Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Adults Who Are Married, What Small Things You Do Make Your Marriage Stronger?” (30 Answers)
Interview
Relationships aren’t a one-and-done kind of thing. They’re almost like living, breathing things that require constant care, affection, and attention. The more proactive you are in its upkeep, the more it’ll thrive. However, some folks might feel too exhausted, overwhelmed, or cynical to know where they could start to improve their romantic relationships. The key is to start small.
Inspired by user u/Dani0873, the members of the r/AskReddit online community revealed some of the small things they do to make their marriages stronger. Scroll down for some wholesomeness, and upvote the advice you thought was the most helpful. Meanwhile, we’ll be taking some notes…
We got in touch with the author of the viral thread, redditor u/Dani0873. They were kind enough to answer our questions and share their perspective on relationships. Read on for Bored Panda's interview with them.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Do the chores. Seriously.
All the love notes and cuddles don't mean s**t if you leave your dishes by the sink.
Panda Kicki 1 year ago
Hear, hear! I did a experient and didnt put away some food my spouse left at his seat at the table. Two weeks later it almost walked away by itself. You are not in cuddlemode when dealing with an adult baby.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
For sure. And do things because they need to be done, not because someone asked you to do it. If the only time you do something is because your partner asked you to, they are still carrying the mental load.
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
If you both do significantly more than your fair share of the boring bits, nearly everything will get done. And, remember to thank your S.O. for doing their share. Thanks are oil for a relationship
Blondie23 1 year ago
Also, do the chores and don't keep score or brag about it or look for thank yous. My hubby and I both clean and cook and take care of the kids... we just do it. We don't ask for praise. I give him praise and he returns it but we don't seek it out. We just live life together!
Wysteria_Rose 1 year ago
I have days where I come home and find that my husband has cleaned the kitchen; dishes unloaded and reloaded in the washer, counters wiped down, and sink empty. It makes me want to cry b/c I am usually dreading coming home and doing it after having cooked the dinner before and needing to cook dinner again.
Deborah B 1 year ago
If your spouse is saying you aren't pulling your weight, show initiative and don't put the mental labour on them or make them the task master. Initiate a discussion where you set up a chore chart for both of you, propose doing the chores together, or setting a "Chore time" where you both blitz the place for half an hour. Being the one in charge of making sure the housework gets done is an invisible burden that can create a great deal of strain and resentment you may not even be aware of.
There are many different reasons why married couples decide to get divorced. Time goes by, people and circumstances change, and they sometimes fall out of love or drift apart. Other times, spending a lot of time together can show you that the person you married is very different from the initial impression they gave you.
According to Forbes, the biggest factor for couples getting a divorce is a lack of family support. 43% of respondents listed this as their biggest reason for breaking up during a Forbes Advisor survey of divorcees. The second biggest reason was infidelity, with 34% of respondents mentioning it.
RELATED:
#2
Solve problems don't win fights.
Andrew Keir 1 year ago
Yes, fights are like wars - there are minor losses and major losses, but no wins
Load More Replies... Deborah B 1 year ago
It's "us against the problem" even if that means reframing: "you never put the loo seat down/you constantly nag about putting the seat down" as "We have different expectations of minimum needs and standards for the bathroom. Having the seat left up causes one of us mental distress, and can cause discomfort/risk of injury. Being reminded to put it down makes one of us feel like they're being dictated to by a nagging parent. How can we as a team change how we organise bathroom duties so that one person doesn't "fall in" in the night, or feel disrespected because the loo seat is left up, without making the other person feel like they're being nagged?"
Jack Burton 1 year ago
My wife always wants to solve problems and so we fight. I guess we are f****d... 😵
Jaya 1 year ago
There's a philosophy that says that the outcome of a negotiation/conflict is only positive if both people feel respected and both people feel okay about the outcome afterwards. So your tactic shouldn't be "how can I get everything I want out of this negotiation?" but "how can I get what I need ánd how can I give the other person what they need?" There are often multiple solutions to a problem, if you work together, and can think outside the box.
