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Men In This Online Community Shared 30 Times They Protected Women By Pretending To Be Friends With Them
Women never feel completely safe in public or even in their own home. They are always aware about the people surrounding them and they immediately can sense when someone wishes them harm, but also who they can go to if they need help.
Reddit user wizardoflaw presented a hypothetical situation to the users of the subreddit Ask Men, “A girl approaches you and says, ‘pretend we’re friends. I’m being followed.’ What would you do?” It was nice to see that most of them said that they would play along.
While most of the answers were hypothetical as the question, there were men who shared stories that happened to them in real life of women coming up to them and either explaining that they are followed or just straight up pretending to know them. Men in the subreddit immediately gathered what was going on and helped the girls or women reach their destinations safely and you can read through those stories in this list.
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#1
Aw man. I remember being at a bar and telling this guy I had a boyfriend and still getting harassed, dude was all up in my personal space, like, right up in it, and some big Viking looking dude put his arm around me, looks the dude in the eye and goes "I'm the boyfriend"
I was left alone for the rest of the night haha.
I dont know who you are big Viking dude because you disappeared into the night, but I hope you're living your best life.
Hedgeh og 3 years ago
It's horrible that some men will only back off if they believe the woman is "owned" by another man. They respect another man's "property" but not the woman herself. Any man who's ever felt or acted that way - DO BETTER. Kudos to this man for stepping up though; he did a good thing 💛💙
phil blanque 3 years ago
As a man, I am appalled by this post...deeply disturbed by the behavior of these male homo sapiens. Notice, I do not refer to them as "men", because they are not. To be honest, they make me laugh, because they are not going to reproduce...I hope...if the real men among us maintain this vigilance. It is our duty to the potential victims, our duty to our species. They are cowards...omega males...dullards. Yeah....watch out for real men, respectful of the rights of women.
Debrina Blackmoon 3 years ago (edited)
Followed and flashed by an unknown perv many yrs ago. Walked to the fire station where a male former hs classmate let me use the phone to report the monster. When I got to my destination I called said helper to report I made it safely, it as I promised. He was glad.
Kiss Army 3 years ago
Something similar happened to me. I had a guy harassing me in a bar that would not leave me alone. Another guy (twice the size of harasser) walked up put his arm around me and asked the harasser "She's great isn't she?" The harasser was like "Oh, yeah..." he went on and on. Then my savior said "That's why I married her!" Harasser could not get out of there fast enough.
Violence, stalking and harassment are actions that don’t belong to a specific gender, but statistics show that women experience violence and unwanted attention more than men.
According to the Stalking Prevention, Awareness And Resource Center, “nearly 1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men have experienced stalking victimization at some point in their lifetime.” And the data of National Coalition Against Domestic Violence shows that “1 in 4 women and 1 in 9 men experience severe intimate partner physical violence,” “1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner” and “1 in 7 women and 1 in 25 men have been injured by an intimate partner.”
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#2
This happened to me about three years ago. I was in Home Depot and a young woman (about half my age) walked up to me, with a guy right on her shoulder babbling about something, and she said "Uncle Steve! I didn't think I'd see you until Mom's birthday party!" I looked at her a little confused, but she made a "help me!" face, and so I said "Well, you're in town already! This is a fun surprise! You wanna shop together? We can talk a little while we get our stuff." She gave the kind of look I expect Superman gets when he plucks somebody from a burning building.
Creepy guy was still there, so I made my voice a little gruff and said "Do you need something?" He said no and went away. We shopped and got our stuff, checked out, I walked her to her car and watched while she drove away.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Women who haven’t even read this are mentally thanking you for being such a wonderful ally!
Beautifullybroken 3 years ago (edited)
Something similar happened to me in highschool well kind of except he dislocated my jaw and school did nothing about it as it was end of the day... walked to my bus with him following me after already hitting me and continued to call me names and threatening me... walked on the bus and the old man Floyd who had served with my grandpa in the navy but I didnt know him beyond that asked what happened I told him and said he was coming up behind me to try to get on the bus (didnt live in my area at all) Floyd at 75yrs old still in awesome shape let him walk on... then grabbed him screaming u hit my granddaughter u son of a B and quite literally threw him off the bus onto the sidewalk. Closed the door and headed to my neighborhood where he pulled the bus into my driveway and around the circle in the backyard walked me to the door and made me call my neighbor to come over til my mom got there to take me to the hospital and talk to police... I love and miss you Floyd best bus driver sub grandpa ever
Lori T Wisconsin 3 years ago
A real gentleman. If I were her I'd have also notified store management so the moron would get tossed.
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
Happened to me with young girls in a huge mall. They began to harrass me in a shop and as I was leaving it, I notified the shop's security agent and he checked their bags, which gave me time to go. They wouldn't stop here. As I was checking my surroundings, I saw them following me, waiting for an occasion. I went straight to the helpdesk and asked for security to come. The man already knew the girls for similar facts and kicked them out.
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Karen Violette Cubbison 3 years ago
Yeah that's just creepy. Thank goodness the majority can be superheroes.
#3
Back when I was 19 I was at a work Xmas party and noticed a girl I was good friends with getting harassed by a much older guy who was a manager. Not only was he a creep but I'd met his wife and child. I stepped in and asked her to dance and we spent the evening together. Didn't deter him he kept getting in her face and trying to shoulder me aside. We decided to leave together and called a taxi and when it arrived he tried to leave with us. I managed to push him out and we got away safely.
Two kids and 4 grandchildren later we have been married for 39 blissful years.
I don't like my name 3 years ago
And women are continuously being harassed like this still!! 🤬
Sarah Kathrin Matsoukis 3 years ago
Jesus, respect for staying to civil. I'd have punched him.
Women’s Aid, a national charity in the UK working to end domestic abuse against women and children made a YouTube video called “All Men.” It showed the numbers of women getting abused, of the numbers of them being killed and how often police get calls reporting domestic violence. They also suggested a solution. It is for all men to show a good example, reflect their behavior and just do better. You can find it here.
