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People Are Cracking Up At These 31 Funny Lies Service Workers Said To Customers In Uncomfortable Situations
There are two types of people in the world: the ones that have worked in the service industry and the ones that have approached the cash register only from the customer’s side. The latter will never understand the struggles service workers have to deal with every day, even if most of those struggles have to do with the said customers.
And sometimes for their own mental health, service workers have to come up with little lies and hacks that help not upset customers and make them more lenient towards them. For example, Twitter user @makaylathinks shared that she once worked with a person who told the customers it was their first day when they had messed up.
Image credits: makaylathinks
In response to this tweet, people were sharing their own stories of when they lied to customers and these are just hilarious. Do you have experience working in retail? What do you think of this strategy of telling little lies to customers to avoid confrontation? Have you ever told a lie to a customer to not admit that you made a mistake? Share your stories in the comments and upvote the lies that you liked the most!
More info: Twitter
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Night Owl 4 years ago
You're telling me it's not bigger on the inside like in Doctor Who and you can't create things out of thin air in there either? Aww :(
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Night Owl 4 years ago (edited)
I sometimes (very rarely) ask if there's a specific thing maybe in the back and sometimes they say so "No" without going to check the back stock room and I just say "OK, thanks" and move on because I assume they're either too busy or know without having to check that they don't have it at the moment
Felix Feline 4 years ago
I used to do that. We all did. And in the shoe department we did that to anyone who was rude. "Nope". "What about in this other color?" And it started the process again. I never had so many breaks.
Hotdogking 4 years ago (edited)
Great, now I won’t be able to use it because you blabbed (I hope you can tell I’m joking)
Elizabeth Riegert 4 years ago
Aw dang, too bad I haven't had any moments like this lately! My store is closing in 3 weeks so we've completely cleaned out our grocery back room. Not too hard really, we're a little smaller than the average Kroger. Actually somebody was looking for skim milk this morning and I did get to tell them it'd be a little while since the milk delivery had LITERALLY just arrived!
Lisa-Marie Dhondt 4 years ago
And even if we do have it, if you’re an ass you are not getting it.
It seems that the situation Makayla tweeted is very relatable, as more than 800k people liked it and most of the comments were applauding the coworker for such a genius idea, or people were saying that they did exactly the same thing and it always has worked like a charm.
But lying about being new isn’t the only lie service workers say. Twitter users let others in on many secrets they have used to try to get out of situations they don’t want to be in with customers, or if they have to cover up something they did wrong.
So these tips and little lies are tried and proved to work. If you work in the service industry, maybe they could help you once in a while when you’re having a bad day.
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#2
Just a girl with a brain 4 years ago
This is introverted kids when they say their parents won’t let them when they don’t wanna hang out with someone
Allan Breum 4 years ago
Well, she is her own boss then, so technically she was telling the truth.
moeless 4 years ago
I mostly stumbled through the first US citizenship ceremony I conducted and probably forgot some things. At the end I told the audience it was my first time. Huge applause I would have never gotten without the explanation. Plus, they were now US citizens regardless of my failings.
Ryan Bitzer 4 years ago
I would totally do this too if I were an owner of an establishment for the service industry!
Tim Haight 4 years ago
Sounds like the line Freddy Prinze would say in Chico and the Man (Its not my job man)
Calypso poet 4 years ago
People who claim to know the owner are amazingly stupid. I worked for a place that the owner was wonderful because she trusted her managers. She would be like, "I'm just the owner, they run this store!" Unfortunately she retired and turned it over to her son who may have had a degree in business but had no clue on how to run a business or deal with people. They had to sell the business after he ran a couple stores into the ground.
#3
Fidgets McGee 4 years ago
I run my own practice and I still quote "clinic policy" for touchy situations I wrote the policy 😅. Rules are rules...
Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
This method is actually a great defence mechanism against customers who could become problematic, the powers that be won't allow it, it's against policy "I'LL get in trouble if I do that/allow that, you wouldn't want to get me in trouble would you"
Marcellus the Third 4 years ago
Just like every govt instance blames 'Health & Safety' when they don't want or can't afford.