#3
We like each other. And act like it. A lot of couples seem to fall into a pattern of casual sniping and put-downs, which is uncomfortable to be around and I think erodes the relationship.
Michael Largey 1 year ago
I don't zing my wife in front of other people. Public beatings are so humiliating.
KariAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇵🇸🇩🇿 1 year ago
This is so important. I married very quickly to a man i really liked. The love came after but the respect and friendship was first. Now I'm not saying my situation works for everyone but at least be friends with each other.
Kiersti Cunningham 1 year ago
Fifteen years and my Husband is still my favorite person in my life!
Ranger Kanootsen 1 year ago
I mean, my boyfriend and I say snarky comments to each other all the time and if anything it makes our love stronger.
Auntriarch 1 year ago
Banter is good, as long as you both feel the same about it though. It signifies that you understand eachother
Load More Replies...
Other major factors contributing to divorce include a lack of compatibility, lack of intimacy, and too much conflict (31% of survey respondents mentioned these), as well as financial stress (24%), lack of commitment (23%), and parenting differences (20%).
Other factors included marrying too young (10%), having opposing values (6%), substance abuse (3%), domestic violence (3%), and pursuing different lifestyles (1%).
#4
My wife who is 28 told me this past weekend that growing up she never did an Easter egg hunt, so she's about to come home from work to an Easter egg hunt in the house. (Fake plastic eggs). I think doing fun things like this helps build our marriage further. I love her to pieces.
Nina 1 year ago
Most plastic eggs can be filled with treats or other things, maybe even 3 or 4 chocolate eggs (win!).
Load More Replies...
Display_Name 1 year ago
My SO told me he never had a birthday party. I threw him a suprise birthday party!
Zedrapazia 1 year ago
This is adorable, I should do that with my fiance too! But with chocolate eggs like what Sue suggested, he loves sweets
#5
Every day we lay down and hold each other tight for 5 minutes. No talking, no kissing or anything else. We both believe intimacy is crucial to a relationship and it can be as simple as laying down and holding each other tight for 5 minutes every day.
Bobert Robertson 1 year ago
Not related but does anyone even read the "articles" between each of the different posts in these lists?
WindySwede 1 year ago
Sorry, never.. well, I'm not here for the 'articles'...
Load More Replies...
Flora Porter 1 year ago
Feeling very grumpy about BP and language today so I'm going to indulge myself and point out that in fact you LIE down. 'To lay' is transitive ('lay an egg') or the past tense of 'to lie' ('we lay down and slept').
QueenKittyCat 1 year ago
This is what I'm looking forward to. Whether I've had a bad day or not.
#6
Chores, nothing makes me feel more like I have an equal partner than facing the daily burdens together.
So pick up after yourself, clean the litter box when it's your turn, wipe down the table after you're done eating, make the bed if you wake up later than me, do the laundry when it's needed without waiting for me to tell you, and for heaven's sake PLEASE DON'T WAIT UNTIL I HAVE TO ASK (the mental load is real people, please look it up).
Display_Name 1 year ago
We live in a "whoever sees it first" mentality. He's at home more than I am so he does majority of it. When I am home I will at least throw the laundry in the washer/dryer. If I cook, I clean up after myself everytime.
Sven Horlemann 1 year ago
Yep, we are 2 adults, each one does his part. I never cooked (no interest), but I do a million other things that need be done. At the end of the day, it feels good for both of us. It does not matter who did what. It is also a nice way to say 'thank you'. Because you invest in each other. Works 33 years for us.
According to redditor u/Dani0873, who started the viral discussion on r/AskReddit, trust is what lies at the core of truly strong relationships.
"I think it’s the pre-requirement to a healthy and long relationship," the OP explained that it is absolutely fundamental.
We were interested in getting their opinion on what someone else might do to strengthen their relationship if it's currently falling apart. For the author of the thread, communication plays a vital role here.