#4
This happened to me in Vegas…it was wild. Two girls walked up to me and a friend of mine at a bar with a creepy older guy hovering behind them. They started talking to us as if our parties were together. I was so confused but caught on, and awkwardly asked if they wanted to go get another round at the bar before realizing their drinks were full. I joking grabbed one of their cocktails and downed it to give us an excuse to go - it was one of the last things I remember from that night. The guy had roofied her drink.
I’m not a small dude (easily had the girl by 70lbs) and within 30 mins (I’m told) s**t went sideways for me. Before I lost track of everything, I distinctly remember him watching us like he was waiting for something. To this day I’m grateful I picked her drink.
Ellis Tamura 3 years ago
Good to know there are people willing to help people who are being sexually harassed.
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Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Sorry man that you got roofied thank you for being there for them ladies
Anna Tribe 3 years ago
I got roofied once by someone I considered a friend. Roofied me then raped me. I remember parts of it but not all and all the police said was come back when you remember exactly what happened. More than 2 years later I still have only a few memories about that night
Maiun 3 years ago
So sorry that happened to you, first the assault the the police being f*cking useless. I hope there have been other consequences for him and you are getting support to deal with your trauma.
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Madzdad the Bard 3 years ago
Similar one where my friends and I saw a guy pour something in a girls drink. We let her know, had the bartender call the cops then my buddies made HIM drink the cocktail. Wonder how the rest of his night went?
Jasam Nitko 3 years ago
We had a "drink robber", a guy with no money that would down other people's drinks when he thought no one was looking. He emptied my GF's drink when she wasn't looking. (We had been telling her to watch her drinks, but she was drunk and not thinking.) I found him flat on the floor outside the restaurant shortly after. To his day I think her drink was roofied. He was so out of it that the staff called the cops.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Sorry but you helped stop a potential rape,kidnapping, murder. Definitely a hero
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I know someone who got roofied once. Luckily she was with friends who took care of her, but she described how goddamn scary it was.
#5
I'm 6' 3 ~250lb and I cannot count on both hands how many times a scared woman has joined my brothers and I or my friends and I, asking if we can pretend to know her because of some guy not taking no for an answer. We've walked people to cars, gotten people cabs, waited with them until they felt safer. I am always happy to help them, because I hope someone will do the same for my female friends, but it's sad that the need is there.
Priscilla Reshell 3 years ago
I wish women didn't need to ask another guy for help I just wish I could feel safe on my own
Deanna Crichley 3 years ago
My husband was 6'5". Also quite tattooed and pierced. Men were always intimidated by his physical appearance. But if he sat on a bench outside a store I went into, when I came out some sweet little lady would be talking his ear off. If I couldn't find him in the grocery store, he'd be off somewhere getting something off of a high shelf for someone. Wow. Damn. I didn't think I would miss him so much at this moment.
#6
Happened to me. Or close to it. She wasn't being followed, but a creepy person was trying to intoxicate her in a packed bar. I noticed, approachd her and said "oh heey!! Long time no see, how are you doing?" (I've never seen her before)
She immediately reacted and started chatting with me. After a while the person tried to pull her back saying "hey, she's with me" and I was like "oh not right now dude, we haven't seen each other for a long time".
We ended up dating.
Ellis Tamura 3 years ago
Good for him! He did the right thing AND found someone he likes.
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Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Awww that so sweet. Thank you for caring enough for stoping that man.
robjl 316 3 years ago
At one point I spent way too much time at bars. More often than not my buddy and I would end up with at least one girl wanting to hang close to us/use us as a deterrent from some creep or even have us drive them home. Thankfully only ever had to help one girl that was roofied. The amount of gas I spent or vomit I had to clean was well worth it and we be so proud hi fiving and smiling with sh*t eating grins the whole way home. Our girlfriends would get so p*ssed that we would always be out so late until one year for my birthday it happened and my girlfriend and buddy were out til 430 essentially playing taxi for a handful of girls. No more grief after that!
Crazy Dubagay 3 years ago
I love how the gender of the harasser isn't specified. It ain't just us males, yo
SoozeeQ 3 years ago (edited)
Guys generally don't call women "dude", but you are right, sexual harassment can go both ways. (Have you seen the film, "Disclosure" with Demi Moore and Michael Douglas? I've read the book and it's scary af).
Load More Replies...Bored Panda talked with Isabelle Younane, head of policy, campaigns and public affairs at Women’s Aid and she expressed that everyone can do their bit to change these statistics but we should focus less on women safety tips and more on the reasons men are so violent, “Everyone can play a vital part in ending violence against women and girls and it is hopeful to see men bring about change. Time and again, well-meaning responses focus on what women can do to remain safe - without adequate attention being placed on why men continue to abuse and kill women at epidemic levels.”
#7
This happened to me once. I was at Preston station and a girl approached me and said can we pretend to be friends and chat as there's a creepy guy that keeps following me around the station.
I probably shouldn't have said "how do you know I'm not a creepy guy too?". But it did make her laugh. We chatted, and when the train got arrived we sat together. When we got to Lancaster she met a friend, said thanks, and we went our separate ways. And thankfully no problems with creepy guy.
God it must be s**t being female at times.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
I'm old now, but vividly remember being hassled many times when I was young. The late 60s and early 70s were no easier (if not worse in some ways) than today. I don't think a lot of men have changed much in the last 50 years, sadly.
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Bobby 3 years ago
My closest experience to this is if I join a friend of mine at his favorite bar. It's a gay bar and I'm straight, but I've had guys that wouldn't take I'm not interested as an answer. "If you're here you must want it/be curious" etc. I would get aggressive to get them to back off, but a lot of women I know don't have this option. I can only imagine how much worse it is
Lena Flising 3 years ago
One of the best things with getting older; you suddenly become invisible! No catcalling, no creepy guys. It's blissful.
