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When Elizabeth Aura McClintock, Ph.D., who, among many other areas, researches mating selection, gender, and sexuality, conducted a nationally representative survey of about 15,000 young women and men (average age 22), she found that to 82 percent of men (and 84 percent of women), being married someday is "very" or "somewhat" important.
Additionally, young women and men differ little in reported relationship commitment. "Gender differences do exist among young adults in the...data, but they do not indicate an insurmountable rift between women's and men's desired romantic trajectories," the sociologist explained.
However, that doesn't mean that guys have it all figured out. They still experience doubts. So when one Reddit post asked fellas to share their biggest insecurity as boyfriends and husbands, many agreed to show vulnerability and obliged.
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#1
that i will never find a woman as awesome as the one I just buried...
I miss my best friend...
SuperChicken 2 years ago
I know. The first on the list and I wasn't prepared, either. I really feel bad for the guy. I hope he's feeling, at least, a bit better nowadays.
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The Chronic Insomniac 2 years ago
I buried my husband at the age of 48 in March of 2022, and I feel this so deeply. I miss my best friend too. Much love to you <3
majandess 2 years ago
Yeah. I feel this, too. My husband and best friend died right after his 40th in 2019. My heart goes out to you, and anyone who has a chasm in their soul where a loved one should be.
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Michael Travis Risner 2 years ago
You probably won't. But when you're ready and open to finding someone new, you might find out they are awesome in a different way without betraying the memory of the person you lost. I'm sorry for your loss. Truly.
Devilmonkey 2 years ago
I just lost my girlfriend of 16 years just before Christmas. I came home from work to find she never woke up. This comment hit me too hard.
Rens 2 years ago
I understand that feeling; I've just lost my partner who was my very best friend. I waited a long time to meet a man like him, and I believe I too will be alone for the rest of my life because I will never find another man as wonderful as him x
smugdruggler 2 years ago
So sorry dude. Unfortunately I know how hard that is. I was lucky enough to find my "soul-mate" ( for want of a better term ) but it hurts so much to lose her. 17 months and it doesn't seem to be getting any easier.
RELATED:
#2
The fact that I’m about to be a stay at home dad and her parents keep bothering me about what I’m gonna do. She’ll makes significantly more than I ever could and there’s literally no point in me working anymore. I just don’t like being judged.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Older generation have very fixed ideas about gender roles. Ignore them. Stay at home dad: I did this. It's fine. Your kids will probably favour you later in life as a result . That's what happened to me.
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Kudos to you! The time you spent with your children is immeasurable.
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Sabrina Black-Hall 2 years ago
It’s really sad, because if he was the one that worked all the time, he’d most likely be judged for “making” his wife do all the child rearing. Judgmental people will always find reasons to be judgmental. I
Dan Padgett 2 years ago
Had the same issue. Was a SaH dad for 3 years. Enjoy the time with your kid, you'll be fine. The haters can fúck off.
James016 2 years ago
While it can be financially tough, having one parent staying at home is worth it. My wife was a stay at home mum and our son would not be where he is without her spending all that time with him. She taught him the alphabet, to count, to read... the list goes on. Not forgetting all the playing together. It put him at a level ready for school. More so after he was diagnosed as autistic. Then it really did make the difference.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
There is nothing wrong with a man or a women being the stay at home parent just as long as someone that you trust and cares about your kids are watching them.
Brian O'Grady 2 years ago
I'm a stay at home dad to a 13[f] and a 5[m] my wife makes more than I would and a decent pension. The time you get to spend with your kids is amazing, it's a pity that every family can't have the option of one parent being able to be at home.
#3
That I cannot fix every problem they have and that I am not always the problem when they’re upset. I have to let them be upset and understand it’s not always me and it’s okay to just listen to them.
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
Just ask: - Are you needing to vent or are you looking for solutions - then act accordingly.
Ritchat 2 years ago
Was just about to write that too. Prevents most of our conflicts. :)
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Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
The other day, I burst into tears and the solution that helped me most: my husband hugging me tight, letting me cry, and telling me how it was going to be alright. I had been feeling awful for days and that's what fixed it. Trust me, guys, sometimes just helping us through it is more than enough.
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago
Men usually talk about problems to get a solution, women to feel understood. So men presenting us with a solution in those moments are often met with more tears.. just listen and give us a hug
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Women need to understand that men trying to fix things is how they express empathy. We really do hurt with you. And if something is upsetting to you and we can't fix it, we feel powerless. It's difficult to realize that we can often fix it by allowing you to process it with us.
Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago
Honestly, I don't need the person to solve my problem, just to listen--unless I ask for help. But I'll ask.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
Can you explain this to my spouse? Because it would be nice if more people understood this…
#4
That I am not good enough, in any sense of the word, and that my partner is "just settling" because I'm stable.
Can't help but feel sometimes they're just waiting for something better to come alone, ya know?
Falcon 2 years ago
That seems like a typical self-esteem thing. Find in yourself what's causing it and start working on fixing it. I know that from personal experience and I actually believe in the saying "You need to love yourself before you are truly able to love somebody else."
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
"You need to love yourself first" is a myth, and often a harmful one at that. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-fitness/201001/you-dont-need-love-yourself-first
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Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Then just strive to be the best person you can be. Not just the best man, but the best person. She’ll appreciate it—-any reasonable woman would—-and if she doesn’t, then she doesn’t deserve you.
Brian O'Grady 2 years ago
Dude I feel exactly what you mean. I always feel that I'm not good enough for her and the I'll end up alone if someone better comes along. But that's on me that's how I feel but she loves me I know that and she feels that I mean the world to her and that I'm her soul mate. She constantly reassures me but my insecurities do get the better of me.
a Widda 2 years ago
My second husband thought that Id married him for his money (600 a month mil temp disability). He refused over 12 years to see that I loved HIM. It effected the way he treated me (he had other issues too and so I am not gonna say this is everything) And told me all the time I only loved him or married him for the money (good gods it was 600 and 2004...that's not rent) My deep love for him got twisted by this (and other things) I know very few women who really are with someone just for the stability. I mean... It's a whole cliche that women go for bad boys or men the have to support. I do know that the person I am with now, I love for the fact that I trust he will never harm me. That deep trust and stability he gives me, is Why I love him. Did I wanna have sex first, duh. Did I want other things in that first blush. Of course True real love is trust and the relationship being stable. Sex fades.
𝕜𝕣𝕚𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕟ᴛʜᴇ𝕜𝕚𝕕𝕕 2 years ago
My fiancee has at times said this about me and it absolutely guts me. I love him more than anything in this world and if he doesn't feel that with absolutely no uncertainty, I feel like I'm not doing enough to show him.
#5
The person she tells you not to worry about. Trust me, we know. We can see the change in subtle behaviour and the feeling of 'losing' her.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
Yep, your instincts are probably right. And there's nothing you can do about it. Just confront her directly. I did this. I said "I see you seem happier around so-and-so. If you want to be with him and he'll make you happy I will step out the way. But don't waste my time keeping me around if you are done with me." It hurts like f**k and there's really nothing you can do about it. Assaulting him or whatever will not stop it, it will just make it obvious that you are the AH and that he's the poor victim. All you can do is try be the best version of you possible. Listen to her empathically. Focus on your career when you are not around. Pursue your hobbies that don't involve leaving her alone for hours (ie drop fishing and hiking if she doesn't enjoy those). If he still hovers around and she still seems keen on him, call it quits and give yourself a year or two to get over it.
N. 2 years ago
Oh boy this is NOT good advice at all. This is clingy toxic advice. First of all, don't "confront" your partner over YOUR insecurities. Tell your partner your insecurities using "I statements." She doesn't need your permission to go be with anyone else, my dude. (I don't know what the I statement would be though... I feel unwanted when you enjoy someone else's company too? I feel you don't love me if you have male friends?) Also don't drop your own hobbies so you can be up her butt 24 hours a day. Go ahead and go fishing or hiking, and invite her. It's okay to have your own interests! We need space too.
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Neuropotathy 2 years ago
Maaan, if you can "see the subtle change" I bet everything is looong settled with another guy. And she just gives zero fs if loser notices something or not.
#6
I play with my daughter all the time but at the end of the day, she always prefers mummy.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
that's ok I have a similar issue with my kids. Each kid will select a parent they prefer for subtle reasons.
Stephanie Case 2 years ago
And the preference will change all the time. It's just about what the kid subconsciously relates to and emotionally needs at that age or point in time.
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Tamra 2 years ago
This can change from year to year, it can change based on the child's moods and personality. If you're an engaged, loving parent, that child will need you and want to be with you. When my son was young, he definitely preferred me, but now he's 18, he prefers to hang out with his dad. It's all good.
Francis 2 years ago
my father played a lot with us when we younger. but i would have chosen my mum every time! i felt more secure with her. she was more reasonable, but also the one with the rules. hard to describe tho.
Shark Lady 2 years ago
Children like boundaries and rules, it makes them feel secure.
Load More Replies... Paul Brown 2 years ago
I wonder if maybe you are reading too much into because of insecurity? Not judging at all.
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
Who ever they don't see the most sometimes they enjoy that time sometimes it's the person they are around all the time. What matters is that you love them and they feel safe around you. Yes it is hard but just aways be there for them.
