Men Share ‘What Did You Not Know Or Realize Until After Living With A Woman?’: And Here’re 40 Of The Top Answers
We're learning all our lives. But some things and experiences teach us more than others.
A month ago, Reddit user Artudetan posted a question on r/AskMen that read, "What did you not know or realize until after living with a woman?" Turns out, a lot!
From "the good bra" to doing the dishes, the post has already received over 14,000 answers and judging from them, getting a roommate can be quite educational!
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Fine, I'll say it.
I always thought that pads operated like Band-aids and they'd just slap em over their vaginas and absorb everything. It wasn't until I was... 27? When my girlfriend at the time had some as a backup in case she ran out of tampons and I opened it and looked. The adhesive was on the wrong side for my version of how they worked, and it dawned on me that they're supposed to be stuck to their panties, not their vaginas. I only regret telling her of that revelation, because she laughed until she cried and then called her mom to tell her about it.
When you’re having a really tough day, she unexpectedly comes home and surprises you with a bottle of your favorite drink, homemade cookies and a dinner you love. And then she cuddles with you while you vent about your now not so crappy day. And you realize what it’s like to actually have someone support you.
And you find yourself wanting to make sure the toilet seat is down, smiling when you can never find anything in the kitchen, rolling with it when the living room turns into a 12 stage laundry OCD deployment zone, and you laugh when you trip over her shoes that are now tangled in a knot of hair bigger than the dog.
Because your house/apartment is no longer a place you live at, it’s now your home. And it’s safe to be the real you, not the show you put on when you were dating.
That she owns only one truly GOOD BRA. There is only one and part of your duty as a man is to protect The Good Bra. If you are doing laundry, you must take the greatest of precautions to make sure it is properly cleaned, dried, and stored. God forbid The Good Bra ever turn up missing or in the wrong drawer.
Ladies, why is there only one GOOD BRA?
Yes. Yes, there is. The one and only! ♡ Because, a product, to be mass-produced, it needs to be built within certain norms and patterns, but each woman has different breasts. As a result, it's difficult to find the perfect one, but once you do find it, it becomes precioussssss. Not to mention, these things aren't cheap either. (Waiting for replies of the ladies whose boobs need no support. Respect to you, sisters, but see... just because I don't need braces, I'm not protesting against the dentist industry.)
I was raised by a woman, so none of it was new to me, except:
Period Panties.
I wasn't shocked or disgusted by it because I wasn't a 12-year-old; it was just like, "Huh. Yeah, I guess I'd have a separate selection of underwear to use when I'm menstruating, too. Why the Hell would I ruin all of my sexy underwear?".
I learned that bathroom can smell like soap and flowers and coconut instead of like pee.
Apparently showering and washing your hair are separate events.
If you leave something on the kitchen counter, it will get put/thrown away. If she leaves something on the kitchen counter, that's where it goes now.
Pockets are very rare for women's pants. Several years married and still shocked by this.
I didn’t realise this until my now wife showed me the pockets she had in her wedding dress. She was so excited.
If a dress has pockets and someone compliments you on the dress every woman will put hands in pockets and say: "Look it has pockets!!
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I bought a skirt recently and was pleasantly surprised when I tried it on and realized not only doese it have pockets, but it has deep useful pockets. My husband joked that it must not be a skirt afterall, with pockets like that, itmust be a kilt for men.
I don't get this. Pretty much every woman I've spoken with would love pockets. But they just aren't there! The primary difference between of mens and womens sweatpants seems to be pockets or no pockets.
I was also wondering why they don't make woman's pants with big pockets!! They would sell like crazy!! But it seems they want to sell purses too so they don't care, as long as ALL the pants are without pockets!
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This is why I prefer men/boys jeans. Also, FAKE POCKETS are completely idiotic and stupid
My wife owns numerous articles of men’s clothing. Men’s clothes are usually 1/2 the price, the fabric is twice as heavy (so you cannot see through it), and the pockets aren’t decorative. And, apparently, our button down shirts come in “way more interesting patterns”.
