Men Share 30 Things They Believe Women Will Never Understand About Being A Man
Depending on one’s life experience, it can be easy to overlook all the little and not-so-little things one goes through on a daily basis. This can range from the logistics of standing versus sitting when going to the bathroom, all the way to how societal pressures manifest and how different people deal with it.
A netizen asked men to share struggles and difficulties that they believe women could simply never understand. From comical to deeply personal, men across the internet shared their thoughts and emotions. So be sure to upvote your favorites and comment your thoughts below.
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I was the victim of domestic violence, and was laughed out of the police station when I attempted to report it.
It's worse if you try report it while it's happening. Good chance you'll be the one who gets arrested
If you don't open up about your feelings you're a toxic man. If you do, you're either being rude or being a pu**y. We're only supposed to have the CORRECT feelings, at the correct time, at everyone else's convenience.
Thank you for sharing this frustration. The women who put you down for being emotionally vulnerable are contributing to toxic masculinity and you're better off without them. Being comfortable talking about your feelings is a healthy HUMAN trait - be healthy, and go find healthy😘
Talking/interacting with a child and instantly getting seen as a [predator]. Once headed out with my 3 year old niece to a playground . . . half an hour later the police were involved. Needed my sister to clear things up.
The factors that have led to men and women having often quite different life experiences, particularly through history, are pretty varied. While those forces in many cases still exist, there are a myriad of smaller, day-to-day things one gender might not even think about until a member from the other points it out.
For example, while its effects are basically omnipresent in many parts of the world, many women have not considered the abject terror brought on by male-pattern baldness. Roughly 30-50% of US men will encounter some amount of hair loss by the time they are fifty, creating a booming industry in toupees and hair transplants, as perhaps too much importance is placed on this objectively smallish tuft of hair.
Older single guy here. We're on our own. Nobody wants to touch us. No platonic affection. Nobody wants to help us. We need to figure it out for ourselves. Nobody will be there for you. You have to accept that. Crippling loneliness is a given. I know I will die alone. I just want to know, why the hell is it taking so long?
I am so, so sorry you're experiencing this 😥 I am a 35 year old lesbian who is disabled and women immediately ghost me as soon as they find out I am disabled. I've been single for over a decade, and my frustration has had me recently thinking of how much harder it must be for men who are in a similar boat of not meeting the shallow ideals so many women have. This might seem like a weird suggestion, but I've found groups that do platonic cuddle meets - strict boundaries, absolutely nothing sexual - and it helps with that need for closeness, if nothing else. You deserve healthy connection as much as anyone 💜
Not being believed when it comes to sexual harassment
I was sexually harassed by a girl in my class a really long time ago and when I told it to the school they didn’t do anything
Both of my parents got involved and they still refused to do anything to the girl who was harassing me
The level of depresion men face while basically having no support system and forever being told to just be tough and push on..
On the flip side, i have begged my husband to look in to therapy to help him deal with his traumas, but he won't go because he's been convinced to think it's "unmanly" or "weak" or "waste of time". I asked him if I was weak or wasting my time by seeking therapy myself, he basically told me that it was fine for *me* to go, just "wasnt for him". Men - therapy is NOT bad/weak/girly. Good mental health is incredibly important, please do not feel like it's not for you just because you're a man.
This fear leads to a large number of myths and alternative “remedies” for hair loss that, for the most part, have little to no bearing on reality. Because testosterone levels play some part in how hair works, some have speculated that weight training might lead to male-pattern baldness, despite the fact that most cases are just hereditary. While there does seem to be a connection between excess testosterone and hair loss, many balding men also report low testosterone levels.
my brother got physically abused by his ex and somehow a ton of people still assume he did something to deserve it?... Imagine if the reverse happened! Like a woman talks about how her ex boyfriend punched her because he is an abusive piece of s**t and i would go "yea but what did you do to deserve such a reaction?". if i did that everyone would agree that i am the a*****e but for some reason multiple people have said this to my brother and no one bats an eye.
Expected to be the protector at all times. I mean I’ll do my best but damn, can we call the cops first.
Definitely! I want a partner who is still in one piece please!
