Double standards are everywhere and they’re out in the open—you don’t even need a magnifying glass to spot them. Whether in real life or in media, we’re constantly bombarded with examples of how men and women are treated and portrayed differently even though we’re talking about the same thing.
Reddit user Meet_Me_In_Heaven asked their fellow redditors to share the most egregious examples of double standards that "disgust" them, so have a look below, and let us know what you think they say about the state of society in the 21st century, dear Readers. Upvote the double standards that you agree have no place in the modern world and share your own examples in the comments.
One crucial real-life issue and pervasive gender double standard that we’ve been hearing and writing about is that the Covid-19 pandemic disproportionally affects women. Not only have women been shown to be more at risk of losing their jobs during the lockdowns, but they also spend more unpaid time at home doing chores and taking care of family members. Even in developed countries, there’s still an expectation that women ought to do the lion’s share of the housework.
I'm a straight male. I went to a gay bar with some gay women and their straight married women friends. One of the straight women was being basically sexually harrassed by another gay woman there, to the point of being chased around the table, all the while saying she was married to a guy and she wanted nothing to do with it. The whole bar was laughing. If I did that to a woman in a regular bar, I'd get my ass kicked, thrown out, or arrested.
It's okay for men to not want kids, but women are "broken" or will "change their mind" if they say the same.
Child predators. Both men and women should receive the same charges.
To learn more about the unequal distribution of housework and other tasks and what can be done to change it, Bored Panda reached out to relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man, who gave us some insights on what can be done to share the load. In short, he explained that communication, respect for each other’s choices, and mutual support are key to a healthy relationship. Especially during these difficult times.
“Both a man and a woman should always show gratitude towards each other and from that, you will both feel happier about being loving towards each other because you know the other person appreciates what you are doing,” relationship expert Dan highlighted that thanking someone for taking the initiative with chores, instead of berating them for usually ‘not doing enough,’ yields far better results.
For Dan, it’s important not just what we say in relationships, but how we say it.
Men get pockets big enough to hold all their stuff while women get fake pockets that are sewn shut, or a micro pocket that can't fit anything.
When movies need an ugly guy, they hire an ugly actor. When they need an ugly girl, they hire a smoking hot actress and put glasses on her
Society has been making money off of women’s bodies/sexuality forever and no one cares.
A woman makes money off her own body/sexuality and it’s suddenly a problem.
Relationship expert Dan gave an example where he heard from a man who was cleaning up the bathroom and found his wife complaining about how he was doing things. This led to an argument and the couple didn’t speak for a couple of days.
“He was very upset that she didn’t appreciate his proactive approach to helping out. All of that stress could have been avoided if she walked in and said something like, ‘Oh, thanks, honey. You’re cleaning the bathroom. That’s one less thing for me to do. Thank you.’ Then, if she wanted him to clean the bathroom the way she normally does it, she could ask, ‘Do you want to know how I get those stains out?’ or, ‘Do you want me to tell you some of the ways I do it that makes it easier?’ and if he then said yes, she could tell him,” Bacon gave some practical examples of effective communication.
“If he said no and ended up causing damage to the bathroom for example (unlikely, of course) or not cleaning it properly, she could then talk to him about it and ask why he thought it turned out that way, after all the good effort he put in. He could then realize his mistake, feel supported by her and decide that he probably should have asked her how to do it first, or continued cleaning until he got it done right.”
I was at the park working out a few years ago and on a bench was a couple arguing. The girl proceeds to slap the crap out of her boyfriend. She then goes for another, but the dude blocked her and held her wrist. The girl then burst into tears and questions why he hurt her like that.
To myself I was thinking, wait you can hit him but when he defends himself its wrong?
Women things like baking or cooking are just for women until it's a profession, and then it's for men.
According to Dan, by choosing not to attack our partners verbally for their ‘mistakes,’ we avoid making them go on the defensive. This reduces stress, helps maintain the relationship, and, in very practical terms, helps deal with the double standard of how housework is distributed.
“They remain in love. They feel supported, appreciated, respected and there is no need for an angry, resentful war to break out over little mistakes or errors. Of course, approaching conversations like that also applies to a man talking to his girlfriend or wife who is doing something around the house,” the expert pointed out that it goes both ways.
“For example, if his wife is doing more than normal around the house, a man should be supportive of her, appreciative and respectful, rather than just expecting that she should do it because she’s a woman. No one has to do anything in a relationship. It’s always a choice. This is why you should always come from a place of love and support, rather than in an angry, attacking way where you essentially become enemies who are trying to beat each other in a pointless, ‘I’m a better person than you’ war.”
While there are plenty of double standards out there, at least we’re better equipped to deal with one of them—sharing housework and other tasks during the pandemic through small changes in how we communicate and show gratitude.
When a girl is into more traditionally manly stuff nobody bats an eye, but when a guy is into traditionally feminine stuff people give him funny looks and question his sexuality
Abusive behavior is funny when coming from a woman. I pointed out to my husband that in movies and TV shows, women get upset by a man's actions and slap him and no one bats an eye. Showing a woman hitting a man normalizes this cruelty and it needs to stop.
How it's okay for men to go to strip clubs but strippers are looked down upon or made fun of by society.
Pedophile teachers, when it's a man, you tend to see "Male teacher raped student", and when they're women it's normally "Female teacher had sex with student", I despise the downplaying of it when the teacher is a woman, and seeing comments like "that kid should be lucky, his teacher is hot" disgusts me.
Body shaming men. Make fun of a woman’s boob size and people are aghast. Make fun of someone’s d**k size and that’s hilarious. Slag on a woman’s weight and that’s a no-no, but ‘I only date six feet and taller’ is acceptable. They are things a person really can’t do much about, and both being socially linked to equate manliness.