I've learned to sew a few years ago, I didn't even know it would give me the superpower of being able to add pockets to every item I make. Oh, and also: it's stupidly easy to include properly-sized pockets in the seam of a lot of dresses (not all of them, but a lot) without changing how they look. There's really no reason at all why they shouldn't be there in the first place.
Random stranger (F): Nice dress! Me: Thanks! It's got POCKETS!!! *shows pockets* RS: OMG!! That's AWESOME!!! O.O Me: Right?!
As am I. Female, 67 years old and ready to hurl my newest trackie dacks out the window - NO FRIGGIN POCKETS! Gaaaahhhhhh.
"Snag" tights now make non see through leggings with pockets (up to size 34 or 36) and stretchy skirts with pockets too. They started with all kinds and colours of tights to fit different sized women properly. I love their products
That´s why the compliment "nice dress/skirt" usually has the response: "Thanks! It has pockets!"
Got sent the men's version of a set of pants online. What a freakin' revelation. It wasn't just that it had pockets. It had pockets YOU COULD PUT A HAND INTO. Not some useless little thing. DEEP pockets. My freaking PHONE FITS ENTIRELY INSIDE. I love those pants.
I hate when you buy pants that finally fit and realize that the pockets are fake, it's so annoying!
My husband is so use to handing me his things to put in my purse. We go to an amusement park and we both try to hand off our wallets to the other. He was like "Why don't you put them in your purse?" And I was like "Dude, you can't take a purse on rides so the purse in the car. Also, my pockets are too shallow to carry a dime in so it is your turn to carry some weight around here."
yes WHY!?! is it so we can make our boyfriends carry our stuff? or is it so that we have to give the companies money for purses, too? either way, it's a total jerk move.
I have a pair of pants with VERY deep pockets and I squealed with excitement when I found out
Pockets in skirts and dresses are a big selling point now. I just bought a dress yesterday that had "I have pockets!" on the tag, and it's partially why I bought it. As teachers, we have to have our keys and phones with us all the time (in case of emergencies), so my clothing always has to have pockets.
For every day casual wear, I buy men's pants & shorts - mainly Wrangler brand. For the POCKETS, and so I can get the correct waist size & inseam length I need (I'm lucky to have slim hips!). And it's not hard to add pockets to dresses & skirts as long as they're not skin tight.
i am so jealous of my husband's pants because they have actual, proper sized pockets and i can't even fit my entire hand in mine
Plus they are making them smaller. I don't like to carry a bag all the time but if I want my phone or some money with me I may have to since my pockets are too small or gone.
I bought a new nightshirt. It had pockets!! I wore it a half-dozen times before I realized it.
The reason women's pants do not have pockets is because of the lines - the way a woman is built the pockets would "stick out" and look bad. Even if pants do have pockets they are usually sewn closed.
I always wondered why this was a problem - why don't they just sell dresses with pockets in them? Someone explained it to me today - "no pockets? Well, we have a wonderful selection of purses and handbags over here that you can buy"
Not all women hate pockets. I won’t buy or wear pants unless they have pockets..
Is it something to do with the 'hang' of the garment that pockets might spoil? I ask because my tailor told me to leave my suit jacket pockets sewn closed to protect this mythical 'hang' thing. So I'm curious.
That's part of it - if you take the stitches out, the pocket in your jacket will hang open just from the weight of the fabric. And also because so much women's clothing is "body con" - meaning the clothing is fitted tightly so pockets would spoil the look.
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I read a theory once that it was so women couldn't carry enough money & identification with them to be able to run away from an abusive situation, and that it started back in the Victorian era. Don't know how much of that is true, but it kind of makes sense.
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What home feels like.
When you’re done showering, you’re supposed to stay on the bath mat while you dry off, not walk around the apartment
Apparently, cleaning the toilet on the regular is much, much more important than I'd previously thought.
How nice house plants are. Now I have all kinds of plants and my place feels so much more nice and relaxing.
If they leave stuff at the bottom of the stairs, that means you’re supposed to bring it up. If it’s at the top of the stairs, you should bring it down. Also, the correct place for objects in the kitchen is where they currently reside. Stuff is gonna move around constantly, just roll with it.
