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“Medical Professionals, What Is The Stupidest Misconception A Patient Has Had About The Human Body?” (30 Stories)
It's impossible to know everything there is to our lives – and as much as we would've liked that, some things are just not meant to be. Though, there are times when people's cluelessness makes you want to question your whole existence.
It appears that many folks don't really know their anatomy. Some are confused about complicated things, so it's somewhat understandable – others get freaked out when they realize that their newborn child is toothless. Perhaps you could blame the education system on this issue, as it's a widely known fact that it all could be a little bit more informative – however, when somebody is surprised about their offspring's lack of teeth, it raises a question or two.
An online user took it to one of Reddit's communities and asked the medical professionals about random human body misconceptions their patients have had. The experts have gathered together and shared a bunch of amusing and sometimes mind-blowing stories, resulting in the thread receiving nearly 17K upvotes and 7.3K worth of comments.
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A couple was pregnant and didn't understand why since "they were taking the birth control pill". It turns out it was the guy who was taking it.
I asked an elderly patient to show me how she gives her insulin. She said, I need an orange. I said why? She said well, I draw up my insulin in the syringe, inject it in the orange and eat it! That’s how the Dr showed me to do insulin!
I can’t begin to tell you how many dudes have argued with me that they’ve had hysterectomies. And I’m like you mean appendectomy? And they are absolutely adamant that they had a hysterectomy.
I offered a diabetic a tissue after doing a finger prick to mop the the 2 drops of blood on his finger. He looked at me like I was an absolute idiot, said "you don't know very much do you" and sucked the blood off his finger. Then spend the next 5min 'educating' me that because he was a diabetic, he needed all the blood he had. Therefore he needed to 'put it back into his body' rather then wasting it by putting it on a tissue. He was under the impression that if he just drank his blood it would go straight back into circulation.
Working in an ER as a nurse practitioner. I had a patient’s granddaughter, who was pregnant, ask me if she dyed her hair would it also dye her baby’s hair. Made my day!
My dad doesn't have a clue on anything that happens in the body. I told him I work in a tissue lab and he asked "oh are you developing new Kleenex?"
When I told him that I work with body tissue this man really said "oh, I don't think I have that. I just use Kleenex"
I had a father of a baby absolutely beside himself because his newborn baby had no teeth
Baby came out face down ... father freaked out his child was born without a face. We had a good laugh after.
I hope the baby did come out facing the bed as a face to pubes delivery is extremely painful and the head tends to cause very extensive tears
“Did you have anything this morning for your fasting blood draw?”
“No, just tea with honey, and a glass of orange juice.”
"What do you mean, I can't eat an entire fruit cake? Isn't fruit supposed to be healty?"
-Diabetic type 2 with a blood sugar level of 450 mg/dl.
Pregnant girl who were on the pill, asked why she get pregnant, discovered that one day she takes it, the next day it's her boyfriend and so on ...
That's not what we mean by "sharing cost"
And another one, she pulls the whole box of pills (Yes all 28) in a bottle of water, and take a sip once a day.
Pharmacist here. I had a patient call me and ask me why their medication wasn’t working anymore after they had stopped taking it.
I’m a dentist and the thing we get all the time that I hate is parents not caring about their child’s decay because ‘they’re just baby teeth’. Losing baby teeth early causes all sorts of problems aside from the pain and trauma but in addition to that I often have to explain to parents that the adult teeth that erupt at age 6 are meant to last forever. They’re always oblivious.
My dentist of 25 years passed away 2 weeks ago. I am so sad! A lot of patients came to the funeral which made me smile :)
I had breast reduction surgery. My husband went to the pre-op appt with me. The doctor was explaining the surgery and mentioned they would remove my nipples. My husband asked where they were going to get new ones from.
12 years later and we joke about wondering where the nipple locker is.
Sometimes you just gotta learn. I used to think that when a guy transitioned to a woman, they just cut down the tree,split the stump and saved them in a freezer or something for when a woman transitioned to a guy. But that was back in the olden days of the 90's.
One time I had to explain to a parent that the “bump” on their child’s foot they were worried about was an ankle.