#7
Assume positive intent. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of assuming someone did something intentionally to hurt you. 9 times out of 10 for us it’s a simple mistake/lapse in judgement. If it’s a serious issue/problem then talk it out and explain why it happened, how to not have it happen in the future.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
This one is really, really important. Especially for those of us with trauma in past relationships. It is far too easy to think your partner has it out for you. And it is extremely painful when wrong assumptions and accusations come flying at you out of nowhere.
New Everywhere 1 year ago
This, this and this!! And don't let your pride make you think you're always right either
Load More Replies...
#8
Be excited about what they find exciting. He LOVES birds, ducks especially. We live on a lake, so he will see them in the water, and point them out. I never really cared, but looking out the window when he is like, 'Oooh, that's a canvas back!' is not hard, and he finds more excitement in my acknowledgment.
I can now tell what some of them are as they fly by when we are in the car, and his enjoyment is childlike (in a good way) and contagious. And now my house is decorated with (nice) waterfowl paintings. I would never have picked them when I was single, but he lives them, and at least it's a theme.
The Doom Song 1 year ago
My partner is a magic the gathering fan. I have no idea about what half the cards are supposed to do but he gets exited when I ask if I can open some of the booster packs.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 1 year ago
You can tell him that an OG Magic: The Gathering player on Bored Panda (me) told you this tragic tale of woe: When I was a kid, I had tons of M:tG cards, including a Shivan Dragon and a Black Lotus. One day my mom decided to punish me (I don't even remember what I did wrong) by putting my entire collection into the kitchen sink and running water over the cards, then shoving the wet cards into the garbage disposal. If I still had just ONE of those two cards today, they'd be worth thousands XD I played with the cards in my decks, so it's not like they were in mint condition, but they're still super-valuable today even if they aren't mint. It's been literally 31 years since that happened and I still haven't forgiven my mother XD
Load More Replies...
Jayjay 1 year ago
Shared fun is double the fun! My neighbour and I love birds, started to hang up little bird's breeding nests, and now the entire block is full of bird feed and nests :). His wife and I love flowering plants, and you can guess: the entire street is full of flowers, and bees and butterflies. Being excited and curious about what the people around you make tick opens up your own world. Love the snowball effect.
DrBronxx 1 year ago
This is really great. An additional/alternative is to just be encouraging regarding your spouse’s interests. I love golf, but my wife has no interest. I make sure that I don’t make her a golf widow, so I play sparingly. But every so often she’ll say “you should go play some golf; I think you need it.” Similarly, I’ll encourage her in her interests, like flower arrangement, or just hanging out with her friends, which she doesn’t get to do much anymore.
Display_Name 1 year ago
I show interest and excitement in things he enjoys. He needs to work on sharing that with the things I enjoy. That's my only pet peeve.
#9
- We always say thank you and show gratitude, even for the small things that are expected.
- We never involve anyone else in our relationship, no parents, no friends.
- We often ask each other questions like “how are you feeling?” or “how did you sleep?”.
- We do most things together, even the meaningless things like going to get the mail and going to the grocery store.
- We share our hobbies. We have all the same hobbies and it’s so much fun!
- We always show each other casual small acts of affection. Random kiss, random hug, random butt slap.
JoNo 1 year ago (edited)
I believe it's important for a couple to have separate hobbies. Yes, some joint ones are great, but continuing with a cherished hobby or starting a new one when something comes along, allows each other to pursue what they enjoy doing and to be an individual. How does a couple find joint hobbies? What if they can't? Do both people have to give up their own hobbies when they marry? My partner likes mountain biking; it is something I have no interest in, but I'm happy to be the encourager. Would he want to do scrap-booking with me? No way, however, he's happy to look at the finished result. "Doing most things together" makes me shudder. It's okay to do those "meaningless" things separately. I get the feeling this person thinks being together is what makes a strong relationship and it's showing their friends/family they have that. Instead, it shows insecurity and control, IMO. It's great if you do share some hobbies and enjoy doing those "meaningless things" together, but there's a healthy balance instead of being all or none.