Shelley Bradshaw 2 years ago
It can be the other way round too, I’m devoted to my son but he adores daddy more it seems. It’s tough but I’m just glad he is happy and thriving.
#7
That im too ugly for someone as bright as her. The times i overheard ppl saying we're an unmatching pair is uncountable
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if SHE chooses to be with you, then that is waht counts. I've found that women are not that interested in how a man looks but more what his qualities are like other than that.
Diana Robison 2 years ago
Not completely false... Sometimes it's looks that turn a head but that won't make us stay... Also, we can 100% fall for someone we initially found unattractive (and in the process they become attractive to us) just by the qualities they exhibit
Load More Replies... Tamra 2 years ago
My husband is not conventionally handsome, but I love him more than anything or anyone. He's the best person I know, and I've been privileged to know many good people. He is beautiful to me in ways I cannot adequately explain.
RafCo (he/him) 2 years ago
Do me a favor, and go tell your husband that. Feel free to skip that part where he isn't conventionally handsome. I'd be willing to bet it's been a while since he's heard a compliment, and this is a good one. He's a lucky guy, and he'll be reminded of that.
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Lee Banks 2 years ago
My first love was short, overweight, prematurely balding, wicked acne scars, blonde, and had a grating high pitched voice. To this day, he is one of the most talented, kind, responsible, funny, and intelligent humans I've ever met. He dumped me because of this exact insecurity. I was devastated. If she loves you, she loves you.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Looks fade anyway, but intrinsic qualities last forever. This goes for both men and women.while there’s nothing wrong with tending to your appearance, don’t obsess over it. Find a style that suits you, looks natural on you, and doesn’t take all day to achieve. Spend the rest of your time tending to your health, your mind, your wit and humor, your confidence, your self esteem, your inner strength, and your kindness. They’re the most important things to develop anyway, as you’ll need them your whole life, including when you can no longer skate by on looks alone (you shouldn’t be that shallow anyway).
Mason Kronol 2 years ago
If you look at a pic of my husband before we met you wouldn't recognize him. I didn't try to change him but as a cosmetologist I gave him a good haircut and suggested instead of T-shirts to wear a polo. He was amazed at how much more respect he got from people, became a manager and started wearing dress pants instead of jeans. I didn't want to change who he was, a good man who stands up and moves your chair at a restaurant, but he needed a little boost on how to look more professional and it boosted his confidence. He still farts in his sleep and has a hairy a*s. Nothing I can do about that.
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Yeah, okay. 2 years ago
It's unusual to see a really handsome man - most all guys are just guys, and I've dated men who were up and down the spectrum of looks. The most handsome, Brad-Pitt-worthy guy I dated was shallow and didn't care about me at all. I settled on a very average guy with an amazing heart - and honestly, maybe because we've been brought up on fairy tale "Beauty and the Best" bs, but I think most girls are the same as well - looks fade, personality doesn't. There are always going to be shadow women, but surely by now you know the heart of the lady you chose.
Yeah, okay. 2 years ago
*shallow. Not shadow, interesting as that may be.
Load More Replies... Elaine Morinelli 2 years ago
What the holy f**k!!! You totally know she could get anyone and she chose you. Tell those people to f**k off.
#8
Not knowing why the f they would ever love me. So there must be a other reason and it can't be money.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
I have four older brothers. Having grown up with all their horsing around and being typically gross (you know, the usual, like three of them pinning the fourth down, then sitting on them and farting, stuff like that), I had the exact same thought as each of them got married. Why the F would any respectable woman even be initially attracted to them, much less marry them? But they did, and happily.
Jessica N 2 years ago
I dated a guy like this for over a year. Had similar job to mine, similar tastes. The most intelligent and clever guy I've ever met. No matter what I did he didn't believe that he was worth loving. We can't prop you up forever, you need to believe you are worthy. The self-doubt turned into verbal abuse of me because obviously something was wrong with me for wanting to be with him. When someone shows you who they are believe them. Not just the bad but the good too.
Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago
Same. My love for him just proved to him that there must be something wrong with me.
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LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago
Tried to date a guy like this.. loved everything about him but his low self esteem didn't allow him to believe me. Gave up after a long 1.5 yrs of sticking around, supporting him, showing him I care.. and I know that he will see my giving up as proof that I 'didn't actually want him'.
Fluffy Cat Sleeps 2 years ago
Ask. And believe them. And see if you can find therapist to help with your self esteem.
Ela 2 years ago
One: you could ask her. Two: you could see a therapist because it sounds likely you are a much better person than you think you are. Three: if it ain't money, you may safely assume you are good at SOMETHING that she likes and wants to keep. I'll leave the figuring out of what your talent is that attracts the lady up to you...but it's apparently better than money.
Shannon Hawks 2 years ago
most good people feel they are not good enough. being humble has some side effects
#9
I am nothing but a collection of insecurities
Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago
Can you access therapy? or group therapy or a support group? The thought of reaching out for help can be scary but it's so much better than suffering on your own. I promise.
Neuropotathy 2 years ago
This is not your fault. Giggles "oh modern men are so inSeCUrE" are from vampires who feast on your guilt.
#10
That it isn’t real. Just someone having fun with a guy who’s gullible enough to let himself think he found somebody who actually cares for him
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
that's sad but think about it this way. You are with someone. If she doesn't value you and drops you at some stage, you already know the ropes and managed to find someone. You'll find a new someone again. Don't stress about it. Is there something specific that makes you feel like she doesn't care? It's possible also that she's a narcissist. Does she ever ask you about your mental states/happiness levels?
Labellesouris 2 years ago
Maybe you're overthinking it. Why don't you enjoy your relationship? That might be nice, huh?
#11
That when she says "it's okay" it's not okay
Tamra 2 years ago
This is a tough one. I was guilty of doing this for years...saying things were "fine" or "okay" when they definitely were not. It wasn't fair to either of us. I grew up in violence and fear and learned to make myself and my feelings as small and unnoticeable as possible. Took a lot of therapy to unlearn.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Yep. the other word of death is "fine". Fine means "I am not fine and you go ahead and do that but you will be punished with the silent treatment for at least two days". -- My experience, don't downvote if you've had a different experience.
GettingCereal 2 years ago
I still consider that as "fine". Because they may be angry now, but they also know it's not a deal breaker issue and ultimately it's going to be fine. It could however happen that if the same thing is done too often that it turns into an actual issue.
Load More Replies... majandess 2 years ago
This is a sign of giving up. There is some consideration or emotional need that is not being met, they are unable to convey it in words (for multiple reasons - they aren't introspective enough, they don't know the words, they're too upset), and they are feeling helpless. [Note: if they are an a*****e, they can use this as a weapon, but I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume they aren't being abusive first.]
Alealary 2 years ago
It's not about gender. It's whether the person is grown up enough to deal with their feelings and commmublnicate directly... or not.
C.B. 2 years ago
That's a tad harsh. I genuinely struggle to connect with my emotions immediately. I might know that something has hurt me but I am unable to articulate why straight away so I answer with "I'm fine." I need time to think it over, evaluate and respond. I have experienced a great deal of trauma in my life. I recognise and I am trying my best to improve my communication skills but unlearning unhelpful/negative coping strategies takes time, patience and perseverance. It is absolutely nothing to do with how "grown up" I am. One day I hope to have the same, fantastic "commmublnicate" (?) skills you have.
Load More Replies... #12
Giving them the feeling of not being there for them enough.
I tend to be very quiet and introverted. I've been told several times that I'm too much in my head and that they have the feeling I'm not "actually there". But I try to work on it and be more open about my feelings and stuff
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
This is very important. This destroyed my marriage. Please go get tested for ASD. Try empty your thoughts and try engage her in conversation. If this is too difficult, then at least try do it when you are around her, and spend the rest of your time at the office so you feel less pressure to do this.
a Widda 2 years ago
I both do this, and have a partner that does this. Communicate. My partner asked me "I know I dont talk a lot, so do I need to let you know I love you more, am I expressive enough". I've asked my partner "I think your love expression is gifts and I don't do a lot of gifts so I need to know if you do feel that I love you" Sitting for long terms if silence in comfort is a sign if a healthy relationship BTW!
a Widda 2 years ago
I have high anxiety, cptsd, and am ND, and I'm often in my mind ruminating for days and days on end. So I ask. "is there anything that you feel you're not heard in, is there anything that I should be doing to help you feel my love for you." Not all at once lol, or it's overwhelming for someone I think. Yet questions like these are considered part of healthy relationships. And you can during these times express... I know I'm in my head, I need you to know it's not on you, it's my head.
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Neuropotathy 2 years ago
Once again building your guilt out of nothing. Wait if she needs your presence or attention 24*7, she is iNsEcuRe?! XD
#13
That I'm not worthy of her. She's the total package and I'm just... me. What makes it really crazy is that we have been together for almost 34 years and I still feel this way. In no way, shape, or form has she shown me that this might be true. She's literally the perfect partner.
Labellesouris 2 years ago
Time to take a breath buddy...and maybe a nice trip to celebrate year 35!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if SHE chooses to be with you, then that is what counts. I've found that women are not that interested in how a man looks, earns, etc but more what his qualities are like other than that.
#14
Being able to afford my family the life the deserve, because they deserve it
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago
Your wife can contribue to that as well. Why do men still think their only value is in providing abd they need to be the sole provider?