Paradise 4 years ago
We all are just following policies put forth by someone else unless we are the owner. I always tell my staff when I do something my way (within confines of the rules) so they know it's a stylistic choice vs a set rule, and otherwise I refer to the set of rules we have to follow, so they know I'm not the bad guy myself.
Elizabeth Riegert 4 years ago
We legit got to do this yesterday! Some guy was being a rude jerk about our money order policy being cash only for purchase - which has been this way for over a decade mind you! He's all 'I'm gonna call corporate'. We're all like sure bitch, go for it! We literally close our doors 3 weeks from today, what do these people think we're going to do, cave to their demands when we're following our rules?
#4
Vicky Z 4 years ago
*Complains about surgery preparation* "sorry m'am it's my first day at work" 😱😱😱😱😱😱
Robert Hughes 4 years ago
Or even better. Patient: "Im nervous about the surgery." Doctor: "Me too."
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Robert T 4 years ago
For good reason. I was convinced to allow a trainee nurse to stick a canula in the back of my hand. I don't know what she hit but my hand swelled up like a balloon. So yes, please convince me that you know what you are doing!
Hiker Chick 4 years ago
I had a few needlesiticks last year by nurses that I swear it was their first time sticking an IV in an actual human. Quite painful!
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CatFist 4 years ago
"Okay, you're going to start feeling sleepy. Everything's going to be fine... Now, let's see if I can do it right this time."
J. F. 4 years ago
Don't worry, I watched a YT tutorial like 10 minutes ago
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Misha Writer 4 years ago
My mom broke her ankle a few years ago and went to the ER and the doc we got kept saying "I'm the new guy." Like, dude. I don't care if you're the new guy, but I don't want to know it when you're treating my mother.\
Jaybird3939 4 years ago
I worked for a dr. who did in-office surgery. The nurse who was assisting him would say "oops" when she dropped something. I guess he got all over her about that.
Okasan Willis 4 years ago
And if an emergency happens stay calm outside as you can freak out later
Kendra Miller 4 years ago
At least a new doctor will have the latest training and won't be cocky from having done it a 1000 times and forget a step.
Looking from the outside customer service doesn't appear that hard. Most often, it doesn’t require a degree or specific qualifications, which is why so many young people work in this industry. You can learn everything on the go and there are plenty of job offers.
According to Pew Research Center, 107.8 million people in the United States (71% of all nonfarm payroll employees) worked in private service-providing industries, which include trade, transportation and utilities (27.8 million workers), followed by education and health services (24.3 million), professional and business services (21.5 million), and leisure and hospitality (16.7 million).
#5
Vicky Z 4 years ago
For tips i suppose! That's kinda sad she needed to do that cause she was underpaid
Nicola Dimigen 4 years ago
Good too, she would have gotten a lot of tips, and waiters don't earn that much, other from tips.
Elizabeth Elliot 4 years ago
So she gets rewarded for being a liar while her honest co-workers don't? Classy.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Hahahaha, But it was your birthday the last time I was here 5 weeks ago.
#6
Night Owl 4 years ago
"What's the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything?" "42" "Wrong. It's "idk the manager just does it that way"."
Nadine Debard 4 years ago
I don't dare to upvote as you have 42 upvotes at the time I'm writing... But I upvote in my heart, you intergalactic hitchhiker...
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Rebecca O’Donnell 4 years ago
I don’t understand why somebody being diplomatic has a lack of confidence. Keeping all customers satisfied is impossible but trying to keep your business run smoothly is all about tact, consideration and a way to get along with most people.
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Daria B 4 years ago
Nevermind, the answer is in another entry. Just say they're on holidays and offer to leave a message.
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I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
My friend did that for almost five years before he got caught and told not to. He would do night stocking and only be on the floor with customers sometimes if evening hours overlapped with his shift so he hardly saw customers anyway. That's also probably why he got away with it for so long
Scott 4 years ago (edited)
When working at a major electronics retailer (blue with a big yellow sign), I had a friend who I dubbed "the new guy" because I kept forgetting his name. Even two years (and learning his name) later he was still "new guy." Edit: When I told him why I was still calling him "new guy" (something like 6 months into knowing him), he laughed about it. It turned into a moment of bonding and reminiscence for us. I mean, how human is it to forget someone's name and then go with the flow pretending, using generic terms?