I had a colleague in her thirties with children who had come to the UK after marriage - she asked me one day if you could use tampons before you were married. She honestly had no clue about her own anatomy.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a female coworker who was at least 35 say she never used tampons because there are "so many holes down there." She was confused by her own anatomy!
Obviously, she comes from an Islamic country, and asked whether virgins could use tampons... the hymen staying intact being the main concern here.
When I started my period, back in 1968, I wanted to use tampons so I could go swimming every day. My mother told me, "You can't because you are not married." Me, "What does that have to do with it?" No answer. Mom was not going to explain about a hyman to me, and I am sure that she thought that I would no longer be a virgin.
YES! My exact situation, same time frame also. Got these small tampons and started using them, what a relief. Mom searched my purse, found them took them away, gave the same speech, told her too bad, so sad, it's too late.
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She knows her anatomy all right, It's you who has no clue about the cultural diversity. In many cultures people pay a great importance to the premarital abstinence, this said, there are still some women who are not keen to damage the hymen expecting it to be painful or uncomfortable and preferring to use pads before they get sexually active. All in all, question is very valid, period :)
Thing is.....it's a load of crap because sex is not the only thing that can cause the hymen to tear, and you can have sex and never tear the hymen. It is impossible to tell whether or not someone is a virgin by looking at the hymen. This is scientific fact.
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That definitely was the general advice. We laughed.
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I've never laughed at girls who use magazines for sex ed - a magazine was the ONLY place that ever recommended women should get a mirror, lie down, and have a good look at your own genital set-up. Not teachers, not textbooks - Cosmo gave the most sensible sex ed I ever read.
My mother did NOT want me to use them before I was 18. Like I was going to lose my virginity or something...
I upvoted your comment and wish could do it again so it wasn't negative!! If stupid people have kids then they generally only educate them to that level and so on. The movie Stupidity, one day will be true.
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My Mum was pretty sure I'd lose my virginity if she let me use tampons...
I just wish boys were as conscious of the importance some people put on virginity. Honor killings, guilt, pressure and total lack of information. Knowledge is power. Doesn't mean you're going to suddenly have your flags flying and become a nymphomaniac. Teen moms on reality tv instead of being shipped of and returning home with a baby.
Well I am double Masters 31 yesrs old, married and pregnant and i didn't know a virgin could use tampon without hurting her hymen
This is not uncommon. All too many women have no clue when it comes to menstruation. It's because Americans have largely been convinced that educating people about their bodies leads to sex and that sex is bad and should never be discussed. So stupid. Let's just say MY children are well educated.
When I was training our anatomy teacher taught us the female anatomy and said at the end if you don't understand go home and use a mirror. When tampons firs came out, unmarried woman were advised not to use them because it would damage the hymen! (not a virgin anymore)!
Had a mother ask if it was true that the soft spot of her baby’s head was “like a whale blow hole” that he could breathe out of. Apparently her own mother had told her that.
Sometimes in pregnancy women’s bellies can gain a little bit of hair, I assume from extra hormones etc. During a routine prenatal check a partner asked if it was the fetus’ hair poking through her skin.
Holistic doctors have convinced a lot of people that adding BLEACH to their drinking water will cure chronic diseases.
Literally a high enough dosage to stain clothing being drank through a straw.
BEST part is there's no convincing them otherwise.
I’m in the mental health field but I met with a client who was worried that if their relative had a heart transplant would the relative still love and remember them. The logic being that the feeling of love lives in the heart.
Pregnant patient during ultrasound: “my baby loves Doritos.” Me performing the ultrasound on said baby: “awww, baby is opening its mouth!” Pregnant patient: “omg! It’s Doritos! I just had Doritos! It’s EATING the Doritos!”
I've had male patients in my audiology clinic tell me they have fallopian tube issues. Perhaps I shouldn't assume they mean eustachian tube issues, but I do.
They seem to think that, by pausing a ‘seizure’ to inform us that they’re having a seizure, they’ll get benzos. Lol no.
I’m a phlebotomist. I’ve had so many patents tell me “blood is blue until it touches air.”