Trying to ask out women with little to no signals to go on. Having to approach and initiate every romantic interaction without coming on too strong and not seem like a creep.
Some studies indicate that women have a stronger sense of smell than men, which is both a blessing and a curse, as many a young man learns a bit too late that if he can smell himself, everyone around him can as well. While there was no doubt a time when ancient humans needed every sense to be as sharp as possible, these days most aggressive aromas, from hot garbage to people who apply perfume with a hose, are more annoying than anything.
Being accused of kidnapping my kids while taking them to the playground. That was fun.
Women going out of their way to avoid me when walking on a street (crossing the street). I get it, but wow does it hurt.
Feeling crushing anxiety and not being able to show it to basically anyone. My wife interprets it as me being unstable/unable to be the provider, even my therapist assumed I was just not wanting to face my demons and that I need to get over it. Gotta keep it in.
Being really sick and told it’s manflu.
Having me sense of self worth basically pinned to my ability to earn money
Very specific, but illustrates the point: I once was at a conference and I saw two ladies walking ahead of me. One was carrying a purse by its handle and it was hanging down. The purse was unzipped and stuff was starting to fall out as she was walking. I ran up and interrupted and pointed out the purse was open and stuff was about to fall out. They both looked at me and asked why I would be looking at her purse and called me a creep and walked away.
I am so sorry you've experienced these things. As a woman who has had a lot of uncomfortable encounters with men, it can be easy to become paranoid but I am trying so hard to give every man the benefit of the doubt or just politely excuse myself from an interaction rather than be cold & make assumptions. You do not deserve to be called a creep for being a gentleman, or arrested for being an involved father, ugh!! Kidnappers & thieves are quite often women, not just men. I hope you can keep going to therapy - with a better therapist - because men bravely embracing their emotions is the only way things will change 💜
Middle age loneliness, particularly for married guys with kids. If you're not a middle age bro douche, you probably have no friends. None. Maybe you're amiable with work colleagues, maybe you have a game night with some neighbors, but they're barely more than acquaintances. Your last friend was 10, maybe 20 years ago in the before times. Seems like It's almost a societal expectation at this point.
I have a terrible issue with crying, even when I'm at my worst and feel a constant urge to cry for weeks straight, I won't and can't. Sometimes I think I can't cry without permission. I am well aware that I don't need permission, but my body doesn't care.
Socially, men are in many ways more at risk of loneliness. Male friendships, as opposed to female friendships, are more often based on shared activities than personal connections. This can endanger friendships if the activity has to end and also limits the “scope” of the relationship. Emotional disclosure can be harder if your friend is more of a tennis buddy than a true confidant.
Being expected to be able to step up in scary situations when you are scared sh**less yourself and don't want to either.
You can shake it, you can thump it, you can beat it on the wall, but until you zip the zipper, the last drop will never fall.
That's why I pee in a cubicle and use toilet paper to soak up that 'last drop'
Just how f*****g lonely it is. You are expected at all times to be a simultaneous combination of guardian, emotional caregiver, leader, and provider, on TOP of being relatively successful and 100% independent.
And you have to ALWAYS be these things, 100% of the time. It's emotionally exhausting.
I know that readers may see this and list any number of the various advantages our unfair society affords men, and I won't argue that they aren't there. But I will state that I feel, and probably many other men would agree with this, that society doesn't really care about the emotional, mental, or social health of men.
Chris Rock famously said that only women, children, and dogs are loved unconditionally; men are loved under the condition of what they can provide. I agree with that statement. It's incredibly dehumanizing and dispiriting to constantly be told what society expects from you and wants you to be, as if all you are is a paycheck to support a family or a fearless leader who exudes strength and never falters.
In the 21st century, given that most of us no longer work jobs where peak physique is required, some of the “evolutionary” advantages of the male body fall away. However, the image, or at least personal belief in that image of masculinity is still around, creating a psychological gap that many men don’t know how to overcome. Even worse, many men don’t even know how to ask for help.
Trying to figure out if I should pay:
I should pay on the date to be polite but I also should also have us split because we're equal but there's a gender pay gap so I should pay because I'm a man but gender roles are meant to be cast aside? I...I....I AHHH
Being looked at as a pervert or weirdo for taking your kids to the park or store or anywhere. Any age too! Newborn all the way to teenager!