I do leave stuff on the stairs, but that's for whoever goes up first to bring along (and yes, that definitely includes myself)
They have a really weird obsession with glass containers or jars.
Mine obsession can be any kind of storage including shoe boxes, takeaway containers etc.
Hair ties actually disappear faster than MIA socks. Until you find 20 in a kitchen drawer.
No matter how many bobby pins are in the house, there is always a need for more.
And hairties.buy a pack and you'll have heaps for a few weeks, then back to one somehow.
Women are both simultaneously messier and cleaner than men. It’s bizarre how messy rooms can get with them and how quickly they can turn it around and make it clean!
One corner of the shower will become a "graveyard" for bottles of shampoo, conditioner, all sorts of stuff.
An innocent cleaning excursion in the right circumstances will lead to a full-on reorganization of all the dang furniture in the house, if you're not careful.
The hair that gets stuck in the shower drain. OMG.
You find out the amount of food that a refrigerator can really hold.
I never realised that she'd start wearing my clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, not even my damn underwear is mine any more!
I load the dishwasher so inefficiently, I'm no longer allowed to load it at all.
Girl here I'm not allowed to load the dishwasher as i do it wrong husband is in charge
I have freaked out too many times at what I thought was a 52-legged spider clinging to my bathroom wall.
You do this so you don't need to unclog your shower weekly. But you don't leave it on the wall, it should be binned before you leave the bathroom
That there can never be enough throws/blankets/cushions.
Yes there can. I am not a fan of throws and cushions. Not my thing.
That moisturizer goes on the body too.
Well yes, the lotion or moisturizer goes on the skin. Or you get the hoze again
Strange new foods will appear in the cupboard and the fridge. This is actually good, you will get to try new things.
The wardrobe in your bedroom that you agreed to share 50/50? Just like the bathroom, in a few years it will be 90/10.
There is an incorrect place for hand soap on the sink.
No matter how much you vacuum or sweep the floor, there will ALWAYS be hair in the floor.
To get rid of bangs you don't just cut them off.
When long, loose head hairs wash off in the shower, it's common practice to stick them to the wall rather than let them collect in the drain.
If she forgets to remove them afterwards, it can be very confusing for the next person in the shower. Why are there a bunch of individual strands of hair deliberately stuck to the wall?
They're not nearly as neat and tidy as they want you to believe.
Ya so ... let’s not generalize woman ... some woman are clean freaks others are in the middle and others are the opposite ... this is not a female trait .. this is a human being trait ... please stop putting woman in charge of cleaning and making them feel like if they don’t keep their house spotless there’s something wrong with them
Just how much freakin stuff they need.
3 different shampoos and conditioners, tens of different lipsticks, 3 foundations, makeup brushes, contouring brushes, makeup remover, so many earrings and accessories.
It's not even like these were superficial/vain women. This is just the bare minimum of how they care for their appearance. Meanwhile I'm buying my all-in-one body wash, deodorant and mouthwash and calling it done.
I am in-between. Yes I have a make-up box but I only wear it on special occasions. I have two pairs of earrings, hardly any accessories etc. I also only have 3 pairs of shoes.
When the garbage can stinks, you must take it outside even if it isn't full.
Isn't that really basic? Like base-level, a-child-could-work-that-out obvious.
The toilet seat have to be left down or you're in serious trouble.
The seat AND the lid must be down at all times. It just looks better (for me at least). Also, when you flush, bacteria don't fly around the bathroom.
The toilet paper expense skyrockets.
Yeah it takes more toilet paper to clean for a women than men (most of the time)
That the plug hole will be in a constant state of "hmmm thats draining slowly, didn't I just unclog this last week?"
I never knew it was acceptable to drink red wine and read a book in the bath for hours, leaving it inaccessible until she had finished.
Your shower drain is going to get clogged. You'll call a plumber and he'll pull out fistfuls of long hair. She will look at you seriously and say "that's not mine" even though you have a crewcut.
Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies are meant to be consumed a full tube at one sitting.
