coat." Confused I jumped down and asked her "Are you leaving?" She answered, "I thought you wanted to me to do like Monica?" This was shortly after Clinton left office. She had a different Monica in mind. Mortified that I had just shouted out a proposition from a stage, I pointed out my now ashen-faced platonic female friend, and quietly explained, "You're too kind, but I came with her," to which she answered, "oh no, he didn't!"
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I'd like you all to understand that I am 43 years old and I still remember and cringe about the time in third grade when all of us were signing each others' yearbooks at the end of the school year. I was a weird child and rarely had any friends, so only the teachers had signed my yearbook. Lo and behold, I see the most popular boy in class (who was also pretty cute, in my opinion) walking towards me, his yearbook in his hands, slightly stretched out to me. He came up to me and I immediately GRABBED his yearbook out of his hands and handed him mine and started signing his yearbook. There was a moment of incredibly awkward silence and then he said "Oh, uh, sorry, I was just going to ask if you knew where Ryan went." (Ryan was his best friend.) I STILL remember the embarrassment XD Adam, if you're out there, the frizzy weird girl from 3rd grade is STILL cringing inside!
Caffeinated Ape 1 month ago
Oof. Once at some social thing I'd been dragged to and convinced to mingle at, I was talking about something being pithy and the person I was talking to was pronouncing it "pity" and I was too drunk to click that that was just their accent and I kept correcting them. Obnoxious... on the plus side, at least that's the worst thing I've ever done while drunk, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've so much as gotten tipsy in the last decade so I'm not in danger of a repeat performance any time soon.
Sarah 1 month ago (edited)
New job, went for drink with Australian colleague and as we were getting coats on, I started showing him Irish dancing but in a jokey way. He found it funny . Next day in loos, I decided to see what I looked like so started doing a full on jig in mirror. As you can guess my manager walked in. Not my immediate manager, one level above. My managers manager .It was my first week so couldn’t explain as still too new and didn’t really know her. . Since then I have told her and rest of team at team drinks and yes, I am asked to repeat the performance which I gladly do in middle of pub. It’s just a few seconds but makes everyone laugh
Lee Banks 1 month ago
My buddy and I were bartending at this really awesome dive in the Midwest. A guy comes in looking a little sad, but friendly. Night goes on, and he slowly drinks his beers. We get him a little cheered up. This was right after the Oscar's. My coworker starts gushing about Heath Ledger and what a shame he had passed too soon etc. etc... Dude starts getting quiet and sad again. It was was Michael Shannon. Who had just list the Oscar to Ledger. I have never seen my friend so embarrassed. She bought him an apology shot and hid the rest of the night.
megabeth 1 month ago
To be fair, was a dive bar in the Midwest! I wouldn't have clocked that either!
Load More Replies... BrunoVI 1 month ago (edited)
I probably shouldn't tell this one, but it was a doozy of humiliation all around. I am not and have never been much of a lady's man, so no weird adolescent boast is intended. I was dancing on a stage AT A CHURCH DANCE when Bruce Springsteen's "Dancing in the Dark." Ya know, the song where he picks Monica from Friends up onto stage with him? I saw a woman looking at me, so I turned to her put out my arm and when she paused for a second, I said, "come on, ya wanna do like Monica?" She yelled back, "I'll go get my coat." Confused I jumped down and asked her "Are you leaving?" She answered, "I thought you wanted to me to do like Monica?" This was shortly after Clinton left office. She had a different Monica in mind. Mortified that I had just shouted out a proposition from a stage, I pointed out my now ashen-faced platonic female friend, and quietly explained, "You're too kind, but I came with her," to which she answered, "oh no, he didn't!"
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 month ago
I'd like you all to understand that I am 43 years old and I still remember and cringe about the time in third grade when all of us were signing each others' yearbooks at the end of the school year. I was a weird child and rarely had any friends, so only the teachers had signed my yearbook. Lo and behold, I see the most popular boy in class (who was also pretty cute, in my opinion) walking towards me, his yearbook in his hands, slightly stretched out to me. He came up to me and I immediately GRABBED his yearbook out of his hands and handed him mine and started signing his yearbook. There was a moment of incredibly awkward silence and then he said "Oh, uh, sorry, I was just going to ask if you knew where Ryan went." (Ryan was his best friend.) I STILL remember the embarrassment XD Adam, if you're out there, the frizzy weird girl from 3rd grade is STILL cringing inside!
Caffeinated Ape 1 month ago
Oof. Once at some social thing I'd been dragged to and convinced to mingle at, I was talking about something being pithy and the person I was talking to was pronouncing it "pity" and I was too drunk to click that that was just their accent and I kept correcting them. Obnoxious... on the plus side, at least that's the worst thing I've ever done while drunk, and I can count on one hand the number of times I've so much as gotten tipsy in the last decade so I'm not in danger of a repeat performance any time soon.
Sarah 1 month ago (edited)
New job, went for drink with Australian colleague and as we were getting coats on, I started showing him Irish dancing but in a jokey way. He found it funny . Next day in loos, I decided to see what I looked like so started doing a full on jig in mirror. As you can guess my manager walked in. Not my immediate manager, one level above. My managers manager .It was my first week so couldn’t explain as still too new and didn’t really know her. . Since then I have told her and rest of team at team drinks and yes, I am asked to repeat the performance which I gladly do in middle of pub. It’s just a few seconds but makes everyone laugh
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