Awsomemom52 3 years ago
I (f,53) was sitting on the train when a girl (maybe 16 or 17) got on... "followed" by 2 men (late 20s at least). The two talked to the girl and made ambiguous comments about what they would like to do with her. I went over to her and said: Nina, that's a nice coincidence. She looked confused for a moment, but said: Oh, hello. I said: Why don't you sit with me, so we can talk! I took her arm and pulled her with me. She came along without comment and the two guys went to the back of the train. The girl actually burst into tears and told me the guys harassed her on the platform for almost 30 minutes and ignored the fact that she didn't even answer.
#8
Ooo… story time. Years ago I was at my favorite bar, ordering a drink and I see this guy kinda hanging on/around this girl. She just looked really uncomfortable. I kinda assessed the body language for some minutes longer trying to figure out if they were familiar like is this a “my boyfriend is drunk and I’m embarrassed” or a “this is a rando and I cannot politely excuse myself” situation. Figured out it was the latter. Drank my shot. Pretended to stumble upon her presence. Faked a big huge smile and said “Omg, I haven’t seen you in forever” and put my arms out for a hug. She looked hella confused (how many of us have made some bar friends that we couldn’t pick out a line up lol) but went in for the hug. At which point I whispered in her ear “you don’t know me but you look really uncomfortable are you okay”. I felt her body relax as she began to thank me profusely. Just told her to pretend we know each other and we proceeded to converse until the creep meandered away.
Moral of the story, they don’t always come up to you. Please practice situational awareness, it could really help someone.
Ben Moss 3 years ago (edited)
As a guy I really wish I knew more about how to de-escalate situations where a guy is harrassing a gal. I’ve only ever gotten my butt kicked trying to stand up for girls getting picked on. There should be a class where we learn how to make a meaningful difference! And also how not to make ladies uncomfortable
Leslie Gully 3 years ago
My (37F) best advice is, don't engage the aggressor. Just engage the victim. Example: if you see someone being creeped on while on a train/in a bar/etc, walk up and pretend you know her. "Hey! I haven't seen you in forever! How are you!?" Spare a small glance at the aggressor, with something like, "hey, can you let my friend out? We have a lot of catching up to do!" Once you have her safely away, you can fill her in and ask how she wants help - a walk to her car, wait with her for an Uber, help her fiend a friend, whatever. Engaging the aggressor will get your ass kicked. Removing her from the situation is safest for you both.
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Dark-Infinity 3 years ago
As a woman, it's always reassuring to know there are still some good men out there. This guy is one of them
Karen Violette Cubbison 3 years ago
You quite possibly saved her life. Smart moves. Great message.
Persephone 3 years ago
Been there and lived it and it's haunted me to this day... this was a little less than 18 years ago; at a club for a techno Halloween Party (I was underage and shouldn't have been there, but knew everyone),.. a friend runs up to me saying "omg help her!" -A woman about my age was pinned against a pillar by a guy in an astronaut costume who is clearly groping her; tears streaming down her face. I asked her if she needed help and she tearfully nodded at me... I began yelling for security and the officer closing the club, and the guy got nasty with me saying "this is my girlfriend, she's drunk and does this s**t all the time!"... she looked like she had been drugged, which i 100% know now she had been from experience in healthcare.... My a*****e ex fiancee and his "famous" DJ friend dragged me out bc it "wasn't any of my business", and I was technically there illegally (they got me in)... so I tried to stop a rape, but my abusers were more concerned for themselves. F them.
Karen Violette Cubbison 3 years ago
I'm so sorry that happened and very glad to see that "ex" in front of "fiancée". Remind yourself also that you weren't the only one there to help and you DID yell for security.
Load More Replies... She thinks that this behavior must be called out even more and people shouldn’t allow for it to become normalized, “From everyday sexism and ‘laddish banter’ through to leering, groping, indecent exposure and stalking, these behaviours – if left unchallenged – reinforce women’s inequality and normalise the misogynistic and sexist attitudes that underpin all violence against women.”
#9
Been in a similar situation before, I was going home when I seen 2 teenage girls walking, behind them was 2 grown men on push bikes wolf whistling to them an cat calling! I asked the girls if they wanted me to walk with them until they got where they were going! Men disappeared and one of the girls parents then accused me of hanging around with teenagers until there daughter stepped up and said what was happening, her dad then wrapped his arms around me and said “what a man, thank you for being a great bloke”
Signe Manat Hansen 3 years ago
What the hell is a pushbike? Where did the parent suddenly come from? Why you always lying?
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Pushbike is another word for a bicycle. The rest I'm afraid I can't answer!
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Ɔ~ã~Ⓡ~ș~Ȭ~ɴ 3 years ago
"wolf whistling to them an cat calling"! these guys are totall weirdos!
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
I'm 41 but look younger and sometimes have kids and teenagers talk to me and I don't know if people think I look like a creep.
#10
Actually happened to me once. Girl approached my wife and me at a bar and asked if I could pretend to be her brother, some guy was creepin' her out. I was just like "Hey, there you are...didn't you see us sitting here?" Dude left.
#11
Only time this has ever happened to me was when I was 18 (37 now) down at Ozfest in Milton Keynes and a girl about my age (who looked like a proper rock chick who wouldn't be scared of anything) asked if she could walk with us after the day had ended along a few dark paths. (3 of us) we said hell yeah and walked her 20 mins along the road and she said thank you so much and went on her way. We all felt pretty good that she asked us ha.
I get some men get offended by the whole "not all men" thing. But to women it is potentially every man. So I just do what I can and my friends are all the same. Gotta look out for each other man.
Falcon 3 years ago
I like the "not all men" line here. It makes complete sense, because you never know which guy is dangerous and which isn't. Treat a random person with distrust and caution to stay safe.