Here I was keeping mine in the fridge and eating just one or two cookies a week.
One day you will walk into the bathroom and get smacked in the face by wet bras / panties hanging up.
I've never done that. I invested in one of those wooden, dowel-type clothes drying racks.
Some things you "do" she is not going to like and will want you to change. You will feel the same about some things she does.
I’ve been doing the dishes wrong my entire life.
As long as I don't have to do them and they still get cleaned, I don't care if you stand on your head and do the dishes.
The way I had been folding towels for years was apparently incorrect. I do the tri-fold method. My wife does the double-fold method. Oh well. First argument we had as a married couple and I lost.
They take over the bathroom. One day you'll walk in and realise 90% of the space is filled with her stuff.
There isn’t enough laundry detergent in the world to keep up with the laundry pile.
Some tips for anyone who is interested. I use to battle laundry non-stop but I got rid of about 75% of my clothes and found that less clothing meant less of a laundry mound. I have half a closet of clothes so I have to keep up with the laundry. Also, since my wardrobe is small, it is easier to manage and put things away. Second tip is to start the wash before you leave the house, when you get home from work put it in the dryer, before you go to bed, put the load on your bed. I can't sleep with a pile of laundry on the bed so it forces me to put it away immediately. I do 2-3 loads a week. One light colored, one dark, then linens/misc.
There will be 5+ pairs of shoes, not IN the shoe rack, but near it / behind the door so it jams / just waiting to trip me if I enter the house without checking for landmines wayward vans slip ons.
It's not as glamorous as it may seem if you have a lack of experience living with them. I have lived with women in both platonic and romantic relationships. The stereotypes of being clean, tidy, and constantly maintaining the household are overly exaggerated. The guy roommate I lived with was much more clean than the ladies I have lived with, as was I. I'm sure not all ladies are like this.
I had no idea that you weren’t supposed to wash your hair everyday until after my girlfriend moved in.
Well... It really depends on your hair. Everyone's hair is different. Some people need to wash it every day, some every other day, once or twice a week, etc. Just depends. Generally though, you wash it when it gets greasy and no more frequently than that.
She had a bucket of clear plastic hair ties, at least a 1000 in the tub. Barely a dent and those suckers are popping up EVERYWHERE.
Two things: Be sure to have a trashcan in every bathroom, buy Toilet paper and tissues as Costco, and your expenses will go up. I thought it would be cheaper to have her move in, Nope....
According to my wife I cannot open the living room curtains properly and she always need to redo it.
If you need to go anywhere together at minimum an hour notice is needed.
Nope.. and if it takes someone an hour to do something I’m not inviting them anymore ..
The bottom of the shower/bath is now not only frequently slippy, but occasionally covered glitter, and if really unlucky some sort of oil.
Things wrapped in little plastic bags will appear in the fridge. All stuff she is going to "use one day". Some of it she does. Other stuff is there for years without being used.
We're conducting science experiments that one day will lead to discoveries to aid all mankind. Kind of like the whole penicillin mold thing.
Her hair, it gets everywhere.
Yeah it does. And guess what? Evolution and hair care and environment are making hair go away. So you worry about losing your hair? So do we.
I do laundry wrong.
Where I think things should “live” isn’t right. Even if I’m the only one who ever uses them.
Some of these are kinda gender stereotypes... Not all women wear inches of makeup or are clean freaks... Also some of these are just usual relationship things not specifically female. I know plenty of guys who use more products than me everyone has their own ways of doing things regardless of gender.
Just came to say the same. A lot of this was not male-female, but just people stuff.
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I must confess that, before I moved in with my wife (then- girlfriend), I thought that women wore matching bras and nickers (panties), like in the lingerie ads. But, thinking about it, I don't match my socks with my boxer shorts.
The generalized sexist remarks here about woman are gross .. do better bored panda .. woman do not fit in a box .. we are unique people
It is not sexist for people to relate their experiences in life. Try understanding the article next time
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As a man with long hair, I just laugh at all the comments about hairs everywhere, because they are usually mine. Or I just notice them because they are gray and my wife's are not. I really don't know.