Never had that issue with bringing up my two kids. Also now as a grandad taking my grand daugher out- no issues and not feeling like there ever would be here.
it's not okay to be a stereotype who tells a woman to get in the kitchen and make me a sandwich, but it's acceptable if not downright encouraged for a woman to knock me for not being able to lift something heavy saying "you're a man, you're supposed to be able to do this!"
I kind of chuckled at this, but you're right & it's something I never realized. There are no gender stereotypes in this household, my partner knows that if there's a creepy noise in the house, he can wake me up and I'll grab my baseball bat & be like "I got this baby!" but also he does all the laundry & bakes like an angel...so yeah, laundry & cake, manly af!
When a woman expresses her feelings and/or problems, everyone can't get enough. When a man does, he is either ignored or told "man up dude". And this is something that'll go on forever.
Trying to talk to others about mental health (both mine and other's). As a child, my mother struggled with mental health but she was wise enough to get help and through that became determined to break the cycle in our family. She gave me the tools to deal with these struggles myself (and for others).
So now, well into my 50's I'm an empathic, caring man, father, husband that can listen well (typically offering the advice of...you should get some professional help but I'm here for you).
The problem is, any men in today's society judge my help as being "soft" or, "nosey " or being a "wash woman". Personally, I don't give AF but it is a sad statement in our society.
Women have no idea what it's like to go your whole life with no one ever thinking to give you flowers.
I'll be sure to give my guy friends flowers then. I grew some Dwarf Sunflowers, I'll give them those
That's brilliant, and they will love them. They will also be very suprised and might not know how to react. But they will love them.
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I gave flowers to a man once. He told me he wasn't gay and threw them out. I rescued them, and took myself out to dinner instead of him.
One of my male friends was just chatting with me once, and leaned down and picked a little flower and tucked it behind his ear without thinking. It makes me grin just thinking about it.
If you like flowers tell me! Sadly in my approx 50 years on this planet, men have bought me flowers a grand total of twice. My colleagues sent me flowers when my parent died, but that’s it. If I want flowers, I buy them myself now.
I've given flowers. The response each time was "What the f**k am I supposed to do with this?"
For me, it's not about the flowers specifically, but about the thought. On the rare occasions I have a girlfriend, I love giving her little gifts. Not necessarily expensive, some times it is literally just a rock I found that I thought was pretty. But the point is that it is a tangible thing, something she can hold in her hand, and know I was thinking of her. When I go on a trip, I get her a souvenir. Not because of the 'thing' but because its my way of including her, even though she isn't there. When I spent a week in Europe, I wrote a letter to her every day. She didn't get them until I after I got home, but what matters is she got them, and she knew she was on my mind every day. THAT is what we want. For some guys, flowers are a great way to do that. For others, it might be something else. But we just want to know that we matter to you. That you think about us as much as we think about you. Guys need to feel special too.
I like doing that with my friends and coworkers. I have a gift closet chock full of just little random things and I'll pass them out during random times of the year. I also like sending cards - usually funny, for absolutely no reason. Just to let them I know I'm thinking of them. My guy friends and coworkers seem to really get a kick out of getting stickers (Gudetama always goes over well). They'll look at me weird at first until I tell them 'Not hitting on you, just my thing. Thought it would make you laugh.' Sprinkle a little joy, people. It's nice to be thought of, especially for those of us who are quite lonely. No reciprocity expected.
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This actually gave me an idea for Christmas present for my boyfriend. He told me his favourite flowers are daffodils. So I'll paint him daffodils. And it won't be weird because he put up floral, black and silver floral wallpaper in his room.
I would love to get flowers and give my husband flowers. He doesn't want to get them or give them so I buy my own
I sent my dad flowers for Father’s Day once. I had them put them in a tool box and put different hand tools I knew he liked. I mean, one can never have enough screwdrivers. He loved it. A friend of mine was having hernia surgery. I sent him flowers with a card that I won’t say what I wrote, but it was pretty hilarious. He appreciated it so much. I have no problem sending a man flowers.