Well, I actually heard that in high school science class! Apparently it was thought to be true, back when people thought the hemoglobin molecules dropped off all the oxygen they carried in the capillary beds. Actually, venous blood is about 70% oxygenated, and if you see blood circulaing through an ECMO machine (heart-lung bypass), the venous blood is darker red than arterial, but not a lot darker.
I taught a college level health ed class, and the misconceptions were truly astonishing.
Students wondered why household bleach could not be injected into a vein to cure HIV, and questioned why alcoholics were not immune since alcohol is an antiseptic.
I don't understand why you are surprised by this, Your president seemed to think it was a good idea and he said he was very smart, in fact smarter than anyone.
Not a medical professional, but I had a coworker who did not know she had a urethra. She thought that was something only men had. I had to break it to her that she did indeed have a urethra.
I used to take retinal photos to look for diabetic retinopathy. When I would call to make appointments, more than once a patient said “Well I just saw the proctologist.” No sir, these are retinal photos, not rectal photos.
I'm not a doctor, but my sister works in a hospital. No, you don't need to go to the ER for a papercut. You won't bleed out
“How are you feeling today?” “Not great, I have a cough that starts from an emotion in my throat and chest. That emotion disturbs me.”
... a bacterial pneumonia ... roommate is a neighborhood “spiritual guru”
That the only reason to eat healthy is to manage weight. Also that alcohol is not harmful unless you are a full on alcoholic.
Alcohol is harmful unless you're an alcoholic, taking alcohol away from an alcoholic can kill them...
Note: this post originally had 33 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
anddd some of these show exactly why we need better sex education. many unwanted pregnancies and other dangerous health complications could all be avoided if we stopped dancing around the topic and actually taught children and teens about their own bodies
Sounds like better education in general is needed in some places.
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The prize for me is still the kid who insisted he couldn't get a girl pregnant if he had already ejaculated from masturbation that day. Apparently, he was under the impression he gets one batch of sperm per diem. (Fortunately, he had not reproduced; she was negative on urine and blood and exam.)
At least I get that one, I remember hearing that semen has less sperm in it basically throughout the day, so if he also heard that I can understand the slight confusion there.
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The sad truth is that some people just aren't intelligent, both in terms of lacking the natural gifts that lead to intelligence in adulthood, and/or never having had anyone help them develop their minds. My job has exposed me to people from all levels of society, from the wealthy to the down-and-out poor, and I've seen what effects a lack of education or a lack of natural gifts can have on a vulnerable person. Being unable to manage their own health is only one thing that can go tragically wrong.
You speak absolute truth, Otter. I've seen it too, as you say, at all levels of society.
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My dad was a doctor. In 1962 Mom took us kids to the Seattle World's Fair. On the way we stopped and visited all the doctors and their families that we had all known in medical school. At one place we stopped and my mom called their very best friends. She called his office and when the receptionist answered my mom asked to speak to "Dr. H." The receptionist asked what it was in reference to and my mom said "you tell that son of a b***h that those damn suppositories he gave me were so big I had to cut them up to swallow them and for all the good they did me I might as well have stuck them up my @$$." The next voice on the phone was Dr. H and he said "Bets, where are you?"
Had a client come in with her newborn daughter, concerned the baby was poo-ing from her vagina. This mother had a degree, a well-paying job, all the usual ear-marks of privilege and education. She had done some googling and thought the baby had a “recto-vaginal fistula” (used the terminology and everything). I said “well, we’d better have a look at her”. On examination the mother pointed to the baby’s a**s and said “See? The poo is coming from there”. We then did a 15 minute female anatomy lesson where I proceeded to show her exactly where her daughter’s urethra, vagina and a**s were, and the function of each part. And the part she thought was supposed to be doing the pooing was, in fact, the tiniest of dimples.
I used to watch House and they always had some really funny patient scenes in the clinic. One of my favs was this woman who insisted her inhaler wasn't working for her and after questioning her he asked her to show him how she uses it, and it turns out she was spraying it like perfume on her neck.
My ex husband refused to make sex with me because his penis could hurt the baby. Only after Dr assured that it was save, he believed it. He is a very intelligent big 5 stars hotel manager.
To be fair, I believe this is a common fear for some men.
