“Medical Professionals, What Is The Stupidest Misconception A Patient Has Had About The Human Body?” (30 Stories)
It's impossible to know everything there is to our lives – and as much as we would've liked that, some things are just not meant to be. Though, there are times when people's cluelessness makes you want to question your whole existence.
It appears that many folks don't really know their anatomy. Some are confused about complicated things, so it's somewhat understandable – others get freaked out when they realize that their newborn child is toothless. Perhaps you could blame the education system on this issue, as it's a widely known fact that it all could be a little bit more informative – however, when somebody is surprised about their offspring's lack of teeth, it raises a question or two.
An online user took it to one of Reddit's communities and asked the medical professionals about random human body misconceptions their patients have had. The experts have gathered together and shared a bunch of amusing and sometimes mind-blowing stories, resulting in the thread receiving nearly 17K upvotes and 7.3K worth of comments.
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The Pill
A couple was pregnant and didn't understand why since "they were taking the birth control pill". It turns out it was the guy who was taking it.
Insulin Injection
I asked an elderly patient to show me how she gives her insulin. She said, I need an orange. I said why? She said well, I draw up my insulin in the syringe, inject it in the orange and eat it! That’s how the Dr showed me to do insulin!
Appendectomy
I can’t begin to tell you how many dudes have argued with me that they’ve had hysterectomies. And I’m like you mean appendectomy? And they are absolutely adamant that they had a hysterectomy.
Blood
I offered a diabetic a tissue after doing a finger prick to mop the the 2 drops of blood on his finger. He looked at me like I was an absolute idiot, said "you don't know very much do you" and sucked the blood off his finger. Then spend the next 5min 'educating' me that because he was a diabetic, he needed all the blood he had. Therefore he needed to 'put it back into his body' rather then wasting it by putting it on a tissue. He was under the impression that if he just drank his blood it would go straight back into circulation.
Hair Dyes And Babies
Working in an ER as a nurse practitioner. I had a patient’s granddaughter, who was pregnant, ask me if she dyed her hair would it also dye her baby’s hair. Made my day!
Body Tissues And A Clueless Dad
My dad doesn't have a clue on anything that happens in the body. I told him I work in a tissue lab and he asked "oh are you developing new Kleenex?"
When I told him that I work with body tissue this man really said "oh, I don't think I have that. I just use Kleenex"
Toothless Baby
I had a father of a baby absolutely beside himself because his newborn baby had no teeth
Faceless Newborn
Baby came out face down ... father freaked out his child was born without a face. We had a good laugh after.
I hope the baby did come out facing the bed as a face to pubes delivery is extremely painful and the head tends to cause very extensive tears
Fasting For A Blood Test
“Did you have anything this morning for your fasting blood draw?”
“No, just tea with honey, and a glass of orange juice.”
Fruit Cake = Fruits
"What do you mean, I can't eat an entire fruit cake? Isn't fruit supposed to be healty?"
-Diabetic type 2 with a blood sugar level of 450 mg/dl.
Sharing Is Caring, Even If It's The Birth Control Pill
Pregnant girl who were on the pill, asked why she get pregnant, discovered that one day she takes it, the next day it's her boyfriend and so on ...
That's not what we mean by "sharing cost"
And another one, she pulls the whole box of pills (Yes all 28) in a bottle of water, and take a sip once a day.
Medication
Pharmacist here. I had a patient call me and ask me why their medication wasn’t working anymore after they had stopped taking it.
Baby Teeth And Their Importance
I’m a dentist and the thing we get all the time that I hate is parents not caring about their child’s decay because ‘they’re just baby teeth’. Losing baby teeth early causes all sorts of problems aside from the pain and trauma but in addition to that I often have to explain to parents that the adult teeth that erupt at age 6 are meant to last forever. They’re always oblivious.
My dentist of 25 years passed away 2 weeks ago. I am so sad! A lot of patients came to the funeral which made me smile :)
Breast Reduction Surgery
I had breast reduction surgery. My husband went to the pre-op appt with me. The doctor was explaining the surgery and mentioned they would remove my nipples. My husband asked where they were going to get new ones from.
12 years later and we joke about wondering where the nipple locker is.
Sometimes you just gotta learn. I used to think that when a guy transitioned to a woman, they just cut down the tree,split the stump and saved them in a freezer or something for when a woman transitioned to a guy. But that was back in the olden days of the 90's.
Ankle Bumps
One time I had to explain to a parent that the “bump” on their child’s foot they were worried about was an ankle.