FR13K SHOW 2 years ago
Because women are currently itemizing our value and worth. The whole 'i don't need no man' movement
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DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
Always a big factor in my decisions and the main reason why I haven't really pursued have a family...it's expensive and I don't make a lot.
#15
My biggest insecurity is breaking down the walls and letting someone in. I've only ever managed to fully do that once, and that girl basically just told me her problems will always trump mine, and I should just stop bringing them up to her because she doesn't care. (Pretty much word for word what she said)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
So you dated a narcissist. Leave her. If she teases you for being vulnerable and saying what your emotional states are, and your insecurities, and she doesn't help you face them and deal with them, and she doesn't reassure you, then she's not worth keeping. Find someone who is kind.
Yeah, okay. 2 years ago
Look for a woman who is beautiful inside. She wasn't. Move on. They are out there, I assure you.
Randy Klefbeck 2 years ago
In not so many words but with actions, yep. She never bothered to ask, and consistently (nearly constantly) attracted chaos of her own making. There was never any room for me to tell her anything, because there was always a crisis going on for her.....plus her anger issues that I never confronted her about.
Patricia Stilwell 2 years ago
Wow. You can do better than her. She sounds like a complete user. There are so many more worthy humans out there. You are worthy of having a good relationship.
Mari Mar Pinta 2 years ago
That wasn't the young woman for you... you dodged a bullet and consider yourself blessed for seeing her for cruel pos she was...
#16
I married her because she is the only woman I have been with that actually makes all my insecurities go away.
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago (edited)
If that is the only reason then this is not a good reason. No one should get married just for that - does he love her? Then, good. But does he just see her as someone he feels save with? Nice, but not good enough to get married. I know so many men who get married because of good sex, because they feel comfy, but not for love. And that's not fair to their wives who love their husbands and whose worlds would be crushed if they knew. That's why I'm staying single- I would never be able to not question my partner's motives to be with me after all those stories I heard
Load More Replies... #17
That one day, out of seemingly nowhere, they’ll no longer care for me. And when it happens, it hurts
Fluffy mommy panda 2 years ago
I think everyone is afraid of this to some point or they think about it. It something anyone would about when you need help or are having health issues and such.
Widdershins66 2 years ago
Fear of abandonment. Yes. And if it happens it does hurt but why would you stay with someone who doesn't love you? You are worthy of reciprocal love. Please ask for help, you deserve it x
Mia Black 2 years ago
It Hurts, because there are good memories and Feelings and so. We have to learn to be thankful for it in our loss. I fear that someday me or my Partner will fall out of love because it can happen and you can do as much about it as you can when you fall IN love. With this in mind i am Always thankful for the good days and love i got (but as a teen i wanted to rather not fall in love because i somehow knew, it would hurt so bad, If it endet, that it seems not worth it ....then i fell in love 🙄 and could do nothing but enjoy what i got because it was to sweet to Not...)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
that's sad but think about it this way. You are with someone. If she doesn't value you and drops you at some stage, you already know the ropes and managed to find someone. You'll find a new someone again. Don't stress about it. Is there something specific that makes you feel like she doesn't care? It's possible also that she's a narcissist. Does she ever ask you about your mental states/happiness levels?
Labellesouris 2 years ago
Who hurt you? You've cut and pasted this answer everywhere...do you need to talk? Let me know.
Load More Replies... #18
Well I quit my job to pursue my dream of owning my own business but it's going to take a long time to get there so right now, I'm just a stay at home dad.
I thought it'd feel awesome being at home and being with my daughter while my wife works. It is awesome being with my daughter each day but man I feel kinda crappy now being a stay at home dad, like I'm not doing my part as a husband and father.
N Miller 2 years ago (edited)
But you are. Re-frame at least half of this because you are taking care of your daughter all day, every day. This is... wait for it... A father! You literally cannot father any harder than this.
Adam L 2 years ago
I get it. When you used to support your family financially and then that stops and your watching your spouse work to support the household, you feel like you're not contributing anymore even though you are in a way. I went through that for a while, but in conversations with my wife she helped remove that feeling because she keeps reminding me how amazing I am taking care of our son and keeping on top of things at home. Plus, she loves spoiling me like I used to do for her lol
Load More Replies... Miss Frankfurter 2 years ago
“Just” a stay at home dad. The word “just” should never be put before the fact that you are her father being lucky enough to be able to be with her in a way so many other fathers aren’t . Don’t beat yourself up. Be happy that you get to do this. You are doing your part as a husband and father. That isn’t always about bringing home the money. The point is you and your wife in this together no matter who does what.
Catastrophisticate 2 years ago
How appreciative would you be if your wife was a SAHM and you were working? Would you feel as though she wasn't contributing? Don't sell yourself short! And don't let people with outdated mindsets make you doubt your (and your wife's) choices.
bob cameron 2 years ago
I agree 100%. Welcome to the 22nd century. We are finally making a bit of forward movement towards equality again!
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Stay at home dad: I did this. It's fine. Your kids will probably favour you later in life as a result . That's what happened to me.
Patricia Stilwell 2 years ago
You are the most important man she will ever know. Enjoy the journey. You will be shocked at how fast it goes by. Treasure these times while you both are young.
Autumn Rose 2 years ago
That’s a bit of a chauvinistic statement. Does that mean if things were switched around you would feel that your wife wasn’t doing her part as a wife and mother?
Puter Prsn 2 years ago
"Just" a stay at home Dad? That's like "Just a Mom". Keeping house, home, and children is never a "just" job!
#19
For me it's feeling like i'm a drag on my partners life. I have several health issues that leave me in extreme pain near constantly, constantly sleep deprived and without any energy or motivation to do anything besides lay in bed and watch tv or listen to music while cuddling with my girlfriend. Meanwhile my girlfriend is a perfectly healthy, energetic and full of life young adult who wants new experiences and doesn't want to spend a minute more than she needs to resting. I try my best to keep up and if i can't do a certain activity she wants to try, i actively encourage her to do whatever it is she is wanting to do (i.e go to an amusement park, go on a road trip, go carting, activities like that) with her friends, but at the end of the day the unavoidable truth is i am a damper on her life and i don't see why someone like that is willing to be in a relationship with someone like me.
Kurichfield 2 years ago
She must really love you for who you are and not what she can do with you...
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
And besides, there is still plenty to *do* while resting with loved ones at home!
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Ches Yamada 2 years ago (edited)
Obviously you're not a damper on her life, though. I'm a chronically ill person as well and I often can do only the basics of life - keep myself clean, fed, the house clean and dog cared for. My husband works very hard to take care of us and it can feel awkward when all I have the energy to do is play video games and sleep, but he knows who I am, and loves me because of that, not despite it.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
I feel this— my spouse and I are both chronically ill, and it is one heck of a balancing act. We’ve *both* apologized to the other for being burdens and both had to remind the other one we knew exactly what we signed up for. Even when you are in the exact same boat, it’s important to remember that empathy
Load More Replies... Luna Crow 2 years ago
Oh man, this almost could've been written by my best friend/primary partner. He's constantly worried that he bores me and one of these days I'll decide not to come stay with him between trips anymore. I try to explain to him that he's the person who feels like "home" to me, and as much as I can't commit to staying in one place all the time, I can't be all over the place all the time either. My time with him is a warm comfy safe space, we share a multitude of common interests and have wonderful conversations, can talk about anything and come up with great ideas together. He's brilliant and hilarious and by far my favorite human I've ever met. I constantly remind him these things, I hope OP's girlfriend reassures her partner too
B Penn 2 years ago
The only damper is your attitude about it! It's healthy for her to do things she wants with friends when you can't/don't want to. The fact that you try is a huge show of how much you care! It's okay to not do everything together, it would only be bad if you were hindering her! My bf hates going to concerts so I go with friends and it's super fun. I love volleyball and wish he would come to open play but I go with others instead and I'm happy with it
naylene hess 2 years ago
I feel this im extremely anxious leaving the house some days and also have alot of back and hip pain (at 26 no less 🙃) and hes able to go out and handle the world and im just here but hes still so wonderful and never has made me feel unloved for having this issue
Rebecca Phillips-Partridge 2 years ago
Take it from me... When you find that "one" all the new experiences in the world won't matter all that much... Getting settled in life with the right partner is something that actually does matter.... You grow with each other. Everyone has limitations, even people who don't have health concerns. Find the balance in the middle of you two ....meet in the middle
#20
That I'll be made fun of if I'm vulnerable. It's happened before, and it's hard to really trust like that again. You wonder "will this be held against me?" wether it's teasing or in a fight. or if she'll tell her friends.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
This really sucks, and sadly sounds like a product of toxic masculinity/femininity. Men should not be afraid to be vulnerable and talk about their feelings, nor should women use private information as a weapon or gossip. When will society stop reinforcing these stereotypes?
Robert Morgan 2 years ago
Society will stop reinforcing those stereotypes when women stop fitting them. Stop psychological assault, stop shaming, and stop gossiping, easy.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
Then take the blinders off, and honestly assess the personality of your SO. Observe them around all different types of people, in all different types of scenarios. Are they cruel to service people or those they’re trusted to manage? Are they cruel to animals or children? Are they honest? Are they kind? Do people truly like them, or just pretend to because they work for or with them, and have to? Are they trustworthy? Love shouldn’t be blind. It should be brutally honest. If you’ve given it some observation and a load of thought, you can then decide if you want to take a more educated chance of being vulnerable in front of them. Or not.