#8
Jimi Laoshi 4 years ago
Hehe shhhh we should all pretend like it really happened...wow yeah great sure right so good
Even though the skills required for customer service specifically are easily learnt while on the job, probably the most challenging part is dealing with angry or dissatisfied customers. It seems that they forget that service workers are people too and that they can make mistakes even if it’s the second year they’ve been working the same job. Of course, you would expect them to be professional, but who doesn’t slip up once in a while?
#9
Vicky Z 4 years ago
And then he asks where and you have to find the country with the right time difference🤔
Ren Karlej 4 years ago
World tour and got out of the habit of changing the time?
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#10
Josh Tall 4 years ago
i used this trick on kids with fake id's....they'd memorize the birthday but not know the corresponding zodiac sign!
JitkaBlitka 4 years ago
To be fair not knowing the zodiac could just mean they don't give a crap about it. I don't know my kids zodiac signs and I really don't want to.
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Ileana Andreea Drop 3 years ago
I know the signs and dates and no, I do not work in sales or have been.
#11
Vicky Z 4 years ago
For months in my job our card machine was broken and nobody really cared that we had to deal with angry customers! So i was blaming the internet connection!! 😅😅
Felix Feline 4 years ago
Or click that button that rejects the credit card of the rude person.
Bender Bending Rodríguez 4 years ago
I may or may not have done that. Mostly may have.
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Sherrill Uliasz 4 years ago
Or when I say it's not just slow but painfully slow when it's me who is🙄
If you are looking to improve your customer service skills, there are many other tips on how to deal with angry customers that don’t include lying. For example, Business News Daily suggests these 10 tips when dealing with difficult customers: listen, build rapport through empathy, lower your voice, respond as if all of your customers are watching, know when to give in, stay calm, don’t take it personally, remember that you’re talking to a human, and if you promise a call-back, call back and let the customer know what to expect.
#12
ayupama 4 years ago
Better she changes the shirt before. Can you imagine what would happen is after 3 months nobody returns.
Load More Replies... Kiss Army 4 years ago
I worked a side job at a grocery store for a while to earn some extra cash and when I started they had a ribbon on the bottom of the name tag that said something about be patient, I'm new... after about a month a coworker told me I could take it off and just wear the name tag, I was like no way... I kept that thing on there until the day I quit!
If you are looking to improve your customer service skills, there are many other tips on how to deal with angry customers that don’t include lying. For example, Business News Daily suggests these 10 tips when dealing with difficult customers: listen, build rapport through empathy, lower your voice, respond as if all of your customers are watching, know when to give in, stay calm, don’t take it personally, remember that you’re talking to a human, and if you promise a call-back, call back and let the customer know what to expect.
#13
Nikki Sevven 4 years ago
Everyone who speaks English is "still learning English." There are always words you've never heard before.
Bobby 4 years ago
Based on what I hear daily at my own job, I'd say most adult Americans are still learning English
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JayWantsACat 4 years ago
Kind of the reverse for me. I grewup in SoCal and look kind of latino so when I worked retail Id constantly have people ask me, in Spanish, if I spoke Spanish. I knew a bit from two years of high school Spanish and just osmosis so I'd answer "un poquito." They'd launch into not "un poquito" Spanish so I'd have to grab someone who was fluent to help them. They almost always gave me the stink eye because they thought I just didnt want to help them and i'm over here like "...but i'm half-Japanese...." lol
Hotdogking 4 years ago
Just wit until you get those people that tell you to go back where you came from. Don’t think it’ll workin your favour then
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
I'm 62 and spoke English all my life and with the way they create new words every other day, I'm gonna be learning it for the rest of eternity! LOL
Pamda Panda 4 years ago
My partner (not Caucasian) says that even though English is his first and primary language and I can't call him out in it. 😂
#14
John C 4 years ago
For some reason I just hate employer-scripted lines. Perhaps most of all, the "my pleasure" thing at Chic-Fil-A just comes off as completely disingenuous and scripted to me. I'd rather have a normal human conversation where the person says "Sure" or "You're Welcome" rather than being reminded that their every move and word has been dictated by corporate.