Tampons And Anatomy
I had a colleague in her thirties with children who had come to the UK after marriage - she asked me one day if you could use tampons before you were married. She honestly had no clue about her own anatomy.
When I was in my early 20s, I had a female coworker who was at least 35 say she never used tampons because there are "so many holes down there." She was confused by her own anatomy!
Turns Out Whales And Babies Have A Lot In Common
Had a mother ask if it was true that the soft spot of her baby’s head was “like a whale blow hole” that he could breathe out of. Apparently her own mother had told her that.
Fetus' Hair
Sometimes in pregnancy women’s bellies can gain a little bit of hair, I assume from extra hormones etc. During a routine prenatal check a partner asked if it was the fetus’ hair poking through her skin.
Bleach
Holistic doctors have convinced a lot of people that adding BLEACH to their drinking water will cure chronic diseases.
Literally a high enough dosage to stain clothing being drank through a straw.
BEST part is there's no convincing them otherwise.
Heart And Its Feelings
I’m in the mental health field but I met with a client who was worried that if their relative had a heart transplant would the relative still love and remember them. The logic being that the feeling of love lives in the heart.
Baby And Doritos
Pregnant patient during ultrasound: “my baby loves Doritos.” Me performing the ultrasound on said baby: “awww, baby is opening its mouth!” Pregnant patient: “omg! It’s Doritos! I just had Doritos! It’s EATING the Doritos!”
Tube Issues
I've had male patients in my audiology clinic tell me they have fallopian tube issues. Perhaps I shouldn't assume they mean eustachian tube issues, but I do.
Seizures And Benzodiazepines
They seem to think that, by pausing a ‘seizure’ to inform us that they’re having a seizure, they’ll get benzos. Lol no.
Blood Is Not Actually Blue
I’m a phlebotomist. I’ve had so many patents tell me “blood is blue until it touches air.”
Well, I actually heard that in high school science class! Apparently it was thought to be true, back when people thought the hemoglobin molecules dropped off all the oxygen they carried in the capillary beds. Actually, venous blood is about 70% oxygenated, and if you see blood circulaing through an ECMO machine (heart-lung bypass), the venous blood is darker red than arterial, but not a lot darker.
Students And Their Bizzare Questions
I taught a college level health ed class, and the misconceptions were truly astonishing.
Students wondered why household bleach could not be injected into a vein to cure HIV, and questioned why alcoholics were not immune since alcohol is an antiseptic.
Urethra
Not a medical professional, but I had a coworker who did not know she had a urethra. She thought that was something only men had. I had to break it to her that she did indeed have a urethra.
Retinal Photos
I used to take retinal photos to look for diabetic retinopathy. When I would call to make appointments, more than once a patient said “Well I just saw the proctologist.” No sir, these are retinal photos, not rectal photos.
Papercuts
I'm not a doctor, but my sister works in a hospital. No, you don't need to go to the ER for a papercut. You won't bleed out
Is It A Bacterial Pneumonia Or Just A Disturbing Emotion?
“How are you feeling today?” “Not great, I have a cough that starts from an emotion in my throat and chest. That emotion disturbs me.”
... a bacterial pneumonia ... roommate is a neighborhood “spiritual guru”
Healthy Eating And Alcohol
That the only reason to eat healthy is to manage weight. Also that alcohol is not harmful unless you are a full on alcoholic.
Alcohol is harmful unless you're an alcoholic, taking alcohol away from an alcoholic can kill them...
Note: this post originally had 33 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
anddd some of these show exactly why we need better sex education. many unwanted pregnancies and other dangerous health complications could all be avoided if we stopped dancing around the topic and actually taught children and teens about their own bodies
Sounds like better education in general is needed in some places.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I like how you think education about the topic will solve everything. Folks would only know better, not do better. But it’s a sweet thought 🙂
The prize for me is still the kid who insisted he couldn't get a girl pregnant if he had already ejaculated from masturbation that day. Apparently, he was under the impression he gets one batch of sperm per diem. (Fortunately, he had not reproduced; she was negative on urine and blood and exam.)
At least I get that one, I remember hearing that semen has less sperm in it basically throughout the day, so if he also heard that I can understand the slight confusion there.
I *never* heard that. Seriously, is that a thing? Wow. OK, learn a new thing every day! :-)
To a degree, yes. That's why when couple Is trying to have a baby, they should have sex once in a three days. That's when the ejaculate contains the biggest amount of sperms, since it takes some time for a body to create them. So technically, yes, if you ejaculate, there will be less sperms in your next ejaculate... But not significantly enough to use this as a birth-control method...