Mia Black 1 year ago
I disagree with the " it shows insecurity and control" part. We do most things together because we enjoy our companionship and it makes "meaningless" things like going to the mail or so much more enjoyable imo. We tend to talk more on such ways than without them. Also our shared hobbies strengthen our relationship because we experience something nice together. It's our biggest gift for another: a ticket/time/travel to enjoy and remember together. To share.
Load More Replies... Flora Porter 1 year ago
Saying sorry when you get it wrong or unintentionally hurt someone matters a lot too. No one in my family ever did and I've always found relationships difficult.
Mari 1 year ago
Yes, i am struggeling with it too. In my family we didn't learn to say sorry (exept for very big things) and now it is difficult to say sorry.
Load More Replies...
Auntriarch 1 year ago
All boxes ticked except for the hobby sharing. But we do listen and appreciate when one of us is talking about it. You'd be amazed how much Mr Auntriarch knows about crochet
Jaya 1 year ago
I think it's healthy to talk to friends about your relationship. It's important to be able to vent to other people sometimes, or to get some input from an outsider. Relationships can hit hard spots, and that can be very tough, it's good to have someone to talk to. Also, not being allowed to tell your problems to other people, is what keeps victims in abusive relationships. You do have to make sure though that you either only tell friends who never meet your partner anyway, or that you also share the good stuff and give a realistic image of the problem instead of over-exaggerated, so your friend doesn't get an unrealistically negative image of your partner, because that may cause problems. And certain topics shouldn't be shared of course. But there's also things that you should absolutely share with someone: if your partner abuses you (physically, emotionally or financially), you really have to talk to someone about that.
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Surprising my wife with a random hug out of nowhere is a moment of pure bliss and joy.
"I’d say talk to your partner," u/Dani0873 told Bored Panda.
“Keeping secrets or requests to yourself will only make you resentful, and that kills any relationship. If you’re scared to talk because you fear the consequences, then, IMO, you’re lacking trust,” they said.
The redditor told us that they weren't expecting their question to get so much attention on the internet. "I asked this question because, while conversing with my girlfriend, we were guessing what other couples do to improve the quality of their relationship."
They added that they hope that everyone in the comments section of their thread has a “healthy, happy, and long marriage.”
#10
30 years together and we still really like each other. This wouldn’t work for everyone, but honestly our main goal is to make each other laugh.
We both work on making sure the other person feels appreciated. My husband makes dinner every night and I thank him for it every night, usually mentioning something in particular—“Whatever you did to this chicken recipe was great. It was delicious.” We regularly ask each other things like “Is there something you need from me that you’re not getting from me?”
Also, and I’m not gonna lie, after spending time with other couples, we usually decide on the way home that we are nicer to each other and that we have more fun and then feel very smug.
Bamamom2boys 1 year ago
Married 27 years; I can say laughter is part of the glue that holds us together.
Colt Winkler 1 year ago
smug is up on the list of my favourite words, like dank, and supercalifragalisticexbyhaladocios
whaaaaaaaaaa 1 year ago
Oh dear. What does supercalifragalisticexbyhaladocios mean?
Load More Replies...
#11
Grab each other’s butts. When you are mad… SAY IT! Stop holding it in and resenting the other person. FORGIVENESS. This app is so quick to tell people to leave or divorce. Relationships are hard and people aren’t perfect. Love the person for who they are not who you think they should be.
KariAdoresHerKats🇮🇪🇵🇸🇩🇿 1 year ago
People carry too much resentment. Argue, fight whatever you want to call it, sort it out before you sleep and wake up to a new day with no residual anger or urge to bring it back up. This type of rubbish ruins a relationship
Bobert Robertson 1 year ago
Different when it's your wife and a random woman you don't know. So long as your wife is ok with it. You must have a boring relationship, if you have one
Load More Replies... #12
Flirt. A lot. I never want my spouse to feel unattractive or like he doesn’t deserve attention, especially as we get older or have been together for longer. Even if it’s not always meant in a “let’s have sex now” way, it always gets a giggle and it makes him feel good about himself, especially when I flirt with him in public lol. Even when went through a rough patch I never stopped hitting him with a “how you doin”.
