People Support Man For Deciding To Leave Disabled Child After His GF Broke Their Agreement
Interview With Expert
Every parent wishes their children to be happy and healthy. When that’s not the case, it often evokes overwhelming emotions, and various aspects of parenting become magnified and more complex.
Seeing his parents struggle with his brother’s disability, redditor LateFaithlessness455 had ‘no interest’ in living the same life. Therefore, when his girlfriend got pregnant, he was set on ensuring that the baby they were having was healthy. After many tests, they received heartbreaking news, which pushed him to leave his girlfriend and baby behind.
Scroll down to find the full story and a conversation with early childhood and disability author Jenny Nechvatal, who kindly agreed to tell us more about what parents experience upon learning they will have a baby with a disability.
Finding out your child will have to struggle with poor health for the rest of their life can be heartbreaking
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Having ‘no interest’ in such a life, this man chose to leave his girlfriend and baby behind
Image credits: MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: KoolShooters / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: LateFaithlessness455
Each year, 120,000 babies are born in the US with birth defects
Image credits: Ryutaro Tsukata / pexels (not the actual photo)
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, each year, 120,000 babies are born in the US with birth defects. It happens when the fetus is developing in the womb and can result in physical, intellectual, or developmental disabilities.
Unfortunately, the exact cause of birth defects is unknown. Researchers assume that they are the result of a complex mix of factors such as genetics, chromosomal problems, exposure to toxic substances, infections during pregnancy, or a lack of certain nutrients.
Healthcare providers can diagnose some conditions during pregnancy by using prenatal testing. However, some can only be found after the baby is born, and others only later in life when the child starts having symptoms.
Upon receiving such news, childhood and disability author Jenny Nechvatal tells Bored Panda that parents will feel a range of emotions. “There will be grief, sadness, worry, and fear. There will also be a strong feeling of love as we love our children, no matter who they are.
It will be a rollercoaster of emotions that you will go through. This rollercoaster will continue throughout their life. At times, you and your partner will experience different emotions, so if one of you is having a bad day, the other can help you see the positive side. A sense of humor is also essential.”
Over time, many parents find their own ways of adjusting and moving forward
Image credits: SHVETS production / pexels (not the actual photo)
Over time, many parents find their own ways of adjusting and moving forward. Nechvatal advises asking questions and talking to parents who have a child with a disability to gain insights and practical advice. “Join support groups and use their knowledge to prepare for the arrival of your baby. Listen to medical advice, but be aware that each child is different, so they may not experience all aspects of the diagnosed disability.”
Something that can help prepare parents for the challenges that come with raising a baby with a disability is reading and researching. Nechvatal further explains, “If they know the child will need medical equipment or mobility aids in the future, finding information on leasing, purchasing an operation of these in advance will make the introduction to them easier for the family.”
She additionally recommends setting up support networks so parents have time to maintain their relationship, which is essential when parenting a kid with unique needs. A positive attitude and the ability to find humor in such a situation are also important and make it easier for the whole family to appreciate each other.
“Parenting children with a disability makes you so much more grateful, and you don’t take things for granted like other parents, and you know that you have a richness to life that others don’t,” says Nechvatal.
“You are living a life that is full, busy and you wouldn’t have it any other way because if you changed your children, then they wouldn’t be the unique and amazing human beings that they are. Their strengths, quirks, and personality traits wouldn’t exist, and they are perfect just as they are,” she concludes.
Some readers supported the author, suggesting he reach out to a therapist
Others questioned his behavior, asking why he had children at all
Those who went through similar situations kindly shared their own stories
Poll Question
Thanks! Check out the results:
Subscribe to Access
Exclusive Polls
By entering your email and clicking Subscribe, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. You are also agreeing to our Privacy Policy.
Thank you! You've successfully subscribed to newsletters!
You May Also Like
Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk
Do you think childless individuals should be expected to chip in for group babysitting costs during friend gatherings?
“They Saw The Blood Leave My Body”: Woman Refuses To Tip 10% At Bridal Store
How do you feel about the practice of tipping at a bridal store?
17 Y.O. Is Done Sharing Her Birthday With Her Late Twin, Parents Are Not Having It
Do you think the girl should be allowed to celebrate her birthday without the remembrance of her deceased twin?
I had a severely disabled child and stayed. There are few things more soul-destroying than watching your child never learn to sit up, never learn to crawl, never learn to speak a single word. Month after month. I don't approve of leaving, but I can understand that many people can't cope with that. I couldn't cope, it drove me into a mental hospital.