Yeah, okay. 2 years ago
What happens emotionally between me and my husband STAYS THERE. That is an absolute rule and one that should be said. Also, admitted fears and vulnerabilities ARE NOT CANNON FODDER. Another rule that should be said. If you have a difference of opinion, it's not a war between nations where you have to "defeat" the opponent at all costs. It's a tiff between loving partners who care about each other, and if that woman weaponizes your emotions, she been brought up wrong and she needs counseling or you need to leave. That's a deal breaker for me, because it means they are selfish and don't really care about you.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
If she teases you for being vulnerable and saying what your emotional states are, and your insecurities, and she doesn't help you face them and deal with them, and she doesn't reassure you, then she's not worth keeping. Find someone who is kind.
Shaelynn Roll 2 years ago
I know personally all I want is for my partner to be vulnerable with me, so we can have effective communication and continue to have a working relationship. It is so hard to work things out and have a true connection when both parties are not being vulnerable. It is tough to do but so rewarding, and a real game changer for relationships and personal growth.
#21
Why me? Why not somone else? What do i have that you would like?
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago
You know, you can always just ask her. She may love talking about it. Of course, you will then have to tell her why you chose her, so be prepared.
Mimi M 2 years ago
I'm single, but if I was that lucky, I'd not only tell him, I'd make a recording of me telling him so he could listen to it when I wasn't around.
Load More Replies... censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Most important thing is to be a good listener. After that, being funny/fun. If you can get those two right she probably won't choose anyone else.
#22
Not being enough for her. I know I work my butt of at work, emotionally supportive, and giving goals and lead way to what’s next in life. However, there’s always that voice that says you need to be more, it’s not enough, try harder. So, I push the living hell outta myself.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
she probably doesn't want that from you. She probably wants you to be present. So at night instead of sitting on news, games or social media, just sit next to her and be there.
Labellesouris 2 years ago
You are absolutely right. It will mean more to her for you to not try so hard, just relax and as the wise man says -BE THERE
Load More Replies... Jon Steensen 2 years ago
Sounds like the recipy for a burn out, which can swollow people whole, and then you basically won't be able to do anything at all for her. Be carefull there mate, and remember yourself, and that real life if significantly different from what is portrayed in the movies and what various coaches and companies are trying to sell you.
Shannon Hawks 2 years ago
sounds like your doing great to me. everyone's worst enemy is right between our ears
Neuropotathy 2 years ago
As long as you work your butt and not exploit others or carry out schemes. Your own sad cuck fate.
#23
My wife had cancer and now is in remission. I never felt more useless than when we were at the hospital and they told us and I just couldn’t do anything to fix it. I had to hope that someone else could help save my wife’s life. I couldn’t just beat the cancer up or yell at it or tell it to leave her alone, I felt f*****g useless.
Nom E. De Plume 2 years ago
She wasn't "alone"... and that means more than you will ever know. Trust me on this.
Widdershins66 2 years ago
That's life, my love, we have to ask for help and allow appropriate specialist do their best. You're no less of a man/person if you are not a physician /plumber /electrician / therapist etc etc etc. You can be the best in your own field. Allow others to be the best in theirs too.
#24
The lack of money that I make.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
We've had this issue for the past few years. Yes, it is tough, and he is working his hardest to help pay for things. But I make a point to find activities that are free or super cheap for us to do together, because a relationship isn't all about money. I don't need to jetset to be with my mate.
Tree P 2 years ago
You are so right. At this time in our lives, my partner and I are pretty poor. We make do with what we have. Being together is enough for us.
Load More Replies... DennyS (denzoren) 2 years ago
I live with my dad and I can barely afford everything...imagine with a family.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
That’s the other half of the vow. A lifetime together won’t always be richer, better, and in health. There will be times, of varying length and severity, of poorer, worse, and sickness. They’re the truest tests of your relationship. If you can endure them, work together, and stay together, your bond is unbreakable. If you or your SO can’t keep the relationship going unless everything is going great with zero hitches and bumps, then your bond is weak and superficial. You should just part amicably and both go out and find someone else who will stick with you through thick and thin. They’re out there, just try to avoid being taken in by an attractive face, and loom for the real person beneath the good looking surface. A lot of people with physically beautiful outsides have intrinsically evil and fugly insides.
That guy Nic B. 2 years ago
If a women wants a man to take care of her just so she can hang out with her friends, she is …….. help me out here fellas
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
money shortages are tough to deal with. Spend your spare time upskilling.
#25
That i’m still a piece of ✨*Garbage*✨
Kurichfield 2 years ago
We all garbage but just garbage in the places that don't seem to matter to her. One person's trash is another person's treasure.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Stop thinking "I". Clear your mind. Your past actions that you regret show that you recognise that your past-you was not a good person. That means you are a better person now than in the past, because you have improved your moral standing/status by recognising the faults in the past. Previously you thought your actions were cool or ok. Now you see they were not. Therefore, even if you are not a great person, you are getting better.
Yeah, okay. 2 years ago
Don't know why this got down voted. A lot of us have lived s****y past lives and have climbed out of a hole. What they said was true for many people.
Load More Replies... Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
Even garbage is treasure to a raccoon. You just have to find your raccoon.
Some rando dude 2 years ago
.................. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I know it's said in sincerity, but I don't think this archives the level of comfort you thought it would.
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#26
- Not being as good a provider as I know I could be. What am I working *for,* anyway?
- Empathy. She tells me her troubles and my only thought is: How can I fix them? She doesn't want me to fix them, she just wants me to listen and care.
Kurichfield 2 years ago
This is the lesson so many need to learn. Active listening and empathy.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
#2 is so important. I know it can be annoying but women just enjoy complaining sometimes. They want someone to agree with them. To tell them they're right. Not to say you can't tell her if she's being unreasonable, but to be kind about it. One of the best things about my ex was that sometimes I would be mad with someone at work and I'd start taking to him and 3 seconds in he'd be like 'We hate them!' Lol. He didn't even know what it was about or if I was the one in the wrong...he would just be on my side just to make me feel better. And that's the kind of security a woman wants. To know you're *on her side*. When your family is being rude to her. When she's had a bad day at work, or when she's mad at a friend or when she is in trouble.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
Yes, sometimes it's all we need. Also, there are times when you just can't fix the problem. Like that one time our cat was unwell, and I was sobbing to my BF something like "why, just why is she ill'?" Yes, we brought her to the vet first thing, and she was undergoing proper treatment. Yes, I knew he didn't know why and couldn't do anything about the situation. It was just that I couldn't emotionally bear the thought of me being unable to help her, and all I needed was him telling me "it's gonna be fine". Yeah, I'm a big girl, I know sometimes things just won't be fine no matter what you do. But that silly "it's gonna be fine" is still much, much needed sometimes.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
You are working to support your new family unit. You can't fix her troubles, she really does just want you to listen and say "wow that sucks" etc. You might think you need to solve the problems but unless she actually ASKS you to do so, just say, "wow that sucks", "gee", "omg", etc. Sorry to say something potentially sexist but my experience of women uniformly is that they seem to want empathy more than solutions, and men seem to totally misunderstand this and persist in offering solutions. Think about it this way. If you had a rough day at work and came home and started venting, and she said "well why don't you quit" or "well why dont you report him to HR for undermining your work" etc etc... you'd feel (a) that she was irritated by your whining and wanted you to stop whining and (b) that you're an idiot and can't figure out your own solutions, which is patronising. So.... don't do that to her.
deion hegwood 2 years ago
Venting has to be one of the worst activities that being forced onto people. Idk why people think trauma dumping onto someone and getting upset when advice is given to be valid. True empathy is when you understand someone else's emotions and help them through it, not sitting there and listen to someone who just wants to stay a "victim" with no plans of changing that.
Robert Morgan 2 years ago
Being a good listener is cancer for men. You don't get anything from women except exploited as a trauma dump. The terrible thing about being a good listener is people won't stop TELLING YOU S**T.
#27
She’s such a better parent than I am. Between my temper and my size, both of my girls have this “don’t p**s off dad” mentality. It’s effective in the heat of the moment, but I watch her interacting with them and I feel completely inadequate as a parent. Edit: As there seems to be a commonality in the comments here, I’ll note that I have been seeking professional help for both the PTSD and the anger management issues at the core of this. I want to be a better parent for my children, and it’s clear that I need professional help to get there.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
I was afraid of my father growing up and it affected our relationship even now. I think the trick is to counter the behavior with good times with them, too. Play with them as much as you can. When you're in a good mood, be that with them. And, I can't stress it enough (especially for daughters), make them feel like they are pretty to you. Like they are important to you. My father was angry all the time and I thought I was always doing something wrong. A kid doesn't understand psychological issues an adult may have. My dad rarely countered that with fun times/positivity. And I always felt ugly to him. As I hit puberty I gained a tiny bit of weight and he made fun of me or made me feel like I needed to compare myself to other girls. I developed a huge complex because of it. He always says he's proud of me, but he's talking about work. But I'm a disappointment because I''m overweight and not married. I know being pretty isn't everything, but feeling ugly from your dad, it's horrible.
Demosthenes 2 years ago
Your kids like mom b/c she is vulnerable. I know it’s hard to find vulnerability a value as a person raised with masculine ideals. But try. It will mean more to you in life if your children have a genuine connection to you vs. your buddies and coworkers thinking you are “manly”.