I do give flowers to anyone, especially if I know your favorite colour. And I knew guys love flowers too because of my work as a florist with lots of guys getting some flowers for their home :) some guys do go a bit manbro though, even though I know they do love that flower alot, so I understand if people don't want to risk it.
its like the saying the only time most men ever get flowers is at their funeral
My husband's birthday is his special day, that lady is just a twat.
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My husband loves living flowers. I've bought him flowers to plant and he loved them. He does not buy me cut flowers, even though I love them and would thank him profusely. He sees no purpose to have flowers in the house.
Told my husband I was going to send him flowers at work for some reason. He was horrified! LOL
I’ve given my (former) boyfriend flowers before, he was pleasantly surprised and giddy about it.
Morrissey used to get tons of flowers thrown on stage. Tom Jones got panties. I'll take either, they both mean someone likes me. (Sarcasm, had to have a laugh in the midst of all this darkness.)
I give my partner flowers when I see the one he likes. We have been together for 39 years this year and I think he deserves flowers chocolates and wine whenever I feel it’s time form him to have them. Yes I am a woman and I love him to bits
I have absolutely no interest in plants whatsoever, and I still think flowers are wasteful. (Why spend money to rip something out of its habitat just to be mildly allergic to it while you watch it wither and die on your coffee table?) If you want flowers, more power to you. I hope you get tons and tons of them. But you're literally the first male I've ever encountered who thought "being given flowers" would be nice. Again, more power to you, but I think the onus is kind of on you to express that desire since its so uncommon. (And again-- please don't read judgement into that statement. None is meant.)
See, a lot of women would be hesitant to give you flowers for fear you’d think it is too girly. :(
Hah, I figured that out and bought some flowers for my son-in-law for his birthday. He was puzzled. I've done it before and have gotten very strange looks. We need to loosen that up a lot. Men should get flowers and be able to enjoy them, we should be able to give them and be recognized for it like a man is.
A gave a guy a four-leaf clover once and said "here, this will bring you luck!" He looked so happy.
My husband's favorite flower is a tropical plant we always end up killing so I just gave up that pipe dream years ago. Can keep a lot of house plants alive and thriving, but I am a world class bromeliad killer and he literally can't even look at a house plant without it dropping leaves
I have bought flowers for my hubby more than once and he loves getting them xxxx
the reality is that almost all of the flowers a woman gets are from other women...put flowers on your desk or in your home and attentive people will notice you like flowers...and, flowers should come...if not, be more direct...
Try again. I used to love giving flowers to my guy. Now we grow marigolds and visit the desert blooms.
My wife will often by me a flowering plant. Never cut flowers, because it feels better putting your own flowers in a vase after you've nurtured them.
Express to your female friends that you'd like to get flowers! I sent flowers to a good friend of mine unsure if he'd enjoy it, but once he told me how happy he was to get them, I do it every year.
My ex said he liked flowers so I gifted him some. All other men I know sadly don't care or all for the purpose and what they skid do with them. I would be glad if I could make them smile by gifting flowers but they don't want some (not because it's not "masculine" enough, they are not this way. They just give getting flowers unnecessary)
That would seem a bit strange for me if that happened. I'd rather receive a bottle of scotch :)
Fathers day, anyone? It's a non-holiday and you're just supposed to not care.
Tbh I think mothersday is a non holiday as well as a big bs money machine. As soon as I was able to understand what mothersday/ fathersday really was, I told my parents, that I would not buy flowers or be nicer or more helpful. I am either nice/ helpful/ appreciative all the time or never 🤦♀️ I would usually do random nice things through out the whole year not just on a specific day. Same goes for Valentinesday, just rubbish.
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What GUY wants flowers? Put my hops into beer, otherwise, no use for em
Trying to find the balance of being emotionally vulnerable and masculine in such a way that maintains attraction. This leaks into communication, sex, outward behavior, and damn near everything in a relationship.
I feel like that balance is nearly impossible in American culture, and I wish it were different 😞 vulnerability is a healthy trait for all relationships - women who say otherwise are contributing to toxic masculinity and are not worth your time, as they likely are not capable of healthy vulnerability themselves. Thank you for sharing this.