A woman with her kids is "taking care", a man with his kids is "babysitting"
Men or boys who are sexually abused by women are told to feel lucky. People will joke, 'Where was that teacher when I was in school?' and disregard that being a male victim is a big deal. But sexual abuse messes with you no matter your gender, and being a male survivor is also hard.
Daughters are raised and taught to clean and cook while sons get cleaned up after. My mother got upset with me when I suggested my younger brother learn to take out the trash or do a single chore. When I was his age, I was cooking and cleaning and helping take care of him while getting good grades in school and doing extracurriculars.
Overweight male actors always get cast opposite gorgeous actresses as their love interests and nobody bats an eye. Overweight actresses are rarely allowed to be lead love interests in the first place, and when they are, they're more likely to be paired with less conventionally attractive men.
Those romantic comedies with the cliché beautiful and smart woman married to the dumbest guy who is lucky to have her. Swap the roles and see people flip out.
I’m a young guy. One of my female coworkers slapped my ass about a month ago. I didn’t say anything because I really didn’t care too much, but if the roles were reversed I’d be out of here faster than I could say sexual harassment.
Dads are “superhuman” when they take care of baby, cook/clean/etc, or just parent in general. But women are “doing what comes naturally” when we work a full time job while pregnant, go back to work weeks after major trauma, are expected to breastfeed AND work, keep the house, raise good kids, and are somehow bad moms if we complain and feel overwhelmed.
Women who either have sex, love sex, or have a great deal of it when they are single are considered loose. Meanwhile, if a guy has a lot of sex, then he’s just being a guy.
Women are 'supposed' to clean the inside of the house while men do yard work. One day, my husband's friend called him while we were cleaning the house. His friend said, 'Uh oh. In trouble with the wifey?' No! He just lives here, too.
If men play video games, it’s normal and expected. If men like sports, it’s normal and expected. If men enjoy something like skateboarding, it’s normal and expected.
But if a woman does any of those things, she’s only doing it to impress men and couldn’t possibly actually like them herself.
As a man, I could go to the doctor and get a vasectomy tomorrow if I wanted to. A woman has to have like two or three kids and be married for most doctors to even consider performing a tubal ligation.
I’m an 18-24 year old guy, and I work with kids.
It’s disgusting the amount of protocols and procedures there are to keep me from being alone with kids, but there are almost NONE for the female staff I work with.
Even if I, the father, am listed as the primary contact on every single contact form for my kids, the school will still call my wife first. Even after being the only parent the teachers and school have ever seen during drop-offs and pickups, the school still insists on waiting to talk to my wife to 'discuss something about your child,' even though I'm right there.
Dad works late, gunning for the big promotion: “What a great provider!”
Dad leaves early to pick up sick kids from daycare: “What a great dad! So wholesome.”
Mom stays late, guns for the big promotion: “How can she neglect her kids like that?”
Mom leaves early to pick up sick kids: “Figures, she was never really committed to the job.”
Women get so much sh*t for being “too choosy” with men and “not giving them a chance” and in general get called uppity, picky snobs because they won’t go out with certain guys.
But when those same women are victims of date rape/violence/murder, they get blamed and people say that they should have been more careful
I'm a trans guy, and people listen to me as male way more than they did as female
Single mothers are seen as a red flag and are blamed for choosing a deadbeat as their child’s father. But single fathers are considered a great catch and are praised for 'stepping up.
Female domestic violence victims get lots of support, while male victims get laughed at.
Women rarely get complimented for the things men get complimented for: assertiveness, accomplishments, or basically any intentional act. While men rarely get complimented for the things that women get complimented for: their appearance or personality characteristics that make others feel good.
Mens nips arent censored but for some reason women's nips are.
When a woman cries, it's viewed as normal.
When a man cries, he's told to man up.
Clothes from the women’s section fall apart after six months.
Meanwhile I have a 15-year-old shirt from the men’s section that I still wear.
If a girl is 21 and a virgin she's considered pure. If a guy is 21 and a virgin he's a loser.
Men who don't smile: Thinking, serious, determined.
Women who don't smile: B****y and uninteresting.
I've never heard of a man getting asked why they didn't smile for something.
When a woman is direct to employees at work she is a b***h. When a man is direct to his employees he’s a leader.
Men: I'm a 34in waist and size M shirt in EVERY. SINGLE. STORE.
Women: Sizes are called different things in each country, and the naming convention bears no relationship to the actual size (what is the 6 in size 6 supposed to signify?)
A bad dad can lose custody but many times a bad mom won't.
Could not fathom having to give up their family name at marriage, but pressures his wife to do it without a second thought.
Single father's taking their kids to the park and watching them play while they get stares from every other parent or ppl passing by.
When men come out and accuse priests or other old men who abused them they aren't interrogated as to why they didn't say it sooner. With the 'Me Too' movement backlash, we see that women are dismissed and not believed when they talk about their abuse years later.
Straight girls can hold hands, lock fingers, cuddle, shower, and kiss each other. Two guys can’t even make eye contact without being gay-shamed.
When a guy gets with a bunch of chicks, he’s a “stud”. When a girl gets with a bunch of guys, she’s a “sl*t”.
Being over looked for a role (between 20-35) because I might become pregnant.
I work in a woman dominated field (library) and a good portion of my coworkers are self-proclaimed feminists. They constantly complain about "The Patriarchy" while being hateful, sexist group of humans towards the men in the building.
Expecting women to keep up a constant and rigorous beauty routine while men are doing very little to maintain their own attractiveness.