And don’t be afraid to act like you like each other in front of other people, it isn’t cool to only compliment or be affectionate with your spouse behind closed doors.
SirWriteALot 1 year ago
We like to use inappropriate jokes whenever it fits ... "you squirted in my eye" when we're cleaning windows or "let me in the back" when she's buzzing me in :-)
Isabella 1 year ago
Aging is normal and we can not be in shape like in our 20s or 30s, but what about when your SO only indulge himself, using his age and as an excuse for being lazy, for not being eager to do anything to adapt his life to this "older" age, to challenge himself, to make himself better, or at least not to get worse? When instead of encouraging me, he is only constant reminding me that I am not young anymore and no matter what I try I will be worse and worse?
ManuelQue 1 year ago
Suggest counselling for you both. If he won't go, go by yourself. JMO - he sounds depressed.
Load More Replies...In our experience, the things that truly make relationships work are honesty, respect, and playfulness. When there’s transparency and trust, you can both be on the same page. When there’s mutual respect, you feel heard and understood, so the connection between the both of you is genuine. And when there’s playfulness, there’s hardly any room for routine or boredom!
In short, the more effort you put into making your relationship fun and loving, the more you’ll see the results. When your support and affection are genuine, it really shows.
#13
Being best friends was helpful. You can literally just hang out and enjoy each others company. Even with three teenagers, we find time to just hang out with each other. You'll talk about the kids and work inevitable, but you're also just spending time together. That being said...you also need to spend time apart. Girls night out. Guys golf trip. It's learning to balance. If someone is trying to unbalance it, then you need to talk about that right away.
nomnomborkbork 1 year ago
When "love" feels less intense because of other stressors, "like" is absolutely essential.
Trophy Husband 1 year ago
Funny, I always say that love never changes, but you can have times you dont like each other. Flights are okay if you make up and learn to be better partners
Load More Replies... #14
Listening to my wife. Really listening.
#15
Whenever my partner mentions ANYTHING of interest, whether it is innocuous or an aside, something big or small, I add it to a private list I have. So whenever an event comes up (birthday, holiday, etc), I have a list of things that I know she would enjoy getting. This works for big gifts, small gifts, and everything in between. So if we have a gift budget of say $100, I can either get her 1 item for $100 or multiple items adding up to $100. Every time she is surprised and pleased with the gift(s). She was talking about a brand of *pencil* months ago that she loved and I got her a pack for valentines day + a book she has been wanting and she was elated.
That being said, it does require that you and your partner are actually attracted to each other, have similar values, and share at least some interests. It’s very difficult to maintain a deep relationship with someone whom you only have superficialities in common with.
What do you do to keep your relationships with your partners strong, dear Pandas? How do you show your affection and provide support every day? How do your partners show that they care about you, too? If you feel up for sharing your experiences, don't be shy and write your thoughts in the comments.
#16
A couple should be a team, not opposing competitors! I hate any relationship advice that tells you how to 'game' your SO or the relationship.
Deborah B 1 year ago
Unless you decide together to make something a competition, especially that chore you both hate: eg: "bet I can fold more laundry than you before we get these two baskets empty." Then you race, and you get it done faster, and it's more fun.
Julius Zuke 1 year ago
Teamwork is everything in a marriage, even down to being a team with their money. We live very comfortably because we have always been on the same financial page. We've never had a lot of money, but we have a good life because of financial teamwork.
#17
Little gifts! My husband and I are like crows lol, if I find something small and shiny it goes to my husband, if he finds a neat rock it goes to me lol. It's just one of those random little things that shows they're thinking of you at sometimes the most unexpected times and it def always makes me feel more connected to my husband to both present and be presented with tiny knickknacks.