#28
The amount of attention she receives. In my head, I can't compete with any of the guys who openly go after her. And I genuinely think she would not give me the time of day if she didn't have a child I am great with.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Does she openly and happily and joyfully receive those attentions from other men? Or does she rebuff them? That's the most important question. If she doesn't rebuff them, tell her it makes you uncomfortable and ask her to try think of how you feel. If she scorns that request, leave her.
Lee Banks 2 years ago
Yo. I need to speak a truth on this one. I have a lot of male friends and acquaintances. I'm 'cool' in the local scene. According to my future husband, I'm constantly being hit on. It worries him. That may be the case, but I don't see it. I've got eyes for only him, and assume everyone around can tell there is Zero chance of changing that. If someone is being super obvious, of course I know, and shut that nonsense down in a swift and respectful manner. Bask in the glory of your lady being so awesome that other people can't help but notice! (Not controlling/jealous behavior. Don't worry. He the cat's pajamas.)
Labellesouris 2 years ago
My question is more are those "attentions" you say she gets from other men truly overt passes or are they courtesies and normal small talk? I agree with the comment below, tell her how you feel and see what happens. Just don't let jealousy ruin something if it doesn't have to.
#29
The potential your wife might leave you is especially concerning.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
She will leave you if (a) you are absent (check-out of the relationship psychologically, or do not meaningfully engage psychologically and verbally when you are around her) (b) you are abusive (c) you both do not have a job and you blame her for it (d) you do not pull your weight in other ways e.g. leave messes around the place (e) you cheat (f) you become or are a druggie or alkie. I think those are the main issues that women leave men over.
Scott Rackley 2 years ago
Or she could leave for none of those. Maybe she's the bad person.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Then don’t make it a self-fulfilling prophecy. Be the best person you can be—-the person she was attracted to and married. Do NOT become clingy or possessive, and especially not angry and violent, or she will definitely leave you.
#30
Why pick me when you have 50 other opportunities at a moment's notice lol
Kate Jones 2 years ago
There are a lot of these posts here and as a woman it's kind of surprising to see. Most women aren't looking for the 'best option'. They aren't lining you all up in their minds to choose the best one because they don't know you yet. (it makes me paranoid that men are doing this! Do you all just go into a place and line all the women up and choose the one who is the most attractive?) Women chose based on behavior a lot more than looks. A super hot guy might get chosen if it's just a booty call, but otherwise we want to get to know you a bit first. Just be a decent guy who isn't a jerk. That's about it. Don't be creepy. And bonus points if we see you do something that impresses us, like being kind to someone like a waiter, or being funny, or talking passionately about something. Be clean and smell good. Those are always helpful, too, lol.
Jenelen Jenelen 2 years ago
People tend to vastly overestimate the attractiveness of the person they're in love with to everyone else. There may be only five opportunities of which two are unbearable a******s who think they're a god's gift to any girl, third is kinda ok, but the chemistry isn't there, fourth is a hot mess express and the fifth one is actually a married man looking for a hookup.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Maybe because you're better than those 50 others? I have to keep reminding myself of that. My latest one's ex was an unemployed pot smoking hippie. So... pretty low bar.
#31
Not being good enough. I’ve felt this way all my life to the point where it’s my normal. This is because of the way my family and friends treated me in the past. So, it was a bit of a shock when my girlfriend treated me the complete opposite way by loving me and telling me that I’m more than enough for her. The feeling of inadequacy comes up from time to time and i still have not fully dealt with it. I am really lucky though to have her as my girl.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
For what it's worth, this happens to women, too. Any time a guy has ever hit on me in the past I think he's joking or that it's not real or it's a joke. It's from years of insecurity and treatment at home. It's been a struggle my whole life to think that when people are nice to me it's not just because they want something. My only advice is to try and think better of yourself. Once you work on that, accepting love and positive attention becomes easier. But it will probably be something you struggle with regularly. Try and keep in mind this person is with you because they love you and no one would be with you that long if they weren't happy.
#32
Dying young and having another man raise my children and f**k my wife. It's all the encouragement I need to live healthy.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Totally. But remember she's not your property, she's a human with her own will and decisions and her body belongs to her. If she offers it to someone else, that's her decision and she is not in fact your property or your sex slave. The legitimate concern you have is WHO she chooses and what kind of stepdad he will be to your kids. If that concerns you, then work really hard on keeping her. The most important thing is to be present. Be around her. Be interested in what she says, how she feels, and what she's doing. Don't drift off into space thinking about your next fishing trip.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
I'd add to this that if you were to die tomorrow in an accident, would you really be upset if a few years down the line she found someone to be a companion and help her and that she may be happy? Don't get me wrong I understand you have a desire for them to be exclusively 'yours'. But you shouldn't want her to wear black and be the grieving widow forever, living alone and unhappy. An appropriate grieving time, sure, but I would want the person I love to find happiness if I'm not there to provide it to her. I got my short time with her and it was wonderful. She'll never love someone the way she loved me ever again. It's always different. Moving on doesn't mean she loved you any less and she won't forget you just because she's with someone else now.
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
A better attitude would be that, should you die first, all you want is for her to be happy. Not to jump in the grave with you, but to continue living her life—-which could include marrying again. Unless you die together, her life won’t end just because you’re dead. Also there’s a number of better, and less crude, ways to put it than “f**k my wife”. Like “make love to”. Your wife will appreciate you being less crude too, btw.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago
So you'd rather your wife not move on and be happy..? Because you don't want your property used by someone else?
James Fuller 2 years ago (edited)
That's a bit harsh and reductive. This is a very human fear and not limited to guys. I can't count the number of times I've heard the women in my life express the exact same fear and insecurity. Take a deep breath and try and leave your own stuff out of this
Load More Replies... LongCoolWomanInABlackDress 2 years ago
That's a horrible one. You should be happy if she found someone willing to commit to raising your kids if that happened. So you live so no other man can have your wife, not to make her happy. Wow.
Robert Morgan 2 years ago
Yes, having to raise some other man's orgasm and take care of his used wife are why so many refuse to engage single mothers in any way these days. It's a giant fear with nearly all men, it's emasculating.
KBT 2 years ago
Those single moms are getting laid way more than you ever will lmfao
Load More Replies... #33
That i will push her away with how weird i am.
Shaelynn Roll 2 years ago
Life is too short- just be you and do your best to embrace it and let others embrace it too! One of the best things I have ever heard in my life was while watching a Jane's Addiction concert on YouTube and Perry Farrell says "if you're not part of the freaks, you're part of the boredom."
#34
I know it is unlikely but dying at the wrong time. Like driving the family somewhere or she is at work (she works odd hours) and it is just me and the kids. I had this walking nightmare for years of me getting like a stroke while driving down the highway and sliding out of control with everyone screaming or me just keeling over at home while my kids sit with my corpse for 6 hours. As for why maybe it is because I like problem solving stuff for them and one day that is going to go away.
#35
my entire lack of libido
Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
I would make sure there isn't a medical condition first. I feel like media and even some hyper-sexed guys have given men a stigma about how they must always want to have sex or something must be wrong with them. But that isn't how it always is. If you aren't, you aren't. And you may simply need to find someone you're compatible sexually with. But I would make sure you aren't missing out on a wonderful part of your life because something is medically/psychologically wrong. A total lack of wanting sex in any way, even occasionally or masturbating, could be a sign of low hormone levels, thyroid issues, etc that you simply have gotten used to so you aren't aware anything is wrong.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Asexuality is real, comes in different levels, and there's nothing wrong with any of it. I've got an ace friend who's been happily in a great relationship for years. Seems the key (like in most any relationship) is honesty, communication, and compromise
Lama 2 years ago
Great comment, let me add that asexuality in its core isn't about libido. You can be ace and still have libido (desire sexual release), or you can have low/no libido while not being ace. Asexuality is about (the lack of) sexual attraction. ✌🏼
Load More Replies... Nom E. De Plume 2 years ago
Ace is aces! Seriously... There are many of us out there, and the sexual component to dating is daunting... but true emotional intimacy is a reward worth seeking.
Jeanie 2 years ago
So my husband takes meds that kill his libido (and aging doesn't help). Look man, women are willing to put up with some s**t (obviously, I mean within reason) for the ones they love. Low libido is one of those things. I have a very high libido. I'm also "in my prime", supposedly. However, I don't force my husband to have sex by guilt tripping him or making it about me. The thing is, it is hard on both partners. My advice? COMMUNICATE. Talk to your partner about what you're feeling/going through. Talk to your partner about what your doctor said! I can honestly say that if I would much rather my husband sit and talk to/cuddle me than avoid me because he doesn't want to have sex. Sex is a crucial part of a healthy adult relationship, but that doesn't mean you have to have it daily, weekly, or even monthly. As long as you and your partner are happy and love each other, than it's okay. Thing is, you just need to talk to your partner about it and not try to ignore it and hope it goes away.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
I agree. You have to TALK to each other. My father developed a horrible groin pain in his late 40s (he has an issue with his prostate) and couldn't have sex without pain. There was no talk with my mom about it. So without warning or even attempting to try and fix the problem, her sex life was over, too. She didn't get a say. Any time she tried to bring it up he would just not want to talk about it with her. He's very old school and just doesn't talk about sex or stuff like that with a woman. She ended up getting really depressed. If he would have talked about it they could try to find ways to have fun together or use toys or something. But he was not open about sex in any way so that was it. She ended up gaining weight because she just felt like ...why bother? And now he constantly harps on her to lose weight. They're in their 70s now and they're still together but it isn't a happy marriage. They live like roommates who bicker. TALK to each other, people!