Superninjatiger 3 years ago
Exactly! Had this argument with an old bf when I was scared to walk home alone at night or late in the evning and he said "not all men are going to try to kidnap, hurt or rape you", he finally understod my fear when I told him "I know the majority of men wont, but how tf am I supposed to know who will?"
Load More Replies... Ben Moss 3 years ago
It really is potentially any man, especially in countries like the US where the Justice system doesn’t do much for victims, and guys are kinda clueless as to whether or not they’re being creeps cuz we’re kinda encouraged to “fight for her” , “pursue her” , and ewww “don’t take no for an answer” I really think toxic masculinity is baked into our culture.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
It’s true that there aren’t many examples of straight men and woman being just friends in movies unless they’re partnered up with someone and they have a lot of friends as couples.
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
Women cannot afford to wait and find out if a guy is nice or not nice most of the time. Get it wrong and you can pay with your life. All women know every time they are out in public, every time they are walking alone on a street, every time they are out after dark, that they are a potential victim. We have to act accordingly.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
For most women true but nice guy would come up and try talking. Creeps follow or touch with out permission. Not OK for creeps. So if it happened and you are not a creep. Back off when someone asks.
Isabelle Younane thinks that there is a solution, “Only by tackling the root causes of women’s inequality can we create a world where every woman can live free from violence and abuse.”
What do you think the solution can be? Do you think it is possible to reach the goal of a safe world for women? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
#12
One time in a bar years back, a girl came up behind me and said urgently “pretend to be my boyfriend. Please.”
I see an angry guy shoving his way through the crowd towards us. I causally put my arm over her shoulder, and made eye contact with him. She was trembling violently.
He slowed a bit. I’m 6’4, 240. I just glared at him. We’re standing at the bar; he’s approaching from behind, she’s on my left staring straight ahead, with her back to him, I’m looking at him over my left shoulder.
I kinda growled “what?” at him as he stopped. He mumbled something I couldn’t hear over the music, and cleared off. After a minute, she stopped shaking, said thanks, and left. And that was it.
Vetus Vespertilio 3 years ago
I hope you know that somewhere, that young woman is still grateful you were there.
Agnes Jekyll 3 years ago
that's really frightening. She probably had to leave the venue immediately.
Amy Beckler 3 years ago
Eerm Is it just my prejudices flaming here or is this male vs male with female I distress situations. Geez! Aren't we beyond that crap
#13
Story time!
When I was about 19 years old I was at my favorite bar having a drink and waiting for a friend to show up. They had a warm smoking area you could drink in.
This dude who I know as a regular at this bar via my mom's friend (who says he raped her, had the bruises and everything) kept trying to force me to heavily drink. Then he tried to convince me to go to his house to do coke. This guy was like 50 and "just wanted to have a good time"
Another man was sitting across from me, and after creeps left to go get a drink other dude made sure to look right at me and say "no matter what happens, I won't leave you with him. Is someone coming for you?" Damn near cried into my beer and assured him someone was coming for me.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
I want all these heros to know that these women and girls will NEVER forget what you did for them - ever. It's terrifying to have a man hit on you and not leave you alone. It truly is. And having someone like you, who makes sure she is safe, means the world, and even if she forgets your face, she will NEVER forget how you made her feel safe. Again - THANK YOU!
Karen Violette Cubbison 3 years ago
These are the stories we need to hear! Good guys doing good things!
#14
Had something similar to this happen to me a while back. I was working at a bottle shop and two girls came in that were being followed by a guy. They said that he had been had been following them and acting inappropriatly towards them for the last half an hour and asked if they could talk with me for a while until he left.
After about a minute the guy comes in and is walking around kinda hiding behind racks and staring at them. This went on for a few minutes, so I went up to him and asked why he had been following my friends, he came up with some bulls**t about how he wasn't following them and he was just there to buy a beer. I told him that there weren't any beers in the wine racks he had been walking around and to purchase something and leave. Let the girls know they could stay for as long as they needed. About ten mins later they were thinking about leaving so I went out to sus whether the guy was still skulking about. Found him standing around the corner in our side carpark waiting in the dark. Ended up telling my boss I needed to clock out for half an hour and drove them home. As soon as he saw them get into a car he walked off.
There are a lot of creepy and predatory a**holes out there, I'd like to think that most guys would do the same given the situation.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago (edited)
That's just the problem. There are a LOT of creepy predatory a**holes out there, so we're still taking a huge risk walking up to a strange guy for help. But there's not a lot of choice, and I thank all you wonderful guys who help a gal out who's in trouble.
Susann Campbell 3 years ago
In most of these stories, why didn't they call the police on an non emergency line or emergency line and give a description of the guy. I did in a park and used my cell phone video and called 911, He made a little boy get in his car with a pointed stick that I saw him sharpen on the cement wall. And drove away, I followed him with my phone and that's when she said, "We have him and thank you". Our little paper in the neighborhood said that a pedophile was appended in OV. Cool huh?
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Almost all women think the creeps out number of good guys. But creepy guys love bars. Always be aware of alleys or dark streets. Parks can be really bad too.
#15
Back in the '90s, I pulled up to the bank ATM on a Saturday. There was a guy at the ATM, and another lady in her car - I was third in line, so I just sat in my truck to wait.
The lady got out and walked up to the ATM booth about the time the guy was finishing up, and I heard her ask him if he would mind waiting there until she got done. It took me a few minutes to realize that it was me, unshaved, wearing my old field jacket, sitting in a 20 year-old project truck with different color cab and bed, that she was nervous about.
But the guy stayed there in his car until she got back into hers, so... you know... that dude was a good guy.
Rijkærd 3 years ago
Yap...am a guy and would have also asked the guy to hang around too...that description doesn't do you any favors
LJ Robinson 3 years ago
That a*****e statement doesn't do you any favors either. He was aware he was making her nervous, and he praised the guy that stayed by the woman's side. He's a man that can read a situation accurately. I respect people like that.