Aww, that's so sweet of her! Your wife is definitely a keeper. What a kind person!
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Just a reminder that just because you live with a woman that doesn't mean that's an indication of what all women do. We're still not a monolith. We're individual humans just like men are and no two women will be the same.
Yeah, but the thing is that most stereotypes have a basis in truth. Enough women do these things that a large number of men have noticed them on a large scale. Therefore while there are exceptions, these are true in general.
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Judging from many of these posts, there are so many women who rule that their partners do stuff "wrong" just because they do it differently. Please be considerate! Often, there is more than one good way to do something.
As long as the task gets done, there's no right or wrong way. Some ways may be more efficient, but if the end result is the same it doesn't really matter how you get there! :)
Load More Replies... In the articles where men are idiots everyone agrees.In articles where women do something different everyone rants about stereotypes
Aside from the "women are all like this" implication, what about the "men apparently never know anything about women" implication? Maybe "neat freaks vs slobs", but not really gender. You should see how my hubby gets about his concert t-shirts! Forget the "good bra"! Do not touch his concert t-shirts! See? It's just people being people.
I really love this thread! I’m living on my own (is that said right when you live alone?) and I almost forgot how lovely it was sharing a home. So heartwarming, even the discussions!
All the hair-related ones are true for anyone with long hair, not just girls
Very relatable, I've lived with men and women and there are definitely some things that differ. But preferences regarding cleaning etc are individual...
As a wife of 20 years....yesssss I definately do all these things😁....I laughed at almost all of them...
I I have 1 wife 3 daughters all with long hair, cleaning the shower trap every month was a must. Fortunately they didn't stick hair to the shower wall which is a bit gross, weirdly enough.
I don't really understand #12, I'm pretty sure we're humans too. What'd you expect, we suppress farts? Unless this is satire, in which case please don't get mad at me lol
To the gentleman who asked why women only own one good bra is because a good bra that is well made, fits properly and is comfortable is EXPENSIVE and they only get more so the bigger a woman's boobs are. Another reason is the life expectancy of a bra. A cheap bra will only last anywhere from 2-6 months with regular wear(depending on bra size, brand/style, how often its washed); whereas a good bra will last anywhere from 12-18 months with the same amount of wear(though the life expectancy of a good bra is nothing compared to a good quality corset which can last anywhere from 5-10 YEARS with proper care).
I put everything I can snack size in old candle jars. I can't seem to handle throwing them away, and it looks nice.
my wife is the queen of the dishwasher. I have given up any attempt of trying to load it correctly. My sons have inherited the dishwasher loading gene. Sometimes family dinners degenerate into mockery of us lesser types missing the dishwasher loading gene. Apparently proper placement of cutlery is important.
My hair gets EVERYWHERE, I have Fibromyalgia so my hair constantly falls out. I always have a massive ball of hair after I wash it. I do my best not to leave it all over the shower. However, I can't do much about what gets on the carpets. Regular vacuuming still yields masses of my hair.
Dunno why you were downvoted, I too shed hair like mad, it seems impossible that I can produce so much!
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I think I'm meeting the wrong women... I've never had a tidy GF; I'm always the one being a**l about keeping everything tidy XD
Three things that surprised me: 1) How shitty women's shoes are. Honestly if my shoes give me blisters after the first day I wear them, they are defective and I'm getting my money back. My wife (and pretty much every woman I know) accepts this as normal. 2&3) That apparently smell and colour matter. I'm happy living in a beige home with no artificial smells, but that's just not civilized anymore (I don't mind the colour, but I find all the fragrances in women's products actually offensive to my nose).
Some of these are kinda gender stereotypes... Not all women wear inches of makeup or are clean freaks... Also some of these are just usual relationship things not specifically female. I know plenty of guys who use more products than me everyone has their own ways of doing things regardless of gender.
Just came to say the same. A lot of this was not male-female, but just people stuff.
Load More Replies... I must confess that, before I moved in with my wife (then- girlfriend), I thought that women wore matching bras and nickers (panties), like in the lingerie ads. But, thinking about it, I don't match my socks with my boxer shorts.