#18
Small favors. I HATED getting a sibling something (like a drink) because it seemed they would purposely wait until I got up to ask for it.
BUT for my husband and I, I never say no, and neither does he. And it's always appreciated. He will even get up and refill my drink if he sees it getting low without me asking. And I really appreciate this little thoughtfulness.
nomnomborkbork 1 year ago
Thoughtfulness in tiny gestures means when major thoughtfulness is needed, it will doubtless be there.
#19
Love notes tucked away in lunch boxes.
Georgie Montague 1 year ago
My hubby made my lunch and put a love note in every day for 12 years, till I retired.
Sweet Taurus 1 year ago
Every time I make his sammich I write a note, something to make him smile or draw a funny picture for him. Often he leaves me notes by the coffee pot in the morning for me to find when it’s time for me to be up. It’s the little things that make a difference towards the bigger things.
#20
A lot of cuddles. Whenever we're in bed or on the couch we'll find the time to snuggle.
Occasionally stopping to just admire one another. Being very open about our wants/needs/desires, even if they seem weird.
Having little in-jokes. I have so many memories from when we've sat together, one of us playing Elden Ring and the other backseat driving, both providing commentary. It's always fun.
Salomon 1 year ago
As much as I would like to agree, this doesn't work living with a partner who doesn't like cuddles (yer they exist). Although I often do the ninja ambush cuddle.
Gen X Feral 1 year ago
If they really care about you they can suffer through the horror of cuddles for your emotional well-being on a regular basis. Kindness is free, divorce lawyers aren't. We all have to do things we don't particularly enjoy but are necessary.
Load More Replies... Julius Zuke 1 year ago
The in-jokes are priceless! Oh, the things we can never tell our grandchildren!
Display_Name 1 year ago
We made a mistake of getting one of those " love seats" with a console in the middle and it reclines. I looked at him one day while watching a movie and told him, "I don't feel much love with the seat."
#21
I’m divorced but I’ll tell you something I did wrong and that’s kind of the same thing right? Anyway I never let my wife verbally know how much I appreciated her I took her out and got her gifts but I just never outright told her “hey I appreciate you and everything you do” so idk if that helps but.
BoredPossum 1 year ago
Sharing a love language is important. But to be fair, your ex could have tried learning yours as well. It takes two to tango.
Matthew Barabas 1 year ago
your exwife clearly forgot that your actions matter more than your words.
#22
Ask your spouse about their day when they get home every single day. Even if you’re not in the mood and aren’t 100% into the conversation. You’d be surprised (myself anyways) how much I retain even if I’m not 100% mentally engaged.
realenancy170 1 year ago
Having a good conversation about anything is important. It keeps you communicating and gives you a chance to find out how they are feeling in general. We try to cook together and have discussions over dinner nearly every night.
Hey! 1 year ago
When the kids were at home, we used to go in our bedroom for 10 minutes. We'd put the timer so they would know when our time is up. One time my daughter answered the phone and the guy wanted to talk to me "sorry they are both in the bedroom and we're not supposed to bother them, can you call later?". LOL.
#23
We don’t hold mistakes against each other. It’s not conducive to a lasting and happy marriage.
Julius Zuke 1 year ago
I chased my wife for two years before she finally said yes to my marriage proposal, so I can never fault her for anything.
#24
Humor and deep conversations about life.
Montanavanna 1 year ago
On this note..discovering new ideas to get excited about and research together.
#25
Know eachother's strengths and weaknesses... and be a great team. My wife loves to cook but hates the prep and clean-up... So I help with the prep and clean up after we're done. Also... Don't fight about stupid s**t, not worth the bad feelings. Also... What ever the fight might be about, don't go to bed angry. Make up before you wake up.
The Alchemist 1 year ago
My partner and I have definitely gone to bed angry. It gives us time to cool and reset versus just being tired and cranky
Lyoness 1 year ago
Absolutely. It doesn't work for everyone but for us it's not worth the risk of saying something you don't mean and can't take back.