It's totally to be able not to cope. But you didn't cut out your child completely to go on and try with someone else. One wonders what he had done if that second woman also had had a disabled child. Would he have moved on and on, leaving a string of disabled children behind him? So so sorry for all you endured.
Load More Replies...
Nobody in this situation is TA. I personally can’t understand having a child if you know their life is going to be short and filled with pain but I guess a lot of people have hope that a miracle will happen - the child will be healthier than expected, there’ll be medical advancements, praying to god will help heal them…
Nah, his parents are. Obviously what they were dealing with sucks and is going suck the air out of the household. But you still have another child that needs to be raised and be treated as special in their way. And they absolutely needed to accommodate that. And no matter the disability of the other child, that should prevent making and creating special moments that aren't inclusive of that child.
Load More Replies...
NTA. I know, the last and final say is to be hers, but there's a reason to agree on things, and while you can change your mind - or, rather, allow feelings to change your mind - you can't expect someone else to cochange with you, if that's against the agreement, that, likely and for sure in this case, is well thought through and not just a sentiment of not wanting to change diapers more than three years.
Last and final say as to whether or not a pregnancy should continue should absolutely be up to the woman. Your body, your choice. But...i also strongly believe that men should have the right to opt out, completely. No contact, no financial support, particularly in cases where the issue of children has been discussed and agreed on, but especially in circumstances like this. No one should be able to force ANYONE else to become a parent in any capacity.
Load More Replies...
I think that the people commenting that he should not have children at all if he isn't willing to raise a child with a disability because they might develop a disability later are missing something really crucial. The kinds of disabilities tested for in pregnancies are extreme and often with lot quality of life and high morbidity rates. We're not talking about testing for deafness or blindness but for things like Williams syndrome. You are essentially knowingly bringing a child into the world to suffer. The cases where this is not the case are rare. This is absolutely not comparable to a learning disability or to what might happen if the child you've raised and had a relationship with is injured.
Yet there are plenty of severe disabilitys that absoltely can not be detected. Pretty much any and all mental disability, like autism. Quite a few disabilities that will only show at 2-ish and that are, sorry to say, brutal. Not everyone is cut out for that, but if you are not cut out for even trying, and your genes are at higher risk, just go adopt a kid around 4, most disabilities would be know by then
Load More Replies...
He did better by that child than most might under the same circumstances, and I'm genuinely glad for both him and that child that they never knew one another. He didn't need to be re-traumatized, and that child didn't need an angry (not implying abuse) unwilling father who's face only ever read "I regret your existence". Really, it wouldn't have been any good for the girlfriend either, as she'd be doing the same workload, but with an unwilling partner haunting the place.
1. Neglect is a form of abuse. 2. I don't think OP should have had to pay child support for this since they had agreed on something and his wife changed his mind. It's obviously her right to keep the child, but she broke a verbal contract and he shouldn't have to suffer for it. 3. OP should probably get some therapy. 4. If you don't think that you can take care of a disabled child, or any child for that matter it's better to let someone else do it. If you live in a country that can help you, then let them help. It's not good for anyone to grow up with miserable parents feeling like a burden or not getting the help they need.
Not sure why you got downvoted for this comment. It's very well said!
Load More Replies...
What's the point of the advances in modern medicine and screening if you do nothing with the info?
My wife and I both knew that we wouldn't be able to care for a special needs kid, wouldn't be able to essentially give up our lives. Not sure but I think I would have left, too, if I had been in OP's situation.
I'm going to be AH here. She chose to ignore wishes and bring a child into world to suffer. He had no say but did remove himself from a mental torture. To call him a monster for not attending a funeral is off side. Would you rather he then went off rails too?
NTA, gf went back on their agreement, which is her right, but she shouldn't have expected him to do the same. A baby needs two enthusiastic yes votes. OP was clear about what he could offer as a parent. Much better for a parent not to be involved at all than for someone to be an awful parent. More people should understand their limits before having kids. Parents are AH for guilting him and not iwning up to the difficulties of his childhood, but at their age they won't change now. He's don't the right thing with LC/NC, don't try and dredge up the past but also don't pretend it's nothing.