The ever lasting circle women put us in where they want us to communicate openly and honestly and then when we do, we have to justify what we said and spend a half hour explaining how what we said wasn't an attack on them but rather a logical statement. Gets annoying to the point I don't care to have an opinion anymore.
Married for 43 years and I still get this a lot. One learns to give one-word replies, or none at all.
My wife and I are very affectionate with our young son. Tons of hugs and kisses. I know that there will be a point where he will no longer want that from me specifically but will be okay with her still showing that kind of love.
If we don’t express our emotions in a way that matches expectations, usually through actions and body language, they generally aren’t received or taken seriously, even when communicated clearly. It typically doesn’t matter how we *say* we feel.
Then if we go so far as to have an outburst like yelling or crying, the emotions are finally understood and taken seriously, but they change people’s opinions of us, and usually in a negative way.
There is no “I was just upset” excuse for us. We have to remain in control at all times because we’ll either be considered too scary or too weak, but in doing so, we’re constantly told that we don’t open up enough.
Talking about your mental health. In recent years I've become more open about it but a lot of the men around me just won't open up about it. There are people I know who have ended their life because of mental health issues.
I think it's a difficult conversation no matter your gender, but a lot of men are told to "suck it up" or told that "men don't cry" so they have to keep it all inside.
I had a situation in that I overheard my fiance's mother once say to her in very different words that men have only two emotions. Rage and horny. Basically sounded to me like she thought all men with emotions were just con-men lying to get sex.
Trying to figure out if she’s into you, or just being nice.
The absolute certainty that society doesn't give a flying f**k about you unless you can offer something. There's no net for men, you're on your own.
Note: this post originally had 35 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
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Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
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I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
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Every time I read these posts, I want to stand up, wave my arms and shout "Here I am! I will listen, I will not judge, I don't care if you're tall or short or thin or fat, regardless of orientation etc, I am here; if you need someone to talk to, I'm here; if you need a hug, I'm here x
One that's not really on here: I have two stepkids, but they're older. I came into their life when the youngest was just turning 4. I biologically cannot have my own children. I've always wanted to have a baby with my wife, but it isn't going to happen. Women are seemingly allowed to fawn over babies even if they're strangers. If I think a random baby is cute, I can't do the same, and it makes me sad. I haven't held a baby in a very long time, but I can't just ask to hold people's babies. I'm holding out hope for grandkids, but that's not something that's up to me.
What if the parents were close friends or relatives? At one workplace, several of my male colleagues were fawning over a baby. Personally, I will not hold a baby unless I'm sitting down because I'm scared to drop them - so I'd gladly be the non-fawning woman and let you hold it. I hope you get your wish. Maybe you can say, "I'm looking forward to grandchildren and I need to practice holding babies."
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The one thing I didn't seen on this list is the fact that guys still seem to be expected to be the one to initiate any relationship. Guys are seen as weak if a girl asks them out, and the girls are seen as some slanderous word for sexworker.
Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.
Load More Replies... I have so much admiration for all the men who shared their frustrations! Western society has such absolutely toxic standards/expectations for men. Some men happily feed into it, but I honestly think even more women do! We can't have a change without conversations, awareness, and men bravely embracing their emotions despite the repercussions. Be a rebel, feel your feels, and find healthy spaces where you're safe to express your emotions💜
We're not ready for The Horizontal Mambo 100% of the time at the drop of a hat. If we're not In The Mood, it doesn't automatically mean we're cheating on you, no longer attracted to you, or secretly gay.
What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?
Hey male/male identifying Pandas? ... Trolls, this excludes you. Anyway, I love you. I care about you. I'm glad you're here. I don't know if you can send messages on here, but if you can and you need someone... Reach out to me, okay? And if no one's told you today: you look handsome.
I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )
These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/
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I hate this. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every part of you will be hated. No matter your race, gender, personality, and no matter how hard you try to do the best you can you will be hated. But, at least some people share love. We need more love and hope in this world, not abuse, hate, and discrimination. But there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
Just reading through the comments here, it's really obvious that very few people care about men or care about men's issues. I see a lot of dismissing, minimizing, mocking, victim-shaming and victim-blaming, but precious little sympathy or understanding.