#15
Kiss Army 4 years ago
We found an old nameplate when we were clearing out some old boxes at our offices and we put it on a desk in an empty office. I brought in a couple of cheap picture frames and printed out some "family" pictures off the internet and other people kept adding other little touches like a coffee mug and a lunch box, etc. We started telling people they needed to talk to Ken and told them where Ken's office was... I can't tell you how many people actually went around looking for Ken and asking when he would be back, etc. This went on for several years until we hired enough staff that the office needed to be used and we had to "fire" Ken.
Pink Floydian Panda 4 years ago (edited)
"If something goes wrong at the plant, blame the guy who can't speak English. Ah, Tibor, how many times have you saved my butt?" ―Homer Simpson Of course Tibor got promoted and a sweet corner office, so there is that aspect to it as well.
#16
Calypso poet 4 years ago
A grocery store near us used to put up a sign saying something like 'please be patient I'm still in training' at the checkout lane and I would always choose that one. I am patient and understand being new and dealing with stupid customers! Figured I could be at least a few minutes of no worries.
Anna Harding 4 years ago
I worked at a sub shop for six months with a “Trainee” tag on. Another student razzed me about it but I liked it!
#17
Alex the awful German 4 years ago (edited)
I like stories that begin with "at the haunted house I worked at"
Calypso poet 4 years ago
Years ago we went to a huge popular haunted house and there were sometimes people hidden above you that you couldn't see but could hear. Someone recognized me and started messing with me, I have an unusual name, and passed the word on. So some of the 'monsters' messed with me the whole time! Never figured out who it was! It's been over 25 years.
Hannah H 4 years ago (edited)
The customers would say something like "you aren't allowed to touch me" (this is a common rule for haunted houses) to the actors in the haunted house. Then the employees would say that they don't work there (thus aren't bound by the safety rules). The customers would freak out that some random person is lurking in the haunted house.
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#18
Alethia Nyx 4 years ago
You can blame it on the kitchen to take some of the heat off you and still be super nice to them to male up for "the kitchens" mistake so they don't.
Load More Replies... John C 4 years ago (edited)
I get this - it's important for the server (the person that has the most contact with the customer and therefore does the most in representing the business) to maintain a good relationship with the customer. Same thing with nurses in the hospital - they blame us (pharmacy) all the time when in reality we delivered the drug 30 min ago. But I think it's important for the patient to have a good relationship with their nurse so I've even gone so far as to apologize to a patient for something I didn't do to reinforce the trust in that patient-nurse relationship.
Fidgets McGee 4 years ago
Hey, kitchen always got a cut from my tips so if I could make customers happy in any way, everyone benefitted $$
Stannous Flouride 4 years ago
When I was a cook I always told the servers to blame me even if it was their mistake. I was on salary, they had to earn tips. And as a nice side effect I never had to ask twice for a drink from out front.
#19
Vicky Z 4 years ago
I can pretend i can't speak my own language even if I didn't speak any other language😅😅
Black Karen 4 years ago
This is a tactic ppl use when they get in trouble with authorities or break the law or so ppl don't talk to them. "Did you just rob that bank?" ... "uhhhh no entiendo"
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
Some patients will do this hoping we'll say something thinking they don't understand and they really do.
not your average weirdo 4 years ago
This gave me an idea to speak Norwegian and pretend I can't speak English 😂
#20
Calypso poet 4 years ago
That's just bad customer service. We were always taught to be honest and say 'I don't know but I will try to find out'. This is why people buy online. Shop mom and pop, local owned if you can.
Panda-riffic 4 years ago
Agreed. I don't think people should be bragging about this kind of behavior.
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#21
Vicky Z 4 years ago
In some companies "training" lasts even 6 months so they don't have to pay you!
John C 4 years ago
Which companies? You're still employed when training - I've never seen a company expect you to do training for 6 months and not pay you.