The generalized sexist remarks here about woman are gross .. do better bored panda .. woman do not fit in a box .. we are unique people
It is not sexist for people to relate their experiences in life. Try understanding the article next time
Load More Replies... As a man with long hair, I just laugh at all the comments about hairs everywhere, because they are usually mine. Or I just notice them because they are gray and my wife's are not. I really don't know.
Aww, that's so sweet of her! Your wife is definitely a keeper. What a kind person!
Load More Replies... Just a reminder that just because you live with a woman that doesn't mean that's an indication of what all women do. We're still not a monolith. We're individual humans just like men are and no two women will be the same.
Yeah, but the thing is that most stereotypes have a basis in truth. Enough women do these things that a large number of men have noticed them on a large scale. Therefore while there are exceptions, these are true in general.
Load More Replies... Judging from many of these posts, there are so many women who rule that their partners do stuff "wrong" just because they do it differently. Please be considerate! Often, there is more than one good way to do something.
As long as the task gets done, there's no right or wrong way. Some ways may be more efficient, but if the end result is the same it doesn't really matter how you get there! :)
Load More Replies... In the articles where men are idiots everyone agrees.In articles where women do something different everyone rants about stereotypes
Aside from the "women are all like this" implication, what about the "men apparently never know anything about women" implication? Maybe "neat freaks vs slobs", but not really gender. You should see how my hubby gets about his concert t-shirts! Forget the "good bra"! Do not touch his concert t-shirts! See? It's just people being people.
I really love this thread! I’m living on my own (is that said right when you live alone?) and I almost forgot how lovely it was sharing a home. So heartwarming, even the discussions!
All the hair-related ones are true for anyone with long hair, not just girls
Very relatable, I've lived with men and women and there are definitely some things that differ. But preferences regarding cleaning etc are individual...
As a wife of 20 years....yesssss I definately do all these things😁....I laughed at almost all of them...
I I have 1 wife 3 daughters all with long hair, cleaning the shower trap every month was a must. Fortunately they didn't stick hair to the shower wall which is a bit gross, weirdly enough.
I don't really understand #12, I'm pretty sure we're humans too. What'd you expect, we suppress farts? Unless this is satire, in which case please don't get mad at me lol
To the gentleman who asked why women only own one good bra is because a good bra that is well made, fits properly and is comfortable is EXPENSIVE and they only get more so the bigger a woman's boobs are. Another reason is the life expectancy of a bra. A cheap bra will only last anywhere from 2-6 months with regular wear(depending on bra size, brand/style, how often its washed); whereas a good bra will last anywhere from 12-18 months with the same amount of wear(though the life expectancy of a good bra is nothing compared to a good quality corset which can last anywhere from 5-10 YEARS with proper care).
I put everything I can snack size in old candle jars. I can't seem to handle throwing them away, and it looks nice.
my wife is the queen of the dishwasher. I have given up any attempt of trying to load it correctly. My sons have inherited the dishwasher loading gene. Sometimes family dinners degenerate into mockery of us lesser types missing the dishwasher loading gene. Apparently proper placement of cutlery is important.
My hair gets EVERYWHERE, I have Fibromyalgia so my hair constantly falls out. I always have a massive ball of hair after I wash it. I do my best not to leave it all over the shower. However, I can't do much about what gets on the carpets. Regular vacuuming still yields masses of my hair.
Dunno why you were downvoted, I too shed hair like mad, it seems impossible that I can produce so much!
Load More Replies... I think I'm meeting the wrong women... I've never had a tidy GF; I'm always the one being a**l about keeping everything tidy XD
Three things that surprised me: 1) How shitty women's shoes are. Honestly if my shoes give me blisters after the first day I wear them, they are defective and I'm getting my money back. My wife (and pretty much every woman I know) accepts this as normal. 2&3) That apparently smell and colour matter. I'm happy living in a beige home with no artificial smells, but that's just not civilized anymore (I don't mind the colour, but I find all the fragrances in women's products actually offensive to my nose).