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Stannous Flouride 3 years ago
Smart men realize that they shouldn't take a woman's reaction to them personally. She was reacting to the guy's surface appearance and taking precautions. Kudos to him for not posting that tired, old "not all men" cr@p.
Vicky De Raedemaeker 3 years ago
The thing is you never know who the creep is ;the man in a nice suit ore the biker guy.....the don't have an a*****e sign around their nek
Kim Morrison 3 years ago
Hey, man, we're not here to judge. You do you, but if we have sus feelings, we just do.
ThatBoredDolphin 3 years ago
Well… I’m not soo sure if I would be scared, just watch my back, which I do in any case
#16
Oddly enough, I had this happen once.
There's a club where me and a couple buddys were regulars. I'm up from my table and at the bar getting a fresh drink, when this tiny little woman comes up smiles, puts a hand on my chest. "Oh HI! Haven't seen you in forever!" I'm confused, because I'm fairly certain I don't know her.
She then leans in real close. "I'm really sorry to bug you. I've seen you and your friends here all the time. There's this creepy guy that's been hitting on me and following me all around the club all night. Can you walk me to my car?"
So I take her by the hand, like she's there with me, swing back by my table, quick explain to my guys and walk her to her car. Creepy dude came out like 10 yards or so behind us. Funny thing is, she parked like a block away from the club - right in front of my flat. "You ever feel unsafe in this neighborhood, knock on that door. Either me or my roommates will help you out." She thanked me, gave me a hug and drove off. I go back to the club. Dude sees me turning around and walking back in and just looks down and tries to look like he's got a reason to be there. and mumbles a "what's up" or something as I walk past. I growl a "f**k off" and go back to the club.
This was back in the 90's - pre-Cellphone/Smartphone days. The Goth/Industrial crowd kind of policed it's own and looked after each other. Or at least it did in my city.
Jenny Gordon 3 years ago
Goth clubs have always protected their own. Been clubbing since the mid 90's, it was the same then and it's the same now.
HK Hoel 3 years ago
People are always shocked when I say alternative folks (punk, goth, hippies, etc) have integrity!!! Obviously not all, there are a lot of nasty people in all scenes, but the ones that do will literally do anything for another human and have such a strong and impressive honor code and are so selfless.
Dark-Infinity 3 years ago
These stories are starting to make me emotional. It's really good to know that there are still guys out there who'd do these things for woman
Karen Violette Cubbison 3 years ago
Not only in the present moment but offers for future help as well. Nice job!
#17
woman here; I've done this before in the past. Was at a club, lost my friends and this creepy dude kept following/pestering me. It was so crowded I couldn't get to the security guy at the back so I turned to another guy and said "there's a creepy guy following me, can you pls help and pretend that we're friends?" and without missing a beat, he said "don't worry", then he turned his back to creepy guy who was looking at me, blocked my body with his and stood there. When creepy guy got closer and tried to talk to me again, he kept blocking me until creepy guy said "excuse me" and tried to pass the guy; guy turned around and said "what do you want with my girlfriend?" and creepy guy said sorry and left.
LynzCatastrophe 3 years ago
It's frustrating how a man won't accept the word NO yet will respect another man and back off his "property"
LesAnimaux 3 years ago
So if the girl says she's not interested, creepy guy will not give up, BUT if another man steps in and says 'she's mine', creepy guy apologizes to HIM. This does not solve the problem in the long run.
Liv 3 years ago
That's true. I'm still very glad he helped her though. Tbh it occurred me: what if what deters creeps is something more primal than ownership? Plain old physical strength/stopping power. Maybe they just give up because they'd have to go through the "boyfriend", and that's too much trouble and possibly risky for their continued body integrity.
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Missy VanWinkle 3 years ago
It's just infuriating that women need to be seen as being "taken" before creeps will back the f#<k off.
Lena Flising 3 years ago
It's too bad that some creeps don't respect a No from a girl, only respect either a "I have a boyfriend" or an actual man saying "I'm her boyfriend" (whether it's true or not). They only back off when the think a girl is "taken", the girl has no say in the matter to them.
Wednesday 3 years ago
Clue to the clue less - you are NOT hunting. You are doing a dance for the woman. If she responds positively, and that's a big if, you have to keep dancing until she accepts/consents. And even then, even after an initial consent, you must keep getting consent. Anything less is just manipulative, controlling, entitled, selfish, b******t boyishness. Grow the F*&^ up
Rez Fidel 3 years ago (edited)
Good job…. But the „boyfriend“ act still carries the message that it’s okay to do that…Just not when a „bro“ already possesses the female. To tell the creep to f@ck off cause no means no would be better.
Claire the Bear 3 years ago
that would be the ideal but unfortunately these creeps don't take no for an answer
Load More Replies... #18
Had it happen on vacation down in Florida. Went to the bar at the hotel and this girl came up to me and said hey can I walk with you for a few this guy won’t leave me alone. Said sure no problem. So we started walking and she told the guy to leave her alone and that I was her bf. We walked for about half a block and turned the corner after seeing him run off. She said thank you and gave me a hug. Told her my wife would have been pissed if I hadn’t done it and sure enough when I told my wife 5 minutes later she said I better have damn sure helped her lol
#19
Happened to me in Chicago a few years back. My fiancée and I owned a little clothing shop in a pretty nice area (not that it helped us any hah!), and a women who was pushing a stroller, walked up to me and put her arm in mine, and whispered “please walk with me”
She discreetly pointed to a pretty sketchy looking dude down the alley. He had been following her for a few blocks.
She told me she’s seen him before and she’s very worried he wanted her purse (or worse). So I walked her to the Starbucks two blocks down where she was meeting a group of friends. The guy stopped following when he saw she was with a dude. I’m not huge by any means but I’m 6’1” so at least there’s that.
I was just so glad it worked. Poor woman … can’t imagine that fear—especially when you’ve got a newborn with you.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
Size can make a difference, but it's attitude that helps. Dude-itude! :-)
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
It's bad enough that a guy wants to follow a woman on her own. But there's really something wrong with a man who wants to hit on (or worse) a woman who has a newborn. I mean - really dude? That goes beyond the level of creep. That's pure criminal.