I know that's not the point here but I think that in situations like this the absent parent shouldn't be forced to pay child support. They BOTH agreed not to have a child with disability. It was a deal breaker for the man. I understand that the woman decided to keep the child and don't blame her for this BUT I think that if it was clear and discussed that he doesn't want child then he shouldn't pay. Same goes with child-trapping. It's not his "fault" (if one can call it that in this situation) that she changed her mind - he shouldn't be forced to pay for it for years.
Agreed, except that in this instance no one forced him to pay. He told he he'd pay support, and didn't fight the amount the courts required him to pay.
Load More Replies...
I disagree that his parents did their best to raise him. He knew since age 5 that he was being neglected. It doesn't sound like they took advantage of any services that could have helped them care for the brother and still gave them enough time /energy to care for OP as well. Having a special needs child doesn't make it okay to neglect or ignore your other kids.
Part of the problem here is that parents of disabled kids get very little support. Anyone who is against what he wanted to do needs to step up and support the families that raise disabled kids. And, I can't say that I blame him, I had similar neglect from parents due because of a sibling and vowed I would never do what they did and I would never put my kids in the position I was in.
I'll say NAH. I'm a believer that if you aren't willing or able to handle disabilities (for whatever reasons) then you shouldn't be having kids, and this fellow definitely needs to get some therapy before he considers having anymore. As others pointed out, not all disabilities are detectable before birth, not all are detectable at birth, and people of any age can become disabled at any time for a myriad of reasons. I don't necessarily blame him for leaving when she decided to keep the baby, but refusing to attend the funeral and referring to the child as "her child" is cold. I sympathize with his predicament, but he really needs to address the underlying issues with a therapist and then think long and hard about if he should get sterilized. With kids, you really don't know what you're going to get.
OP basically raised himself since he was 5 years old. NTA. His GF changed her mind after he told her about his childhood + his firm limits. NTA.
A disabled child needs so much in effort, energy and resources with often little payback. I've been somewhat in OP's shoes, albeit that it was an illness that would later take my siblings life. It took a lifetime to acknowledge that I went through 2 years without parenting and all three of my surviving siblings and I have the mental scars but unlike OP, I know my parents tried. It just asks so much (she was immunocompromised and when at home, she had to be kept from us and mum.had to limit contact too). And there is no help. People feel sorry, sometimes offer to assist once or twice... if you want to help, if there are siblings, offer to take them from the situation on a regular basis, so they can be a child and feel special for a day too. That being said, OP's girlfriend had the right to change her mind but had to accept the consequences. Being forced to take care of a child when you don't want it (for whatever reason) isn't beneficial for nobody. Life is not a Hallmark movie.
Absolutely NTA. A situation you couldn't control was forced on you when you were a child, you had to endure it and learned from it. Later on you clearly communicated your feelings and intentions and when the other person suddenly changed their mind and went exactly against what BOTH of you agreed on you stood your ground. Some people - usually those who are lucky to live a life without major impacts - will probably call you cold-hearted and other things based on their ignorance. You know what's best for you so act upon it, no matter what others think you should do.
I totally agree with the oil rig guy, I was raised by grand parents never a hug, I even signed my own report cards, sometimes I would go home & house was locked, I'm glad I ate at school bcuz some days that's all I ate. I hate the idea of killing a baby but I couldn't have kept up with the demands that "me with its care.
First of all: I love this guys parents in law. Second: I absolutely agree with him. My husband and I both decided too, to terminate, if something was wrong. Neither of us had bad experiances with disability, but we knew that a disabled child could be a burden on their siblings and once we were too old or not there anymore, the siblings would have to care for them and we did not want that for them.
The statement "unfortunately the exact cause of birth defects is unknown" is grossly inaccurate. "Birth defects" is not a single diagnosis-there are thousands of conditions that constitute a birth defect, and the cause of very many of these is extremely well known and understood. Genetic syndromes like trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) are caused by abnormal numbers of chromosomes that happens right at the time of conception through a process called non-disjunction. Mutations in single genes cause a whole spectrum of conditions such as inherited metabolic disorders. Issues with maternal health can cause birth defects like fetal alcohol syndrome, or valproate syndrome (if mum takes sodium valproate for epilepsy). We know a huge amount about very many birth defects-how they are inherited, what to test for during pregnancy, what preventative interventions can be done (like taking folic acid prior to conception to reduce the risk of spina bifida).