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kasa alex 4 years ago
I would never have done this at one of my old jobs, since old men found it hilarious to say 'hello In Training, I'm Bob!'. They would also ask me if I was 'training' to be a housewife one day (I was working in a services club, clearing and waiting tables). Not funny Bob, not funny.
Cactus McCoy 4 years ago
In my job, the "training" phase until you feeel really confident is a year. Everbody knows that, so everybod feels confident in their own time. And that is always far less than a year.
#22
#23
#24
#25
Vicky Z 4 years ago (edited)
I read it three times and understood nothing! Some commas would be useful
Niffler_13 4 years ago (edited)
If the food wasn’t brought out to the customer fast enough, to avoid a complaint, they would tell the customer that the food had to be remade, because it didn't meet the restaurant's standards
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Andrea Huber-Murphy 4 years ago
As a former line cook, I can attest that servers who blame the kitchen when they forget to put the orders in are usually the worst ones on staff. There is a reason your tips suck. And it's not us.
Bob Belcher 4 years ago
Exactly. Management and the owner will want to know why food cost is increasing. Restaurant margins are usually below 5% so cooking the same meal twice is a huge no no
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Hugh Crawford 4 years ago
Feel like that would backfire... so your saying you have bad cooks at a restaurant...
#26
#27
#28
Vicky Z 4 years ago
There will always be someone to comment: don't they train you enough???😡😡😡
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Answer: no. No one prepares you to deal with that level of insanity
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#29
Yort 4 years ago
She says “I’m new” when she doesn’t know something. But once, someone asked if she had been working there for a year. She said, “No, that’s the other lady.” But she’s actually the only female employee.
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Sheila Stamey 4 years ago
I truly believe people have given over coherent written communication when not using emojis. Which isn't writing. It's pictographs.
#30
AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
same if I accidently forget to email someone back in a timely manner I'll always be like, I am so sorry it's been crazy here and had a bunch of legal calls etc to deal with. Works like a charm.
Lauren Caswell 4 years ago
My voicemail is broken. By broken, I mean I refuse to pay several dollars to access it, and cannot figure out how to get rid of it. So I call numbers back, and inform those asking for deets that I cannot access my voicemails, so they know not to leave one
#31
Natalia A 4 years ago
This is kind of sh&&% though. Someone's made the effort to come to the store.
pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
But is the shipment hundreds of boxes high and mummified in duct tape
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Katherine Boag 4 years ago
Went to a store and they scanned the barcode on the price tag and told me which stores have the item in stock :D
Jackie Porter 4 years ago
I used to work in a supermarket. The back warehouse was just a whole jumble. Various products did have a designated space but often weren't where they were supposed to be. Or were at the bottom of a huge pallet of items. It would have involved having to off load the whole pallet to do this for one item. I had other work to do and often I'd go back and say sorry the delivery hadn't arrived yet.
StrawberryParfait 4 years ago
So, you're just lazy and costing the business you work for money? And you're not embarrassed about being this shitty of an employee?
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Sasy 4 years ago (edited)
I want to fire everyone. So many of these are disgraceful, have pride in your work, try knowing stuff instead of pretending you aren't trained yet, be considerate of not only the customers but those who pay you to do a job, if you don't want to do it properly,let someone else have it. Sure some jobs suck, some bosses suck more, but you don't have to... this post made me angry. (edited because I left the R out of angry)
Small Galaxy 4 years ago
It's to avoid belligerent customers. If people treated customer service workers with basic human decency, then they wouldn't need to use these excuses to avoid being harrassed for 7.25 an hour.
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JD Samel 4 years ago
And nobody's ever got caught? I mean, if you say "sorry I am new" for 3 years straight, it seems doubtable that yoy didn't say it two or more times to the exact same person. It is true that some are rude and don't even look you in the face or simply won't remember you, but nobody at all? I think the "sorry I am new" excuse is a very short-sighted one if used this much, you will get caught and you will piss off the customer. I am a CS and always try to treat my fellow CS/servers with the utmost respect, but if you are clearly bullshitting me then I will get pissed.
John Louis 4 years ago
Does it bother anyone that these people are lying to the very customers that allow them to have a job?