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
That's true it's all tude I've had it happen lots never asked a guy for help not that is a bad thing. Just never needed to. I have a murder look most guys just bail. All in the tube. I guess I look like too much trouble to deal with. Of course I grew up in some rough neighborhoods.
Nadine Debard 3 years ago
I would give the murder look if a creep followed me and my baby. I don't often stand up for myself but don't you dare approaching my child. Rrrrroar.
Load More Replies... #20
Happened to me before, I replied "okay, roll with it"
"hi sweetheart you're late as always!" put my arm over, feigned a kiss, held her hand and walked her home. Creeper followed us the entire way so we carried on walking until we got to a house of a friend of hers, went in had coffee and waited for the utter wierdo to leave. Made some good friend that night though
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
Good grief, if he was still there when you went in, you should have called the police.
#21
A version of this actually happened to me. I was in a bar with my sister waiting on a table for dinner and two girls near us were being bothered by a somewhat drunk guy. My sister asked me to intervene so I went over and pretended to be an old friend for high school, luckily they picked up on it pretty quick and I situated myself in between them and the drunk guy and eventually he left. I ended up dating one of them for a few years and we are still good friend to this day.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I rescued a friend from being harrassed in a club by pretending to be her girlfriend, but the guy wasn’t getting the hint so told him to get lost or I’d call security. His mates found him and told him not to bother girls again and took him away. Must have been a serial offender, but I was ready to kick ass if he came back
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
I would hope someone would do this for my sister. She would definitely need help she grew up in suburbs.
#22
I had this happen at a local mall so I said, "Okay." So we walked into the jewelry store that was close by and stood on the side of the counter that allowed us to face the mall so we could watch who walked by. While we pretended to look at jewelry, I asked her to describe the guy that was following her and I looked up and noticed him wandering in front of the store. Employee came over and asked what we were looking for and I quietly told the employee what was going on and she was nice enough to go along with us while texting her boss. Within a few minutes, the local PD showed up and when he noticed them, he took off.
Kimberly Brewer 3 years ago (edited)
That makes it sound like that dude was either known as a weirdo or had been called out for that behavior before. Either way - thanks for helping her.
#23
Took a huge chance at a bar but it ended up working out.
I noticed a girl sitting by herself getting her ear talked off by a guy much older then her sitting at a bar stool next to her. He was clearly hammered, slurring, leaning in, really using his hands to talk, etc. She mainly stared straight ahead or down at her drink when she responded and it was usually one or two words.
Don’t know where I got the courage from, because this easily could have back fired, but I slid my body perpendicular between them, with my back facing him and myself facing her and asked her a generic question that indicated I might know her, I can’t recall the specifics but it was something like “hey are you Julie? From Kevin’s party? No way! How are you?”
With in 30 seconds he was gone. I asked her if she was good, stuck around to finish my drink and make sure she was ok, and left.
#24
This actually happened to me in the autumn. A girl sat next to me on the train becouse a creep was following her.
It was funny becouse I think I look like a creep.
NsG 3 years ago
You might think you *look* like a creep, but you would have been giving off very "not creep" vibes. You can look like you hit every branch as you fell out of the ugly tree but we will feel safe around you, compared to Adonis who just makes our skin crawl.
Melanie Rose 3 years ago
It doesn't matter what you look like, it's the vibes us women get from certain men.
#25
I had a girl do this at a concert. She walked up to me hugged me and said something like pretend to be my boyfriend some guy is being creepy. We talked about the show for a little while I kept an eye on the guy until he walked away. She thanked me and went to find her friends.
I'd do it again.
Paul Jordan 3 years ago
You know, this has never happened to me personally. But I have an amazingly gorgeous little sister. And am So thankful that there are good guys like these out there. Not everyone is bad. Yeah there are creepers everywhere but to know there are good men, willing to put themselves in uncomfortable situations, for a perfect stranger? I am incredibly grateful, and more than a little relieved. Thanks guys
#26
Personally, have only had this happen once, and she immediately turned into my sister the moment I heard "I'm being followed." I was near a group of friends and put my arm around her shoulders and loudly said to my friend group hey guy this is my sister. They knew she wasn't but understood something was up so the joined in. We started walking around as it was at a county fair, and lead her to the safety office where EMTs, LEOs and the Fire department stationed up for the week. As this took place before cellphones outside of Nokia was widely available.
Paul Jordan 3 years ago
I don’t usually, but I have honestly upvoted every story and every comment so far! I truly hope, if I ever find myself in such a situation, I too have the courage to stand up. I’m sorry, ladies, that this works makes it necessary. Sincerely. I can only strive to do my best to help change what I can. Shame on all these creepers…but good on the responders. And, while we’re at it: good on you, ladies, for asking for help!! That must be terrifying, I can literally only imagine
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#27
Had this happen to me too, girl was walking home and passed me on the street but stopped just after walking passed and started talking to me like she knew me, I looked down the road and saw some guy just stop dead in his tracks. I asked her if she was okay (quietly) and she nodded and asked if he was still coming, he was just standing there like a weirdo. I asked her if she wanted me to close to home (didn't wanna seem like a creep myself). She said yes so I walked her down the road from her house and said goodnight, wasn't too far from where we were tbh but the guy quickly left when we started walking together.
She was nice I guess, bit too chatty tbh but probably just nervous as I look a bit intimidating myself (crazy eyes lol) but i guess she didn't have much of a choice. It's pretty frustrating knowing women have to deal with this kind of s**t tbh.
Sinkvenice 3 years ago
She was a "bit too chatty tbh"? She was being followed by a creepy dude and was freaked out to the extent where she had to ask a stranger to pretend they knew each other to make the creep go away. What an odd detail to make a point of mentioning.