I think it's compassion fatigue; it's more than a little grating when the article is '--things women will never understand', when many of the entries on this list are things we not only understand, but go through ourselves. It shows an exhausting lack of awareness for the problems women face as well as men, and to be brutally honest for a moment, I personally have a harder time sympathizing with men when a number of the problems on this list are of their own making (not showing emotions, having to be the breadwinner, etc.). I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying they deserve to suffer. What I am saying is that, I feel like if some of these men paid even a little more attention to their female counterparts, they'd realize that many of their issues are not unique.
Load More Replies... Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves
Very interesting posts, but how come so many are redundant? I read the same things twice. BP could clear up and keep the most interesting even if it means less posts, instead of trying to make a long list as a policy.
I feel for the men in these posts. I really do. But given the title of the article, a lot of the items on this list show an exhausting lack of awareness of women's problems; we absolutely understand a lot of the entries on this list, because we also live with them. Firstly, it means that because many of these entries are not unique, it means they are not alone in their struggles. Secondly, the change needs to come from men; patriarchy was made by men, for men, and to dismantle the parts of it that are harmful, it needs to be men who redefine what it means to be a man.
Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.
You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.
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Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.
Sadly, women have lists like this too! What's needed is for people to start talking and LISTENING and trying to see things from the other side. Not just trying to get your side "winning". It's the only way this works! It's why the US is so f*cked up too
Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.
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So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.
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This is a toxic take. The idea that promoting attention on men's issues removes attention from women's issues is insane. Saying posts like this "detracts attention from real issues" is saying that men's issues aren't real, which only makes the actual men's issues worse. That's like saying raising awareness of prostate cancer detracts from awareness of ovarian cancer. Very bad take. It's all important, and this kind of thinking only makes matters worse for everyone.
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This post actually serves to highlight that a lot of the issues suffered by women as a result of toxic masculinity also have repercussions for men too. Women have been encouraging men to feel, communicate, express, ask for help and engage emotionally - not only for our own benefit but for yours too. Gender roles don't serve anyone well. You don't need to be tough, brave, male, alpha, stoic, lonely or otherwise emotionally void. Please share.
Indeed. Feminism means liberation for men, too.
Load More Replies... Took my 13 year old daughter to her first concert earlier this year and had to book a hotel room for the weekend. My first thing to pack was my ID and my daughter's birth certificate. Why?.....so I had proof that she was my daughter and I wasn't a sexual predator if I was called out. Also having to explain to my daughter why have to do such things. It still makes me really upset to think that I have to prove my innocence before I have to enjoy something with my kids. By the way, we had a fantastic weekend and she got to see r favourite artist, Yungblud.
OK but what is the root of the problem...why do you have to do that ?
Load More Replies... I don't know if I should be more surprised or saddened by the lack of empathy from people in the comments. "Until all suffering is equal, yours has no value" is a terrible standard... I guess it's just disappointing...
I think what most are saying is that the rules of suffering need to change for everyone.
Load More Replies... Every time I read these posts, I want to stand up, wave my arms and shout "Here I am! I will listen, I will not judge, I don't care if you're tall or short or thin or fat, regardless of orientation etc, I am here; if you need someone to talk to, I'm here; if you need a hug, I'm here x
One that's not really on here: I have two stepkids, but they're older. I came into their life when the youngest was just turning 4. I biologically cannot have my own children. I've always wanted to have a baby with my wife, but it isn't going to happen. Women are seemingly allowed to fawn over babies even if they're strangers. If I think a random baby is cute, I can't do the same, and it makes me sad. I haven't held a baby in a very long time, but I can't just ask to hold people's babies. I'm holding out hope for grandkids, but that's not something that's up to me.
What if the parents were close friends or relatives? At one workplace, several of my male colleagues were fawning over a baby. Personally, I will not hold a baby unless I'm sitting down because I'm scared to drop them - so I'd gladly be the non-fawning woman and let you hold it. I hope you get your wish. Maybe you can say, "I'm looking forward to grandchildren and I need to practice holding babies."
Load More Replies... The one thing I didn't seen on this list is the fact that guys still seem to be expected to be the one to initiate any relationship. Guys are seen as weak if a girl asks them out, and the girls are seen as some slanderous word for sexworker.