Before my wife and I got married, we agreed to keep and love any child born, regardless. I support a woman's right to choose. 100% pro-choice. I feel a man shouldn't be able to tell a woman she MUST have a baby, nor that she MUST have a medical procedure done on her body (abortion) that she doesn't truly consent to. However, I often have to ask: where are men's reproductive rights in all this? I often see people smirk and say "Well, he should have just kept it in his pants then!" And while I understand, I just don't think that's the right response. This guy paid child support. If he did not want that child, he shouldn't be shamed for not doing more than that.
I don't get the OP. He was neglected by his parents because the were very focused on taking care of the brother so when he didn't want to have a child with a disability, why was that? His parents were the ones to deal with it not him and he didn't have another child that was going to be neglected. Why have a child anyway? What if the chld gets sick, suffers an accident or another tragedy that could leave him disabled.
If the genders were reversed and a dad chose to raise a disabled child and the mom bailed because it would be hard and sacrifice would be necessary y’all would crucify her on here. It’s normalized for men to abandon their families and then try again to get a “better” family. If a woman did that y’all would call her the devil or that she’s mentally unstable or a terrible selfish monster not fit to breathe. If it was the mother posting here she’d left her family, you’d all be hateful.
Sorry bro but you’re a crappy human. You whine that you were emotionally abandoned by your parents and now you physically and emotionally did the same to your own child too. You don’t want a disabled child? Get a vasectomy. I hate when dudes suggest abortion as easy answer when it’s actually a f*****g agonizing decision for some women and it’s very physically and emotionally difficult for us. Abortion is only easy when you’re not the one actually suffering it. Your parents did their best, you could have been born like your brother too, you have a lot of resentment and turned that on your child. Your parents, brother, ex, and own child didn’t choose these hardships and because you could bail, you did. You sound smug about your new life and couldn’t even acknowledge that your child had a life and was loved by people you used to love. You try to convince us your happy new life is proof you made the right decision, but it was just the easiest decision, you got to completely detach. Loser.
I think he's TA for not going to the funeral. Like come on, dude. I get not wanting g to be around d to raise the kid, but you can't even go to the funeral?
Karma is a nice idea, but I've seen enough of the world to know that if karma is a real thing, it rarely affects one in their own lifetime. The next? Who knows? But rarely this one.
Load More Replies... I had a severely disabled child and stayed. There are few things more soul-destroying than watching your child never learn to sit up, never learn to crawl, never learn to speak a single word. Month after month. I don't approve of leaving, but I can understand that many people can't cope with that. I couldn't cope, it drove me into a mental hospital.
It's totally to be able not to cope. But you didn't cut out your child completely to go on and try with someone else. One wonders what he had done if that second woman also had had a disabled child. Would he have moved on and on, leaving a string of disabled children behind him? So so sorry for all you endured.
Load More Replies... Nobody in this situation is TA. I personally can’t understand having a child if you know their life is going to be short and filled with pain but I guess a lot of people have hope that a miracle will happen - the child will be healthier than expected, there’ll be medical advancements, praying to god will help heal them…
Nah, his parents are. Obviously what they were dealing with sucks and is going suck the air out of the household. But you still have another child that needs to be raised and be treated as special in their way. And they absolutely needed to accommodate that. And no matter the disability of the other child, that should prevent making and creating special moments that aren't inclusive of that child.
Load More Replies... NTA. I know, the last and final say is to be hers, but there's a reason to agree on things, and while you can change your mind - or, rather, allow feelings to change your mind - you can't expect someone else to cochange with you, if that's against the agreement, that, likely and for sure in this case, is well thought through and not just a sentiment of not wanting to change diapers more than three years.
Last and final say as to whether or not a pregnancy should continue should absolutely be up to the woman. Your body, your choice. But...i also strongly believe that men should have the right to opt out, completely. No contact, no financial support, particularly in cases where the issue of children has been discussed and agreed on, but especially in circumstances like this. No one should be able to force ANYONE else to become a parent in any capacity.
Load More Replies... I think that the people commenting that he should not have children at all if he isn't willing to raise a child with a disability because they might develop a disability later are missing something really crucial. The kinds of disabilities tested for in pregnancies are extreme and often with lot quality of life and high morbidity rates. We're not talking about testing for deafness or blindness but for things like Williams syndrome. You are essentially knowingly bringing a child into the world to suffer. The cases where this is not the case are rare. This is absolutely not comparable to a learning disability or to what might happen if the child you've raised and had a relationship with is injured.