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#36
I'm 5'6'' and got pretty f****d up during my child and teenage years to the point I am still trying to fix the damage. So yeah, pretty insecure about that. My fiancee is such a wonderful woman and she is gorgeous. I worry that one day she'll see that in herself (Naturally, I am trying to build up her confidence and show her how wonderful she is!) and decide she can do better, but I am doing my best to be the man she needs. ^.^
Kate Jones 2 years ago
I feel so bad for guys with this issue. How can you control that, lol? But just in general it's such a dumb thing to care about. I'm from southcoast Massachusetts (US) and most guys here are Portuguese and they are shorter in general. When I see a tall guy I'm actually taken back a little. It's so weird how guys are given cr@p about their height. And it's not in their minds, either- I've seen women saying this. Not all women care, I promise you. And a lot of times the women who cares isn't offering much on her end so I wouldn't bother with them. Find yourself a 5'2 girl (or a 6'3 girl!) who will not give a da*m about height.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Women seem to be more interested in personality than looks. So maybe she traded up. Maybe the last guy was a narcissistic jerk.
#37
That she will leave me. I never express this to her because I know it's unattractive. But I feel like I'm dying sometimes just thinking about it.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
She will leave you if (a) you are absent (check-out of the relationship psychologically, or do not meaningfully engage psychologically and verbally when you are around her) (b) you are abusive (c) you both do not have a job and you blame her for it (d) you do not pull your weight in other ways e.g. leave messes around the place (e) you cheat (f) you become or are a druggie or alkie. I think those are the main issues that women leave men over.
#38
What if she doesn't actually like me, and she's staying with me as a dare or joke with her friends?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Maybe because you are worthwhile. Try figure out what your good points are. Ask your male friends.
Lama 2 years ago
Why male friends? Wouldn't friends in general know what makes you a nice/interesting person, independent of their gender?
Load More Replies... #39
My neighbor, because he's very tactile with my wife and always asking me to call before I come home.
Charlie the Cat 2 years ago
Your neighbour asks you to call before you come home? Your wife is having an affair.
Kate Jones 2 years ago (edited)
Why would you need to call your neighbor before you come home??? That is the sketchiest thing I've ever heard and anyone with any sense at all would be questioning that. I don't understand people who don't question things that don't make sense.
#40
I'm an athletic guy but I'm constantly scared of not being able to protect them, if some 250 lb Muay Thai fighter disrespects or hurts her then I have no idea what I'd ever do
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Hahaha... Ok, firstly, how likely is that to ever happen? Also, most women aren't delicate butterflies in need of protection. One of the many things I love about my bestie is that if it looks like I'm getting into it with someone he'll stand back, but keep an eye on the situation. And I've only gotten him involved once in the 15 years we've been hanging out
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
First, many women learn how to strategically place a kick or a bite or a slash with fingernails or a blow with whatever object is at hand. Just enough to incapacitate long enough to get away. Most women don’t know they have it in them to fight like a wildcat until they’re in a situation where they have to—-and hopefully they do, instead of shut down. Second, why tf would you take her anywhere that kind of scenario would play out? Why tf would you want to go someplace like that, even by yourself? That’s just asking for trouble, and when you have someone else to think of besides yourself, you learn to actively avoid s**t like that.
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 2 years ago
You don't have to worry about that. Most women would rather you not get arrested. I mean, if some guy came up to me and slapped me in front of you, I'd hope you'd react like any...even a friend would. You may not win the fight but you shouldn't sit there and let that happen. But if there's security on site, or a bouncer or something, you should stay with me and call them over to throw the guy out. A woman isn't going to blame you if you're walking down the street and you get mugged by someone with a gun and just do what they say. It could possibly cause more of a problem if you do try and do something. He was just going to rob us but now you're getting him angry so he could kill me in anger because you're trying to act like a big man. Robbery training specifically tells people- I don't care if you think you can beat them, let them take the money and go. It's not your life you're playing with... it's everyone else's.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
The chances of this happening is very low unless you guys regularly go to jock bars. Just don't got to places where so-called "alphas" hang out and you will be fine. You do not need to protect her. What you need to do is photograph her assailant, ensure that it automatically uploads to the cloud, and then lay a charge of assault, followed by a restraining order. Having a lifetime criminal record, for the muaythai guy, is a far bigger problem than a bruised jaw.
#41
That I'm not attractive... Always feel that she's "settled"
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Women seem to be more interested in personality than looks. So maybe she traded up. Maybe the last guy was a narcissistic jerk.
#42
I have the worst trust issues. Probably an adhd thing but my brain is always contemplating the worst scenarios and ill kinda need reassurance or ill overthink. It's the worst feeling but I cant help it. Had multiple arguments about it. She gets annoyed and thinks I'm accusing her all the time. I'm nit I just need that reassurance to put my mind at ease. I don't like it and I wish I could turn it off but I can.. I'm like... you can be as grumpy with me i understand why, And I apologise I'm like this. But I have no choice in the matter. I just overthink everything. But because of these insecurities. I always make the extra effort to keep her from worrying. Takes a couple seconds to just send her a snapchat so she knows what I'm up to, she wants to go on my phone? (She never does) Take it. You know my password. I have nothing to hide so why should I get upset? I do feel a lot of relationships crash because of insecurities, I don't understand why if someone is the type of person that needs reassurance, you can't just... make the effort to reassure them?
Lama 2 years ago
This is a complicated issue, because if it's ADHD related, it won't just go away. I have come up with a kind of guide to help me with this. I will post it here, maybe it can help others.
Lama 2 years ago
1) Try distracting yourself. With ADHD, often these thoughts are a result of getting stuck in loops and simple distraction will get you out.
Load More Replies... #43
My gf becoming dissatisfied with the relationship and slowly losing the affection she has for me eventually leading her to cheat.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
I find this happens in a lot of relationships, in fact something like 40%. So it's a real possibility. Just be the best you can and stop thinking about it. Your downer mood and brooding over the possibility will bring her mood down and she will definitely leave you if you are always a downer to be around.
Lama 2 years ago
Whoa with the assumptions. Who says he's being a downer? And where do you get this percentage anyway?
Load More Replies... #44
I don't have a relationship with my family so I don't really have a support system at all. They abused the hell out of me growing up, so. I also have really bad PTSD from a myriad of other traumas and just have to deal with it and be strong for myself and my wife. I don't have a choice and it's really hard to keep it together most of the time. I feel like I live in my own personal hell but I do my best to fill up my free time with art, reading, music, you name it. The state of humanity right now really bums me out and I'm getting more sad every day. I'm going to keep it up, though. I feel like that line in Fight Club, "everyone is just waiting for their turn to talk."
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Good that you are away from your family but you need to build another support network. The state of humanity right now is objectively better than previous times where people died like flies from disease and war. I think you are spending too much time in your head. I suggest going for more walks in the park and getting a therapist. You aren't ready for a relationship either.
Lama 2 years ago
Wow, your advice seems really well-meant, but who are you to judge whether they should be in a relationship or not? It might be worse for both parties of they were to split up. Having issues to work through doesn't necessarily mean you have to be single.
Load More Replies... #45
I lack a lot of confidence in my sexual performance. Due to having what I believe less experience than the majority of my peers as well as a poor stamina.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
It doesn't help that most people these days learn how to have sex through porn. here's my advice: There's nothing more fun that playing with your partner in bed and telling each other what you like. Jokingly and positively go to your girl and tell her not to make plans on __ day because you want to spend the whole day in bed just trying new things and figuring out what she likes the best. I promise she'll laugh and probably think your crazy but she'll appreciate your effort and if you frame it in a fun way, like you plan on getting takeout and eating in bed and just staying there, she'll do it. Really have fun with it. Be silly. Grab her legs. Ask questions. I mean, you can't bang the gong all day but you can just have fun together. And you can tell her things, too. Your sex life will greatly improve if you learn to just be fun with each other.
#46
That I don't find her attractive anymore. It makes me feel like s**t. I need therapy about it because I've been lying to her about my attraction for some time and I really don't think that's good...
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
The best thing you can do, if you have any integrity, is to move on. It will hurt her and you but it's not going to go away.
Lama 2 years ago
That is way too simplistic. Lack of attraction could just be a symptom of something else, within OP or the relationship. It's worth looking into, because if there is an underlying problem you can fix, why throw away the whole relationship?
Load More Replies... Kate Jones 2 years ago
You can't help who you're attracted to. You're not a bad guy because you can't force yourself to be attracted to her. But the thing here is that you once were, I'm assuming, and we have to ask what's changed? Is it something you can talk to her about? Does it affect your love for her? I mean, if you married someone at 120 pounds and she's now 600 pounds...I get we marry someone because we love them but we also want what's best for them and if she's clearly unhealthy then you have the right to be questioning that. Are you just in general feeling unattracted but she hasn't changed or done anything drastic to affect your attraction to her? If that's the case, then I would ask what it was about her you fell in love with and have a serious conversation with yourself about why this is suddenly a problem.