Nayo 3 years ago
I kindly disagree. When I am really nervous, I tend to be very very chatty too. To the point I am ambarased and thinking to myself that I must stop but I can't. So I kind of understand what he says.
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Zina Monceaux 3 years ago
“She was nice I guess!” Maybe she should’ve treated you like a creepy guy!
DetongLhamo 3 years ago
So imagine how frustrating it is to be female and be the victim of this unacceptable behaviour. I’ve been stalked and there’s been NO ONE around and it’s terrifying.
SB 3 years ago
lol right? He had crazy eyes and she was "too chatty" for a woman who is in fight/flight and hoping she doesn't get murdered by creepy guy #1 or crazy eyes.
Load More Replies... #28
Happened to me a few years back at a bar, random girl walked up to me and said “omg I haven’t see you since high school” and had the scared to s**t look in her eyes, saw the dude standing right behind her, we made conversation for a while and I asked who her friend was she said “oh idk what was your name again?” Then he introduced himself as her boyfriend, so we kept talking she bought me a drink and after about an hour the guy finally just walked away
She thanks me profusely and told me the guy had followed her to the bathroom, I told her nbd and she ended up buying me a drink for a while before she her friends got there
Hands down the best impromptu job of making conversation and playing like we knew each other for years I’ve ever experienced…our improv game was on point
Ruth Watry 3 years ago
Women need to be taught (in a situation where others are around) to shout as loud as they can "leave me the f**k alone"
Jodi Von Seggern 3 years ago
Unfortunately doesn't always work. The creeps already do not take NO for an answer.
Load More Replies... DetongLhamo 3 years ago
She wasn’t practicing improv- she was trying to escape a stalker/rapist/murderer.
Kimberly Brewer 3 years ago
By improvising a situation. How did that whole concept elude you?
Load More Replies... #29
I've been in this situation before. She sat down next to me at the bar and started talking like we were old friends. I was confused at first, but then noticed she kept looking over my shoulder and figured it out pretty quick. We talked for a few minutes before she visibly relaxed and informed me what was going on. Dude was being super aggressive with her at another bar and she left, but he followed her, so she ducked into this one to get away, but he followed her in. He came back about 10 minutes later, but by that time the rest of the guys from my platoon and some townies we were friends with were around and I had briefed them on the situation. When they walked in, about a quarter of the bar turned to stare at them and they quickly left.
And then everyone clapped.
Lorena Hamilton 3 years ago
My story is a little different. I'm in my 60ish female and was being followed by 2 men while I was shopping. I didn't like the sensation I was getting. I walked up to a middle aged gentleman and his 20ish son. I gave the older man a hug and called the younger man my grandson. They picked up the problem immediately and I finished my shopping with them. My "grandson" walked .e to my car, loaded my stuff, and said, "I'll see you later grandma". I so appreciated them!!
Ruth Hempsey 3 years ago
I'm in my late 70s and I was twice bothered by creeps before I was even 14. Admittedly I was tall and might have looked older but no make up, a pony tail, and white socks not nylons had to show I was just a kid. The second time it happened I was able to latch on to a group of older teens who understood why and treated me as one of their group so I was safe, but it's not just young women but all women, even those too young to be called women, who sometimes need help. Nothing much has changed in 65 years, sad to say.
Load More Replies... Mary Leverett 3 years ago
After reading all these, as someone probably older than everyone else here - what we've read is MASCULINITY at it's finest - no "toxic" ANYTHING. Can we PLEASE recognize that "masculinity", in and of itself, is NOT an attribute to quash?
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
Hey great job thank you for your service and helping a woman in need. You are a gentleman.
#30
This is how I got robbed in Arizona. Some girl approached me saying she was being followed. I told her to get behind me and next thing I know i felt cold steel on my neck and two men came out of nowhere.
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
I am so sorry! Even though you tried to do the right thing these creeps took advantage.
Pamela Blue 3 years ago
Crap. I would hope this kind of situation would be very rare. Let's face it, it's not rare for women to be followed and harrassed. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Don't let it stop you from helping a damsel in distress!
Travis Fox 3 years ago
Had the same thing happen in Atlanta. Group of three of us robbed by gun point after trying to "help" a girl who said she was drunk and couldn't find her way to her car n someone was following her. We were walking her "towards" her car when she wanted to cut between two clubs she said she parked behind. As soon as we walk between the buildings we were met by two men with guns that she was with. Lost everything we all had trying to be nice and do the right thing.
Tracy Campbell 3 years ago
You ride a fine line sometimes when you’re being the good guy/gal. You need to read the room and be aware of YOUR personal safety as well.
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago (edited)
I'm sorry this happened. I assure that this won't always be true
What do you think ?
Mad Mar 3 years ago
Went out with friends to a dance club. Got sorta pulled away and they were on the other side of the club. Some guy bought me a drink. I didn't want it as I just finished one an was on a water drink that looked like a cocktail. He kept saying he wanted to dance. I said ok. But then he didn't want to dance. He said drink the drink. I said after I finish what I have. I was searching for my friends. Saw a huge guy against a wall over his shoulder and said I have to go. I hadn't taken his drink he got for me. I went up to the big dude and said "hey Dave nice seeing you here"! I leaned in an said "pretend your my bro please"! Big dude gave me a bear hug an said "what's up sis?!!" I said oh I lost the girls in here. Can u see since ur tall? Ha ha we joking an weirdo comes by w the drink again trying to put it in my hand. I said "Dave I think he's trying to give me a spiked drink". The weirdo runs off, Big dude helped me find my friends. An we got weirdo booted from the club.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
Anybody can do this, not just big men. I was leaving a store with my mother and daughter. Couldn't help noticing a pregnant woman with several bags in the lobby looking very distressed. My alarm bells went off, so I held back to talk to her. Turned out she was trying to get to the local women's shelter, but her abusive ex was waiting outside to force her to go with him. Got my mother and daughter to drive round to the entrance in the car. As I was getting her and her stuff in her car, the guy came up and started yelling. He was a BIG guy. I faced off against him and yelled really loudly for him to back off and go away. He was trying to find out who I was. I told him, "You don't want to find out, buddy. Get gone, now." He did, fortunately. I had been to the shelter myself, so knew where it was (they are often in secret locations for obvious reasons). Hope Mary and her kid are doing well.