Vicky Z 4 years ago
No! I'm bothered when entitled customers feel that i owe to them that i have a job and treat me like s**t! These are survival techniques! If you are nice you will not have this behaviour!
Load More Replies... pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Customers will ask if I'm being genuine. I say yes because it makes them happy and no one wants to know the truth- my feet hurt, I'm tired, and I'm having a horrible week. Please don't ask, my only options are lie or make you miserable
Bored Birgit 4 years ago
I'm really sad that workers have to use these tricks to survive their jobs and deal with customers. We all are customers nearly every day, so, please, let us treat workers with all the respect they deserve.
Craig Silberman 4 years ago
A variation of it is in there several times, but I found that saying "I wish I could do that for you, but my boss would fire me if I did" worked wonders. They're not going to understand the truth, and it sounds like I'm on their side so they stop arguing with me.
Sharnell Dural 4 years ago
Where I work we tried be nice to customers but it backfired on us. The sale starts in Wednesday and we put the new items out on Tuesday night. Wednesday customers get pissing mad in the morning. Good morning how you doing ? Do you want some coffee?
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Mad Mar 4 years ago
I worked over 30 years in retail/customer slaverery...I mean service. I will never go back. I was very good at it and with people. It's the job itself and bosses that make us hate it. Long hours, small breaks. Being forced to push club cards when people are buying a pack of gum. But I always treated customers well. It's not them (usually) that makes a job horrible. But I'll remember these posts if I ever ever ever have to go back. Lol
Sasy 4 years ago (edited)
I want to fire everyone. So many of these are disgraceful, have pride in your work, try knowing stuff instead of pretending you aren't trained yet, be considerate of not only the customers but those who pay you to do a job, if you don't want to do it properly,let someone else have it. Sure some jobs suck, some bosses suck more, but you don't have to... this post made me angry. (edited because I left the R out of angry)
Small Galaxy 4 years ago
It's to avoid belligerent customers. If people treated customer service workers with basic human decency, then they wouldn't need to use these excuses to avoid being harrassed for 7.25 an hour.
Load More Replies... JD Samel 4 years ago
And nobody's ever got caught? I mean, if you say "sorry I am new" for 3 years straight, it seems doubtable that yoy didn't say it two or more times to the exact same person. It is true that some are rude and don't even look you in the face or simply won't remember you, but nobody at all? I think the "sorry I am new" excuse is a very short-sighted one if used this much, you will get caught and you will piss off the customer. I am a CS and always try to treat my fellow CS/servers with the utmost respect, but if you are clearly bullshitting me then I will get pissed.
John Louis 4 years ago
Does it bother anyone that these people are lying to the very customers that allow them to have a job?
Vicky Z 4 years ago
No! I'm bothered when entitled customers feel that i owe to them that i have a job and treat me like s**t! These are survival techniques! If you are nice you will not have this behaviour!
Load More Replies... pusheen buttercup 4 years ago
Customers will ask if I'm being genuine. I say yes because it makes them happy and no one wants to know the truth- my feet hurt, I'm tired, and I'm having a horrible week. Please don't ask, my only options are lie or make you miserable
Bored Birgit 4 years ago
I'm really sad that workers have to use these tricks to survive their jobs and deal with customers. We all are customers nearly every day, so, please, let us treat workers with all the respect they deserve.
Craig Silberman 4 years ago
A variation of it is in there several times, but I found that saying "I wish I could do that for you, but my boss would fire me if I did" worked wonders. They're not going to understand the truth, and it sounds like I'm on their side so they stop arguing with me.
Sharnell Dural 4 years ago
Where I work we tried be nice to customers but it backfired on us. The sale starts in Wednesday and we put the new items out on Tuesday night. Wednesday customers get pissing mad in the morning. Good morning how you doing ? Do you want some coffee?
Load More Replies... Mad Mar 4 years ago
I worked over 30 years in retail/customer slaverery...I mean service. I will never go back. I was very good at it and with people. It's the job itself and bosses that make us hate it. Long hours, small breaks. Being forced to push club cards when people are buying a pack of gum. But I always treated customers well. It's not them (usually) that makes a job horrible. But I'll remember these posts if I ever ever ever have to go back. Lol
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