#47
I'm worried that I've gotten boring. I don't think I'm any more boring than the average dude, but since we've been together for so long I don't really have a lot of mystery and excitement left. I'm hoping graduating and the pandemic ending will add a lot of new options for date nights.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
It can start to get boring after being together a long time. That's part of the work involved in making relationships work, coming up with something new, remembering to make time to have fun together, planning a sweet surprise.. it's still fun work though when it's coming from the heart
#48
Not knowing if I’m ever good enough
#49
That I could be or should be doing better as a husband and father.
#50
The fear of not continuing to make the money I do. Over time my life has become dependent of my income, but it’s rare to get paid the way I do. So I genuinely fear not being able to find a job to keep my obligations in check. And before you say that I could downsize my life, I did. I have no debt, but because my ex and I were married for so long she gets about 2/3’rds my paycheck. I’m legally obligated to pay her that.
#51
Not doing enough to supporrt her emotionally. I grew up moving around a lot, being on my own, and then having my only family memeber die. It's hardened me and made me closed off. She is the black sheep of her family and is really seeking a lot of affection and cuddling, parts of me that I have to work on.
#52
Money, supporting my family, because cost of living is f****d.
#53
That our marriage is only here because we have kids. That I'm never going to make up for my past, that I'm not the man she married, that I'm never going to be a good enough father, or that I'll never be the partner she needs and that it's all existing because we have kids together.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Yep, I had this. Maybe talk to her and ask her if she wants to separate or not. If not, then work on it. Try be more attentive . That's generally the biggest problem, bigger than being messy, bigger than being unemployed, bigger than being ugly, etc. If she wants to separate then just rip the bandaid off.
#54
That I’m sexually on par skill wise with her previous partners. I wanna be my best for her.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
She's a narcissist. Leave her. You NEVER compare your current partner to your past partner/s in any manner or form. Not even on cooking skills, financial skills, nothing. The past person is never mentioned except as to say why they were horrible and why you are so lucky to be with newperson.
#55
I am a large dude.. kind of a bulky muscle if that makes sense? Anyway, I am also over quiet and have a bad case of RBF.. so.. yeah. I tend to passively intimidate/scare people. I'm insecure about who does and doesn't trust me because of this.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Try to be more friendly and kind and speak up more. People will see your true character through that, rather than judge your appearance.
Kar Red Roses 2 years ago
Advice from a girl? You could try styling yourself “friendlier” with cheerful colors to offset your ripped bulldog physique and RBF. Unless you’re home on the couch or at the gym, dress. Dress like it’s your last day on earth. If there’s something hanging in your wardrobe that you wouldn’t be happy wearing forever — get rid of it. Also, learn to dance. Don’t have to go crazy… just master a few steps. Trust me on this dancing is a big one!
#56
Other men making her uncormotable by flirting with her on a girls night out, or even worse, her liking it. Just the fact that I only can know if she tells me, or somebody that I know sees it, makes me insecure.
#57
I have been dealing with not being “enough” since my first relationship. Being cheated on can, for some people cause deep scars. In past relationships this has affected my self confidence, created body issues, and jeopardized my health. It taught me to not have a voice and to prioritize my partner above myself. (Edit: expanding for context) Im not sure if this is because I am an Asian male, but when I was in the middle of my 20’s K-pop stars and Kdramas were increasing incredibly popular. As much of body image issues that caused women, the same was also true for the guys around me and myself. For some reason asian culture likes to caricaturize non-handsome pretty boys as either frumpy lonely men, antisocial uncharming “nerds”, or shady scruffy blue collar guys who won’t be able to provide for you and your kids well. Especially in media where you see “success” as being with someone beautiful like in a fairytale and a growing real life trend of people who are single or “fail to find a partner before 30”. It doesn’t help that family members will always criticize features about you either. My relatives kept encouraging my younger brother to get a nose surgery and eyelid surgery in Seoul because “being a guy with a fun personality is not enough just like a restaurant might have fun food but if the outside looks _condemned_ no one will go inside.” Every day I am so thankful for my wife and the mother of my children that I can now live healthier. Those feelings come and go but she taught me ways to properly deal with those waves.
#58
I just got out of an almost 4 year on and off again relationship with a woman I still love. At first, she came after me hard. She made all the moves and I went along with it because it’s hot when a woman knows what she wants. I slowly fell head over heals for her. We would get into small arguments and I would double down on my feelings with her. These arguments eventually turned into her regularly breaking up with me. She would never leave me alone. I came back so many times, only for her to toss me to the curb time and time again. I probably deserved it but it got to the point where she could do anything to me and I would always leave the door open to her. I would’ve died for her, by her hand. The door is still open for her but I know she has never really loved me the way I love her. At this point, I don’t think anyone will ever love me the way I can love someone else. This has left me so scared I am not sure I will recover. I am here now so I guess that’s a good thing.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
No this is pathological. Leave her. Spend two years hiatus. Find someone else. Never contact her again. Block her on all platforms.
#59
My hair. I have that disease Jada Smith has. When I grow it, it's curly and people have said a few times 'You have clown hair', or 'You look like Krusty the Clown'. Next time someone makes fun of me, I'm going to get my wife to slap them. I don't care if I can't go to the Oscars for 10 years, my pain needs to be avenged!!
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
I have exactly the same problem. You might be interested to know that every woman I've spoken to has been more interested in personality than whether you have hair. One directly referred me to The Rock and to Bruce Willis, both of whom are bald and considered very attractive by women. The newsreader hair thing is a 1980s fashion.
setsuriseikou 2 years ago
I concur! My BF is balding and super handsome and I love him to bits!
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#61
That I'm just a stable long term option because I can financially provide. That unless I work hard, can fix the house up, cook/clean, and make her cum often, that I'll stop getting attention or affection. Basically that my partner's love / passion for me is gone & unless I remain useful, I will be either left or worse neglected
Alexigirl1 2 years ago
It's better to be alone than feel lonely in a relationship. You deserve more
#62
Guilt I think often about how I have wronged people I have been in relationships and if I am still practising those negative traits. I feel like I constantly have to take responsibility for my wrong doing even though I am not with those people in my life really anymore. I carry it around with me every day and no matter how hard I try to explain it, everybody just says "it's not your fault, and it's not your responsibility anymore." But it doesn't change how I feel and I don't think it ever will. For context - I was in a relationship with an amazing girl, who I still have love for to an extent. It was not a very healthy relationship as we would go from amazing times and experiences to bad times when I would refuse to deal with conflict or acknowlegde her emotions and it eventually crumble after 8 years with her developing a condition with similar symptoms to Lyme disease speeding up the collapse. Fast forward to my next relationship a few years after that, I was a lot better at the short comings I had previously. But the problem was my hang up of guilt with my ex and the fact I held on to that translated into an "I still lover her" opinion (which is true to an extent but I have no desire to be with her) which caused even more problems which were new to me and I struggled to deal with as I thought guilty again for trying to have a relationship. So now with two failed relationships, I feel guilty about both failing and my short-comings for both. I still try and take care of them both when I can at the detriment of my own sanity and well-being some times. I am terrified to date again as a 34M.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
1. Give yourself two years hiatus. 2. Stop contacting the other past partners. Just ghost them. 3. Forgive yourself, that you have recognised past problems/bad behavours means you are a better person now and have learnt.
#63
That they dont love me and instead only love what I can do for them. If something happens and I can longer do that thing what reason do I have to believe they'll stay with me?
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
She will leave you if (a) you are absent (check-out of the relationship psychologically, or do not meaningfully engage psychologically and verbally when you are around her) (b) you are abusive (c) you both do not have a job and you blame her for it (d) you do not pull your weight in other ways e.g. leave messes around the place (e) you cheat (f) you become or are a druggie or alkie. I think those are the main issues that women leave men over.
#64
The fact I don’t have my drivers license. I have two university degrees, am a teacher, but can’t drive. Feel like a loser but driving terrifies me lol
#66
That I'm not good enough and she's settling for me while fantasizing about some toxic "bad boy" that she truly desires, or she meets that toxic bad boy at a bar/club but still settles for me because I "take care of her" emotionally. All the while she thinks about him when we have sex. Basically the entire show of "Sex/Life" is my insecurity.
#67
I can accept breakups or divorces, but I wouldn't want to be remembered as a bad boyfriend or a terrible husband by the way I treated them in the relationship.
N Miller 2 years ago
This might sound obvious, but don't treat them badly in the relationship then. You can do absolutely nothing about them lying about you, but if you can honestly say you treated them well, the best you could, and that they fell out of love with you (for whatever reason), the truth will make itself known.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
Also avoid dating anyone who speaks badly about their exes, because that habit is unlikely to change
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#68
I don't know what to do to help my SO about their emotionally abusive mother. Wherever it comes up I get really anxious and shut down even when I'm trying so hard just to be supportive and actively listen. It sucks knowing that this is one thing they really need from me and I can't be there for them the way they need.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Ask her do you want empathy from me or do you want to discuss solutions? I suspect she just wants empathy and is a big girl and can work on her own solutions.
#69
That I'm short. 5'6". I'm not as chubby as I used to be but her previous bf (we talk and have talked openly about prev relationships since we met) were tall. It's been a 15yr relationship and 11yr marriage and she's always made me feel tall but it's still there. It's possible it's irrational and I need to get over myself.