Load More Replies... The Doom Song 1 year ago
My partner likes to cook and I like to be the "assistant" He even tells people I'm his "sous chef"
#26
So many things…
We invest in each others love languages (mine is words of affirmation and his is quality time together)
We have routines that emphasize our commitment (e.g. when we take off our wedding rings to exercise, the other person has to put the ring back on for you; we give each other a big good morning hug every day)
We put each other first and always have a unified front in public. It’s us versus the problem; never him versus me
We are each other’s safe space. There’s nothing I can’t share with him and vice versa. I’m never ashamed to be vulnerable in front of him because we never weaponize or make fun of those vulnerabilities
We continue to date each other. Trivia night, dinner outings, concerts, etc. I dress up for him and vice versa when the occasion warrants it
We laugh a lot together. We laugh at the tough situations. We always laugh together when something breaks or doesn’t go our way. Our first reaction is always humor
We break down communication barriers quickly when something didn’t go as planned and something went wrong as a result
We ALWAYS assume positive intent when confronting the other with an issue
We are hugely transparent. Joint calendar, joint email; our phone passwords are the same; no secrets unless we say there’s a surprise being planned then we respect privacy as needed.
Vanessa Gonzales 1 year ago
Joint email would be a hard no for me. I'm fine having *a* joint email to use for mutual business (e.g. kid's school) but I have the right to communicate with my family and friends in private. Preventing someone from doing that creates an environment where abuse can happen.
Anonymouse 1 year ago
+1 for love languages. Amazing how many friends had not realized they were discounting their partners attempts to show love, because they were not in sync...
S P 1 year ago
Unified front... in parenting we align with each other in front of the kids, and save discussions and disagreements about punishments/plans/etc for when we are alone. We want to provide consistency for the kids by not splitting our taking sides, and to allow each other to "save face" by owning any modifications what they said earlier.
Julius Zuke 1 year ago
We wish you well. Sounds like our own marriage. 47 years and counting...
#27
I make her laugh almost every day.
nomnomborkbork 1 year ago
Also one of my husband's goals. And mine too--nothing makes me happier than hearing him burst out laughing at something I've said or done.
#28
There are a lot of small things: compliment her, get her treats and sweets when she is feeling down, or on her period, hug her, cuddle every night, etc.
#29
I change diapers, and she feeds. I sing Elvis and she gives massages. I bring home happy lemon about twice a week, and she brings home a snack. It's really just being thoughtful of each other throughout each day and helping out wherever we can. I guess it's really I'm never afraid to ask her "How can I help?" And she's always willing to ask me if I'm doing okay.
What do you think ?
The Doom Song 1 year ago
Communication is so important. A good partnership is all about great communication
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Our 7th anniversary is coming up and I'm absolutely excited to live my life with my wife. My piece of advice: always apologize. Every fight, the other person isn't mad for zero reason at all. I understand if you're in a toxic relationship this isn't always true. But in a healthy marriage, you can find something to take ownership of. I try to remember this when I'm on the defensive and I think I'm 100% right. We could have been screaming 2 seconds ago, but this thought softens me and brings down the temperature so we can actually communicate. And wouldn't you know, sometimes when I dig into it, I was a lot more in the wrong than I thought I was.
Ola Polowczyk 1 year ago
Remember your partner is not a mind reader. If you want / need something, vocalize it.
James Frail 1 year ago
"Adults who are married" Uh, excuse me? As opposed to children who are married?
ShayXie 1 year ago
We talk a lottttttt :) when we see weird situations or tense moments happening on TV or to other people, we talk about how we would react in that situation. How we would each handle it, what kind of support we would need from the other, how our individual strengths and weaknesses would come into play etc etc. It's pretty cool whenever one of those moments actually happens in real life because we've already talked it through and it feels like we’ve got a gameplan already.
Robert Chadis 1 year ago
Be patiently aware that everyone, including oneself, is constantly influenced by long-past, childhood, etc., experiences, training by parents, past relationships, current conflicts at job, so maintain mature attitude, and be open and interested humbly to helpfully discuss such matters---so, accept differences as to values/politics...keep aware of the prime importance of the relationship itself.