My doctor neighbour had one couple who insisted 'they' couldn't be pregnant because he always drank two full glasses of water before sex. The soon-to-be father believed it diluted the semen so much the sperm wouldn't be effective.
Oh.... boy. I hadn't heard that one in a long time. *sigh*
The sad truth is that some people just aren't intelligent, both in terms of lacking the natural gifts that lead to intelligence in adulthood, and/or never having had anyone help them develop their minds. My job has exposed me to people from all levels of society, from the wealthy to the down-and-out poor, and I've seen what effects a lack of education or a lack of natural gifts can have on a vulnerable person. Being unable to manage their own health is only one thing that can go tragically wrong.
You speak absolute truth, Otter. I've seen it too, as you say, at all levels of society.
It's why a social safety net is so absolutely necessary. Some people are going to spend their entire lives needing help and support, and it should be available.
There is so much information, but very little engagement. It is important to engage people on a profound level, when they are young, or they can just sort of float through the sea of disengaged information.
It's not just a lack of education, it's a lack of potential resulting in a failure to overcome the threshold to what we would call "common knowledge" nowadays. I'm pretty sure because these people are also found in rich countries with perfectly capable educational systems. It's the brain prioritizing within it's own capacity.
This and people now make exceptions for people not having common sense I'm only in my mid 20s and there are some people I see get just think the rules are different for them or just don't know basic rules that every person 5+ should follow and if you meet these peoples parents you will find alot of times they yell and scream till they get there way so that's what they did when raising their children but most of the time yelling and screaming at a kid won't make them do what you want so its easier to yell at the teacher , fast food worker , or other kids moms so the kid never learns the lessons they need because as the teacher or anyone else it's easier just to ignore that kid and parent then try to deal with them
anddd some of these show exactly why we need better sex education. many unwanted pregnancies and other dangerous health complications could all be avoided if we stopped dancing around the topic and actually taught children and teens about their own bodies
Sounds like better education in general is needed in some places.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I like how you think education about the topic will solve everything. Folks would only know better, not do better. But it’s a sweet thought 🙂
The prize for me is still the kid who insisted he couldn't get a girl pregnant if he had already ejaculated from masturbation that day. Apparently, he was under the impression he gets one batch of sperm per diem. (Fortunately, he had not reproduced; she was negative on urine and blood and exam.)
At least I get that one, I remember hearing that semen has less sperm in it basically throughout the day, so if he also heard that I can understand the slight confusion there.
I *never* heard that. Seriously, is that a thing? Wow. OK, learn a new thing every day! :-)
To a degree, yes. That's why when couple Is trying to have a baby, they should have sex once in a three days. That's when the ejaculate contains the biggest amount of sperms, since it takes some time for a body to create them. So technically, yes, if you ejaculate, there will be less sperms in your next ejaculate... But not significantly enough to use this as a birth-control method...
My doctor neighbour had one couple who insisted 'they' couldn't be pregnant because he always drank two full glasses of water before sex. The soon-to-be father believed it diluted the semen so much the sperm wouldn't be effective.
Oh.... boy. I hadn't heard that one in a long time. *sigh*
The sad truth is that some people just aren't intelligent, both in terms of lacking the natural gifts that lead to intelligence in adulthood, and/or never having had anyone help them develop their minds. My job has exposed me to people from all levels of society, from the wealthy to the down-and-out poor, and I've seen what effects a lack of education or a lack of natural gifts can have on a vulnerable person. Being unable to manage their own health is only one thing that can go tragically wrong.
You speak absolute truth, Otter. I've seen it too, as you say, at all levels of society.
It's why a social safety net is so absolutely necessary. Some people are going to spend their entire lives needing help and support, and it should be available.
There is so much information, but very little engagement. It is important to engage people on a profound level, when they are young, or they can just sort of float through the sea of disengaged information.
It's not just a lack of education, it's a lack of potential resulting in a failure to overcome the threshold to what we would call "common knowledge" nowadays. I'm pretty sure because these people are also found in rich countries with perfectly capable educational systems. It's the brain prioritizing within it's own capacity.
This and people now make exceptions for people not having common sense I'm only in my mid 20s and there are some people I see get just think the rules are different for them or just don't know basic rules that every person 5+ should follow and if you meet these peoples parents you will find alot of times they yell and scream till they get there way so that's what they did when raising their children but most of the time yelling and screaming at a kid won't make them do what you want so its easier to yell at the teacher , fast food worker , or other kids moms so the kid never learns the lessons they need because as the teacher or anyone else it's easier just to ignore that kid and parent then try to deal with them