In every millennial's life, there is that one day and that one time that you say something to yourself or out loud and then stop for a second in awe. Whatever the sentence was, you couldn’t have imagined saying it unless, well, you’re middle-aged. Be it “I am looking forward to going to bed” or “Why is the music so loud in here?!” and then all of a sudden, the moment of realization hits and the lightbulb switches on: I am definitely ageing. And before you change your mind from getting takeout to actually going home and cooking the chicken that’s been sitting in your fridge for a few days now, take a look at the list below of the best things people have caught themselves saying that made them realize they’re slowly knocking at the middle-aged people's door.
The online community r/AskReddit, labelling themselves as “the place to ask and answer thought-provoking questions,” was a perfect platform for the user naxxfish to fire it out to the millennials: “What was the most middle-aged thing you caught yourself saying recently?” And, well, the answers were ranging from hilarious to hysterical to "I can actually totally relate." Vote for your favorite ones and let us know yours!
More info: Reddit
Not something I said but I just stood out on my porch this morning drinking my coffee and someone drove by pretty fast and I thought “that’s way too fast”
I tried listening to the iTunes top 100 yesterday for a change of pace and it all sounded like hot garbage, “WHAT ARE KIDS EVEN LISTENING TO THESE DAYS?!”
Scrolling through my Spotify and constantly asking who the hell are these people?
I slept wrong and haven’t been able to turn my head for three days.
You want to go out for dinner? Oh no, I can’t; I have chicken in the fridge that I have to cook before it goes bad
"Oh no thank, you. I can't have caffeine this late in the day or I'll never get to sleep tonight."
My spouse was offering me the last soda from the fridge. It was 1pm.
I was venting to a coworker about these noisy bastards living next to me. I actually said the words, “goddamn teenagers and their Bluetooth machines”. I stand by my admonition but man it was my greatest age leap forward since I embraced the sensible Toyota.
Had a riveting conversation with some friends about the best office chairs for lumbar support.
Wanted to buy a snack and then thought, "no, I have food at home"
Some kids ran through my lawn the other day. I'm still recovering.
When my wife asked if there was anything she need to pick up at the store, and I responded: "I think we're out of asparagus."
Not sure what foul demon possessed me to to say those words.
My housemate: you want a drink?
Me: Nah, man. I haven't had a drink in... six months maybe? More?
My housemate: You stopped drinking?
Me: I'm not SOBER or anything, it's just that alcohol makes me sleepy.
Why do I get up every day and crack like a glow stick with out the glow it’s so disappointing.
"They just don't make them like they used to" them being good wood dressers
"When you leave a room, turn the light OFF!"
I've become my dad.....
"Can the kids (in the park outside) shut up"
I am the grumpy old lady now.
I can't fix one thing in my house without at least 15 minutes of complaining about the previous owners handiwork.
I slapped a crate I had strapped onto the back of my car and said "This isn't going anywhere"
Quit touching the god damn thermostat, you’re driving the bill up.
In a conversation with a friend "I managed to find a really good knife block recently..."
I had my bachelor party in Vegas recently.
I went to bed because I was tired, not because I was sloppy drunk like every other time I went to Vegas. Fml I’m old now
“No, I’m okay. It just takes my back a little while to loosen up in the morning.”
"I can't have curry after 6 or I'll have heartburn all night."