Yet there are plenty of severe disabilitys that absoltely can not be detected. Pretty much any and all mental disability, like autism. Quite a few disabilities that will only show at 2-ish and that are, sorry to say, brutal. Not everyone is cut out for that, but if you are not cut out for even trying, and your genes are at higher risk, just go adopt a kid around 4, most disabilities would be know by then
Load More Replies... He did better by that child than most might under the same circumstances, and I'm genuinely glad for both him and that child that they never knew one another. He didn't need to be re-traumatized, and that child didn't need an angry (not implying abuse) unwilling father who's face only ever read "I regret your existence". Really, it wouldn't have been any good for the girlfriend either, as she'd be doing the same workload, but with an unwilling partner haunting the place.
1. Neglect is a form of abuse. 2. I don't think OP should have had to pay child support for this since they had agreed on something and his wife changed his mind. It's obviously her right to keep the child, but she broke a verbal contract and he shouldn't have to suffer for it. 3. OP should probably get some therapy. 4. If you don't think that you can take care of a disabled child, or any child for that matter it's better to let someone else do it. If you live in a country that can help you, then let them help. It's not good for anyone to grow up with miserable parents feeling like a burden or not getting the help they need.
Not sure why you got downvoted for this comment. It's very well said!
Load More Replies... What's the point of the advances in modern medicine and screening if you do nothing with the info?
My wife and I both knew that we wouldn't be able to care for a special needs kid, wouldn't be able to essentially give up our lives. Not sure but I think I would have left, too, if I had been in OP's situation.
I'm going to be AH here. She chose to ignore wishes and bring a child into world to suffer. He had no say but did remove himself from a mental torture. To call him a monster for not attending a funeral is off side. Would you rather he then went off rails too?
NTA, gf went back on their agreement, which is her right, but she shouldn't have expected him to do the same. A baby needs two enthusiastic yes votes. OP was clear about what he could offer as a parent. Much better for a parent not to be involved at all than for someone to be an awful parent. More people should understand their limits before having kids. Parents are AH for guilting him and not iwning up to the difficulties of his childhood, but at their age they won't change now. He's don't the right thing with LC/NC, don't try and dredge up the past but also don't pretend it's nothing.
I know that's not the point here but I think that in situations like this the absent parent shouldn't be forced to pay child support. They BOTH agreed not to have a child with disability. It was a deal breaker for the man. I understand that the woman decided to keep the child and don't blame her for this BUT I think that if it was clear and discussed that he doesn't want child then he shouldn't pay. Same goes with child-trapping. It's not his "fault" (if one can call it that in this situation) that she changed her mind - he shouldn't be forced to pay for it for years.
Agreed, except that in this instance no one forced him to pay. He told he he'd pay support, and didn't fight the amount the courts required him to pay.
Load More Replies... I disagree that his parents did their best to raise him. He knew since age 5 that he was being neglected. It doesn't sound like they took advantage of any services that could have helped them care for the brother and still gave them enough time /energy to care for OP as well. Having a special needs child doesn't make it okay to neglect or ignore your other kids.
Part of the problem here is that parents of disabled kids get very little support. Anyone who is against what he wanted to do needs to step up and support the families that raise disabled kids. And, I can't say that I blame him, I had similar neglect from parents due because of a sibling and vowed I would never do what they did and I would never put my kids in the position I was in.
I'll say NAH. I'm a believer that if you aren't willing or able to handle disabilities (for whatever reasons) then you shouldn't be having kids, and this fellow definitely needs to get some therapy before he considers having anymore. As others pointed out, not all disabilities are detectable before birth, not all are detectable at birth, and people of any age can become disabled at any time for a myriad of reasons. I don't necessarily blame him for leaving when she decided to keep the baby, but refusing to attend the funeral and referring to the child as "her child" is cold. I sympathize with his predicament, but he really needs to address the underlying issues with a therapist and then think long and hard about if he should get sterilized. With kids, you really don't know what you're going to get.
OP basically raised himself since he was 5 years old. NTA. His GF changed her mind after he told her about his childhood + his firm limits. NTA.
A disabled child needs so much in effort, energy and resources with often little payback. I've been somewhat in OP's shoes, albeit that it was an illness that would later take my siblings life. It took a lifetime to acknowledge that I went through 2 years without parenting and all three of my surviving siblings and I have the mental scars but unlike OP, I know my parents tried. It just asks so much (she was immunocompromised and when at home, she had to be kept from us and mum.had to limit contact too). And there is no help. People feel sorry, sometimes offer to assist once or twice... if you want to help, if there are siblings, offer to take them from the situation on a regular basis, so they can be a child and feel special for a day too. That being said, OP's girlfriend had the right to change her mind but had to accept the consequences. Being forced to take care of a child when you don't want it (for whatever reason) isn't beneficial for nobody. Life is not a Hallmark movie.