Firstname Lastname 2 years ago
Short guys are great. I can make eye contact without craning my neck back. And it's a heck of a lot easier when they want to be the little spoon.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
yes. Women seem to be more interested in personality than looks. So maybe she traded up. Maybe the last guy was a narcissistic jerk.
#70
I feel like the sex always has to be on point because we’ve been conditioned to believe once that goes it all goes.
Ches Yamada 2 years ago (edited)
Pssst, it's not true - if you love and respect each other you can work things out even if it fizzles or there are issues.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Yes and no. You can still have a good friendship and run a good family. If however sex is important to you then you should move along.
#71
Losing her. Especially because of distance and for not being able to see each other. I'm in a long distance relationship and I couldn't even describe the importance she has to me. I really don't wanna lose her, because she always gives me the feeling that I found a person that is perfect for me, and that my life would no longer have a meaning if she leaves.
#72
What if I'm not enough and she finds a man who can do better for her
#73
One of my Ex-Girlfriends once told me I am too clingy. Since then I am always afraid I annoy my partner😅
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
She may have had an avoidant attachment style, which is her problem, not yours.
#74
I'm not a bf/husband yet but I severely lack self confidence, am insecure of my looks and my pp size (5 Inches) and just scared asf to be cheated on or getting dumped and I'm also afraid of not being able to understand my partner and not being able to keep her happy in general.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if a woman chooses to be with you, then that is waht counts. I've found that women are not that interested in how a man looks but more what his qualities are like other than that.
#75
My partner randomly deciding they’ve had enough of my quirks and unexpectedly leaving
Ann T 2 years ago
Nope. Those quirks come out much later, after sine initial investment. This is a valid fear.
Load More Replies... #76
Her suddenly realizing that I am not what she wants and that she wants to be “free” to experience her younger years. I’ve had enough experience to know this is what I want but I’m the only person she’s every been with…
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
That's called midlife crisis and it happens to like 50% of couples which causes divorce. Is there any reason why you think she is thinking like that ? OR is it YOU that thinks like that, and you're just projecting onto her?
#77
I'm not in a relationship right now, but one of my biggest fears is meeting someone who I genuinely like, committing to a long term relationship with them, and then years (or decades) into our relationship/marriage, one day things just change. Like what if she leaves me, or has an affair, or pulls a jada pinkett smith and asks for an open relationship. All of those are things that would end with me being absolutely crushed, the relationship would definitely be over, and also potentially are huge financial risks, if I had to pay alimony for example.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Welcome to relationships 101. You have to choose the risk/reward combination and take it or leave it. Personally, I think it's better to have loved and lost it than never loved at all. So, let chance take you wherever.
#78
I have a couple of noticeable birth defects (even tho they've been repaired, you can still tell something's not quite perfect) so that's a big one, also the fact that I'm a bit short and skinny. Also being not white but surrounded by white people most of the time, I always worry about negative stereotypes.
#79
I'm not currently in a relationship and genuinely terrified to get in one because of my mental instability, but I also really want to be in one because, well, relationships are good.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
Sort out your issues first and seek therapy, it's not fair to subject someone else to instability.
#80
That she sent you to test me
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
You meaning another woman? Then you failed the test if you even considered this a possibility.
#81
Heh, sigh. Here goes. I have ADHD and some other stuff going on. I am, seemingly, incapable of maintaining stable employment, as a result I struggle massively with frustration, self loathing, you get the idea. I didn't have kids, and it was probably best for them that I didn't make them exist. I'd be a moody, unreliable let down to them. Doctors, meds, therapy, just didn't make enough of a difference, I just kept slip sliding on down further into my depression and such. I left my wife, she's got a better life now, or the chance for it. What comes next for me? Who knows. Don't do the reach out, wanna talk about it, or supportive replies. This is a cautionary tale of not supporting your kiddos while raising them, and ignoring mental health/developmental issues. I'd rather you focus on that, so that more people like me, don't end up as I did.
#83
My height is my biggest insecurity, I have been under 5'5 since I graduated high school and it annoys me because women like tall guys
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if a woman chooses to be with you, then that is waht counts. I've found that women are not that interested in how a man looks but more what his qualities are like other than that. I have noticed on social media that american women like tall guys with hair. Maybe move to another country ;-) because in my country what counts is whether you're a good conversationalist.
#84
That she’s going to leave me. She can do so much better than me, and it seems like for every step forward I take in becoming more for her and the kids, I stumble and fall back three. I don’t deserve her, and I think she’s starting to see it.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
You need therapy for your low self-esteem and you need to work on yourself to become the best version of yourself.
#85
How can someone so beautiful marry such an ugly man? There are so many other guys out there that look so much better than me. I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I’ll never understand
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
if SHE chooses to be with you, then that is waht counts. I've found that women are not that interested in how a man looks but more what his qualities are like other than that.
#86
Not fixing things/re-doing things around the house..I’m not exactly the handy-fix it type of guy
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
So then go watch some youtube videos on how to do this? It's actually way easier than relationships.
#88
That I can't provide.
LiLi 2 years ago
And I’m guessing she’s unable to do any work herself? Toxic male ego mindset in so many of these posts.
Luna Crow 2 years ago
I'm getting tired of seeing this one too, tells me that the toxic societal trait of putting pressure on men to be The Provider is still going strong
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#90
That she’ll fall for someone else, I’m in the USA and she’s in Australia
#92
Well, one of my ex's in high school dumped me because I didn't text her for like a week, which was more due to me dealing with this essay that I had to write for English or whatever the f**k. Never got a word in to try and explain s**t nor did I get time to like...explain it to her in person. she just told me that "I didn't make her happy" and then like...the next year she just starts texting me out of the blue over Christmas break and this goes on for like a couple of months, and then she just ghosts me out of the blue. I find out from her friend that she apparently called me a "Stalker" or some s**t and that she had been dating a friend of mine...so... I'm pretty sure she's probably the cause of whatever like...trust issues I have now. Probably the reason why I smoke too, come to think of it.
#93
Well, for me, it’s a really big thing. We’ve had a DB for a long time. I’ve hated every second of it. Then, 12 years ago, I got prostate cancer. After being treated with T compressing drugs that made me feel fkn crazy, I had about 50 radiation treatments. My erection totally disappeared and shrank by 50%. Its totally dead. Even so, I still get very horny, but can’t do anything about it. I not only feel I’m no longer a man, but a freak that cannot provide sexual release for himself nor anyone else. My spouse is in the “don’t touch me” stage of a DB and I feel less than human and unlovable.
censorshipsucks 2 years ago (edited)
For other readers, DB = dead bedroom. The OP's relationship sounds like it is long dead. But if he wants to resurrect the relationship, then what he could try do is oral or toys. At least get her off. I feel this one because I have had similar problems and they are really embarrassing.
Kar Red Roses 2 years ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this and hope for relations to improve for you both. After a prostatectomy, many guys can function sexually and still climax albeit the orgasms change. Removing the prostate eliminates the ability to ejaculate during sex. (I’d try experimenting with low doses of X honestly, if you’re adventurous & the wife was up for it) arousal is 90-something percent mental
#94
That she will feel trapped by being in a relationship with me, considering my feelings or having to plan stuff will be too tiring. It'll be easier for her to be single and not deal with me when I have emotionally weak moments.
#95
That no matter how hard I try to be the best possible partner… i could still end up murdered if she happened to be a serial killer. (I’ve seen too many documentaries)
censorshipsucks 2 years ago
wow. See a therapist. Sounds to me like YOU have violent tendencies.
Psychopathic Mermaid 2 years ago
sounds more like extreme paranoia to me (i have similar issues sometimes) but yeah professional help is ideal
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What do you think ?
Csaba Hegedűs 2 years ago
BP taking a break from bashing men in the posts feels like a breath of fresh air for a change.
Mike Crow 2 years ago
For many many years my depression has told me that my family would be better off if I wasn’t here. That it is the noble and correct course to end it all. (Note: I am getting help but the thought does remain)
Lauren Caswell 2 years ago
The world only has one you in it. And that means you are irreplaceable
Load More Replies... 
Mark Fuller 2 years ago
I love this, I love this, I love this!! Men are just as emotional and insecure as women. We're not perfect; we're not uber confident; shock horror - we do have self esteem, feelings and anxieties, all of which are vulnerable as those of women. This really shouldn't be a revelation but for some parties it clearly is. Men are also PEOPLE.
God Chasers Something pursued 2 years ago
Sometimes we need some encouragement hope the list reminds everyone that
Csaba Hegedűs 2 years ago
BP taking a break from bashing men in the posts feels like a breath of fresh air for a change.
Mike Crow 2 years ago
For many many years my depression has told me that my family would be better off if I wasn’t here. That it is the noble and correct course to end it all. (Note: I am getting help but the thought does remain)
Lauren Caswell 2 years ago
The world only has one you in it. And that means you are irreplaceable
Load More Replies... Mark Fuller 2 years ago
I love this, I love this, I love this!! Men are just as emotional and insecure as women. We're not perfect; we're not uber confident; shock horror - we do have self esteem, feelings and anxieties, all of which are vulnerable as those of women. This really shouldn't be a revelation but for some parties it clearly is. Men are also PEOPLE.
God Chasers Something pursued 2 years ago
Sometimes we need some encouragement hope the list reminds everyone that
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