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The diabetic teaching, or lack thereof, and not verifying with the patient what they understand and don't is downright dangerous. But some of the patients I looked after, bless their hearts, truly, sometimes it was difficult to keep from laughing right then and there. Nope. They genuinely don't understand. That's what's important. But when back at the nurse's station, in the break room, 😆
Once had a conversation with an instructor at the local medical school, who astonished me with the fact that in every entering class there would be a sizeable contingent that claimed to be able to tell male and female skeletons apart by the number of ribs. You can guess where they got THAT idea.
I knew a woman who insisted that boy/girl twins can be identical. "Identical" doesn't mean just that they look alike. Any two siblings can look alike. "Identical" means they came from the same egg and sperm, and if one has a Y chromosome while the other has a second X, then they could NOT have. But try telling her that.
To be honest, people are often confused by this topic. I teach high school biology. Every year, ever class, I always have to explain to the kids the difference between diferent types if twins. In my language it's even in the name (translated) singleegg twins and doubleegg twins. And they still dont understand. I litteraly have to draw them a picture on the blackboard.
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I dated a girl in our early 20's who actually thought if she squeezed a douche bottle too hard, the liquid would come out her mouth. I thought she was just messing with me, but she was adamant it was true. She even got mad at me for not believing her.
So if that were true she could become pregnant by drinking or ...
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There are a lot of weird misconceptions of pregnancy I've heard of. Two of them include "Dangerops pregnant sex? Will it hurt baby top of his head?" and "You won't get pregnant if you have sex at night because the sperm is sleeping."
I think it's sad and terrifying that so many people have grown up and just don't even understand the basic functions of their own bodies. That their schools and their families have completely let them down, and then they haven't even bothered to educate themselves after the fact. Like, there's the internet, for goodness' sake.
We're all so effin' stupid that we have no choice but to blindly accept the decrees of our betters in the medical field. ''find out for yourself''? You gotta be kiddin', we,re jus way too dumb to do that, man.
I wonder if female nurses and physicians get more push back from male patients trying to mansplain the human body to them? "I did so have a hysterectomy!!" "Sir, I went to school for 8 years to become a physician, plus you do not have a uterus, so I assure you that you did not in fact have a hysterectomy." 🤦♀️
And I imaging all these comments are from first world patients. That's how our educational system works. Real chit.
And that toothless baby stays up all hours with mom and drinks with her. He's not got a job either. And just wait till he want some new Nikes.
Pretty sure most of these are made up and a lot of these people are NOT in healthcare, I'm a nurse and this sort of stupidity doesn't happen, but hey clicks and likes
If you think this level of stupidity doesn't ever happen, you haven't spoken to a large portion of society. I'm almost 30 and I have old classmates who still think women pee out of their vaginas.
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anddd some of these show exactly why we need better sex education. many unwanted pregnancies and other dangerous health complications could all be avoided if we stopped dancing around the topic and actually taught children and teens about their own bodies
Sounds like better education in general is needed in some places.
Load More Replies... The prize for me is still the kid who insisted he couldn't get a girl pregnant if he had already ejaculated from masturbation that day. Apparently, he was under the impression he gets one batch of sperm per diem. (Fortunately, he had not reproduced; she was negative on urine and blood and exam.)
At least I get that one, I remember hearing that semen has less sperm in it basically throughout the day, so if he also heard that I can understand the slight confusion there.
Load More Replies... The sad truth is that some people just aren't intelligent, both in terms of lacking the natural gifts that lead to intelligence in adulthood, and/or never having had anyone help them develop their minds. My job has exposed me to people from all levels of society, from the wealthy to the down-and-out poor, and I've seen what effects a lack of education or a lack of natural gifts can have on a vulnerable person. Being unable to manage their own health is only one thing that can go tragically wrong.
You speak absolute truth, Otter. I've seen it too, as you say, at all levels of society.
Load More Replies... My dad was a doctor. In 1962 Mom took us kids to the Seattle World's Fair. On the way we stopped and visited all the doctors and their families that we had all known in medical school. At one place we stopped and my mom called their very best friends. She called his office and when the receptionist answered my mom asked to speak to "Dr. H." The receptionist asked what it was in reference to and my mom said "you tell that son of a b***h that those damn suppositories he gave me were so big I had to cut them up to swallow them and for all the good they did me I might as well have stuck them up my @$$." The next voice on the phone was Dr. H and he said "Bets, where are you?"