Absolutely NTA. A situation you couldn't control was forced on you when you were a child, you had to endure it and learned from it. Later on you clearly communicated your feelings and intentions and when the other person suddenly changed their mind and went exactly against what BOTH of you agreed on you stood your ground. Some people - usually those who are lucky to live a life without major impacts - will probably call you cold-hearted and other things based on their ignorance. You know what's best for you so act upon it, no matter what others think you should do.
I totally agree with the oil rig guy, I was raised by grand parents never a hug, I even signed my own report cards, sometimes I would go home & house was locked, I'm glad I ate at school bcuz some days that's all I ate. I hate the idea of killing a baby but I couldn't have kept up with the demands that "me with its care.
First of all: I love this guys parents in law. Second: I absolutely agree with him. My husband and I both decided too, to terminate, if something was wrong. Neither of us had bad experiances with disability, but we knew that a disabled child could be a burden on their siblings and once we were too old or not there anymore, the siblings would have to care for them and we did not want that for them.
The statement "unfortunately the exact cause of birth defects is unknown" is grossly inaccurate. "Birth defects" is not a single diagnosis-there are thousands of conditions that constitute a birth defect, and the cause of very many of these is extremely well known and understood. Genetic syndromes like trisomy 21 (Down syndrome) are caused by abnormal numbers of chromosomes that happens right at the time of conception through a process called non-disjunction. Mutations in single genes cause a whole spectrum of conditions such as inherited metabolic disorders. Issues with maternal health can cause birth defects like fetal alcohol syndrome, or valproate syndrome (if mum takes sodium valproate for epilepsy). We know a huge amount about very many birth defects-how they are inherited, what to test for during pregnancy, what preventative interventions can be done (like taking folic acid prior to conception to reduce the risk of spina bifida).
Before my wife and I got married, we agreed to keep and love any child born, regardless. I support a woman's right to choose. 100% pro-choice. I feel a man shouldn't be able to tell a woman she MUST have a baby, nor that she MUST have a medical procedure done on her body (abortion) that she doesn't truly consent to. However, I often have to ask: where are men's reproductive rights in all this? I often see people smirk and say "Well, he should have just kept it in his pants then!" And while I understand, I just don't think that's the right response. This guy paid child support. If he did not want that child, he shouldn't be shamed for not doing more than that.
I don't get the OP. He was neglected by his parents because the were very focused on taking care of the brother so when he didn't want to have a child with a disability, why was that? His parents were the ones to deal with it not him and he didn't have another child that was going to be neglected. Why have a child anyway? What if the chld gets sick, suffers an accident or another tragedy that could leave him disabled.
If the genders were reversed and a dad chose to raise a disabled child and the mom bailed because it would be hard and sacrifice would be necessary y’all would crucify her on here. It’s normalized for men to abandon their families and then try again to get a “better” family. If a woman did that y’all would call her the devil or that she’s mentally unstable or a terrible selfish monster not fit to breathe. If it was the mother posting here she’d left her family, you’d all be hateful.
Sorry bro but you’re a crappy human. You whine that you were emotionally abandoned by your parents and now you physically and emotionally did the same to your own child too. You don’t want a disabled child? Get a vasectomy. I hate when dudes suggest abortion as easy answer when it’s actually a f*****g agonizing decision for some women and it’s very physically and emotionally difficult for us. Abortion is only easy when you’re not the one actually suffering it. Your parents did their best, you could have been born like your brother too, you have a lot of resentment and turned that on your child. Your parents, brother, ex, and own child didn’t choose these hardships and because you could bail, you did. You sound smug about your new life and couldn’t even acknowledge that your child had a life and was loved by people you used to love. You try to convince us your happy new life is proof you made the right decision, but it was just the easiest decision, you got to completely detach. Loser.
I think he's TA for not going to the funeral. Like come on, dude. I get not wanting g to be around d to raise the kid, but you can't even go to the funeral?
Karma is a nice idea, but I've seen enough of the world to know that if karma is a real thing, it rarely affects one in their own lifetime. The next? Who knows? But rarely this one.
Load More Replies...
50
42