Fortunately I think this one is changing. Slooowly.
Load More Replies... I have so much admiration for all the men who shared their frustrations! Western society has such absolutely toxic standards/expectations for men. Some men happily feed into it, but I honestly think even more women do! We can't have a change without conversations, awareness, and men bravely embracing their emotions despite the repercussions. Be a rebel, feel your feels, and find healthy spaces where you're safe to express your emotions💜
We're not ready for The Horizontal Mambo 100% of the time at the drop of a hat. If we're not In The Mood, it doesn't automatically mean we're cheating on you, no longer attracted to you, or secretly gay.
What dark place have I taken as home, where my response to the cry of humanity is only dismissal and righteous condemnation because “my team” is the only worthy humanity?
Hey male/male identifying Pandas? ... Trolls, this excludes you. Anyway, I love you. I care about you. I'm glad you're here. I don't know if you can send messages on here, but if you can and you need someone... Reach out to me, okay? And if no one's told you today: you look handsome.
I don't understand the men with their children comments. Where I live the parks, pools etc are full of men with their kids. Nobody gives a s**t ( apart from the occasional nut case I guess )
These comments are scaring me because if I see a child I will say "Ah, he/she is cute", do people think I'm a pedo? :/
Load More Replies... I hate this. Everywhere you go, everything you do, every part of you will be hated. No matter your race, gender, personality, and no matter how hard you try to do the best you can you will be hated. But, at least some people share love. We need more love and hope in this world, not abuse, hate, and discrimination. But there is nothing I can do about it, no matter how hard I try.
Just reading through the comments here, it's really obvious that very few people care about men or care about men's issues. I see a lot of dismissing, minimizing, mocking, victim-shaming and victim-blaming, but precious little sympathy or understanding.
I think it's compassion fatigue; it's more than a little grating when the article is '--things women will never understand', when many of the entries on this list are things we not only understand, but go through ourselves. It shows an exhausting lack of awareness for the problems women face as well as men, and to be brutally honest for a moment, I personally have a harder time sympathizing with men when a number of the problems on this list are of their own making (not showing emotions, having to be the breadwinner, etc.). I'm not saying it's right, I'm not saying they deserve to suffer. What I am saying is that, I feel like if some of these men paid even a little more attention to their female counterparts, they'd realize that many of their issues are not unique.
Load More Replies... Men can thank the patriarchy for all of these. It was designed to oppress women, but damn, did it backfire on themselves
Very interesting posts, but how come so many are redundant? I read the same things twice. BP could clear up and keep the most interesting even if it means less posts, instead of trying to make a long list as a policy.
I feel for the men in these posts. I really do. But given the title of the article, a lot of the items on this list show an exhausting lack of awareness of women's problems; we absolutely understand a lot of the entries on this list, because we also live with them. Firstly, it means that because many of these entries are not unique, it means they are not alone in their struggles. Secondly, the change needs to come from men; patriarchy was made by men, for men, and to dismantle the parts of it that are harmful, it needs to be men who redefine what it means to be a man.
Well just one or two posts of something fun would have been nice, PB is so F depressing most of the time.
You are right, Gary. Some days the vast majority of posts are negative. I suppose BP has analytics that show the depressing ones get more views and comments which is what it's all about.
Load More Replies... Read through everything and I almost wish I hadn't. It's 5:30 am and I kinda wanna die.
Sadly, women have lists like this too! What's needed is for people to start talking and LISTENING and trying to see things from the other side. Not just trying to get your side "winning". It's the only way this works! It's why the US is so f*cked up too
Honestly, Sara, I see lists for women on BP about once a week, but I agree: communication is absolutely essential.
Load More Replies... So... men's struggles don't matter? In your push for equality, you've accidentally done the oppisite.
Load More Replies... This is a toxic take. The idea that promoting attention on men's issues removes attention from women's issues is insane. Saying posts like this "detracts attention from real issues" is saying that men's issues aren't real, which only makes the actual men's issues worse. That's like saying raising awareness of prostate cancer detracts from awareness of ovarian cancer. Very bad take. It's all important, and this kind of thinking only makes matters worse for everyone.
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