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
These guys helping women to fend off creeps are true heroes! I feel a little sorry though that these creeps won't accept a no from a girl unless another man was enforcing it.
KurtCobainofficiallmao 3 years ago
I am a girl and I say a big thank you to all the people who are willing to get other people out of dangerous situations! (: thank you so much
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
My wife, before I met her, told me she and her sister where at the bar when this guy kept asking my future wife to dance. She kept telling him no, so the guy leaned over and bit her on the arm. Her sis punched the dude in the nose, and a second later he was tackled to the ground by two bartenders. They picked him up and physically threw him out the door into the parking lot.
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
I was at the bar with a buddy one time when I noticed a guy hitting on a girl I had gone to school with. She and her friend had told this guy several times they weren't interested, but he just kept on, keeping on. I told my buddy to follow my lead as I got up and walked over. I put my arm around the girl I knew and said "you ready to go honey"? Without missing a beat she said "yes dear". My buddy and her friend follow right along like they were a couple too. We all left and went to a different bar together, and had a great night.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I will gladly pretend to be a friend/cousin/mum/sister/aunt or girlfriend to help out anyone who’s being harassed or followed by creepers. And heavens help anyone who tries to keep it up!
K- THULU 3 years ago
In my mid 30s I was in art school and as an old punk fell in with a lot of the teen goth scene , and was generally seen as pretty harmless despite being 6" 4' and scary looking. For years I was regularly the go to guy for any goth chick from the scene, even when i didn't know them cause they knew whenever a guy would hassle them they could say " I've got a boyfriend" and run to me . Usually the guy would take one look at me and give up. Funny really cause I'm a total pussy when it comes to macho s**t! My girlfriend at the time had way bigger balls than I did.
Amanda Lalonde 3 years ago
I love reading about these kind of things and I'm happy to know there are awesome dudes out there. If roles were reversed I'd would totally help out a guy or girl in an uncomfortable situation.
Mad Mar 3 years ago
Went out with friends to a dance club. Got sorta pulled away and they were on the other side of the club. Some guy bought me a drink. I didn't want it as I just finished one an was on a water drink that looked like a cocktail. He kept saying he wanted to dance. I said ok. But then he didn't want to dance. He said drink the drink. I said after I finish what I have. I was searching for my friends. Saw a huge guy against a wall over his shoulder and said I have to go. I hadn't taken his drink he got for me. I went up to the big dude and said "hey Dave nice seeing you here"! I leaned in an said "pretend your my bro please"! Big dude gave me a bear hug an said "what's up sis?!!" I said oh I lost the girls in here. Can u see since ur tall? Ha ha we joking an weirdo comes by w the drink again trying to put it in my hand. I said "Dave I think he's trying to give me a spiked drink". The weirdo runs off, Big dude helped me find my friends. An we got weirdo booted from the club.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
Anybody can do this, not just big men. I was leaving a store with my mother and daughter. Couldn't help noticing a pregnant woman with several bags in the lobby looking very distressed. My alarm bells went off, so I held back to talk to her. Turned out she was trying to get to the local women's shelter, but her abusive ex was waiting outside to force her to go with him. Got my mother and daughter to drive round to the entrance in the car. As I was getting her and her stuff in her car, the guy came up and started yelling. He was a BIG guy. I faced off against him and yelled really loudly for him to back off and go away. He was trying to find out who I was. I told him, "You don't want to find out, buddy. Get gone, now." He did, fortunately. I had been to the shelter myself, so knew where it was (they are often in secret locations for obvious reasons). Hope Mary and her kid are doing well.
Zedrapazia 3 years ago
These guys helping women to fend off creeps are true heroes! I feel a little sorry though that these creeps won't accept a no from a girl unless another man was enforcing it.
KurtCobainofficiallmao 3 years ago
I am a girl and I say a big thank you to all the people who are willing to get other people out of dangerous situations! (: thank you so much
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
My wife, before I met her, told me she and her sister where at the bar when this guy kept asking my future wife to dance. She kept telling him no, so the guy leaned over and bit her on the arm. Her sis punched the dude in the nose, and a second later he was tackled to the ground by two bartenders. They picked him up and physically threw him out the door into the parking lot.
Tiredofpayingforothers 3 years ago
I was at the bar with a buddy one time when I noticed a guy hitting on a girl I had gone to school with. She and her friend had told this guy several times they weren't interested, but he just kept on, keeping on. I told my buddy to follow my lead as I got up and walked over. I put my arm around the girl I knew and said "you ready to go honey"? Without missing a beat she said "yes dear". My buddy and her friend follow right along like they were a couple too. We all left and went to a different bar together, and had a great night.
KombatBunni 3 years ago
I will gladly pretend to be a friend/cousin/mum/sister/aunt or girlfriend to help out anyone who’s being harassed or followed by creepers. And heavens help anyone who tries to keep it up!
K- THULU 3 years ago
In my mid 30s I was in art school and as an old punk fell in with a lot of the teen goth scene , and was generally seen as pretty harmless despite being 6" 4' and scary looking. For years I was regularly the go to guy for any goth chick from the scene, even when i didn't know them cause they knew whenever a guy would hassle them they could say " I've got a boyfriend" and run to me . Usually the guy would take one look at me and give up. Funny really cause I'm a total pussy when it comes to macho s**t! My girlfriend at the time had way bigger balls than I did.
Amanda Lalonde 3 years ago
I love reading about these kind of things and I'm happy to know there are awesome dudes out there. If roles were reversed I'd would totally help out a guy or girl in an uncomfortable situation.
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