KimB 1 year ago
My two cents (24 yrs married) is spend time together when you're both sick. We had influenza A at the same time and let me tell you that you know you truly love your spouse when you get your high fever self out of bed to go make them soup and ginger ale. He got better faster than I did so he then took care of me got me meds and food, ect. It definitely brought us closer.
Elizabeth Lloyd 1 year ago
Been married for 28 years. My advice 1. Listen and don't dismiss the other person's feelings even if you disagree 2.Whoever gets home first makes sure you welcome the other person home with a hug. You don't have to talk just a hug. And 3. Most importantly always recognise that neither of you are perfect. Apologise when you're wrong , realise that when the other one hurts you it's almost always going to be a mistake they aren't out to get you and NEVER EVER keep a record of wrongs. Move on and forgive.
Thom Serveaux 1 year ago
What a sweet article, and I love the comments. My parents' marriage was horrible so it's good to get some positive advice for mine.
The Doom Song 1 year ago
Communication is so important. A good partnership is all about great communication
ConstantlyJon 1 year ago
Our 7th anniversary is coming up and I'm absolutely excited to live my life with my wife. My piece of advice: always apologize. Every fight, the other person isn't mad for zero reason at all. I understand if you're in a toxic relationship this isn't always true. But in a healthy marriage, you can find something to take ownership of. I try to remember this when I'm on the defensive and I think I'm 100% right. We could have been screaming 2 seconds ago, but this thought softens me and brings down the temperature so we can actually communicate. And wouldn't you know, sometimes when I dig into it, I was a lot more in the wrong than I thought I was.
Ola Polowczyk 1 year ago
Remember your partner is not a mind reader. If you want / need something, vocalize it.
James Frail 1 year ago
"Adults who are married" Uh, excuse me? As opposed to children who are married?
ShayXie 1 year ago
We talk a lottttttt :) when we see weird situations or tense moments happening on TV or to other people, we talk about how we would react in that situation. How we would each handle it, what kind of support we would need from the other, how our individual strengths and weaknesses would come into play etc etc. It's pretty cool whenever one of those moments actually happens in real life because we've already talked it through and it feels like we’ve got a gameplan already.
Robert Chadis 1 year ago
Be patiently aware that everyone, including oneself, is constantly influenced by long-past, childhood, etc., experiences, training by parents, past relationships, current conflicts at job, so maintain mature attitude, and be open and interested humbly to helpfully discuss such matters---so, accept differences as to values/politics...keep aware of the prime importance of the relationship itself.
KimB 1 year ago
My two cents (24 yrs married) is spend time together when you're both sick. We had influenza A at the same time and let me tell you that you know you truly love your spouse when you get your high fever self out of bed to go make them soup and ginger ale. He got better faster than I did so he then took care of me got me meds and food, ect. It definitely brought us closer.
Elizabeth Lloyd 1 year ago
Been married for 28 years. My advice 1. Listen and don't dismiss the other person's feelings even if you disagree 2.Whoever gets home first makes sure you welcome the other person home with a hug. You don't have to talk just a hug. And 3. Most importantly always recognise that neither of you are perfect. Apologise when you're wrong , realise that when the other one hurts you it's almost always going to be a mistake they aren't out to get you and NEVER EVER keep a record of wrongs. Move on and forgive.
Thom Serveaux 1 year ago
What a sweet article, and I love the comments. My parents' marriage was horrible so it's good to get some positive advice for mine.
You May Like Wife Reluctantly Agrees To Open Up Marriage, Watches As Her Husband Loses His Mind Man Cancels Wedding After Fiancée Asks For Open Relationship Inspired By Her Friends Wife Pressures Husband Into Open Marriage, Then Panics When He Starts Seeing Someone Too
Indrė Lukošiūtė
Jonas Žvilius
Justinas Keturka
Related on Bored Panda