Had a client come in with her newborn daughter, concerned the baby was poo-ing from her vagina. This mother had a degree, a well-paying job, all the usual ear-marks of privilege and education. She had done some googling and thought the baby had a “recto-vaginal fistula” (used the terminology and everything). I said “well, we’d better have a look at her”. On examination the mother pointed to the baby’s a**s and said “See? The poo is coming from there”. We then did a 15 minute female anatomy lesson where I proceeded to show her exactly where her daughter’s urethra, vagina and a**s were, and the function of each part. And the part she thought was supposed to be doing the pooing was, in fact, the tiniest of dimples.
I used to watch House and they always had some really funny patient scenes in the clinic. One of my favs was this woman who insisted her inhaler wasn't working for her and after questioning her he asked her to show him how she uses it, and it turns out she was spraying it like perfume on her neck.
My ex husband refused to make sex with me because his penis could hurt the baby. Only after Dr assured that it was save, he believed it. He is a very intelligent big 5 stars hotel manager.
To be fair, I believe this is a common fear for some men.
Load More Replies... The diabetic teaching, or lack thereof, and not verifying with the patient what they understand and don't is downright dangerous. But some of the patients I looked after, bless their hearts, truly, sometimes it was difficult to keep from laughing right then and there. Nope. They genuinely don't understand. That's what's important. But when back at the nurse's station, in the break room, 😆
Once had a conversation with an instructor at the local medical school, who astonished me with the fact that in every entering class there would be a sizeable contingent that claimed to be able to tell male and female skeletons apart by the number of ribs. You can guess where they got THAT idea.
I knew a woman who insisted that boy/girl twins can be identical. "Identical" doesn't mean just that they look alike. Any two siblings can look alike. "Identical" means they came from the same egg and sperm, and if one has a Y chromosome while the other has a second X, then they could NOT have. But try telling her that.
To be honest, people are often confused by this topic. I teach high school biology. Every year, ever class, I always have to explain to the kids the difference between diferent types if twins. In my language it's even in the name (translated) singleegg twins and doubleegg twins. And they still dont understand. I litteraly have to draw them a picture on the blackboard.
Load More Replies... I dated a girl in our early 20's who actually thought if she squeezed a douche bottle too hard, the liquid would come out her mouth. I thought she was just messing with me, but she was adamant it was true. She even got mad at me for not believing her.
So if that were true she could become pregnant by drinking or ...
Load More Replies... There are a lot of weird misconceptions of pregnancy I've heard of. Two of them include "Dangerops pregnant sex? Will it hurt baby top of his head?" and "You won't get pregnant if you have sex at night because the sperm is sleeping."
I think it's sad and terrifying that so many people have grown up and just don't even understand the basic functions of their own bodies. That their schools and their families have completely let them down, and then they haven't even bothered to educate themselves after the fact. Like, there's the internet, for goodness' sake.
We're all so effin' stupid that we have no choice but to blindly accept the decrees of our betters in the medical field. ''find out for yourself''? You gotta be kiddin', we,re jus way too dumb to do that, man.
I wonder if female nurses and physicians get more push back from male patients trying to mansplain the human body to them? "I did so have a hysterectomy!!" "Sir, I went to school for 8 years to become a physician, plus you do not have a uterus, so I assure you that you did not in fact have a hysterectomy." 🤦♀️
And I imaging all these comments are from first world patients. That's how our educational system works. Real chit.
And that toothless baby stays up all hours with mom and drinks with her. He's not got a job either. And just wait till he want some new Nikes.
Pretty sure most of these are made up and a lot of these people are NOT in healthcare, I'm a nurse and this sort of stupidity doesn't happen, but hey clicks and likes
If you think this level of stupidity doesn't ever happen, you haven't spoken to a large portion of society. I'm almost 30 and I have old classmates who still think women pee out of their vaginas.
Load More Replies... 